No.402023 [Last50 Posts]
Anyone else feels like they don't belong to any gender? Or experience mild or severe genital dysphoria where they just want a flat front, without any features?
____________________________
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No.402026
I love /cuteboy/ and wish I was one but I just can't look the part. I love /fit/ muscle guys and wish I was one but I just can't look the part. I want to look like a girl and be girly, I want to look like a man and be manly.
Existence is pain.
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No.402027
>>402023
I thought about this a number of years ago, and I suppose I went through a lot of the same kinds of thoughts you maybe had.
Eventually I came to conclude that I was just trans, and that even if I don't make myself look overly girly, I just don't like my physical state, and I would want to change a lot.
About 3 years ago, I knew I wanted to get rid of my testicles and I knew I disliked using my dick to pee. I guess things like hair loss and a lot of body hair growth really made me realise a lot more stuff about myself.
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No.402028
>>402027
i am like 99,8% sure im not trans, given the fact that i had major gynecomastia, like 6 month hrt tier, and it caused me major distress and body dysphoria until i got them removed.
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No.402029
People need to stop obsessing about how they personally feel about their own appearance.
Your appearance is for the benefit of other people. It doesn't even slightly matter if you personally find yourself unattractive, as long as you can find at least one other person who is attracted to you.
Nobody looks at themselves in the mirror and thinks "yeah, I want to fuck that" (unless they're a narcissist)
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No.402030
>>402029
>Transgebders only dislike what gender they were born as because they think they're ugly.
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No.402031
>>402030
Holy shit did I just write transgebder?
God damnit. Why do typos have to ruin a man's credibility? Fuck this, I'm jumping out the window.
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No.402032
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No.402033
>>402030
Sure, you can rephrase it in a reductive way, but even that strawman seems pretty close to the truth.
Trans people are unhappy with their appearance, and while attempting to make themselves feel better about it, they end up making their body less attractive to other people. Thereby achieving the opposite of any worthwhile goal.
>>402032
>i disagree, u r dum ape
See, I can rephrase stuff too
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No.402034
>>402033
Your whole point is "being attractive to someone is THE worthwhile goal". Neutrosis almost always comes coupled with asexuality/aromanticality. Shown by not wanting sexual parts. See where im going?
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No.402036
>>402033
Also notice im not even mentioning the fact that you are completely ignoring the medical condition know as dysphoria, a condition that was established even further back than good old electroshock-lobotomy for everything days of psychology, and never even been remotely challenged.
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No.402037
>>402034
That there's even less reason for you to give a shit about how you look?
In case that wasn't where you were going, can I guess again? Maybe "I don't care how attractive other people find me, so therefore it's logical to obsess over my appearance and/or permanently chop my dick off".
>>402036
I assume it was a doctor who diagnosed you with this medical condition?
If you want, we can assume that instead of "unhappy with their appearance", I said "very, very unhappy with their appearance", which would match the definition of dysphoria in this context.
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No.402038
>>402033
>Trans people are unhappy with their appearance, and while attempting to make themselves feel better about it, they end up making their body less attractive to other people. Thereby achieving the opposite of any worthwhile goal.
For trans people, the main objective is to alleviate dysphoria. This can be done with a number of different ways, but I'm not going to go down that route.
I canreally only speak for myself, but when it comes to making myself feel more at ease with myself, I just want to get rid of masculine body aspects. I feel disgusted by it, and it feels disturbing. I don't really feel "female", but I do not want to be "male". But it's not simply appearance, I'm more disgusted by certain…. bodily functions. Things like MPB and body/facial hair really did disgust me, and other aspects, like the function of genitals and so on, as well as things like skin and so on, they just make me feel like some disgusting piece of crap. Even hair is something i just feel sad and disappointed by, simply by how it just dries so quickly and a lot of it seems to become like pubic hair instead of the softer, gentle curls I had in my teens.
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No.402039
>>402037
lets get back to what you said
>>402033
>Trans people are unhappy with their appearance, and while attempting to make themselves feel better about it, they end up making their body less attractive to other people.
