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No.28639
I recently stayed at the house of a sibling of mine that I dearly like to talk with, she's 14 years old and I'm 19. Our relationship is weird, she kissed me when we were younger, and her sister did it too, so I got a crazy incest fetish from a young age, later I fell off with her older sister and started to focus more on her, I guess the fact that her big sister didn't drop out of college like I did made the big ripple between us, that and how she just watches her phone all the time while I'm with her. Her younger sister though? she might use it a bit while chilling with me sometimes, but every time a minute or so passes she turns it down and just stares at me with those beautiful eyes and that face that asks me for a new topic to discuss. She's very mature for her age, though as I've said before the fact that I might of slowed down my mental age due to dropping out could be the reason for why I prefer talking to her. Her older sister doesn't really intimidate me, she's actually very nice to me, but I have literally nothing that I wish to ask her or discuss with her, and I've left her countless times alone in the tv room (though she probably doesn't give a shit considering she just phones her bf a few minutes later after I leave), and I go straight to her sister's room or wherever she is at and have the biggest social stimulation in the whole week (sometimes month). I have no friends and I think I might have some anti-social behaviours, I don't talk shit though, since I haven't been diagnosed in any way.
The problem that brings me here is that, basically, my underage cousin, who I can't stop having romantic feelings for, is literally a drug for me. I stay awake for so long just talking to her and seeing her smile that cute smile, show her cool moves, even if I just stay next to her while she watches Facebook memes I don't care, she makes me so happy, I think the fact that her family is what I wish mine was doesn't really help in stopping me from feeling regret at what I got out of life. She could be my exact age, she could be unrelated to me, they could be my parents and she my sister and we could live in the same house, grow up together, have someone to talk to all the time (I'm an only child)
I genuinely hate to feel like this, I wish I could love her just as a sibling, and I do up to a point, but I always feel the extreme need to try to see if there's any signs of her perhaps also loving me romantically. So far, I think she just enjoys talking to me.
I don't come here for answers, just venting, do as you please in this thread, bye.
Oh yeah, by the way, in case you thought it was weird that the parents of a 14 year old girl thought it was a good idea to invite her 19 year old cousin to a sleep over… well, yeah, I though it was weird the first time, too, I guess they just trust me a lot. If only they knew the fucking mess that I am, not only as a person but for my age.
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No.28640
>>28639
>cool moves
*movies
lol
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No.28641
>>28639
And that is how "statutory rape" cases start. Voluntary mutual feelings from the minor.
I dont really condone it but, it sounds like you have a well-intended albeit warped relationship to your cousin.
But for reals, I think treating 13-17 as differemt from 18-24 is dumb.
I mean seriously people in that age group are culturally similar.
Its so fucking dumb that people think kids two grade levels apart as "old man and little boy."
Teenagers and vicenarians arent oversized toddlers that believe in unicorns and sunshine.
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No.28643
>>28641
Her parents could have a good case to accuse me for abusing her, everytime they visit us I take no longer than an hour or so to invite her up to my room. I try to do it without bringing in too much attention. My mom told me once that with all of the sexual abuse accusations happening recently (though this could have been just as likely 50 years ago), she fears that my cousin could falsely accuse me of harassing her, and they would use the visits as evidence. I don't really fear that, honestly, though she's still young, she doesn't seem like she would lower herself like that if her parents wanted some sort of monetary compensation (they are arguably a bit shorter on cash than my family, but not really by much). I don't think they are that kind of people either.
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No.28644
>>28641
And as for your take on age differences, I personally think it would be morally wrong for us to have anything beyond a friendship, I'm arguably more mature than her, I would be taking advantage of her in any case, and incest is simply wrong because of the retarded children part. No girl would date a guy that could knock her up with something more likely to come out defective than in other cases, and a sexless relationship is doomed to fail or to be constantly on the ropes.
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No.28646
>>28644
>And as for your take on age differences, I personally think it would be morally wrong for us to have anything beyond a friendship, I'm arguably more mature than her,
Nah. Your maturity level is the same. Yes you may be older but age doesnt correlate with maturity. Especially for the failed adults on this website.
Besides, teens intentionally seek sex and money, so theyre so theyre not innocent. Society has this warped moralistic impression of youth being a fragile rosy dimension to be kept separate from the real world.
