/christian/ - Christian Discussion and Fellowship

Feel free to ask me anything

No offense but it really wouldn't be a shrewd thing to give money to an e-beggar with a sad story.

Are you in a church? Are they supporting you?

>>828842

I understand perfectly, I can give Any kind proof and information what you want

Churches deakony work is in city, 30km atleat and I dont have money to travel and for obvioua reasons strenght to cycle/walk

>>828843

what proof can you give?what's that on your pic?

>>828846

Why not, you know, focus on the important things, like Christ? Instead of badgering him for proof use Matthew 7:15-20 to your advantage in its relation to Revelation 19:10 and Jeremiah chapter 23.

>>828840

Why are you even in this situation? Start eating better by reading the Bible more. Read verses like John 6:53-63, 1 Corinthians 10:1-4, and Hebrews 5:12-14. Maybe a little dash of Lamentations 5:1-9 . Do something like planting a garden or rather gardens in random places and eat the fruit thereof. Just switching your diet around to something good will help your real health problems and drink plenty of water/Jesus blood like stated in 1 John 5:6, Revelation 12:11, Revelation 7:14, 1 peter 3:21, and of course John 19:34-35. Of course, use the King James Version.

St.John Vianney text on suffering will help you

http://catholicsaints.info/on-suffering-by-saint-john-mary-vianney/

>>828846

that is my stoma back where s— goes. I dont have "ass"

>>828880

check your email

That sounds bad, but I see that pity probably won't help you. Your illnesses don't detract from the absolute wonder that is human life. Your life is worth living, but you have to look harder for meaning and purpose than almost everyone else. You made it this far and have endured more than quite a few, which is no small feat. Don't look down upon yourself.

I'm interested in reading your thoughts on the collision of the intellectual, theological certainty that God is still there for you and listens vs the actual mundane act of praying, where you're now expecting or anticipating something of significance. Something that usually doesn't happen, maybe it will never happen. Maybe you're just having mistaken expectations and this is as good as it's going to get.

Thank you very much Galeb sending me paysafecard!!! It took while to convert to actual euros cause those ridiculous paysafe systems but I had the job done.

Money will come to great time, I have 38c fever again and my surgeon wound hurts. So it is probably again expensive hospital trip ahead

>>828989

Northern europe

>>828891

Sorry only noticing now, I was so sick yesterday that I fell sleep 21:00 and woke up 15:00 next day

>>828840

if you don't mind me asking,who is paying your hospital bills?Will that welfare check be enough to pay for them?

>>829034

You pay them 100% as long as you have money. After that state can help you paying them if you fill up certain requirements. In the future I GUESS state will pay most of them if I act right way but right now I have like ~3k€ dept of hospital bills what I should pay myself.

But righ now the biggest thing is just to get food, meds, critical bills like internet, electricity etc. and new clothes (I uses my 5 year old clothes what fit on my when I weighed 100kg right now I am severely underwheight, almost killed my self when I forgot eating cause it is so unpleasant thing to do cause all the stomach pain and s— etc.)

bump

>>829069

thx for keeping it alive

Most likely I need to go back to hospital this week, I will post pics there with wifi. Haven't really eaten for 5 days feeling so sick and diarrhea. Obviously I don't have money for taxi but there is a two options a) pretend to be so sick that ambulance needs to come to get me, pretty bad plan and you get ambulance bill afterwards b) ask everyone local who I know to drive me there, it is 60km but I guess there is always someone who is going to the city anyways.

>>829078

Lol I look so bum. Sickness really have treated me badly, used to be handsome man. But whatever it is not the outside what matters it is the inside

>>829079

you will get better man!Hopefully you brought to the hospital the rosary or a prayer rope or a cross necklace.The lord is our salvation.

>>829085

I don't know if you've noticed but the "containment board" is what sustained this community

God bless I just woke up from surgery, feeling great. Expensive "fun" fun is not right word what I really meant but there is no spesific word in english vocalbury that finnish word what I was thinking about but it is not current problem. Trying now to sleep but there is 3 old snoring man with same room.

>>828924

Of course god is still there and I if stop believing that he doesn't listens me there is no believing in christian afterlife. I am Evangelical Lutheran so I prayer myself quiet. That is just my way to be christian.When I was healthy I visited churches but didn't regularly. Sometimes red bible etc.