A) "they end up making their body less attractive to other people." is at worst an unfortunate side effect, never the main goal
B) I said at worst because that is totally your opinion on trans people, there are people see trans bodies in no different light than cis people, and there are people who specifically go crazy for trans bodies (see the term : chasers)
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No.402040
>>402038
i get you, i started having these thoughts with the signs of MPB and body hair too. Are you taking and kind of HRT, as a way of achieving chemical castration?
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No.402041
>>402040
>Are you taking and kind of HRT
Since I live with my parents, this is not something I've managed to sort out. Since I have graduated from university, I do want to move away, but I need to sort out my own personal life and get a job.
I am, however, taking Finasteride, since that was much easier to obtain (over the counter) and hide from my parents. I'm not sure if Finasteride has really changed much for me though. The label warns that it might cause impotence, infertility and breast growth, but I don't care about any of that.
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No.402042
>>402038
>I just want to get rid of masculine body aspects. I feel disgusted by it, and it feels disturbing.
This sounds worryingly similar to the following:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Body_integrity_dysphoria
I'd argue that chopping off a limb wouldn't be an ideal solution in the above case. And the article seems to agree, for different reasons:
> there are case reports that BID persisted even after amputation
The fact that "dysphoria" is a medical condition at all seems to be a self-fulfilling prophecy. If someone convinces themselves that their "disgust" is unavoidable, and just a natural, baked-in property of their brain, then that makes them less capable of reasoning themselves out of it.
There's a "main objective" even higher than alleviating the dysphoria, which is "to feel happy about life in general". Something like 40% of trans people kill themselves after transitioning, which indicates that it's not a good solution.
(and no, I'm not arguing that society's reaction isn't at least partially responsible for that, or that society shouldn't change. Whatever the cause, it seems like it just doesn't work)
>>402039
You've slickly evaded literally everything I said there, but okay…
> there are people who specifically go crazy for trans bodies (see the term : chasers)
I'm well aware, but having read many threads on the subject, most trans people seem to be disgusted by the idea of chasers, and would only want someone to see them as any other member of their identified gender.
(one might even say that they have chaser-dysphoria :))
> there are people see trans bodies in no different light than cis people
These people are (sadly, I guess) an extreme minority.
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No.402043
>>402041
finasteride shouldnt cause any significant libido decrease, im on cyproterone and i kinda love every second of it, non existent sex drive and slowed down body hair growth and such. I thought there were some online gray pharmacys available in europe? have you checked them?
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No.402044
>>402042
You are pretty obnoxious in this thread. It's pretty clear that you hate trans people, and don't care about them, so I'm not going to argue with you anymore. There's absolutely no way you understand what dysphoria is, or what makes it different from body dysmorphia, which is a completely different condition.
>>402043
> I thought there were some online gray pharmacys available in europe? have you checked them?
My main issues are that I'm not out to my parents (in any way, they once went crazy when they suspected I might have been gay when I was 17, I'm bi anyway, but I don't want any unpleasant reactions), and also that it's not quite as easy to order some of this stuff. There is one Portugese based thing, but my main issue is receiving packages. I can get finasteride delivered to a post office next day, I can't get cypro or e in a post office next day though.
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No.402045
>>402042
>You've slickly evaded literally everything I said there, but okay…
i didn't, its just very taxing to explain every single angle. You can figure many of these points out using just a little bit of mental power.
>Something like 40% of trans people kill themselves after transitioning
Are you sure you have the right correlation-causation. YSK that LGB people are like -i dont remember- 60% more likely to be depressed. Do you think this is caused by LGB people being LGB, or environments historically highly unjust reaction to LGB people.
Similarly, trans people could have higher suicide rates not -directly- because they are trans, rather because they weren't satisfied with the surgery results or whatever.
Oh, by the way, if you hadn't realized, you've been slickly routing this conversation to MtF and FtM transition, from MtN and FtN. Different concepts. First requires a big leap across the secondary sex characteristics spectrum, latter requires only a nudge towards the middle. Results will vary wildly.
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No.402046
>>402044
>It's pretty clear that you hate trans people, and don't care about them
That's not true, and it's sad that any discussion of the subject is classed as "hatred".
