40083e No.380623 [Last50 Posts]
This is a thread for Writefags to tell a story describing a first date with a monstergirl waifu:
For example -
- who/what was she?
- how did they meet?
- how did they get the date?
- how was the date itself?
- what was the aftermath?
etc.
____________________________
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b624b7 No.380624
>>380623
>What was the aftermath?
When would the answer be anything but marriage?
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40083e No.380625
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40083e No.380626
>>380625
I want one human son and one monster daughteru
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e14986 No.380627
>>380626
>not enough kids to single handedly flip the voting in your area
Get on my level
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cfc479 No.380630
>>380626
>Limiting your wife to 2 children
You're one sick fuck.
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34f08c No.380631
>>380626
>only wanting two kids
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40083e No.380636
>>380627
>>380630
>>380631
I get it, joke's old now guys
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51bbe7 No.380642
>I work from home at weird hours so it has always been somewhat difficult to go out and meet new people.
>besides it's hot as balls outside living in the armpit of the South.
>life as a net isn't so bad I have alot of time to waste painting my overpriced pieces of plastic and resin.
>as great as working from home is there is a problem if you're not the tidiest person at the best of times.
>to put in bluntly I need to clean my room.
>Somehow I can always find an excuse for myself to do something else instead.
>This goes on for long enough
>I'm tired of this. it's time to change, also i finished painting my custodes so that's no longer an excuse.
>have a narrative event at LGS after work, I'll go to the local book store outlet and pick up that lobster girls books.
>I hear she is quite good at personality tests and teaching you about cleaning your room, the cover also said there was some advice on hygiene
>not that I'm lacking but a few tips and tricks can never hurt.
>be at event, a big crowd with players I've never had the chance of meeting before.
>play with some local friends his aunubis wife making sure his space Egyptians are always perfectly rank and file, a nice kobold playing space kobold with lots of kobold kobold.
>the last game I have for the day is against a shy looking shoggoth a shyggoth if you will.
>her glasses constantly shifting slightly, her many yellow eyes shifting around avoiding eye contact as much as possible, her hoodie pulled up as tight as it could go on a slime.
>we start to set our armies my elite body guards to the empress and her daughter's of morticia.
>the irony was palpable a "maid species" playing a faction centered around plague rust and other things associated with a general state of disrepair, and a pretty unclean and organized person like myself playing the maid guards to the empress.
>I think she found it funny when I pointed it out her chuckle was the first "human" reaction i got out of her.
>the battle was grand the terrain a perfect fit, a ruin painted to be like a marble palace.
>I can break her introverted exterior by getting into it a bit.
>"Vile mutants we shall cleanse your filth!" Thank the gods I made my charge roll. She blushes at every time I give an outburst a little to loud in a bad accent.
<"…i will spread my unclean corruption across the universe… fall now" her voice barley above a whisper as her variety of guns with plague related puns goug out sections of my force.
>the game is so evenly matched, probably because we are both goofing off instead of getting serous but that's besides the point.
>she had been using her phone for the rules and didn't notice her battery was going to die.
>rip phone and the pace of the game as she tries to rember the profile of her army offhand.
>normally I don't like to share books or my tablet but we are having such a good time I don't want it to end.
>"I have all the codexs as a pdf on my tablet let me get it out of my bag." I give her a wink.
>A smooth operator.
>a operator that should have paid attention to his bag instead of winking as the contents spill all over the floor.
>she is on the ground with me a within my personal bubble in the blink of an eye helping pick everything up, wrappers, loose paper, my tablet, and the new book I picked up today.
<…jordyn Peterson? You know she doesn't clean her own room right?"
>"…uhm I uh mhm no I was not aware.:
<"…d-do y-you need help cleaning your room?" Her breath audibly getting heavier.
<"don't listen to that skank… I can clean your room if you know… would like that." Her purple biomass erupting into a colidiscope of hues ranging from magenta to cherry blossom pink.
>"I don't know… It's pretty embarrassing to have anyone see it, you're such a cute girl I don't want to embarrass my self in front of you." I answered meekly.
>at the word cute her many eyes all shot towards me for the first time all making eye contact at the same time
>she leans in to the point where almost in skin to slime contact. Ive never been this close to a women before and start to sweat a bit
<she takes a long deep sniff as of my dead skin was a line of blow and whispers
< "… I-i'll also clean your p-p-penis"
>I think we called the game a draw as both of us won in the end.
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51bbe7 No.380643
>>380636
Procreation is no joke.
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b624b7 No.380651
>>380625
Naturally
>>380626
>only two and not two ten's
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b624b7 No.380654
>>380636
>He thinks the blessing of many children is a joke and mocking modern sterility and dire birth rates is stupid
The only joke here is you bud, and it ain't funny.
