No.2579 [View All]
who else here didnt plan to live this long and is just making life up as they go along?
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No.6271
>>6260
>>6231
>>3696
we could all compromise and do this in lebanon tennessee
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No.6280
>>6271
wilson or bradley county? there are 2 from what i can see.
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No.6292
I truly thought I would have died before 30. I remember when I turned 30 I was like "Wow, really?", the few people in my life were like "Congrats anon!" but I felt like dying. Its been years since then and honestly, I haven't figured out the point of it all. The mechanical drive towards life still pushes me forward, I'm winging every decision without anyone to turn to for guidance. Granted, I know a lot more now than I did three years ago, it has made life marginally more comfortable, but I don't want comfort. I want meaning, simply becoming more comfortable is no goal of mine. I hope there is some meaning out there, even if I have to make my own, but I am not optimistic.
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No.6302
>>6292
One of truly awakening moment of my life was realization that I can not be satisfied. I had a meaning, I lost it, and it made no difference. No matter what life gave me, I wanted always more, often not just for myself, but for my close people and often whole world. I still don't know how to deal with fact that existence is a nigger.
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No.6303
>>2579
yes. Just had a birthday recently, and it was the age that I said (and spent my youth trying to make happen) I would be dead by. I wish I was, fuck this clown world.
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No.6307
>>6303
Anxiety is great gift. I went over the years from "no I don't want to die please save me" to smile on lips "bring it on baby, I'm ready, let's make it happen". You have plenty of time to die and death is a bitch, she won't come when you need her, like typical woman.
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No.6310
>>6307
>death is a bitch, she won't come when you need her, like typical woman.
ain't that the fucking truth.
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No.6314
>>3608
>a doomer meetup
do these things ever go well? hahahax10
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No.6316
>>2579
My friends on /suicide/ may already think I'm dead, but my latest attempt in fact failed quite badly. I've been too ashamed to go back and tell them of my failure. I passed out too quickly and may not have had enough drugs to fully kill myself either way. But I didn't even finish taking them - I half-assed it like everything else. I came to hours later crawling on the floor feeling like I was having a heart attack, barely able to breathe.
People think I have hobbies or passions. I just want to die. I do a bunch of shit sort of, but even faking interest in those things is getting hard.
I've wanted to die since 15, and now my greatest dream is to be dead and 15. Next best thing is to die as soon as possible - as soon as I have some money again and can pick up a shotgun to do it right.
>Now I'm 26 and I'm absolutely nowhere in life (I'm even back in my hometown) not even trying.
Relate to this part hard. I was actually asked to come back to my fucking childhood home when I was 21. I forgot what insufferable cunts my folks were - it's easy when you're on your own for a while. I gave it a few years of earnest trying, looking for more, better work… but it was all with these fuckers over my shoulder acting like I was their property and periodically lecturing me on jobseeking while I was beating the fucking pavement applying to everything I could. My parents never had to do that shit, they got jobs from their folks or from job fairs which came to them. They know nothing about actually working to get a job. I don't bother with it anymore - I could go back to retail, but why?
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No.6317
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No.6327
>>6314
no, but this is doomer so it would be fitting to fail
>>6280
wilson is by nashville, bradley is down further in the wilderness, depends on what people want
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No.6328
>>6327
Well, Bradley is closer to me.
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No.6339
>>6314
>do these things ever go well?
we are doomers after all, so as long as we dont plan on doing anything meaningful it could be a grand old time(but i live in hungary and there is only like 2 of us here so)
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No.6358
>>6339
Its 3. Reporting in from one of the most /doomer/ part of the country.
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No.6374
>>6358
what are the most /doomer/ places in the world? We should have a /doomer/ road trip. It would naturally end in Winona, MN.
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No.6384
>>6374
Decaying factory towns in ohio. Ohio is always grey and rainy and the societal decay is soul crushing. It's like seeing the possibilities of the past crumbling before your eyes.
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No.6387
>>6358
Fuck you got me with that one.
I mean the whole country is pretty doomer. I currently live in Budapest just looking at the beer prices in bars makes me depressed.
