f8bf3b No.817981
God or nothing. If this is true, then why should I bother with anything else? Recently these three words have been haunting me up to the point that I consider my last two semesters to be the most severe period of procrastination of my life. I am at the very end of my studies but I feel nothing; no excitement, no desire to be done with it; nothing. Because why should I study? My studies will not make me closer to God in any way. Yet I feel the pressure to finish my studies: I do not want to see the disappointment on my parents face. That is the only thing that kept me going.
And surprisingly I am not failing. Even though I worked only on days before exams, I passed with average grades. Finishing the studies is perhaps also what is scary to me. I will be expected to enter the job market, search for a slave job I do not want. I fear that once I enter that world, all will be lost for me. Why is it that consecrating your life to the engineering of some temporal, useless gadgets is seen as something great, but consecrating your life to God is wasting your life.
How on earth am I supposed to exit this damned loop? I do not want to study or work because I fear that I am wasting my time by not consecrating it to God, yet at the same time the societal pressure keeps me on the edge of my studies. Which during the past 9 month resulted in me generally not doing anything good at all. As I said I crammed during all-nighters before the exams, but other than that I just… lived. I went biking. I read some books. I gardened. So I do not think that I am depressed, but I simply do not know what to do with myself. The only thing that I wish is to do something to help the poor; to join a monastic order. But I am to scared of what that implies.
> pic related: me if I was a 19th century woman
____________________________
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44dfca No.817990
Perhaps you could do something on the side for God, like volunteering at your church or even getting a position there somehow. Or, if the Holy Spirit wills it, use your current skills for His glory.
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9c7976 No.817994
>>817981
OP why not concede control to Jesus? If you are so torn up; do an Act of Contrition, Spiritual Communion and then ask the Lord Jesus to take control and enter into your soul entirely.
The Devil may be influencing your current dispair and messing with your ability to reason.
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dbf098 No.818001
>>817981
if your vocation involves having a wife and children, getting a job and making money is exactly what you're supposed to be doing. with a college degree you will not be working a slave job (slave job = only being able to support yourself with the most basic necessities).
yes, your job and your studies are secondary to serving God, but everyone has to work. consider also, many monks were mathematicians and scientists. even someone who consecrates their whole life to God had time to study what God had created.
(i do think this discussion changes a little if you don't plan to marry; then by all means the priesthood/monasticism might interest you.)
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f8bf3b No.818015
>>818001
I know that many monks were mathematicians because that is what I am studying. But while at some point I thought that studying it would help me understand what God had created that is a view I have not become disillusioned with.
I do not see myself married as I have hardly met any woman my age that would be interested in a Catholic life; the mean age at my parish is working in my favor; there are not so many young people (ie in their twenties), male or female.
I need to have a discussion with my priest but I get stomachaches thinking about it (out of fear).
>>817990
Yes I need to get more involved in Church that is certain. And I wish for nothing else than to use my skills for his glory but I cannot find that yet.
>>817994
I pray that I can concede myself to Him entirely, and I will continue to do so.
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9c7976 No.818057
>>818015
>out of fear
That is an evil spirit working on you to keep you away from the person who could help you the most at this moment.
Pray to the Lord to bind the spirit of Fear and beg him to grant you the Grace of Courage. Also pray the Long version of the Saint Michael prayer. Memorize the short form if you haven’t. I find these work best when the Devil is working against me.
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f8bf3b No.818065
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bef407 No.818311
If you have the vocation for raising children to adore God (which is a very glorious thing to do) then you should focus on your professional career. There must be a good and catholic wife for you somewhere. If you don't, consider the religious vocation: seminary or monastery.
Pray to God so he use you as his instrument.
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cbdec4 No.818359
>>817981
The solution is not to eschew study and work, but to study and work for God. You realize that, so imperfect as you are, you lack the necessary skills to serve your purpose in the universe, you must learn and work to realize something closer to your potential and become an instrument worthy of serving God.
