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Welcome to bantb, the Random Banter Board!

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File: 2d1f292c9e41e47⋯.png (37.32 KB,576x1024,9:16,epstien.png)

 No.242 [Last50 Posts]

Story thread. write the next sentence and continue the story

once upon a time

____________________________
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Post last edited at

 No.243

a man named joseph

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 No.248

bought a dozen doughnuts

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 No.249

He liked doughnuts

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 No.281

but this was no ordinary doughnut shop

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 No.324

For inside the shop

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 No.339

>>324

he had a huge cock

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 No.341

>>339

so huge was his cock the chads felt emasculated

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 No.343

For Joseph's cock was so huge that it had it's own cock and even his cock's cock was bigger then all of the chad's cocks.

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 No.345

>>343

It was longer than his 3-yo daughter's leg.

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 No.405

But it was not longer then her cock.

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 No.434

>>405

Her cock was like 5 horse dicks connected at each end with a clay pot on the end

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 No.436

fuck off and die

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 No.443

Shouted the emasculated Chads, as they stormed out of the doughnut shop.

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 No.455

>>443

And then he went up to order, and the cashier saw his huge chode and said

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 No.505

>>455

are you free tonight, daddy?

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 No.506

>>455

"Hello, little boy… would you like some lollies to go with that?"

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 No.518

>>505

Story so far:

Once upon a time, a man named Joseph bought a dozen doughnuts. He liked doughnuts, but this was no ordinary doughnut shop. For inside the shop, he had a huge cock.

So huge was his cock that the chads felt emasculated. For Joseph's cock was so huge that it had it's own cock and even his cock's cock was bigger than all of the chad's cocks. It was longer than his 3-yo daughter's leg.

But it was not longer than her cock. Her cock was like 5 horse dicks connected at each end with a clay pot on the end.

"Fuck off and die" shouted the emasculated chads, as they stormed out of the doughnut shop. And then he went up to order, and the cashier saw his huge chode and said "are you free tonight daddy?"

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 No.704

>>518

>and said "are you free tonight daddy?"

yeah, but first I want to return these doughnuts that I just bought a few minutes ago.

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 No.705

fuck niggers

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 No.706

i said fuck niggers

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 No.707

motherfuck motrherfucking niggers

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 No.711

The cashier reached over to lower the volume, but Joseph grabbed her hand and asked if that was the new moonman track she was listening to?

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 No.722

>>711

Before she could answer, someone tapped Jospeh on the shoulder from behind.

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 No.937

>>722

"oi cunt, wtf do you think youre doing!" this burlly man said.

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 No.966

>>937

but he was talking to the man in his ass.

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 No.975

for he was a dwarf with unusually long arms

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 No.985

and his legs were as long as his arms

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 No.1043

>>985

but he stood on his kneecaps.

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 No.1059

>>1043

The dwarf had a serious gambling problem, and the burly man was here to collect his debt.

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 No.1332

>>1059

But after determining that the oxidation of silver causes darkening of the metal, he turned and walked away.

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 No.1336

>>1332

Because he needed bullets for vampires and werewolves that wasn’t all niggery

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 No.1351

Suddenly, the box of doughnuts that Joseph was trying to return began to vibrate and emit a strange high pitched sound

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 No.2872

The cashier had a worried expression on her face and then she farted.

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 No.2873

>>2872

Oh god it happened again.

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 No.3812

it was the sixth time this week

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 No.3836

Joseph cried out in pain as he got raped by a gay nigger as a hideous jew video taped the entire scenario. The jew giggled in the background as Tyrone ripped Joseph's anus and gave him HIV.

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 No.3839

he wanted donuts. not nigger's nut was inside his ass.

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 No.3883

semen farded and then also sharted thunderously

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 No.3889

Is it possible to absorb the nutrients of a strawberry if it's inside your anus. - Thought Josph while gagging on his own penis.

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 No.3914

>>3889

A nervous seal stared anxiously at the scene before her from a tub of ice cream, suddenly the thought of being covered in chocolate and marshmallows became less appealing.

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 No.4809

>>3914

yet the smell of strawberries that was still lingering in the air intrigued the seal despite it's better judgement

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 No.4828

and the seal decided to quit this crap and swim to pakistan

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 No.4834

>>518

[The story so far] I've taken the liberty to make it more… comprehensible. I also added an extra sentence to the end.

