/christian/ - Christian Discussion and Fellowship

Bumping this thread because I've been thinking about this myself recently. In order to raise kids normally, both parents would have to be working. That means leaving the children exposed to the filth present on YouTube and TV. The way I see it, the way I'll have to go about it is work hard and save up enough money to financially support a stay-at-home wife. Unfortunately, I'm a 26 year-old NEET and while I have the potential to get the degree in Engineering I desire, by the time I get the funds necessary to support such a wife, I predict I'll be in my late 40s. That would mean quite the age gap between myself and my future wife as well as between me and my own children. I'll be having children at an age where most are having grandchildren.

I'd like to see the posts from the parents on /christian/ now and gauge just how bad it is to leave your children exposed to the media. If it's not that bad then maybe I'll consider a wife relatively soon.

>>823665

If I ever become a parent, do you have any tips? I want to have kids who will love God like I do. There is so much Love I want to give, and I want my kids and my family to to do so. I don't want to be selfish anymore. i was like that for years and i was miserable because of it. My parents told me I have touched a lot of people in my life, and I wish I could continue it for the next generation

I'm not gonna be a parent anytime soon, but I'm curious about your opinion on Catholic schools. I went to a secular private school and ended up a lukewarm, but I becane quite zealous on the faith by age 21. A lot of my relatives studied in Catholic schools and ended up as lukewarm or downright heathens. Do you think it makes a big difference whether one goes to a Catholic school or not?

>>823682

I believe a lot of starts in the home. its a team effort. I believe in a "gentle, yet firm' approach to parenting. I believe strict parenting can backfire. I believe that being discipline should not be handed out like candy. My grandfather was the kind of parent my mom said was very mellow. The few times he raised his voice brought discipline in the house. I believe being a kind gentle parent who people respect out of feeling guilty of offending. Like if one had attacked Mr. Rogers, then felt real bad and made up for it. i hope to be Christ like in my parenting. I'll be a parent who no child wants to hurt.

As to your question, it really depends on your parenting when it comes to raising your kids right. Bad parenting can do a lot of damage to a child. Remember that

>>823680

>just how bad it is to leave your children exposed to the media

Think about yourself. Did you grow up exposed to such things? Did they affect you in any way? Personally, I did not watch that much TV when I was a kid, but even the small amount I was exposed to left bad influences in my soul. I also grew up listening to Entartete Musik (mostly pop, rock and latin music) on the car's radio and that also did some harm to my upbringing. I don't think videogames did much harm (I didn't play M-rated games until I was a teenager), but they're a huge time sink and one should play them only sparingly. The internet is a different can of worms, and it's certainly very dangerous to let children use them unsupervised. I was 11 when I first stumbled into internet pornography (with the Lord's grace I am overcoming it) and I wasn't even actively looking for it.

(Polite sage for double posting)

>>823683

There is too much suffering in the world. I want to give as much love as possible to those around me

>>823682

Your kids should be homeschooled. Absolutely no excuse to let them go to public school and Catholic school is only marginally better.

>>823665

I have 6 children. I've raised them to understand that the ways of the world are not the ways of God. It's not difficult but it takes patience. Allow them to see the world as it is and be ready to answer their questions. The harder you try to hide the world from them, the harder they will push to experience it - usually behind your back.

>>823697

Uneducated people should not try to educate.

>>823699

what is it like raising them on a daily basis? Really curious on raising that many kids. It must be Hard

>>823699

>Uneducated people should not try to educate.

Why are you uneducated? And not to appear antinatalist, but why are you raising 6 children without being educated?

>>823705

It's just something you get used to. It also helps if you teach them life skills - such as cooking. If a 14 year old doesn't know how to cook for the family, then you've done something terribly wrong as a parent. It's also good that the older children can help with things like taking the younger children to school.

>>823706

I am educated, thank you. What I'm saying is that the uneducated should not try to home school. It needs to be a caveat instead of just the blanket statement: "Your children should be home schooled!" My children are not home schooled in the academic sense. My wife and I have taught them to cook, basic car maintenance, some electrical stuff like changing a wall socket, lawn care, basic sewing and all that stuff most people take for granted; but they've all attended public school and we've never had a problem.

>>823697

Do children belong to the state or their families? Is there any official Vatican statement on homeschooling?

>>823710

Children belong to God, on loan to the parents.

