/pnd/ - Politics, News, Debate

Hey, Kids!!

It's me, Killcen™

And this sure is one snazzy razzmatazz whizbang neato newfangled wood burning and leather engraving tool kit that Johnny Neptune bought for me recently!!

It sure is fancy

I've got exceptional taste when it comes to quality, and I can assure you this Chinese manufactured flimsy alloy lettering template is world class !!

It was so thoughtful of Johnny too take the time out to think about thinking of being thoughtful….

But that's the way he rolls

In fact, if my Idol SLIM WHITMAN were still alive, I'd use my nifty new gift to create an autographed leather testicle pouch for him, and even offer to adjust the leather string ties.

I LOVE MY WOODBURNING/LEATHER ENGRAVING KIT!!

>>315564

MY COMMENT:

Maybe I should use my nifty new thrifty gift to create a leather pouch for Jim Watkins, that could be attached underneath his chin, and catch any stray sperm for later ingestion..

And I could burn the word PATRIOT TRAY into the leather!

>>315571

And maybe even create something out of leather for his son!!

THE POSSIBILITIES ARE LIMITLESS WITH MY NEW WOOD BURNING / LEATHER ENGRAVING KIT!!!

>>315574

you're right !!

I really SHOULD make an engraved leather set of ear muffs for Marshmallow Sally's mother, to drown out the incessant whining and crying coming from her spare bedroom.

>>315575

good idea!!

And thanks for asking!!

YES, I certainly do think Princess Penispuffer would look good in a tan leather office party Mardi gras Harlequin mask, complete with the words "I'LL SUCK THE FIRST DICK THAT GETS WITHIN AN INCH OF MY MOUTH" permanently burned into the leather substrate!

>>315577

Ironically, I have had dreams about the very same thing you just mentioned…

I've also had dreams about Slim Whitman making sweet love to me, and right at the moment good old slim pops his nut in my ass, Norman Fell would pop open a champagne bottle, and there would be a hilarious canned laugh track playing in the background…

So obviously, my dreams aren't worth a shit

But I'm dying in the third week of this coming october, so I need to start thinking about making some handy dandy engraved leather gifts for people who really matter

Handy dandy engraved leather gifts for people like THE MAN PRINCESS PENISPUFFER RENTS HIS GAY MOUSTACHE FROM

Or maybe an engraved leather twist tie prolapsed colon pouch for princess penispuffer himself

>>315586

If you won't let me finish listing off all the people I plan on making handy dandy engraved leather nifty gifts for, I might not even make it till October

Maybe something a little bit more ladylike for marshmallow sally….

Like a "STAY DEFEATED" leather anal tampon

Or maybe a fancy engraved rawhide leather full body cast for my friend Jerry

But I really shouldn't forget all the other regulars in here

Last year I bought everybody age appropriate gifts, but they were all the same gift for everybody.. it's pretty much self-explanatory…

Plus I shop at cheap discount dollar stores, and the entire urinal cost the same as a styrofoam cup, so I couldn't pass it up

But I want to go all out this year, and really do something special and dignified, just like The Ropers, because for me, it's always FIRST CLASS ALL THE WAY !!!

So I asked myself.. "what would Mr Roper do right now?"

But since Norman Fell died so many years ago in obscurity after a lifetime of failed attempts at Fame, I would probably have to ask the remaining living cast members

…..uhhh……

Maybe it's best I don't know

Anyway.. where was i?

I know Sally's mother already paid a graffiti artist to do a mural on the front of her house.. so maybe I should think of something a little bit more… Mmm….

Unique?

Do you know how to keep a white supremacist in suspense?

"portions of this thread were brought to you by "Make America Great Again", where we ask you, "LOL as if it was ever great to begin with!"

(disclaimer: the question is actually a statement)

Additional funding has been provided bySEX STARVED STRAYS™

"Try to last 30 seconds without spraying"

HEY KIDS! I'M BACK!

