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/sw/ - Star Wars

The Empire did nothing wrong.

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File: bafeb24525a48e2⋯.png (1.47 MB,660x1000,33:50,vader where is my wife.png)

File: 07ac08a1a7d86a2⋯.jpg (84.91 KB,500x631,500:631,Blossom_Wine.jpg)

File: 8d44b27434edd0d⋯.jpg (63.54 KB,636x495,212:165,OAdRPTP.jpg)

 No.22096 [Last50 Posts]

So… did Vader remained chaste the rest of his life after Padme's death? Did he had any sex drive remaining? Did he had any moment of joy or satisfaction after being entombed in his armor? Or the dark side really supplied him in that aspect, as it looks like it was the case with Palpatine.

He had at least one fit of dementia, deliring about his wife and was sensible to things that reminded him of her.

Besides letting of the steam over his training droids, what else he did for "fun"?

Let's discuss Vader. What are the best works that depict his view of things? I remember that the last part of RoTS novel, his feelings after being put on his armor and that novel Dark Lord, where he basically suffers from depression throught the whole book. Shadows of Empire also show us some glimpses. But besides that, what do we have?

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 No.22097

>>22096

>So… did Vader remained chaste the rest of his life after Padme's death? Did he had any sex drive remaining? Did he had any moment of joy or satisfaction after being entombed in his armor?

In the EU he was stuck in the armor forever so my guess is he was both too uncomfortable for sex and the suit was not designed for it. I shudder to think of what they will have Vader do in Disney canon in terms of sex.

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 No.22099

>>22096

Vader as far as I could tell never found "fun" outside of combat and even that was rare since he was so OP that no one could provide an actual challenge. With his burns I doubt his genitals would be in any functioning form.

>>22097

>I shudder to think of what they will have Vader do in Disney canon in terms of sex.

I bet they make Sheev have a offhand comment to someone that his junk is in working order but all he wants to do is kill and has no interest with pleasure. But I wouldn't be surprised if they made him into some kind of implied force rapist.

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 No.22101

>>22099

>so OP that no one could provide an actual challenge

He had a hard time on Kessel (right, he was younger, but still), had to put some work to deal with the Dark Woman and i'm sure others. Guess, that was the only time that Vader had to put some effort at something.

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 No.22105

i don't think he ever had a sex drive to begin with, since he never even fucked padme.

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 No.22109

File: 6c5de96be7c3f98⋯.jpg (24.26 KB,300x300,1:1,questioncat.jpg)

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 No.22110

>>22109

Probably underage that still hasn't gotten to the point of sex education in school.

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 No.22111

File: c130d634a8540dd⋯.png (806.1 KB,906x776,453:388,what_are_you_doing.png)

>>22105

Uhhhhhhh…

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 No.22113

>>22109

>>22110

>>22111

>slave living in desert

>gets transferred to jedi order where relationships are forbidden

i wouldn't be surprised if jedi were eunuchs tbh, they might not have been able to control his emotions, but they could definitely control his urges. and are you guys new or what? anakin didn't knock up padme, that was sheev using the plagueis technique so that he could drive anakin into becoming his apprentice.

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 No.22116

File: f5f3f9a0ea6f901⋯.png (927.99 KB,827x584,827:584,ClipboardImage.png)

>>22113

>anakin didn't knock up padme

"Luke, we're not related and I never adopted you, so we have no connection really."

As I recall, Palpatine helped ensure that Anakin DID knock up Padme.

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 No.22117

File: 997519cf8fa6ee8⋯.jpg (480.14 KB,1200x1500,4:5,IIWdD015.jpg)

>>22113

So… what they did after the ceremony? Come back to those Naboo fields to roll around the grass a little more?

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 No.22118

>>22117

>conception takes three years to mature

>>22116

obviously anakin would be unaware of palpatine's scheming, he would believe that it was the force or some whack shit

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 No.22122

File: 354291ee7d1b763⋯.png (70.53 KB,350x350,1:1,354291ee7d1b763c0eb93c232b….png)

>>22118

>>22113

Dude wut? Are you just pulling shit out of your ass now?

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 No.22123

File: 0a3e75aeb68f732⋯.png (123.09 KB,522x326,261:163,what_are_you_doing.png)

>>22113

There was no "Plagueis technique," at least not a successful one. When him and Sheev tried it the Force pushed back and created Anakin on its own. Which brings up another point, it took two fully-fledged Sith Lords to even attempt that, one of whom spent his whole life studying the Force's connection to life specifically. So what are you saying, that this feat which Sheev failed to perform in concert with Plagueis he was able to achieve…alone?

