/random/ - random

Alright /b/ work story

>Be me, Baker the Painter from Australia

>painting at an old couples house

>guy, lets call him Ted and wife of Ted

>lets call her wife of Ted

>my job is to paint 16 doors and frames, EASY

>wife of Ted has a walking frame

>she's fucked up every door by using walker to open them

>no promblem, cruisy Tuesday job for me

>boss has warned me Ted is a rreeeaaall talker

>I'm sanding and painting a door in hallway

>I decide to make idle chat, don't want to seem rude

>"so what did you do for work before retirement,Ted?"

>he gets up from his chair and slowly comes towards me

>stands 2 metres away from me and opens his mouth

>"well i used to be a train-"

>HOLLY FUCK WHAT IS THAT SMELL, i ask myself

> His breathe is so bad it nearly brings a tear to my eyes

>how is this man alive with a smell that bad coming from him

>gotta think, how do i make him stop talking

>I can't!! he keeps telling me his life story

>the boss had warned me about him

>I reach into my pocket and find sand paper

>FUCK! wait

>other pocket, mask because Covid laws

>i put on my mask and start to sand the door

>Ted is still talking about trains

>oh shit i'm sanding a freshly painted door

>no worries, small sacrifise

>after 7 minutes of sanding wet paint i leave to aquire more piant

>come back

>Ted's in the kitchen making something to eat, he's chopping up an onion

>I inform Ted him and wife of Ted can't be inside while i us this paint

>it's oil based and will most deffiently kill them both

>the Ted makes eye contact and starts his rant

>oh for fucks sake

>"ME AND THE WIFE CAN'T GO ANYWHERE BECAUSE OF LOCKDOOWN"

>we're not actually in lockdown, but i can't tell him that

>he grabs a second onion and begins to chop it

>"YOU CAN COME HERE BECAUSE YOU'RE WORKING BUT WE CAN'T GO ANYWHERE"

>he slides the onions into a bowl

>"IF WE COULD, WE'D GO SEE OUT DOWN THE PARK AND FEED THE DUCKS"

>he grabs a small tin out of the cupbaord

>"JUST PAINT THE DOORS, IM USED TO THE PAINT"

>he opns the tin, it's anchovis

>He pours the tin onto the 2 raw onions in the bowl

>"WHEN I USED TO WORK ON THE TRAINS, ... I'D PAINT THE INSIDE"

>he slowly walks to his chair and sits down

>"BUT WE CAN'T GO ANYWHERE NOW

>Ted dips his hands into the bowl of raw anchovis and onions and starts eating it

>HE'S EATING A BOWL OF FUCKING RAW ONIONS AND ANCHOVIS

>disgusted! i tell him "yeah i'll get back to you mate"

>leave

>call up my boss "i need a pay rise"

>Be me, shift supervisor at a malthouse

>Boss tells me to train a new hire

>New hire is a scrawny asian kid, definitely out of his element

>First day of his training, I decide we should do some light labor and cleaning, which is the easiest work possible.

>Gets tired after 20 minutes of sweeping the floors

>Gets tired after 5 minutes of bagging malt

>Gets tired after taking the trash out.

>Dude's fucking exhausted after basically doing housewife chores

>Lunch time for me, and break time for him rolls around, sit him down and talk to him about how this job is actually a really good gig if he sticks with it, tell him he can get buff and strong while getting paid well.

>"But anon, I'm an asian, we don't get buff"

>Try to encourage him by talking about Bruce Lee.

>"Who's that?"

>Dawns on me that we've hired a retard.

>Send him home after his 4 hour shift, he's accomplished nothing.

>Whatever though, it's his first day, maybe he's still getting used to it all.

>I proceed to bag 8 tons of malt by myself for the next 4 hours.

>Second training day, kiln cleaning day, I'm obviously in a bit of a bad mood since the guy who was basically supposed to help me left my hanging the day before.

>Kiln is still hot as balls from the last batch.

>You also have to wear a mask or else the malt dust will fuck your lungs.