>different from body dysmorphia, which is a completely different condition
The condition I linked was "Body integrity dysphoria", which has the word "dysphoria" in the name.
>I'm not going to argue with you anymore
Fine, I'm not looking to force anyone into a discussion.
>>402045
>environments historically highly unjust reaction to LGB people
I said this in my comment. See "and no, I'm not arguing that society's reaction isn't at least partially responsible for that, or that society shouldn't change"
>rather because they weren't satisfied with the surgery results or whatever
Again, this was literally my point… If the results are so unsatisfactory, then it's not a good solution.
>you've been slickly routing this conversation to MtF and FtM transition, from MtN and FtN
I was responding to >>402030 and >>402038, which were talking about trans people. You're not the only person in the thread.
>>402043
>shouldnt cause any significant libido decrease
>non existent sex drive
libido = sex drive
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No.402047
>>402046
There is like at most 4 people in this thread rn,
>which were talking about trans people
neutrosis is trans, and >>402038 is making the exact same point with me.
>>shouldnt cause any significant libido decrease
>>non existent sex drive
>libido = sex drive
learn to read FFS, this the last (you) youll receive from me
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No.402048
>>402047
>learn to read FFS
The irony…
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No.402050
>>402033
Anon you shouldn't be mean. I don't think you're an idiot. Just misinformed. It isn't entirely appearance based.
Gender goes down to the core. That's the linkage between gender and sex, they're both tied. My gender does not match either sex, and as I have a physical body in entirety, I experience extreme discomfort.
And that doesn't cover outward appearances. It isn't just soft skin, tiny cock. You're stuck with the chemicals of a man, the voice and brain of a man. It strikes deep into your mind.
The struggles we face with body dysmorphia are real. If you've ever been upset with being too fat, or too skinny, you understand and have felt the same thing. It isn't just a dissatisfaction with the appearance, but how it effects your mind.
Remember, it's a mental, not a physical disorder.
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No.402051
I meant to say dysphoria, not dysmorphia. I'm very sorry
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No.402052
>>402023
tbh most of the time I dont think im human (ofc not literally, im not that far gone yet) but im pretty ok with my dick, I just dont want anyone touching it
no fags allowed tbh :p
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No.402053
>>402045
>Oh, by the way, if you hadn't realized, you've been slickly routing this conversation to MtF and FtM transition, from MtN and FtN
>MtN
>FtN
I don't know what this is but it sounds fundamentally unhealthy. All jokes aside I hope you seek professional help before doing anything rash.
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No.402054
>>402050
>It isn't entirely appearance based.
Sure, I'm using "appearance" in the sense of "how you physically present yourself to the outside world", so I'm more than happy to include voice, odor, and so on in that.
>brain of a man
This seems like a contradiction though. I'm assuming here that "mind = brain", but maybe there are some philosophical dualists out there :)
>The struggles we face with body dysmorphia are real. If you've ever been upset with being too fat, or too skinny
I don't doubt that you feel immense discomfort/dissatisfaction with your body.
What I doubt is that making physical changes to your body (specifically ones which reduce your attractiveness to other people and turn you into a social pariah) will help with the overall goal of making your life happy.
Hopefully nobody's taking advice from the OP, who has almost certainly self-diagnosed an imaginary problem, is abusing cancer drugs to "fix" it, and is now pushing those drugs on others (>>402043).
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No.402072
>>402054
>specifically ones which reduce your attractiveness to other people and turn you into a social pariah)
If your talking about trans people who dont pass then sure. But the ones that dont pass is because guess what. because of Masculine features of which are not meant to be cute ever. Those are the only ones making themselves unattractive because a person with masculine features that transitions will look revolting because of masculine features.
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No.402075
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No.402078
>>402072
If the post-transition suicide rate is 40%, then the number who pass must be quite low.
If having masculine features automatically makes you unattractive, then how is it that the vast majority of women, and a percentage of gay men, are attracted to them?
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No.402080
>>402072
>>402078
And to be clear, I agree that non-passing trans people are that way because they have a "blend" of masculine and feminine features. But that's all the more reason not to transition.
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No.402095
>>402075
It sucks doesn't it? I heard about this "gender fluid" identity and I think that might be it. I don't know about that stuff. I don't like All that LGBTABCDEFG shit, I just want to suck a dick.