Okay anons some good and bad news

+Guy named galeb literally saved my phone and internet and provided trip to hospital. He solved many of my problems. It was something what I was never expecting. What a person

+Doctor will recommend temporary sickness pension to me

+Possible pension will solve my financial problems

-no one else than galeb have helped I like to say it doesn't matter but it matters. But I does understand it 100%

-it is not certain if state will accept the pension

-and if it will it will most likely take 6 months to get first pay

-my "critical welfare" application haven't been accepted yet, I am starting to fear that I don't fill the terms to this month for some odd reason

-getting the sickness pension actually means that doctors have lost faith on me

If I get that pension (I should by any logic what I have heard but state is state) I will do some volunteer work with my limits

Good luck bro. You're gonna make it. I would help but I also have severe health problems. I'm praying for the both of us. I really like this thread because it gives me something to relate to. I don't have nearly as much courage as you do to post about my story here. Again, good luck.

I believe you, but this is not the avenue for such matters. I dont even have any bitcoin, but I have time

>>829173

Any place is a place to help.Jesus does not ignore anyone that asks for his help,and in a like manner we should imitate him and do our best.

>>829170

Do you think you have enough money till you get your welfare check?

I just slept couple hours in outside of room in two upholstered chairs which I combined to "bed" then nurse found me and being very nice offered me to go to sleep empty nurse office. But then I found out I have crashed my phone to floor while sleeping and it said that sim not working. Heartrate really bumbed up ("oh god more problems") but it started working fine after deattaching couple times (nokia quality has really drop)

>>829173

Well to be fair, this is first time when I even loaded bitcoin app. I just guessed it is more common usage in anonym place than not-so-anonym methods :D Bad jokes aside I know what you mean and I perfectly understands that it annoys you. Keeping this thread alive and making these posts just keep me thriving and if someone has somekind of theological tips etc. I am very happy to hear them. Wordly and spiritual help is very much needed in hard times.

>>829177

http://www.tertullian.org/fathers/palladius_lausiac_02_text.htm#87

see if this text loads on your phone.A monk wrote this back in the beginning of monkhood,and it talks about the various monks(whom many are saints) and their various fights against sin,melancholy, feelings of abandonment etc etc

Suffering is hard,but god's answer to job always reminds me that god is much more then i.God loves man.If god hated man,we wouldn't be here in the first place.God is omnipotent,so there is nothing holding him back from killing that which displeases him.But,for his love of humanity he allows our free will,and allows man to act.We often sin and we will be punished for our sins,but god allows man to be.God love mans and it is through his love that we will be saved,if we do not sin that is.Pray for god listens to every plea asked in meekness.Keep strong and have faith,brother.

>>829182

*but she couldn't guess how much/if anything I will get THIS MONTH

>>829180

Need to check that later today, official wake up is 7:00, clock is 4:03 here

>>829183

that's fine man,take a nap.Give us an update if something happens.

>>829182

do you know how much those meds will cost?

>>829211

Well I can say for sure that months prescribe for ciproxine is like 50e + other antibiots what they will prescribe this time + possible painkillers

They moved me to 1 person room cause there is no isolation cases in this hospital ward. I just hinted that would be nice to be alone so nurses took advice and did me favor.

I guess they feel sympathy to me cause I am so young and quite frequent patient here. And well I kinda saved one mans life once. Clock was like 01:00/1am night and some guy in my room started make suffocating noices. It wasnt loud so other patients didn't wake up but because I have sleeping problems I was awake and I yelled that come look this man. In couple minutes room was full of medical people reviving him with that machine what you see always in movies. They took thim to intensice care unit (ICU) and I was informed later that thanks to me he is still alive. He had earlier downplayed his state of health to doctors and nurses so he was in regular ward.

I don't have told that story many times cause yes I saved his life but everyone in my position would do that so why brag about it. More like felt stupid when people thank me just being normal sensible humang being :D

>>829219

Are you feeling better now?I hope you are doing good man.Check your email.

Ok bois if there is a time when I need some good fortune and prayers it is now.

>i ate properly

>when I woke up I had huge stomach pain and nausea

These are first signs of ileus. In best scenario it will got off itself in time and I am out of hospital soon. But last time when I had these kind of nausea and pain it was months stay in hospital and surgeries.

I am so scared that I am actually shaking, was able to write that message on high on painkillers. Haven't yet throw up so it is good sign.

God bless you all.

