35af58 No.722985[Last 50 Posts]
Post your successes/troubles.
The responsibility is yours. Since you're the man you are the driving force behind starting a relationship. It is your job to do the first move as it is to lead all other moves.
Women seek stability. A woman is like a flower that grows towards God. A man is more like a stick. He can direct the married couple towards God. If both of them are flowers, then they stay in mud.
>Be yourself
Be confident about who you are. It will give you a special aura around yourself
>Work on your confidence
Start at nofap thread, eliminate porn and masturbation from your life. Increase your testosterone levels by working out…./fit/
>Get hobbies
If you lack interests, you are less interesting to women. Women want men of action.
>Visit places where high quality women hang out
Church, library, your hobbies…
>Become more educated about your faith
If you want a good Christian girl you should study scriptures. If she takes her faith seriously she will probably be impressed.
Your future wife probably will not just appear out of nothing and ask you out. It is your job when she appears all of sudden to be confident enough to ask her out and handle that situation.
Purity thread:
https://8ch.net/christian/res/405648.html
If any of you guys have some useful meta, please post it so we can include it in the future to the OP.
____________________________
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19ca20 No.795435
>>795218
>>795220
>>795219
That's pretty much what I'm doing, but I wanted to run it by you guys first. It was dumb to ask her out that night, but it felt natural and I'm inclined to listen to that. Next time I see her I'll try to get it across that I can provide help somewhat.
Thanks guys. Brofist.
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df08f7 No.795535
>>795424
>Just give up and accept that it's over. It never even began.
What are you talking about?
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35c17a No.795541
>>795391
Anon let those unwanted thoughts float through your mind and pass away. Return to your Jesus prayer. As long as we return to our Jesus prayer the demonic attacks will never be successful.
Lord Jesus Christ, son of God, have mercy on me a sinner.
Lord Jesus Christ, son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner.
This video might help.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=FOmQ9JqQwMs
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df08f7 No.795929
>>795541
will do. Prayer is the only way to avoid thots.
>>792792
We went out again, just for a walk and it was a pleasant experience. I did not have to "make up" any topics for conversation, it flowed easily, no long silences. I will probably pursue this because I like her style and she really looks like a chaste girl. Also she is beautiful but that is secondary.
Perhaps the jerusalem cross was a good sign after all.
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76b961 No.796279
A girl i know seems to be interested in me. But i'm pretty sure she's a feminist and all that jazz..she's very young, virgin and inexperienced ( she didn't even kiss yet kek ), but don't worry about the legality, it's legal. I like to talk to her, she's very fun but there is all this ideological stumbling block..should i try to convert her or just drop it entirely? Thanks in advance.
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df08f7 No.796284
>>796279
>should i try to convert her or just drop it entirely
Eventually if you date her? of course.
At the spot before you date her? perhaps not. would not go the way you want anyway.
>she's very young, virgin and inexperienced
That's good.
>she's a feminist and all that jazz
Depends on how feminist she is but it can be handled if she is mild feminist. Men shape their women's opinions more than we think.
You should find out if you want to pursue the girl or not. If yes…go for it, if not, drop it. Worry about such things as conversion later. Either it will come out naturally or it won't. Nobody will tell you if it will work out based on parameters X Y Z, you have to find our yourself
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76b961 No.796297
>>796284
yeah thanks for the response. Even though i haven't talked to her much i think she's a good girl, i just hope i don't lose my head endlessly debating her back and forth, i don't have much patience and feel very tense for these things.
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df08f7 No.796348
>>796297
You do not need to debate some things. Women follow men. If you happen to date her from the beginning just be the one in charge(setting things up, leading the way).
When it comes to "debates" take it in a light manner and just explain why you believe feminism/whatever to be false.
I shaped my ex to a large extent during months time into admitting feminism is garbage. starting point: "muh men"
I just did not support her larping as emancipated and showed her that she will not lead. She respected it.
But one should not expect to take up 100% of your opinions, she will not align 100% but to a large extent those things adjust themselves if you work your way towards it steadily. At the end of my last relationship I was able to freely condemn feminism, faggotry, globalism and other things in the harshest sense and mostly she would agree.
tl dr; worry less about the starting point of opinions. What is more important: chastity, virginity, character, faith, kindness, etc. Her political opinions are secondary, she is a woman and will follow.
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76b961 No.796370
>>796348
All right. Thank you for the advice!
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db7b98 No.796399
>>796370
you're welcome. Good thing you managed to read it now the posts will probably disappear soon. lol
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442178 No.796488
>>796284
>feminist
Immediate red flag
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d678aa No.796513
>>796488
Young women are feminist by default nowadays. Maybe trying to "convert" a feminist-lite isn't that much of a bad idea.
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2acf1a No.796925
So I have been going out with this girl, a catholic. She is pretty and we do have many things in common although we've been out three times. The only downside is that she is younger than me and I would probably have to wait a bit for her to finish studies….but this might be settled in the meantime. I resolved to give it a free flow..because I already fell for the girl to a large extent. I am glad God sent her to my way. I could be wrong but judging so far this could as well be a girl that I would not mind devoting myself to. Also since we have similar interests it will be easy not to get bored with her.
Looking forward to meeting her again and I have seen her today. So we'll see hopefully I won't ruin it by my autism. But she already gets the idea I am a nationalist minded and she seems to be ok with that…she even seemed to be pleasantly surprised. So that is a whitepill
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4823d9 No.797345
Checking into this thread as I do ever couple of weeks or so. Gonna be 24 in 2 months and still unmarried and never had a GF. Hope fades by the day. I read every post here hoping something will help me or lead me to success but nothing works. I will keep checking in though. One day it’ll hit me right… someone will have the answer I’m looking for… surely.
We live in a clown world where a 23 year old stem graduate homeowner devout Christian can’t even get one woman to like him. Sin has destroyed this planet. Lord, Have Mercy!
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2acf1a No.797446
>>797345
Hey anon. Do you actively seek? I mean no offense. Just that mindset/your approach to the whole thing has an immense effect.
Also the character traits play a great role. No offense meant here again. What I mean to say is that men overestimate looks and financial security(those play the largest part for thots - that is not the type you're looking for) over confidence and your masculinity. One often sees a beautiful girl with not so much beautiful guy and if you know them it's not about cash (always), they're good together because he;s a stable point for her…
I always thought I am no good. As far as looks and money are concerned. That lowered my self esteem…that ruined my chances. When I got my stuff together and gained a healthy self esteem I feel like I do not have much problems asking the girl out
What do you see as the ultimate issue/obstacle in finding wife/gf?
I know we live in a clown world…but there surely is a wife for you out there…perhaps the only thing holding you down is your approach to things.
>Sin has destroyed this planet. Lord, Have Mercy!
That's all true but we're going to make it. If God is with us, who is against? Let's rise in spirits and stride with disdain through the swamps of modern world untouched by its decay.
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3aa316 No.797450
>>797345
Just got my now-GF of 6 months at age 25. I wouldn’t change a thing, it’s been worth the wait. Don’t be a doomer it’s bad for your mental and physical health.
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e8251c No.797452
Should I seek a girlfriend if I don't have the income to raise a family?
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4409a1 No.797664
>>797450
> Do you actively seek?
I have actively tried to date, using both secular methods and faithful methods. In college (graduated 2 years ago), I was active in both secular (engineering clubs) activities and faithful ones (weekly bible study and worship). There just weren't alot of women, and the ones that were there wanted nothing to do with me. I don't regret doing this things; I actively enjoyed them. But there were no women wanting to become Mrs. Anon.
>What do you see as the ultimate issue/obstacle in finding wife/gf?
Opportunity. People, both in real life and online, have told me so many solutions to my problem that I've lost count. Just do this… Just do that… be good looking… looks don't matter it's all confidence… I've heard it all. I don't really know or care who's right, I just want a wife. But I get no opportunity to even meet women. Or talk to them. I could get good looking, but none would see me. I could become confident and personable, but none would be around to see it. I could flaunt my "money" (I probably make more than the average 23 year-old), but none would see the it. You now see the issue… I have no exposure to women at all. I can't even diagnose the problem if I can't run test to study it!
To add, I'm not particularly tall or good looking, though I am not overweight and take care of myself enough to appear normal. I have Asperger's Syndrome and I am extremely inexperienced with women. I'm not particularly desirable "on paper", FWIW.
>>797446
elab on how.
Also, I'm no doomer, I'm fully happy and repentant. But I am a doomer regarding women, they seem to have abandoned good men. My suffering is alot for one man to bear.
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2acf1a No.797723
>>797452
yes. You will get that when you date the girl if you intend to have the family. I suppose you do not want to be without income for ever.
>>797664
Interesting. Did you ask out the girls in the college that you intended to date? Like women won't ask you out on their own. If you asked many girls out and actively seeked them out I would consider it strange that you had no girlfriend at all.
Look I am going to be honest I am not an expert on women, I do not want to pose like one. I do what works in my area and for me. Besides the studies I go to church, attend the events around that church and then I have lot of contacts, if there are women that I consider nice I try to ask them out. Sure some will reject me, but some will go out you know.
So my take on this would be to change the fact why you have no exposure to women. Is there not any way for you to meet them (preferably around church or something like that, I am not implying you should go to bar and talk to thots of course). In my area it can sometimes be harsh, but it is not impossible to meet women in this manner.
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2acf1a No.797726
All right guys I want to share this. You remember me talking about the girl with the Jerusalem cross/rosary bracelet? >>792792
I was on verge whether to ask her out or not...you see I got work right now, I am overloaded with it. But she made a strong impression. I saw her on a mass again and I just resolved to ask her out, she was stuck in my mind. The next thing I knew she has more than half of interests same as me and showed every possible sign that she wants to meet me again.. I was not really in love after the first date(I liked her though) but I fell for her strongly after the third for sure.
The last time we were out: she made a sign of cross before eating (seldom I have seen that, I would like to do that but unluckily I almost always forget). And other things...she seems to be devout in her faith. Maybe even more than I am, she just does not really larp about it.. She is beautiful and kind. Just thinking about it at length after meeting her today I do not understand why God sent this girl into my path. I did not deserve even a mere chance of asking her out if I consider how sinful I was and still am.
I will pray tonight just to thank God. I know this is for a large part my mind being infatuated with the girl...but this time it is different. Looks came in the second place and I started liking her after I got to know who she is...and her character. This girl is a high quality woman for sure.
As I have said I have deserved none of this. I am puzzled.
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4dc991 No.797727
>>797726
Congrats, anon! Hope all goes well with your pursuit and you manage to start a nice family.
> I did not deserve even a mere chance of asking her out if I consider how sinful I was and still am.
Be careful not to put her on a pedestal though. She is also human and a sinner.
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4ae318 No.797728
>>797726
God bless you anon! If God put her in your path there is a reason! You can do it!
also this >>797727
God first and foremost
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c39de0 No.797740
We made the switch from a NO parish to the FSSP in January and my husband has now decided to do RCIA. Three years at the NO parish did nothing for him, but after only four months at the FSSP he now wants to begome. Praise God!!
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091209 No.797882
I haven't had a woman my age so much as give me a hug that she truly meant in almost a year now. Sage for depression.
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2acf1a No.797887
>>797728
>>797727
Thanks anons. Yeah I know I should watch myself so I do not put her too highly. From what I gathered so far she is the woman I was looking for in so many respects so that's why I am saying I do not think did not deserve this.
I will wait with the whole relationship a bit. There's no hurry I want to know her better. Thanks for response.
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091209 No.798416
>>797740
That is great news, do you know what specifically about the FSSP changed his mind? Or do you think it was just the general traditional mindset of the services that did it for him? I think you should still BEGOME ORDODOX, but this is still happy news
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c39de0 No.798757
>>798416
I think it is because the liturgy really emphasizes that the focus of the entire Mass is on Christ's sacrifice of the Eucharist being recreated, that was a big paradigm shift coming from the NO where the focus seemed to us to be mostly on the priest's homily. My husband has said he wants to learn how to suffer better and that this is going to be a practice that will show him how to do that. There are also usually always six or so altar boys serving at a time except for low Mass and we definitely want our son to participate in this when he is older. The FSSP parish is also really family oriented compared to our old church, there are lots of other young couples our age with kids and there's frequently time for socializing after Mass with snacks and refreshments, it feels like a real community here and we're hopeful we will make friends here soon. And plus it's knspiring to see a whole pew filled with a beautiful family full of kids; that's our goal some day and it's great to be around other people who are living the dream and can be role models for us.
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fb5d19 No.799744
I’ve been dating this girl for 3 months and we’ve talked about the possibility of marriage and kids a little while ago. She was very into it and was so bubbly and excited but last night she confessed she hates the idea of having kids and feels like marriage would ruin her life plans. I tried to talk with her about and tell her that marriage isn’t about ruining your life to be with someone else but the exact opposite and how great kids are but I know this will take a while. She also said she’s not into sex,apparently, never has been and evem now doesn’t think of a husband as soembody you have sex with and have a family with but “some one you loves you a alot alot alot alot and will always be there for you.” She’s really great and loves Christ but she has that young millennial view of “I only have one life and I’m not letting someone else ruin it in anyway.” (Basically YOLO now that I think about it). Ive had to rationalities her away from abortion being okay, before and last night got pretty far hopefully in why gay rights aren’t godly even if it “doesn’t hurt anyone” (also explained that it hurts the LORD). I don’t know guys there’s a lot to unbundle here. We finished talking 5 hours ago and I’m still processing. I'm very hurt by how she lead me on and seems to want to just be stuck in happy dating times forever.
This is part venting and part me asking your guys’ opinion. Should I keep trying and praying for her mind to be change? Or if no progress is shown in a few months or a year, part ways with her. Mind you this isn’t just some random girl for me. I’ve had a crush since last May and felt like she may truly be the one, but this is a devastating blow to my heart.
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a8195b No.799748
>>799744
Maybe she is thinking that you will absolutely want to have kids right away.
That could be quite frightening (at least in times where the whole word tells you that having kids is the worst thing you can harm yourself with - obviously wrong).
Marriage without consummation until later is a possibility and your (hopefully) good influence may change her mind.
God with you, brother.
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e6605a No.799749
>>799744
How old is she? She sounds really immature. That isn't necessarily a bad thing. Girls need to be told what to do. She says she's not interested in sex but you know that's bs. She won't say that once she isn't virgin anymore. I would say don't try to rush anything though. It's only been 3 months. You musn't look needy, so just let her subtly know that your goal is to marry and have kids, and that if it's not with her it'll be with someone else. If she really cares about you she'll change her mind in a heartbeat.
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091209 No.799751
>>798757
>there's frequently time for socializing after Mass with snacks and refreshments, it feels like a real community here and we're hopeful we will make friends here soon
This aspect alone makes or breaks a church, I'm glad your family found one that the parishioners stick around for coffee hour!
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1cf5af No.799903
>>797664
>I have Asperger's Syndrome
Hello fellow sperg, I can relate. I don't have any issues with talking to women at all, but flirting/asking them out is basically uncharted territory.
>>799744
She seems to be a rather naive person. Try and change her mind, but if she's hellbent on not having kids then I don't think you're compatible
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2acf1a No.800738
>>797726
I told her I like her and she said she does as well. This is great news for me. I tend to be a bit larpy about my faith but this girl seems to be as grounded in faith as much as my larpiness sometimes goes. Also she dresses very modestly, yet attractively. She indicated that we should not "rush things". As I realize now some things may have come out as a bit too early like her visiting my apartment. Other girls did not mind that earlier than her…although it was quite obvious that there was no ill motivation. I get that she does not know me well to know I do not have any ill intentions with her. And I have a great respect for her saying this. I did not "rush" anything at all, I just held her hand when I told her I like her. Since she hugged me afterwards with saying she does too…the issue must have been us meeting at my place once before.
I mean…how many girls do you meet nowadays like that.
Either this is the girl for me or God sent her in my way to shape me into a good man, to hold myself to a higher standard.
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3c2118 No.800753
>>799749
>>799903
>>799748
Thanks for the advice guys. She is kinda young so it may just be her acting childish. Im her first boyfriend and she’s my first girlfriend so we’re both new to this. She’s told me “Before you I figure I would have lots of dogs and die alone lol”, but then she also told me earlier in the week that “marriage requires a change in all your life goals and all you planned out” so she seems to want to die alone for some reason??? I support her career plans but I’m not sure what the problem is with all this flip flopping. I think the best to do for know is keep quiet on any semblance of marriage and kids for a while and just focus on growing closer to each other and God. She’s not talking to be right now cause she wanted a “break” til Friday so any advice for what to say tomorrow would be greatly appreciated. Thank you and God Bless!
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e6605a No.800755
>>800753
Just spend some good time with her dude. Women don't know what the winnie the pooh they want, so you have to tell her what to do, but that should come later.
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8a1441 No.800807
>>794797
>no mattress even
I know that feel, anon.
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2acf1a No.800930
>>800753
As the other anon said. Take it like a light rain that passes. You need to know her anyway to marry her right? So the only way is to spend time with her and then you'll see. Women have no idea what they want. All of them.
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a6a82d No.800954
is it possible to find a cute black girl in glasses who is christian or am i hunting unicorns? also is it sinful for me to fetishize a race like this?
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a6a82d No.800957
>>794797
>It sucks being alone, but being with someone you hate is about a billion times worse
but i hate myself
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b83bbe No.800960
>>800957
On a regular imageboard we would tell you to Kill Yourself.
But on this imageboard we tell you to Improve Yourself!
You're welcome.
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b83bbe No.800962
>>800954
>Is it possible
All things are possible with the Lord
> to find a cute black girl in glasses
Likely
>in glasses
Probably
>who is christian
eh not impossible
>(who falls in love with me is implied here right)
Good luck anon.
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8a26a5 No.800965
>>800954
If you are a black man than it doesn't matter. But it sounds like you aren't. Wanting a woman of only a specific race (that isn't your own) would mean you are fetishizing race. When you are ready, God will put a good woman in your path of His choosing.