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c46e06 No.818362
Just finish your studies and then bother yourself with no important excercises
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3ef74d No.818363
Drop out of school and go marry a good man. Pump out some kids. Guaranteed to solve your problems.
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0d3cbd No.818372
>>817981
Finish your education. It's your duty towards your parents, by doing it you'll be honoring them. Also, no one would wish to marry an uneducated person (IRL opinion is much different from the opinion here on the board) so consider it as your duty and finish the education. Besides, you must be well educated to teach your kids too.
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d7c7bc No.818396
>>818015
>And I wish for nothing else than to use my skills for his glory but I cannot find that yet.
Perhaps that's because you don't need to know that yet. There is a reason you're on this path, you might not know why right now but one day it will be revealed to you. Or maybe it won't. That's why they're called "mysterious ways".
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54d7aa No.818459
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bf0950 No.818473
>>817981
That's literally just not how God is. God is very reasonable and light in what he wants us to do [Matthew 11:28-30], he never asked you to give up on life.
God is more important than life, but that doesn't mean he asked us to stop doing the things of life, but rather to live life right, to love him and do his will.
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d20730 No.818509
>>817981
>>818015
>mathematician
You struck a chord with me OP. I studied CS and then maths, but a few exams into it I got redpilled and disillusioned with the political system too, so I starting slacking on my studies and ultimately quit them. On the upside I found God during this process, which is obviously the greatest thing. I've arrived at the conclusion that they are only 3 ways to live a good life today:
- The simple: Have as many kids as you can and lean on the system as hard as you can (Varg style)
- The mystic: Become a monastic and pray
- The fighting: Take the political fight to the system (Adolf Hitler style)
Don't believe the people who tell you "just have a family and work", because unless you have an enormous amount of children that you can raise 100% redpilled, you will always contribute more to this Satanic system than you contribute to God's will. I am very happy how things turned out for me, and I will go down the 3rd path, as this is my disposition. As for you, I cannot tell you what to do, since nobody with mathematical affinity is ordinary according to a CS prof of mine, but I will give you an important piece of advice: Steel your soul and body, read the Bible, pray, fast, follow all of God's commandments, work out your body as much as your can, your strength, speed, explosiveness, endurance. No matter which path you choose, it will be necessary that your soul and body are as strong as possible, your success is contingent on it. Waste no time on this.
Other than that Godspeed, if we both should fulfill our tasks assigned to us by the Lord we'll meet in paradise.
P.S.: I'm Orthodox.
>> pic related: me if I was a 19th century woman
Did she get poisoned by the arsenic in the wallpaper?
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fe890e No.818511
>>818509
>Take the political fight to the system (Adolf Hitler style)
>P.S.: I'm Orthodox.
You don't say…
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a9921f No.818521
Are you a grill? If so, finding a man who will take care of you shouldn't be hard as many men would kill for an intelligent mother of their children (especially one mathematically orientated). Then you can glorify God by raising an army of big brained children in his name.
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d20730 No.818527
>>818511
There's plenty of Orthodox politicians who fought for the right ideas, but none as monumentally successful (thought for a short period of time) as Adolf Hitler. He's simply the most pertinent example.
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3ffdbc No.818617
>>818509
>The fighting: Take the political fight to the system (Adolf Hitler style)
>P.S.: I'm Orthodox.
*OrthoLARP
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8d4f88 No.818630
>>818509
>ortholarp
>uses Varg and Hitler as examples for anything
Like pottery.
No offense to actual orthos.
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1970f4 No.818641
>>818617
>>818630
I'm cradledox, baptized and confirmed in the Orthodox church, I fast every fast, I go to church every Sunday. There is absolutely no larp here whatsoever.
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3ffdbc No.818664
>>818641
>boasting about works
Pls stop
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1970f4 No.818673
>>818664
Neither do I boast about works nor do I watch porn you polemic mental midget.
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3ffdbc No.818675
>>818673
Moreover when ye fast, be not, as the hypocrites, of a sad countenance: for they disfigure their faces, that they may appear unto men to fast. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward.