Well I throwed up food and meds what I have eaten today. Atleast nausea stopped for a while but my stomach is like a balloon what means that there is some kind of error. If puking contineuos nurses will put "Nasogastric intubation" to me cause it will remove some pressure from belly. Putting that thing is literally torturing and I fear it so much.

>>829250

hey,man that sounds hard.You have more courage then this entire forum combined.how are you doing now?

>>829282

Very bad

>>829155

So you've been pretty stable regarding your relationship to God and your idea/image of Him, I take it? I find that admirable. When people, that have been hit quite hard in life - like you, say that they can't bring themselves to believe anymore in a God, that is all good but exists among all this suffering, I can't really bring myself to blame them. Theology may not actually be that helpful then. In your case I'm joyfully surprised that you hold it together well enough to not let go of your values.

My wife was on high doses of opioids and in a wheelchair since her childhood, even went to opioid rehab - she isn't anymore though. But that experience made her the wonderful, caring woman that she now is. Since I met her, I kind of understand now how it is, that suffering can do good. Kind of. But I couldn't say how I would cope when I had to endure the same. Makes me look up to those kind of people a lot more now. If you're holding it together, you're already doing better than most, I'd assume.

I'm struggling with severe depression since about two years now. So it's bad, but nowhere near what you endure. I am fascinated by theology and apologetics as a whole, but I am having a hard time "getting" God. Prayer and such. It's like you understand the schematics of an inline 4 engine well enough, but when you're confronted with the workbench, you can't quite put it together. When I try to pray there's just an emptiness, that I'm very aware about. Sometimes a little guilt, because I have the feeling I'm faking/cheating. I'm thinking now that belief really is an actual gift, as in: you can only get it freely given to you, it can't be acquired by your own actions.

That said, it makes me all the more happy, that you're holding up and haven't lost it. I hope you'll feel a little better in the coming weeks.

I don't have a clue about the Finnish health system, but from my experience most things can and absolutely should be legally appealed (hope that's the right term). Even if you think there's no reason to. Things like tax, your grade of disability, public transportation, more financial help. You probably can't do it yourself, so maybe you have a friend or relative that can help you. My mother-in-law still does it for my wife - she just knows the ins and outs. And she appeals things that even I wouldn't. It does pay off.

I know Christians aren't particularly fond of any kind of intoxication, but is weed allowed for chronic pain patients in your country? I don't think there's anything to prove by enduring more pain than necessary. Read some years ago that cbd oils were used to treat (mild though I think) pain, applied on the skin too. So maybe that's worth a try.

>>828840

>u have crohn and it is very bad no medicines will help and you will just starve we need to make stoma and surgery u constantly

Can't be of any help other than to say, when you get on your feet (you will), try the carnivore diet. There's thousands of anecdotal (no scientific studies on this yet) stories of people with Chrohn's and other autoimmune diseases having their symptoms significantly improved by eating carnivore or keto.

No IBAN?

I'm not realy religious, I prefer the 'creator(s)' over 'god(s)' and their 'prophet(s)', but for example I believe the bible brings morality to people and interesting history within.

Well, I could help out with € 7.500 - I only make a donation, if it takes me further in life. The receiver(s) should keep up the good work, win-win situations for both sides.

I don't see it here. Further, I don’t like charities. The world is big and yet so small.

How much healthy humans died since 2016? How much children? How much from them got torture, was raped and/or even sacrificed?

In ordinary static we still live in an very evil world. Maybe research the chlorine dioxide treatment, but not on regular sites - they are the one's with so much disinformation, typical pharma-industry stuff. Very evil.

I had bacteria on the sciatic nerve and it helped me to heal completely. The correct application and dose are important. You have nothing to lose, my pain was also unbearable.

>>829089

this

can / did you donate to him? if so thank you. I understand why some people are plagued by the problem of evil. It's a complicated issue with many good partial answers, but no full answer. I strongly believe in Jesus. Please consider that ultimately that there is some knowledge not availabel to us. If youre helping God bless you. I pray for youw now and pray you can find Christ.

>>829332

Kinda have felt bad about begging when I am now here in hospital cause there is million people in the world who most likely need money more than me. But then again I suffer in pain and it is stated that I will kill myself if I eat poor food and don't buy my expensive meds, "clinical food" I don't know word to for example nutridrink like special food what have been created special cases like me and all kind of vitamins, lactid acid bacteria, mineral essential for nutrition and so on.

