Pope just banned shitposting

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Pope just banned shitposting 02/27/20 (Thu) 03:43:45 e5a72a No.828227

https://news.trust.org/item/20200226110650-39cfh

Oh no what do we do guys

____________________________

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02/27/20 (Thu) 04:22:59 2c787f No.828229

File: 07c9b8fb618bd22⋯.jpg (23.08 KB, 660x517, 60:47, bgome galvinist.jpg)

I guess it's time for Reformation 2: Anti-Pope Bugaloo.

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02/27/20 (Thu) 04:49:25 9488c6 No.828231

>>828227

Good. Flaming is for faggots. Hence the term flaming faggot.

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02/27/20 (Thu) 04:56:48 28d389 No.828232

I was going to give up s—posting for Lent before he asked.

Now I feel like I need to s—post.

Nah, I'm going to be s— post free for all of Lent. I had the idea first.

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02/27/20 (Thu) 10:27:32 bcdd90 No.828237

>>828232

Just because you may not like the Pope doesn't mean you should do that. Stopped clock and all that. Christ doesn't want us to behave that way, I assure you. You know this. We are to love our enemies - and if they reject the message of the Gospel or are hostile in any way, just kick the dust off your feet, as he said. "Do not give to dogs what is holy." The best you can do is pray that they find Christ and convert from being dogs. Not pester them.

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02/27/20 (Thu) 16:26:32 250e93 No.828244

File: a3c5a50f9291dc4⋯.jpg (394.13 KB, 1232x968, 14:11, The pope does not speak fo….jpg)

>>828237

>Christ doesn't want us to behave that way, I assure you.

Blasphemy! Have you not read Proverbs 26:5?

<Answer a fool as his folly deserves,

<That he not be wise in his own eyes.

>>828229

>I guess it's time for Reformation 2: Anti-Pope Bugaloo.

AMEN! God Himself invented trolling, you know. No man who denies the holy sacrament of trolling can be speaking for God, anymore than a spirit which denies that Jesus is Lord. Was it not by the power of the Holy Spirit that Elijah trolled the priests of Baal? I shall demonstrate the Lord's mighty s—posting for you! Take a moment before you continue to prepare your heart to receive the sacrament of trolling.

Jonah and the whale?

The King James bible talking about girding up your loins?

The pope's hat?

God turning the Nile to blood and then giving all of Egypt a lifetime supply of frogs?

Jesus speaking to the Jews exclusively in cryptic short-stories?

Jesus telling the Jews multiple times that they would have to eat His flesh and drink His blood if they wanted eternal life?

God inspiring the idea of the Shrek movie when He sent that angel to give Balaam a spook by possessing his donkey?

God calling out to Adam, "where are you?", after Adam had eaten the fruit of the knowledge of good and evil?

God asking Adam, "Who told you that you were naked?"

God warning the Magi by dream not to return to Herod?

God warning Joseph by dream to flee to Egypt so that Herod couldn't find Jesus?

Are these not all holy trolling? And that's just off the top of my head!

Matthew 2:16

<Then when Herod saw that he had been tricked by the magi, he became very enraged

As you can see, Herod's jimmies were quite rustled that day.

Ah, but our Lord does not merely s—post… He also effortposts! He is quite the master ruseman!

Is not the gospel itself also a form of trolling? Is Jesus not the rock of offense? Did God not troll both Satan and the Jews with the crucifixion? Did God not troll Satan and the Jews when the Father raised Jesus from the dead? How is this not the greatest act of trolling ever devised? Can you imagine how butthurt Satan must have been when he realized that, once again and despite his best efforts, he was bamboozled into boarding God's ruse-cruise? And that clever ruse resulted in the redemption of God's people, no less! Praise God, Satan must be absolutely fuming! He will be enshrined in God's eternal cringe compilation.

Luke 7:23, Jesus said:

<Blessed is he who does not take offense at Me.

None can rustle the Triumvirate. Be like the Triumvirate. Let your unrustled jimmies shine forth before men.

Sanctify our Lord's trolling within your heart, that you may be like your Father in Heaven… LMAOing upon the throne as his enemies screech autistically down below. I commend to you that you seek to refine your trolling, for the glory of God. To seek righteous lulz in our fight against the evil one is good and pleasing in God's sight. Amen.

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02/28/20 (Fri) 10:01:08 bcdd90 No.828277

>>828244

>Was it not by the power of the Holy Spirit that Elijah trolled the priests of Baal? I shall demonstrate the Lord's mighty s—posting for you! Take a moment before you continue to prepare your heart to receive the sacrament of trolling.

