No.402023 [View All]
Anyone else feels like they don't belong to any gender? Or experience mild or severe genital dysphoria where they just want a flat front, without any features?
____________________________
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No.402078
>>402072
If the post-transition suicide rate is 40%, then the number who pass must be quite low.
If having masculine features automatically makes you unattractive, then how is it that the vast majority of women, and a percentage of gay men, are attracted to them?
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No.402080
>>402072
>>402078
And to be clear, I agree that non-passing trans people are that way because they have a "blend" of masculine and feminine features. But that's all the more reason not to transition.
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No.402095
>>402075
It sucks doesn't it? I heard about this "gender fluid" identity and I think that might be it. I don't know about that stuff. I don't like All that LGBTABCDEFG shit, I just want to suck a dick.
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No.402106
>Come into an agender thread
>It's actually about becoming nullos
Oh look, people confusing sex and gender again. What a surprise!
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No.402108
>>402078
Masculine features are attractive to women but somebody with masculine features who transitions is going to be unattractive because of their masculine features.
Which is why the trans suicide attempt rate is that high because of not passing. In order for a trans person to pass they can't have facial features that conflict with the gender their transitioning to.
Plus ill change that a bit, masculine features are not cute.
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No.402112
>>402078
>If the post-transition suicide rate is 40%
That was from a 40 year old research paper which is now colloquially known as "The Swedish Study".
It's mostly quoted by /pol/, but it has since been debunked. The mistake it made was "lifetime suicide attempts", which included suicide attempts pre-transition.
Since then, it's been proven that transition actually helps trans people become happier with who they are. Most trans people live happy, stable lives after transition.
Numbers on trans people passing are never accurate, since once a trans person passes, you don't know they're trans. Combined with the fact that many trans people go "stealth" (i.e. will not out themselves, and often move to a new area, where people have not known them previously), the people who are either public about transitioning (like Jenner) and non-passers become known.
Since you can only "clock" non-passers IRL, you have no idea how many people you've seen IRL are actually trans, but pass to the point where you can't tell. The panic about trans people in the last few years has, hilariously, lead to a number of cis women being kicked out of public toilets because someone "clocked" them.
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No.402113
>>402112
People were talking about gay suicide rate in the 1990s as a reason that people should just stop being gay.
http://people.ucalgary.ca/~ptrembla/homosexuality-suicide/construction/b0-male-youth-suicide-increase.htm
Instead of people 'stopping being gay' that caused the numbers to drop it was societal acceptance that made the numbers drop.
https://www.thedailybeast.com/study-teen-suicide-rates-down-after-gay-marriage-legalization
Gay marriage legalization was a top down event since support of gay marriage was a barometer for gay acceptance.
TLDR: high suicide attempt rates are due to societal discrimination and not something thats inherent to being gay OR trans
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No.402114
>>402113
The suicide rate still scares me though. If I ever try to transition I don't want to do something to hurt myself :c
I'm happy to find out that it's mostly debunked though. Thanks anon
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No.402115
>>402114
Oops! Second part was meant for >>402112
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No.402118
>>402114
>If I ever try to transition I don't want to do something to hurt myself :c
If you decide to transition, especially since you live in the US, you could just "boymode".
Don't repress, because all it means is that you will end up "cracking" at an older age, when your body is far less flexible.
It is an informed decision you need to make, but just remember that inaction could hurt you even more.
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No.402119
>>402118
Ok. I'll keep that in mind. Thanks, hon <3
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No.402178
>>402108
No, the suicide rate is that high because body dysphoria is an OCD disorder than can never actually be "fixed" by indulging in the obsession. Most of the time a person who transitions expects to be turned into some kind of ideal being, and when the hormones and surgery do not change that they are still disgusted by themselves in the mirror, they realize it was all for nothing.
>>402113
>Gay marriage legalization was a top down event since support of gay marriage was a barometer for gay acceptance
This is bullshit. Gay marriage being allowed is because of the government twisting people's arms into allowing it, not because the people actually want it. For the most part the majority still wants to lynch anyone with a "deviant" sexuality. Homophobia has actually been in the increase in many countries for the last few years.