>>22118

<conception takes three years to mature

>They fucked exactly one time and never again

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 No.22124

>>22123

how do we know that sheev and plagueis weren't successful in their technique, but that the force had simply intervened with anakin's creation? and i'm saying that sheev could clearly do it on his own, or he wouldn't have killed plagueis.

also, you find me a point during 3d or 2d clone wars that they could have possibly fucked about 10 months prior to the invasion of coruscant and i'll concede to just coincidences.

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 No.22126

File: 4a250230fe347a3⋯.jpg (68.48 KB,529x600,529:600,7Yfrw.jpg)

>>22124

>Randy Stradley stated that Luke and Leia were conceived in Varykino in 20 BBY, five months before the Battle of Coruscant, in the Dark Horse Comics message boards.[12] The creators of Star Wars: Clone Wars, also joked about Luke and Leia being conceived in Chapter 22 of their series, in a scene that takes place on Naboo and what appears to be Varykino. However, Stradley's statement was made when Revenge of the Sith was assumed to take place over a period of weeks rather than days. Luke and Leia may still have been conceived in Varykino, but this must have occurred nearly nine months before the Battle of Coruscant and the beginning of Revenge of the Sith.

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 No.22128

>>22126

okay that's good. sadly it's not canon and never has been, so i'm still the winner here.

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 No.22129

>>22128

>so i'm still the winner here.

But you have nothing but speculation, which would also defy several of the core pillars of the OT.

Also, Padme wasn't a jedi, so the kids had to have gotten it from somewhere.

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 No.22130

>>22129

>>22129

> had to have gotten it

'It' being strong force sensitivity

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 No.22131

>>22129

>which would also defy several of the core pillars of the OT

enlighten me, o wise one

>>22130

>'It' being strong force sensitivity

why, sheev of course. after all, his work with plagueis created anakin. using the force to create life creates a being that is literally born of the force, what don't you get? that's entirely what was implied in the prequels between shmi's few lines with qui-gon and palpatine's selling of the dark side to anakin.

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 No.22132

>>22128

>Muh canon

There is no canon anymore.

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 No.22133

>>22132

that was the joke, but even when there was canon, 2d clone wars only partially applied and was eventually overwritten by 3d clone wars.

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 No.22134

>>22124

>>22128

You explicitly called for 2d CW mang, and >>22126 mentions 2D CW. There was a fade-to-black scene in Genndywars that, even if Genndy only "jokingly" meant it to be so you asked for a point in which they could have plausibly fucked, and there that point is. Also, the Noghri upon sniffing Luke and Leia were able to confirm that they were the children of Darth Vader/Anakin which renders this entire debate moot.

>>22131

>enlighten me, o wise one

The entire goddamn point of the OT was a relation between a father and a son. It was Anakin's love for Luke that prevented him from falling fully to the dark side, that prompted him to entice Luke to join him to overthrow the Emperor, and was what got him to spare Luke at the end of RotJ and throw the Emperor into the pit. Likewise, it was Luke's love for his father that caused him to go against the advice of both Obi-Wan and Yoda, and try to redeem his father rather than killing him, and it was this mercy that kept Luke from striking down his father in anger and becoming Sidious's apprentice. There is no arc to either of these characters without that familial bond.

>why, sheev of course

If this was all according to shee'vs keikaku why doesn't he know about Leia?

>that's entirely what was implied in the prequels between shmi's few lines with qui-gon

All that's implied there is that a being may be born from the force itself. It implies nothing about the consequences of mortal beings attempting to create life on their own. Further, the suggestion that Anakin was created by Sheev and not born of the force runs in contrast to all the symbolism which points to Anakin being a messianic figure.

>palpatine's selling of the dark side to anakin

All that implies is that no one is immune to temptation from the dark side, not even the greatest of Jedi.

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 No.22135

>>22134

Goddammit Jim stop making my flag disappear after sageposts.

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 No.22136

>>22131

>enlighten me, o wise one

The entire family dynamic in eps 5 and 6. What you propose is that "nah, they were totally not related and just didn't know it," when they clearly had a strong bond, as exemplified through their interactions and telepathic convos. Also, we know Luke at lest is capable of detecting his relatives via the force, so the "they didn't know" excuse doesn't fly.

>why sheev of course

Okay, fair, but do you have anything to indicate that with Luke and Leia?

