No.2884 [View All]
I think, we need to confess which particular matters trouble us the most, so that someone who efficiently fought the same urge would help us somehow. Or, on the contrary, someone NOT into our degeneracy might convience us why we should not like what we like, induce revusion, find something disgusting enough we will be able to counteract our desires further on.
As the last measure, just shame into revulsion. It's easier to avoid something we feel shame for when we see some external disgust, then when it is kept strictly a private matter and we can lie ourselves it's alright. noB8, self-esteem is overrated, life is perfectly operable without one. Lots of succsessfull people have always had low self-esteems. And what's the point of having one when you are still weak anyway and do not deserve it? It's just a lie.
Spoilered links to your degeneracy are a must.
I'll start:
Heterosexual furries.
https://e621.net/post/show/370037
Remember, niggers: don't open links if that's your thing. If you do, you are what's wrong with this world.
Don't hesitate to answer posts already answered to - the more help - the better.
____________________________
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No.6488
>>6476
>medication
there's your problem
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No.6497
>>6476
>medication
If you've been on it for years you may need to treat it like a narcotic addiction and get a friend to lock you in an apartment for a weekend while feeding you healthy food. If you don't feel ready for that, start exercising first (go to /fit/, read the sticky, get the exercises from Starting Strength) and try weaning yourself off of it.
You got yourself into this with your own brain chemicals. You can get yourself out of it with your own brain chemicals.
>I want to sleep and not wake up.
Then kill yourself. You live at a point in human history where access to information and advanced technology make personal change easier than it has ever been, for anyone on the face of the earth. You don't need to go on a month-long pilgrimmage to the Shaolin monks to understand how to exercise, or how to eat healthily, or anything. You can either suffer because you're a fat piece of shit or suffer because you're disciplining yourself. The choice is yours, but don't waste everyone's time whining about how much your life sucks. How wretched do you have to be to think a bunch of people on an anonymous image board will be impressed with your sack of shit life?
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No.6500
>>6467
I just Google image searched vore porn (stupid I know).
How the fuck do you get off to that shit? It's more disturbing than arousing.
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No.6508
>>6500
I think soft vore is a little less fucked up than cannibalism and other stuff, but I suppose it's splitting hairs. Mostly what got me off was the dangerous/perilous aspect - the idea of a woman being consumed by a plant or a tentacle monster and turned into a breeding slave is hot not just because of her being fucked, but because it's implied to be the end of her life as a normal woman. Freud drew parallels between death and sex, and I think he was more right than he would seem to be at first glance.
Power is part of it, too, of course. A woman being overpowered sexually (or even non-sexually) is hot.
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No.6510
I pretty much only fap to 2 things:
>Bondage
because on some level I think the only way I could have sex with a girl is if it was against her will (and I wouldn't be strong enough to keep her against her will unless she was bound).
>POV humiliation/domination
because on some level I believe I'd only be given sexual attention for negative reasons - to laugh at me, for money, to boost her ego, etc.
I don't feel that pathetic on a day-to-day basis, but porn helps me indulge in those unhealthy instincts, and it reinforces them. Preventing that is my main reason for NoFap.
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No.6511
>>6508
I typed in soft vore and saw an image of a woman voluntarily being consumed by a snake.
Not sure it's better
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No.6514
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No.6518
>>6511
As I said, splitting hairs. I think there is a difference since hard vore has never done it for me because it crosses the line into guro. I won't pretend it isn't fucked up.
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No.7216
>>2884
Get those rage faces out of hear
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No.7401
watching tranny being fucked or bjing
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No.7427
I enjoy femdom, soft or hard, lesbian, hentai, tentacle and impregnation or tentacle and vore, lots of hypno shit as well mainly sissy and feminization but that hypno shit mainly started with regression and unpotty training hypno files which I burnt through rather quickly since that scene is not NEARLY as big as the sissy/cuck/feminization scene.
Of all my disgusting tastes, one that has been with me since I can remember is AR, or age regression, I actually get aroused by the idea of becoming younger or people becoming younger, I mean a lot younger, if not a newborn baby just a 1 or 2yr old.