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No.402215
>>402095
It does anon; I still want to be cute and girly but I'm just too fucking old so I embraced the dude in me and started working out, but after 2 years I've bulked too hard and now I just have giant arms and a shitty dad-bod gut instead of getting the otter body I wanted. I weighed less than 100 lbs in highschool and I squandered my trap window because I was too embarrassed to take pictures or order very many cute clothes. Sometimes I'll leave the gym with a pump and feel great, but the next morning I'll look in the mirror and wish I was 10 years younger and 50 lbs skinnier again. Growing up fucking sucks, feels like doors are closing on me every day and my path for life is set.
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No.402221
>>402178
>Gay marriage being allowed is because of the government twisting people's arms into allowing it, not because the people actually want it. For the most part the majority still wants to lynch anyone with a "deviant" sexuality. Homophobia has actually been in the increase in many countries for the last few years.
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No.402222
>>402023
Yeah when I went through a phase when I was 13
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No.402248
>>402221
If your flag is legit, you're practically within pissing distance of Russia (or what will be Russia in due time, anyway). Why don't you tell me how things are over in the less-civilized half of Europe?
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No.402270
>>402248
>you're practically within pissing distance of Russia
This is the result of the American Education System, folks!
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No.402306
>>402023
I did went through this kind of thoughts at some point during the "pseudo-dysphoria" phase I had for six months or so. Personal opinion here, linked to personal experiences and the reasoning I built out of them, but I found it out to be linked to the silly, believed-to-be-transcendent-and-general but yet variable in time, personal and contingent view I have on gender. Like, basically having some kinds of thoughts about myself or whatever that I perceived as "feminine" for some reason made me unconfortable and leaded me to long periods of distress. This set of mind logically leaded me to reinforce on myself what I percieved as "masculine" but a lot of times, I ended up to feel pretty much as unconfortable with it as the "feminine" parts.
Later, instead of denying myself and forcing such alienated narratives on my thoughts, I tried to begin to simply think myself outside the clichés. Still a boy/man but outside the silly clichés I forced on myself, and all the "pseudo-dysphoria" and weird unspeakable thoughts slowly started to vanish, even the discomfort I started to feel about my own body (I never really felt direct discomfort towards my genitals, even if I did wanted my dick not to be here from time to time). I continued thinking about what I had experienced and I'm pretty sure that it was all linked to the fact I was strongly growing up homosexual at the time and also entering sexuality. This kind of periods, I think, just compells you to re-think your very own being, as a day-to-day set of thoughts, and re-adapt to new contexts. Like the thoughts about your genitals : very linked to what you make out of them sexually.
It took me a lot of time to strengthen these opinions, I'm not completely sure that it's the truth and it's still strongly linked to my particular experience in life, and I don't want to force a narrative on people. But I hope that these could help you. A turning point for me was the time I read some random MtF person on the internet complaining that she wanted to be a girl somehow but at the same time strongly regretted the time me she was a gay he being gay with boys. It just crossed my mind that this person was forcing on oneself alienating narratives, convinced that the feminity and masculinity stuff was something transcendant and yet not realizing that these ideas in one mind were strongly contingent, leading to an absurd conflict with oneself, that has pretty much no answer.
In short : gender is a necessary fiction, just make it more like your own fiction and you could feel better and become more free.
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No.402311
>>402306
Maybe I could add an example to try to clarify my point : very trivial, like the way I could describe my dick. When I was in deep discomfort, anxiety attacks and mad thoughts, I was simply unable to think about my dick in a personal way. It was all about "how it should be", and the only available thoughts I could find about dicks, and that therefor became canons and even realities as I was trying to compensate my own Anomie (just check this concept out, damn passionating), were the manly stuff. And the manly stuff leaded me to even more confused feelings as I couldn't recognize this as my own being. And so on and so forth, absurd, alienating thoughts.
Later, I started to figure out that the thoughts that crossed my mind, like what a dick was, were not facts but "opinions", that came from society, and also that these "opinions" were necessary processes, kind of fictions that I was able to appropriate. And I was able to call my dick cute for example, and even not seeing any contradiction with calling my dick cute and still feel masculine. And then I found the way to produce my own fiction and resolve what appeared to me to be clueless contradictions.
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No.402312
>>402029
>Nobody looks at themselves in the mirror and thinks "yeah, I want to fuck that" (unless they're a narcissist)
I literally do that and I'm not a narcissist, I'm just fucking hot.
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No.402339
>>402248
For starters my little brothers school doesn't do shooting drills.
