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/nofap/ - Fappers Anonymous

A support group for getting your fap addiction under control.

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RULES AND FAQ: https://8kun.top/nofap/rules.html

File: eaeb770a6f39405⋯.jpg (1.62 MB,3024x3024,1:1,1541268384174.jpg)

 No.13680

BEHOLD THE ALTAR OF THE CUM CAN!

(doesn't actually contain cum)

I got sick of people calling nofap a cult so I started a joke cult around it.

Approach the altar? [yes/no]

____________________________
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 No.13682

Maybe with these candles?

I've masturbated many times in a church, but the altar has an alarm in place, so no jizz there.

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 No.13683

hmm, my image of penis-shaped candles didn't make it.

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 No.13688

Are you supposed to cum in the can? Or is it a representation of your cum which you CAN cum, but don't cum because of your will to not cum?

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 No.13695

File: 2e0f2a792a461c0⋯.jpeg (72.44 KB,444x355,444:355,C88A9D54-ED55-4C53-89BF-7….jpeg)

>>13688

The can represents the seminal vesicle. It is contained with two circles of glass mancalas and candles. The can itself was an improvised weed pipe. When I quit weed I painted it over white and it became The Cum Can. I still smoke weed sometimes but I don’t keep it on me anymore.

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 No.13696

File: 1b6107c1758137c⋯.png (57.64 KB,1229x1160,1229:1160,D0DAF13F-44D4-4726-B58A-EC….png)

>>13682

>Anon found the jizz alarm

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 No.13698

>>13695

Ok, why does it need an altar? I mean, what are we worshiping here. You need to write some holy texts for us anon.

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 No.13699

File: da8333983345691⋯.png (151.75 KB,1494x881,1494:881,what the hell are you doin….png)

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 No.13702

>>13698

We need a nofap-chan who is a pure waifu and wears a chastity belt.

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 No.13711

File: fef2dbf9f2986b9⋯.jpg (58.63 KB,600x820,30:41,fef2dbf9f2986b9e33575a0bfc….jpg)

>>13702

>chastity belt

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 No.13714

>>13711

Its just until she gets married, Anon.

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 No.13716

File: 4bff6ed539c0c4a⋯.jpg (26.62 KB,426x362,213:181,1462587267531.jpg)

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 No.13718

>>13716

You may proceed to gas your self, heretic.

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 No.13719

File: eacf8223ffc40dc⋯.jpg (25.5 KB,385x337,385:337,1465344319550.jpg)

>>13718

chastity belts have no place here, they are nothing but weird fetish shit, regardless if it's a drawing or real.

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 No.13729

>>13719

Seconded, we can’t risk getting anyone’s fetish involved.

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 No.13730

>>13719

Its suppose to be a symbol of purity. We don't want no-fap-chan to be some used up slut, do we?

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 No.13732

>>13698

THE POST OF SAMUEL

In the beginning there was no bandwidth and no service.

EYES and EARS collected the COSMIC POST.

EARS and MOUTHS echoed the COSMIC POST. FINGERS and PAINT scribbled the COSMIC POST.

Then in AD 1844 (checked) SAMUEL FB MORSE strung a telegraph wire from Washington DC to Baltimore and THE FIRST SHITPOST was spake upon it.

.– …. .- - …. .- - …. –. — -.. .– .-. — ..- –. …. - ··–··

Telegraph wires connected city to city, and crossed the oceans.

WAR and PEACE, NEWS and HISTORY, SOY and OATS, all were POSTED through the wire and ALMOST NOBODY fapped to it.

(so endeth THE POST OF SAMUEL)

>>13702

>>13730

No waifus.

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 No.13733

File: 58843615879251c⋯.jpeg (456.76 KB,2045x2046,2045:2046,1B0250B0-A3EB-40AE-AF76-2….jpeg)

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 No.13735

File: 7be50406948a4c4⋯.jpg (111 KB,1920x1080,16:9,stupid as goblins.jpg)

>>13732

>cult

>no waifus

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 No.13739

File: 350483f74fdcc32⋯.jpeg (1.72 MB,3024x3024,1:1,D311FA6D-A991-4638-9A1E-7….jpeg)

Make your own Cum Can:

1. Pick an empty metal can.

2. Rough the surface with sandpaper. You don’t need to remove all of the original paint, but a rougher surface will adhere better to the new coat.

3. Dent one side of the can and poke one hole in the middle of a concave part of the can. This creates the Cum Can’s menacing eye.

4. Spray paint the can white.

5. Surround the can with a circle of candles and surround the circle with other phallic objects.

6. Keep a many-sided die (d8 or higher) to count the number of days on nofap.

Every morning or just when you feel like fapping, follow these steps:

1. Light one candle.

2. Use this candle to light the rest of the containment circle.

3. Speak your rhyming inCANtation, repeat as needed.

4. Move the counter die to your current streak day.

5. Blow out the candles.

You can do these steps as slowly as desired, just don’t burn your house down. Below are some examples of inCANtation. Choose one or make up your own but it has to rhyme or it won’t work.

A. Cum Can Cum Can keep my seed

bring me powr and fame and greed!

B. Cum Can Cum Can keep my spooge

lift my weights and make me huge!

C. Cum Can Cum Can keep my goop

nutrients in constant loop!

D. Cum Can Cum Can keep my smear

that I might slap that bitch’s rear!

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 No.13741

>>13739

Ok now I'm liking this.