Every cent is right now win for me, I can't argue how it is really win for you if you doesn't feel that way.

Iban works for me, but I do not know how it will work in other countries so I haven't posted it but there you go:

IBAN: FI05 5166 0240 0399 40

BIC: OKOYFIHH

Then again, if youself have bad situation, do not even consider giving me anything, talking here is free.

>>829357

Guy named Caleb gave me money back then. I paid my monthly internet/phone bills and ride to hospital. I have money for my basic meds too but lets see how long it will takes to me be here. This night have give me hope, no constant puking.

>>829376

This is good news.Rest,pray,eat and if you don't feel like typing then don't do it man.May god have mercy on us all.

>>829375

Any news man?

>>828989

Well I recovered quickly. I avoid the stomach surgery so is it fine. Yesterday eat first time and I will be out of hospital today. This corona hysteria has hit people hard what I have heard. Shops are empty of food, bus and train services are cancelled, schools etc. are closed and everyone are at their home. Didn't come best time this corona case, let's see how I manage to get along.

>>829546

I am happy for you.Yeah,corona has been a b—- to all.Will you be able to get home today,even with the corona hysteria?

>>829550

Yeah, tax drivers are always wake. Not the cheapest way to get home after this hospital trip. But there is not really any choice thanks to corona.

How this virus hysteria has affected your life guys? Here everything feels so stopped.

>>829554

Streets are starting to look more and more like ghostowns.Some people are wearing masks and gloves.Lots of people are starting to work from home.They are closing down cafe,bars,movie theatres in some countries(in my country only some bars are closed).People are scared and paranoid.Do you have food at home?What about meds?

>>829557

Yeah I got meds. Goverment is keeping pharmacies open.

Food is little problem. Because of this hysteria people have bought everything cheap stuff and markets are empty. Everything cheap like pasta and rice are gone. I need to come some early morning when markets resupply comes and buy everything I can afford. 6km to closest shop so it will be via dolorosa if go by foot. Then I am in quarantine cause I am part of risk group. I guess this didn't come surprise when looking my medical history

Hard times ahead, How you can get your things done when everything are stopped and people are acting like mad and buying and stack awaying eveything critical. But then again, I don't want to know what that virus will to do me though I am little sceptical how much harm it can do to people.

As expensive it was, being in hospital was nice. Didn't need to think about how to survive in this chaos.

Hey disease Anon, had you in my thoughts just now. Hope you're doing okay.

Remember to be safe during the corona epidemic. I think smear infection is supposedly less of a problem compared to aerosols. Can't hurt to thoroughly wash hands and use virucide rated desinfectant - if you have some - though. Wearing a mask may look stupid, but in your case it may actually be warranted if you need to go to the supermarket. Maybe hospital or army medics have enough to give you a spare one. They should be stocked up by now. Army is usually more willing to help civilians in need for free than civil hospitals in my experience. As paradoxically as that may sound.

I went to the builders/tools market with my wife to get paper boxes for moving. 1,5m between customers at all times and they count customers to only let a specific amount inside. It's pretty crazy. People are stocking up on groceries like a civil war is coming. Neighbour works at the butcher, some guy bought 500eu worth of meat in two days to put in the freezer. They've lost their mind tbh.

>As expensive it was, being in hospital was nice

That's good. Positivity is a tough skill to acquire.

Omg I was just writing in computer and I had writed like A4 full of text about my life and recents stuff and it looks like that this PC is finally finito.

Well thank you HP scrup laptop 2017-2020 , you didn't serve well

Well I try write something with my phone.

>>829288

Weed is not allowed and my pains are sometimes so horrible that I don't think that weed would help enough.

>>829291

Meat is very expensive so I can't afford carnivore diet. But then again I don't believe to these extreme diets, human being is omnivore.

It have been pretty nice week. Little bit pains but nothing serious. I went today pharmacy and laboratory. Town was cold but people acted normally. Shops are out of cheap stuff so I ate moose meat.

Welfare applications are seized/they are working them really slowly thanks to corona, so no money coming yuhuuu atleast they paid my 900e hospital bill from january before this korona s— .Also my social worker visit is postponed cause korona. We would have looked suitable rent home to me. They also postponed my visit to psychiatrist. IDK if I really need to go shrink but everyone talks about how I should go so lets try it.