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No.402451
SHUHHHHHHHHHHHHT UHHHHHHHHHP !!!!
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No.402490
>>402023
sa-mi bag pla in rasa ma-tii de distrus, gayu drq
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No.402559
>>402023
>experience mild or severe genital dysphoria where they just want a flat front, without any features?
Oh, yeah, that's actually me exactly. It's something I've vented about on other boards, but I wasn't expecting this to come up on /cuteboys/.
I wouldn't call myself "agender" per se, though. There's something that rings very hollow about gender to me, but playing along with it (and as a guy, specifically) still works just fine for me as long as we're in this world we're in.
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No.402561
>>402106
What, do you think there’s a prescribed, sacred genital layout for agender people?
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No.402562
>>402106
What, do you think there’s a prescribed, sacred genital layout for agender people and that anyone who doesn’t want it just “doesn’t count”?
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No.402564
As long as I’ve already accidentally posted twice I might as well add:
>>402106
Nice slur, by the way.
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No.402576
>>402559
which other boards, this is on the only active lgbt related board i could find on 8ch. (i cant post to 4chan in my country)
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No.402618
>>402576
It is 4chan I was talking about, actually. I don't regularly use that site, but I have just ended up lurking /trash/ a bit lately. I might as well link my posts: https://desuarchive.org/trash/thread/20460371/#20540014
>turns out I've used the exact same image here that I used a month ago there
How 'bout that.
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No.402637
>>402576
>i cant post to 4chan in my country
Try changing your DNS. Some ISPs block it, but by just switching the DNS settings on your router, you can get around content blocks. It might not work for everything, but it worked for about 98% of the time for me.
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No.402863
>>402270
Well, then chopping off part of what someone said in order to completely change the meaning must be what they teach on the other side of the pond, as you put it.
>>402339
Okay? What does that have to do with homophobia? Because if you're trying to trigger (lol) me about shootings in America, don't bother. I fucking hate it here, wish I had been born in pretty much any other developed country, and everyone here with half a goddamn brain feels that way, too.
>>402562
Not at all, it's just that being agender has nothing to do with the condition of your genitals. It's as retarded as claiming that homosexuality has anything to do with being transgender.
>Nice slur
What? Nullo? That's just what furries call it. If you're offended by it, I apologize, but will continue using it anyway just because it pisses you off.
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No.402872
Boy, this thread went to shit very, very quickly, didn't it?
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No.402911
>>402872
It was shit from the OP and only got worse from there.
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No.402915
>>402911
I do agree that it went downhill very quickly after the OP.
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No.402939
>>402863
>being agender has nothing to do with the condition of your genitals
being transgender has nothing to with condition of ones genitals too. But you wouldn't get mad at a transgender thread for talking about surgeries would you?
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No.402954
>>402939
>But you wouldn't get mad at a transgender thread for talking about surgeries would you?
It's rather common for people to confuse/conflate transgender and transexual. But this is rather different because agender isn't a condition most people are even aware of or think about. Everyone here should be using the proper terminology instead of just regressing to the mean that the common public uses when they don't know better. Or would you prefer I compose this entire post in emojis like the kids do?
Also, I would get mad because it's still wrong, but that's not the point. Don't deflect to whataboutism; it's poor debating technique.
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No.402964
>>402954
I know the difference between _sexual and _gender. Not sure if you do.
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No.402974
>>402964
Clearly you don't, if you disagree with me.
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No.403001
>>402974
you are on the offensive side, explain yourself first
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No.403033
>>402872
Note that it's simply because of one single person coming with his shitty DERPscience.pdf
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No.403049
>>403033
… I didn't make the connection of "all the posts saying the exact same things over and over again every time someone comes in trying to have an actual discussion = one person just shitting up the thread."
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No.409070
File: 0d07dea6f8bbe78⋯.jpg (Spoiler Image,1.32 MB,2934x2890,1467:1445,0d07dea6f8bbe780a5458ffdca….jpg)
File: e113fa84165eb26⋯.jpg (Spoiler Image,84.52 KB,1280x959,1280:959,e113fa84165eb26818ade3210f….jpg)
File: 0f73c6be0faecc1⋯.jpg (Spoiler Image,909.56 KB,4000x2722,2000:1361,0f73c6be0faecc183a537345ae….jpg)
I'd like to bump this thread back up because even though the thread's gone to complete shit the basic idea of it is just, well, something I really need to figure out for myself personally.