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 No.22137

>>22133

And 3D was inferior and should have been discarded. If the canon they present is shit, as what Disney has done, or what the 3D show did, it should be ignored. 3D ruined Clones, it ruined Boba Fett and mandalorian culture, it made the battle droids into bigger jokes than ever before and introduced Ahsoka who is by far the shittiest character in Star Wars, someone straight out of fanfiction. The idea that Anakin had a padawan and it was just never mentioned in any of the movies, it's absurd and terrible writing. If Anakin actually did have a padawan he wouldn't have been so willing to kill all the Jedi, he hated the Jedi because he felt disconnected from them and ostracized, having a padawan invalidates that motivation.

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 No.22138

>>22134

Imagine being so autistic that you watch Star Wars and think Luke isn't actually Anakin's child. I've actually seen redditors say they believe that Luke should actually have been Obi Wan's son and that Obi Wan actually cucked Anakin. It's like they don't even realize that would make the entire story the ugliest and most degenerate thing imaginable, and that Obi Wan would be evil in that case and Anakin would be totally justified in killing him.

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 No.22140

>>22138

>Obi Wan actually cucked Anakin. It's like they don't even realize that would make the entire story the ugliest and most degenerate thing imaginable, and that Obi Wan would be evil in that case and Anakin would be totally justified in killing him.

That was actually the plot to a series of parody films which portrayed the Jedi as amoral delinquents and party animals; if someone's shitty headcanon is interchangeable with an irreverent joke it's safe to say that person may be ignored.

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 No.22142

>>22138

It's no surprise reddit favors 'polyamory.'

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 No.22143

>>22138

fortunately this isn't reddit, that foolish school of thought doesn't dwell here

>inb4 me

>>22137

>muh headcanon

lad, i headcanon as much as anyone else around here but i still stick to reality. futhermore, ahsoka's absence in the waning years of the war would also help drive anakin in his disconnection and growing closer with palps.

>>22134

>>22136

never did i once say that anakin and luke didn't have a familial bond, it's still very much intact. all i'm saying is that the means of conception are not what we think they are.

>leia

the force works in mysterious ways, anon. sheev also expected padme to die and presumably the child with her, as he had assumed anakin was the end-all, be-all.

>shmi

you fucking mongoloid, how can you not understand what i'm getting at here? anakin is still technically born of the force, it's just a manipulated force.

sheev literally says "could use the force to create life" and looks directly at anakin, knowing the success of his result

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 No.22144

>>22143

>all i'm saying is that the means of conception are not what we think they are.

Shut up faggot.

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 No.22145

>>22144

kek lad, you know you've been beat, admit it. besides that, earlier drafts did backup what i've been saying, and elements of it survived into the final screenplay. get rekt nerd.

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 No.22146

File: 5222750b2b3a277⋯.jpg (6.19 KB,250x188,125:94,cheekysheev.jpg)

>>22144

also, forgot to add pic related

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 No.22147

>>22145

There's no 'beat', it's just your retarded headcannon. You are literally just a dumb faggot wasting time. It's like me saying Boba Fett was actually Jango's biological son with a woman. It contradicts what is onscreen and there is an absence of any evidence for your stupid faggotry.

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 No.22148

>>22143

>headcanon

>defending ahsoka

Fuck off, retard. She's more of a Mary Sue than Rey and equally as interesting. She only has any level of popularity among older fans because of waifufags, and waifufags have never had taste.

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 No.22149

>>22148

i don't disagree with what you said, but i'm still right.

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 No.22150

>>22147

>apples and oranges

c'mon now fam, i know you're better than that.

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 No.22151

>>22143

>never did i once say that anakin and luke didn't have a familial bond

Then what the fuck are you saying? Is Luke Anakin's son or is he not? If he is, what's the damn point of Padme getting conceived via mystical Rube Goldberg machine instead of the old-fashioned way?

>the force works in mysterious ways

If you're going to push cancerous headcanon on us, at least make an effort to defend yourself, don't go "LOL I DUNNO IS DA FORE MANG"

>anakin is still technically born of the force, it's just a manipulated force.

The Plagueis chapter is titled "The Force fights back", and Plagueis himself names the attempt a failure. Plagueis and Sheev tried to create life, they did not succeed, and in response to them flying too close to the Sun the Force conceives Anakin in retaliation. Your headcanon is in direct contradiction to what has been established in the books.