Sorry about that. I kind of fell asleep on my daughter's kitchen floor for a second.. hold on.. let me take one more swig…

ahhh! smooth *cough cough*

What at first is merely a HOBBY… A form of therapy, where I get to relax and stop worrying about the end of the world…

Could possibly One Day become something bigger

I might even start my own small business…

That way, it can match my self-esteem, my IQ and my penis!!

Maybe I should make something for Johnny himself, after he was so considerate and spent all that money on this nice new fancy whoopsie Daisy whiz-bang 'WOOD BURNING/ LEATHER ENGRAVING TOOL KIT…

naaahhhhhh

Okay, okay.. so maybe I'm a dreamer…

Maybe I won't become rich and famous and popular like Elizabeth Holmes…

But maybe it's not all about the money and popularity after all?

Maybe I shouldn't be worried about money

Maybe I shouldn't worry about trying to afford the next bottle of whiskey

I should probably just relax like that guy who ate the slug several years ago

Maybe I should be more worried about my HAPPINESS than my ability to repay my daughter for all the backrent I owe her

Maybe I should just SMILE

Just like Adolf, he always smiled

Every time that cute muscular 19-year-old die waffen SS recruit would march past him

The same way Marshmallow Sally loves making people smile

Portions of this thread have been brought to you by….

ANAL SEX™

and by….. THE SALVATION ARMY ™

"Welcome to The Salvation Army Men's Shelter… When mommy's spare bedroom is no longer an option"

Additional funding has been supplied by the RON WATKINS FOR CONGRESS CAMPAIGN

Funding was then asked to be returned to the RON WATKINS FOR CONGRESS CAMPAIGN, but Jim said please let's keep it a secret just between us because Hungarian troll farm hackers have somehow infiltrated the Arizona election ballot machines, and if I don't keep it a secret children will be murdered and used for their adrenochrome by democrats worldwide…

But I couldn't return Ron's money, because their check bounced

Funding has also been provided by:

The Johnny and Wendy Neptune foundation

Making the internet great again, one confrontation at a time

Additional funding has been provided by :

JAKKOV™ Eastern Europe's Edgiest EDGEMEISTER©

"Over Here, we simply LOOK white, just like Jews"

… And 'only a little bit of feces in the glass of water' is always too much…..

"HEY KIDS !!! ITS KILLCEN HERE!!"

It looks like we're reaching the end of yet another wonderful show, and I'd like to thank everybody for putting a little money in the plate my daughter will be passing around…

But before we go, I have a couple last things I would like to share with all of you!

I would like to wish all of you a warm holiday perspiration by the fireplace as we all celebrate the second coming of my imaginary Boogeyman in the clouds who can read my mind and his secretly in control of my existence

So whether you're getting all gussied up in Times Square…..

Or if you plan on spending the holidays methodically stalking the person who ruined your entire life by hoodwinking you into a signature, but you were distracted because it's the first time anybody's ever even been able to look at you without quickly glancing away

Or if you plan on spending the holidays simply sitting in front of a microphone recording another podcast that's not actually a podcast, but just a crappy video on a free video platform provider…

Whether you plan on traveling by air or by taxi cab to the nearest emergency room….

Or if you're going to spend the holiday alone wrapped up in a good book or a bunch of gauze….

Or if you're an outgoing social butterfly type who plans on spending the holidays drinking beer with a bunch of his close male companions in a German beer hall while you beg everybody to please read your weird soliloquy of loneliness that you've entitled. MEIN KAMPF 2.0

Or even if you're a completely socially awkward misfit who pretends he's a drinker during zoom meetings where he begs random people to please pretend they are sitting in a German beer hall with him, as they idolize him and proclaim him their new FÜHRER…….

Or even if you're somebody who's honest enough with himself to admit he is one of 8 billion reasons why the human race needs to be eliminated immediately……

And who has seen true superiority, but it has four legs, a tail, and can rip your face to shreds before you can yell "SINISTAR7!!"….