Here are lewds for the trouble.
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No.409075
>>402872
Truth is, the thread was shit from the start.
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No.409198
>>409070
The next morning after making this post I spend a long time in bed being unable to muster up the energy to get out of bed and just feeling fucked up over this gender stuff specifically. So, hey, good timing for me on that bump.
… I don't suppose anyone would have any clue about how to get started on gender therapy?
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No.409234
>>402031
don't fight it anon, embrace who you truly are. There is only one Jeb!der. (pic related)
>>409198
My impression has always been that "gender therapy" was just tiddy skittles and chopping ur pp off. Buy the former and sign up for the latter (google can probably provide more detailed instructions). I'd rather u didn't tho because women are icky and men are much better.
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No.409242
>>409234
The latter might be the long-term goal for me, but not the former. Except that I imagine I'd need to start taking testosterone supplements once the latter's happened. So there's that.
In any case, before anything else you find a therapist with whom you can discuss this stuff and ultimately with whom you can unpack everything that's going through your head about your gender. It's only once you've gone through all of that and you've reached a real conclusion with a psychological professional about what's really going on with your gender that you should actually start thinking about anything else.
With all of that said, though, I've just got no clue on how to go about actually seeking gender therapy out.
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No.409247
>>402023
I've been dealing with a lot of thoughts like that lately. I transitioned to female when I was a teen and have been living as a woman for just under two years. I pass okay as an ugly girl, which is a pretty lateral move from being an ugly guy so I'm happy with it. If you're looking hard its pretty easy to tell but starting around a year ago most people I met seemed to stop noticing.
Don't get me wrong, I'm way way way more happy as a girl than I ever was as a dude but I feel like I'm starting to circle around into another kind of dysphoria. Really, I just want to be androgynous and not have to deal with gender. That's when I've been the most happy with my body and at peace with myself. I've started deliberately trying to look as andro as possible in places where I know I'll be safe and its been eye opening. I just, like it. Its like all the pressure is taken off.
tbh I'd probably soft de-transition to agender or genderfluid or whatever but I'm worried that I'd get treated worse than when I didn't pass.
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No.409253
>>409247
>Really, I just want to be androgynous and not have to deal with gender
Yeah, this is me. I'm way happier as a guy than I'd be as a girl but, again, I'd really rather just not have to deal with gender in the first place. That's me.
Well, that coupled with some amount of crying over how my genetics thought it would be funny to weld an underwear packer to my body. There's that for me too.
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No.409254
>>409253
That really sucks gender-non-specific dude. I wish I knew how to help. I'm just as lost as you are. What keeps me going is the handful of people in my life I know I don't have to be a boy or a girl around. I can at least try and forget for a little bit.
It sounds like you're dealing with a lot more physical stuff than I am though. You ever try tucking or a gaff? I know its only a tiny band aid but it might give you a little peace of mind.
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No.414785
Hi there. I'm the dude who posted THIS >>402306 message almost one year ago, and reading myself again it's clearly stupidly obscure, and not very well-worded. But on a personal level, I think that what I said here was relevant. This kind of gender no mans land and invasive gender thoughts stem from the sole fact of being non-heterosexual and everything this typically implies. Being non-het can easily take you away from the most typical gender expectations, that are often implicitly heterosexual, and one "convenient", but not always easy way out, is to say fuck to these expectations, and make your own take on yourself. At least this worked out with me - I have no real difficulty now to feel good as a guy who likes to crossdress and be a bit submissive sometimes, and I don't feel it irremediably contradicts with my more "masculine" side. Because I said fuck to these expectations, and choose not to give a fick anymore. This worked out, I feel much better now - maybe this also has to do with the fact that I live in my own place now, and don't have to deal with the anxious idea of some motherfucker running into the room while I'm wearing some """girl""" clothes.
Anyway I hope u guys are better, and out of this nonsense. Whichever take you made upon yourself. Trully, I think that there's a large majority of these confused thoughts that directly stem from objectivable, non-gender-conforming practices. Making the point about the practices themselves is imo more self-conscious than making it some vague gender identity bullshit, that you don't really appropriate. But of course, you do you. Who am I to judge, kek.
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