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2acf1a No.801330
Hey guys. OP here. After two years of searching and self improvement God seems to have awarded me with finding good woman. I do not want to get ahead of mysel but so far everything seems to come out naturally, she never had a boyfriend so she does not have any baggage nor any expectations. The last few days I just praise God and thanHim that he lead me this way. Now I will have even better motivation to work out and be better since the girl seems to already be here.
Thanks for reading my blogpost.
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583c5a No.801364
>>801330
Congratulations, OP! Best of luck and many blessings for the both of you!
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2acf1a No.801735
>>801364
Thanks. I will try to do my best not to screw this up. The good thing is that she never had a boyfriend therefore I do not need to play any games. I'll just be myself and it will come naturally.
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e6605a No.802261
>>801330
Godspeed OP. Thank you for what you've done here.
Can you greentext your story or do you want to wait for now?
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380c54 No.802315
I'm dating a girl who is a Christian but she has some liberal tendencies. She supports female pastors and says women shouldn't be slut shamed for how they dress, despite dressing reasonably modestly herself. How do I convince her she's wrong?
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a2b4a8 No.802362
>>802315
Show her the Bible quotes that go against those ideas. If she tries to squirm around that, see if your denomination has an official statement on the matter to show her.
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2acf1a No.802401
This is what I dislike about women. They have a special sense for men who are in relationship, that in process increases their value in women's eyes and then women go hit on them evenif they were not interested them were they single in the first place.
I am old enough to fall for this but it amazes me every time. This time too…2-3 girls right after you start dating someone show their head after longer time
>hey Anon let's hang out
>Anon I heard this cool song right now lmao.
Every. single. time.
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2acf1a No.802416
>>802261
Oh yes…the catholic guy. Hope you're doing fine.
I do not want to get ahead of myself We've been dating for a very short time…but you know I wasn't haunted by her looks, rather by her inner beauty which shone in a way I could not explain at first, it drove me crazy so I just had to ask her out and we found out we have many things in common and we like each other. I know we will probably clash a bit about politics since my opinions are….considered edgy by most people, also she will be oblivious about our pope etc. But that is a different matter, I do not care right now. In the essential matters she will be conservative for sure. After all she is very devout….more than me(even including all my larping), she dresses modestly and she is probably the last person that would fornicate. The only downside is the age. If she will make it a point for her to finish her studies, even if I could secure her in future, I would have to wait for years. Never mind…we're not there yet and I have resolved to give this a chance.
My summary:
>Blue pilled lukewarm autist
>Took red pill during election
>crashed a relationship with a very good girl because I was not prepared for it
>Soon realized I have to change myself to become something better than I am
>realize I just make my ancestors look bad and ashamed
>addressed the porn/fap question first
>started working out
>became nationalist, proud of my heritage
>Came back to Christ - most important of all
>took up about 3 new hobbies
>Started socializing for the first time in my life
>realize that girls actually like me, just me being autist kept me from talking to them
>Few relationships in the meantime
>Found /christian/ on 8ch
>Turns out my sperginess from chans does some harm so I tone it down a bit
>Last relationship crashed because of lack of common interests
>Resolved to have a break from it all because muh work
>a girl I knew appeared, dressed modestly but very attractively, Jerusalem cross, rosary bracelet.
>Hey anon how are you doing
>Let's go to church together
>fugg.jpg
From then it went just naturally. I did not have to do any "game" or bs such as that. I did not even have to try to make jokes/conversation. It feels like if I did not read anything about dating girls, did not date any girls before and was just an honest guy it would go that way just the same.
So that's it. It feels liberating…for the second time in my life I feel like I do not need to play any acts, any game, nothing. Just be myself and it's enough.
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7cd5bd No.802681
>be me
>shy guy
>on lunch break at college
>grab food and sit alone at a big table
>feeling super bored, depressed, and all-around hopeless when it comes to dating
>go to next class
>black woman (mid-20s) sits next to me
>i'm not typically attracted to black women, but this woman is very pretty
>after taking our test, the professor hands out a bonus experiment
>we have to pick a partner and make a "child", with its features being determined through some silly coin-flipping process
>black woman turns to me, puts her hand on my arm, and looks into my eyes
<"Do you want to make a baby with me?"
>we do some minor flirting here and there while doing the experiment
God works in mysterious ways… my day was quite miserable until that lady brought joy and a bit of hope into my life. If only white women weren't so difficult to converse with.
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025c6f No.802744
>gf left me on Sunday.
>trouble eating, trouble sleeping and I've lost all motivation to study for my exams in a couple weeks.
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e29a88 No.802770
>>802744
It'll get better anon. Trust me. But more importantly, trust God. For tits are temporary but salvation is eternal.
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3aa316 No.802772
>>802681
Yikes, sounds kinda slutty tbh.
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5c83f7 No.802787
>>787617
>>787569
St. Francis of Sales wrote the following teaching about balls in 1600s France:
>Balls and similar gatherings are wont to attract all that is bad and vicious; all the quarrels, envyings, slanders, and indiscreet tendencies of a place will be found collected in the ballroom. While people’s bodily pores are opened by the exercise of dancing, the heart’s pores will be also opened by excitement … while you were dancing, souls were groaning in hell by reason of sins committed when similarly occupied, or in consequence thereof.
Do you think his lesson also applies to modern nightclubs?
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366375 No.802788
>>802770
I've prayed to God to ask for wisdom as to what the bigger picture is here because with the suddenness of the breakup it feels as if this is a springboard into something else soon. So far I have gotten into playing piano again and during the summer might try and attend some jam sessions at the local jazz club so idk maybe that has something to do with it? You're right though Anon I need to trust in God. He's been there for me many times before and countless times when I didn't even know it. God bless you, brother
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e6605a No.802795
>>802416
I didn't know you were an apex chad thundercock anon. Congrats I guess. Would you say it's okay to get into several relationships before finding the right one? I feel like I shouldn't ask a girl out lightheartedly, but it sounds like that's what you did. How did you manage the break ups? Were they Christian? Were did you meet them?
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6d8d84 No.802804
>>802787
Nightclubs are demonic
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2acf1a No.802806
>>802795
>apex chad thundercock
I would not call myself that lol. I am an average guy.
> Would you say it's okay to get into several relationships before finding the right one?
Yes and no. There's nothing wrong with the relationship if you go out with the girl, talk to her, go to church together, hold hands, etc. This is how you get to know the girl. If the "relationship" would include fornication, then that would be very very bad. First you sin against God. Second it will tie you down to a girl that might not be the one. Either way you lose if you let yourself be tempted by devil to fornicate(Even masturbate or anything of the sexual sort with the girl)
For my case…I see no other way than trial/error trusting God that he will guide me to the right girl for me. He has already toughened me against fornication so now I feel really alive in this sense. I literally care for one thing: to meet a good girl, get to know her, marry her, have kids. In this order.
>I feel like I shouldn't ask a girl out lightheartedly, but it sounds like that's what you did
Not exactly. I asked her out because she seemed to be high quality girl and she had this aura around her I could not explain(in other words I fell in love with her personality first, then her looks). Then when we were drinking coffee I realized she's very beautiful and that we are very similar in our tastes.
The last time I asked a girl out in a lighthearted manner was two years ago, and it did not go further than coffee because she was an outright thot. I regretted wasting my time. I asked her out only based on looks, not knowing her. Did not do that ever since. It;s a waste of time.
> How did you manage the break ups?
The breakups are difficult, yes. Sometimes easier, sometimes harder, But there is a breakup only if you tell the girl your feels, which is later than going out for few walks with her anyway…so I had to do this just two times during the last two years, the other "breakups" were more of that we stopped talking, then just did not go out.
The last breakup was difficult a bit because the girl was attached to me and I knew it would not work. I also learned that fornication is the worst thing you can do(capitain obvious). We did not fornicate but were I not watchful it could have easily happened. Basically straightening my stuff together with God made me realize that my judgement was clouded by her body, in which I was not interested anyway since I did not want to sin against God. Clearing my head from lust also cleared my mind about the prospects of me marrying the girl one day. It would not work
This time I will do it right all the way…Even when it comes to kissing. I will kiss her on the cheek but will wait few months. Then perhaps on the mouth but that;s it before marriage. Otherwise devil will get you on the slippery slope.
>Were they Christian? Were did you meet them?
They were/are all christian. The girl I go out now with is very devout so even for this I am grateful to God. She will be the last person to tempt me, unlike college thots on campus.
I met them all in church/around church.
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7cd5bd No.802942
>>802772
I got the vibe she has thing for white guys and a dirty sense of humor is all, the latter of which I'm guilty of as well. Nevertheless, that was just the confidence boost I needed.
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e6605a No.803118
>>802806
>I am an average guy
The average guy here is an incel anon.
>Not exactly.
I was referring to this :
>>802416
>>Few relationships in the meantime
>>802806
>I met them all in church/around church.
How the hell do you not get into all kind of troubles? There aren't so many people in a parish, everybody will know if you've been with someone, and you will meet a girl again even after your break up. I wonder what it's like, people seeing you at the church with a new girl every couple of months? How do you avoid the drama?
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9fa6ac No.803122
Today is my 2 month marriage anniversary to my Asian Christian wife. Feel blessed and thank God every day. It's everything I have dreamed of. Hope you guys find your Christian wife.
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2acf1a No.803136
>>803118
Yeah well…two of them were the kind of relationships when we both said we like each other so there was a breakup. There was one instance when the girl had a boyfriend and said no(I was a fool to go out with her but I was badly in love….she was orthodox though), in the other instances it was few coffees with both of us seeing it leads nowhere.
So i guess it could appear lighthearted not knowing the details…. but I never took it that way and I think the girls did not think I just chase them for satisfying my lust or something of the sort.
>The average guy here is an incel anon.
perhaps…but irl I really am an average looking guy, nothing special about me except for my autism. My "success" with asking women out comes from me defeating masturbation and porn. That helped me find my confidence.
> I wonder what it's like, people seeing you at the church with a new girl every couple of months? How do you avoid the drama?
Well first of all not all of them are regular attendees in church. Second I never asked them out with dishonest intentions and even the two breakups were calm and honest with both sides eventually agreeing it is the best way. The first one was actually quicker than me to say she thinks we should just end it.
Third most of them did not come to church with me… The first one "did not have time for mass". The second went few times just because of me, she did not really want to go herself I think. This girl would go even without me as I have said I admire her faith/.
Of course if my intentions were dishonest and carried out, it would be bad. I really do not feel any bad vibes from the girls I asked out when I meet them. With one we're still good friends.
Oh and I do not ask them out in church or church events obviously…in my area there are more communities to go to anyway.
I do not care about chasing women. Tbh I would be glad if the first woman I asked out was the right one for me but that did not happen.
If this is the one I will praise the Lord. If not I will have to keep searching….and that is just tiresome.
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3aa316 No.803142
>>803118
>The average guy here is an incel anon.
citation needed. Volcel until marriage here, and in a stable relationship.
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2acf1a No.803460
>>803142
>Volcel until marriage here, and in a stable relationship.
Congrats on both!
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82e557 No.803471
>>803122
>>803122
Sip those monsters
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e5aad7 No.808042
I am happy right now. Really God has granted me a chance. Now I should not screw it up
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8e276a No.808874
Hi everyone! I am feeling really disheartened with dating.
I'm a young woman looking for a life that honours God. I'm having massive trouble finding somebody who wants the same. My church is older adults/elderly. I've been to a large young adult bible study at another church but it's too far for me to get to consistently. I try to make friends at university. I'm very socially shy/anxious but I'm trying my best to step outside my comfort zone.
I am getting concerned about my romantic future. I feel hopeless. I pray and tell God about my worries all the time. I want a partner in life and children. I want a lot of children. I feel called to raise a bunch of little rugrats on a homestead in the middle of nowhere. I've been having dark thoughts of forgetting about my calling to be a mother and commit myself to academia. I know I must wait on God's timing for something as massive as a life partner but it's HARD when I feel like my biological clock is ticking every day.
I only found God about a year and a half ago. I'm not perfect by most standards but I am trying my best to live properly. I feel too messed up for a devout man, but too religious for an agnostic/average man.
I started working out regularly, I focus on studies, I am practicing crafts/home skills. I am bettering myself as much as I can. I don't know if I have a question here, just posting my troubles. How do you guys wait on God's timing patiently? Do you think your partner is predetermined?
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f407fe No.808884
I'm about 3 days away from 6 months with my gf. Dating a Christian girl is much better than any secular one, I hope every anon here has the opportunity to do so. This weekend we're going to Gatlinburg together with my family and we're both really excited for it. I feel really blessed, and I think everything in my life is starting to come together in this nice little crescendo towards the end of my college career. I don't see a wedding in the near future just yet - it's still quite a bit early for that - but I hope it's in God's plan for me someday.
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188ac9 No.808914
>>808874
>This entire post
This is so ridiculously wholesome and I love it! I love hearing that women still want children and want the lifestyle you desire. But onto your post in detail:
If you don't mind sharing you are age, how old are you? I know it can be seen as rude to ask a woman her age but I think it might allow for me/us to better understand your fear/worries.
Glad to hear that you found God and you have allowed him in your heart. I feel exactly the same constantly, that I am much too broken and sinful to be properly loved. However, as painful as those feelings are, I feel they are necessary and allow you to see your mistakes much more lucidly.
To answer your questions: Waiting on God's timing is really difficult, but I see these moments as training before a big fight. You want the desired event so badly but these moments are here to strengthen you and rid you of your flaws rather than create more. You know yourself better than I do so I really hope you can be honest with yourself and be open to criticisms from others about your flaws. Always remain humble and stay focused. I don't really know if partners are predetermined but I do think people come into your life for various reasons so try to foster as many meaningful relationships that you can. You might not even notice the man who you end up falling in love with immediately. I know what it is like to be shy/anxious but do not let that stop you from finding happiness. You would be surprised what people find attractive or cute.
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e5aad7 No.808948
>>808874
>woman on 8ch
What. I do not want to imply that I doubt that…but I certainly would not expect it.
>the entire post
You're doing great. Prayer is the most essential in awaiting the partner. If you keep the pace up the guy who was sorted by God as your partner will be a lucky one.
>How do you guys wait on God's timing patiently?
I go trial/error asking girls out, getting experience with how to interact with them. Besides that doing self improvement and praying.
Of course, woman is not supposed to ask the guy outright so this part is not exactly for you.
>Do you think your partner is predetermined?
Perhaps or there are more options for you to choose for. However it is, there is the right partner for us, one should prepare for that moment. But I think we do have several options anyway…what matters if we pick the best we can.
Right now I started dating a great girl….now it seems like two years of self improvement was just God preparing me for this special person. It feels…strange. only once in my life I was so deeply in love with the girl because of who she was. Of course I won't jump to conclusions, long way to go to marriage but this last month all I am doing is thanking God.
>>808884
based. congrats
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e5aad7 No.808950
>>808914
>>808874
>Waiting on God's timing is really difficult, but I see these moments as training before a big fight.
This. Dating is nice. But eventually one learns the most by being single in the terms of self improvement. When the partner is already there you will have less time and energy for that. He's not there yet..one feels anxious, sure, but you got the time to work on yourself and you're doing it for your life partner.
One learns a lot by break-ups too. After few wholesome relationships you might get good experience as to what you want in the future. I am not saying crush relationship on purpose. Go where God leads you….perhaps you will marry the first guy you date, perhaps few of them will be a lesson from God to you. Take it all with gratitude. Our earthly journey is a way towards God. Priesthood/celibacy or marriage are ways towards that. If you are called for marriage you are not just "preparing yourself for the partner" you are preparing yourself for the msot important thing …. for eternity. God should be the most important element in every relationship. What you are doing is that you prepare for this.
Temporary solitude is a gift from God to you…he gives you space you need for preparing yourself.
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14cc19 No.808956
> tfw you think everything is going great but she drops an "I still have some doubts. "
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7cd5bd No.808990
>>808874
I can very much relate to this, especially when it comes to shyness/social anxiety and feeling like an outcast. People say I'm very "traditional", but of course, I've never met a woman who's the same way.
>I've been having dark thoughts of forgetting about my calling to be a mother and commit myself to academia
Becoming a career woman with no kids is about one of the most unfulfilling life choices you could ever make. For your sake, I really hope you don't go down that path.
>I know I must wait on God's timing for something as massive as a life partner but it's HARD when I feel like my biological clock is ticking every day
I can only imagine how difficult that must be… nevertheless, you must stay strong even when things seem hopeless. One day, you'll be rewarded for your efforts.
>I'm not perfect by most standards but I am trying my best to live properly
None of us are perfect, of course.
>I feel too messed up for a devout man
I think you're being too hard on yourself. I wouldn't consider myself "devout" (I certainly try), however I've taken an interest in various "messed up" women before who also liked me, and they started to express an interest in having kids (which drove me nuts, because I really want kids), however I never asked them out partly because I'm shy, but also because I had my doubts due to them sinning terribly and not caring to repent or otherwise be reformed by the teachings of Jesus Christ, instead acting as if the world owed them a favor. So no matter how messed up you may be, know that repentance may be a quality that will make or break a guy's attraction to you.
>but too religious for an agnostic/average man
As you should! Never settle for an atheist man; they'll drag you down, disrespect the Faith out of spite towards you, play mind games, and make you more miserable than you ever could imagine.
>How do you guys wait on God's timing patiently?
By knowing that I need to continue improving myself until I'm truly ready for a devout Christian woman.
>Do you think your partner is predetermined?
I believe God may work in our lives to introduce that special someone to us (or vice versa) once we're both ready, however we can't sit around and expect it to happen to us one day. Continue bettering yourself, sister, and God bless you on your journey!
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8e276a No.808993
Thank you for the responses everybody! Just to be clear, I have been in 2 relationships before. Last one ended 3 years ago. I've done the trial and error thing.
>>808914
I'm 23, 24 in half a year. Thank you for your words of reassurance. I am open to criticisms from others and I've been working on issues I think are limiting my success. Thank you!