Or if you plan on just sticking around the house over the holidays, as your poor overworked mother has to do all the cooking and cleaning and laundry and tidying up, vacuuming the trail of crumbs and dried sperm that lead back to her spare bedroom…

And enjoying a good holiday meal……

…. Or if youre theonlyfemale who ever gave JAKKOV a sexy glance, which was actually one of your contact lenses slipping under your upper eyelid…..

… or if you are in an unorthodox marriage, that should not be misinterpreted as anything degenerate, because you are actually an intimidating white supremacist Neo-Nazi with a penchant for fashion statements…..

Or if you're a hard-working volunteer full-time around the clock Stockholm syndrome staff writer for Jim Watkins' successful news organization THE GOLDWATER….

…. Or even if you are a devout Christian who allows his FAITH to be a guiding light in every decision he makes, even though FAITH = HOPING YOU'RE NOT WRONG…..

Or even if you are a creepy old 58 year old asshole who's gotten more pussy than any 58 men put together, and enjoys watching awkward misfits squirm when confronted with the fact that they are incapable of providing any evidence to back up their claims of superiority…..

Or if you're Jerry's girlfriend, Nancy…..

Or even if you're one of several dozen 11 year old Filipino girls who have been sodomized by Jim Watkins, but not with his penis, because it remains flaccid with females, so he paid a balding diminutive Elmer flood look alike named MAJOR BURDOCK to pin you down on a cheap urine stained mattress on the floor as Jim Watkins manually sodomized you with a empty bottle of discount off label Filipino root beer…..

Or maybe if you plan

On spending the holiday

on a crappy second-fiddle website

where they type weird

with spaces between the lines of copy

Or if you prefer spending the holidays on a more sophisticated website, literally packed to the rim with two or three random regulars and the occasional misfit who accidentally stumbles in….

Or if you're the wife of any average Trump supporter who somehow managed to survive November 5th, 2020….

Or if you're a woman who couldn't really afford the procedure, anyway….

or even if you're the REAL MESSIAH predicted in the bible, which only got it wrong by 1935 years……

Or EVEN IF YOUVE BEEN INCORRECTLY LABELED AS A "TROLL" by people who's entire lives have occurred while staring at their computer monitor, and who cannot conceptualize anything that ISN'T an internet catchphrase…..

or even if you're a guy who uses speech to text and is so busy multitasking, and developing more OC than any other human in history, and occasionally has to deal with speech to text typos, like WHO'S instead of WHOSE

>>315658

Or even if you're that one idiot out of the crowd who doesn't even realize Johnny Neptune has painted portraits of Elvis Presley for celebrities since he was 12 years old, beginning with Jerry Lee Lewis, and since he had moved from his home in Memphis Tennessee (where he went to Graceland elementary) to Atlanta georgia, one of the biggest major markets in the United States of america, every major tour would stop into atlanta, and he got to quite literally pick and choose which major celebrities and bands he wanted to paint Elvis for and go backstage and hang out with them and get free front row seats and all access credentials, including but not limited to Paul McCartney and David gilmour from Pink Floyd and U2 and Chuck Berry and Jay Leno and Billy idol and Duran Duran and Robert Goulet and Andy Kaufman and the talking heads and Elvis Costello and Joey Ramone and Devo and a laundry list of other celebrities he can't even remember right now because it's not worth it….

And who actually became friends with many of these celebrities, staying in touch with them afterwards, after discovering every single one of these celebrities was gigantic Elvis fans, with the exception of Belinda Carlisle from the band The go-go's, so Johnny ripped the picture he had painted out of Belinda Carlisle's hands after she made an off-color comment about Elvis, tore his artwork into two pieces directly in front of her and yelled in her face, "FUCK YOU, YOU FAT UGLY PIG! MY GIRLFRIEND WANTED TO SEE THE CONCERT, NOT ME!"

Or maybe the douchebag in the crowd who thinks he's intimidating, making vague ambiguous statements about legal counsel, COMPLETELY OBLIVIOUS TO THE FACT THAT JOHNNY NEPTUNE KNOWS GARY HOVEY, ATTORNEY FOR EPE AND LISA MARIE PRESLEY….