Its not a p3d0 thing, at least I think its not, I dont want any kind of sexual involvement what so ever in this fantasies, but rather, I associate the age regression process of someone, especially a beautiful woman with the fact that what is being taken away is their whole goals in life, their power, their adulthood and confidence, their power over themselves and independency, forced to be helpless, innocent and even loose stuff as basic as being able to properly walk, grab stuff with their hands or not pee their pants. Its really weird for me to understand why this triggers such an sexual response on me, but I've fapped an incalculable amount of times of comics or gifs or even very short videos of people turning into babies, be that movies or even cartoons. I've read hundreads of stories from www.ararchive.com and currently I have over 100gb of porn that involves mainly AB/DL fetish which is the closest you can get to my perverted kink since there is no actual way to regress a human being to baby stage, thank god though, I think I would have paid with my soul to get that shit done in the past if it was possible.
Serious degeneracy here… be warned.
**I waxed my body almost completely, started using diapers regularly on weekends to start weakening my bladder, I would sometimes wear a chastity cage in order to cause ED, started buying baby food jars, a crib mobile I would hang over my bed and I even started making plans to have a custom adult-sized crib crafter from a carpenter on which I planned to hook a couple of speakers to have hypno files playing while I was sleeping to further convince me of my actual "baby identity". It got to the point started considering having most of my teeth removed as well as my testicles or at least pulled back "up", fucking retarded and disgusting, absolute MADNESS.
I can't believe some of the things that would go through my mind, Its been truly 2 years from that, luckily I was unexpectedly redpilled when I was turning more and more into shemale porn for fapping and I felt as if all sort of ALERTS were going off in my mind. Unbelievably stupid of me, I started asking in a degenerate community if anyone else was having second thoughts or felt wrong doing the things we were doing, most of the replies were simply, "just relax" "its just a fetish" "you just need to fap to it a little bit more then you will just learn to like and enjoy it for real" and one person went as far as to tell me "what really made me realize this was for me was the first time I had a prostate orgasm with my aneros dildo, after your first sissygasm it all becomes easier, trust me" then one day while visiting /boypussi/ /hypno/ and /abdl/ I stumbled upon /pol/ after being involuntary redpilled about some stuff eventually I found this place… **
It's been 5 days since I actually WATCHED/READ porn and its becoming easier, I had reached a 1 month mark before but during that time I would sometimes peak in porn sites or degenerate sites, and THAT'S WHY I FAILED! I relapsed and I fapped like crazy to the most disgusting shit ever. Now I know how to succeed, how to make it, how to break free from this shit thats been haunting me my whole life, I'm not watching porn anymore, I'm not.
I'm feeling more and more attracted to regular women on the street, its crazy, I feel like women are more sensual now, legs specially, I dont need a cleavage, just the side of boobs I experience different now, its so weird but at the same time it feels more real… I want to make it annons.
I WILL MAKE IT
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No.7432
>>7427
jesus christ fam. reminder that people will defend that behaviour. oven them all
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No.7481
>>7427
And I thought I was fucked up for jerking off to women vomiting after a rough blowjob.
why do u still have ur stash lol
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No.7487
>>7481
I have been fapping to this shit for years and I'm planning my life without it step by step, I feel as if I go ahead and rush into it I'll relapse even worse than before.
Its almost as if I had a "security blanket" not part of my ab/dl fetish although I actually had one to play pretend baby, I mean sort-of-like "security blanket" I need to know its there but I'm actually not looking at it, nor I'm visiting those sick perverted sites anymore.
There will come a time, I hope soon, where it will be just as simple as deleting it because it has served its purpose and I simply dont really see the need anymore to keep holding that stash, I'm staying strong fighting the urges fully aware that simply by watching is considered a relapse while before I only considered PM or PMO a relapse (I used to edge a lot). Now that I truly understand that watching porn WILL make me relapse eventually I know what I have to do, keep away from porn of all kinds, enjoy video games, music, movies, focus on your job, do some exercise and enjoy outdoors.
I WILL MAKE IT!
YOU CAN TOO, JUST DON'T QUIT FAPPING ALONE, QUIT PORN AS WELL, LESS URGES EQUALS LESS RELAPSE, LESS RELAPSE EQUALS GUARANTEED SUCCESS
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No.7560
>>7487
woke up super horny, started thinking "may be" it wouldn't be so bad to see a bit of my stash, just a peek…
I went ahead and deleted the whole fucking thing
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No.7587
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No.10950
>>2884
Gay
Tentacle
Ghost/NonHuman/Mind Control
Furry/Bestiality
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No.11160
>jerk off at least 3-4 times a day
>mostly to hentai but occasionally hardcore pr0n to break up the monotony
>most damaging: trap, gay furry, bestiality, loli
I would have no sexual interest in males if it weren't for traps or gay furs. And I wouldn't have done things I shouldn't have to my ass.