>sheev literally says "could use the force to create life" and looks directly at anakin

Because Sheev is trying to tempt Anakin with power, and is implying implications at him, it's not a difficult thing to comprehend.

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 No.22152

>>22151

few things

1. just because luke may not be anakin's direct offspring doesn't mean they can't have a bond as father and son. luke still carries the name, vader accepts that something happened.

2. it may be headcanon but it's still more sound than your pathetic arguments against it. besides that, george and other writers constantly made up new shit with the force to work around problems. this is one of the issues with star wars writing in general, it's like old superman comics where new writers would just give him a new power because why the fuck not?

3. the plagueis book isn't canon anymore. beyond plagueis' appearance i don't know that much of it was to begin with. did george collaborate on it?

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 No.22153

>>22152

>1. just because luke may not be anakin's direct offspring doesn't mean they can't have a bond as father and son. luke still carries the name, vader accepts that something happened.

You have conveniently ignored the physical evidence given by the Noghri–they confirmed that both Luke and Leia were the biological offspring of Vader. More to the point, you don't explain why this happens. There's no rhyme nor reason to Luke and Leia being secret spawn of Sidious, no reason it needs to happen, and the only evidence you really have to support this is that you don't think Anakin had time to fuck Padme.

>it's still more sound than your pathetic arguments against it.

Arguments you've yet to dispute besides making baseless assertions.

>i don't know that much of it was to begin with

All of it was canon pre-Disney and George endorsed it as well.

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 No.22154

If Luke was the result of some force manipulation by Palpatine why he wouldn't even be able to sense him on Endor?

He was the motherfucking emperor, the uber Sith.

Seriously… there are people who would even entertain the idea that Anakin and Amidala never had sex and the twins are some force experiment?

What? Luke and Leia are now Trioculus siblings?

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 No.22155

>>22152

>just because luke may not be anakin's direct offspring doesn't mean they can't have a bond as father and son

cuck

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 No.22157

>>22150

No, it's a straight comparison. We see Anakin learn Padme is pregnant, and he doesn't say 1) I used magicks even though it was massively inopportune for both of us or 2) become enraged and demand to know who the father is. He looks surprised and then happy, but it is clear the pregnancy was an accident and the only way accidents like that happen where someone doesn't get force choked is you were fucking each other. If ever magical conception would be mentioned, it would be in that scene.

This is all just really stupid. You are a faggot.

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 No.22158

>>22128

And when exactly has your "Palpy created Luke and Leia" theory ever been canon? At least >>22126 has footage and references. Both Genndy Wars and Filoni Wars showed Ani was no permavirgin.

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 No.22159

File: b5f67c88aee9ed1⋯.jpg (103 KB,469x746,469:746,autism.jpg)

>>22152

I have no words for this. Even Luceno put it as Plagueis and Sheev failing and the end result of Anakin being a direct response to their fuckery. Luke and Leia are his fucking kids man.

>it may be headcanon but it's still more sound than your pathetic arguments against it.

That's exactly it. Its your headcanon. How is your crazy fan theory of Palpatine being everyone's dad more sound than Anakin sleeping with his fucking wife?

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 No.22161

>>22159

>Inb4 your dad is actually Palpatine

>My dad is also Palpatine

>Palpatine is the Zeus of Star Wars genealogy

>If you don't have hard evidence of your parents fucking 9 months before you were born, your dad is Palpatine

>Claiming otherwise is just headcanon

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 No.22162

File: 283a4b07cc959ca⋯.png (226.55 KB,898x608,449:304,ClipboardImage.png)

>>22161

forgot pic

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 No.22163

File: 4f3e9191ee8049e⋯.png (217.42 KB,424x444,106:111,Star_Wars-Sheev_curve.png)

>>22162

SHEEV SMASH dat pussy

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 No.22165

File: 90cf840ec3b68ac⋯.png (155.46 KB,300x505,60:101,ClipboardImage.png)

>>22163

Who is this lady, and how many times has Sheev force-fully penetrated her?

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 No.22168

File: 1f55b101b0d93fe⋯.png (704.93 KB,600x708,50:59,Pedotine.png)

>>22165

Every second of every day along with all the female humans of the galaxy.

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 No.22169

File: 11859eeb43a0ba9⋯.jpg (232.5 KB,931x521,931:521,img2665794_58e383970cb8334….jpg)

>>22168

Palpatine is such a madman, that he conceived himself several times.