Feeling pretty happy and I don't really stress. (I should pretty hard situation but whatever) I guess it has something to do with this benzo called lorazepam what they prescribed to me

>>829896

Sorry for typos. Writing with phone is messy

Boring times ahead in quarantine. Me, my books and old phone. Well atleat it is warm inside.

God bless you anons!

>>829896

Will you be fine for the rest of march and for april?You talked about rent.Are you eating well?I was already a neet before corona so my life didn't change much.I am worried about my family and some friends getting it.But again let the lords will be done on earth as it is in heaven.I hope everything goes right,man.

> One man asked if I can take one pack so he can make food for himself and kids. But woman answered that you should get your own macaronis.

I detest people generally in some sense. It's not like things like these are isolated incidents. No, they make each other miserable every day. I can't even feel sorry for the victims of Islamic christmas trucks anymore. I feel ashamed, but it feels like they willingly brought it on themselves. They've taken that kindness and empathy, and now it's not a wonderful thing anymore, but a miserable struggle.

I used to think "look how far we've come, amazing in itself", now I find adaptations of insects and animals far more wondrous.

It's actually far more rational and easy to really believe in the goodness of God, than in the goodness of man. Makes the apostles somewhat of an anomaly.

>Lorazepam

Be aware of the fact that benzos are very addictive. They aren't for continuous pain/stress/anxiety/depression relief. They're the best thing for immediate anxiety relief though and generally raises the mood. Taking them four times a week should be the absolute, non-regular maximum. Mindfulness based cognitive therapy (MBCT), mindfulness in general and mindfulness meditation is the most effective therapy thing there is overall - especially for chronic pain patients. You'd think bring aware of the pain would be bad, but it isn't. There's a lot of studies and brain activity scans. Even among other meditation forms it's the most effective. I listened to a lot of presentations because of depression. Maybe you should give it a try, it's basically free.

>>829942

The only meditation one should do is on the holy mysteries and on all that is holy.This sort of nonsensical meditation on meditating on absolute nothing or on very vague premises is exactly what the devil wants.Keep meditating on that which is nothing and start forgetting about the lord and soon enough the devil will fill you with all types of emotions and will slowly lead you astray from god.Read orthodoxy and the religion from the future.

>>829927

We man brought this upon ourselves.We wanted to go away from god and now we are paying for our sins.I know you don't like to beg,but if you need anything just ask.i hope everything goes well anon.Trust in god.

>>829959

>The only meditation one should do is on the holy mysteries and on all that is holy.This sort of nonsensical meditation on meditating on absolute nothing or on very vague premises is exactly what the devil wants.

Mindfulness isn't vague or unchristian though. Say you thank the Lord with a small prayer for every meal - that's being mindful in some sense. Say you try feel what's stirring inside you during prayer - that's being mindful too. I recommended that because there's a lot of studies on the subject, different kinds of meditation were compared too and this one actually helps with the things I mentioned. It's also basically secular to the extreme, so there's no theological reason to not try it if you could benefit. People that actually suffer tremendously will try everything they can, to not suffer longer. From your post I gather you've never encountered that kind of suffering and therefore don't understand how someone would want to try it. Driving cars is secular too, do you walk to work everyday because of this? No, because that reasoning is retarded. Satan has nothing to do with it.

Also meditating on nothing or nothingness isn't nonsensical at all - the Christian meaning of it is very different from buddhist beliefs. It's theological interesting and worthwhile.

>The only meditation one should do

You're speaking from authority? No, you say this because you haven't actually thought about it.

You don't even get what mindfulness is, but found it necessary to post this nonetheless. You don't even get the basic meaning of it. Even if you'd know all about the desert fathers, this would be a stupid post.

>>829993

If you meditate on nothing you are essentially relying only on feelings that can comes from absolutely anywhere.If you don't think that the devil takes notice of this,then you are wrong.I understand why someone would want to try anything that lessens the pain.I am a N.E.E.T after all.But to meditate in this manner seems to bring only disaster.For you do not contemplate but merely wait to feel "good" or "calm" or whatever adjective that describes your feelings.Even if you feel something pushing you in prayer,you should be incredibly suspicious for 1. you are a sinner 2. the devil loves masquerading as the lord and as his angels to deceive man.One should be wary of any mystical experiences.Soon you will start feeling like reading the bible is pointless for you "feel" god is with you and you will stop going to church for "gods house is everywhere".Soon you will stop going to daily mass for "the lord is always in me".This isn't the first time that it has happened nor will it be the last.

