You keep relapsing because you like being horny.
You like sexual fantasies. You like checking out girls asses on the street and thinking about them. When you read that last sentence, you enjoyed the sexual suggestiveness of the idea of looking at girl's asses. You try to force yourself to nofap, but you wallow in your lust. You 'accidentally' see porn, going to /b/ for 'no reason', clicking on lewd images on the chans 'out of curiosity'.
Then you think well, I'll just look at some softcore images because I'm bored. Then some softcore videos, then hardcore… and it's over. You're no longer in a state where you can control yourself, so, overtaken by the lust you've built up, you resign yourself to fapping and starting again. You feel terrible afterwards, but in the moment, it seems like you HAVE to fap. You don't really have a choice. You feel trapped in a cycle.
The key is to not begin the cycle. DON'T FEED THE LUST. These shitty line graphs are here to illustrate how to never fap again. Every upward movement is you getting hornier, every downward movement is you cooling off.
Pic 1 is a cycle leading up to fapping. It could be over a day, week, month etc. You have a horny thought when you wake up. You go to work and can't help but fantasise over your hot coworker, or a hot girl at the coffee place. You wallow in mental pictures of asses and blowjobs. You get home and can't help but look at porn… and then you fail.
Pic 2 is how to control it. We're men and we will always be horny and fantasise about sex to some degree. But the KEY is not to let it go far, and to cool off. You have to actively manage your lust level and keep yourself level-headed. Let the horny thoughts pass you by, don't wallow in them, don't enjoy them. Just accept them and move on. I'm on day 35 ish and I check out girls, but they occupy my mind for a few seconds maximum, and I don't actively fantasise about them- I mentally move on. I've looked at porn every now and then, but each time I've managed to reign in the horniness, and stopped looking after 5 minutes or so. That's a massive change from when I've relapsed before and binged on porn for hours beforehand.
It's a choice. Do you want to succeed, or do you want to enjoy and feed your lust? The true failure doesn't begin with the physical act of fapping, it begins with letting your lust rule you. There will always be some lust, the temptation will NEVER go away, but you can choose to live above it and actively cultivate self control.