>>380642
I love me some cute shyggoths. Good greentext and I would like more if you have the time. By the way, the plural for "codex" is "codices", not "codexes". Blame the Norman French for fucking up our spelling rules.
>she takes a long deep sniff as of my dead skin was a line of blow and whispers
It seems like your shoggoth keyboard orgasmed and messed up the key order for a moment.
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871fd3 No.380655
>>380642
>Annubutt plays 'crons
You think it's cause she's Egyptian. It's actually cause she like to win.
>Jordyn Peterson
>Doesn't clean her own room
This killed me. Stephanie Crowder:
<"It's not rape if you're both screaming. Change my mind."
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871fd3 No.380656
It's not about what you want, now is it?
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c7036a No.380658
>>380654
I'll have a word with her about it, and I'll deffianlty have some more shyggoth sometime latter.
>Codices
We need to just go full Anglish at this point.
>>380656
Are you ok friend?
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53b789 No.380666
The only time I considered my waifu and I on a date was when she made some lunch one time. I was only 3/4 through until she pounced.
I'm gonna play it safe and spoiler the image since I don't know how /monster/ feel about gator girls
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cf81b1 No.380668
>>380666
>I don't know how /monster/ feel about gator girls
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53b789 No.380669
>>380668
You know exactly what I meant
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dd1a85 No.380670
>>380666
>tfw live in Florida
>never liked gator girls because their legs looked like a gator's maw
>deathly afraid of being murdered by them
Seeing that picture hath given me a might need. I'm going to be diving in the Everglades naked when the DOTR comes.
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a4749d No.380679
>>380670
>DOTR happens
>man in Florida jumps in gator infested lake
>is eaten
no one knows why he did it
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dd1a85 No.380680
>>380679
My dick will be eaten by their vaginas if I have anything to say about it.
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a4749d No.380682
>>380680
>>380680
hey Steve
thought you were dead
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606101 No.380683
>>380670
I thought you got arrested last time.
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5fb7ea No.380684
>Be level something or other fighter.
>Just came back from dungeon crawling.
>Cashed in loot and got reward for slaying some faggot that squatted innadungeon.
>Bah, who cares about details. I gots money to burn.
>As is custom for murderhobos after a crawl, head to the tavern for ale and whores.
>Never actually fucked a whore before. Usually was too drunk or was booted out for some bullshit.
>The douchebag rogue encouraged me to. Even gave me double thumbs up in between his punchable face.
>What a guy. I'll have to remember to kick his ass later for that prank back on the third floor.
>Still, he has a point. I should fuck a whore.
>Boot open the door to the tavern and boom out "Feast and drink wenches! I require sustenence and cozy tit pillows."
>Get a usual reply of "Go fuck yourself, asshole."
>Ah, the friendlyness of a tavern. It's really the same no matter where you go.
>You chuckle to yourself and plop down at a table.
>A catgirl wench brings you a pint of ale and takes your order but sadly gets out of reach of you trying to playfully slap her rear.
>You take a hearty swig of your ale when you notice something unusual.
>You have a table companion.
>Oh wow, this is a first.
>Looks like one of them onis. The ones from the land of moving picture books. You heard they like booze. You like booze too.
>Maybe you can be friends. Does she like whores as well?
>"Hallo miss red horny lady. What brings you to my table."
<"My, a big shot like you looks like quite the interesting person. What do you say to playing a little game."
>"Oh boy oh boy, I like games. Lemme tell you though, I never lost a game of shadow puppet fight before."
<"What? I mean, how about a drinking contest. We both put bets down and whoever deinks the most wins the money."
>"Sure, I like drinking."
<"Thought you'd might. How about we bet thirty gold coins?"
>"Gee, thirty is a lot. Almost all I have. I was hoping to have some money for whores too."
<"If you win, you'd have sixty coins. Enough for twice as many whores. I'll even let you cop a feel on me. How's that?" she says as she slowly opens up her chest armor for me to see those nice ti-oh damnit she closed it. The tease.
>"Fine, you're on pretty lady."
>We called some of them wenches over and a crowd started forming up around us. Looks like some folks were betting too. Betting is fun.
>One drink.
>Two drinks.
>Five drinks.
>Seven drinks. This is fun. The oni lady is fun.
>Ten drinks. Hehehehe. Fun fun fun.
>Fifteen drinks. Pretty oni lady looks to be having fun too. Hahaha. Oh hey, my rogue buddy and the wizard came to visit. I kindly excuse myself to give him a friendly punch like good buddies do.
