/christian/ - Christian Discussion and Fellowship

I would like to do this favor for you but I can't. What if people were to ask me to explain? I would be empty handed.

> I will avoid going into the details of how my soul was ultimately destroyed as its quite a long story

if you'll tell me this story then I will have the proper background to honor your request.

>>838519

I have told this story many times but it involves a lot of context and I've decided its just meaningless self-indulgence anyway. The long and short of it is I ended up in a psych emergency room where I was basically isolated for a week with demons testing me and I allowed myself to get carried away with fear to the point that I gave up my inner child as if it would be looked favorably upon (Like some kind of perverse return the Everlasting Gobstopper to Willy Wonka thing). I was basically being boiled like a frog slowly through the mechanism of fear. Eventually enough indulgence of fear will make you act like a vicious animal, even if your soul is being kept by The Spirit.I now understand why in Revelation the fearful are listed first among those who cannot be saved. I will say this all started because I had a dream where Jesus was trying to cleanse my mind by pulling me through like a vortex of light and I failed to trust him (because of the occult lies I had previously been exposed to). The demons were able to put a steady diet of thoughts into my head that leveraged this experience against me until my faith was entirely shaken. Actually I think this is the best explanation yet since its to the point and not trying to make the whole thing tragic and sympathetic. I did something monstrous that any man is capable of without listening to God.

Also don't think of this as a favor to me. In fact Christians should not do any personal favors for me. It will be a favor to the conspiracy theorists and others on /x/ who still have a chance to believe in Christ. As for me I could be in the lowest depth of hell and not be able to reach my hand out in fearful desperation and you have no idea how disturbing that is.

>>838524

Gnosticism is largely the danger but talking about how its a dangerous lie of the devil is not promoting it in any way. And I really wish I could love my family but my heart isn't even hard, its nonexistent.

>>838530

Even I know that a Christian will try to love every one, aside from devils and reprobates. Why would you want to hate when you can love? You can love without tolerating sin. Also no, being homosexual doesn't make you a reprobate, Andersonites. God forgave me for homosexuality. Only the abuse of God's Spirit is not forgiven.

>>838530

Since we're living in the modern era I'm talking about love in the modern sense not the Augustinian sense. You should always love in the Augustinian sense.

Bretheren! God took even me back in his infinite mercy! I finally realized I had to face my sin, not make excuses for it and not avoid it from guilt but simply face what I had done and believe that God could forgive even that! However I did not immediately believe, I in fact descended EVEN FURTHER! Finally I could just feel nothing, that everything was an illusion passing away and the devil tried to make me feel this also about myself. Eventually I was even pulled into a state where I was feeling like the devil. Finally though, I realized that all I knew was nothing without God and I decided to depend on his word alone, rather than my perceptions of my thoughts and feelings, to not lean on my own understanding, so I started to speak good things about him as if it were a message to myself (though I only perceived it as a possibly vain protestation at the time) to repent and I started to feel more relaxed. The day after that I remembered "the peace that surpasses all understanding" and I finally began to feel myself being healed but satan took a final stand and tried to make me confuse good and evil (don't even think it!) and finally I just said repeatedly "There is nothing you can do to pluck me from God's hand" and later "There is nothing the devil can do to pluck me from your hand". And finally I felt this strange feeling like the house was almost somewhere in the desert and I knew this was of God, so I prayed and I finally felt my soul reaching for him. The whole day was spent fighting the devil and defeating the perversions he put in my mind. I am stronger than ever in my faith because of this tremendous test of it, however obviously this testimony is not to be taken as an occasion to play games with God. Yes God did forgive me but I came extremely close to committing the unpardonable sin. There was a tremendous danger left in my mind by the perversions of the devil and it took powerful faith, especially one that despised even my own mind and understanding, to drive them away. No matter what, remember that fear of hell can profit nothing, it will bring despair, but fear of God will always nourish your spirit. And know that only God knows your heart. Jesus bless you!