But yes, your relationship would be wrong because incest.
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No.28651
>>28646
Didn't respond in a long time because I mostly agreed with your post and because I was curious if anyone else was going to put in their thoughts.
I found myself crying hard like I hadn't in a long time, the first time because my first job interview was just a disappointing mess (I just got sent to the wrong place to ask in the building, wasted a bunch of time), the second was talking to my ex-girlfriend from middle school for the third time, having an awkward conversation and deleting the account I had made to talk to her out of shame. I knew there was nothing common between us anymore but I still tried, I can't say I wasn't half hoping she would be interested in just having sex with me (once I refused banging her, she was pretty much telling me we could do it, but then she told me she had already lost her virginity, which I still have to this day, and for some stupid reason I told her I would rather wait for someone that was having their first time to lose mine), we were pretty fucking dirty for our age, instead I was left with the feeling that the old her was just gone. I know, I'm still practically a kid, I don't know shit,I can't feel real things, whatever, all of this combined with realizing the happiest I've been all week was with my cousin was just the cherry in the top to turn me into a crying mess. I guess you're right, I'm pretty immature.
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No.28652
And then Einstein clapped, right? Typical fake story. Why don't you faggots get some new material?
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No.28653
>>28652
You're lucky I came back to post. You can believe it or not, man, but out there, there really is a young man that loves his cousin, perhaps in a really bad way.
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No.28654
>>28651
Dont feel too bad anon. I fucked up too. Have had crippling depression since infancy along with autism.
Have a history of outbursts amd clumsiness. I thought that everything would get better once I hit adulthood. Boy, was I wrong.
Have blew two chances to get vocational schooling because I wasn't mentally ready. Ive been hitting some serious bout of depression for the past couple yeara that even I didn't think was possible. And Im losing my drive to do better bc quarter-life crisis but on steroids.
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No.28655
>>28654
Im starting to wonder why the fuxk Im still living.
Fuck this reality and fuck Gods shitty "divine plan." If He loved me He wouldve asked permission before giving me this lot.
Iftheres such thing as reincarnation I would never EVER want to co.e back as a human. Fuck this human life.
I wanna be an astral being free to roam the cosmos.
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No.28656
>>28654
>>28655
If we weren't on this board I would think you're messing with me, but then I remember worst shit I've heard people confess in here. Good luck to you, anon, if you live in the US you're luckier than most of the world is when it comes to these things.
Guns!
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No.28664
same happens with my cousin, and we also have a 6 year age gap. even though i've had experiences with other women i always prefered her bc i knew her since childhood, and that is a lot of time. my older cousin on the other hand is an insufferable lying twat and nobody in the family really likes her, and even to this day when she sees me with her sister she always tries to kick her off to be with me instead. both of us know its wrong but the spark is there and its kinda fucked up. the only thing to keep in mind is the retarded offspring that could come up if we had sex, so yeah op try not to be a horny nigger
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No.28667
You think it's normal to like women you knew as a kid? I have a cousin who I have non-familial feelings for. I think it's nostalgia. The further back, and more you were around someone, the higher likelihood of feelings like that. I have strong feelings for certain locations in video games I played as a kid as well.
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No.28668
>>28667
I wouldn't say it's nostalgia for me, at all. I remember her being this annoying brat that always interrupted me and her sister while we were trying to bond or have a good time, though as I've said before at some point she became surprisingly mature at a young age and it was actually nice to have her around. Now that I think about it, I did "like" her when I was much younger than now, though not in the same "adult" way that I do now, and by that I mean it's a bit farther away from the puppy love side of the chart of the love spectrum, now we can have reasonable conversations together, for once. And kids grow up faster now, I guess. I like her because she's aware of things that I sometimes feel I'm the only other person in our family that's aware of.
>>28664
Don't really have much to say about your story, anon, I obviously agree with your last piece of advice. Prison is what scares me the most, and I don't think of it often, but when I do I feel like disappearing completely, like there's no way I'm not going to try something at some point and I'm going to the can one way or the other.
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No.28699
I won't bump my own thread, since my last post didn't receive more answers I assume the topic has lost its initial wave of interest, that's fine, I also won't be quite as descriptive of our relationship, as relatively vague as I've been, if she ever finds this post (which is doubtful, we live in a third world country and the chances of her ever using imageboards is miniscule) she would know it's me immediately.
