So, 2 years ago when I did nofap, I realized that I really didn't stutter as much and was able to communicate with much more confidence and bravado. It also helped me lose a lot of weight (which I've unfortunately gained back because I quit nofap AND ketosis, 75lbs) my testosterone skyrocketed due to all the meat, onions, seafood and other enhancing meals I've eaten, and my energy levels were through the roof.
I notice that when I DO masturbate, I tend to feel more awkward and anxious the majority of the time, even during the next day. I seldom feel normal again after masturbation, I may have a chemical imbalance.
Though, take note, I have ADHD so that makes some sense to me about re-wiring my brain; speaking of ADHD, nofap is harder for me compared to others, but I've managed to do it at least, since when I masturbate, I tend to try to "Drain" myself, meaning that fapping once doesn't help at all, and I NEED to masturbate until I can't get erect. I've done this since I was 9, which I feel might have hindered my development and might have contributed to my ADHD, I did used to eat a lot of junk as well and no foods with healthy androgen and testosterone inhibitors, I grew up with a single mother and let me tell you, she was NOT a nutritionist in the slightest. I became emasculated, very hairy, strangely enough.
It truly, honestly did take a huge fucking toll on my self confidence, to the point that when I try to do something productive, I hate myself, get anxious, cringe, wince, and quit like a beta– this could be anything from martial arts, drawing, cooking, programming, basically anything extracurricular, my brain goes haywire and I INSTANTLY go into a state of depersonalization and lose track of everything, it all becomes a huge fucking blur and I go into a blank. It's really done a number on me in learning useful skills and networking, and knocked me down the socioeconomic ladder.
I found a partner that I'll be meeting soon, so sexual intercourse might help mitigate any type of "Guilt" (Read: Frustration and chemical imbalances) in terms of how my body takes climaxing.
Using a fleshlight slowly and in a good satisfying, thorough pattern, thrusting my hips even, instead of rapid and furiously, trying to climax the fastest way possible, helps me. There are times depending on how I stroke, that ejaculating doesn't give me the anxiety that masturbation by hand usually does, it seems my entire glands is stimulated, instead of a single part, and ejecting the cum out during climax doesn't feel strained, but rather more natural, and my prostate doesn't feel sore, and I've gotten better at it, might be due to how the fleshlight is built and the properties emulating a vagina, so it might be good for rewiring my brain on stabilizing what masturbation should be, but regardless, I want to only use that for edging so I can use my pump/bathmate, then I can have harder, stronger erections during sex, instead of using my hand.
Anyways, hoping I can entertain myself with hobbies and activities when I take my medication, doing ketosis back then, which are the 2 years ago I mentioned, has been the only method that's made me lose weight, and made me feel great with a dash of confidence to boot.
I'm trying to get back on all of that, and really get a hold of myself, controlling my life and knowing what I put in my body and how I regulate it, and how to follow an organized schedule, since I'm a fucking mess.
Unfortunately, my ADHD gives me low blood pressure as well, so I'm actually FORCED to do this now, along with supplements for the extra energy my body can't produce to keep me going throughout the day. Carbs fuck me up, no matter what I do, I get shaky and anxiety hits REALLY bad, to the point that exercising is damn near impossible because I get so catatonic and out of breath extremely quick due to said anxiety, so low carb is the only way for me.
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