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No.19489
>>3567
maybe existence and the other niggers will follow their natural inclinations and fight it out, at least itll be more intersting that way
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No.19490
>>6374
roadtrip starting in africa, go up through the middle east, then to eastern europe, then across rural russia/mongolia to north korea. after leaving fly to the us or canada and drive around dead industry towns.
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No.19491
>>6387
>Budipest
What is life like in the pozz capital of our country, brother?
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No.19497
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No.19501
doesn't that describe everyone?
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No.19518
>>19490
You know this sounds crazy but we should organise this as tours for normies
they pay 20 grand for aestetic tours through post apocalyptic regions of the world
I heard the trans sibir train needs 1 week from moscow to vladiwostok.
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No.19606
>>6374
>what are the most /doomer/ places in the world?
I would say Canada is the absolute most /doomer/ place in the world. Why?
1. The country has no real identity. No real culture. Nothing whatsoever. Literally everything is either American/Chinese made or "Can-Con" bullshit that nobody watches/listens to/reads because it's the worst shit imaginable.
2. The country is a desolate wasteland frozen for most of the year. Outside of Canada's four major cities: Toronto, Montreal, Vancouver and Ottawa, the majority of Canadians live in small cities and towns that are chock full of problems (such as Edmonton, where the city has had a persistent problem with violent crime, especially sex-based crimes such as sexual assault, aggravated sexual assault, and sexual violations against children) but nobody cares because Canadians are the textbook definition of CUCK.
3. Canada has a piss poor justice system. The healing lodge fiasco is the tip of the iceberg. Pedophiles literally run rampant on Canadian streets, and parents are arrested by the (((RCMP))) if they even bother trying to fight back. If you thought the UK/Sweden were bad, go look at Canada - one victim even wrote a heartwrenching article about how he was failed by his country because NOBODY stood up for him, and still don't to this day.
4. Mental health services are abysmal when some guy who didn't even know where he was (when he was being tried) can just walk right into a BC school and stab some girl to death (saw the video of this long ago on some shock site). The Canadian initiative is "Bell Let's Talk" and they have all these millionaire hockey players playing for American teams tweeting #BellLetsTalk like that will actually solve anything.
5. Justin. Trudeau. 'Nuff said.
6. Canada has no future. It will be annexed by the United States within the lifetime of Canadian doomers, guaranteed. Until then, it is eating itself out from the inside. Sugar babying/gay for pay degeneracy is rife because Canada doesn't give a fuck about its youth. Did you know that in a few years, Canadian population growth will be entirely due to immigration? Check out all the immigrants posting online about how much they hate having been lured there - people would rather live in Indonesia and the like than Ca-NADA.
7. Quebec is the only part of the country with a fucking pulse, let alone any actual culture or identity. Think learning French will get you in with them? Nope - they'll look down on your sorry ass and tell you to move along.
A cold, boring, violent, stagnant place with all of America's problems, violence and crime and none of the benefits of living in such a diverse, interesting place filled with passionate people. There is no country in the West that truly encapsulates the doomer feeling than Canada.
http://ihatecan.blogspot.com/
https://shitaboutcanada.com/
You might disagree with some of the stuff written here, but their point still stands - Canada is a SHITHOLE, and to me, it is Doomer Central. At least American doomers can look back on the good old days, whatever those may be for them. Canadian doomers have pretty much fucking nothing other than "yeah, well, our millionaires once beat your millionaires for some shiny trophy!"
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No.19620
When I was a kid I didn't even think I would reach 18. Looking back, I don't know why I was so assured about it, I seriously had no plan for my life, and whenever asked I just gave a joke answer, like "corrupt cop", "Indiana Jones type archeologist", "Bus driver", or pimp. In the end I got in college for a class I don't really care, and now I'm dragging it for years more than it should because I'm not certain about working on this.
I have no dreams or aspirations, I have no long term objectives, never had. I'm not dumb, there was never a time I said "I will do X" and I failed at that, don't matter if it was way beyond the realm of things I'm used to, from making an statue to get in a martial arts competition, hell, I didn't even finish college and already passed the bar exam with just one week worth of study. What lacks me, what was always lacking in me, was drive. I don't have it. Never did.
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No.19623
>>19497
>Al Pacino
Just when I thought I was out, they pulled me back in.