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No.402106
>Come into an agender thread
>It's actually about becoming nullos
Oh look, people confusing sex and gender again. What a surprise!
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No.402108
>>402078
Masculine features are attractive to women but somebody with masculine features who transitions is going to be unattractive because of their masculine features.
Which is why the trans suicide attempt rate is that high because of not passing. In order for a trans person to pass they can't have facial features that conflict with the gender their transitioning to.
Plus ill change that a bit, masculine features are not cute.
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No.402112
>>402078
>If the post-transition suicide rate is 40%
That was from a 40 year old research paper which is now colloquially known as "The Swedish Study".
It's mostly quoted by /pol/, but it has since been debunked. The mistake it made was "lifetime suicide attempts", which included suicide attempts pre-transition.
Since then, it's been proven that transition actually helps trans people become happier with who they are. Most trans people live happy, stable lives after transition.
Numbers on trans people passing are never accurate, since once a trans person passes, you don't know they're trans. Combined with the fact that many trans people go "stealth" (i.e. will not out themselves, and often move to a new area, where people have not known them previously), the people who are either public about transitioning (like Jenner) and non-passers become known.
Since you can only "clock" non-passers IRL, you have no idea how many people you've seen IRL are actually trans, but pass to the point where you can't tell. The panic about trans people in the last few years has, hilariously, lead to a number of cis women being kicked out of public toilets because someone "clocked" them.
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No.402113
>>402112
People were talking about gay suicide rate in the 1990s as a reason that people should just stop being gay.
http://people.ucalgary.ca/~ptrembla/homosexuality-suicide/construction/b0-male-youth-suicide-increase.htm
Instead of people 'stopping being gay' that caused the numbers to drop it was societal acceptance that made the numbers drop.
https://www.thedailybeast.com/study-teen-suicide-rates-down-after-gay-marriage-legalization
Gay marriage legalization was a top down event since support of gay marriage was a barometer for gay acceptance.
TLDR: high suicide attempt rates are due to societal discrimination and not something thats inherent to being gay OR trans
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No.402114
>>402113
The suicide rate still scares me though. If I ever try to transition I don't want to do something to hurt myself :c
I'm happy to find out that it's mostly debunked though. Thanks anon
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No.402115
>>402114
Oops! Second part was meant for >>402112
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No.402118
>>402114
>If I ever try to transition I don't want to do something to hurt myself :c
If you decide to transition, especially since you live in the US, you could just "boymode".
Don't repress, because all it means is that you will end up "cracking" at an older age, when your body is far less flexible.
It is an informed decision you need to make, but just remember that inaction could hurt you even more.
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No.402119
>>402118
Ok. I'll keep that in mind. Thanks, hon <3
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No.402178
>>402108
No, the suicide rate is that high because body dysphoria is an OCD disorder than can never actually be "fixed" by indulging in the obsession. Most of the time a person who transitions expects to be turned into some kind of ideal being, and when the hormones and surgery do not change that they are still disgusted by themselves in the mirror, they realize it was all for nothing.
>>402113
>Gay marriage legalization was a top down event since support of gay marriage was a barometer for gay acceptance
This is bullshit. Gay marriage being allowed is because of the government twisting people's arms into allowing it, not because the people actually want it. For the most part the majority still wants to lynch anyone with a "deviant" sexuality. Homophobia has actually been in the increase in many countries for the last few years.
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No.402215
>>402095
It does anon; I still want to be cute and girly but I'm just too fucking old so I embraced the dude in me and started working out, but after 2 years I've bulked too hard and now I just have giant arms and a shitty dad-bod gut instead of getting the otter body I wanted. I weighed less than 100 lbs in highschool and I squandered my trap window because I was too embarrassed to take pictures or order very many cute clothes. Sometimes I'll leave the gym with a pump and feel great, but the next morning I'll look in the mirror and wish I was 10 years younger and 50 lbs skinnier again. Growing up fucking sucks, feels like doors are closing on me every day and my path for life is set.