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 No.13747

File: 090ac7fea5304d5⋯.jpeg (1.7 MB,3024x3024,1:1,BD363709-9818-4C37-AEC7-1….jpeg)

File: 8856f13a84b90e7⋯.jpeg (2.44 MB,4032x3024,4:3,3E13585A-9465-4A2B-B53D-8….jpeg)

File: 8856f13a84b90e7⋯.jpeg (2.44 MB,4032x3024,4:3,29E44A51-A52C-4C0A-B82C-9….jpeg)

Feel free to post your own Cum Can when you make one

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 No.13749

>>13747

I like your cum can just fine.

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 No.13750

>>13749

Thanks friendo

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 No.13754

File: 0e96cdb24b56238⋯.jpeg (2.15 MB,3024x3024,1:1,AC93FD6D-0F74-4BDE-9425-D….jpeg)

File: cb5466a60e96048⋯.jpeg (100.06 KB,640x419,640:419,5846D342-6C4B-4E02-B54C-3….jpeg)

>>13732

>>13733

In 1876, the telephone surpassed the telegraph accessibility and fapability. Telephone wires connected city to city, and crossed the oceans. WAR and PEACE, NEWS and HISTORY, SOY and OATS, all were conversed about over the wire, and SOMEONE SOMEWHERE was fapping with their ear on the speaker.

In 1894 the modern film projector was invented, far surpassing the telephone in fapability. WAR and PEACE, NEWS and HISTORY, SOY and OATS, all appeared in projected light, but SOMEONE SOMEWHERE was fapping in a darkened room.

In 1976 the first home VHS was released, surpassing film projection in accessibility and ease of use. WAR and PEACE, NEWS and HISTORY, SOY and OATS, all came out on VHS, and SOMEONE EVERYWHERE was fapping to them.

In 1992 the internet began hosting images.

In 1993 the internet began hosting video.

The world had been laced with wire for generations, but the fapability of THIS media innovation was fearsome and unmatched.

It is 2018 and ALMOST EVERYONE EVERYWHERE can fap on the internet. In some places ALMOST EVERYONE is fapping on the internet. This tide is not turning so swim upstream if you want to breed.

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 No.13755

>>13739

>>13747

>>13754

We're reaching levels of autism that should be encouraged.

Now we need a drawfag to create a qt3.14 pure no-fap-chan.

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 No.13765

File: 8b517f5ccf82620⋯.jpeg (277.19 KB,1136x2114,568:1057,AB089D71-3D8B-420A-BCF2-1….jpeg)

>>13755

If you insist on a waifu go ahead

but The Cum Can is a menacing cyclops

I hope that’s not your fetish

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 No.13767

File: 24f2376064d34c3⋯.jpeg (31.49 KB,546x546,1:1,5F950599-5796-4FC6-92BC-A….jpeg)

>>13695

Coincidence?

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 No.13791

>>13767

Day 4

The Can is growing stronger.

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 No.13797

Quality content OP, very nice and stay strong.

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 No.13798

>>13797

Also, praise the can.

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 No.13801

>>13798

>>13797

The can thanks you.

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 No.13812

File: 8e3cc78a1c6d37a⋯.jpeg (709.75 KB,2048x2048,1:1,F0441BC6-E327-48B1-961B-D….jpeg)

There are five counters on the altar. One for each of the last five days. As THE CUM CAN gets stronger, so must the containment circle. Five days is the farthest I usually get, but this time feels different.

A test of faith for faith in TEST.

An autumn meme? A thing in jest?

I saw xHamster’s twitter say

“Our viewership is down today

and every day since Hallows Eve!

What made our faggot Anons leave?”

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 No.13841

File: 68eeb97d361e431⋯.jpeg (1.76 MB,4032x3024,4:3,C93B5F5C-DE73-4415-9E98-E….jpeg)

>day 6

For the first time, today was easier than yesterday. The warm electric feeling still reverberates in me, but I have been focusing that energy into my studies and my music. Other than that, I’m going to need new altar candles soon.

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 No.13850

File: 297ae72a6a90650⋯.jpg (21.42 KB,300x299,300:299,one-eyed_iron_helm.jpg)

>>13841

It is called Cum Can, not Cum Cannot!

Keep it up, anon.

Also your Cum Can really reminds me of pic related from Bloodborne.

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 No.13882

File: e280c92f0fbf42d⋯.jpeg (367.2 KB,2045x2046,2045:2046,3A64D72C-48EE-4D02-B665-3….jpeg)

I have failed, and my vital energies have escaped The Cum Can. As such I have made an improvement to the circle and the daily ceremony.

I picked up a pair of holographic Christmas glasses that make points of light look like snowflakes. By repeating the incantation while the flames look like snowflakes, I shall seal the can away behind a wall of ice!

CUM CAN CUM CAN KEEP MY SEED

BRING ME POWR AND FAME AND GREED!

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 No.13898

What do i tell the cum can after my failure?

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 No.13899

>>13898

The Cum Can (seminal vesicle) does not judge. Every man has one. It is a battery whose charge nourishes body and brain, a battery which resists becoming fully charged.

The Cum Can is at once the hero and the villain of our cause.

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 No.13900

Cum Can Cum Can be at rest

ready for a greater quest!

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 No.13911

>>13850

OP here

I should start playing that. I’ve heard good things

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 No.13939

>>13911

The gameplay is good and some bosses are 100% shitwrecking fun, but it has attractive female characters that may make your nofap difficult.

Basically, play it when you will have complete control over yourself. When you will be 100% free from the PMO. Than should gurantee that you won't fail.

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 No.16962

This is the water and this is the well.

Drink full and descend.

The horse is the white of the eyes and black within.

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