Or maybe even the down syndrome dipshit with the inverted penis who is so fucking stupid he doesn't realize before Todd Morgan had his massive heart attack, he literally flew Johnny Neptune back to his hometown of Memphis tennessee, from Neptune Beach Florida where he was living with his swedish wife, and offered Johnny Neptune a job as art director at EPE, a job with Johnny Neptune turned down, telling Danny and Carol from licensing and marketing, "I've been working for Elvis since I was 12 years old, and I'm not about to start waking up at 8:00 a.m. and putting on a tie to approve an ashtray or a coffee cup"

Even if you're THAT out of touch

(You're so dumb you didn't realize how deep you were putting your foot into your own slack-jawed mouth, cuz you had no idea I'm on the first name basis with Gary Hovey)

>>315666

Hey !!

I'm guessing you never completed second grade?

Because by the second grade, ANY 7-year-old child can read the file name PicsArt, and realize although I can do some of the cleanest high-end Photoshop and 3D animation, I'm not using Photoshop..

I'm using PICSART™

Friendly reminder :

Maybe dropping out of school

Wasn't such a good idea after all?

>>315670

By the way, Todd Morgan was a really good friend of mine for many years…

What I'm about to tell you is 100% true, although you've already proven you're the type of person who enters into anything with the predetermination that you are going to "prove that it's wrong"….

And I invite you to please go right ahead…

Because you can't, at least not with me…

I've got no reason to lie because unbeknownst to you, life is more fascinating than anything you could think up…

Believe it or not, if you're in the right places at the right times, if you know how to read people (you're not stupid obviously, but you're terrible at reading people, sorry.. you should work on that because you think you know all the answers instead of actually paying attention to people) life has thousands and thousands of amazing opportunities waiting for you to simply grasp the Brass Ring

(Grasp?)

But I'm about to tell you something that's 100% true:

The current Elvis movie that was just released.. it's actually very very good, in fact I would highly recommend that you go see it in the theater, because it will never be the same no matter how big of aTV set you own

But Todd Morgan was a really good friend of mine, and for over 2 years in the mid-90s, he and I were in discussions, developing a treatment outline for a screenplay…

Basically the Elvis Bible on film…

And it was a completely different concept, because this movie merely focuses on the twisted and deceptive exploitative relationship between Colonel Tom and his cash cow, Elvis Presley…

Our outline was actually about Elvis himself, in particular the "warts and all" behind the scenes story that most people still have no clue about whatsoever to this very day

And that's how I got to find out so many ABSOLUTELY TRUE SECRETS FROM BEHIND THE SCENES OF ELVIS PRESLEY'S LIFE, and also behind the scenes of his suicide

And yes, it was a suicide….

I'll never forget when Todd Morgan died from a massive heart attack, and that was the end of our ongoing development of a treatment which we were going to present to Gary hovey, but when Todd died, those discussions faded into history just like him

Because he was the only cool guy at Elvis Presley enterprises, trust me when I tell you that

In person, Todd resembled Charles grodin the actor who died not all that long ago

>>315670

>>315670

So do you believe EVERY obviously fabricated work of poorly executed fairy tale fiction without requiring any proof whatsoever before investing your entire life's belief system into it?…

Or just the Jesus myth?

>>315670

Because you seemed to just suggest that you "know what Jesus did and didn't do"

Which is a very bold claim from a man who buys fairy tales Hook line and sinker, without even having the basic intelligence to request a little bit of proof before he makes a fool of himself

And becomes even more laughable when one stops to consider that LEARNING THEOLOGY REQUIRES MORE THAN READING JUST ONE BOOK

(And you've never even read it all the way through, no matter how many times you deny it, you're not fooling me, because it's boring drivel and you simply feel compelled to cling to it because your parents were also molested with religion as children)

And if you read more than one book in your quest for theological wisdom :