>Oh wait. That wasn't my rogue buddy.
>Some things happened that I don't really remember. It was really fun though.
>Ahhh fuck. My head hurts.
>Where am I?
>Why is there straw around
>Why am I naked?
>Who is this naked girl next to me?
>Oh, it's the nice oni from yesterday. Wait does that mean you two did it? Is she a whore. She doesn't seem like one.
>And that's how I met my girlfriend. It's like a whore, but better. I even heard they can level up to wife which is way better.
>Oh and the wizard is angry becuase I caused a bar fight which led to the tavern burning down. Details, schmetails. I got a girlfriend.
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53b789 No.380685
>>380679
>man in Florida
>not Florida man
You had one job
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648cdf No.380692
>>380626
I want as many children as we can afford
>>380666
No snout, so you're in the clear.
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13dbf3 No.380696
>>380692
It's always money before family with you oni types. Anyways I hope your wife can find a investor for her brewery.
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648cdf No.380698
>>380696
>not wanting to provide a good quality of life for your children
Don't be a nigger.
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13dbf3 No.380699
>>380698
The love of a large family that spends time together is greater than the amount of items you can give them.
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93e52f No.380700
>>380642
>some advice on hygiene
nice
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648cdf No.380701
>>380699
having to make do with hand me downs is one thing, I'm talking about having so many kids that they start going hungry.
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13dbf3 No.380702
>>380701
Thats fair enough.
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035a21 No.380705
>>380666
Not really a furry
Unless she has gator-aids or something
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5fb7ea No.380706
>going on a date
>not sitting at home by yourself, drinking, and shitposting
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1bd0f1 No.380708
>>380706
I can see you’re aiming for a devilbug harem.
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ff68d5 No.380710
>Be me
>Just your average everyday high schooler
>That goes to a mostly insect monster girl school
>That wouldn't be so bad if the insect girls didn't act like their counterparts
>I.E. the wasp girls are fucking bitches who always bully anyone smaller than them, and jump those who are bigger
>Speaking of wasp girls
<"Hey, Anon, come over here and take a look at this!"
>Fuck me, it's Meryl the biggest bitch out of all the yellow jackets
>Meryl then plants a cup with a wasp in it on my arm
>I try to pull free, but thanks to her lackeys and the fact that each of them have the proportional strength of a wasp and fours arms each, I might as well be tied up more than a guy "voluntarily" donating blood to a vampire
>The wasp lands on my skin and just seems to be enjoying itself
<"C'mon, do something!"
>Meryl shakes the bottle and this sufficiently pisses it off
>It begins to sting me like a hellhound would shank you for a 40
>Thankfully I'm not allergic, because if I was I would've died a helluva long time ago, hell with all the times I've been stung I've built up a resistance
>Eventually one of the only students with the ovaries to stand up to Meryl crashes the party
>Rachael the only oomukade that isn't home schooled or such a social outcast to the level that they take notes from the rafters
>And of course my childhood friend
>Or that's what she likes to think, she never even talked to me till 9th grade
>Before that she always just stood awkwardly close to me and always sat next to me on the bus, or in the classroom
>Rachael goes about injecting Meryl and the rest of her swarm with enough venom to put a wight in a stupor
>Rachael is quick to tear the cup from my arm crushing it in her hand along with the wasp
"Uh, Rachael?"
>She then hugs me wrapping her centipede half around me and then takes notice of my arm
<"Oh my god! Anon, we need to get you to the nurse right away"
"Actually, Rachael it doesn't really hurt but we should probably-"
>She ignores me and drags me to the nurses office
<"Stupid bitch, how dare she and her whores bully you like that. Some ought to teach them a lesson"
<"And you need to stop leaving my sight, I don't trust any of the girls here, they all just want to abuse you or steal you away from me"
"What was the last part?"
<"N-nothing!"
>When we get to the nurse's nobody's home
<"Anon, we gotta do something quick! Quick let me suck the venom out"
>I grab both of Rachael's shoulders and shake some sense into her
"Rachael! I'm not allergic!"
<"B-but…"
"But look at your hand"
>I grab her by the wrist and show her, her own glass punctured hand
>Her face goes red, then starts growing paler
<"A-anon, I don't feel so good"
>She falls into my arms and I take it upon myself to remove all the glass from her hand then patch her up
>Luckily she didn't pass out, or unluckily if you considering how painful it is to dig glass out
>Just as I finish up and bandage her hand Rachael suddenly grows redder and redder
"Hey, Rachael, you al-"
<"Anon, are you doing anything later!?"
>She blurts out like a child tattling on their older sibling
"Are you asking me out on a date?"