Once upon a time, a man named Joseph bought a dozen doughnuts. He liked doughnuts, but this was no ordinary doughnut shop. For inside the shop, he had a huge cock.

So huge was his cock that the chads felt emasculated. For Joseph's cock was so huge that it had it's own cock and even his cock's cock was bigger than all of the chad's cocks. It was longer than his 3-year old daughter's leg.

But it was not longer than her cock. Her cock was like 5 horse dicks connected at each end with a clay pot on the end.

"Fuck off and die" shouted the emasculated chads, as they stormed out of the doughnut shop. And then he went up to order, and the cashier saw his huge chode and said "Are you free tonight daddy?"

"Hello, little boy… would you like some lollies to go with that?"

"Yeah, but first I want to return these doughnuts that I just bought a few minutes ago."

"Fuck niggers. I said. FUCK NIGGERS! MOTHERFUCK MOTHERFUCKING NIGGERS!!".

The cashier reached over to lower the volume, but Joseph grabbed her hand and asked if that was the new moonman track she was listening to?

Before she could answer, someone tapped Joseph on the shoulder from behind.

"Oi cunt, what the fuck do you think you're doing!" this burly man said, but he was talking to the man in his ass, for he was a dwarf with unusually long arms and his legs were as long as his arms but he stood on his kneecaps.

The dwarf had a serious gambling problem, and the burly man was here to collect his debt, but after determining that the oxidation of silver causes darkening of the metal, he turned and walked away, because he needed bullets for vampires and werewolves that wasn’t all niggery.

Suddenly, the box of doughnuts that Joseph was trying to return began to vibrate and emit a strange high pitched sound. The cashier had a worried expression on her face and then she farted.

"Oh god it happened again. It was the sixth time this week."

Joseph cried out in pain as he got raped by a gay nigger as a hideous jew video taped the entire scenario. The jew giggled in the background as Tyrone ripped Joseph's anus and gave him HIV. He wanted donuts, now nigger's nut was inside his ass. Semen farted and then also sharted thunderously.

"Is it possible to absorb the nutrients of a strawberry if it's inside your anus?" - Thought Joseph while gagging on his own penis.

A nervous seal stared anxiously at the scene before her from a tub of ice cream, suddenly the thought of being covered in chocolate and marshmallows became less appealing. Yet the smell of strawberries that was still lingering in the air intrigued the seal despite her better judgement and the seal decided to quit this crap and swim to Pakistan.

But the seal suddenly realized that Adolf Hitler's stand had an additional three dominos - small oblong pieces marked with 0–6 dots in each half - due to Hitler's vegan charismatic left ball, so the seal still had time to save him from his certain doom.

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 No.4835

The seal still wasn't sure that Hitler was on the white side, the side of righteousness, so she asked Joseph.

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 No.4837

"How long is Hitler's evil one eyed snake really, and is Hitler a controlled opposition rabbi, glowing green?"

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 No.4841

Before Joseph could answer if Hitler is legit or not, a weaboo calmly stated "ぽけっとーに ふとんーが はいtーてる".

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 No.4842

The weaboo is clearly a mossad agent, see how he already subverted the discussion?

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 No.4843

>>4838

kek. I filtered you so I didn't see if your posts. That's what you get for being a namefag.

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 No.4851

File: 295415102264734⋯.png (448.47 KB,900x471,300:157,ClipboardImage.png)

File: 185071baf35ea34⋯.png (480.89 KB,433x640,433:640,ClipboardImage.png)

>>4842

In a mansion in Central America, the weeaboo took a long drag from his cigar and stubbed it into an ashtray carved from mahogany before delicately breaking a piece of to'ak chocolate and placing it in his mouth before sipping a glass of 30 year old triple distilled Irish whiskey.

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 No.4852

>>4851

*Ring ring*

The weeaboo rose from his desk, taking sure not to spill his glass or knock over his solid gold Gundam, retrieved his cane carved the tusk of a narwhal and shuffled to the hallway where he picked up the phone on a Regency console table in the hallway.

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 No.4853

>>4852

He recognised the number as that of his handler. He sighed internally, there will be no time to relax today.