YOU WOULD REALIZE THERE WERE 15 IDENTICAL MESSIAH FIGURES BEFORE JESUS, EACH OF THEM BEING BORN ON THE SAME DAY, DECEMBER 25TH, EACH OF THEM HAVING A VIRGIN FOR A MOTHER, EACH OF THEM BEING CALLED THE "SON OF GOD", EACH OF THEM HAVING 12 MEMPHIS MAFIA BODYGUARDS, EACH OF THEM PERFORMING MIRACLES, EACH OF THEM BEING PERSECUTED AND KILLED, AND EACH OF THEM BEING RESURRECTED 3 DAYS LATER

So you're telling me the previous 16 versions of the same story were fake, but YOURS was a true story, because he was finally white?

>>315681

When I met my wife, she had been a lipstick lesbian for 11 years, absolutely disgusted with the caveman mentality of MEN…

When I met her, I realized she's one of the smartest people I've ever met in my entire life, and trust me I know some extremely smart motherfuckers, like you wouldn't even believe it, but that's a whole different story.

I'm the first man had sex with in 11 years, because I behave differently than the average guy…

And I have no problem being weird, I'm completely comfortable being myself, and I am extremely outspoken when it comes to certain things…

Same with her….

AFTER FUCKING HER IN THE ASS ON THE FIRST DATE, WE STARTED TALKING ABOUT OUR LIVES.. AND IT TURNS OUT SHE AND I HAVE SEVERAL UNIQUE COINCIDENTAL SIMILARITIES IN OUR PAST…

LIKE THE FACT THAT WHEN I WAS 6 YEARS OLD, I WAS TAKEN TO SUNDAY SCHOOL FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE, AND AS I SAT THERE AND LISTENED TO THE ADULTS BRAINWASHING ALL OF US KIDS, SOMETHING ABOUT EVERY WORD COMING OUT OF THEIR MOUTH WAS OBVIOUSLY WRONG !!!

I WAS TOO YOUNG TO EVEN UNDERSTAND EXACTLY WHAT WAS WRONG ABOUT IT…. BUT I INSTANTLY KNEW THEY WERE LYING! NONE OF IT WAS TRUE! IT WAS ALL A LIE !!

SO I ACTUALLY INTERRUPTED THE SUNDAY SCHOOL TEACHER AND TOLD HER SHE WAS LYING !!!

{Believe it or not, I still remember the look on her face when she realized one of the brainwashing targets was being non-compliant}

{It's easier to brainwash children than adults, because most children don't have the faculties to demand proof}

She continued with her brainwashing bullshit "thou thee thine' mumbo jumbo garbage and I interrupted her again

"THIS ISN'T REAL. YOU'RE LYING. I WANT TO GO HOME RIGHT NOW!!

they called my parents and told them to hurry up and come get me, and when Dad got me in the backseat of the car, they asked him "please don't bring him back, okay?"

(Because even though you're a little kid, when adults start molesting you, whether in your butthole or molesting you with a fake religion designed to control you… YOU CAN SCREAM FOR HELP AND MAKE IT STOP)

IT TURNS OUT MY WIFE DID THE EXACT SAME THING WHEN SHE WAS A LITTLE KID… SHE'S THE ONLY OTHER PERSON I'VE EVER MET WHO DEMANDED THEY STOP BRAINWASHING THEM WITH RELIGION AND CALL THEIR PARENTS AND THEY WANTED TO GO HOME RIGHT NOW

(Believe it or not, they did the same thing, and asked her parents not to bring her back)

It's already hard enough indoctrinating and brainwashing little children with a fake religion, without having a non-compliant protester in the crowd…

It was important I never come back…

It was important she never come back…

Because if we came back, other children might want to join us in demanding they stop molesting their brains….

Or if you're a 6-year-old kid with a hot Dutch 6-year-old girlfriend, standing in front of your house with firearm like some kind of God damn George Clooney meets Lee Harvey Oswald cavalier attitude..

Or even if you're the inventor of the world famous MISTLETOE BELT BUCKLE™…

Or even if you're a wealthy athlete…..

Or if you're a medical device manufacturer….

