No.13680
BEHOLD THE ALTAR OF THE CUM CAN!
(doesn't actually contain cum)
I got sick of people calling nofap a cult so I started a joke cult around it.
Approach the altar? [yes/no]
____________________________
Disclaimer: this post and the subject matter and contents thereof - text, media, or otherwise - do not necessarily reflect the views of the 8kun administration.
No.13682
Maybe with these candles?
I've masturbated many times in a church, but the altar has an alarm in place, so no jizz there.
Disclaimer: this post and the subject matter and contents thereof - text, media, or otherwise - do not necessarily reflect the views of the 8kun administration.
No.13683
hmm, my image of penis-shaped candles didn't make it.
Disclaimer: this post and the subject matter and contents thereof - text, media, or otherwise - do not necessarily reflect the views of the 8kun administration.
No.13688
Are you supposed to cum in the can? Or is it a representation of your cum which you CAN cum, but don't cum because of your will to not cum?
Disclaimer: this post and the subject matter and contents thereof - text, media, or otherwise - do not necessarily reflect the views of the 8kun administration.
No.13695
>>13688
The can represents the seminal vesicle. It is contained with two circles of glass mancalas and candles. The can itself was an improvised weed pipe. When I quit weed I painted it over white and it became The Cum Can. I still smoke weed sometimes but I don’t keep it on me anymore.
Disclaimer: this post and the subject matter and contents thereof - text, media, or otherwise - do not necessarily reflect the views of the 8kun administration.
No.13696
>>13682
>Anon found the jizz alarm
Disclaimer: this post and the subject matter and contents thereof - text, media, or otherwise - do not necessarily reflect the views of the 8kun administration.
No.13698
>>13695
Ok, why does it need an altar? I mean, what are we worshiping here. You need to write some holy texts for us anon.
Disclaimer: this post and the subject matter and contents thereof - text, media, or otherwise - do not necessarily reflect the views of the 8kun administration.
No.13699
Disclaimer: this post and the subject matter and contents thereof - text, media, or otherwise - do not necessarily reflect the views of the 8kun administration.
No.13702
>>13698
We need a nofap-chan who is a pure waifu and wears a chastity belt.
Disclaimer: this post and the subject matter and contents thereof - text, media, or otherwise - do not necessarily reflect the views of the 8kun administration.
No.13711
Disclaimer: this post and the subject matter and contents thereof - text, media, or otherwise - do not necessarily reflect the views of the 8kun administration.
No.13714
>>13711
Its just until she gets married, Anon.
Disclaimer: this post and the subject matter and contents thereof - text, media, or otherwise - do not necessarily reflect the views of the 8kun administration.
No.13716
Disclaimer: this post and the subject matter and contents thereof - text, media, or otherwise - do not necessarily reflect the views of the 8kun administration.
No.13718
>>13716
You may proceed to gas your self, heretic.
Disclaimer: this post and the subject matter and contents thereof - text, media, or otherwise - do not necessarily reflect the views of the 8kun administration.
No.13719
>>13718
chastity belts have no place here, they are nothing but weird fetish shit, regardless if it's a drawing or real.
Disclaimer: this post and the subject matter and contents thereof - text, media, or otherwise - do not necessarily reflect the views of the 8kun administration.
No.13729
>>13719
Seconded, we can’t risk getting anyone’s fetish involved.
Disclaimer: this post and the subject matter and contents thereof - text, media, or otherwise - do not necessarily reflect the views of the 8kun administration.
No.13730
>>13719
Its suppose to be a symbol of purity. We don't want no-fap-chan to be some used up slut, do we?
Disclaimer: this post and the subject matter and contents thereof - text, media, or otherwise - do not necessarily reflect the views of the 8kun administration.
No.13732
>>13698
THE POST OF SAMUEL
In the beginning there was no bandwidth and no service.
EYES and EARS collected the COSMIC POST.
EARS and MOUTHS echoed the COSMIC POST. FINGERS and PAINT scribbled the COSMIC POST.
Then in AD 1844 (checked) SAMUEL FB MORSE strung a telegraph wire from Washington DC to Baltimore and THE FIRST SHITPOST was spake upon it.
.– …. .- - …. .- - …. –. — -.. .– .-. — ..- –. …. - ··–··
Telegraph wires connected city to city, and crossed the oceans.