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No.402221
>>402178
>Gay marriage being allowed is because of the government twisting people's arms into allowing it, not because the people actually want it. For the most part the majority still wants to lynch anyone with a "deviant" sexuality. Homophobia has actually been in the increase in many countries for the last few years.
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No.402222
>>402023
Yeah when I went through a phase when I was 13
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No.402248
>>402221
If your flag is legit, you're practically within pissing distance of Russia (or what will be Russia in due time, anyway). Why don't you tell me how things are over in the less-civilized half of Europe?
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No.402270
>>402248
>you're practically within pissing distance of Russia
This is the result of the American Education System, folks!
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No.402306
>>402023
I did went through this kind of thoughts at some point during the "pseudo-dysphoria" phase I had for six months or so. Personal opinion here, linked to personal experiences and the reasoning I built out of them, but I found it out to be linked to the silly, believed-to-be-transcendent-and-general but yet variable in time, personal and contingent view I have on gender. Like, basically having some kinds of thoughts about myself or whatever that I perceived as "feminine" for some reason made me unconfortable and leaded me to long periods of distress. This set of mind logically leaded me to reinforce on myself what I percieved as "masculine" but a lot of times, I ended up to feel pretty much as unconfortable with it as the "feminine" parts.
Later, instead of denying myself and forcing such alienated narratives on my thoughts, I tried to begin to simply think myself outside the clichés. Still a boy/man but outside the silly clichés I forced on myself, and all the "pseudo-dysphoria" and weird unspeakable thoughts slowly started to vanish, even the discomfort I started to feel about my own body (I never really felt direct discomfort towards my genitals, even if I did wanted my dick not to be here from time to time). I continued thinking about what I had experienced and I'm pretty sure that it was all linked to the fact I was strongly growing up homosexual at the time and also entering sexuality. This kind of periods, I think, just compells you to re-think your very own being, as a day-to-day set of thoughts, and re-adapt to new contexts. Like the thoughts about your genitals : very linked to what you make out of them sexually.
It took me a lot of time to strengthen these opinions, I'm not completely sure that it's the truth and it's still strongly linked to my particular experience in life, and I don't want to force a narrative on people. But I hope that these could help you. A turning point for me was the time I read some random MtF person on the internet complaining that she wanted to be a girl somehow but at the same time strongly regretted the time me she was a gay he being gay with boys. It just crossed my mind that this person was forcing on oneself alienating narratives, convinced that the feminity and masculinity stuff was something transcendant and yet not realizing that these ideas in one mind were strongly contingent, leading to an absurd conflict with oneself, that has pretty much no answer.
In short : gender is a necessary fiction, just make it more like your own fiction and you could feel better and become more free.
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No.402311
>>402306
Maybe I could add an example to try to clarify my point : very trivial, like the way I could describe my dick. When I was in deep discomfort, anxiety attacks and mad thoughts, I was simply unable to think about my dick in a personal way. It was all about "how it should be", and the only available thoughts I could find about dicks, and that therefor became canons and even realities as I was trying to compensate my own Anomie (just check this concept out, damn passionating), were the manly stuff. And the manly stuff leaded me to even more confused feelings as I couldn't recognize this as my own being. And so on and so forth, absurd, alienating thoughts.
Later, I started to figure out that the thoughts that crossed my mind, like what a dick was, were not facts but "opinions", that came from society, and also that these "opinions" were necessary processes, kind of fictions that I was able to appropriate. And I was able to call my dick cute for example, and even not seeing any contradiction with calling my dick cute and still feel masculine. And then I found the way to produce my own fiction and resolve what appeared to me to be clueless contradictions.
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No.402312
>>402029
>Nobody looks at themselves in the mirror and thinks "yeah, I want to fuck that" (unless they're a narcissist)
I literally do that and I'm not a narcissist, I'm just fucking hot.
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No.402339
>>402248
For starters my little brothers school doesn't do shooting drills.
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No.402451
SHUHHHHHHHHHHHHT UHHHHHHHHHP !!!!
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No.402490
>>402023
sa-mi bag pla in rasa ma-tii de distrus, gayu drq
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No.402559
>>402023
>experience mild or severe genital dysphoria where they just want a flat front, without any features?