Or if you're AN INTIMIDATING 'DARK & MYSTERIOUS' EVIL OVERLORD NEONAZI UPPER ECHELON ANTICHRIST OF INTIMIDATING, YET DECIDEDLY EFFEMINATE SOPHISTICATION……

Or perhaps if you're just a happy-go-lucky everyday meek, quiet, nondescript adult male who seems to happen inexplicable interest and compassion for 'helping guide young boys in the right direction', even though they don't have a wife, no history of sex with females, and actually had to adopt young boys into their lives, rather than engage in intercourse with a female….

Or if you're one of the two biggest fucking losers on the entire planet, the most pathetic embarrassing worthless delusional scumbags to have ever lived……

Or if you're one of the hard-working manilla midnight shift, the only source of income from an entire "empire" of failed business attempts by an obese male gynecomastia suffering Eleanor Roosevelt look alike pig farmer….

…. Or even if you're this dude…..

Or even if you recently immigrated here after being perma-banned from 4chan

… or if by chance you happen to be a Special Field Agent for The U.S. SNEAKY SERVICE™

… or if you were a Gold Medalist in the2018 SINUS INFECTION OLYMPICS™

Or even if you're one of the tiny little handful of the ONLY FEMALES TO EVER GO TO AN IMAGEBOARD….

or if you get paid by corporations to create positive reviews for their products online…

or if you're THE ACTUALREAL ANTICHRIST, folding the fabric of space-time, barreling towards Earth to come and retaliate against a new half-ass imitator you heard about who's working a chat room and stealing your intellectual property…..

Or if you're just the everyday average soldier

…. Who just signed up to join the sex war of 24…..

Or if you just so happen to be a really big fan of the transformers.. but an even bigger fan of oral sex from a communist sympathizer with small tits who also love to take it up the ass while listening to hardcore underground trance….

Or the founder of CLONER NATION™

Who also just so happens to be the photographer for all their ad campaigns

If you were disillusioned by trump, and preferred an emperor who actually HAD clothes. ..

And talent..

And who wasn't Orange…

And who could spell one syllable words

And women could have sex with him without vomiting or being paid $300,000

Or if you got fired from THINK TANK for 'thinking outside the tank'…..

Or if you've dedicated your life to being a 'one-man black hole exploration team' hellbent on going where quite literally, no man has ever gone before….. No matter how unorthodox the mode in which you have to approach the mission….

…or if you're one of two three dimensional computer generated models of robots,built by a 7-year-old child, after his father taught him how to model, articulate, texture, and animate in a 3D software program….

Or if you are the undertaker for CEMETERY.NET…..

Or if you are the globally famous SEXY BOOM BOOM™, 'world's most intelligent cat'….

Or if you're the hottest female teacher to ever be arrested for having sex with her students, by far, hands down, absolutely no competition whatsoever….

Or if you're 12 minutes late for the quarterly training seminar…..

Or if you're someone who has a hard time accepting the truth, when it challenges the very fabric of your entire family's lineage and their religious gullibility, with you perceived to be the foundation of your entire existence….

or if you're the daughter of an American internet confrontational sit-down comedian and his Swedish wife…..

Or if you're a closet homosexual who hires a pseudo-literate Filipino bravo worker to be the editor of your newspaper, giving orders to people who are 100 times more intelligent than her, simply to create plausible deniability about your sexuality….

Or if you're a closet homosexual who hires a pseudo-literate Filipinobrothel*worker to be the editor of your newspaper, giving orders to people who are 100 times more intelligent than her, simply to create plausible deniability about your sexuality….

or if you're a guy who's wife texted you and says she's shopping and discovered she's $20 short but already in line, and need you to put $20 on her card really fast…..

And assures you that she'll pay you back, at which point you explain the parameters of the deal

Or even if you're the piece of shit asshole who inexplicably cut the lower right corner off this old colored pencil illustration I did when I was 20 years old, and it was just a doodle, so it quickly got discarded and forgotten, then recently discovered just a couple years ago in one of my friends closets at his house where he grew up, which makes me wonder what the fuck kind of person would take an exacto blade and cut an entire corner off this colored pencil illustration, and even more importantly WHY?

