No.15851
Time to get transported to another world.
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No.15852
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No.15853
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No.15854
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No.15855
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No.15856
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No.15857
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No.15858
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No.15860
>>15851
Poor use of space, and the text needs more contrast. Come back when this has been brought under twenty pages and we'll see about it.
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No.15864
Really bad. Feels like it was written by a woman. Art is horrible. No hook.
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No.15865
>>15851
I can see that you're trying to style it like a CYOA book where you flip to different pages, but it's not working here. This badly needs a v1.1.
The large empty spaces make this atrociously long for no reason. There's seven pages where almost half the page is empty. Repeating images for the header of each section that's longer than one page isn't doing you any favors either.
The text could use an opaque bubble behind it. The transparent layer between the text and the background makes it hard to view the text and the background, making the text barely legible and the background pointless.
There's probably other gripes, but I'm not reading this mess as is. It would probably be worth checking out once fixed.
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No.15867
>>15865
The benefit of the large repeating images is that they are visible in icon form. You can tell which pages go to which "classes" by matching the image next to the class with the image at the top of the page, the latter of which is big enough in icon form to do so with. I think that as long as the CYOA is going to remain at a large number of pages, the header image is helpful enough to keep in.
There are lots of things besides that that need improvement though graphically. Cutting out the wasted space and reducing the size of the option images, lettering, and line spacing would all improve readability in addition to reducing overall size. Additionally, even beyond pure size the graphic design work is pretty bad, especially in that many of the images are improperly stretched or squished. Always, ALWAYS keep images in their original ratio. Shrinking is fine (avoid enlarging though), but if it's 4:3 originally it has to stay 4:3. To change the dimensions, you can only crop or letterbox.
Anyway, graphics aside I'm not that thrilled with the content either. It's just a huge kitchen sink fantasy where everything is ridiculous and nothing really fits together, which doesn't really leave much room for an actual life. The setup implies that people like you are a common occurrence here, and the worst thing to deal with in an especially overpowered CYOA is other CYOA players, real pvp or implied makes no difference.
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No.15884
First I looked at the number of pages and thought: "Holy crap, this is huge!"
Then I realized most of it is spaces between text that was professionally spanned to take as much space with as little information as possible. I wonder if the author's main source of income is writing term works for less-than-diligent students?…
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No.15885
Reading this on an imageboard (at least) allows for only two browsing modes: "way too tiny", with only barely being able to tell which icon is the one you're looking for (provided you remember the exact look and where to look for it), and "in your face", with being able to fit three options on screen at most. And there's what, fourty pages of this?…
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No.15886
>>15885
There's a third option. Open the image than zoom out (ctrl+scroll down). I recommend doing it in another tab. Turns out that the CYOA is perfectly readable at 25% zoom.
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