Oh, yeah, that's actually me exactly. It's something I've vented about on other boards, but I wasn't expecting this to come up on /cuteboys/.
I wouldn't call myself "agender" per se, though. There's something that rings very hollow about gender to me, but playing along with it (and as a guy, specifically) still works just fine for me as long as we're in this world we're in.
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No.402561
>>402106
What, do you think there’s a prescribed, sacred genital layout for agender people?
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No.402562
>>402106
What, do you think there’s a prescribed, sacred genital layout for agender people and that anyone who doesn’t want it just “doesn’t count”?
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No.402564
As long as I’ve already accidentally posted twice I might as well add:
>>402106
Nice slur, by the way.
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No.402576
>>402559
which other boards, this is on the only active lgbt related board i could find on 8ch. (i cant post to 4chan in my country)
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No.402618
>>402576
It is 4chan I was talking about, actually. I don't regularly use that site, but I have just ended up lurking /trash/ a bit lately. I might as well link my posts: https://desuarchive.org/trash/thread/20460371/#20540014
>turns out I've used the exact same image here that I used a month ago there
How 'bout that.
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No.402637
>>402576
>i cant post to 4chan in my country
Try changing your DNS. Some ISPs block it, but by just switching the DNS settings on your router, you can get around content blocks. It might not work for everything, but it worked for about 98% of the time for me.
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No.402863
>>402270
Well, then chopping off part of what someone said in order to completely change the meaning must be what they teach on the other side of the pond, as you put it.
>>402339
Okay? What does that have to do with homophobia? Because if you're trying to trigger (lol) me about shootings in America, don't bother. I fucking hate it here, wish I had been born in pretty much any other developed country, and everyone here with half a goddamn brain feels that way, too.
>>402562
Not at all, it's just that being agender has nothing to do with the condition of your genitals. It's as retarded as claiming that homosexuality has anything to do with being transgender.
>Nice slur
What? Nullo? That's just what furries call it. If you're offended by it, I apologize, but will continue using it anyway just because it pisses you off.
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No.402872
Boy, this thread went to shit very, very quickly, didn't it?
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No.402911
>>402872
It was shit from the OP and only got worse from there.
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No.402915
>>402911
I do agree that it went downhill very quickly after the OP.
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No.402939
>>402863
>being agender has nothing to do with the condition of your genitals
being transgender has nothing to with condition of ones genitals too. But you wouldn't get mad at a transgender thread for talking about surgeries would you?
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No.402954
>>402939
>But you wouldn't get mad at a transgender thread for talking about surgeries would you?
It's rather common for people to confuse/conflate transgender and transexual. But this is rather different because agender isn't a condition most people are even aware of or think about. Everyone here should be using the proper terminology instead of just regressing to the mean that the common public uses when they don't know better. Or would you prefer I compose this entire post in emojis like the kids do?
Also, I would get mad because it's still wrong, but that's not the point. Don't deflect to whataboutism; it's poor debating technique.
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No.402964
>>402954
I know the difference between _sexual and _gender. Not sure if you do.
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No.402974
>>402964
Clearly you don't, if you disagree with me.
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No.403001
>>402974
you are on the offensive side, explain yourself first
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No.403033
>>402872
Note that it's simply because of one single person coming with his shitty DERPscience.pdf
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No.403049
>>403033
… I didn't make the connection of "all the posts saying the exact same things over and over again every time someone comes in trying to have an actual discussion = one person just shitting up the thread."
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No.409070
File: 0d07dea6f8bbe78⋯.jpg (Spoiler Image,1.32 MB,2934x2890,1467:1445,0d07dea6f8bbe780a5458ffdca….jpg)
File: e113fa84165eb26⋯.jpg (Spoiler Image,84.52 KB,1280x959,1280:959,e113fa84165eb26818ade3210f….jpg)
File: 0f73c6be0faecc1⋯.jpg (Spoiler Image,909.56 KB,4000x2722,2000:1361,0f73c6be0faecc183a537345ae….jpg)
I'd like to bump this thread back up because even though the thread's gone to complete shit the basic idea of it is just, well, something I really need to figure out for myself personally.
