No.13688 [Last50 Posts]
Remember when CYOAs were about feeling bad, not good? Well now you can
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No.13689
>>13688
Whatever sinks your boat
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No.13690
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No.13691
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No.13692
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No.13693
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No.13694
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No.13695
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No.13696
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No.13698
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No.13699
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No.13700
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No.13701
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No.13702
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No.13703
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No.13704
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No.13705
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No.13706
And that's about all I have. Dwell in your misery, fun-hater
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No.13707
CYOAs are too often about feeling bad.
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No.13718
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No.13719
>>13707
Or running away, or being an OP vydia gaem caracter XDDD.
I miss the older ones, with defined setting and rational limitations and potential. Like those where you are an overlord or mage or warband leader. Or in another worlds, before the CYOA bussiness became flooded with soy.
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No.13720
>>13689
I would press the second pic so hard i would break my pointer finger
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No.13722
>the idea of it
wake up. Those things can only be earned, not merely given. Wake up!
>elf bullying
remind her. Look, my lifespan is 10% of yours at best. Don't waste what time we do have pushing me away.
>nightmare waifu
bowels of the earth. just keep going forward, forward, forward…
I'll take the leviathan, I always wanted to live by the sea.
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No.13723
>>13718
>Lonely Curse
<Imprisonment: Divination & Illusion
I can view other places and project an illusion avatar so I can interact with others sort of like playing a game, but cannot be there. Also free video games and other entertainment.
<Shapechange x2, Split, Gluttony
Food is so basic it is easy to entertain oneself forever with it. Shapechange*2 + split has potential and I need the touch. Shapechange has the practical use of a new and superior body so long as it is within human limits. It isn't only for vanity. Split has combat potential which I need.
Looks like a drastic improvement to me and I'm doing an important job keeping the world safe so I can feel great about myself.
I might have done this one on this board before, or I might have considered it.
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No.13725
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No.13726
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No.13727
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No.13728
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No.13730
>>13688
<Remember when CYOAs were about feeling bad?
>You get a wife that loves you and is perfect and she says she loves you and she'll always be faithful and she has all of your fetishes and will do anything you want and is a perfect cook and cleans your house and tells you how much she loves you every day and she always smells nice and is perfectly clean and can teleport to your side when you want her but maybe she doesn't REALLY love you?? you'll never know
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No.13731
>>13723
>Hotel California
>VIP Service
Fuck yeah. Living in the lap of luxury. As if I'd leave my room at night anyways.
>Gaming
>Letter
Now I get to shitpost on here (text only but whateva) while living in my fucking luxury suite.
Sorry, what was the downside again?
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No.13732
>>13692
bully CYOA
student leader
+6
activities: humiliation -1
goal: love -1
perks: be the girl-1, strenght-1, Lucky-1, rich-1, charming-1
drawback: marriage +1
girl: chi
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No.13746
>>13688
I'll have to go with Terminator. Predator was tempting for the immortality but the supplementary powers aren't all that potent, and existing as a passive parasite who would be easy to kill if found out sounds like a dreary existence. Terminator would be a lot more fun.
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No.13749
>>13689
>Fake flute
the one that made the flute keeps the flute
>Button cyoa
sure, i should have enough memories saved in my pictures and notes
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No.13762
>>13692
Cannibalism one seems too easy? Eat esper first week using docs double food get rescued collect 4.5 mill.
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No.13763
>>13762
>>13700
Oh shit nevermind. Eat esper without doubling then thief. 4mill is better than 2.25 and perforated dick. As for her I don't want some hellspawn gf and as for the prince I don't want to rule a country that sounds too stressful.
lewd the loli but sweetly
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No.13764
>>13763
Oh and I also get Daru's shekels so 5 mill. I briefly considered killing the soldier but 1 year in jail isn't so bad when the doctor is going to make immortality juice and he seems like a bro.
And yes I just triple posted suck my dick.
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No.13765
>>13689
Fuck child A, Marry child B, Kill child C.
Button: No. Why would I die to give some other asshole a perfect body.
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No.13783
>>13730
Not everyone is okay with living a lie, anon. You're aware that she's just an actress trained to say "yes" to everything. I'm not okay with any of that, but maybe you are and so that's the option for you to take.
I'm not sure if I'd take Hero, Innocent, or Magician. I don't mind the challenge Hero presents and getting cool superpowers is a nice bonus. If I end up dying, well, I did my best. Innocent seems like it would get old after a while, but that's just assuming that I mentally keep my current age. If I have the mind of a kid and accept life as it comes it wouldn't be so bad. Magician is very exploitable if you just go full hermit and emerge to hang around people who are assholes for a while.
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No.13784
>>13698
Today I will remind her by
>Giving Frosty some christmas cheer
>Talking about the gross things
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No.13785
Pic is roughly how I picture the average 8chan browser's reaction to being presented with monkey paw/tough choice CYOAs.