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 No.22173

File: ea94038ac41d39f⋯.jpg (75.56 KB,674x762,337:381,ea94038ac41d39ff273eefde2c….jpg)

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 No.22196

>>22165

She was the Music Advisor and no, Palpatine didn't had sex with her. If anything he probably stop having sexual relations after being inducted in the Sith Order, so basically in his late teens. The got his jollies by getting high on the Dark Side.

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 No.22197

>>22196

Palpatine was fucking that pale bald woman. He had a son with her.

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 No.22198

>>22105

This.

Disney is already working on a script for this where the real father is Mace Dindu.

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 No.22199

>>22197

No, the retcons to fix that mess of Triclops being his son was that Sly Moore did an experiment on her own, either using force sensitive dna material (which could be Palpatine's own) or some force fuckery like Plagueis to get pregnant. Anyway it was all about artificial fertilization stuff.

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 No.22202

>>22199

it's still heavily implied sheev was fucking moore though

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 No.22204

>>22199

Is this some yidsney faggotry?

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 No.22209

>>22202

No, if anything that one would be Roganda Ismaren or Ysanne Isard. It was said that the Emperor did had an harem, but that simply goes against all the rest of characterization or Bane's order. Zannah got laid as a political tool, Bane, Plagueis, Sidious are consistently depicted as so immersed in the Dark Side that they move beyond sexual needs, plus debasing themselves consorting with non force sensitives.

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 No.22210

>>22204

Of course not, this is from before the acquisition of the franchise by Disney.

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 No.22211

File: 7dfbd4608313c8c⋯.png (960.31 KB,777x1028,777:1028,ClipboardImage.png)

>>22209

>Ysanne Isard

It'd probably get me killed in the long run, but I'd give her a whirl in bed. Looking up the PalpatinexIsard porn, however, has convinced me they never did it; it would be too ridiculous.

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 No.22217

>>22211

You have more balls than me.

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 No.22225

File: 334ca56c87c7f79⋯.jpg (28.19 KB,343x357,49:51,was getting caught part of….jpg)

>>22211

If true, Sheev had good taste.

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 No.22234

>>22211

>>it would be too ridiculous

The Darkside is the pathway to many abilities, some consider to be unnatural.

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 No.22236

File: 1a7e25c1c490698⋯.jpg (332.7 KB,1000x530,100:53,020.jpg)

>>22209

>>22202

Triclops, the Ismarens and Isard are all from 90s EU stories. Back then Palpatine was still using rapidly aging clone bodies according to Dark Empire.

Pretty sure it's all been retconned after the prequels.

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 No.22239

>>22236

That was never clear to me, if i remember correctly there are works that state that Palpatine moved to clones only after his first death, not before.

Found this on the wiki, of course it's the EU version of the article

>First death

>In the Dark Empire series, Palpatine tells Luke that the Battle of Endor was not his first death, and that he had started transferring his spirit into clone bodies years prior to that, when his original body had degenerated as a result of heavy use of the dark side.[234] However, Lucasfilm official Leland Chee has stated that Palpatine was lying to Luke about having died previously, and that Palpatine's demise on the second Death Star was definitely the first time he died.[235]

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 No.22243

>>22239

that's because leland chee was the "keeper of the holocron" and the official canon guru. he could dictate what was and what was not real.

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 No.22246

>>22236

Some things were slightly rewritten to fit with the prequels, but it remained canon according to the database and Chee. The only major inconsistencies were those in the Thrawn Trilogy concerning jedis and the clone wars. Not sure how they got around that.

Although personally I would've gone with Jorus C'baoth being an alias of Dooku's considering how similar they were.

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 No.22249

>>22246

>jedis and the clone wars. Not sure how they got around that.

The clone wars thing they didn't really get around, it's just a case of G-canon superseding all canon. Jorus C'baoth was was set up in the Outbound Flight novel in a way that made sense to me.

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 No.22262

>>22096

Wait, you can't get pussy as a force ghost?

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 No.22270

>>22262

You can if you use Palpy or the Sith Emperor possession techniques.

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 No.22276

>>22270

>>22262

This, also you could become the pussy if you possess a woman.

Not much found of the whole "Sith Emperor" arc/lore but that quote of his is really interesting

>You discern a fraction of reality. Beyond these stars exist other galaxies, other worlds, other beings. I will experience or ignore them as I wish. I will spend eternity becoming everything: a farmer, an artist, a simple man. When the last living thing in the universe finally dies, I will enjoy peace and wait for the cycle to begin again

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