Here are lewds for the trouble.
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No.409075
>>402872
Truth is, the thread was shit from the start.
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No.409198
>>409070
The next morning after making this post I spend a long time in bed being unable to muster up the energy to get out of bed and just feeling fucked up over this gender stuff specifically. So, hey, good timing for me on that bump.
… I don't suppose anyone would have any clue about how to get started on gender therapy?
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No.409234
>>402031
don't fight it anon, embrace who you truly are. There is only one Jeb!der. (pic related)
>>409198
My impression has always been that "gender therapy" was just tiddy skittles and chopping ur pp off. Buy the former and sign up for the latter (google can probably provide more detailed instructions). I'd rather u didn't tho because women are icky and men are much better.
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No.409242
>>409234
The latter might be the long-term goal for me, but not the former. Except that I imagine I'd need to start taking testosterone supplements once the latter's happened. So there's that.
In any case, before anything else you find a therapist with whom you can discuss this stuff and ultimately with whom you can unpack everything that's going through your head about your gender. It's only once you've gone through all of that and you've reached a real conclusion with a psychological professional about what's really going on with your gender that you should actually start thinking about anything else.
With all of that said, though, I've just got no clue on how to go about actually seeking gender therapy out.
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No.409247
>>402023
I've been dealing with a lot of thoughts like that lately. I transitioned to female when I was a teen and have been living as a woman for just under two years. I pass okay as an ugly girl, which is a pretty lateral move from being an ugly guy so I'm happy with it. If you're looking hard its pretty easy to tell but starting around a year ago most people I met seemed to stop noticing.
Don't get me wrong, I'm way way way more happy as a girl than I ever was as a dude but I feel like I'm starting to circle around into another kind of dysphoria. Really, I just want to be androgynous and not have to deal with gender. That's when I've been the most happy with my body and at peace with myself. I've started deliberately trying to look as andro as possible in places where I know I'll be safe and its been eye opening. I just, like it. Its like all the pressure is taken off.
tbh I'd probably soft de-transition to agender or genderfluid or whatever but I'm worried that I'd get treated worse than when I didn't pass.
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No.409253
>>409247
>Really, I just want to be androgynous and not have to deal with gender
Yeah, this is me. I'm way happier as a guy than I'd be as a girl but, again, I'd really rather just not have to deal with gender in the first place. That's me.
Well, that coupled with some amount of crying over how my genetics thought it would be funny to weld an underwear packer to my body. There's that for me too.
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No.409254
>>409253
That really sucks gender-non-specific dude. I wish I knew how to help. I'm just as lost as you are. What keeps me going is the handful of people in my life I know I don't have to be a boy or a girl around. I can at least try and forget for a little bit.
It sounds like you're dealing with a lot more physical stuff than I am though. You ever try tucking or a gaff? I know its only a tiny band aid but it might give you a little peace of mind.
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No.414785
Hi there. I'm the dude who posted THIS >>402306 message almost one year ago, and reading myself again it's clearly stupidly obscure, and not very well-worded. But on a personal level, I think that what I said here was relevant. This kind of gender no mans land and invasive gender thoughts stem from the sole fact of being non-heterosexual and everything this typically implies. Being non-het can easily take you away from the most typical gender expectations, that are often implicitly heterosexual, and one "convenient", but not always easy way out, is to say fuck to these expectations, and make your own take on yourself. At least this worked out with me - I have no real difficulty now to feel good as a guy who likes to crossdress and be a bit submissive sometimes, and I don't feel it irremediably contradicts with my more "masculine" side. Because I said fuck to these expectations, and choose not to give a fick anymore. This worked out, I feel much better now - maybe this also has to do with the fact that I live in my own place now, and don't have to deal with the anxious idea of some motherfucker running into the room while I'm wearing some """girl""" clothes.
Anyway I hope u guys are better, and out of this nonsense. Whichever take you made upon yourself. Trully, I think that there's a large majority of these confused thoughts that directly stem from objectivable, non-gender-conforming practices. Making the point about the practices themselves is imo more self-conscious than making it some vague gender identity bullshit, that you don't really appropriate. But of course, you do you. Who am I to judge, kek.
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