Masterful Flavor Pasta Ultima
Take half a red bell pepper, one red fresno pepper, three tomatoes, 1/4th a large red or white onion, two cloves of garlic, an egg, and fresh basil leaves, oregano too if you desire, and put it all into a blender. Dust on some salt and other spices if you crave more flavor. Add some water, so it blends, and then blend that shit.
Yeah, blend that shit.
Get a large pasta pot. A big one.
Coat the bottom with olive oil. Good olive oil. Don't be cheap.
Pour your blended veggie/fruit mix into that large pasta pot. If you need more sauce, either dump in a bottle of premade pasta sauce from a store, or just make more of your own sauce.
Then heat it up until it starts to boil. Keep it moving. Once it's boiling, add your meat.
You like meat? Yeah, I like meat. Luckily, meat is optional.
If you do like meat, go buy a slab of ground Italian sausage.
Put the entire slab in the pot and stab it with a spatula until it's in small pieces. Delicious. Then go for it. Add your goddamn noodles.
What? Yeah, add your fucking dry pasta noodles to the sauce. The fucking sauce. Add your noodles to the sauce bro. The sauce should be fairly thin, because of the water and the unreduced tomatoes and other ingredients.
Tortellini is good in here with other noodles; I prefer rainbow rotini.
Here's where it gets fun. Make sure you've got some high-quality mozzarella cheese. The really good shit. Dump that bitch in there. Get her all wet in the sauce, until she starts to melt. Let those thirsty noodles suck up the sauce, the sluts, and you wait at the pot, mixing it as the cheese melts.
You'll know when it's done. The noodles will be wiggling and will tremble on your fork, jiggling like used whores. It'll be hot.
Spoon some onto your plate, and then grate some parmesan cheese onto it. Top with a sprinkle of dried basil leaves, for aesthetics.
Chip off a small triangle of dark chocolate, as dark as you can get, and put it on the side of your plate, next to the pasta.
You've created bliss. Do not eat it. Only admire it.
No, I'm joking, you can eat it. Goddamn. Enjoy it though.