Just because Elijah knew the priests of Baal worshipped a false god doesn't mean the situation wasn't serious. He still lost heart, because he didn't win enough of Israel to his side. None of this turned out well. And right after this situation, he ran for his life. Finally exhausted, he prayed to God for death. After that didn't work, he lived in the desert for awhile. He eventually would have to repay for taking up the sword (as everyone will), but I'll not expand on that.

>Jonah and the whale?

The only person making light of things was Jonah himself. He didn't want to preach to Nineveh because he was a Jew who didn't think Gentiles (Nineveh) were worth his time. God had to humble him, and make him realize that his mercy extends even to Babylon.

>The King James bible talking about girding up your loins?

It's a mundane saying. Ancient garb could be tied up and allow for running. The saying just means "Be ready".

>Jesus speaking to the Jews exclusively in cryptic short-stories?

"He who has ears, let him hear!"

>God inspiring the idea of the Shrek movie when He sent that angel to give Balaam a spook by possessing his donkey?

And here I thought you were somewhat serious. My bad. Thanks for wasting my time.

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02/29/20 (Sat) 00:37:45 970b29 No.828311

File: 76436d55c130ab6⋯.mp4 (6.37 MB, 640x360, 16:9, Gird Up Your Loins-BDucY-U….mp4)

>>828277

>Just because Elijah knew the priests of Baal worshipped a false god doesn't mean the situation wasn't serious.

…You think trolling isn't serious business?

>He eventually would have to repay for taking up the sword

By ascending directly into heaven on a chariot of fire? Maybe you should expand on that.

>The only person making light of things was Jonah himself.

He wasn't making light of it. He knew exactly what God wanted to do and was being incredibly stubborn. So God had a whale eat him for a little while and then regurgitate him.

>It's a mundane saying.

God ordained from eternity past that every pastor who uses the KJV in this modern era should have to spend at least 30 seconds of their sermon awkwardly explaining what "gird up thy loins" means.

>Thanks for wasting my time.

You'd better check yourself before you Shrek yourself.

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03/07/20 (Sat) 00:01:46 000000 No.828772

>>828244

>Do not answer a fool according to his folly, or you yourself will be just like him.

>Answer a fool according to his folly, or he will be wise in his own eyes.

What, unironically, did Proverbs mean by this?

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03/07/20 (Sat) 00:49:36 ccffea No.828780

>>828227

Does this mean the papists will be charitable in their discourse now?

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03/07/20 (Sat) 03:04:33 e7c1f0 No.828786

>>828772

Giving you a reason not to answer a fool according to his folly, and then giving you a reason to do so.

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03/07/20 (Sat) 03:52:52 3df332 No.828788

>>828772

It means Bible idolators are idiots.

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03/07/20 (Sat) 04:27:14 8c9b5f No.828790

>>828788

This is a Christian board, Hirschel.

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03/07/20 (Sat) 05:18:49 3435b5 No.828792

Pope sucks. He is a wolf in sheep's clothing leading his flock astray.

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03/07/20 (Sat) 23:14:43 28d389 No.828830

>>828792

True. But I gave up s— posting before the Jorge Bergoglio said to.

it's difficult, given the amount of happenings that have come out since Ash Wednesday

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03/08/20 (Sun) 00:14:14 cca51f No.828834

>>828790

Real Christians worship God not the Bible.

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04/24/20 (Fri) 08:16:40 560f4f No.831773

File: b98612d12b1726f⋯.jpg (254.41 KB, 1143x715, 1143:715, 1500057927990.jpg)

>>828244

Based

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04/24/20 (Fri) 09:29:01 747c9b No.831776

>>828244

>Are these not all holy trolling?

Uhhh

I want to agree but some of your examples are…

>Girding up your loins

Its really not.

>Jesus speaking to jews

He spoke to everyone but the 12 that way. What is with that?

>Jesus telling the Jews multiple times that they would have to eat His flesh and drink His blood if they wanted eternal life?

How.

>God inspiring the idea of the Shrek movie when He sent that angel to give Balaam a spook by possessing his donkey?

H…

>God calling out to Adam, "where are you?", after Adam had eaten the fruit of the knowledge of good and evil? God asking Adam, "Who told you that you were naked?"

He's acting with them the way he always acted. If you're going to say, "the questions were useless", imagine what would happen if Jesus used his knowledge to reply to people's questions before they were asked. He could have, he didn't.

>Hello this is God, someone is coming to kill you please flee

Y'know what nevermind I think you've convinced me, nice s—post, god!

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04/24/20 (Fri) 09:43:57 45670a No.831777

>>828244

This is cringe and reddit.

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05/03/20 (Sun) 21:18:14 3124df No.832715

>>828227

Lent is a pagan tradition which you shouldn't practice anyway like Easter or Christmas.

>>828788

>>828834

>worship God by not reading God's Word

Do catholics really?

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