>>823712

So the parents have a special duty to educate their children, it would seem. Why is homeschooling forbidden in so many places, then?

>>823713

I don't know. I've never lived in such a place.

>>823709

>I am educated, thank you. What I'm saying is that the uneducated should not try to home school. It needs to be a caveat instead of just the blanket statement: "Your children should be home schooled!"

I doubt anyone here is uneducated to the extent it would cause problems. There's nothing in a public school teacher's education that makes them particularly qualified to teach either, which is borne out by how dismal public education is compared to homeschooled childrens'.

>My wife and I have taught them to cook, basic car maintenance, some electrical stuff like changing a wall socket, lawn care, basic sewing and all that stuff most people take for granted

That's great, and they probably could have learned even more if they hadn't wasted so much time in school since it seems like you would have made good enough teachers

>>823713

>Why is homeschooling forbidden in so many places, then?

Public education is one of the main manners of indoctrination and social control, so in any country they can get away with it the elites will outlaw homeschooling. I'm Orthodox myself but I must admit in the US public schooling was created as an explicitly anti-Catholic institution so while all parents should avoid sending their kids there, Catholics should already be well aware of why that is.

>>823709

Those skills I'm lacking, I might be able to teach cooking, but I'm the kind of man who has poor quality hand eye coordination thanks to ASD. I barely know how a bike works. Those skills went to my brother, who is capable of being a skilled worker and is good with his hands. Me? Can barely use a hammer. What are skill that I can learn that don't require anything complicated like a needle (I also don't understand how sewing works so can't teach them that ever) My skill is with writing. But I'm terrible at that too. because I can't do Dialogue. As for Lawn….WHY though? I never saw why people have lawns. seems like wasted space. Why not tear it up make it into useful space.

>>823716

correction: I don't know how a hammer works is more aprropriate

>>823717

I'm not a creator. I'm better at thinking how to destroy stuff than how to create. What skills can you teach that involving destruction.

I remember my brother coming home with new chisels and I don't know how they work so I don't know what to do

>>823715

>I doubt anyone here is uneducated to the extent it would cause problems.

I don't know, man. There's a lot of anti-college sentiment around here.

>teacher's education that makes them particularly qualified to teach

Actually, there is a lot more to teaching than just reading out of a book. An education major - especially elementary education - has learned a very important and valuable set of skills - including how to keep the interests of a room full of 6 year old kids for up to 8 hours while still teaching them basic skills such as reading, writing, and arithmetic.

>they probably could have learned even more if they hadn't wasted so much time in school

Yeah, see, want to know how I know you're not educated? You make statements like that.

>>823716

>I'm the kind of man who has poor quality hand eye coordination

Well, you teach what you know. I know how to sew because my grandmother taught me starting from a very early age. Everybody has something they know and you pass that on to your kids. The school system takes care of the rest, which is why home schooling is a bad idea. Oh, sure, we can all probably teach a child simple math; but how many of us can teach a child all the way from 1+1=2 up to complex calculus?

>WHY though?

Why not? The back yard here is mostly garden space for growing vegetables and the front yard is because nothing builds character like having to go outside and mow on a saturday morning when it's 90 degrees. I feel bad for people in apartment, to be honest.

>>823719

i am one of them. I find college with its nonsense to be the last thing i need. Last time I was on a college campus as a visit i felt like throwing teachers out the 4th story window. I wouldn't do that now. but when I was in High school, It took all my will not to create chaos. I will NEVER set foot on a college campus. EVER. I'd rather have my teeth ripped out than attend a lecture. My faith in school is that much destroyed by their nonsense. Besides for a couple hundred dollars at B&N I could teach myself the classes they charge thousands for. I hated teachers for years since November 2008 until recently

As to my skills… i might have military history if nothing else. Much of my youth was spent

>>823719

>Actually, there is a lot more to teaching than just reading out of a book. An education major - especially elementary education - has learned a very important and valuable set of skills - including how to keep the interests of a room full of 6 year old kids for up to 8 hours while still teaching them basic skills such as reading, writing, and arithmetic.

Lol dude, both my parents were teachers and I worked as an English teacher for Chinese children in college. I know what the qualifications are to be a good teacher and it isn't hard and certainly doesn't require formal education.

>Yeah, see, want to know how I know you're not educated? You make statements like that.