Same goes for children. There used to be a clear distinction 2D lolis and actual children, in regards to what turns me on, but its only gotten hazier as time went on. I even used to browse some pedo boards on here that have since been deleted and worse places, so you can add light CP to the list.
My whole life has been consumed by guilt and shame. I binge fap until i can't cum anymore and just sit and soak in the feeling of profound emptiness that follows after.
I'm hardly an adult and I feel like I could change if I tried, maybe if i start posting here it will help.
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No.11161
>>11160
Just fucking quit staring at porn altogether, go to library and open up a book. And don't speak to any women about sugestive themes for about a month, until you learn to act decently again.
Or slowly fight off your urges, reduce your fap habits from multiple times a day to once. Then once every second day. Then maybe once every 5th day. Then a week. And from there you could be set to achieve true nofap status.
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No.11164
>came in my sleep
>decided that it would be alright to break the week streak at that point
If it's not ending at day three, it ends for me on day 7. I'm having a lot of problems with this.
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No.11168
>>11161
I'll start today by only fapping once
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No.11169
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No.11187
Idk why everything that makes males submit (like pegging) or homosexual (including ts) makes me hard. For some reason interracial makes it even worse. That includes hentai, futanari and all of that stuff.
I feel like before entering NoFap I must transition to normal porn, to make it as heterosexual as possible.
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No.11195
>>11187
bad idea, you'll get nowhere. as long as you're away from porn you're mind will readjust itself, and you'll learn to appreciate the vanilla stuff again. trust me. just be sure to keep yourself busy doing something productive. pull your mind out of the gutter.
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No.11196
>>2884
I got back into the fapping habit to save myself from myself, in a manner of speaking.
It gets to the point where about 2 weeks in I start going on tinder and grinder for random hookups.
I know how dangerous it is, how risky it is and that it makes me feel guilty and hate myself afterwards, so I started fapping again so I would lose the motivation to put myself in a risky situation, and stay home since I no longer have the urge.
The last two limes were horrible, intimately speaking, and also handled pretty stupidly. It's like I just throw rationality out the window and just ended up inviting stangers from the internet to my house after talking to them for a couple of hours, not to mention the std's I could put myself at risk for. It's never happened but if I keep doing it, it's only a matter of time.
fml
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No.11241
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No.11909
>>3376
My theory is that they feel guilty about fapping they feel like the biggest shit they start to hate women who reject them (or just afraid of them) and they start to use this frustration to fap to IR
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No.11910
>>11196
ur gay?
try cold showers once the urge hits…?
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No.11913
I feel incredibly sad for being a loner kv so I always get this idea that somehow faping will make those feels go away or replace them somehow. I cant stay at nofap long because I dont think I can ever have gf in current social climate
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No.15236
While this thread is helpful, actually admitting your shameful fetishes to someone you trust (your priest, your family, ect.) gives you the extra motivation not to indulge in the habits because now you have accountability to abandon your sinful past.
Admitting to my brother about my fucked up vore fetish allowed me to truly see how degenerate pornography really is. It is not wonder, considering how destructive deviancy is, that the ancients imposed a death penalty for it. This degeneration spreads and can actually destroy whole civilizations, as we are seeing right now in Japan.
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No.15241
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No.15282
>>11160
I used to jack off to loli porn, VR loli rape, and child porn (rape) and it really messed with my head
I quit porn sometime late January because in a moment of astounding clarity, as someone who has grown up in a Christian home I felt extremely guilty about jacking off to loli porn and very consciously aware of the reason and yet in response I ended up jacking off to loli porn to relieve myself of that horrible feeling of guilt and in realizing how screwed up I was and that I couldn't quit on my own I repented and accepted Jesus into my heart and haven't jacked off since.
Even after over 50 days without touching my dick, just typing out that first sentence was triggering me and it makes me feel incredibly disgusted with myself.