>She takes a few deep breathes calming herself down and channeling her inner stacy
<"Y-yeah, we could study and… stuff"
"Well, we live right next to each other, sure thing"
>Just as I leave the nurses' office I hear the fanfare of Rachael screaming into the pillow
>The day goes by normal, besides never seeing Rachael or Meryl the rest of the day
>Which is quite strange considering they both share all of my classes
>I head straight to Rachael's house
>Door is locked and all the blinds are closed
>I know her mother is a shut in, but she just texted me her parents aren't home
>Was that just for the meme or was she actually serious
>Just as pull out my phone Rachael opens the door
>She looks disheveled and tired
<"Hey, Anon, I was wondering when you were going to show up"
"How's your hand-"
<"It's fine. Now how about you follow me downstairs?"
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ff68d5 No.380711
>>380710
>Follow an oomukade into her basement
>What could go wrong
<"Here, you go first"
>At least I'm going to get raped by someone who isn't a complete rando
>As I reach the bottom of the stairs the lights turn on and I see Meryl tied to a chair and gagged
"WHAT THE FUCK"
<"Ta-da~ I decided to kidnap this bitch so you can get payback for what she did to you"
>Judging from the bruises Rachael put in a little of her own "payback"
>I knew I should've just went home and shitposted instead
>I try to untie Meryl, only for her to start panicking as she looks behind me
"Let me guess: she has a knife"
>Meryl nods maddeningly
>I turn around and see Rachael brandishing a kitchen knife, tears staining her eyes
<"So you side her her, huh? Do I mean that little to you that-"
>Well time to speed this date along
>I act fast and grab her wrists then pull her into a kiss
"I came lookin' for booty"
<"Anon, why did yo-"
"I'll give you a choice, we can do this the easy way or the hard way, the choice is yours"
<"Let me go, I-I won't be lied-"
"I guess were doing it the hard way"
>Hours later and having more oomukade venom in my veins than blood and I hear Rachael's mom calling us up for breakfast
>I untie Meryl, who joins us for breakfast, she just eats her waffles with a thousand yard stare
>That was one hell of a first date
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b44e6a No.380712
>>380711
I wish there were more stories where yanderes are defeated by the mc simply being sexually forward with her.
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e45891 No.380713
>>380712
Truly the fetish of patricians
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369bda No.380716
>>380710
Yanpede getting a lot more love as they deserve recently, top notch work.
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e465ff No.380753
>>380710
>>380712
Imagine a wasp girl yandere, how the fuck would someone survive that
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871fd3 No.380762
>>380713
>Fucking the crazy right out of a yandere MG
God-Tier fetish
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871fd3 No.380765
>>380753
What kind of wasp are we talking about here?
Something big and nasty like a Giant Asian Hornet?
Something even bigger and scarier looking but totally harmless like a Cicada-Killer?
Something small and nasty like a Yellow Jacket?
Some in between like a Bald-Faced Hornet?
Something dark and deadly like a Tarantula Hawk?
Would be funnier if it was a Carpenter Bee. Big and clumsy, constantly doing home improvements to your house trying to earn your affection.
Viciously remodeled your kitchen when you got partnered with that Kiki in class for that school project.
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c8d1e3 No.380766
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791b67 No.380771
>>380765
Giant Asian hornet
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0550ea No.380777
How would one go about having a first date with a Lilim?
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4de63d No.380779
>>380777
by going to the grocery store and buying a trash bag to put her in
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448810 No.380780
>>380777
I kind of feel like she'd be dragging you around places. What with being a princess and all.
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ff68d5 No.380786
>Be me
>High schooler anon
>Oomukade mom kisses me on the cheek as I leave for school
>Dad and mom wave me off for the first day of the junior year
>Even my creepy neighbor wasp girl gives me a wave as I pass by her house
>First class and teacher is guy
>I'm honestly surprised he isn't getting amazon'd in the storage room by the new ushi-oni janitor
>While waiting for class to start I overhear about an exchange student
>Everyone seems scared because she's apparently a wasp girl and from the stories I've heard from my dad I would be afraid to
>But I'm not a total pussy so I'll kick her ass like the time I beat up that bumble-bee girl for renovating my locker
>Still the honey was good though
>Teach settles the class down as he starts introducing the new girl
>"Hello class, today we have a new student who comes from overseas"
>The girl who walks in looks like my neighbor, but…
>She a complete womanlet
>"Young miss, why don't you introduce yourself"
<"H-hello my name is Ceri"
>"Why don't you tell us a little about yourself and what you do in your spare time"
<"Well… I like gardening and-"
"What!? I can't hear you!"
