/random/ - random

Ok but was that before or after you took a 3 foot long Fischer-Price wiffle ball bat shoved it up in your butt, pulled your pants down and cranked the dougie with 8 geriatric dungbeetles in the middle of an old folks home while your dad was simultaneously recording a video of himself Gangnamstyling to the 2016 XXL Freshmen Cypher on Facebook Live while your grandfather in the kitchen sink with peanut butter smeared on his forehead having a deep conversation with his toenail and your sister was upstairs in her bedroom finger blasting herself to an episode of Henry Danger while at the same time your mom was at the farmer's market shoplifting authentic pickles. Oh shit it's the Pickler! And your uncle was slumped in a GTR racer gaming chair at 2am with a jock strap on his face perusing for poisonous tree frogs on the dark web while your aunt was at your cousin's bar mitzvah while whipping and nay naying with an orthodox merchant, Lil John and a cockroach with a Yamaka on while your dog named Roofus was behind a Dunkin' Donuts pimping out a salamander to a opossum while a family of rats in your kitchen poured cranberry juice into an empty Doritos bag to make a community pool for the underprivileged termites living under your sink lead by a 3 legged radioactive conservative skunk named Dale who proceeded to cannonball in the Doritos bag which then alerted your dimentiated grandfather that was in the sink which at that point he called himself "The Titanium Titty" and started yeating raisins at the skunk then pulled a Black Ops 3 C4 out of his crotch and blew open a nether portal with direct access to a Wakandan porta potty. Your name is Jidion boy! Your ass built like a diabolical tap dancing pickle boy. Look at your ass in your gamer chair right now boy. I know you ass gotta sweat pool in your booty hole right now. Your ass got doodoo crumbs fucking tap dancing in your fucking chair right now.