I still struggle with staring too long at lewd images which tempt me and clicking on sketchy links out of curiosity that I know might have things that tempt me or clicking on a low res thumbnail that vaguely resembles something lewd out of curiosity to see the full sized image knowing that it might be something that will tempt me and even visiting the 8chan /nofap/ board knowing full well that Anons love to spam porn where it doesn't belong is probably me doing subconscious mental gymnastics to tempt myself (gonna leave this board after posting this) but I am trying to do my best to avoid triggers like that and so I've quit anime altogether, I've uninstalled my manga reader app, I've stopped visiting the chans for the most part, I've deleted my browser history so I don't get autofill suggestions for porn sites, and I've made sure to read the Bible daily because God's got some serious wisdom for people resisting temptation (no way I'd have made it 5 days, much less 50 without God)
My first few days of nofap were spent praising God because there's no way I'd be able to even begin to quit on my own but because of how much I've screwed up my head from porn, every day since has been a major struggle but those first few days of smooth sailing have been a great encouragement and so I'm hoping that eventually I'll be able to resist these temptations long enough that I'll be able to go back to those days where I don't feel tempted by every slender short woman and cute drawing I see and end up feeling disgusted with myself
I'll be praying for you anons.
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No.17794
>>15282
Hey anon, I admire the bravery you have admitting this anywhere. Sme would call you a monster, but I see you as someone who is under the influence of sin, as we all are. I am like you, anon. I had a very bad pornography problem, and I came to Jesus and I have failed along this road but I am in a much better place now thanks to Him. You probably won't read this, but thank you for sharing. Pray for me.
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No.17893
>>17794
I masturbated to pornography every night for years, but I slowly repented and got better and better all the way to present day. And yes, I was waaaay far gone. You name it i jacked off to it. Like for real, almost anything you can imagine except for snuff or mexican midget bondage or obscure shit like that. I was doing so well, but in the past few months i have encountered a problem. About once a week i will wake up in the middle of the night and masturbate while I'm still half-asleep. I just masturbated about an hour ago and i am confessing this to anyone who will listen.
But to be perfectly frank with y'all
>pause
Ok, here comes the full truth:
This only happens to me on nights when i drink alcohol.
…
I guess that means i should quit drinking.
Goddammit.
I think i might be an alcoholic, bros.
I just traded porn addiction for alcohol addiction.
What do?
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No.17900
>>15282
>>17794
Well, here i am yet again. May Jesus Christ forgive me. I lasted a full week, but last night i drank a couple of beers that my mom bought for me and sure enough i masturbated again just about an hour ago. At the very same moment that i masturbated there was a surge in radio chatter in the caucasus region of russia:
https://boards.4chan.org/pol/thread/319205375
>tfw i'm causing WWIII by masturbating.
I'm so sorry, bros. May God have mercy upon my soul.
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No.17905
>>17900
You were running a good race. Who cut in on you to keep you from obeying the truth?
Galatians 5:7
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No.17906
I have a fetish for women fainting. I keep posting about it online just to see people's reactions.
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No.17908
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No.17910
i have nothing to confess to losers like you, but i'll do what's right
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No.18042
Be warned that the content below may be triggering. I am a degenerate but i want to change so badly, but i'm having such a difficult time doing it.
I think i've been watching porn and fapping since i was around 10 - 12 years old. I'm now 24. I've never gotten into any truly depraved porn like i've in some other posts i've seen in this thread - mostly the average kind of stuff you see on the front pages of popular porn websites. Watching porn at least once a day and maybe fapping once or twice. In that whole time i don't think I've gone without porn or masturbation for longer than a week at most. Around 16 I became aware of nofap and i realized that this was a problem i ought to stop right away, but i've failed every time. it's become such a routine habit that it's become almost impossible to break.
a few years ago a certain smokeable medicinal herb was made legal in my state. Of course, i quickly discovered that this herb had the ability to prolong my fapping sessions, make me have more pleasurable orgasms, and generally turn off the thinking part of my brain such that i could more or less entrance myself for hours-long porn and masturbation sessions. The first time i experienced doing this, i had a profound revelation which i've never forgotten: that it was extremely pleasurable, and that it had the potential to destroy my life. that was around 3 years ago already and yet i've continued doing it.
when the pandemic began n march last year, it only made my siutation worse. there have been continuous lockdown measures in my city since March 2020 which are curretnly still going on. I've been essentially trapped in my house for well over a year, with my roommates (and close family) as the only sources of in-person social interaction. As a result i leaned more into the herb and porn as a method of coping with the profounnd feelings of isolation, deppression, and monotony that have come about due to the lockdowns.