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 No.4854

>>4853

"Agent Absalom receiving. What assignment to you have for me?"

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 No.4857

"Listen cum guzzling fucktrumpet, because I'll only say this once. Cum in a jar, then fill it with hopes and dreams then put the jar inside your ass."

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 No.4860

>>4857

after fumbling around codebook, agent weaboo locked drone's missile to his targets Joseph and Dr. Hitler.

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 No.4866

But he hesitated.

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 No.4982

>>4873

The nerve gas rocket still exbloded killing them. Joseph, dick in hand and nerves of steel–immune to the gas

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 No.4994

>>4982

Joseph grinned like an 14 year old edgelord trying to be cool. "Nice try", he said with a deep voice, "But nothing can kill me"

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 No.4997

>>4994

he ripped his pants of and came one last time, hoping his seed would obscure the jew's view

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 No.5011

but his dick didn't work after years of fapping to hentai thots so he missed the merchant man's eyes and fell victim to his mischievous marketing tricks that cost him 6 million sheckels in the end

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 No.5038

The discarded box of doughnuts, now silent, lay on the ground of the doughnut shop and several small humanoid creatures emerged from it.

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 No.5054

"It appears the coast is clear my brethren. See, I told you it was good idea to get diversity hire for this job."

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 No.5075

File: 6bfd6406ba17ab9⋯.png (389.19 KB,577x309,577:309,legless_amphibian.PNG)

File: c1fb45e21fe0872⋯.gif (4.18 MB,444x250,222:125,58d.gif)

>>5054

The humanoids had the same appearance as as hag-fish and caecelians with the exception of four serpentine tendrils on which they shuffled on incredibly slowly and inexorably to the sacred smell of wet dogs fifty meters down the street, leaving a thick trail of mucus as they went.

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 No.5086

>>5075

A group of wet dogs, some fifty meters down the street, huddled together for warmth as they watched the lovecraftian minstril show slithering towards them when suddenly one of the dogs cell phone rang and began to play the distinct ringtone of "Fly! Gundam"

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 No.5248

>>5086

The caller, a pregnant Labrador bitch in a Korean take away finished the last of her kimchi pancakes and topokki while simultaneously digesting the knowledge of the arrival of the strange small creatures.

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 No.5249

>>5248

The dog who received the call, an elderly Chihuahua called Rothko stared anxiously at the creatures now meters away; Rothko was Ukrainian and was not proficient at any other languages so it was deeply troubling when the creatures started speaking in English.

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 No.5282

>>5249

"greetings gentlemen. I'm glad agent Absalom's diversion was enough to buy us enough time from Dr.Hitler and Joseph. Those pesky apostle of anathema will not foil teachings of Kabbalah this time"

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 No.5327

>>5282

As Rothko began to tentatively growl at the creatures, the scent of vodka hung thick in the air.

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 No.5458

File: 1fc38c7d647cd93⋯.png (1.15 MB,1151x1328,1151:1328,ClipboardImage.png)

>>5327

Joseph turned his head and stared in horror as the creatures , having now surrounded the dogs, were beginning to hum to themselves. He swore, "Daemons from Qlippoth! I have to stop them from summoning the duke Caacrinolaas."

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 No.5459

File: 0a82a7d91eb0971⋯.png (75.01 KB,273x262,273:262,Saint_Hansen.png)

>>5458

As the humming intensified, Chris Hansen, armed with a bible and a bottle of holy water, appeared out of a nearby alleyway and began shouting at the Qliphoth in Latin.

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 No.5460

Chris saw a wild loli advancing to his position with an unimaginable speed, so he did what a reasonable man would do in his position who regularly engages in heated discussions with pedophiles.

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 No.5465

YouTube embed. Click thumbnail to play.

Chris took a false beard from his pocket and glued it to the loli's face with superglue before a thick application of boot polish, transforming the loli's appearance into one of an elderly negro but this cosmetics work had cost him valuable time…

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 No.5466

>>5465

St. Hansen had spilled his holy water, like so much seed before it, onto the ground.

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 No.5468

>>5466

"Лайно…" Rothko muttered as the daemons engulfed him and his mates with their slimy bodies; he felt sucker like mouths tug his hair from his tiny body and before long he was completely bald and covered in mucus. Rothko stared piercingly at Chris with a combination of contempt and disappointment.