WAR and PEACE, NEWS and HISTORY, SOY and OATS, all were POSTED through the wire and ALMOST NOBODY fapped to it.
(so endeth THE POST OF SAMUEL)
>>13702
>>13730
No waifus.
Disclaimer: this post and the subject matter and contents thereof - text, media, or otherwise - do not necessarily reflect the views of the 8kun administration.
No.13733
Disclaimer: this post and the subject matter and contents thereof - text, media, or otherwise - do not necessarily reflect the views of the 8kun administration.
No.13735
Disclaimer: this post and the subject matter and contents thereof - text, media, or otherwise - do not necessarily reflect the views of the 8kun administration.
No.13739
Make your own Cum Can:
1. Pick an empty metal can.
2. Rough the surface with sandpaper. You don’t need to remove all of the original paint, but a rougher surface will adhere better to the new coat.
3. Dent one side of the can and poke one hole in the middle of a concave part of the can. This creates the Cum Can’s menacing eye.
4. Spray paint the can white.
5. Surround the can with a circle of candles and surround the circle with other phallic objects.
6. Keep a many-sided die (d8 or higher) to count the number of days on nofap.
Every morning or just when you feel like fapping, follow these steps:
1. Light one candle.
2. Use this candle to light the rest of the containment circle.
3. Speak your rhyming inCANtation, repeat as needed.
4. Move the counter die to your current streak day.
5. Blow out the candles.
You can do these steps as slowly as desired, just don’t burn your house down. Below are some examples of inCANtation. Choose one or make up your own but it has to rhyme or it won’t work.
A. Cum Can Cum Can keep my seed
bring me powr and fame and greed!
B. Cum Can Cum Can keep my spooge
lift my weights and make me huge!
C. Cum Can Cum Can keep my goop
nutrients in constant loop!
D. Cum Can Cum Can keep my smear
that I might slap that bitch’s rear!
Disclaimer: this post and the subject matter and contents thereof - text, media, or otherwise - do not necessarily reflect the views of the 8kun administration.
No.13741
>>13739
Ok now I'm liking this.
Disclaimer: this post and the subject matter and contents thereof - text, media, or otherwise - do not necessarily reflect the views of the 8kun administration.
No.13747
Feel free to post your own Cum Can when you make one
Disclaimer: this post and the subject matter and contents thereof - text, media, or otherwise - do not necessarily reflect the views of the 8kun administration.
No.13749
>>13747
I like your cum can just fine.
Disclaimer: this post and the subject matter and contents thereof - text, media, or otherwise - do not necessarily reflect the views of the 8kun administration.
No.13750
Disclaimer: this post and the subject matter and contents thereof - text, media, or otherwise - do not necessarily reflect the views of the 8kun administration.
No.13754
>>13732
>>13733
In 1876, the telephone surpassed the telegraph accessibility and fapability. Telephone wires connected city to city, and crossed the oceans. WAR and PEACE, NEWS and HISTORY, SOY and OATS, all were conversed about over the wire, and SOMEONE SOMEWHERE was fapping with their ear on the speaker.
In 1894 the modern film projector was invented, far surpassing the telephone in fapability. WAR and PEACE, NEWS and HISTORY, SOY and OATS, all appeared in projected light, but SOMEONE SOMEWHERE was fapping in a darkened room.
In 1976 the first home VHS was released, surpassing film projection in accessibility and ease of use. WAR and PEACE, NEWS and HISTORY, SOY and OATS, all came out on VHS, and SOMEONE EVERYWHERE was fapping to them.
In 1992 the internet began hosting images.
In 1993 the internet began hosting video.
The world had been laced with wire for generations, but the fapability of THIS media innovation was fearsome and unmatched.
It is 2018 and ALMOST EVERYONE EVERYWHERE can fap on the internet. In some places ALMOST EVERYONE is fapping on the internet. This tide is not turning so swim upstream if you want to breed.
Disclaimer: this post and the subject matter and contents thereof - text, media, or otherwise - do not necessarily reflect the views of the 8kun administration.
No.13755
>>13739
>>13747
>>13754
We're reaching levels of autism that should be encouraged.
Now we need a drawfag to create a qt3.14 pure no-fap-chan.
Disclaimer: this post and the subject matter and contents thereof - text, media, or otherwise - do not necessarily reflect the views of the 8kun administration.