>>808948
It's my first time on 8ch, first post even. I saw there is a Christianity board and felt happy because 4chan can be pretty gross. I understand what you're saying about self improvement, but I'm in the best place I've been in years (arguably ever). I feel ready for a forever partner but I guess God decides that, not me. Thank you.
>>808950
"Temporary solitude is a gift from God to you…" Thank you for this, I'm actually going to write it on a sticky note to put on my desk.
>>808990
I agree with you about the career woman thing. I couldn't see a life without a husband and children. I don't want that path in life but my lack of faith is making me contemplate it. I agree about the atheist man thing. Years and years ago I dated an atheist and his soul was so dark. The relationship ended up being extremely damaging to me. Thank you.
re: everyone: These responses have given me a lot to reflect on. Although I feel I've progressed greatly and I'm antsy to settle down, I probably have a lot more to work on to be ready to receive that gift from God. Folly on my part. Thank you. :)
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0ebc7d No.809191
>>808956
I know that feel…
>Anon I….
>I do not know why I did not tell you I am unsure about my feelings when you said you liked me….
Always hurts
>>808993
> I feel ready for a forever partner but I guess God decides that, not me.
I understand. A year ago I was like "hey I already gave up masturbation, I work out, I read, I am on my way of having a good job…I go to church…so where's the girl already????"
I have to say that asking several girls out and desperately working on myself for yet another year made me a better person and even though I met an awesome girl 9 months ago, we started dating only recently. Now those 2 years of self improvement seem to have been a training session for having my stuff together and I am glad.
Actually this lent I got particularly larpy about it all, made many plans for it and called it always "building the new man". As larpy as it was…there was truth in it and it worked to certain extent. When God touched me with me falling in love with one girl, now it really feels like the very end of lent was a dawn of something new for me.
>I probably have a lot more to work on to be ready to receive that gift from God. Folly on my part.
It might be closer than you think. I always adopted this mindset when I was sad. "God judges I am not still ready, work more" it works to an extent to push you out of your comfort zone and it is great unless you overdo it. Remember it might be closer than you think. Pray.
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e6605a No.809209
I don't really think I am ready to marry. I am 25 and in good shape, about to start a new job, but I'm clueless about so many things. I still have some kind of social anxiety, and I still kinda hate myself. I thank God for the time I spend alone, because I learn and progress so much during these times.
All that being said, I'm still looking for "the one". I had a question about this that wanted to ask: how do you know whether a girl wants to settle down/is looking for a partner? Do you just have to know her well enough until it becomes clear? Or are there other signs? Or maybe we should just date them regardless then shove it down their throat that they must marry.
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83c0ec No.809210
>>809209
There's no need to shove it down their throats, just be honest with them about your end goal. That goal being you wish to marry and bring children in this world for the greater glory of God. If she doesn't want be a part of it, move on. If she has the same goal as you, court her and see if you two are compatible and actually love each other.
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0ebc7d No.809224
I am going out with a girl for some time now. >>792792 the Jerusalem cross girl if you still remember. This experience renewed my hopes and made me alive again from my pesimism. It was disheartening the past 6 months. One girl I dated kind of accepted my faith, yet she did not want to go to church herself, mostly she went there because of me. We had little in common. It was a bad deal. She was no longer a virgin anyway. But she was from christian family.
The other one was virgin, more grounded in faith but she was insecure, cold and when we parted our ways she said I am "too conservative for her anyway" and she even complained about my icons...Then I realized that I am in a bad position with my faith since I will hardly meet a woman that matches my requirements. I figured most girls will despise my nationalism and me not taking the faith lightly.
Well then this girl appears after months of me knowing her as a friend. At first I was skeptical about her being so devout and her having my interests...I know girls often slowly boil you with pretending to be like you when they fall in love then they change the game soon. Now I know you just cannot pretend this....I am sure she is honest with me. I won't go into details again but we go to church together often now that we date already. We have common interests, many, so that we're not bored anytime we meet. We literally spent a whole day together on the road and we did not run out of things to talk about.
Recently we discussed our faith and our relationship. Wew...we both agreed that God is the first most important element in any relationship. We even discussed that sex is only a part of marriage, that neither of us has intentions to have it before marriage. She basically said that she likes my "revolt against the modern world" attitude (not worded this way but as a quick rundown she basically said that) and that she is so glad she met a guy who has this view.
I feel like she is more devout than me which forces me to become better myself. When we finished our talk she even grabbed my hand which really uplifted my spirits (I tried that two weeks ago but she said she is not ready for this yet).
So that's it.
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188ac9 No.809235
>>808993
If you are 23/24, then you honestly have nothing to worry about from my perspective. I know the 20's come with a lot of anxiety and self-comparison to those around us, I am no stranger to those feelings myself but you are you and you know yourself pretty well I am assuming. We always want to be where someone else is or who they are at this moment but not all of us are equipped for such a thing. Some folks move faster and some move slower, it is just how things are. Just keep radiating that positive feminine energy and it will attract someone.
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7cd5bd No.809249
>>809224
>I am going out with a girl for some time now. the Jerusalem cross girl if you still remember
It seemed like only a short while ago you made that post, and here you are now, holding hands with her. Congrats anon! I can only hope to meet a good woman like that.
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0ebc7d No.809309
>>809249
Yes. It feels like it's been few weeks yet it's already 2 months or so.
Hopefully you will meet the woman you are looking for anon.
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0ebc7d No.811726
Just when I get gf women seem to hit on me even more. It is all a bit tiresome tbh.
I would not even care if they were low level women. One of them is a good christian girl. She probably does not know I have a girlfriend so I will just pass it since she's a friend to me anyway.
But seriously what is this? do women have some 6th sense for men who date someone to treat him differently from treating you when you're single? I really notice a pattern already.
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5f8534 No.811741
>>809224
>(I tried that two weeks ago but she said she is not ready for this yet).
She does not want to hold your hand when you initiate it?
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9ab784 No.811765
3 out of 5 girls that recently shown interest on me are mute.
Is this a sign of sorts? Or just a very unlikely coincidence?
i dont know sign language, but this events just happened.
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93eee2 No.811769
>>811726
From what I've read, men in relationships tend to give off a more confident aura that other women can detect.
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e4bb86 No.811782
>>811765
maybe stop trying to wheel at the special needs asylums?
How did you even know they "showed an interest" if they can't even communicate effectively with you?
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c69545 No.811790
>>811765
>3 out of 5 girls that recently shown interest on me are mute.
>Mfw I read this right after rewatching Koe no Katachi
Bruh I hope you're not asylum-stalking like >>811782 said and if not you better start taking sign language classes.
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c69545 No.811791
>>811790
>Mfw forgot to post face
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14cc19 No.811846
How do I talk about my feelings to my gf and still be a man? I have to tell her some vulnerable things. If I understand correctly, this is what makes a woman lose all respect for you. I'm wondering if there's an approach that won't let that happen.
If I just have to bottle it up forever then I will I guess.
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e0b7d2 No.811855
How much is too much in regards to age gaps? I am almost 30 and I know this 20 year old likes me and I like her back. She is Christian and pure. I am also virgin with almost no relationship experience. I think we both liked each other at the same time, her thinking I was younger and me thinking she was older. Now we both know our real ages and she seems to still like me. Guys around me seem to think this is creepy. Should I just stop this before it gets too painful?
On the flipside, I think my belief that the age gap matters a lot stems from a belief that I am not good enough, and I dont want to let these thoughts continue to sabotage my chance at building a family for the rest of my life. At some point I think I have to believe that I will be good for her.
Thoughts?
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4bcd3a No.811872
>>811855
As long as she is genuine in her care and not gold-digging, I see no reason why not. Most men have been conditioned to find that age-gap off putting, yet still lust after younger women. Don't regard them seriously on that. If its within or at 10-12 years it's fine. Any more than that is a bit strange though. Really, it's more about a concern because she is young and likelier to be capricious when you should be looking for someone serious. Keep that in mind.
>>811846
Depends on the subject. If its regarding your relationship, be strong and don't cry. If it's not, she's a girlfriend. How serious is the relationship? How long have you been dating? If its strong for those points then ask yourself if you can contain yourself from crying in front of her over it. If you can't, then go out and cry alone and tackle the emotions first, even if you don't get answer. You've got to prepare yourself to open up in a dignified way. Even if you do cry, realize then that you shouldn't make that a habit. Being very emotionally open and dependent is not the same as occasionally. Maybe once a year or two. Remember that making the other feel needed is just as important as being dependable.
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4bcd3a No.811873
>>811872
Additionally, if its serious, try talking to a good guy friend first. If you don't have any that is a huge problem and should be quickly corrected. That will end up hurting you in the long run in that and any future relationship, anon. You need a guy friend no matter what, thick and thin. He doesn't need to be perfect, but he needs to be a good friend. Disagree on things, but loyal and trustworthy.
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c69545 No.811876
>>811726
>Just when I get gf women seem to hit on me even more. It is all a bit tiresome tbh.
That´s why I always tell other guys "if you want a gf, you need to get a gf first".
I remember me being an 16yo sperglord metalhead, but I had some luck with this girl.
Then all of a sudden other girls are interested in me.
Same happened with my second gf too.
I think it's part confidence showing, but also something we can't explain thoroughly, like pheromones.
I mean if it was mere confidence it could be faked.
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14cc19 No.812093
>>811872
>>811873
I don't have any christian guy friends who I could see on a whim but I need to talk to her tomorrow so that's unfortunately out of the question, although I am working on my male companionship problem.
I am afraid of losing her and that makes it impossible to open up to her.
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0ebc7d No.812109
>>811741
Weeks ago when I initiated it she said she's not ready yet. Then one day she asked if she can hold my hand already.
>>811769
That would actually make sense. Some girls are just on fire for my attention meanwhile I got a good girl with me.
>>811876
There's something onto it. My friend that showed interest in me did not know I date someone…perhaps she still does not know. The signs intensified when I started dating the girl.
Good to know there's consensus on this. I thought it was weird a bit.
>>811846
Anon said it well. Keep from crying and from sounding needy and weak. If she gets to know the vulnerable core in the right way it will strengthen your relationship bu you confiding in her. I have never been good in this so my advice is not valuable here but I guess crying is definitely off th echarts and you should definitely sound like you have almost/already settled that business of yours.
>>811855
The age gap does not matter unless it's 15 years or so. Older men go well with younger women. She is in her prime, you already got the experience, stability and the capacity to provide for family. Were it the other way around, her 30 you 20 it would not be fine. This way,…..man..she's not 15, she's 20…that is just prepared to have children. There;s nothing perverse about it. Especially if you two go together well.
Stop worrying about not being good enough she's not perfect anyway too. You will never reach perfection just work on yourself all time to become better.
And most importantly..go for it. If she's not the one you will have at least experience with dating a woman. That is…..you will find this handy when you meet your wife already (she might be the one already)
>>811872
>Most men have been conditioned to find that age-gap off putting, yet still lust after younger women
This. Most of them keep their folder of young women in computer but if you look for a wife in 20s, man it is weird. If your intentions are pure, there is not a gap very large, there is nothing wrong there.
The problem might be with women who are not adult enough to commit and would take you as a past time when your years go by….that;s a risk and you have to recognize if she's mature enough in her mind not to waste your time.
>>809209
Telling them on the first date you want to marry her eventually will sound bad even if is the only reason you would ask her out.
As the relationship progresses and you talk about your values, goals you may mention that you value family, want to start it. You will see how she reacts. Also before it she may mention it, you will see how she treats her family, if she;s family minded or career minded. There are signs and women do forge their views to the views of her men…but one should not ever estimate it. You may never be sure when it comes to women and their opinions but the thing remains that just the way they behave and the way they talk about their family and about children you can tell if she is crazy career feminist or not.
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0ebc7d No.812110
This is another thing that like about my girl. While I had no wrong intentions with inviting her to my place early on…she said she;s not ready for it because she did not know me. I could have been somebody just looking for sexual intercourse. As the thing progresses she does not have a problem with going to my place and showing she likes me in a discreet manner.
Another quite interesting thing is that I have not been tempted by fornication/masturbation when with her or when thinking about her. I get boner when I think about being with her, let alone going with her for a walk. But never in a sense that it would endanger my nofap or anything. It is strange. When with my ex I was on the verge of fornication. I experienced this many years back for the first time with my second girlfriend and it was a stable relationship. Perhaps it is the result of me building a strong fence against temptation or perhaps it really shows the relationship is going the right way.
So finally a girl that does not think my icons are weird or that my attitude towards modern world is off place.
The only thing that worries me that she may be more liberal than me when it comes to globalism and politics. I have no idea about her opinions on this so I am unsure on how to start presenting my views that are of a more radical sort on this. I guess I will pray so she does not reject me completely when we come to speak about it.
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631f9d No.812322
Should we be, as far as possible, commit to 'courting' rather than dating and avoiding all physical intimacy until the wedding? Is it realistic to try to stick to this approach?
https://thelondonchristianradio.co.uk/difference-dating-courting/
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c69545 No.812327
>>812322
>Courting
This is a meme, it's practically dating without having extramarital sex.
The direct translation in my language is the exact same term we use to describe a relationship, but it's only used by children and comes over pretty childish.
Of course you could find a women in another way than dating, like arranged meetings etc. but that's sadly completely lost in Western culture as far as I know.
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0ebc7d No.812335
>>812322
Whoever wrote it had good intentions in mind for sure. However I feel like this is conceding a defeat. Sure..in the old days one "courted" a woman. Especially after asking the father if he is allowed to do so. Times have changed for worse though. Dating can refer to wide range of things…from hooking up with random women to a pure relationship without any fornication.
I do not think pushing memes is a way, as other anon puts it. It comes off as a bit larpy/childish and defeats the purpose. It is the "let me define a new thing now" instance. It rarely works. Even if you tell that to the girl "we're not dating, we;r courting"….you will come off as weird, trying too hard to bring back the old terminolgy. Why not use the word "date" supposing that physical intimacy is off limits before marriage? The word means the same thing. I think we just need to make clear that christian dating does not involve anything that offends God and that it is the only proper way of dating. The other things are fornication/mutual masturbation/etc.
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631f9d No.812337
>>812327
>Courting is practically dating without having extramarital sex
Did you read the link which clearly shows the falsehood of your statement?
Also >>812322 should have read
>avoiding all physical and emotional intimacy
>>812327
>Of course you could find a women in another way than dating
i.e. courting
>but that's sadly completely lost in Western culture as far as I know
That's why is said 'as far as possible' and questioned whether it was realistic. Part of the distinction between courting and dating to me seems to be on the respect for the view of authority of its blessing - parents, pastors etc (the other part of the distinction seeming to be on the emphasis on education and preparation with a view to managing expectations of what a biblically-aligned marriage would comprise and making sure this is carefully discerned). Most of us arn't going to have rad trad parents who'll care about engaging in explicit courting etiquette, and you'd need to count yourself lucky if you have a priest/pastor who'd be willing to or emphasises in approaching it the same - I assume most are pozzed and modern in the way they do it if thry have any involvement pre-engagement at all.
But anyway, whether it's realistic or not was only a supplementary question and irrelevant to the main one at hand - that is, should we as Christian men (as much as is in our power) take the courting approach and is the dominant 'dating' way of doing it (with all the pre-marital emotional and physical intimacy that implies) morally inferior (in that it has a substantially greater chance of leading us into temptation and making rash decisions) and there is no excuse not to reject it?
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0ebc7d No.812338
>>812327
>>812322
On a related note. There comes a moment when you might be asked:
"Anon what is our relationship? do we date already? How do you see it?"
I got this exact question asked two times the last 6 months. I will summarize: I dated 3 girls during that period. Two of them are virgins for sure, the third was no longer one when I met her. The two asked me the exact question. The third did not bother because she knew what to expect/what not to expect and just tried to keep her distance not to fornicate because she is christian too. My intentions were not with any of them to fornicate btw but just two of them had the guts to ask…indirectly though.
This got me into thinking. The first time I got asked this question….I literally did not know what I was being asked. I just wanted to be with the girl, talk to her and get to know her. Anything more than kissing her I would consider to be a failure of my conduct and offending God.
The first time I answered that yes, I think we're dating…and I said something along the lines that we do not know each other well and there is hardly any clear line between going out and dating.The thing went downhill because of other things too…retrospectively I realize what she was asking me. I think I failed to respond well.
The second time I got this asked few weeks ago.
"Anon, are we dating?" And then it just struck me. The girl was actually baiting and asking about my views on modern "dating". So we talked for a while and agreed that the worst thing one can do is offend God, God should be the main element in relationship, etc.
I literally conceded I do not know what people mean when they say "dating" and that I take it that intimacy is only in marriage.
This is not as much as a struggle with the words as the girls asking something indirectly, expecting to be assured about intentions with them. However if you do not get, as I did not, what they're asking our answer might be wrong even though your intentions are pure.
Strange stuff
> 'dating' way of doing it (with all the pre-marital emotional and physical intimacy that implies) morally inferior (in that it has a substantially greater chance of leading us into temptation and making rash decisions) and there is no excuse not to reject it?
I don't know. I would say that anything that would lead us into sin is worth rejecting. However I find it hard to believe things can be just like in the old days tomorrow. I would say that "dating" that does not involve physical intimacy is fine by me. Tbh I do not see myself going to father first asking him if I can go for a walk with the girl. I would definitely not have a gf right now that way since she lives more than 200 miles from me anyway.
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83a0a1 No.814127
All right anons. I was weighing whether write here for an advice or not, eventually I came to realization I would benefit from getting some advice and I am a bit ashamed to speak to my friend about this. He would not understand the faith aspect.
The last few days I feel burned out. There has been quite a lot of physical pressure and a bit of psychological as well. But I have been on worse and I tended to cope well. To sum it up, from a happy 2 months relationship I came into a week when I lack motivation to do anything with myself as far as faith/our relationship is concerned. After weeks of temptations on streets by women I suddenly feel mostly nothing, not even with my girl(we hold hands at most). Somehow my drive is gone, perhaps temporarily. I experienced something similar long ago, but not this intense. The last time I saw my gf I did not have much to say…. and we saw each other after a longer time. Somehow I realize that she might mind some of my opinions in future(but she is very devout in her faith), it is just that she probably has a strange admix of some liberal values in her, as is common today even for girls that attend church.