Okay Mr. Degree man. You can make all the excuses you want but your hostility comes across to me as guilt.

>Oh, sure, we can all probably teach a child simple math; but how many of us can teach a child all the way from 1+1=2 up to complex calculus?

Well I could, most teachers can't though. Only about 1/3 of high school math teachers can even pass a comprehensive test in the subject they teach. And protip, if your child needs to learn something you should probably know it yourself or else it's not important.

>>823720

I can't use my backyard because of draining fields. Also, this explains why i don't care for the lawn, our soil is very poor. can't grow much except weeds

>>823721

>if your child needs to learn something you should probably know it yourself or else it's not important

See, that's another sign that you're not really educated. Yes, sure, you may have taken some classes and you might even have a degree - but you missed out on something truly important. You're assuming that your children have to be exactly like you and do in life what you did.

My son, for example, is a photographer. He's extremely good at it, too. He has a natural talent for it and it's something I could never teach him. I am, in that example, in need of outside expertise to help him hone that skill and become truly great at it. It is important to him and, therefore, it's important to me - even though it's something I know nothing about.

If you want to raise your kids to be little clones of you, well, good luck. They're going to rebel and run away and live their own lives without you.

>>823719

i used to understand basic algebra. but by High school I wished to raze the school-and teachers down. Middle school was when I first considered suicide as the age of 12/13 teachers didn't help with my bullying and even joined in. I used to love School. But after Middle school, I viewed teachers and school alike with absolute HATRED, that I hope to never see again. I am done with secular institutes NO MATTER their repute. I never took my SAT,s even if I did I would have purposefully answered it all wrong out of spite

They destroyed my faith, they made my teen years miserable and I hated God because of them. And I forgive them. Even if they are heretics

>>823723

This reminds me of when my mom took me to a robot competition to see a friend of hers' daughter compete. I HATE robots, hate animatronics in general. still do but because they are of the material world. And I told them it was stupid and Mom freaked out. I still think robots are stupid

>>823727

so If I'm not even capable of teaching basic math to teach what do I teach? i have no skills no traits of repute, Nothing i am useless. all I have is a lot of love to give so if they need someone to cheer them up if they are hurt or need support. but I have nothing useful to teach

>>823723

>See, that's another sign that you're not really educated. Yes, sure, you may have taken some classes and you might even have a degree - but you missed out on something truly important.

You sound like one of those blue haired girls that claim someone can't be educated unless they agree with what their professor said 100% of the time. Very narrow minded.

>My son, for example, is a photographer. He's extremely good at it, too.

He didn't learn it in school I'm sure

>If you want to raise your kids to be little clones of you, well, good luck. They're going to rebel and run away and live their own lives without you.

You're projecting. All I said is that in general education, you should know the basics better than a child or you're not educated yourself.

I feel useless now

>>823730

I wanted to love everyone, and they instead filled me with hatred. It hurts a lot thinking of all the hatred I felt all those years. I don't want to experience such hatred ever again.

>>823729

>He didn't learn it in school I'm sure

Actually, he did. We would not have known about his natural eye for photography if he didn't sign up for a photography elective … IN SCHOOL!

>>823730

>>823734

Will pray for you

>>823957

thank you anon. Bless you all. I love /christian/ I feel like I found something i didn't know I wanted or needed. I feel better than I have for a long time

>>823957

I was napping earlier today and the dream ended with a toddler running up to me and saying " I love you daddy" It was the best dream I've had in a long time

>>823723

How do you decide where to draw lines and balance being strict but not too strict so they dont rebel?

I am a first time parent to a toddler boy. He is a miracle. We have a rule of no screen time which I think has already helped so much. One of us stay home. It is a small income but we do cloth diapers and cook our meals and make it. But I will be returning to school and hopefully in the future we can both work part time instead of one full time. I know the traditional American household had a stay at home mom but after reflecting the most traditional way is BOTH parents staying home and teaching each gender their roles. Obviously modern American makes this difficult so I figure equal time at home is ideal. Homeschooling and Church are must for us. Hoping to give pretty strong theological foundations as well as I was not taught that as a child and it caused me to stray as an adolescent. Having a child is very motivating. It makes me want to be a good Christian. I try not to be vain and watch what I say. I think health is important so we are not burdens to society as well. Good thread. Children are so important.