No.13765
>>13755
If you insist on a waifu go ahead
but The Cum Can is a menacing cyclops
I hope that’s not your fetish
Disclaimer: this post and the subject matter and contents thereof - text, media, or otherwise - do not necessarily reflect the views of the 8kun administration.
No.13767
Disclaimer: this post and the subject matter and contents thereof - text, media, or otherwise - do not necessarily reflect the views of the 8kun administration.
No.13791
>>13767
Day 4
The Can is growing stronger.
Disclaimer: this post and the subject matter and contents thereof - text, media, or otherwise - do not necessarily reflect the views of the 8kun administration.
No.13797
Quality content OP, very nice and stay strong.
Disclaimer: this post and the subject matter and contents thereof - text, media, or otherwise - do not necessarily reflect the views of the 8kun administration.
No.13798
>>13797
Also, praise the can.
Disclaimer: this post and the subject matter and contents thereof - text, media, or otherwise - do not necessarily reflect the views of the 8kun administration.
No.13801
>>13798
>>13797
The can thanks you.
Disclaimer: this post and the subject matter and contents thereof - text, media, or otherwise - do not necessarily reflect the views of the 8kun administration.
No.13812
There are five counters on the altar. One for each of the last five days. As THE CUM CAN gets stronger, so must the containment circle. Five days is the farthest I usually get, but this time feels different.
A test of faith for faith in TEST.
An autumn meme? A thing in jest?
I saw xHamster’s twitter say
“Our viewership is down today
and every day since Hallows Eve!
What made our faggot Anons leave?”
Disclaimer: this post and the subject matter and contents thereof - text, media, or otherwise - do not necessarily reflect the views of the 8kun administration.
No.13841
>day 6
For the first time, today was easier than yesterday. The warm electric feeling still reverberates in me, but I have been focusing that energy into my studies and my music. Other than that, I’m going to need new altar candles soon.
Disclaimer: this post and the subject matter and contents thereof - text, media, or otherwise - do not necessarily reflect the views of the 8kun administration.
No.13850
>>13841
It is called Cum Can, not Cum Cannot!
Keep it up, anon.
Also your Cum Can really reminds me of pic related from Bloodborne.
Disclaimer: this post and the subject matter and contents thereof - text, media, or otherwise - do not necessarily reflect the views of the 8kun administration.
No.13882
I have failed, and my vital energies have escaped The Cum Can. As such I have made an improvement to the circle and the daily ceremony.
I picked up a pair of holographic Christmas glasses that make points of light look like snowflakes. By repeating the incantation while the flames look like snowflakes, I shall seal the can away behind a wall of ice!
CUM CAN CUM CAN KEEP MY SEED
BRING ME POWR AND FAME AND GREED!
Disclaimer: this post and the subject matter and contents thereof - text, media, or otherwise - do not necessarily reflect the views of the 8kun administration.
No.13898
What do i tell the cum can after my failure?
Disclaimer: this post and the subject matter and contents thereof - text, media, or otherwise - do not necessarily reflect the views of the 8kun administration.
No.13899
>>13898
The Cum Can (seminal vesicle) does not judge. Every man has one. It is a battery whose charge nourishes body and brain, a battery which resists becoming fully charged.
The Cum Can is at once the hero and the villain of our cause.
Disclaimer: this post and the subject matter and contents thereof - text, media, or otherwise - do not necessarily reflect the views of the 8kun administration.
No.13900
Cum Can Cum Can be at rest
ready for a greater quest!
Disclaimer: this post and the subject matter and contents thereof - text, media, or otherwise - do not necessarily reflect the views of the 8kun administration.
No.13911
>>13850
OP here
I should start playing that. I’ve heard good things
Disclaimer: this post and the subject matter and contents thereof - text, media, or otherwise - do not necessarily reflect the views of the 8kun administration.
No.13939
>>13911
The gameplay is good and some bosses are 100% shitwrecking fun, but it has attractive female characters that may make your nofap difficult.
Basically, play it when you will have complete control over yourself. When you will be 100% free from the PMO. Than should gurantee that you won't fail.
Disclaimer: this post and the subject matter and contents thereof - text, media, or otherwise - do not necessarily reflect the views of the 8kun administration.
No.16962
This is the water and this is the well.
Drink full and descend.
The horse is the white of the eyes and black within.
Disclaimer: this post and the subject matter and contents thereof - text, media, or otherwise - do not necessarily reflect the views of the 8kun administration.