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No.13787
>>13689
>4 children
I wonder what the shitty edit you(?) shittily UN-edited had to say. I bet child D was a capitalist who paid B to make the flute and it's all some kind of Communist thing.
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No.13791
>>13785
If that's not the reaction, the CYOA is a failure. All CYOAs should result in a net-positive or else there's no reason to play them in the first place. Hobson's choice is always an option, take it or leave it. If "leave it" is better than your whole CYOA is pointless.
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No.13792
>>13787
Check the filename.
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No.13794
>>13792
Right, I was just waiting for this. Thank you. Well, obviously the legshark. There's no reason to steal the flute from the maker in the first place without consent, but since you already have: The fucking legshark, he's a legshark and without his laser he's powerless.
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No.13810
>>13689
>Robot salvage cyoa
Pretty bad
>Yun-Seo
>Buying radiation pills and a food barrel
>I have "debt" for a home
No, a group of currently raiders is shaking down the town and I needed more supplies before I could sneak away.
>Enough is enough!
I'm going to burn through most of my pills exploring No Man's Land for android combat models. I need more power before I can taks back my supplies from the raiders.
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No.13845
>>13791
That's an excellent way to phrase it.
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No.13851
>>13783
>You're aware that she's just an actress trained to say "yes" to everything
I'm also aware that having a free super-maid is a net benefit with no downsides.
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No.13855
>>13725
>using Cyrillic as a replacement for Latin letters
I know it's basically an old shitty meme that is at least as old as C&C Red Alert, but whose fucking idea was it to put this into a CYOA where you are supposed to read, immerse, think and choice?
Has he not realized that it is incredibly repulsive and laughable?
This is the true depressive CYOA of this thread solely because of that, even more depressive than the "salvage your gynoid" one from the first posts.
Do you want know how these word abominations would be pronounced?
>(making a fucking soft sign as a word's first letter? you fucking what?)ch empeyafya-sndi
>tne edsteyai fyafit
>sfviet ciifi
>yaed dyamch iifdityach
>fyafit liie tyaffrs
>sfissyairt
>reidl (a fucking soft sign at the beginning of a word again)dttdlifi
>snfck tyaffrs
>gcdrds yaifle divsifi
That CYOA is really good if you ignore this, though.
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No.13861
>>13855
The author's south asian.
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No.13869
>>13690
wife: defective body(doesn't meet my ideals even if she is not perfect i can find her sexy and beautiful), defective hygiene, defective intelligence(more intelligent than me? good), perfect social skills, perfect sex life, perfect devotion, perfect interests
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No.13874
>>13869
>having a slut daughteru
Why, namefag?
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No.13881
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No.13883
>>13881
You really should lurk more if you think that adding -fag to a word is an insult that you should be anyhow concerned about.
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No.13893
>>13883
You, yourself, should lurk more. The continual use of the suffix may confuse you into thinking it carries no contempt, but this is a mistake. Something-fags are still fags and we still hate them. It's just the generic, background-radiation kind of malice.
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No.13895
>>13893
No, the other anon is right. Anons taking the internet seriously enough to have malice behind it is recent with everything going to shit.
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No.13905
>>13690
Daughter with Defective Social Skills and Defective Sex Life, Flawless everything else, vice versa for wife. Let the Extreme Electra Complex play out:
Have her outsmart my wife to obtain evidence of my wife cheating.
divorce my wife, avoid alimony rape thanks to help from genius daughter and good lawyer.
Send my daughter to therapy, while still reassuring her that I love her and care for her.
Flawless victory.
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No.13912
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No.13982
>>13912
Batshit because being an invincible ax crazy sadomasochist sounds fun
Reflexive; I'm not crazy about seizures but twitching sounds worthwhile for agility.
Weird; mental abilities are always useful but I don't really want to be completely disconnected from physical reality.
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No.13989
>>13912
Weird, I'm already mostly there anyway and have some minor visual synesthesia. Adding a bit more isn't a big deal at this point. And I guess Impulsive since I already prod people for funny reactions. Guess I already have brain damage, but at least now I get more out of it.
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No.13994
>>13706
Royalty is basically being emperor of the world if you talk to enough people. I choose that.
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No.13996
>>13895
This attitude has never been quite right. The internet has always been serious business. The reason it is, was and will forever also be "srs bsns" is because of that. There has always been the "lol ur gay" crowd and the "Autismus Maximus" crowd. We exist coherently together and always have. Ergo when someone is called a fag, they are simultaneously being and not being insulted.
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No.14183
>>13996
Ever since the DARPA days the srs bsns tribe has been at war with the lol ur gay tribe.
The numbers have gone up and down in time, but the truth is that when the battle for the cyberspace is wrought only one side will survive. So make your pick, young cybertraveller:
lol ur gay:
Ever since Eternal September has come into cyberspace, using its greater numbers to shitpost their enemy to oblivion. Reading through the spelling mitakes you can make out their purpose: to have hedonistic fun and just be free.