If you are going to meditate do it in the manner that the saints have done and not on secular nonsense that will most likely lead you to the devil.Seculars are seculars precisely because they haven't encountered god.Your trust in their practises is worrying.

>>830007

Okay, one last time: mindfulness and mindfulness-based meditation is NOT about nothingness. You can talk about nothingness twenty more times and it still wouldn't be. I didn't recommend meditations on nothingness as therapy, I recommended mindfulness based cognitive behavioral therapy (MBCBT). Rejecting that when it proved to be a great tool, backed by studies, is the no-bloodtransfusions-because-I-dont-get-it kind of retarded.

What would you say to a friend that suffers from depression, when he tries mbcbt? Only God is allowed to help him and if he kills himself, it wasn't worth living anyway? Because that's the kind of severity we're talking here. Your actions have consequences. But all is good as long as you can paint the devil on some walls and tell everyone about it - doesn't matter if it actually makes sense. Doesn't matter if it helps the person you're talking to. You could've read up about it and then formulate your point. But no. Discernment of spirits this is not. Mindfulness is as secular as it gets, or it wouldn't make it into mainstream therapy.

There's no polite way to say this: your whole point is idiotic. I recommend you stay off the internet too, because it really is the devils den.

Hi anons if someone still reads this thread

Haven't been posting. Kinda have lost interest anything internet related after my laptop hard drive broke. Wasn't really happy when I realised that I am not having anything to do than read books until I somehow can afford to buy new one. Embrassing to admit but was really hard spot when I realised that I will be without computer long time. Basically after I got out army and became sick I have been almost all the time in computer cause when you are somewhat "invalid" it is the easiest way to amuse yourself. First world problems lul.

But there is always something positive. Health been pretty good and I avoided getting homeless. Got new rent apartment from city. Pretty "wild" neighbourhood but atleast I am close to hospital and markets. Will move there in couple of months.

God bless you all in these hard times

OP on phone

>>829942

Yeah lorazepam is pretty nasty stuff. Didn't feel anything extraordinary when I stopped taking them but I have never been addicted to anything okay maybe sugar

Haven't heard anything about mindfulness meditation before but everything must be better option than chemicals

I've been through a lot of physical pain the last couple of days. I needed surgery for a disease in the urethra. It isn't as bad as you OP, but going through a full night without sleeping a minute because of acute pain is no fun. I now have enough painkiller to cope, but I have to keep a catheter on for 10 days. I don't really want to complain, I guess this is just to say "Iktf OP".

This is a pretty good exercise for me because even the slightest boner is very painful, so I have to avoid impure thoughts much harder than usual.

Anyways, everything should be back to normal in 15 days or so. I'm really thankful that this is happening during lockdown.

God bless you OP.

>>831344

You too anon

Now at new home, my neighbour name is muhammad. Hopely he doesen't pray too loud. Church very near, about 200m but it is closed cause corona. I have had little fever couple days and pains. Hopely nothing serious. Just have been sitting inside home a month now, computer broken so nothing really to do. Even libraries are closed.

Well I ask one more this time cause I really winnie the poohed up things now. I mean really bad. When I moved my new apartment I had to buy all kind of stuf (insurance, moving company) I thougt now everything will be fine cause my sick pension will start next month. Well I got reminder from billing company that I have not paid my hospital bill. I thought I have paid that but I haven't. Original bill must have came when I was im hospital last time. So I paid that bill cause I don't want bailiff to raid my house every week.

7.5 comes my pension, rent is 529e and other bills 100e. I need some money to food and meds meds not necessary cause I guess I can be without it couple weeks. Breadlines etc. are closed cause corona. I thought when I get out hospital that I wont never ever beg anything but I guess this is the last time before my pension starts.

Pls anons, I didnt come up with another option when I have been wake all night. Second best option is starve and third loan money from criminals. Two last options are not very tempting.

Well now when I think about it, I shouldn't have paid that bill and let it go distraint but being modest citizen has been important to me.