this is where it gets bad. I am still in school, annd the past semester was especially brutal, with classes all online, doing a part-time job, annd brutal exams in april. I don't know what the originnal impulse for me doing this was, other than perhaps a sense of deep frustration, but i evolved out of my usual porn watching. i began to go through the facebook photo albums of hot girls i knew from high school, download the pictures i liked, and fapped to them so that i would cum on the images on my computer screen so they looked like facials. i did this many times, to multiple girls. at one low point, i was even photoshooping their faces onto porn pics of girls who looked like them. perhaps this came about as a result of repressed fantasies about these girls, but for me it signalled a break in reality; something had changed. i felt hateful and vengeful; with smoking pot it felt even real.
the real breaking point came a few weekends ago. i live with 3 other women in my house. on that weekend, all 3 of them were away while i stayed in the house to take care of things there. being isolated this way, i smoked more weed and fapped. and again, i don't know why i did this other than to feel the thrill of addiction. but i snuck into the rooms of two of my roommates, took some of their panties, and jacked off and came into them. when i finished i took care to make sure i left no trace. these were probably the highest orgasms i've felt in a long time. once i was finished i felt an immense amount of guilt and shame, an overwhelming emptyness inside, like something had been ripped from the root of my soul. even then, i couldn't get myself to stop - i did it 3 more times, all while knowing i should NOT be doing this and that this was a bridge that couldn;t be uncrossed. the roommates returned and i've been wallowing in a cloud of fear and disgust with myself since, especially since they trust me and like me well. i broke their trust and have defiled them, and the guilt is unbearable.
i'm at my rope's end, bros. I don't know what else to do. the feelings of shame and guilt are unbearable. i can't believe that i've spent so many years on this addiction, and i can foresee that if i let it continue it will literally kill me in a few more years- my depression is bad enough already. i'm in anguish; there's a cancer on my soul that has kept metastasizing and growing. i don't know where else to turn apart from this board, and giving my heart to Jesus, but i haven't found the strength yet to give myself to a higher power.
thank u anons for taking the time to read this.
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No.18044
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No.18045
>>3142
>Interracial (blacks on blondes)
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No.18049
This thread really helped! I'm struggling bros, always.
The only answer for me is no porn, ever. I keep letting it back into my life, and it starts off vanilla, even positive in some ways, but it always, inevitably leads to some dark shit. Longtime chloroform fetish (that's a weird one, but I've had it since like age 5), likewise sleeping women, and last but not least hebes… No hard CP, but I end up on sites that just scrolling through looking for what I'm interested in destroy my fucking brain… you just aren't supposed to see some shit bros. Desensitized to it now and that's scary.
Also lolicon (go figure), and tons of vanilla shit. Facebook pics of women I know. Handjobs, femdom stuff. Gloryholes. Rape (not real only, but realistic).
This last run has been a couple weeks, maybe. I was totally clean, then the woman in my life starts being a grade-a cunt and I relapse into something easier. Like, fuck trying, right?
What's fucking dumb is that I actually get over this shit, and it has no hold over me. I'm not a pedophile - when I'm clean I have no fucking interest in hebes and it feels absurd. But when I'm in a low place it has a way back in, and I gradually relapse to the point where it's always on my mind, rotting my fucking brain, effecting me in all my choices and interactions. I think it's like what a lot of you dudes are saying… it's like a hard drug at that point, you just keep going deeper and deeper to keep getting that dopamine fix. Always a downward spiral.
Anyways, I deleted everything again. Cleared my history, bookmarks etc. too so I can't find my way back to anything familiar. Wish me luck bros.
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No.18051
>>18042
wow, what a story
inspired me to NOT jack off, sorta funny because I was going to sankakucomplex but they walled off the real degernate stuff behind their 9.99 fee, so I was like well theres free chans… and just popped in here and scrolled the list of boards, I feel lucky I found a christian and nofap board before any appetizing porn boards, not sure if I'm going to go full no fap, but I'll hold true at least for the rest of the day as a way to give some spiritual strength to the strugglers here.
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No.18059
Well, I caved again boys. I haven't felt so terrible in ages. I don't have room for this shit in my life. I keep thinking "If I give it a day or two of buffer before I have to do anything, I can recover", but it's more like weeks, months. I've fucked wrecked myself. I was a mess at work and I'm in a leadership position. People depend on me, however small it is…. and I'm a complete fucking wreck of a human being.
Fuck, I need to stop. Hold me to it, bros. I'm fucking tired of feeling like this. The answer is plain as day, I learn the lesson over and over again to repeat the same mistakes. How fucking long will it take for me to learn?
Tired of this cycle. FUCK THIS.