>I get up out of my chair walk closer to her while cupping my ear
<"I said-"
"You're gonna have to speak up, cause I can't hear you! Besides what kind of monster even are you?"
>"Mr. Anon Jr. I take a seat right this-"
"Fuck you, teach, the only reason you can't get laid is because everyone knows you're gonna alp anyways"
>Teach is completely red faced as he storms out of the classroom
>"That's it! I'm getting the principle"
>I take a seat on the desk
"So what the fuck are you?"
<"I'm a wasp"
>GeorgeConstanza.jpg
"No, for real what are you?"
<"I told you: I. Am. A. Wasp"
>I just can't take her seriously
>I burst out into treats as I roll on the teach's desk trying not to die from laughter
"You, a wasp!? But you don't even have an inch of yellow on you, and your so tiny, even the freshmans are taller than you"
>I see tears welling up in her eyes as principle Nala opens the door dragging us both down to her office
>Damn who knew khepris were so strong
>Miss Nala throws us into the comfy office chairs in front of her desk then starts grilling me
<"Mr. Anon I knew your father, and he wasn't half the trouble maker you are!"
"But he's like thirty, and your still single? How old even are you?"
>Miss Nala's face goes red
<"That's it young man!"
>Miss Nala pulls out a pair of handcuffs
>I did not plan on losing my virginity this way
>Then places then on my wrist and Ceri's wrist also
<"Now you two will have to get along"
>Ceri looks visibly distressed
<"B-but principle Nala, he started it!"
<"I don't care who started it, this is a no tolerance for bullying school"
<"But he was the one that was bullying me. He even said I wasn't a wasp"
>Miss Nala looks visibly confused
<"You are?"
>Ceri angrily stands up out of her chair and drags me out with her
<"C'mon lets get back to class"
>Morning classes go normally except that I hear snickers from other students and even a few teachers
>I even remark back about how were dating much to Ceri's chagrin
>Lunch time rolls around and we decide to share a lunch, since she didn't want to wait in line
"So what do we got for lunch, honey?"
<"Don't call me that and turn around"
"Why? Afraid your mom left a note to call her when you finally manage to talk to a boy"
<"No it's just… I don't want you asking me to share"
>I grab the lunch bag from her and hold it above her
<"Give me back my bag you bastard!"
"Make me"
>I put on the most cheshire grin I can
>Then I get promptly tackled into the table by Ceri
>She straddle my waist and starts trying to tear the paper bag from my grip
>But I hold fast and the bag gives up before either of us do
>A shower of fig newtons and their prospective boxes shower over me like a like a mermaid getting a white shower from her hubby
>Ceri's face go red as she slumps off of me and into a chair trying to hide her shame
"Well, I mean, I like fig newtons too but…"
>Wait a second
>She's a wasp
>And she likes fig flavored product
>In that moment I sit up from the newtons that are spread around me and realize in that moment the terrible truth of Ceri
>I stand up on table molted by newfound knowledge, my head throbbing from the whining that Ceri's wings are producing
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ff68d5 No.380787
"YOU'RE A FIG WASP"
<"YES AND WHAT IF I AM?"
"Nothing really… unless you count that you're the most sissified version of any wasp ever!"
>I laugh as Ceri drags me and the fig newtons out of the lunch room and into a closet
"Oh boy the rape closet, are you even strong enough to tear off my pants?"
<"I'm not. But she is"
>Miss Meryl from next door walks through the door, then notices me and instantly turns around
<"Sorry, niece, but I'm not dealing that crazy bitch's kid, you're on your own"
>Ceri just stares dumbfounded that her ace in the hole just fucked her over
>Just like how I'm about to do now
>I push her onto a section of wrestling mats and start undoing my pants
"You know, I always had a thing for small girls"
<"Then why don't you go bother the Sabbath"
"Because I like lithe girls not children"
>I spend the rest of the day pursuing degeneracy in it's most basest form namely handholding and missionary position
>Eventually the school day comes to an end and Miss Nala uncuffs us
>Just as I'm about to get on the bus Ceri stops me
<"Anon, I was wondering if you would like to come by sometime"
"What was that?"
<"I said-"
"Relax I heard you the first time, I'm just fucking with you"
>I hop off the bus and walk home with her
>Making sure to hold hands all the way to her home so she can show me her fig trees
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40083e No.380799
First date with Alice.
arranged by her cheshire friend as just a playdate (with a wink)
drinking tea and eating cake.
she made it all for me.
playing house with dolls.
she confesses via dolls because she's too shy to do it herself.
everything else we do together is put in the form of one children's game or another.