Other thing is that I literally stopped caring about her or other women in sexual sense… I cannot understand this.
Then came the "does it work moment". I know it is a disgrace to fall for this meme…but I did. thoughts, decent pics did not make it ( a week ago thoughts being sufficient) so I went for a video…well I know it works…I did not masturbate but I feel ashamed that after more than year of nofap I fell for the functionality meme.
I really feel despondent about everything. It's like living in a hellhole.
I went out few times with a good friend of mine so that kept my spirits quite good for a while. I know she has quite similar political outlook and worldview so it was fine to speak to someone who is on the same wavelength as you. I always liked her, just not in the girlfriend sense..in this I had few sparks but they came in a wrong moment - a moment of me dating someone else. Now I do not have spark for anything, my faith, my gf, just nothing.
Here I start to realize that my gf and I are likely to have a dispute when it comes down to certain topics, but those are things essential to me. Actually this is just a rehash I knew this from the start and was not afraid of it since I can sustain my position and explain it…it is just that combined with this burn out attitude I get very very uneasy about it all.
I do not want to be whining here….I could just do with an advice on how to regain the fire I had. The relationship, faith..and everything. Any advice at all would do.
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f04808 No.814195
>>814127
>I did not masturbate but I feel ashamed that after more than year of nofap I fell for the functionality meme.
You did wrong, but there is forgiveness in Christ. Seek the Sacrament of Penance as soon as possible.
>Here I start to realize that my gf and I are likely to have a dispute when it comes down to certain topics
What exactly is your disagreement?
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83a0a1 No.814651
>>814195
Immigration and globalism most likely…and I guess she also will be quite liberal about faggots and things like that. We have not talked about it explicitly but so far I have gathered she will be way more liberal than I am from what she said about her parents/her siblings and from few signs. Her understanding of liturgy will be more free too with all that worship music…not my style at all.
I guess I should lightly open those topics to see where we are heading.
And I will have to go confess asap.
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a52727 No.814686
I'm almost thirty, had a panic attack and realizing I'm the only sibling in my family that has a chance of having kids and making enough money to raise them. I'm planning on volunteering at my local church or churches soon, but I'm worried I'm too old for a girl that would safely be able to give birth to children. I'm completely scared of this revelation, and it's making me a nervous wreck.
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4e842d No.814697
>>814686
18-19 year olds are probably off the table depending how modern the parish is, but you shouldn't have issues finding 20-24 year old waifu
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a52727 No.814712
>>814697
How late is too late to have kids? I know someone who mentioned they had gotten married, they were 39 and the woman was 38, and I think they had at least two kids and the kids are doing well.
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f9304f No.814713
>>814712
That's kind of gods decision but I'd say past 45
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83a0a1 No.814844
>>814697
>>814712
>>814686
This. As a man your value does not go down as quickly as for the woman. a 30 yo guy can settle down with 20 yo easily…if they are a good match of course. In this age not many 20yo girls are mentally mature to start a family though… so dating a random 20yo at 30 that likes to switch guys will give you a headache at best. But supposing the good constelation…there is no problem getting younger woman. You cannot say the same for 20yo man with 30yo woman…that usually doe s not happen
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f005a6 No.814854
>>814712
It's never too late when God wills it. When I was born, my mother was a week from turning 43. My parents did not use any fertility treatment, as far as I'm concerned. I do browse imageboards though, so maybe the meme about autism and older mothers is true .
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173c25 No.814855
>>814854
As I understand it it's mainly down syndrome linked to older mothers.
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c69545 No.814856
>>814854
>Mfw my mom was 37
>Mfw I also browse imageboards
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173c25 No.814857
>>814856
My mom was in her early 30s. I don't have autism or downs, but I do have Major Depressive Disorder. I'm guessing that's why I browse imageboards and comment sections.
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a52727 No.814861
>>814857
>>814856
>>814855
>>814854
My mom was 25 and I'm autistic. My dad was twelve years older though.
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173c25 No.814862
>>814861
>My dad was twelve years older though.
That might be it.
also, when I first read that, I thought you said your dad was 12-years-old, and I was VERY concerned
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6ca0a7 No.814868
>>814861
I'm pretty sure the age of the dad has no affect on anything
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c69545 No.814882
>>814861
>>814862
>>814868
As far as I know being older as a man does carry a risk for your children but it's a lot less than for women since we make fresh new sperm every three days or so.
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1e56d6 No.815104
Can you guys pray for me, new here.
Met this girl a year ago online. She believes in everything I do and has been a blessing to me and prays for me and gets onto me when I mess up, so on and so forth. We both like each other and want to exemplify Christ in our lives through our relationship
However, its long distance and at the moment her and I are just friends. We havent actually dated just yet. I just want prayers that her and I both have the strength to trust God and at the moment, just work on ourselves for God and get together with the right person when we are ready, which is hopefully each other.
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cd1a02 No.815170
>>815104
>Met this girl a year ago online
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1e56d6 No.815202
>>815170
thanks for reading, friend
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83a0a1 No.815700
So the thing is after not seeing the girl I date for long time I somehow grew happier to be alone. We have many things in common but these days I see just those that make us different. I think the moment I will say what I stand for politically neither her nor her family will like me for that. So I guess it would not be honest to disguise that, nor am I willing to make any compromises on what I believe to be right.
On the top of that I feel like there is a growing affection for my friend. I know her longer time but we came out for sport only lately. No dates. My honor would not permit me to date two girls at once.
I am at odds what to do…on one hand it feels bad to quit the current relationship without giving it a chance, on the other hand I just want to be left alone. There;s also part of me which wants to pursue my friend…I start one sentence she finishes it.
I do not even know why I write here since I do not expect to be given an advice on what you do not know at all….probably just needed to vent my current frustration.
So thank you for reading my blogpost.
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ad906d No.815853
>>786958
I personally feel God is telling me to stay away from women. I personally find the idea of intimacy revolting and would rather honor god than having sex with someone. ( I find sex revolting personally) what do?
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83a0a1 No.815960
>>815853
how long has this been the case?
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db7ec4 No.815963
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98b730 No.816032
I'm very tall, blonde haired, blue eyed, (Scandi/German blood) and I would like a wife with these attributes. I don't think it's unreasonable to want these physical attributes in a wife since I posses them myself. I'm not really attracted to short women or non-blondes.
She must be a Christian, a real Christian. She must be capable of managing a household, of helping me homeschool our kids, of creating a Christ-centered atmosphere in our home. She must have the initiative to start a side hustle like the Proverbs 31 woman. She must embrace her role as the man's helper, as the man's ward, and as an image of the church.
At age 28, two women are on my radar.
I'm "in love" with girl #1, but she's not really attainable right now and her character is more of a gamble.
Girl #2 is not my type, but she's perfect wife material and I could learn to love her.
Option #1. 5'9" blonde/blue I've barely talked to, 9/10 and very much my type physically despite her medium height. We were in school together 8 years ago, and she's friends with people from my old church. Her current church is alright: not seeker-sensitive, decidedly conservative but large and rich. It's kind of a metropolitan instagram church if that makes sense. She goes on short-term mission trips, but I feel like it's mainly because she likes to travel. We don't see much of each other and I don't know any vector to approach her.
Option #2. Very short at 5'4". Pale, black hair, blue eyes, 8/10. She's 19. We go to the same church. I used to work for her dad, who's a gifted preacher and exegete, and he's guided me spiritually and been a friend for years. She's a godly, cute, overly-talkative, musical woman who wants kids, who doesn't want to go to college, who wants to homeschool, who's certainly a virgin. Every couple of days she waves at me on FB and I think she might be in love with me. Whole family is short and our sons would be turbo manlets.
Option #3. Go to the Netherlands and find a Dutch Reformed giantess.
Pray that God will beat me into the right decision.
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7cd5bd No.816038
>>816032
I'm a fellow tall guy, and tall girls aren't really my preference (I prefer short blondes), but there's a blonde in her early 20s at my Church who has to be at least 6'2"… when she wore heels last week at Mass, she nearly stood eye-to-eye with me. Not often I see women that tall.
>I'm "in love" with girl #1, but she's not really attainable right now and her character is more of a gamble
If you have any doubts about a girl's character while being in love with her, then run screaming for the hills.
>Girl #2 is not my type, but she's perfect wife material and I could learn to love her
Sounds like a great girl.
>[#1's] current church is alright … It's kind of a metropolitan instagram church if that makes sense
>she likes to travel
Yuck.
>[#2's] a godly, cute, overly-talkative, musical woman who wants kids, who doesn't want to go to college, who wants to homeschool, who's certainly a virgin
Like I said, this woman sounds great.
>Every couple of days she waves at me on FB and I think she might be in love with me
It sure sounds like it. Wave back each time and ask her out SOON! Give this woman a ring and kids. She sounds nearly perfect (and there are no perfect women, fyi).
>Whole family is short and our sons would be turbo manlets
Don't be so sure. My 6'6" dad married my 5'6" mother, and us sons are 6'6" while the daughters are ~5'10".
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ad906d No.816042
>>815960
Its been relatively recent. I used to not be bothered by women in bikinis. Now I just want it to STOP. : (
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98b730 No.816043
>>816038
Thanks for reading my blogpost Catholicbro.
>blonde in her early 20s at my Church who has to be at least 6'2"
You're probably one of her only options (if you're both single). Maybe you could learn to love her.
It's hard for me not to be envious tbh.
>Yuck.
Yeah exactly. But she's so elegant and "high-born" I can't take my eyes off her. She's also not immodest.
>She sounds nearly perfect
Her dad and mom did an excellent job of raising her.
The age gap makes me feel uncomfortable. I'd almost feel embarrassed to go out in public with her, but I'm coming around. I think it's time to start a family and unless God puts another option before me very soon, I have to accept that it's His will and make it work. I believe the only real criterion for compatibility is that both are sincere followers of Christ, and I think it's the case with her.
>and us sons are 6'6" while the daughters are ~5'10".
Maybe I'm overthinking it.
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4823d9 No.816067
Doing another check in after a while. >>797345
Yesterday was my 24th birthday, and nothing has gotten better. I'm still an unwed, untouched virgin, I still have no realistic prospects, I've never has a girlfriend, and I'm still suffering, as weary, and as deflated as ever. It just keeps getting worse and worse. Women hate me, ignore me, and cause me more grief than Satan himself!
I went and talked to my pastor yesterday about trying to make friends, and more important, get a spouse, and he basically didn't give me much good news. He pointed out that my area is half retirement community, half hood, and has basically no young single women. He pointed out that there are literally zero girls aged 18-25 in the whole congregation. He said that online dating or moving were my only options, and moving doesn't work right now. I mentioned to him my poor history with online dating. We just prayed, as we both know that's the best we can do.
I wish for nothing more from the Lord than mercy. This is cruel. I suppose this a fitting punishment for a worm like me. I just don't know what to do anymore. This is the kind of suffering that can drive a man from salvation via the Resurrection, a very scary prospect… but it won't work!
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7cd5bd No.816074
>>816043
>You're probably one of her only options (if you're both single)
Yeah, that's the problem… I'm pretty sure she has a bf. I noticed that she goes to Mass every Sunday with who looks to be her dad, but there's also another guy who goes with them as well once in a great while. They seem too close to be brother and sister. Ah well.
>It's hard for me not to be envious tbh
She is very attractive (at least an 8/10), seemingly has no kids, and sounds like she'd be just what you're looking for if not for her being Catholic and (possibly) taken. I'm honestly a bit envious of you, tbh. I'd love a dainty woman with the personality you described… I don't know why, but there's something about short women looking directly up at me that has always driven me nuts. I guess I associate that with submissiveness, I dunno.
>But she's so elegant and "high-born" I can't take my eyes off her. She's also not immodest
I see what you mean. I trust the dark-haired girl isn't immodest?
>The age gap makes me feel uncomfortable. I'd almost feel embarrassed to go out in public with her
Honestly, no one will care about that age gap in 5 years from now. Modernists have this strange obsession with wanting to see women in their late teens/early 20s go to college and sleep around before being "tied down" with marriage and kids. Pay their whinging no mind - this girl wants to spend her prime years with you.
>Maybe I'm overthinking it
I've never met a tall guy with short kids, so perhaps. My dad's ex-wife was a short Vietnamese woman, and they had a son (my half-brother) who is about 6'4". I think your kids will be fine.
>>816067
That's a tough situation anon. What denomination are you, out of curiosity? You'd think there'd be at least one young woman at your church.
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98b730 No.816092
>>816067
>stem graduate
You might consider going back to get your masters at a Christian college. You might sell your house and move. I live in the buckle of the Bible-belt, in an area that's full of conservative Christian colleges, and the pickings can be good there.
If I were young, desperate, prone to temptation, and stuck in Florida, I'd definitely move.
Most importantly though, you must study scripture and gain wisdom in order to be able to lead your future wife in the faith. This is the man's responsibility, and if you're unable to do this, consider that God might be holding back one of his beloved daughters until he decides you're mature enough to lead her. (I'm speaking to myself as much as to you.)
>>816074
>I trust the dark-haired girl isn't immodest?
She wears jeans a lot and she's a bit of a tomboy, but she's still very modest.
I think she probably is my best option, although I pray for someone more to my taste.
I also think she could do much better than an old 28yo boomer like me.
>she goes to Mass every Sunday with who looks to be her dad
>another guy who goes with them as well once in a great while
You might introduce yourself to her father and see what happens.
I wouldn't want a man who was lax in his churchgoing to court my daughter.
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4823d9 No.816101
>>816074
LCMS. I like my current congregation because of the traditional, liturgical (thus scripturally justified) worship. Its a very old-fashioned and devout. Catholics are the big denom here, and though I don't have a big problem with them, I could never see myself becoming a catholic, even for a good woman. That said, my grandmother and my mother are converted Catholics, so whom knows.
There are literally none. Not even kidding. It's almost comical. Sad in some ways. When I was in college there were a few girls at my congregation but they weren't interested in me. I have a very minor craniofacial deformity that might put people off from looking at me, and I'm also fairly shot and otherwise average.
>>816092
>You might consider going back to get your masters at a Christian college.
My bachelor's is in engineering my man, and I have no interest in EVER going back to school. I've never been the scholarly type, I barely made it though school. That's a no from me dawg. Can't afford school anyways.
>If I were young, desperate, prone to temptation, and stuck in Florida, I'd definitely move.
I live in Ohio, not Florida, but I suppose the way I described it fits Florida pretty well. Can't move cause I have to take care of my parents, who are both 59 and are starting to have health problems. I'm the only one who lives in this area right now to take care of them. They did too much for me, I can't leave them. Also can't move cause I don't have enough equity in my home and I won't be able to find another job until I get my engineering stamp, which I can't get until about another 18 months.
>Most importantly though, you must study scripture and gain wisdom in order to be able to lead your future wife in the faith.
Can't wait to do this! Looking so much forward to it. I love studying scripture and theology, and would love to lead a woman and children into the faith!
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0ebc7d No.816129
>>816032
>Instagram church
It makes sense and I would take it as a red flag
>but what about uh genetics
genetics are precious however if the character and the spirit are lacking they amount to nothing.
Character always beats the looks/genetics. You know the girl I do not. You know what I mean here.
#2 sounds good Anon. That does not have to mean that your sons will be manlets. I understand what you mean but personally I would go with the girl that you like more by character.
>>816043
>She's also not immodest.
How well do you know her? As I have said the "high born" is nice. But it has to be matched with being worth the heritage.
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0ebc7d No.816133
My relationship crashed. I have not broke up with my gf just yet but I do not see getting it back together. There is a large gap between us in our opinions as well as in our understanding the faith. Being longer time apart did not help it…perhaps it did though I see things that I said I would "solve later". I feel bad about ending it she is a good, chaste blue eyed blonde that takes the faith seriously…but there is an age gap and as I have said our politics differ too much. Going for this after few months would mean a great investment from me and now I just lost the motivation.
Just when this happened I fell badly for a friend of mine. We saw each other the last months and I did not consider it to be anything else than friendship but I learned to love something about her. She seems to match so many characteristics that I want in future wife, she's my age. Her concept of faith is just the same as mine. Her politics is 95% mine. She's as tall as me, the facial features definitely what you would call high-born.
So the few last times we went out I was unsure about it just being "friendly" the last time we parted I just knew I won't escape this.
The deal is that I have not broken up with my gf yet but I would do that anyway had this not happened. It will be painful but I think I will manage.
The issue is that this girl showed quite a few sings she likes me over the last month. But lately she said that she was "completely repelled by someone who previously said she liked her". I am at odds if I should wait…if she broke up with somebody she may not be receptive to another relationship so quickly. On the other hand I will see her less in few weeks future since she moves…
I did not inquire about her situation since it is personal.
What would you do? I really feel like I should go for it and tell her what she means to me. She is 100% wife material. But this really stroke a blow between my eyes and I do not want to screw things up.
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7cd5bd No.816176
>>816092
>She wears jeans a lot and she's a bit of a tomboy
Not the worst thing in the world. While her tomboy personality likely won't change, perhaps you could get her interested in wearing skirts and such.
>I also think she could do much better than an old 28yo boomer like me
Well, the important part is that she seems interested in you. Many guys struggle with winning certain women over, and here you don't have that issue.
>You might introduce yourself to her father and see what happens. I wouldn't want a man who was lax in his churchgoing to court my daughter
I suppose I won't give up on her yet. I just had my Confirmation last week, and I'm assuming any girl who goes to Church with her parent(s) is a cradle Catholic, so I don't know how she'd feel about dating a recent convert.
>>816101
>I could never see myself becoming a catholic, even for a good woman
Yeah, I'd never convert to a denom for that reason.
>That said, my grandmother and my mother are converted Catholics, so whom knows
If nothing else, you can pray for guidance on this matter.