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No.19624
>>19620
Don't worry friend, the possibilities will be running out the older you get until you will have nothing. I often thought about doing things, some I did, some went right, some went wrong but now, there is just nothing, I don't have any plans anymore.
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No.19626
>>19624
Same here. I never really had plans at all period myself - I've basically just been coasting, doing as little as possible. I'm like Frank Grimes if instead of snapping, he just gave up.
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No.19704
>>2579
I'm almost 19. Never considered suicide. I'm just along for the ride and I'll disembark when the car crashes. Its nice to think that this will be my first birthday where I can be completely alone. Memories that a birthday should create will instead be supplemented with ruminating over an inescapable past I've tried so hard to forget. Its so damned hard to talk to people about this and I always find it easier to talk out loud to myself as if I were speaking to the best friend I never had. Sorry for the gay blogpost.
Anyway, I thought of a joke the other day. It goes "How come when girls are mentally unstable its cute or quirky but when I am, its called axe menacing?"
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No.19718
>who else here didnt plan to live this long and is just making life up as they go along?
For me it is less about not expecting to get old but simply not thinking ahead in life. My life plan was
>gotta learn profession
>then some work
>then some college
>then white collar jawb
>then … I dunno, we will see
of course that we will see turned into doing nothing all day long
When I was still in college we had a professor at financial management. The topic was financial crime and money laundering and he was telling us how retards were laundering illicit money in fictive taxi companies. Then one day tax bureau came and asked them for the gasoline receipts for all the kilometers they have been driving entire year.
Professor then told us, don't be like those retards. If you ever plan something in life, plan it until the end. The entire plan must be complete and refined and detailed. And he is right. If you have no direction in life, you are like a giantic ship on the ocean. Just being carried away by torrents, with no seaport as target.
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No.20157
>>6384
Yeah I know that feel
T. Ohio resident
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No.20163
>>19704
>18yo
D'aaaaww how kyoooot, yet another teenedge babby thinks it knows how shitty life can get!
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No.20174
>>19704
I talk out loud to myself all the time as well
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No.20305
>>20163
Sun Goddess went Cobain at that age and she wasn't even close to 19. It's easy to see that life becomes bullshit past childhood even when you're not there yet.
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No.22971
When I was 17 I wanted to be dead by 18. When I was 18 I wanted to be dead by 20. At 20 I wanted to be dead by 25. The expectation just kept moving along as I grew older. I've come to the conclusion that I'm too scared to kill myself and short of doing a bunch of drugs to get over my fear of death it's probably never going to happen so in the meantime I have to work and scrounge for joy in any way that I can.
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No.22981
>>20174
I did all the time as a kid. My parents would make fun of me over it rather than think, gee, maybe anon is having some problems like talking to himself because you two can't be arsed to have a real relationship with him? I couldn't tell 'em I hear voices in my head because if I did, it'd be just another expense, and my parents were poor enough (Papa Anon kept trying to keep up with the Joneses with predictably disastrous results) without tacking on any meds I may have needed. Nowadays, I still do it, but I'm really starting to hate my own company.
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No.22982
>>22981
Good thing about going out at 3am in small city is that you can talk to yourself while walking without anyone seeing you. It feels like being totally naked and you are the only person alive.
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No.22988
>>22982
I wish I was as lucky as you. Where I live, it's a total shithole due to the serious crime, so I'd rather not risk it. I mean, I don't mind dying, but I'd prefer to do it on my own terms. Instead, I settle for talking to myself at home. If you're wondering, the voices in my head aren't the cliche "KILL YOURSELF ANON" sort, but phantasms of the family and friends I never had, that I wish I had - and it's gotten to the point that I literally have "memories" of shit that never actually happened with relatives/friends who don't even exist. At one point, I was so desperate for any sort of substance in my life that, when on a day walk (needed to just get out of the house for a bit), I pretended to talk to one of those relatives on my phone as I walked, as if they had actually called me and wanted to check up on me.
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No.23068
>>19606
>Check out all the immigrants posting online about how much they hate having been lured there
Cant find shit, post examples
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No.23079
>>22988
There are junkies and drunks roaming the streets around here sometimes but I found out that around 3am there really isn't anyone except maybe wagies who go to or from work that early.