Red Queen attacks after I upset her by some trivial and possibly imagined action that she happened to take offense to (off with his trousers!)
Alice eats cookie/mushroom to grow big, beats the shit out of her army to protect me, drinks/eats the drink/mushroom to grow small again when trouble disappears.
it's naptime, we'll be napping together.
(lewdness redacted)
she's pregnant the next day
first of many children
all in all, a very enjoyable time.
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035a21 No.380800
>The portals opened a few.weeks ago, and we had started accepting immigration applications the next day, clearing any Monster Girl who asked for paperwork.
>Yeah, they take our jobs, but the also take us if we lay off on the sex for two months.
>I'm at an airsoft field showing of my aks74 build.
>Seeing a lot of lizardmen today
>Why the hottest girls I've ever seen call themselves "lizardMEN" eludes me
>One of them with an ak12
>Wait there's only two ak12s in airsoft.
>The $800 one built in the asheves plant
>the other is a crappy lpeg
>Oh @#$& someone's in for a bad time.
>Game time
>Lpeg girl is on other team
>I'm almost spawn camping her the whole time
>I can see the .2s hit the ground in front of her
>One time she evades my fire into a building
>I hear a 40 Mike grenade in the building
>She walks out clutching the remains of her rifle
>A guy with a grenade launcher is also escorted out
>She moved towards the safe zone
>I call myself out and catch up to her
“Hey, don't feel bad, you are not doing that bad, it's just your gun”
<“A weapon does not make the warrior*
“But you can't chop down a tree with a dull ax…”
>I point to the busted rifle
“And that thing is about as dull an ax as you can get”
< “I don't suppose you have a ‘sharper ax’ I can use?”
“Sure. I got a spare rifle, an akm, metal gear box, shoots 370-380. Perfect for this field”
>We talk some more. Turns out she needs to find a “worthy opponent” in a sword fight to find a mate
>Swords are banned in this state, so her family needed to look towards… alternative competitions.
>We go back into the field on the next game.
>She's a quick study, by the end of the game we were pretty evenly matched.
>I noticed a wet spot between her legs after the game
“Uh, did you bring a change of pants, you peed yourself”
>She leans in close, arms wrapped around me.
<”That's not pee, husband”
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3847bd No.380803
>>380800
Very cute. I could definitely see lizard girls and salamanders mlaying airsoft…
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e35f46 No.380834
>>380800
>@#$&
>space between every line
What purpose?
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b80fe5 No.380873
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40083e No.381008
>>380873
it makes the entire thing much easier to read IMO
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159e36 No.381009
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1bd0f1 No.381011
>>381009
I phonepost. There's literally no reason to do any of that bullshit.
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035a21 No.381013
>>380834
Okay, fine, I'll single space it next time.
Any other recommendations?
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1439ce No.381019
>>381013
Ignore that faggot. Use spacing if you want to. Some people just like sucking their own dicks and pointing out, 'muh reddit spacing' really gets 'em hard as diamonds. Of course, there is a line limit on posts, and spaced lines count towards that. I've run up against it on really long green texts, and you'll have half as many to work with if you space. That faggot should be grateful for the OC on this slow ass board, not busting your balls so he can get hard to his own sense of superiority.
>inb4 just trying to help
No, faggot, if all you wanted to do was help the guy, you could have been polite about it.
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de5276 No.381021
>>381013
>>381019
I've always been a fan of using the empty lines in greentexts the same way you would use it in regular text: to seperate coherent blocks. Just like how you use indentation (MLA, APA) or newlines to create whitespace between paragraphs. In that case the whitespace indicates a shift in tone, location, perspective, chronology, etc. just as new paragraphs in normal text denote some kind of section break.
I think this is a nice medium between an extra carriage return for every line, which feels a little busy to me, and the all too common "wordswordswords" wall o' text which scorns whitespace. Of course, your preferences may differ.
If you want a real fight we can talk about the Oxford comma. Let the /monster/ writing style guide wars begin!
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34f08c No.381024
>>381021
people who don’t use oxford commas are weird. A lack of commas creates too much confusion and ambiguity. A phrase such as:
“The letter was addressed to my two siblings, James and Timothy.”
Can be understood as either being addressed to their siblings as well as James and Timothy , and is therefore written to four different people OR it could be understood as being addressed to his siblings, who are James and Timothy, which means the letter is only addressed to two different people. But if you add a comma before the coordinating conjunction like so:
“The letter was addressed to my two siblings, James, and Timothy.”
You clear the confusion and make it clear that it is addressed to four different individuals, Rather than just two.