>I tell him it's going to be hard to breathe, and it's hot, so he's going to need to pace himself.

>I start the auger and we sweep the leftover rootlets in, this is an easy job.

>Dude keeps getting dangerously close to the auger inlet holes, I keep telling him not to get so close.

>He does it over and over again, it's hot, and I'm starting to hate this kid

>Tell him that the auger can and will remove his foot if he slips in there.

>Guy goes pale white and takes his mask off

>"I can't deal with this right now"

>Tell him to take a break, while I do the rest of the top level of the kiln.

>15 minutes goes by, I've finished the top part without him, I've also prepped for the second part of the cleaning process.

>20 minutes go by, thinking he must be on his way by now, start working.

>Check my phone after doing a fair bit of work underneath the kiln, see that it's now been 45 minutes.

>Get out of the kiln and look for him.

>He's sitting outside on his phone, laughing at memes

>"Do you know how long you've been out here?"

>"Nah, haha"

>"It's been 45 minutes, I'll let it slip this time, but please come inside and help me finish with the kiln."

>We finish the kiln together, I had him shoveling rootlets into a bin while I brought them over to him.

>We put everything away, and he goes home after a bit more cleaning around the malthouse.

(cont)

>>58838

>Third day, the boss is in today and we have a few people on shift with us.

>Today is floor clearing day. We have to shovel more malt from the floor into the kiln.

>This is the hardest it gets in terms of what our job entails

>Luckily, today the new hire is out of my hands and is getting trained by the boss.

>I'm doing the fun job of distributing the malt into the kiln, so I'm not on the floor with the other guys.

>things are going well, we're halfway done by the time we all have our first break.

>First break is over, we all take our stations, not 5 minute passes when the boss comes over to me.

>"Anon, have you seen the new hire?"

>"No sir, I haven't, what's up?"

>"We can't find him."

>We all stop what we're doing and spend the next 20 mins searching the malt house for the new guy.

>Turns out he was hiding between two big bags of barley, on his phone again, looking at memes.

>My boss is a good man, very mild mannered and controlled, but today he went nuclear, I'd never seen him so upset.

>New hire is now crying big sloppy tears and shaking uncontrollably.

>The rest of us, a team of 3 including myself, finish the floor on our own while the boss goes through the process of firing him and giving him his first/last paycheck.

>Next day boss gives me a pat on the back and apologizes for making me babysit this kid.

>Turns out he was the son of a rich chinese couple who owned a brewery near Napa, and they wanted to put him to work.

>Ask him for a raise in exchange for working alone instead of having a new hire for a while.

>He surprisingly agrees.

>amazon IT

>warehouse has like 2000 computers for various processes

>dumb people can't take care of things

>lots of turnovers among managers

>packing department hasn't been asking for much help troubleshooting printers lately

>printers keep going missing

>the only time I get called is to bring out a new one, not to fix a broken one

>not normal

>they're direct thermal printers that are like $500 a pop but not my money so whatever

>just keep bringing them and ordering more over a few months

>keep track in system of where I deploy them to, and who requested it

>go through a couple every day like this

>manager drops a ticket asking to let their department just keep printers themselves

>I don't care but my boss isn't going to allow it

>ask a couple probing questions in correspondence (visible to everyone in IT and the department's management)

>pack manager outs himself as the mastermind behind their new printer troubleshooting procedure

>if the printer stops printing they just turn the thinclient off and on a few times

>if it doesn't work they throw it out and grab a new one from somewhere else

>none of them know how to change the printer port on a linux system

>they just reboot it and hope the printer ends up on the right port and assume the printer is broken if it doesn't work a couple times

>add finance and IT managers to the CClist for the ticket

>never hear from or see the guy again

>>58773

>be me

>work at SVR

>boss wants pictures of underage children, again

>consider calling putin until I consider it is probably putin who wants the pics.

> take a long lunch until boss is drunk and has forgotten about request.

>spend rest of day looking for houses to steal in jerusalem