>There are literally none. Not even kidding. It's almost comical. Sad in some ways. When I was in college there were a few girls at my congregation but they weren't interested in me
That's a shame. As for appearance, that plays a very large part in whether or not women find you attractive (they constantly deny that's the case, but it really is), so that puts even an average-looking individual in a tough spot.
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98b730 No.816273
>>816133
If you've been chaste bf&gf for more than a couple months, then you should either set a date for the wedding or break it off because it's not meant to be. Make the ultimate commitment or make no commitment.
Bf&gf is unbiblical anyways. There's singleness, courtship, engagement, and marriage.
>I just lost the motivation.
Whatever you do, don't enter or exit a "relationship" because you "fell in/out of love", lost motivation, or reconnected with a friend. Your basis for your relationship is Christ.
>takes the faith seriously…but there is an age gap and as I have said our politics differ too much.
Any two true Christians can make it work.
On issues like abortion, the death penalty, and welfare, where scripture is plain, if she maintains the wrong political opinions then she doesn't take her faith seriously enough. You can't marry someone like that.
If it's something more hit and miss like immigration or race realism, you can make it work.
As long as you can act in love towards her and as long as she can accept your headship, you can make it work.
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100deb No.816291
>>816273
>If it's something more hit and miss like immigration or race realism, you can make it work.
perhaps, perhaps. I do not give a damn about her being a race realist. I do care about the basic anti immigration outlook at the very least. At least civ nat and I am not going to compromise on that.
>If you've been chaste bf&gf for more than a couple months, then you should either set a date for the wedding or break it off because it's not meant to be. Make the ultimate commitment or make no commitment.
Hey my outlooks are that she started university, we've been together for a not such a long time. I will not invest my best years in 20s just to wait for a woman to finish the school. It would have to be spiritually the girl#2
I am not going to jump into another relationship just like that and this does not seem to be a mere infatuation tbh. The girl#2 will need a time to heal anyway because right now she is heart broken by break up.
Hey I understand what you mean and I agree with most of what you said…but the truth is….mostly I found my soul twin in a woman that would be ready to commit after shorter time than #1. And gradually I learned to like her after realizing the #1 probably will not suit me on the personal level as well as with all the waiting for the marriage several years.
I have already decided what I have to do. I will do everything in my power to get #2 because she seems to be the perfect match for me.
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31fe8a No.817128
I am about to break out with my gf. She is a radical feminist, tits out on parades and all that stuff. :(
Please pray for me, i need it.
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f407fe No.817173
Things are going really well here, my girlfriend and I just hit 7 months together a couple days ago! Waiting for a Christian girl was definitely the right choice.
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83a0a1 No.817185
>>817128
ew that hurts. But it is probably a good riddance. Good luck anon
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31fe8a No.817186
>>817185
It surely hurts, i am just looking for some wise words, i really like this board.
i don't really know what to do today.
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4bcd3a No.817214
>>817186
It's strangely common for people in relationships to act incredibly informally. Sometimes you need to sit down and have an honest conversation. Talk with her, ask her why she feels the need to do what she does. Make your concerns plain and simple, conveyed with determination but very tenderly. Did you ever talk with her before this? Did she violate your trust before this? Have you only tolerated those viewpoints before as something you can fix or is this something new? The answer to those questions can determine the best approach.
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919d16 No.817297
>>816032
This was pretty disgusting to read honestly. Is this a real problem for you? It wouldn't be a real problem to me if I'm being honest.
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e0166e No.817317
>>817128
Seems like you dodged a bullet. Imagine marrying a woman who exhibits her undressed body in the streets. Imagine having children with such a woman - what kind of values would she teach them? Imagine the bullying they would suffer when their school mates find out embarassing pictures of her in the internets.
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e0166e No.817339
>>817327
"Aging" is not a disease. The pursuit of worldly immortality is not of God.
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962401 No.817361
>>817317
This is true, thanks.
>>817214
She violated my trust multiple times, she literally dissapeared lots of times when she went out with her friend. She has drug problems.
In the end, i feel that ending the relationship is a good thing.
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7ba7f1 No.817454
>>817361
If there is precedence, then it's time to break it off. It'll be hard to do it face-to-face, but that is the best thing. God be with you, anon.
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83a0a1 No.817669
>>817297
Disgusting? why?
>>817361
>>817128
>feminist
>tits out
>drug
>disappears
Good riddance. Stop being all emotional and in love and do what you have to do. You do not want a hoe to be a housewife. She will never be one.
Be strong and do it face to face. It will make you stronger. Also give the precise reasons why you do it and stand your ground it will make you strong. At least I have this experience.
Good luck.
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83a0a1 No.817671
I broke up with the girl already. It was ok. She just said I was being selfish for not wanting to literally get old by waiting in something new and uncertain.
Just screw this. I have zero regrets because my path is elsewhere. We were not meant for each other. I did the best thing I could for both of us. She took it well eventually and will come to understand it with time as she hits my age she will know for sure..
Now I shall recover, give the girl of my heart time to recover also and we shall see.
Right now I am absolutely optimistic about the future and everything and I am glad I did the right thing in the face of hardline emotions. I know I acted honorably and like man who knows what has to be done and who realizes that neither pain or pleasure should enter into considerations of things that have to be done.
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ad906d No.817687
>>817678
You REALLY need Jesus
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4bcd3a No.817703
>>817671
God bless you anon, keep on the good path and bear with it.
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ad906d No.817708
>>817670
anon this is sad and pathetic.
>>817703
does anyone know what >>817670
is shilling about its soo sad : /
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be5c19 No.817730
Hello once again brothers, I have a sort of confession and need some advice in this matter.
I'm in a kinda of a bind regarding a few girls of relevance in my life right now. Without trying to go too much into the past, but I had a bad break up last year which I wrote a lot about around here (and it was very helpful, thanks), since then I've been frequenting my nearby cath church, meeting people there and its been wonderful, I still go nearly daily since I have the time and quite frankly, its brightens my day.
But the point is, there are very few girls that do go regularly in this church, specifically there was this girl that I got to know, but mostly because we had to spend time together with others, I always tried to show interest and get to talk to her, but she never got into it, except when I literally stayed away, otherwise she always to purposefully avoid me. I mean literally, if we sat together she would scoot away so another person could sit in between. This last month things got even more messed up, where in a church party she showed a lot more of interest, even danced with me (while I also participated in the main dance with her friend, which is a whole other story). I gave her a bracelet and another day even gave her a ring (cause I make these things) on a day that's equivalent to valentines day, hoping she would get the clue. This is one half of equation, a young nice christian girl that I like the chance to be with while she miserably pushes me away.
The other half is a old friend of mine, since my teenage years, that showed up some months back and is pregnant from a random hookup, needless to say not a prime choice, but I wanted to hear her out and support her since this must be no doubt a hard time for her. We had some romance long past but didn't work out, each got into different relationships, and I was fine being just friends. However, since we're sort of lonely on our own, we get to talk a lot, and she always starts to drag me on these crazy girlfriend related discussions, and starts blaming me up for having second intentions, while she is the one bringing this up. The worst thing is that whenever I push her away she comes back even stronger, yesterday she even went on this spluge about how I needed to do more for her. I can't if this is just regular pregnant crazy, or plain evidence of how she is a masochist lover (is just interest in the guy as long as he doesn't give a shit). Either way, this is a bad situation for me, I don't really want to be that cuck that takes care of the child of another men, but at the same time I know it isn't christian to be unforgiving, I've been feeling pretty lonely and keep asking in my prayers to show me the true path.
I don't really like fumbling around with multiple girls, but this is really messing me up, for one I can't expect nothing from the first girl, for second, my actual friend is being really and expecting me to be a devote chump, and for third, I'm feeling like the average anon, without any perspective of finding good girls, struggling with my own issues, such as job, nofap, smokes.
I appreciate all help, and bless you anon.
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19a3fd No.817734
>>817730
It seems like the confession you really need is to the first girl. Have you come out and said what your intentions are? You do not seem to be in a position where you can blame her for "pushing" you away if you are not being straight forward that you would like to start a relationship with her. Gird your loins and tell her in no uncertain words.
From personal experience i would say that your best path with the second girl is to wish her luck and cut off any consideration of a relationship with her.
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be5c19 No.817744
>>817734
Thanks for the reply brother.
>From personal experience i would say that your best path with the second girl is to wish her luck and cut off any consideration of a relationship with her.
Yeah that seems to be the case, it really to me at mass right after posting here, I even suggested that maybe she was projecting other feelings towards me, and that perhaps she should confess to someone (if not to a priest, to her spiritual center), but she says to be devoid of any guilty, doesn't even admit it and trying to blame to take responsibility. Yeah better get away.
>It seems like the confession you really need is to the first girl.
Yeah I don't know, just thinking about it makes my stomach curl. But given anything I ever know and experienced with women, is that she really doesn't have an interest that way, and by God, haven't I tried to get to know her. And mean, giving her a ring gift at valentine's day, how dense someone has to be to not get that? And after that, she barely replied my online messages, even the walls gave me a quicker answer.
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100deb No.817861
>>817730
Hi Anon. Are you the women nature Anon? Somehow I got the idea you are him but I am not sure now.
Anyway…the two girls.
>#1
You may be misreading the signs. Plus you are making the mistake of playing the "indirect". That's what women do. She is not going to ask you out for a date or initiate relationship. That is your task as a man. Yes, it means to bear the burden of rejection. But it also means to bear the laurels of victory. Always remember that. As for the girls…they often show signs of interest (dance) while making counter signs so you or other people around do not think she is too attached to you…she does not want to show too much interest.
However you should worry less about this. You like the girl..initiate contact, conversation(you did already) and after some time ask her out for a coffee or whatever. You see how it goes. If she's interested you will go out on the date and you will see where it goes.
The way you talk you need to smash the opportunity with the #1 girl. Go for her.
>#2
This is another case.
>Long time friends
>Single mom
>without bf
>heyyyyyyyy anon don't you care
>crazy gf related discussions
The intentions are clear here. She looks for someone to take her of her child. She might mean well….or not. We'll never know. But she's acting under pressure and it is not that she now realized that you are the best guy to have family with. She wants someone.
>The worst thing is that whenever I push her away she comes back even stronger
This is very bad sign
>at the same time I know it isn't christian to be unforgiving, I've been feeling pretty lonely and keep asking in my prayers to show me the true path.
Stop this right now. It is not your duty to take care of someone's child just because a woman blackmail you emotionally and uses your friendship to do that.
>starts blaming me up for having second intentions, while she is the one bringing this up.
Just confirms what I said. Now knowing you wrote just about 20% of your conversations….you should drop this girl and stop the communication. With her luck, as the other anon said and leave it like that. Before you wake up you might become her husband and regret it for the rest of your life.
Yes. Forgiving is a christian virtue but it is not up to you to forgive her anything. And it is not your path to take care of her mistakes. Walk away while you still can. Just the fact that you wrote here you consider if this is the path means she manipulates you quite well.
> I even suggested that maybe she was projecting other feelings towards me, and that perhaps she should confess to someone (if not to a priest, to her spiritual center), but she says to be devoid of any guilty, doesn't even admit it and trying to blame to take responsibility.
that quite confirms it.
>#1
>Yeah I don't know, just thinking about it makes my stomach curl.
This is the sign you should go for it. She challenges you. That is good. Very good.
>how dense someone has to be to not get that?
That could be solved by you asking her out. There will be resolution. Either yes or no. The rest are just some doubts, constructions. Those are pointless….if you get resolution you may get the girl or you may move on.
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100deb No.817867
>>817703
Thank you anon. I feel like I met a woman of my dreams…after "knowing" her for almost five years lol. Imagine my distress about it all since there is going to be a bit of distance between us and she's not yet ready to date. But she did not reject me, just said she needs time and I know there's such a strong connection that it will go that way after we recover. I read it in her eyes when we talked about it and it was between the lines.
This time I feel like Deus is truly Vulting. She's not perfect, neither am I but I cannot imagine a girl closer to me in faith and politics, as well as hobbies. The infatuation came late for me in our "relationship".
It seems like reason came first hard in, the feelings resisted long time but eventually gave in. Now both follow the same path. I have never experienced this. I always fell in love easily, then came to know by reason it cannot work out.
I sincerely hope this is it and it goes well. I am sick and tired of asking girls out. It is the same thing all the time. There's no end to it. The "breakups" are the worst. I started praying rosary before falling asleep now. I hope God helps me find the woman already. All I want to do is to settle down and have kids.
I apologize for another post, which is of no value to anyone here. I probably needed to vent this.
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be5c19 No.818867
>>817861
>Hi Anon. Are you the women nature Anon?
Yes I am, quite funny to see how we can identify others isn't it?
>You may be misreading the signs. Plus you are making the mistake of playing the "indirect". That's what women do. She is not going to ask you out for a date or initiate relationship. That is your task as a man. Yes, it means to bear the burden of rejection. But it also means to bear the laurels of victory.
Yeah you're right, still it pains me to admit it but I have to be plain and sincere. Its that the way she usually behaves is that it could be her reply already. I mean, barely answering my messages is a strong enough evidence, however there is that very slim chance she is just timid and just as setback and careful as I'm trying to be.
Still, that needs a opportunity to come up, she wasn't even coming to church anymore, have the opportunity for me to come close, I also started working as a driver right now and will not able to attend mass as much as I used to.
>Now knowing you wrote just about 20% of your conversations….you should drop this girl and stop the communication. With her luck, as the other anon said and leave it like that. Before you wake up you might become her husband and regret it for the rest of your life.
Yeah that confirmed it, I had a talk with her last week, she was all over the place and seemed like in a really bad place. And somehow I just thought she was projecting the feelings of abandonment from the one that got her pregnant towards me. I was feeling guilty of letting her down but now that its passed, I'm really glad I don't really have to take on that burden.
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ae9b65 No.819196
>>793979
31 and married to a 22 year old. Don't listen to Boomers. Have children within 2 years after marriage. Don't listen to /pol/ about "muh baste aryan womyn is to be worshiped and you're not a real man if you can't tame them".
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b972ba No.819216
>>819196
Seconded. Do not forget that Boomers cheered on the sexual revolution and destruction of the nuclear family… They are largely a generation of degenerates who recoil at the thought of women getting married at a young age, instead wanting to see them whore around until their 30s at the very least for whatever perverted reason. Do not take any criticism from backwards Boomers seriously.
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aa073b No.819249
I've been dating a really amazing woman for a little over 7 months now. Things have been going terrific, we get along so well and agree on so many important things (like having kids, where we want to live, not moving in together before marriage, etc). But last night she said that she's had a feeling for a while that she wants to go teach for 2 years in Ghana with the peace corps, it's a part of some program she looked into. She has 3 years of college left, I have one semester left, and I just really hope that she's not called to go away to someplace like that for such a long time. I just know that I'd be worried every day. So far it's the only thing we've come across in our relationship that's shaky, but I think we'll make it through whatever happens because we each have a really strong faith in God. But it may not even happen since she has such a long time left in school, and she might change her mind in that time or find a really nice job here.
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0fd6e7 No.819251
>>819249
Tbh, she most likely wants to join the Peace Corps so she could get her student loan debt forgiven. Not a bad trade imo two years abroad for no student debt if she plans on being a public sector teacher she doesn't technically have to join the Peace Corps to get her student loan debt relieved.
https://www.studentdebtrelief.us/student-loan-forgiveness/
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aa073b No.819255
>>819251
I hadn't even considered that angle, but I'm not sure if that's why she's interested in the idea. She told me it's something she's had on her heart for a while now, but she's not entirely sure if that's what God wants her to do or not. I'm sure she'll figure it out eventually.
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0fd6e7 No.819256
>>819255
Pray for her. Hopefully she doesn't go.
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aa073b No.819259
>>819256
Yeah I'm going to pray for her, she's also praying a lot to try and find out what God's will is for her. But like I said this is probably 3 years or so away, so I'm not too terribly worried. It's just that my mind just gets stuck on things sometimes and I had to get it off my chest.
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d92a13 No.819411
I've never been in a relationship before, and I'm not in a rush in getting in one (I'm 19 years old and in my third year of college studying Civil Engineering). However, reading all your comments has brought these questions to mind. If I do get into a relationship, …what do I do? I mean, I'm not like my friends who party at night and like to go to bars and dance etc. I mean, to be honest I just feel like I'll get bored if I do go there, and it's been +3 years since I've stepped in a club/bar. You go there for 2 hours, and then what? You guys know what I mean? Back to my original question, what do you do? I have no idea what goes on in a relationship in terms of progression. In addition, and I don't know if this is self defeating, but the idea that my relationship will fail eventually kind of puts me off from actually getting into one in the first place. How do I overcome this attitude?
I have so many questions, but for now these will suffice. Erm, pic unrelated.
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f31609 No.819420
>>793979
>I'm 34 and my gf just turned 21. Is she too young to marry?
No.
>my parents said "it's fine if you date her, but she's too young to marry and have a family with"
>"You can go out, live together, shag and sleep together, but nah marriage is too early!"
Boomers smh.
Just marry already m8, 21 is ideal.
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575e5d No.819484
>>791220
Ask your priest/father about it also probably a good idea to talk to your dad, especially if he is Christian too.
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575e5d No.819486
>>7912>>791234
I'm the same anon, losing my virginity isn't something I care about but I want kids and a loving wife. I've drastically lowered my standards but the one thing which I won't compromise on (virginity) is the think that most girls, even Christian girls lack. I kind of want to die for something too but there is nothing worth fighting for.
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83a0a1 No.819549
>>819255
>>819259
>>819249
Exhibit A: a result of "let's save the whole world by sacrificing ourselves while our home burns but it is all right because we could be called racist" brainwashing.
Talking her out of it forcibly won't help. I do not know what I would do in your case except for praying tbh
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ad906d No.819633
>>819196
I want to have a family so bad right now. I thought i didn't but i want to have kids who will love god like I love God. I want a wife who will nurture me spiritually as I do to her. I want to dedicate my life to having a family that i will Love god and each other. I will do everything to ensure they don't get lost on the way. Pray for me, brothers. I want more people to Love Christ, God, and Mary. i want to dedicate my life to the Lord!!! I will be baptized before Job searching in the fall and will try to prepare financially to have children asap. what do you guys think?