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bbeb7f No.381121
>writing style argument
Wouldn't the writefag thread be better for this discussion? And it's a worthy one to have, don't get me wrong.
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40083e No.381144
Can we get back onto the subject matter of the thread now?
Keep your position on "Reddit Spacing" to yourselves from now on, and give me more first date stories.
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1504ff No.381170
>>381024
The majority of sentences made ambiguous by the presence (or lack thereof) of the Oxford comma were poorly phrased and shouldve been recipes.
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035a21 No.381171
>>381170
>Should have been recipies.
Whose story are you talking about? Food preparation wasn't even in any of the stories.
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91ce69 No.381200
>>380765
A group of slender pettanko Yellow Jacket girls constantly bullying you for your food and invading your BBQ.
They wear actual yellow jackets like a girl gang and zip around fast.
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6c9418 No.381202
>>381171
I think he meant to type rephrased.
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82829c No.381271
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537fe4 No.381278
>>381271
Yeah that picture in the op was pretty nice.
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a9cfa9 No.381280
>>381271
>>381278
>when_you_see_it.png
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537fe4 No.381283
>>381280
Ah ok not sure about the point of it but you are correct.
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606101 No.381331
>>381271
>mfw it's November 30th and someone says Christmas is soon
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035a21 No.381335
>>381331
This thread was started the twelfth, whom are you referring to?
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606101 No.381336
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53b789 No.381338
>>381283
Look at the dude in the top panel, leftmost guy
Compare the two now
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abd6dc No.381342
>>380623
I don't know who the short one with the giant pitcher is, but I'm suddenly very interested in getting to know her.
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de5276 No.381353
>>381200
> your parents moved to the insect forest zone after they got married
> the land was cheap
> the neighbors are weird, but usually nice
> mostly insect monsters, obviously, with a smattering of other sylvan types
> there's a nice elf lady who likes to visit your mom and sew with her
> friendly deer centaur girl who gave all you kids rides when you were small enough
> your human best friend lives next door in his dryad mom's tree
> everything is pretty calm and pleasant
> or it would be if it weren't for the fucking yellow jackets
> turns out the land was cheap because nobody wants to live next to a crowded neighborhood of loud rednecks
> it's jug band music, moonshinin', and hootenannies 24/7 with those people
> they're always building things and abandoning them to rot after they get bored
> can't go for a hike without stumbling across the shell of a log cabin or a half built trebuchet
> the worst is the groups of young girls always zipping around in chaotic swarms
> they tend to calm down a bit after they get a man but before that forget it
> they're constantly fighting in crazy internecine conflicts which make no sense to outsiders
> groups with names like "The Golden Supreme Wizards" fight gangs like "The Screaming Death Wings" for territory and glory
> when they aren't doing that they're snooping around in everyone's business looking for 'filthy bee infiltrators'
> you'd hate them all if it wasn't for the girl next door
> her mom's kind of an outcast
> she apparently lost a fight to a bunch of bees a long time ago and mellowed out a lot, especially after her sweetheart rescued her from what sounds like a pretty sapphic experience
> doesn't fit in too well with the other yellow jackets anymore
> Bzz'kzzt'k took after her mother and was a kind, bookish girl
> (you usually refuse to pronounce that stupid buggy jibber jabber and just call her 'Lemonade', much to her irritation)
> spent a lot of lazy days happily playing with her
> you were pretty sweet on her
> once
> "Stay close Big Brother!"
> laugh and pat your little sister's head
> she's been walking you to school every day for a while now
> it's cute how she's so determined to protect you, even if she probably couldn't do much against a determined monster
> you just wish she didn't have good reason to be concerned
> as a virgin boy you're never really 'safe' from monster girls, but some times are worse than others
> around the age of high school graduation (barely legal boys!)
> late college age (for the sophisticates)
> 25 (desperately lonely Christmas Cake monster girls are almost unstoppable)
> you've heard horror stories of legendary 'wizard' monster girls and their terrible drive to claim a spouse but you aren't sure you believe them
> the punchline is that you're prime bait for monster girls right now and the forest seethes with their practically tangible lust
> speak of the devil, you hear the distinctive drone of insect wings
> in a twinkling you're surrounded by leering wasps
> your little sister steps in front of you protectively, "Buzz off, you damn nigger bees!"
> this elicits barks of derisive laughter, and one of them steps forward
> she's wearing the bright yellow leather jacket of an "Outlaw Doom Queen" and a confident sneer
> "What the heck do you want, Lemonade?" your little sister snarls
> Bzz'kzzt'k seems a little taken aback, whether from the old nickname or your sister's fierce demeanor you can't tell
> unfortunately she came prepared and starts to fiddle with a lighter, flicking it open and closed, occasionally stopping to look at the flame
< "What's the matter half pint? Can't I stop to talk to an old friend?"