>can't take anything seriously
>can't do the real feats of engineering and technological prowess that the srs bsns tribe can, overall member motivation or know-how is lower
>is obscured by anonymousness, their dox doesn't exist, identity is fluid
>commands hordes of shitposting normies, but at the cost of gaining coolness in their eyes. In time, the sekret klub url will get leaked and they will be forced to seek another one
>can only be trolled in philosophical debate if it gets to the core nihilism
Serious Business:
When the cyberspace was formless, they were already here. They were the pioneers, who built the first systems. This is not to diminsh the other side's feats, which aren't completely useless. At the beginning many of this crowd defected, once generational turnover made the older ways get somewhat fuzzy and the dotcom boom happened.
>compelled to use his real name and dox on his posts
>lower quantity but higher quality
>great discussion, but focused
>most of this tribe are of a technical background, but there has been quite an influx in the last 12 years from people in many other areas, even normal people
>appeal to identity means normies are okay with them, attacks on srs soil will have to be done by increasing the coolness of their turf to the eyes of the normies
>depending on turf this can be easy (movie discussion can easily be co-opted since normies WILL think they can into it) or hard (try reading the latest, driest essay on physics algorithms just to be able to chip in the conversation, I dare you)
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No.14236
>>14183
>lol ur gay
If everything is going to be terrible, I might as well be anonymous in it. How else will I survive the wrath of the blue checkmarks? Even if one becomes as them, they feast on their own in mad banquets. Let us cling together until our homelands are truly lost and we take our final walks into the great wilderness outside our basements and perhaps even the mysterious door beyond.
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No.14375
>>13702
>Medrano
lust focus
wrath focus
>Krone
psychology
social manipulation
>Vargas
Card manipulation
prestidigitation
>Oz
Puppeteer
Jester
stats:
lust and wrath - 3 (assuming starting point is 1)
influence: 10
tactics: 10
secrecy: 2
bravery: 1
confidents:
Krone, Vargas, Oz
>ascend to paradiso
>temple of chastity
corrupt. rolled 1d20, got 18.
18+10+3= 31. success.
>tabernacle of temperance
appeal to sense of justice.
rolled, got 15.
15+50 = 65. success.
>chateau of charity
Tempt. rolled, got 16. keep them honest gives +1. 17+20+2= 39. success.
>den of diligence (+1 E)
criticise. rolled, got 11. fold. rolled again, got 13. 13+10+8 = 31. success.
>prairie of patience
Inflame. rolled, got 12. keep them honest adds +1. 13+9+10 = 32. success.
>keep of kindness
Ask politely. rolled 20.
>haven of humility
Idolise. rolled, got 17. 17+10+10+13-10 = 40. success.
high twin gods (+1 E)
Reject. rolled, got 15. 15+10+8 = 33. success! (active skill is bullshit and broken and i'm omitting it)
so we successfully fucked up heaven, this can only mean good things, right?
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No.15185
>>13693
Catacombs CYOA
Going full combat here. I will shake the Catacombs to their very foundation.
>Environments
>Labyrinth
<Warrior Spirit
I get the impression that combat prowess will be very useful in the trials to come.
>District
>The Wall
<Combat Training
To further increase combat ability. In addition, knowing how to get in and out of the city unnoticed is sure to come in handy.
>Eyes
>Glowing Eyes
Increase ability to see underground, and even illuminate areas for others. Only drawback is increased visibility, but with my combat prowess I should be able to handle any attention I draw. Wasn't planning on being stealthy anyway.
>Enhanced Senses
>Sensitive Ears
Underground, sound carries a long way. Plus the increased spatial awareness may be useful in combt, allowing me to hear and dodge strikes without even seeing them.
>Equipment
>Canvas Backpack
For obvious reasons.
>Tough Suit
For combat.
>Jerky
Also for combat.
>Curiousities
>Ragged Mantle
Leadership and Visibility are useful down here.
>Tattoo
>Strength
You've probably noticed a pattern by now…
>Companions
>Barker
His geomancy will be useful exploring the caves, and he will be an asset in combat.
>Grace
Skilled survivalist and combatant. Fits right in.
>Others
>The Baron
Sounds like I could take him out without much trouble and win a few favors around town.
>Strategies
>Long Excursions
I plan to delve deep and find the greatest treasures, and maybe something more.
>Challenges
>The Living
With my combat abilities I'm not too worried about them. And when I defeat the Baron and start bringing back treasures from my long excursions, they should at least tolerate me.
>Objective
>Brave New Worlds
First I will conquer the catacombs, then the worlds beyond.
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No.15186
>>13725
>hard choices
>Nazi or Commie
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No.15188
>>14183
>Serious Business
I will matter.
You will not.
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No.15190
>>13688
I'm going with the predator. It's basically just a vampire, except you can shapeshift as well. Most of the time I'll sate my hunger by drinking only small quantities of blood, so as not to kill anybody.
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No.16762
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