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d92a13 No.819681
>>819633
Don't rush it, anon. First, get baptised. Second, get enough money to purchase a home (don't rent). Third, save up this money while looking for potential wives. Again, don't rush it. Be patient, and let the LORD take care of it.
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ad906d No.819701
>>819681
that is what I'l do brother. i'll be baptized in the fal before i search for Jobs. I will start saving for such an undertaking. god bless brother, I will make myself worthy. I want to be the best I can be. A good dad, husband, friend, and above all else, a good follower of the lord. : )
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d92a13 No.819714
>>819701
That's the spirit mate.
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390242 No.819743
>>819681
>>819633
I'm going to countersignal here: don't buy property. If your parents have a home, ask them if you can live there. You're going to inherit it anyway.
The American nuclear family model has failed because it's basically modernism lite.
Also beware of golddiggers.
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ad906d No.819744
>>819714
on a different topic;confessions: do I have to say every sin a committed, even if I don't remember. Or can I generalize it with outgoing into detail? i worry of dying before confessing. Will I go to hell because of sins?
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ad906d No.819747
>>819714
on a different topic;confessions: do I have to say every sin a committed, even if I don't remember. Or can I generalize it with outgoing into detail? i worry of dying before confessing. Will I go to hell because of sins?
>>819743
my parents are planning on selling it, though they would like to keep it. (high tax state) i will see what I can do. I could try paying the property tax in part so they can have some relief. : /
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ad906d No.819749
>>819747
sorry the reply box seems to keep comments from previous posts in part. : /
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ad906d No.819750
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390242 No.819759
>>819747
>do I have to say every sin a committed, even if I don't remember
If you don't remember, then no you don't. Confession is not a magic spell that is cast and works as long as you do it "the right way". Do your best. For example, if you had a porn addiction you could just say that instead of telling the priest about every single time you had a lustful thought. You don't need to go into excruciating detail.
>high tax
Well that sucks. I guess in that situation it makes sense to move into a new home. Are you moving to a new state though?
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ad906d No.819765
>>819744
*without going>>819759
it has not been decided yet. Parents will have to make some decisions in the next few years. I will see if I can make enough to cover property tax at least
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ad906d No.819766
>>819765
see why does it keep saving past posts?
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ad906d No.819768
>>819766
I will try to make enough to pay for taxes. I hope i can keep the house
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ad906d No.819775
>>819768
also off topic. I created a thread on /gif/ on halfchan
>inb4 /gif/ people there do need help. someone said that saying we are not in a position to decide whether one goes to hell or not is Protestant. Is that true or are they lying or mistaking? I REALLY want to know
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ad906d No.819790
>also keep masturbating : v
Opinion discarded
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83a0a1 No.819924
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ad906d No.819937
>>819924
The point of the emoticons is to prevent people from misunderstand. It helps people know if i'm sarcastic… or serious.
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7d8e6a No.819967
I love my girlfriend so much I can't get any work done at work. What do I do? She occupies 99% of my thoughts
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253bfb No.819977
>>819790
Who was this in reply to?
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ad906d No.819984
>>819977
It was directed to someone who was, i think trying to talk like a steriotypical "Chad". he was attacking some of the statements in OP
ex.
>A women is like a flower that grows toward God
He then when attacking it saying it was foolish
then he attacked
>visit places where high quality women meet
by saying you need to "just go to the Gym"
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253bfb No.819985
>>819967
I’d love to have your problem. Most of us here cannot find any female worth pursuing. That’s just how winnie the poohed our generation is.
Also consider the possibility that you’ve made an lustful idol of her, put her on a pedestal. We have all done that at some point. A lot of what moderns consider love is just hallmark card cliche bull dung - this overly sentimental, emotional, feminised “love” is far from the love Christ teaches.
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ad906d No.819986
>>819984
He also stated he Jerked off twice a day. TMI
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7d8e6a No.819991
>>819985
It's not lustful. She brings joy to my heart. She is sweet and innocent. We go to mass together every sunday (and sometimes weekdays. ) sometimes she calls me so we can pray the rosary over the phone. I was her first kiss. Hold me /christian/ I'm a mess.
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253bfb No.819993
>>819420
18 is ideal imo. A woman without a college degree is much less likely to divorce-rape you.
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ad906d No.819994
>>819991
bless you anon. I hope you have a happy life and kids : D
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253bfb No.820000
>>819991
>kissing before marriage
>not lustful
lel
>sweet and innocent
Women are expert at playing that role. I’m just saying because I have been there: don’t fall in love with an image you have constructed of her. Because the image often times is not real and will let you down, it will make you let your guard down. You’re very likely setting yourself up for disappointment. She is a sinner like the rest of us in this rotten era.
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7d8e6a No.820031
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6a409b No.820032
>>820031
What was wrong with what that guy said?
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7d8e6a No.820036
>>820032
I didn't say he was wrong.
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ad906d No.820037
>>820031
hes likely lovestruck
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6e4218 No.820087
I haven't been strong in my faith for over a year now, after having a struggle with my faith last spring. In the mean time, I have begun to date a girl who is an international student at my university. I think it might have been just since I never had a girlfriend before, but at the beginning, I loved her and did everything I could to make living in a foreign country easy for her, especially helping her with English. We managed to get a job at the same company, and are now working together at least until December. But as time goes on, I realize that dating her is only causing suffering for both of us. When we started dating, neither of us were in a spot where we where ready for a relationship. We have already had a spat before where I broke up with her, but I quickly reconciled with her since I saw that our work life would be substantially affected.
We have been taking a religious studies course together, and I have realized we are more than just a healthy amount of different. She is not religious, but doesn't drink or fornicate, and in many ways is more virtuous than me. But she has a strong aversion to any organized religion. She is strongly opinionated and very sensitive, so I feel that I cannot speak my mind freely with her. I've started thinking about more actively practicing my faith, since this relationship has shown me that it is more important to me than I once thought.
There's more to it, but I don't have much time to write this. But it has become clear to me this relationship can't work, but ending it now would mean that we would be working together for 6 months with a weird air of tension. I don't know what to do, besides continuing to date her for 6 months until we move on. But I feel it's not entirely honest to do this, dating with the intention of breaking up.
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83a0a1 No.820144
>>820000
Kissing does not have to be sinful.
It can be. But it is not necessarily so.
I agree about the pedestal. Do not put the woman there. And the woman you show she deserves the respect of being able to hold your hand/kiss you….make sure it is not infatuation but it is based also on her character qualities. In other words she must be worth it as a person.
Treat all women with respect…but the woman that deserves your love should not be some girl that just looks good without any character qualities.
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83a0a1 No.820145
>>820087
Bad situation. This comes with dating women in your workplace/etc.
I would personally take the hard route because I take honor before anything else. I would not want to keep the bad relationship for 6 months just so we would feel "better". That;s my nature. It may not be fitting to everyone of course.
If your only reason to go back to it was "work" then you should…eventually…just end it.
Just my view from what you wrote here.
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83a0a1 No.820147
>>817671
Checking in. The situation looks brighter than I expected after few weeks. We do not "date" but we see each other 2 times per week despite the distance and mostly, unless she is stressed by work or by the still alive disappointment, the "meetings" are great. Even when she was at her worst recently, I just could have read the love from her eyes in the moment I saw her after few days/in the moment we parted.
We understand each other well I would say.
The only difficult thing for me is that I do not know how long I should wait. I also know she may change her mind in the meantime, but that is the risk.
All I do is that I do not take one step back when it comes to advancing our relationship and that I try to pray rosary daily.
So far it really seems God made us for each other so I do not mind waiting. If I am mistaken it will be a great lesson to me for sure…but I guess God has the plan for me. I should worry less about the details all the time.
This life is a travel by a night train anyway. What matters is eternity.
If this is not the one…the one will be somewhere else. And if not..I will have to take my fate humbly as a servant of God.
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c2ff5e No.820214
Whenever I speak to a woman, they seem to expect me to reply immediately. I suppose that is reasonable, but I just never have anything to say back to the woman. My mind is just blank. They always want to speak about something mundane, things to which I can't really reply. How do I cope with my autism?
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14cc19 No.820333
>>820214
It's all in your head
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0f6eeb No.820339
Is there no chance that a girl youre dating who was sexually active in the past and wants sex before marriage will be a good wife?
The premarital sex part is mostly my fault too
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74bd2b No.820357
>>820339
She will be a good wife if you can look her in the eye and tell her it's time to stop committing mortally sinful acts and that the both of you will start leading holier lives as of today (take her to mass/adoration after) and if she actually listens then you're good. If she's not interested you will have to pray on it and ask God for advice.
This is just an example though. Do whatever you want but the point is the both of you should be inclined to be holier and help each other. If she's causing you to since instead of repent then that's a big problem imo.
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74bd2b No.820358
>>820357
Causing you to sin*
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83a0a1 No.820401
>>820214
You should do nofap, work out to get your testosterone up.
Then you should trial/error conversation with women. Eventually you will learn the small talk and then build upon that.
>>820357
>If she's causing you to since instead of repent then that's a big problem imo.
This. If this sounds like larping to you, please reconsider what you believe in.
Furthermore if she causes you to go astray on purpose, unrepentantly, it won't go away once you are married.You are not yet together and she goes for it…will she be faithful when you are one flesh and one spirit?
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ad906d No.820458
>>820357
Will I see my spouse (If and when I get one) in heaven ?
or will we be separated forever?
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7ac45e No.820594
>>820585
>Is it Christian to swim in a bikini!?
I don't know but it's not the worst thing ever.
>Is this something we just have to deal with!?
Confident women will use their bodies to attract men. So yes. If medieval women had insta they'd be flashing their ankles. If you don't like it, wife her.
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f57baf No.820607
I have to speak out somewhere, and I guess here is the place to do so.So this girl at my school showed some interest in February, and we have basically been on a way towards relationship since then. I thought she was a traditional Christian, but did soon realize that she was extremely progressive, vegetarian, almost atheistic gal. So I prayed to God last Sunday to give me a sign(because I was slowly getting converted to show support for gay marriage). And after asking her out on a date, the sign I've got. She rejected me (which in my request to God meant that I should support traditional marriage), and now I feel bad. I knew on a rational level that I shouldn't miss her, as this relationship would stray me farther away from God. Also in the long run, it wouldn't work as I wouldn't like to raise my children with some crazed food ideology. It hurts however and it hurts a lot, it makes me cry sometimes too. I am glad that God gave me a sign, but it hurts anyway. I miss her warmth and hugs.I live in a very secular country and there are mostly Christians like that or Charismatic heretics in my area. I feel like I will never ever find someone who will love me (besides God and my parents) and it hurts. If you have read my post please pray for me.
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59dfb9 No.820681
>>820607
She would have been a poison Anon. This is definitely the best it could have turned out.
Here's what a single 24yo soldier suggests:
Use this pent up energy and emotional energy and pummel it into something constructive like working out or civic studies.
Nothing gets my mind off my hopeless situation concerning women like a TRS podcast man. Getting into traditional politics of the right wing bent will definitely bring you closer to God and farther away from fag marriage. Additionally you won't be so concerned with what females have to say on these subjects as it's really not fair to expect them to understand these things holistically. That's a lot of undue pressure on your expectations of her that she will inevitably fail to live up too and it would only serve to hurt both of you in the long term.
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2c1004 No.820796
I'm feeling pretty hopeless relationship wise. I'm seriously going to end up a spinster. Being patient and waiting for the right match is difficult because everyone in my age range is starting to have babies.
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6a409b No.820797
>>820796
How old are you, femanon?
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537edc No.820799
>>820796
What denom are you? Have you tried moving around? Look for a very conservative church, one in which you can find a man that wants you to be a stay at home mother.
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c39de0 No.820893
Going to try for babby #2 soon, pls pray for us to maek babby!!
>>820796
There are lots of single men in their 20s/30s at my FSSP church that are recent concerts on fire for Jesus who want a waifu
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537edc No.820902
>>820893
I will pray that you have enough children to fill a pew at Church!
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c2ff5e No.820978
>>820458
Yes, you'll see her, and yes, you'll recognize her.
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f30edf No.820986
>>820796
Same, except I'm a guy. There's quite a few couples my age with kids at my Church, but single women my age are uncommon. There's maybe 2 or 3 I've seen, but I don't know if they're truly single (their spouses may not attend Church) and I'm not keen on asking them out, before, during, or after Mass. The biggest "sign" I've gotten from them is them looking at me while smiling, but that's hardly anything to go off of. Anyway, God willing, we'll all meet the right one someday.
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16115e No.821062
>>820087
You better read this seriously Anon.
>But as time goes on, I realize that dating her is only causing suffering for both of us.
Yeah but, like, why man? What's the source of the suffering? The relationship itself or a flaw one of you has that could be worked on? If the root cause is more than a personal flaw(s) then stop reading. Cut that shit out of your life asap yes?
>When we started dating, neither of us were in a spot where we where ready for a relationship.
Nobody is. Well I say nobody but what I really mean is the fairytale where everything goes right and it's just sickeningly perfect is very rare. Just sick it up and mount up pussy.
>We have already had a spat before where I broke up with her, but I quickly reconciled with her since I saw that our work life would be substantially affected.
Yeah but was that the only reason? Or just a primary? A secondary perhaps?
>We have been taking a religious studies course together, and I have realized we are more than just a healthy amount of different.
Okay. That's not necessarily bad thing. It's also not necessarily a good thing either. It's almost meaningless tbh. Unless she's a transdimensional demon or some shit. That be less than optimal yes?
>She is not religious, but doesn't drink or fornicate, and in many ways is more virtuous than me. But she has a strong aversion to any organized religion.
Yeah that's typical of women in the postmodern age. She's not special or anything so you better pay close attention to these threads. Shit that may likely offend your sensibilities as "sexist" or "misogyny" is typically what you need to emulate in order to get your life together.
>She is strongly opinionated and very sensitive, so I feel that I cannot speak my mind freely with her.
Yeah but what's your point? Her opinion matters less than you think it does. Your leadership is the most important thing in her life when it comes to money, security, property, lifestyle, politics, and faith. Who actually gives a shit how sensitive she is guy? Just lead. If she doesn't follow you to church then she's a no-go.
>I've started thinking about more actively practicing my faith, since this relationship has shown me that it is more important to me than I once thought.
That's good. Get more involved and suck her in with you yes. Get her into the child care ministry or something to bring out her more nutrient instincts and shit guy. She'll make some girl friends at the church and will probably end up forcing YOU to go the church when you get lazy about it.
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14cc19 No.821251
Is flirting a sin? I flirted with my gf and she told me not to say stuff like that anymore. It wasn't vulgar or anything. I was just mirin and made a joke. I used pg language. Isn't affirmation required in a relationship? This includes affirmation to physical attraction
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2ff7e8 No.821256
>>821251
As long as it's not vulgar shouldn't really be a problem. Maybe your girlfriend is just a prude? Maybe she wants to be your wife first? I dunno bro
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3ad8a8 No.821301
>>821251
Honestly dude I know this is blunt but it sounds like she isn't attracted to you. Women like it when men they find attractive flirt with them, she may be your 'gf' but that doesn't necessarily mean she finds you attractive.
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a3f798 No.821308
>>821256
She's on her period does that make a big difference in how they take compliments? Maybe I have nothing to worry about
>>821301
That's pretty much how I feel right now but she's said otherwise in the past so I'm frustrated and confused. I want the relationship to work so I might be overlooking things that will bite me in the future. I don't know how much I should be "trying" to be attractive (/fit/+/fa/) before it becomes vanity. I have more traits than this anyway (which she has admired) but it always feels they are not enough without looking good.
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83a0a1 No.821319
>>821251
If flirting is explicitly sexual then I would say it is a sin. If it is just compliment, it's all right
Look if you were not vulgar and it was a good compliment(you have to know yourself)….she may have been out of her mood or maybe had her period. The mood of the girl, from my experience, highly influences how she takes the compliment even from the guy she likes.
Last time I got whacked in compliment was when the girl was few days after break up, the girl I am going out with now, and I made a compliment about her dress. She just hummed looking absolutely bored/irritated. I knew it was bad so I waited a whole week before trying anything else. The next compliment went fine because the break up wore off somewhat.
That being said. Be sure to compliment only when you believe what you are saying and be sure not so sound vulgar/sexual/anything like that. Suit the style to the girl. If she said you should not say such things anymore, respect that this style of compliment is out of the way
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c1ba5c No.821320
>>820902
God bless Anon, praying for you to make babbies too (if that is what you are called to do, or if not to be a good priest to make many spiritual children)
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83a0a1 No.821477
I saw the girl today and I already miss her. I missed her the moment she left. I wish we had more time on our hands than 1-2 dates per week. But that's all we can do so far now.
But perhaps it is for good. If the soul connection is strong enough the obstacle will increase the bondage. In other words it if this is meant to be then it will come.
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c02d69 No.822660
>>722985
So I met this really nice girl last month that I'm interested in, I asked her out and wanted to take her on a walk and show her the area, the problem is that she took her brothers(!) with her and idk how I should interpret it. I'm very fond of this girl, she is pious and modest and comes from a good family.
I don't know how to interpret the situation and idk if I should proceed quickly or exercise patience in trying to ask her out again/confess
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83a0a1 No.822662
>>822660
Generally speaking if a woman takes her friend/or whatever on something that is supposed to be a date, it is a bad sign
>how to interpret this
This does not have to mean she is not interested. If I was you I would ask her out for a coffee and see how things go. If she took her friends/brothers on other dates as well I would be concerned that she is not interested because she does not want to be alone with you.
Perhaps she was shy or did not get it this time. Try to be patient and try it again. And when you ask have that confident attitude that will ensure she won;t mistake it for "friendly meeting".