>Instead, I settle for talking to myself at home.
I do that too, going from one window to the opposite window, thinking out loud like schizo.
>and it's gotten to the point that I literally have "memories" of shit that never actually happened with relatives/friends who don't even exist.
>I pretended to talk to one of those relatives on my phone as I walked, as if they had actually called me and wanted to check up on me.
You are lonely my friend but I find this to be normal. I used to do similar (however different) thing when I was kid even though I had friends. I'm still kind of living in my own world but difference is there isn't anyone anymore. Even as late teen, when I went out alone, I used to pretend that someone is actually with me walking and we are having good time. Shit's fucked up.
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No.23092
Life used to be good when I was younger. Now I'm 26 and life's going no where. My only hope is to learn/teach myself new things. To acquire skills to get me a decent job I don't hate. But dam, one of the most important life kills to have to succeed I suck at. That drive/motivation to push yourself is utterly lacking in me. I've swallowed the red-pill and that soured me greatly. When I was younger my will to live was basically attached to me finding a beautiful woman to love and care for. But woman only love opportunistically and have used up hearts.. and I'm not gonna settle for a 30yo washed up former slut who now wants to be a good girl and has few remaining years of beauty left. Who'll then hit menopause and sex will have lost its luster. I might just switch to gaydom, idk. All that stuff on-top of all the sht going on in our economy. Baby-Boomers telling us Millennials we're no good spoiled brats when the reverse is true. The stagnant wages. The Housing economy. The Wars. The Environment. The loss of Community. The fucking 1% per-centers. I say fuck everything! We should start a revolution fellow Boomers and fuck everything in the ass that has fucked us! If only I could get out of bed. :I
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No.23135
Always thought I'd die before hitting 20.
Always thought I'd have a kid at 18.
Neither happened yet.
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No.29527
since 15 or 16 my plan was that year 2020 would be my last. welp. don't know what i'm doing, just killing time until it kills me. don't see point in pretty much anything - thought i found something interesting when started reading and getting more into philosophy evenenrolled into phil uni, but after first semester realized most of the curriculum is absolute filler, dislike my classmates bcs consider myself to be superior in any possible way to them and pretty much did bare minimum to no be kicked out. still unsure whether or not continue but hell, it's not like i got anything else to do. spend all the time in front of my computer, although i substituted vidya addiction for opioids.
>>22988
this is exactly what i used to do too anon and continue to do to this date. even when i'm with someone i still imagine that i tell them something and then never actaully do tell them afterwards which used to fuck with me since i would never know whether or not i told them irl or only in my head.
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No.29535
Before I was 21, I didn't have much of a direction in life, I just was bouncing from job-to-job every year until 2018; I moved down to the southern U.S. that year and after a while, just hung out with my best friend and his family members until 2020 when his douchey tranny gf finally convinced us to fucking move into an apartment, which days later afterwards, becomes unbearable to be around. Over three months ago, I ended up cutting them out of my life and said fuck 'em. I had to because of an argument about the lease and me moving out and how I was treated like a child by them… now I'm down to two friends; ironically, it's my best friend's cousins, the best people I've ever met and they let me stay with them until I got my house. Ever since then, everything has been all right, although I am thinking about going back to college again and this time I will go straight to tutoring for math because that really fucked me up.
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No.29549
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No.29552
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No.29553
>>22988
I do that too, I talk to myself all the time alone or if i ever do go for a walk of to the supermarket sometimes, out loud
sometimes pretending situations that never happen, like im talking to the person
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No.29557
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No.29615
>>2750
Remember to do it with a firebomb at your local FBI Field Office, anon. Make them hurt. Make them cry. Make them understand the truth of Eternal Misery.
That's what I'm going to do when it's finally time on my end. I'll make the world bleed and cry just as I have.
Ashes and Echoes
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No.29710
>>2579
Always thought I would have been dead a year ago. Every year it changes to last year. "Damn, I thought I would have croaked by now, I'm already X years old!" It's like I'm only here to suffer.
The worst part is I can't seem to make up my mind for shit. I've spent so long studying computer science but now I want to study physics… I'm seriously a lost soul at this point.
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