Hopely

>>829959

>>829959

Nice to hear that you are kind a okay OP. Hopely someone helps you

>>831786

Well thanks. Is it bit scetchy to ask , community to help but I guess it is okay in eyes of god and man if I someday could pay back to this world somehow. There is anons like >>828891 who have said it is okay so I guess it is okay

My fistula in buttock started bleeding so it is literally pain in the ass top of that :D I guess I just need to stay positive pray god and hope that I will figure out solution to get by on 7.5

>>831790

hey man check your email

>>831921

Thanks, mate.

Gob bless.

>>831921

i will be praying for you.

>>831921

are you out of the hospital?

>>831921

I will be praying for you.

What are your living conditions now?

>>831921

Nvm >>831735

What is your current paypal/btc address?

>>832796

>>832853

>>832854

My current paypal is: paypal.me/ELMU96

At this point I am so tired to all this that I don't care anymore. Having a faith is only thing what keeps me going. Imagine living with all this pain and sh1t and you dont have anything to do is horrible. I mean normal person can go outside and see world but I am stuck here with me disease without any activies

I ran out of hospital couple days ago cause it is cheaper that nurses will come check me when I need help.Ofc that costs lot but I don't care anymore wouldn't be able to save to new computer anyway so I just lay here in my home and hope that miracle happens and I will someday able to be in condition that I can go outside explore gods creation, beatiful world

>Tl;dr out of hospital pains in my little apartment waiting that better days come and if I have strenght to wait them.

>>833001

I'm sorry things aren't looking up right now. But you'd be surprised what people have come back from. There are many Saints who were in your position once. He tests those he loves very much, and we who have basically easy lives might have also to ask ourselves do we really have any kind of lives at all. For many of us, the everyday bearing of a cross is easily kind of abstract, and speaking for myself, my purpose is not entirely clear to me either, what I am to do, give up, etcetera. For you, it sounds like this is different. You have a real and constant opportunity for struggle and purification, it seems to me. Keep wanting to see God's creation, long for it, but be careful. Be careful not to be envious of us in the world, who have it so easy, who have so much. Being patient, it may be granted.

For what it's worth… https://www.invidio.us/watch?v=x5OFt0AEr2U and https://www.invidio.us/watch?v=aVBcB16l5eU and https://www.invidio.us/watch?v=iVOqK6MoHaw are youtube videos, but they contain writings of the Saints. That usually helps me… good luck brother, we're praying for you

Seeing that there is actually people out who are interested of my well being it is actually one thing what keeps me going.

Haven't been posting actively cause there is nothing in my life, actually nothing. Same pain and boringness to day to day. When corona ends and I if I am able to I will go to church which is nearby and post my feelings there

>>828848

I think he has no means to acquire anything rn

>>833004

You can download book pdf's from libgen, and there's good stuff on youtube

>>833044

Hope you find peace in His arms when your time comes anon. I wish you the best and hope to see you get better. I don't know if you are Catholic, but if you are, this could be a way to shorten any time you might spend in purgatory, by spending it here on earth now than later. Talk to you later.

Hey man, I saw the paypal request you sent, but my phone is winnie the poohed and I couldn't contact you - I don't have a debit card attached to my account and only had the initial money I sent you left over from when I made it.

You said you found a job as a copywriter - could you maybe set up a redbubble shop? I could dump it full of high res PNG's of things people would buy, like retro movie stuff and niche things. I am not joking about this, I did this as a teenager and earned about 500 bucks doing it casually.

I'll try and link a debit card to my account and send you some money anyways, but I can't really help you right now. Is there really no way you can funnel any money from the government to yourself through healthcare? You seem in a situation that is very much worth it and I get money regularly for similar reasons. Maybe look into that again, no matter how frustrating it might be… I'll be praying for you

>>833921

Crohn's disease should not be a death sentence. Hang in there man

Please respond to my email man, please be alright…

>>828840

Jewish genes?

>>833921

That copywiter job is now in pause, cant really produce any content in contion like this. Maybe future.

If someone feels like that their life is okay, then just contact me via my paypayl email. I guess we can figure it solution there.

I have been very inactive in this theread mostly cause I have thougt would be boring to watch my depressed life tourney to end. Next sunday I will go church, havent been in years. Just want to feel enviroment.

>>833161

I have been born and raised to be lutheren like everyone else here in north.

>>835930

Finno-ugric

>>834274

Most of the cases you are right, but I have had so many surgery complications cause my weird bowel and etc nasty stufff. Right now cant sit cause there is huge wound in my butt cheek whick crons disease have affected.

>>840286

Are you alright?