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c02d69 No.822664
>>822662
She at least liked the "date". It might just be that their family is pretty strict about dating, which is fine. It seems like I just need to exercise some patience and ask her out again
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83a0a1 No.822776
>>822664
if she said she enjoyed it then it's a very good sign.
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c02d69 No.822822
>>822776
haha not quite! She definitely did enjoy it but she framed it as "we" enjoyed it. I'm not too hung up on it anymore and will try to get together with her anyways. God is the only one who knows in the end, I just hope she's the one I'll spend the rest of my life with
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ad906d No.822891
>>722985
How did I do anons?
>Be me, volunteer at hospital a couple days a week
>Hospital has a chapel that I go to often after work
>Be today in Lobby. Voice tells me to go to chapel and meet someone. Obey
>Hour passes start to leave when A new volunteer is led through the chapel ( supply closet for smocks)
> Instantly interested. ask her name ( actually forget in the excitement ) Ask if she goes to Church.
>She said Yes. My heart skips a beat.
>Give my thanks and appreciation for joining the volunteers and set our separate ways ways
Even if nothing happens, i can at least feel confident that I might meet someone someday
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d93110 No.822895
>>822891
Good job, fren. I'll pray that you ger to see her again.
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ad906d No.822897
>>822895
thank you. Bless you too!
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83a0a1 No.823101
>>822822
Yeah I can relate to that. I just want to be with the woman I am meant to be with whole life. I am sick and tired of meeting new women and of their garbage.
For a longer time there seemed to be an ideal girl…now I am not so sure she is interested….Anyway it might pass I am just feeling really down in this respect so I should not be doomer posting.
It just seems all so hopeless at this point and moment.
I spent more than two years by self improvement. I forged myself and I am still doing so. I am about to have a stable income. I became sound spiritually. I meet a girl that passes the most of my requirements, she's my age, after a year or so would be probably also ready to settle down. I fall in love madly. But it gets complicated even before we start dating…….I know I will regret writing this. But I am really so sick and tired. I know I got hung up too much on the chance of her being the one. She might be. I still do not know. God will show that by time….but in days like today I get really depressed by it all. I will hardly meet a woman as good as her in most aspects. If this is not to be then I doubt I will meet a solid girl. Perhaps I never deserved it who knows….perhaps I shouldjust shut up already and take God's will as it is whatever it is. But I am unable to do that yet. I always slip back into praying "let it be her" or "please make me meet the woman already whoever it is". I know I should ask for the gift of Holy Spirit….and not just this and that thinking it works like a vending machine. I do not think so….But you get where I am coming from.
I excuse myself for this post. I am really on my worst today. I just see everything as nearly hopeless. I know for sure there is a solid chance of getting her…but at the same time I really discourage myself, telling myself it will end badly.
I will go just pray rosary so Lord gives peace to my heart.
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d6d47e No.823233
>>820607
I took time and prayed for you
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970dbe No.823261
>>794797
remember that the more you suffer the closer to Christ you get
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2d7b36 No.823273
>>823101
Have you told her how you feel, anon?
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a737d5 No.823401
I'm currently 20, about to turn 21 in five months, and I fear I've developed an affinity for a woman. In almost all cases, I fail to find myself attracted to women due to a persistent cost/benefit analysis internally, not to mention myself simply not having the proper resources to provide for a hypothetical family, making the prospect more or less a game if pursued at this time.
To add onto the dissuasion on my own side, this woman in question is also not financially independent (lives with her parents), and shares values similar to the modern left, including on things such as abortion and prostitution. Let's add a cherry on top, and also say she is a Mohammedan.
These, and others which should have no need to be mentioned in light on the previous examples, are objective indicators that pursuing any sort of romantic relationship is in neither party's best interest. I find myself with a yearning still for her. How do I overcome such distraction? Note that we interact on a daily basis, so avoidance is not an option.
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05c227 No.823433
>>823401
Is she the only girl who has been giving you attention lately (or at least more attention than women usually give?)
This happens to single guys all the time. As soon as someone that logically makes sense to get together with gives you attention, you will change your mind. I don't say this in a demeaning way either, it's completely normal and affects lots of men including myself
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a737d5 No.823452
>>823433
Essentially. I'm not an outgoing person (met her through a business contract and became friends over the course of). I'm not stupid enough to let my emotions use her as a crutch. I'm more concerned with actually finding my vocation anyway.
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83a0a1 No.823676
>>823273
I did that right when I knew what she meant to me. Unluckily she broke few days earlier then with a guy when I did that…so she said she is not ready yet for another relationship and she "needs time". So we kept going out 1-2 times per week which is a lot, considering the distance. It has been a month or so and now I should probably go for the conclusion of all this….I just get irritated by everything those days…particularly women. The bad part is that I have never been in this situation and the girl is particularly challenging for me. I have to gather all my courage to do not just the talking… I tried that last time. Now I will just embrace her and kiss her.
I do not know if this is the thing. It has not left me for more than a month the same driving force to be with her and I literally did not care about seeing random beautiful women on streets. Which has never been the case before. But lately she was acting a bit weird and to be honest I am just getting annoyed by it all right now. I know women are formeable, unstable and always changing. But sometimes it is just too much for me to bear.
Perhaps I should just stop caring already. The more I care the worse for me. Each time for the last two years. This weekend I am so irritated that I even doubt if women are worth all the troubles. But celibate is not my way. If it was everything would be simpler.
I feel like I might lose hope if this goes badly. I just pray it does not happen.
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cbc663 No.823797
>>821477
Iktf bro. Don't forget you need to live your life and be happy on your own if you really want things to work out with a girl, i.e. focus on your work/spiritual life when you're not with her.
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cbc663 No.823800
I need counseling my fellow anons. I met a girl that I like a lot. She's traditional, pretty, humble, funny, etc. I'm doing my best to not put her on a pedestal but that ain't easy. She also seems really into me, and we had two dates that went well so far. However, I'm concerned about our difference of age. I'm 25, and she's 20. It doesn't sound that bad, but I feel like I should be married already, whereas she probably won't be ready before a couple of years. Where I leave it's extremely rare to see someone marry in it's early 20s. I also think she might just be trying to get a boyfriend, and isn't thinking about marriage at all.
What do you think?
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cbc663 No.823801
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0fd6e7 No.823813
>>823800
Well you said in your post that she is traditional maybe she's just trying to be a housewife. Does she have plans to go to college or anything? You may be 5 years older than her but 1) that's not really that big of an age gap 2) women find older men more attractive because they have more wisdom than them and are more likely will be able to make her a wife and mother.
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c02d69 No.823869
>>822660
I'm this anon
Texted her but she didn't even open it while she did read the text I sent in the groupchat we're both part of. Guess I won't make it after all
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83a0a1 No.823907
>>823869
>Guess I won't make it after all1477
Stop hiding behind the screen and ask the girl out in person. She will respect you for doing that. She is more likely to agree then.
Most importantly you will respect yourself more for having the guts to do it.
Go for it.
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c02d69 No.824016
>>823907
She's still on vacation so that's not possible yet. She has since also texted me so it's all good. I'm always very neurotic about this stuff so I worry too much
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09c581 No.824034
Late to let you all know, but I proposed to her and she said yes.
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ad906d No.824040
>>824034
Which anon are you?
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3aa316 No.824048
>>824040
>>824040
It looks like my comment is long gone.
I’m the geology anon courting an education major who wants to be a stay-at-home mom.
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83a0a1 No.824059
>>824016
Oh I see. Good going. I wanted to write that one should not get dragged into wait for the reply game that women like to play but lately I have been annoyed about the same thing. Not neurotic as I had been in the past but just annoyed.
In our age, women have solid opportunities to reply. If they do not do that they either play hard to get or they simply do not care.
I learned not to care about the reply delay but sometimes I get very annoyed by this.All women do it to some extent. Some less, some more.
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83a0a1 No.824060
>>824034
Congrats anon! Good to see that at least somebody in this thread seems to be reaching for the goal.
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ad906d No.824084
>>824048
nice, good for you, anon! bless you
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b4ff6b No.824111
Well I've been trying Catholicmatch for a while now seeing how I'm in New Zealand and in my city I'm the only practicing Catholic between the ages of 18-28. I'm stuck here for some time due to my job and so thought I may as well passively search for others through a dating site.
I like the site, the issue is that New Zealand doesn't have many people. There are only 6 viable ladies who use the site currently, and of them I only was interested in two. One of them I had a good chat with but we decided though we were both heavy /pol/tards we're also both too thick headed to make things work out if we ever got in a fight. I was okay with this.
Anyway that's some basic background information. The other lady that I'm interested in joined a few days ago, I messaged her and we got to chatting. Nice gal, convert to Catholcism for 3 years just like myself. Wants plenty of kids, wants to be a full-time mother if possible. All great attributes. The first time I messaged her it took a day for her to respond, but then she would respond within minutes. We chatted throughout the day but as we chatted her answers became shorter and then shorter again. We've found out we have some mutual friends, established that I'm coming to her city in a month for a friends ordination to the Priesthood. She knows the guy and wants to go to the ordination as well.
The problem is I'm not sure how to proceed, the conversation feels like it will get very boring and dull if things proceed like this and the short answers shes been giving (about a sentence). And I'm not sure if I should just ask her out to a coffee closer to the time I'm in her city, or if I should keep trying to keep chatting for the next month if I should slow down on the chatting.
tl;dr - I can't gauge the interest of a girl I'm chatting to at the moment due to shorter responses and the flow isn't coming as easily as some could. She responds quickly, and this morning she confirmed we're a 'match' which is one of the dating sites system. We're 80% compatible or something like that.
How should I proceed? Am I overthinking? I don't like keeping conversations going if they feel they're forced to respond. I'm also fairly secure in myself given handsome and /fit/ with plenty of women after me. I include this bit because I don't think I'm insecure, though I am feeling slightly autistic having posted this
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d9081b No.824140
>>824111
>last line
Don't worry about it.
Here's a bump for so somebody with more insight can see this.
Also,
CHECKED
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d9081b No.824141
>>824140
Pardon the typos.
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2198d3 No.824165
>>824111
Is she a virgin? If not, stay away. That's my advice. I know you're going to ignore it and call me a muslim. Ok. But at least I said what your father should have.
It's pretty obvious she likes you. You should take it slowly and save sex till marriage. If she asks you to not kiss til marriage, the better, unless she's not a virgin and you're being played like a beta bux.
Wishing you all the best. And remember: no hymen = no diamond.
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b4ff6b No.824206
>>824165
>Is she a virgin? If not, stay away
Wouldn't know at this point, I've only chatted to her for a couple of days.
Also I feel that would be a bit hypocritical of myself as I myself am not a virgin, I was a filthy degenerate before conversion.
I'll try keep chatting with her and see how things progress. Worst comes to the worst I guess I'll just ask her out to coffee closer to when I head to her city for the ordination.
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a60d2a No.824262
What does /christian/ think of pics related? Is it good advice on women?
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3741d4 No.824269
>>824262
Anything that talks about etheric bodies and other occult crap and puts sex on a sacred pedestal should be treated with deep suspicion. This is essentially the way of thinking of Satanists - everything is about sex and power, nothing else matters outside of that sphere.
For a practicing, faithful Christian who keeps to tradition, there is little useful information there that he either doesn't already know or has any interest/relevance to him.
The goal of life isn't to have fun. It isn't to avoid all instances of sexual activity either. Rather it's to put everything in its proper place and time. Desires and passions, when uncontrolled are a source of spiritual dissolution (read: death). Relations between the sexes in marriage should be regulated by love and mutual understanding, not constant biological urge to procreate.
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83a0a1 No.824342
>>824262
I will agree with previous anon. I admit I did not read the whole part two. I read the part I completely a long time ago somewhere. What I gathered from the part two is that the sexual activity is put foremost there.
Recently I read the "metaphysics of sex" by Evola. It was in a similar manner. I have lost a lot of respect for the guy. He acts as all-knowing intellectual but he does not understand the christian concept of marriage and of sex. Always calls it "puritanical" "moralistic" etc. Then he goes on to describe kabbalistic views, hindu views and even satanic views of sex there. The interesting thing is that sex is treated as the end-means to an end of "transcendence" the so called "sacred rituals". The goal of activity never is procreation for those practices. The author argues that one does not become a slave to his passions as Augustine puts it. That proper Tantric tradition this and that….
I will just summarize: given the effort put into "inspecting" foreign and esoteric practices, he might have put more time into looking what christianity stands for… The truth is that Christian view puts man into ascetic position no matter what he does. He may no longer nurture his horny desires no matter which way he chooses. People dislike that…call it puritanism etc. and then go for the "truth" as they see it, that is more convenient.
The breaker is that the only Truth is Christ.
After reading the book I really grew suspicious to anyone going with this sort of things…I advice to do the same the same. Before you know it you are involved in near-satanic concepts without even realizing it.
The first sentence: its all about sex.
this alone should ring a bell.
For the record I am not saying those eastern views do not hold any truth at all….some of them do to some extent. The problem is that many of them include spiritual poison and that some people serve them with additional spiritual poison.
Why drink from such a cup anon?
I would rather be called "puritan" or "moralist" or purity spiraler than to lose my soul on intellectual experiments that result in me accepting degeneracy.
I am still shocked by the book but it does confirm the suspicions I had about the guy. There's no way his "religious concepts" are compatible with christianity. He may have good points here and there but I would not take him seriously on religion, especially christianity
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b4ff6b No.825045
>>824111
Further to this post, I tried messaging a bit more but it wasn't really working out so I left it for a few days.
Then messaged her just saying I'm not great at chatting on sites and asked her out for a coffee and a chat in person when I'm in the city for the ordination. She sounded fairly excited to accept, so we'll see how that goes.
>>824262
The section 1, though a bit condescending to women from my perspective did have some truth to it. Section 2 as the others have pointed out starts getting into some weird crap, so I didn't read through it all.
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a330b9 No.825090
Found this recently.
Really sweet.
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5de828 No.828243
This general used to be on the first page at all times. Did everybody find a gf and leave?
Anyways, I'd like to get some advice from you wise anons. Last summer, I started dating a girl that I met at the latin mass. I had known her for a couple of months but I wasn't attracted to her. I then realized she was into me, and told myself, why not try something, she looks like a good girl. We had a couple of dates that went very well. I understood that I underestimated her beauty because of how modest she looks, and I discovered a rebellious and strong personality hiding beneath a shy facade. Long story short I fell for her pretty hard. Since it was summer and we had our plans, we could hardly see each other. Then I went to study abroad, so it became worse. I managed to see her when I came back a couple of times. It was great but not really moving forward, because of the months passing by between each date. I kept sending messages, and called her two times during my time abroad and it was good too.
My problem is this: I just graduated and I'm back at my parents house. I'm making plans for the future, which is very uncertain for now. I don't feel at ease at all with this situation, even though it's very exciting. It's been a week already. I desperately want to see the girl, but I didn't have the guts to do it yet. The uncertainty is blocking me it seems. A good friend told me it's okay, I just have to forget her until I have planned out my future, which makes sense. That being said, she will probably think I lost interest if I spent anymore time here not even messaging her.
tl;dr: I started seeing a girl before going abroad for 5 months, am now back but wondering if the time is right to see her again.
What do bros? I know this is full blog posting but it helps me to write things down. Tell me if I'm just being a huge p*ssy.
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9281f8 No.828284
>the absolute state of western women
Scandinavian here. Girls here are extremely slutty, vulgar, leftist and generally unlikable. Even if you're chad, which I'm not, you'd have to settle for some very used goods. I'm about to give up and move to asialand. Yellow girls seem much better.
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7ddd81 No.828301
Hello Anons, I was wondering if you could give me some advice on my current situation. The beginning might not seem too connected, but to me it is. Anyways.
>Be out of touch with Christianity for a long time
>Decide last year to start learning Japanese out of the blue
>Work on my own for a few months
>Join a language class last summer
>Didn't really meet anyone interesting there, but…
>Over time, start looking at one of the girls in my class
>Talked a bit beforehand, but never really hit it off
>Decided I wanted to get to know her better
>She stopped showing up to class near the end of the semester
>Determined to talk to her
>Old lady in class had her email and gave it to me
>Emailed, got her number, we started talking
>Find out she's VERY religious
>Working at a seminary
>Wants to become a missionary
>Invites me to church
>We hang out a bit outside of church
>We talk frequently
>Gonna have a real date with her in a couple of weeks
I hadn't been inside of a church for probably 5 years. A lot of my current friends are atheist or agnostic and it's really driven a wedge in my relationship with God. With that being said…
>Have to move recently
>Kinda got screwed over in moving into another house
>Currently not living with atheists and agnostics
>Looking to get a place on my own
>Got a new job
>Won't be working with old friend group which consisted of mainly atheists and agnostics
With everything that's happened since last year, I can't help but feel that God's influence in my direction in life is staring me right in the face, but I don't know exactly what I need to do to continue. What my major problem right now is this; I really like this girl. She's lovely and we've confessed a lot of our lives to one another. But she has grand plans to move to Japan as a long-term missionary, which is a wonderful and pious goal. She doesn't necessarily want to jump into a romantic relationship due to this, but I can't help but feel that God has plans for the both of us. I haven't stopped learning Japanese, I do it every day. And I've continued to grow as a Christian and I'm happy to be back into a Christian environment. I guess I'm wondering what you guys might think of this situation. We've hit it off pretty well since. We have a lot of the same hobbies outside of church and we make a lot of time to see one another. Another question I might have is how do I try to get her off my mind? We're both busy, and I don't want to come off as someone who's needy for attention by bugging her all day, but I haven't had a real relationship in a long time, and I didn't realize how much I craved it until recently. I've been reading some books, both religious and not, working out, videogames aren't distracting me like they used to. Been really trying to dig into stuff like, "Act Like Men," by James MacDonald to bolster my life as a Christian man. Should I just try to grin and bear it, or do you guys have anything to suggest? Thank you guys.
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5de828 No.828303
>>828301
>I can't help but feel that God has plans for the both of us.
Anon, we all feel like this when we have a hard-on for a girl. Most of the time we're just deluded, and trying to justify pursuing the girl. Are you sure it's God's will?