>>315723

I literally love filtering you..

I'm not joking, either..

See, I normally NEVER EVER EVER filter

its not my style…

It's normally for cowards, but in this case it's all about entertainment value

I LITERALLY ENJOY FILTERING YOU.. IT FEELS GOOD…. HERE WE GO, ARE YOU READY?

* whispers *. "adios!"

Or if you're the only body part of KILLCEN remaining after a Cessna airplane suddenly falls out of the sky and lands on him, just a terrified eyeball, still very much alive, yet unable to transport itself or to scream for help

No shit. I was 12 minutes late….

Or even if you'reJAKKOV™, the Slavic non-white make believe white supremacist, unemployed and with absolutely zero sexual experience under his belt, other than the childhood incident, who lives with his poverty-stricken Eastern European mother in her tiny cramped dilapidated tenement apartment, in which she finally managed to earn enough money to purchase their first $50 used window unit air conditioner….

Or even if you're just a good old-fashioned red-blooded American rootin' tootin' rightwing Trump supporting make America great again genius……

or even if you're the stupid bitch who broke the sky

It doesn't even matter if you're such a genius, that you'd rather look like a mother fucking coward then to simply admit you've already heard all of the sworn testimony of the very same people you helped put into the White House, and everybody knows you are a fucking idiot, because the election wasn't stolen, and you were actually threatening a civil war based upon a drunken idea by Rudy Giuliani after they realized your caveman mouth breathing idol had lost the election fair and square…

If that's a little bit wordy:

A PATRIOT

Or if you're one of those people who always replies, "YOU DON'T SAY!", No matter what they just said to you…

So if you're somebody who struggles to play the game in which you lose, especially if you win…..

Or if you'reGRIN REAPER™, Grim's MUCH Cooler little brother……

Or if you're one of those snooty hooty people who purchases expensive reusable shopping bags……

Simply because it shows good taste, a completely understandable status symbol.

Even if you're the motorcycle jacket I bought for Jerry, even though it's hard to ride a motorcycle in a body cast……

Or even if you're part of the cleanup crew when the final molecular separation of lard from toddler occurs, and the prior aberration known as 'Trump' is no longer conjoined into a single form……

Or, God forbid, you flew in from Miami Beach BOAC, and didn't get to bed last night…..

Or if you were the upcoming future replacement for any 'online troll icons', which in 2028 will become federal law, no longer allowing any paypay or wojak icons, with non-compliance resulting in up to one year in jail and a $5,000 fine…..

Or even if you're America's beloved favorite comedy sweethearts……

Or if you're the more intelligent of the two fat stupid idiots……

Or even if the least embarrassing thing you ever did was finally putting a bullet between your eyes…..

Or even if you're not a particularly big fan of woodburning or engraving leather…..

It doesn't even matter if you're the one of the only groups of people who have less value than Christians…..

It's even okay if you are SO GULLIBLE, that you :actually thought it used to be great in the first place'……

It doesn't even matter if you're a developer….

Or if you just sit around projecting…..

… Or if you're simply so batshit crazy and obviously psychotic that you scare the customers so they trick you into believing you're needed to count sticks of chewing gum in the storage closet down in the basement, were the customers can't even hear you….

>>315762

…..andIlove telling you what a dick you are

>>315762

Obviously you've never been paid to think of creative concepts..

Notice there wasn't a question mark at the end of my last string of words, because it's not a question.. I made a statement…

Allow me to repeat the statement, because I realize you have a learning disability.. I've heard repetition works wonders with stupid people, so let's do it one more time…

OBVIOUSLY YOU HAVE NO EXPERIENCE IN THE CREATIVE FIELD WHATSOEVER

>>315767

a devilish type of dance, but one of which the moves are easily attained. truly a good song to move to.

Maybe your father never told you, because he didn't care enough to tell you..