Matthew:6:16
But thou, when thou fastest, anoint thine head, and wash thy face;
Matthew:6:17
That thou appear not unto men to fast, but unto thy Father which is in secret: and thy Father, which seeth in secret, shall reward thee openly.
Matthew:6:18
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41c5c0 No.818708
>>818664
>ywn have a catholic gf to remind you about the detrimental effects of (((porn)))
Sigh.
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1970f4 No.818727
>>818675
I'm not a Catholic and I don't disfigure my face when I fast, nor did I complain about it. I said I fast because it's one of the Orthodox obligations, all of which I fulfill, so I can't be a larper. It is tiresome to see a flood of sheepish outrage every time someone espouses a right-wing opinion here. You can be an ultranationalist and a Christian, deal with it.
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3ffdbc No.818732
>>818727
>You can be an ultranationalist and a Christian, deal with it.
What are you? 16?
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c76056 No.818743
>>818630
Name one thing anti chrstian about Hitler. Please don't use jewish lies. I've read the bible, I'm a born again chrstian, I would die for my faith, if thats what the lord asked of me. I've read the gulag archipelago, commies rolled christain monks down stairs and cartoonishly tortured them. Hitler never hurt anyone on the basis of them being christian.
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2525ca No.818744
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2d5bac No.818815
>>818744
The bible is not anti violence. It says not to murder, which is different than not to kill. How can you ignore the devil attacking your brethren? Clearly you shouldn't! You defend them! That is christian
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2d5bac No.818823
>>818820
Cancer is already cured you fool.
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2d5bac No.818829
>>818823
Aging maybe 2 for that matter. I've seen videos on how to stop that as well. You can't command the lord, if it's in his plan you will win, but i do not wish you to win or lose. The things you ask for are done, only those who try to bring it to public attention are killed by the "government" which is illegitmate and evil, and goes against the law of the land, aka the constitution
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2525ca No.818830
>>818815
The cries of a soul unenlightened by the Gospel.
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2d5bac No.818831
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2d5bac No.818832
>>818830
>when you cant win an argument so you ad hom
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2525ca No.818835
>>818832
This isn't an argument. Seeing the image you posted of the Lord signals to me that it isn't even worth explaining to you why >>818815 is in error. You've set into your own position, only God can help it.
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2d5bac No.818836
>>818835
>not an argument
Do you honestly believe you should just sit and watch your christian brothers be murdered instead of help them?
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2d5bac No.818837
>>818835
If your position is actually true you could show it via scripture
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fd250e No.827076
>>818743
Here's a thought: they didnt resist.
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166a5a No.827082
>>818509
I'm on the same page anon, except I kept going in my engineering studies. Would you mind saying how exactly you're going down the 3rd path? Do you have a job?
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053002 No.827135
>My studies will not make me closer to God in any way. Yet I feel the pressure to finish my studies: I do not want to see the disappointment on my parents face.
You're wrong. Exodus 20:12 and Deuteronomy 5:16, the Fifth Commandment:
>Honor your father and your mother, so that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you.
Finishing your studies will honor your parents, upholding the commandment and thus honoring God.
>The only thing that I wish is to do something to help the poor; to join a monastic order. But I am to scared of what that implies.
Your college can probably help you land either job; mine is associated with at least two seminaries and plenty of food kitchens and shelters. Ask your dean or academic adviser for details.
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04e6eb No.827555
>>818744
I guess someone forgot to sell their cloak and buy a sword.
>>818830
>lack of discernment is my enlightenment
Bruh.
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df9491 No.836738
Feels like I've written them myself.
My priest thinks I could go from graduating in Engineering to some degree in Theology, if I so wished. Yet, I am uncertain about life. I think very little about the future, purposefully. Still, it haunts me.
If OP could provide an update, I would be very happy. How are you holding, etc.
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899472 No.836822
Yeah OP, give us an update. I didn't read the whole thread for free. Entertain me with your future.
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