Holy fuck, just went to her house again, for the third time this weekend, it was great, we were mostly alone for the whole time, we shared some more personal things about each other, I told her I wished she was my sister, she told me she always wanted a brother, little things like that fill me with frustation that almost made me cry right there but also with happiness. My big problem is that I wish to be much more open to her, I don't want to straight up tell her how I exactly feel about her, but I wish I could share things I've never share with anyone, but I think a manchild shouldn't share his suicidal thoughts with a teenager. I learned this a few weeks ago, when socially inept people finally find someone to talk to they are much more prone than the average to go overboard with their emotional sharing and end up telling the person they met a few weeks ago about all of their problems. I know it's a burden for someone to be told about these thoughts, I don't want to burden her, much less let her know that she's the unreachable goal that burdens me. She truly is like a drug, I feel empty every time I come back home, I was the closest I've been in a while to seriously considering the rope again.
I would like to know you guys' experiences with sharing such personal thoughts and emotions with someone else, how it went, if it fucked up your relationship or if, by finding the right way, you became much closer.
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No.28700
>>28699
for the third time I don't mean I've been three times in her house throughout the last weekend, third time in general, span of half of the year, I think.
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No.28760
By the Mother of God, are you pathetic. Don't you have better things to do than to post girly diary-entries? Get outside for a change.
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No.28761
>>28760
Why should he? This is all imageboards have been reduced to. Fake bullshit stories from the exact same anons whining about how degenerate everything is. You either learn to deal with it or just disconnect from the internet entirely because this is all it is now: either the most banal, obvious truisms from the woketards or the most cringy admissions that abortion isn't as bad as we think from shitposters like OP. Even funnier is that shit like this is allowed to stay up but anything actually substantial that could lead to a real, meaningful conversation gets archived and purged. You see this on every single board on 4chan, 8kun, etc.
>>28699
>which is doubtful, we live in a third world country and the chances of her ever using imageboards is miniscule
Dude, just admit you live in the suburbs like every other anon. Just because you're some Angloid white guy in some milquetoast suburb doesn't mean you need to pretend you're a foreigner with an incest fetish. Just develop an actual personality. It's really not that hard.
Get outside for a change and stop ruining our board.
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No.28781
>>28761
Your board is dead anyway, our board, I have a weird compulsion to see what people post here from time to time. I'm an actual Mexican "man", I only feel like responding because you felt like bumping this thread, no harsh feelings.
I've seen your posts somewhere before, something similar about how some stuff here is just fake stories for some reason, I think what I'm saying here is way too specific to even be considered fake. I don't really have or feel like getting screenshots or any other hard evidence, thanks all of you for reading.
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No.28792
>>28781
>I don't really have or feel like getting screenshots or any other hard evidence, thanks all of you for reading.
So you admit it's fake. Thank you. Now fuck off.
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No.28793
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No.28794
>>28781
>Your board is dead anyway, our board
Even the doomer board is doomed
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No.28804
look at these fuckers complaining about bringing back to life threads when thats exactly what they do, though i would like to believe they are trolls instead of retards. any news from about your cuz anon? btw im >>28664
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No.28808
>>28804
>trolls instead of retards
Keep seething, imageboardcel. Keep coping with your bullshit stories about your "cousins" lol you lot are literally just as degenerate as normies and are just buttmad you're not in the kool degen kids club like they are and it's obvious.
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No.28812
>>28804
Sorry for not responding, lots of thoughts have been going through my head in the last days, I don't think I'm going to visit her any longer, I don't want to burden her at all with my stupid thoughts, I'm too unstable and self-destructive to maintain relationships in general, all of this fucked up the little amount of control I had built upon my life in just a few weeks, I don't want to be with her for a night just to starve for social stimuli for the next days. I just want to go back to a time when I could manage to wake up really early in the morning and help as much as I could in the house, when I didn't care about being alone, I'm getting that feeling back, slowly but surely. I deleted a list of things I wanted to discuss and share with her that I had been writing for a while now, the closest I've come to some form of closure
My issues seem sillier the more I write about them, I wish I never got closer to her, that's all I can say now.
Cheers.
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