Maybe he wasn't there to tell you what I'm about to explain.. maybe he looked at you, then at your mother, and said "fuck this shit. I'm going to cut my losses while I still can"

However it happened, obviously you've never had anybody explain this to you before.. so I guess I'm going to do you a favor and make it really easy to understand, okay?

"INTIMIDATING" CONCEPTS SUCK

Things like SATANIC or ANTICHRIST or SINISTER or anything built on predictable tired old cliches, like skulls and devils or demons.. it's all so fucking cliche, how could you possibly think you're being creative?

It's the farthest thing from intimidating I can possibly imagine…

It's infantile, like a Walmart Halloween children's costume section… It's all so hackneyed and washed out.. completely predictable..

It's embarrassing, because it's generally used by weird angry cystic acne dumb mouth breeding trailer park trash 18-year-olds, who don't understand why no girls will give them the time of day, so they try "doubling down" on the predictable "I'm edgy and intimidating" black t-shirts with skulls and heavy metal music and trying to behave like some kind of "dark mysterious, misunderstood intimidating evil power guy"…

But instead, they always end up making the girls laugh even harder, distancing themselves from being accepted even further with each and every predictable cliche they spray paint onto themselves in an effort to "attract girls by looking intimidating"…

Girls are not attracted to that shit…

It's embarrassing. Why would a girl want to be embarrassed? It's simply uncool. It's a clear indicator of not knowing who or what you even are yet, so it's obvious that it's tryhard

Or even if you are a completely brainwashed servant, a slave not only in the mind but also of the body, totally entangled in a Stockholm syndrome scenario, literally volunteering to sacrifice your virginity, both vaginal and anal, as a testament to your undying loyalty to a predictable cult of personality….

Or even if you're just a lowly teenage summer job tour guide making minimum wage as you walk tourists through one of the world's most legendary museums……

Or even if you're a two-dimensional illustration of a wine bottle, who happens to be dating a short fat ghetto wine bottle with a big wide ass, which is why when you're out in public you don't stand very close to her, because you're worried and attractive wine bottle might see you next to your pathetic fat lard ass ghetto girlfriend, and laugh at you for not being able to get a tall thin attractive bottle with nice curves…..

or even if you are one of the 4 billion females who wouldn't be caught dead in an imageboard, no matter how much money you offered her, simply because she has a little bit of self-respect….

Or one of the 4 billion women who have never even heard about the stupid gay little "imageboard" thing…..

….. What used to be called BBS back when I started, the same thing noobs call an "imageboard" is actually nothing more than a CHATROOM… Nothing more and nothing less

And even if you are one of the 4 billion women on planet Earth who couldn't give any less of a flying fuck about the gay little "chatroom culture….

Or even if you are one of those cats that loves the ocean so much, you won't stop pestering your favorite human until they take you back to the beach again, where you love laying in the sand as the waves roll up, and gently begin rolling back away from you after coming only two or three feet away, as you lay there like a sphinx facing the ocean….

Or even if you are a fully grown man, who has no need to look for a job, even though you don't have any discernible talent OR skills whatsoever, no obvious 'superiority' in ANY aspect of functional adult life or career skills, yet obviously don't need to look for a job, because you're receiving money from the United States government, in a welfare program that wipes the asses of lazy adults who make excuses, relying on some alleged diagnosis of a psychiatric disorder, and using it as a cash cow Free Ride meal ticket for a lazy piece of shit who isn't even qualified to flip hamburgers at McDonald's, but chooses to remain in his mother's spare bedroom, sitting at his little computer he bought with welfare money, riding his mother's Wi-Fi for free, and pretending to be an intimidating Neo-Nazi Antichrist Nostradamus fag show intimidator…

>>315836

Or even if you're the overly masculine 'definitely not gay' lavender limpwristed 'I swear to God I'm not gay, I'm not' brilliant genius leadership quality mastermind 'I said I swear to God I'm not gay' color coordinated mother's bath towels superhero fantasy white supremacist neo-Nazi NEW HITLER