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 No.5541

File: 3bede51667f9d71⋯.png (308.86 KB,390x390,1:1,ClipboardImage.png)

>>5515

Obama sighed, "I sent him to find the keys of Zadkiel and the eyes of Enoch. Together they would be instrumental in preventing the daemonic incursions"

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 No.5544

File: c832f15710e40cb⋯.png (409.1 KB,340x501,340:501,ClipboardImage.png)

File: 4882d21346a7c4a⋯.png (848.57 KB,564x564,1:1,ClipboardImage.png)

>>5541

Archangel Raziel, the first to teach humans literature, glared at Obama from behind Donald, "My sister Haniel [who had disguised herself as a Labrador] has received word of a daemonic summoning right here in this very city; tell me mortal, did you say Joseph was your best man?

Because I would hate to see your worst."

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 No.5548

>>5544

Obama's gargantuan monkey lips quivered feebly

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 No.5551

as he muttered some of the most conspicuous words known to men. "I'm vegan. The science supports it. So I'm clearly the best black boi around here and Joseph was clearly the whitest."

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 No.5584

>>5551

"Hello Vegan, my name is Armano, nice to meet you", said the orangutan with the old version of the Miriam19 synthesized brain to voice chip.

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 No.5590

"I still don't understand why Dr.Hitler insist on employing animal agents. They eased our budget for sure but hiring primate as signalman?"

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 No.5598

Dr Hitler really wanted to be an indie gas chamber developer - like his late father, Stalin - but a gender bent equivalent of an alphabet agent discouraged him, pointing out the fact that it would be inefficient - certainly not a real american marvel of machinery - and slightly anti-semitic, plus nobody would buy a gas chamber that isn't homo erotic to furries.

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 No.5664

File: 373eb1b9abc6e66⋯.png (1.39 MB,886x625,886:625,ClipboardImage.png)

Raziel gave an amused smile at the Orangutan before placing his hand on Armano's head, "Greetings primate, I am the archivist of Heaven and Yahweh's personal poet, tell me have you heard of the Library of Askia the Great?"

Armano shook his head and Raziel dumped the sum of the sum of the scientific and mathematical knowledge of the Ghana kingdom in the monkey's brain.

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 No.5665

"Wha.. What.. What did you do?" stammered Obama as he watched the now dribbling and twitching orangutan with morbid fascination

Raziel shrugged, "I educated him…"

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 No.5669

WITH MY BIG BLACK ANGEL COCK!

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 No.5673

The room is filling with water.

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 No.5687

>>5673

Trump puts on a frog suit and adjusts the snorkle, careful not to mess his hair.

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 No.5688

He accidentally trips and deepthroats a jewish businessman's cock.

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 No.5689

>>5688 (dubs of truth)

Obama wades into the swampy waters filling the room and proceeds to initiate a judeo-mulato spitroast because trump's frog suit had a trap door in the behind like those onesy pajamas do.

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 No.5825

"What?"- asked the reader, not knowing what the fuck is going on at this point.

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 No.5828

>>5825

With the fourth wall now broken, Joseph turns to address the reader and exclaims, "The aristocrats!"

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 No.5862

>>5828

Armano, now with the imparted knowledge and wisdom of The Kang of Kangs clicked his fingers and toes in the a secret frequency; elsewhere, in Ghana, the sands shifted, startled monkeys squealed and elephants stampeded as vast monolithic structures forced their way upwards.

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 No.5866

>>5862

A humble Ghanaian fishmonger, shocked at the chaotic scene unfolding before him, dropped a bundle of tilapia and muttered to himself, "Oh no, not another U2 benefit concert…"

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 No.6356

>>6355

the fishmonger replied, "so i can do this:"

he then gave the frog the double gawk gawk two thousand, and the frogs thick, hard cock ran down with bubbles of saliva.

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 No.6382

>>6356

Then the fishmonger and the frog shared a cigarette and once their heads cleared, their heads (along with all nearby suffocating tilapia) exploded from getting vibed by Armano's secret frequency; a merciful death to be sure, for soon the U2 concert goers stampeded in the direction of their gory corpses.

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 No.6404

>>6382

Watching the rabble rabble from his vantage upon the stage, Bono chortled a sensible chuckle and then his head exploded too.

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