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No.18076
Impregnation, Lolicon, NTR, Gangbang. In that order and occasionally combined. I tried nofap and that lead me to craving real CP due to the immense PMO pangs I was having. Best thing I ever did was catch some on edenchan and realized that there was a spark of decency deep inside me.
Immediately lost the pangs and felt disgusted with myself. Since then I've been weaning myself off porn, starting by cutting out the lolicon and its working. I feel more and more disgusted everytime I do it, and it excites me less and less.
Hell for a long period of time I couldn't even get off to porn that wasn't drawn and extremely degenerate. But now I can easily do so, and further prevent myself from hitting the cursed shit.
I wish I had started before I became an adult, as PIED has kept me a closet virgin for a few years now, and its clear that lolicon is no longer tolerated even by the internet. (And the internet tolerates a lot of degenerate shit).
But I see a light at the end of the tunnel.
I think I can beat this.
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No.18085
>>2884
Forgive me Anon for I have cummed. Its been 12 years since my last confession. I keep having wet dreams every seven days. Sometimes I wake up and fap furiously in defeat. I cant get over my ex at a deep emotional level. As for my animal urges I have burned into the back of my eyelids a few porn videos of girls showing off their naked bodies in public wearing drops of cum on their face at the drive thru and shocking cashiers. I have had the regularly occuring opportunity for sex with incredible women I never thought would be in my league but I would rather read Schopenhauer for years than spill my seed, my life force. I do not have the money or patience to deal with horny sluts adding to the horny distractions I suffer on my own from my life's work. I want to be a master craftsman not a master baiter of masturbators. I'm going to the laundromat to clean my sheets today. Huge load this time. Some of you guys are alright. Dont go to the laundromat this morning.
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No.18086
>>18085
Im going to shoot someone guys when I get to the Laundromat Im going to EXPLODE (with cum)
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No.18116
ok then I will use this as confession/journal I guess.
I am tired and I think I am fucked beyond repair. I have had sex twice in my life, once with a bimbo looking escort who was riding me pretty rough and was actually hurting me so she stopped and simply jacked me off while I sucked her tits. And also a girl I met once on Tinder who was clearly desperate, we actually had a good time but I couldn't cum at all…
I can't seem to break away from my desires, the way I envision myself, what truly deep down brings me pleasure. I don't enjoy being alpha or dominant, I feel it comes off cringy from someone like me, I am 5'4 average, with a very nerd looking dude, I am already 33 and have nothing to bring to the table for a healthy partner in a relationship. I also struggle with the idea of taking charge and leading with masculine energy.
Ever since I can remember I had feared growing up and becoming a man, I have dreaded it to the point that I fantasized becoming a little kid again, even a baby. That eventually made me solidify my desires with my sexual awakening and fucked me up so deeply that today I am a very strange "adult". Some people might have heard of autonepiofilia, infantilism or abdl, the thing is, for me, arousal comes from someone taking care of me, showering me with unconditional love and making me feel cherished, protected and adorable… I dont want to be HOT I want to be CUTE for a girl, I want to generate in them a motherly instinct so they will take over, it has been all my life like this so of course I have never have had a relationship being driven by sexual fetishes away from more healthy bonds.
I got into erotic hypnosis as well big time, going to bed while playing subliminal messages, getting files that promised me to become more like a baby, even fuck up my genitals and receive pleasure from wetting uncontrollably in a diaper (I wish this was a lie). Although I got really little progress, the little progress, even today, compels me to keep trying to achieve the full experience. Removing body hair, being incontinent, unable to achieve erections, the internet will provide support for even your wildest and most fucked up desires yet.
I look back, once I though I had made it, got rid of it, the relapse would be even worse. I managed to quit for almost 2 months, but I had some left over abdl stuff and I decided to play one last time before getting rid of it for good but of course I went back to my old habbits and all that effort was worth nothing. Because an addicts battles his desires on daily basis you never truly recover from this kind of thing…
I even delved into pretty fucked up things like sissy hypno, that shit will surely scramble your brain big time in a really scary way, not sure I have that desire under control as well. I know I am not into male physical appearance but 10 years ago a trap or a very femenine shemale would make me feel sick and nowadays its not the case.
I have on the mail orders for sex toys and more abdl stuff which will no doubt keep plunging me further downwards into the spiral, I have not fapped in almost a week, but my urges are not going down, I have even stayed away from porn, I have gone outside for exercise and I am not eating really bad so I am out of ideas… I guess I am just trying to guilty myself into stopping or keeping a record of how I deeper descend into madness.
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No.18120
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