Also, you sound like you just recently came back to Christianity. Maybe you should start by increasing your faith and being more devoted before going further with the girl. The question you should be asking yourself is "what can I do to serve the Lord?". That being said, you sound like you're gonna make it and you're on a good path. Pray everyday and ask guidance from God.
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7ddd81 No.828304
>>828303
Thanks anon. I understand, and I agree. I'd love to be absolutely sure before I do anything, but I know the Lord doesn't work like that. That being said, I'd love to make sure that we're going to have something that's going to work out before any rash decisions are made. I'd hate more than anything for a relationship to end in divorce. With THAT being said, I feel like it would be a shame if I didn't at least try to grasp the opportunity presented before me, which is kinda what's happening now. I'm just unsure. But I'll take your advice and grow my faith in God. I don't know if something like missionary work in general is the right path for me. I've been aimless for so long, it's nice to finally see direction in my life. I'll be sure to pray as much as I can, as much as is needed.
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3f62a3 No.828307
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9281f8 No.828353
>>828307
Is it really better there? Seems like you have the same issues.
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45b365 No.828760
>>828301
well, if you want an outsider's perspective on if those are coincidences are interesting or not, I will just say that yes those things do seem interesting. I have a similar background to your own, btw, with regard to coming back to christianity after a long time without it. But so far anyway, I will say that yes it does seem to me that following God does often seem to involve following things like exactly you are describing, coincidences and the like. God is very personal and very real. Having said that, I will also just say that the other anon who responded to you strikes me as providing very wise advice also. It's been my experience that that passage in the bible is literally true, Matthew 6:33 where it says "But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you." And I think you are very wise to notice and it is indeed very interesting the coincidences you mention – but I think maybe it's about following those type of things toward God, because you are following God. Not toward a result, or some specific fruit or something you see and desire. Way easier for me to say this to someone than to do this, don't get me wrong, I totally fail on this every single second of the day basically. But sometimes I do try to convince myself in my more lucid moments that really it's about worship of God–action for the sake of action, not for the fruits of my action. God can take the fruits of my action, surrendering the best of everything to God, like Abel did. God can give to me things and people, or God can take them from me when I get too attached to them or start desiring them more than Himself. It's also been my experience that God really does reward you openly for your sacrifices and surrenders in secret and work for him in secret. God knows you like her. But, watch what God does when you follow Him all the way. For instance, maybe by doing whatever you are supposed to be doing, you will be led through this whole thing to the girl God /does/ have for you, which may or may not be the one you currently have in mind. Anyway those are my 2 cents. God is very real though. You sound like you are already very aware. Those coincidences really do sound interesting. Keep on keeping on, and keep the faith, brother!
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9281f8 No.829477
Bumping this thread since the relationship general used to be great on the old 8chan board. I'd like to go back.
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242993 No.829486
>>829477
Checked. I feel like people don't visit the thread because the OPs picture is dead. Maybe we should make a new one.
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9281f8 No.829601
>>829486
Yeah, that's a good idea.
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a3d33a No.829687
How do I learn more about women? I.E. I've been living with them my whole life but would like to
find something similar in life which could help someone to do that psychology and familiarity wise. It would be very helpful.
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1d71ff No.833203
I needed to try and get another opinion on this situation, as it's currently driving me up the wall and talking about it will probably at least help to calm me down mentally.
To give some background, I've known this woman for over two years, and I've already asked her out once. She rejected me for a few different reasons, one was that her family was Muslim (they're Turkish, to be specific) and they'd not approve of her dating a non-Turk. She'd recently gotten out of a relationship as well with a mutual friend of ours at the time, who was also Christian and she wasn't over him. I let it rest up until the year anniversary of when I first attempted to ask her out, and in that time some things have come up in conversation multiple times that are giving me mixed signals again.
>She is okay with moving in together, preferably on a farm house
>She shares deeply personal issues she has with me, and I with her
>We trust each other enough to go from online only to visiting each other IRL, and sending one another gifts on a regular basis
>When we do visit each other, we always have a good time and neither of us wants to go until the very last minute
>She's taken an interest in Church, going to Mass with me on one occasion and a few days ago telling me she's buying The Power of Silence by Robert Cardinal Sarah, which I had told her I adored some months ago.
>Even planning on traveling outside the USA (Turkey, Rome, and Germany are the big ones right now)
There are some downsides though that give me hesitations about tempting fate and trying to ask her out again.
<She's mentioned multiple times not actively seeking a relationship/marriage
<She wants the man she's in a relationship with to be a Muslim
<I promised her the first time around that I'd do away with those feelings, and I fear that bringing up the topic again will be a form of betrayal
<I know that, if she rejects me again, because this has been a repeated cause of mental stress and emotional stress, I will be forced to terminate contact with her, which is something I don't want to do.
<I have difficulties relating to women in a general sense, see pic related for an example
<She refuses to talk about Islam with me, because she's culturally proud of being Muslim but doesn't follow anything but the dietary laws and the Ramadan fast, for some strange reason.
<I have a meeting with a Vocations Director in the coming weeks, and my priest believes that if I make a good impression, I could be in seminary by September, so there's sort of a time limit.
As of right now, I've gotten to three options of how to deal with this situation:
1. Shove these emotions down and enjoy the friendship I currently have.
2. Take the risk and, if rejected, cease all contact.
3. Cut out any doubts and just cease contact right away until I get into seminary, assuming I'm vouched for and can go.
To be honest, I'm leaning towards the third option at the moment, but I'm not exactly clear headed and I'm totally inexperienced in terms of the dating/courting realm, so some advice would be appreciated.
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181e2c No.833211
>>829486
>>829601
I don't quite remember what the picture was but it could have been this one.
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27a78d No.833371
>be me
>never dated before in my life
>get a membership on a catholic dating site, figuring i'll be lucky if i strike up a conversation with anyone
>one week later, cute girls from all over the world descend on me
Send help lads!
(seriously tho, is the shortage of practicing young Catholic men that serious?)
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1af5ff No.833375
Most of the women I've dated expressed interest in me and I just took the step to make them my girlfriend.
When it comes to women I have 3 things that never fail me. I've learned this through my experience. This is in order of importance.
1. Have Drive; Have purpose; Have faith
A man is driven by something. A goal, a hobby, a project, a skill he's refining. This is for his own benefit and eventually the world. This is the thing that keeps him sane, keeps him grounded, and pins his existential dread with practical purpose.
If you don't have this you will be tossed around by your passions. It's important to stress that we do this, (and the other tips) not to gain a woman's favour, but to gain respect with ourselves and other people in the hopes of contributing to the greater good.
What makes this attractive to women? _The entire purpose of women is to take your precious attention_. When you focus on a woman and not your greater goal, what game will she play to try to get you? There's no challenge, you are a guaranteed catch, a guaranteed resource (attention). But if you have a purpose, she will go crazy, plot, and daydream about grabbing daddy's attention.
And most importantly, it shows you drive your existence, and not that you're not controllable by her beauty and charm.
2. Always be ready to walk away
When things do not go your way, you can try to repair and understand why, and solve it. Unfortunately, when it comes to women, they either do s— to test you, or you simply cannot understand or use reason to resolve things.
When she pulls you emotionally , always ask yourself if you are responding with the truth or if you're responding to coddle or please her. You should always stick to the hard truth.
When it's beyond talking and you know she will never compromise or acquiesce even to disagree, this is when you walk away. Don't ask "What's wrong babe?". Preserve your power by accepting you cannot win or understand if even she doesn't know or doesn't want to tell you.
Walking away when they violate your ethics,values and principles, and clearly explaning what she did to her without emotion displays high-value.
Not only did she not affect you, you were able to state why and why you didn't like it, and take action that matched your words.
A simp would ignore his values being crushed and blatant disrespect and find fault in himself when there;s none, and do everything to be agreeable to keep the Woman.
3. The power of association
This is probably the only direct use psychology to gain favour. And it;s not manipulation if you do this genuinely. In fact, it's verbalizing what's true and what we already do.
Associate yourself with good and happy things. Minimize associating negative and unhappy things.
Look into Classical conditioning. If she associates you with fun, love, and a good time, she will naturally crave you. Always try to show up 100% when you're with her. It's better to reschedule or even gracefully bow out when you know you can't perform.
I'm not saying be a clown for her, I'm saying show her a good time. You can be fun, charming, loving, without being a simp. Just literally do activities wiith her and fill her with good memories. These memories will fill her head when you're doing your thing. This is what drives her to give you that "I Miss you" text.
—
II hope this helped you. Notice how i never once mentioned confidence or nofap, or tactics or techniques to hunt, which all have their benefits and cons.
I never "hunt" or pick up girls. They come to me. And when they come to me, I show my best natural self.
So in summary, have purpose, be ready to walk away, and show up to give her a good time.
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4d8b3f No.834022
>>833371
Which site are you using?
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86e5a4 No.834038
>>834022
CatholicMatch. In my limited experience on the site, you'll be successful if you:
>are tall and/or attractive
>find common interests (your shared Catholic faith, for starters)
>have a sense of humor
>flirt (use in moderation)
Your income, education, location, etc. don't matter very much, at least not during this phase. Of the girls I've talked to for more than a few days, most of them are willing to travel/relocate to my state even. These are 18-20 y.o. girls with families… I'm curious to hear how other Catholics have fared on CM (or with dating in general), because I have no experience with dating and this is a piece of cake.
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249d0e No.834046
My eye and heart are caught by younger girls (12-16). I dream about marrying one of these some day, but it’s unlikely due to societal standards. I don’t wanna marry some girl who’s already had sex with a bunch of guys and is past her prime femininity, her prime health. So many girls are growing up being tainted by the world and its ways. Sadly the more attractive they are the more risk for their spiritual well-being. I seem to be more attuned with younger girls, and younger people in general. Some of the girls I admire, it seems as though they are admiring me, too. I hope I don’t come across as creepy, or being selfish, or wanting to just have sex with them, because that’s not my intention. I just think they’re so beautiful and loving, and I want to be around them all the time.
I don’t know what I’m going to do. God help me.
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0b3677 No.834094
>>834046
You know that marrying a young girl means she grows up right
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249d0e No.834102
>>834094
by the time she’s grown we would have already created a good relationship and hopefully she will have matured spiritually unlike most girls do
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423acd No.834693
I dunno if anyone will respond but I have no clue what's going on with me. I overthink things alot,like stuff that involves beatings and death. I've acted out on them,when I was little but I dont act like that anymore but still have bad thoughts. I can't stop thinking about me quitting the wrestling team,I can't stop thinking about how my coaches giggled at me or how my teammates looked and kind of treated me differently,I can't stop thinking about my cats running out when I go far distances. I'm socially awkward I have a hard time remembering things or following directions and my mind goes blank. When I read my bible I have a audiobook because i can't concentrate. I don't know what's going on with me and I dont even know if I truly believe in god or love him when I'm so addicted to lust. I know I need to pray and to see a psychiatrist or therapist. This whole corna thing has helped my mental state a little because I don't go outside anymore. I also have paranoia that someone is stalking me,that's a whole other story and so is the wrestling one but I'm just trying to sum it all up. I'm starting to slowly hate my life,I've gone back to being a loser with no friends and only my parents to talk to.
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8753a0 No.840188
I know this is supposed to motivate people into getting a girlfriend, but I would like to talk to people who wish they would stop desiring romantic company.
How could I ease my longing for a girlfriend? Has someone struggled with it genuinely? What tactics would be good? I guess deleting relationship websites is a start, but does anyone know good books or videos about this?
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7c2992 No.840189
>>834693
>I've gone back to being a loser with no friends and only my parents to talk to.
lol, implying. Perhaps people have different necessities for contentment, nevertheless I only talked to my "friends" of school at school, my "friends" of work at work, and outside of that it's at most my parents if anyone at all. Nevertheless, that yields no sorrow. I don't know, it's just what do those who hang out with a bunch of people truly gain that makes you view them as "winners" as opposed to "losers". I ask because, if that's the definition of loser, I fall into that catagory and am pretty content–hence I'm wondering what those "winners" have that I would want (pretty sure nothing, but I'd love to know what the mindless normalfags deem valuable).
>>840188
>ease my longing for a girlfriend?
>videos, books, etc.
Since when has a personal decision necessitated books, videos, and the like? Like many other things, this is just the concept of having a resolute will.
Of course, disposition plays its own role. For example, if you're overly logical, perhaps you can convince yourself that you will never have a relationship. Of course, some might not call this Christian, i.e. self-deception or something like that. Nevertheless, as long as one's deduction is rooted in facts, is what's stated not truth?
tl;dr just think about yourself and determine that you can't ever be with anyone. You will know you did it right if you feel pain atop your left-breast, i.e. your heart.
Of course, if yours is more so a choice as opposed to giving up due to infeasibility, it's indeed a bit trickier, but the same method could apply. However, at that point it would be self-deception considering you would be capable of having a relationship.
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0b3677 No.840193
>>840188
>How could I ease my longing for a girlfriend?
Getting married did it for me
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80fbb5 No.840200
>>840193
I see no one complemented your wit. It made me laugh something fierce. I wish to use it one day. I hope when the time comes I don’t botch the delivery.
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edc431 No.840408
>>834693
I've been here. I was a loser, no friends, hated school, had uncontrollable thoughts of violence and lust, etc. I have a hard time concentrating and so much more.
Anyways, here's a few things to do:
1. Talk to God. Don't just read the Bible, but talk to Him. Pour out your heart, every day, all the time. Tell Him how you feel. Tell him your desires. Tell him your longings.
2. Be consistent with prayer. Pray to Him. Doesn't have to be long, you can build up and hey, you can just do the Lord's prayer for a time if it helps.
3. Be consistent with reading the Bible. Don't overwhelm yourself. Start off with five minutes a day and slowly build up your appetite.
4. Spend five minutes silent a night listening to God. Just say, "I give this time to you, God. Please speak to me." Don't give up if he doesn't respond. He will. But just give him five minutes.
Also, stay on the team. When a worry arises, just say, "Lord, I give this to you." Concentrate on him and not the worries. Your life will change and it'll be incredible.
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993ec9 No.840832
Hey bros. :^)
I've never posted in this general before. I was planning to make a separate thread about my questions, but I decided to simply post here. So with that being said, I just wanted to ask you guys a few questions.
Do you guys care about the ethnicity/race of your girlfriend/wife? Also, do you guys care about which denomination that your girlfriend/wife is a part of or are you okay with her being in a different one as long as she's a Christian?
My main issue is that I'm interested in Orthodoxy and plan to be a part of the church, but very, very few women of my ethnic group are Orthodox. I've never met one in real life. I'd have to go to another country to (somewhat) more easily find them. At this rate, I'm planning to simply find a Catholic girl in my country and just convert her to Orthodoxy.
Perhaps, I'm making this all more difficult for myself than it really needs to be. I'm open to changing my mind in regard to miscegenation. For basically all my life, I was totally fine with marrying a White woman or Black woman or Asian woman or Latina or Mixed race woman. I didn't care. I still don't care in the sense that I'm still attracted to women of basically all ethnicities. But, over the past year or so, I've grown to become against miscegenation. I knew a girl who was a Protestant and we got along really well. I had never been so close to a girl before. But I didn't fully pursue her, partly because we weren't the same race.
Are anti-miscegenation beliefs unfounded for us Christians? Is it silly to be worked up over this issue as Christians? I hold these new convictions now, but at the same time, I still wish it was simpler and I could just date outside my "race". But currently, those are my beliefs and as a result, it will make finding a good Orthodox wife of my same "ethnic group" very difficult. Trying to instead convert a non-Orthodox girl sounds like a pain too.
As a Christian, am I silly for holding these beliefs in regard to race-mixing? If most of you guys do think it is silly to limit myself in such a way, perhaps I'll give it some hard thought and reconsider who I'm looking for as a girlfriend and future wife. If I do change my mind, then I might even get in contact again with that Prottie girl and try to see if she'd be down to tag along as I visit Orthodox parishes. She was really sweet and when I was visiting different Christian fellowships at my university, she was excited to tag along with me then, so she'd probably be glad to tag along with me now.
So yeah, thanks for reading, anons. Appreciate any replies and general thoughts. Sorry if this is bringing up /pol/-tier kind of discussion. I was torn whether I should post this in this general or not, but I decided to do so in order to not create another thread that might've been unnecessary. Anyways, yeah, thanks for reading, bros. God bless.
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21d167 No.840840
>>840832
>Do you guys care about the ethnicity/race of your girlfriend/wife?
Yes
>Also, do you guys care about which denomination that your girlfriend/wife is a part of
Yes
Even if you belong to a specific race and a specific denomination, you can still fall in love with a woman that doesn't. It happened to me before. Does it mean you should pursue her? Should you pursue a woman every time you fall in love with one? Heck no. Marriage isn't (only) about love and sexual attraction. It is a social contract that aims at creating a stable and happy family. Even though race and denomination might seem irrelevant when it comes to love, they are essential when it comes to raising children, and for the long term stability of the family. Race is a huge barrier between two human beings, that only love can overcome. However, once the passion diminishes a few years into marriage, the barrier becomes hard to overcome again. It is not wise to bet on the passion you have at time "t" for holding your marriage together in the decades to come.
About denomination: it's equally as important, though in this case, the girl can change (convert). Girls easily change their minds, even more so when they are told to by a man they love. However, how will you ever be sure that she's doing it out of good faith, and not just because she loves you? How well will she educate your children in the faith in that case?
I'm not saying finding the right girl is easy, we're all in the same boat anon. I'm just giving you some thoughts on the subject. Maybe if finding a girl seems impossible now, it means that God wants you to pursue Him first.
>If most of you guys do think it is silly to limit myself in such a way, I'll do this and that
Anon, you shouldn't let some retards on the internet have that much of an influence on yourself, me included.
God bless
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c96222 No.841184
>>825090
That is very lovely.
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f2221b No.842398
I wonder if the girl who was supposed to be my wife was aborted 20 some years ago.
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