>>839472
I've known that feeling, but I have to say that though I understand it, it isn't true. Think differently, first about your own sin.
Do you want to get to heaven? Do you have faith? If so, it will move mountains. You are just impatient; God will steal into your heart when you are utterly exhausted by your own failures. Loving God guarantees this kind of suffering, unfortunately though you aren't really a hard drinker or gambler or a thief, your sins are comparatively minor. Being stiff-necked goes with minor sins like bread goes with butter. Minor sins are elusive, and your desire to get the better of them leads you to feel more defeated than the sin itself, because it's so minor. You are forgiven already, so just keep on going, take each day as a lesson in humility.
As for the state of the world, don't let it into your mind, other than to try to forgive as much as you can. Try to get in everyone's shoes, and if you can't do that see if you cannot bring yourself to say a good word about them, some way in which they are bringing God's plan to fruition even though they don't intend to or just plain stupid. Also have mercy on all repentant people, whatever the severity of what they did. Think also of terrible situations where all hope seems lost, and deciding to live on for God's glory. These things are better moral exercises than self-consciously worrying about your own sins, although there is time for that too.
I think it's very important to mentally fortify yourself for a lifetime of forgiving other people, and also against the possibility of suicide (which personally has scared me stiff ever since I converted). Not that I'm considering doing harm to myself, but the thing I've learned from this is that life is a matter of perspective, and that it's very important to God that we have Him at the center of that perspective. In fact, it's the only way we can serve Him, but faith also wards off all evil.
Occasional doubt is only natural however.