> your little sister involuntarily shrinks back in fear
> when she bumps into you she instinctively hugs you, seeking comfort
< "Now why don't you be quiet and let the grown ups talk?"
> Bzz'kzzt'k looks at you the way a fat man on a diet looks at a grilled steak
< "The big barbecue's coming up. You're going to invite me as your date. Be sure to dress nice. It's gonna be real romantic."
> she turns and mugs for her fellow Doom Queens
< "Just make sure you pick an outfit that's easy to get out of!"
> they all laugh like it's the funniest joke in the world
> this is bullshit
> you try to comfort your sister as quiet rage burns in your heart
> you don't say anything
> you just coldly stare at your ex childhood friend
> when you were frightened as a child your Dad would always encourage you by joking that you have your mother's eyes, and that she has pretty scary eyes
> maybe he was right because Bzz'kzzt'k can't meet your gaze again
< "Haha, yeah well, don't forget. You're taking ME, boy."
> there's a whoosh of air and you're alone with your sister again
> fucking yellow jackets
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de5276 No.381354
>>381353
> no matter how much you try to cheer her up your little sister is still glum when you get to school
> it's only natural for her to be afraid of fire but she reacted like a little kid and she's ashamed
> wish she wouldn't be
> don't grow up too fast lil sis…
> you best friend immediately sees how she's upset and guesses why
> or at least who
> he slams his fist into his palm, "Just say the word man. I'll get some people together to end this bullshit."
> he used to be kind of pudgy but ever since he started carrying his greenworm girlfriend everywhere he's really bulked up
> she keeps getting bigger and he keeps getting stronger
> "Tempting offer, but I have a plan. If you want to help there is something your girlfriend could get for me though."
> the caterpillar perched on his shoulders stops munching a head of lettuce long enough to give you a curious look
> you smile and ruffle your sister's hair, "Of course the most important part of the plan is Little Sis here."
> pretty good to see how excited and special that makes her feel
> this is a nice spot
> massive gnarled trees form a thick canopy far above your head
> it's dark and cool at ground level with little underbrush
> you feel pretty comfortable here, even if most people would experience a vague sense of dread
> not too many would be sharp enough to realize why
> you hear buzzing
> the Doom Queens are right on time
> about to find out how sharp they really are
< "I got your letter Anon. Nice to see you're finally starting to understand your place in the world."
> you smirk, "I lied in the letter. I wanted to see just how gullible you 'Dumb Queans' are."
> the buzzing stops
> might have actually surprised them with that
> wait till they see what comes next
> "I figured it would be pretty safe to jerk you around. Everybody knows yellow jackets are all talk."
> you think you can hear their teeth grinding from here
> "But to think you'd honestly believe I'd want to get with a nigger bee…"
< "GET HIM!"
> that did it
> you effortlessly leapfrog out of the way, climbing with shocking speed
> you've always been able to tell the sticky threads from the structural ones
> too bad they couldn't even see the web
> "OH-HO-HO-HO-HO~!"
> your sister descends from the tree on a single thread
> half a dozen yellow jackets struggle futilely, only managing to entangle themselves even further
> "Welcome to my parlor!"
> pretty sure she doesn't know what a parlor is but you let it go, she's obviously having a blast
> you help her thoroughly secure the panicked bug girls and set them up in an circle before grabbing Bzz'kzzt'k and leaving
> Bzz'kzzt'k has stopped struggling by the time you get home
> she's just drooling around her gag and staring at you apprehensively now
> a spark of hope kindles in her eyes when she sees your parents
> it dies when they pointedly ignore her
> Mom fusses with Dad's overcoat using her pedipalps and comments, "I hope little Inxena isn't being too hard on her new playmates."
> "Last I saw she was having a tea party and poking them with a stick if they disagreed with her propositions."
> "Propositions?"
> "Oh you know, 'Spiders are the best.', 'Spinning webs is cooler than flying.', 'Spidergirl would beat The Wasp in a fight.', that kind of thing."
> your Dad laughs, "Sounds like we'd better hurry up and rescue them! We'll text you when we get to your grandparents' house."
> then, after a final thumbs up from your Dad, you have the house to yourself for the night
> well, to yourself and your 'guest' anyway
> you lug her upstairs to your room
> the basement 'dungeon' would be better for this but it would be too creepy to do it where your parents fuck
> arrange her face down, ass up at the foot of your bed
> collar attached to a chain bolted to your bed frame goes around her neck
> affix spreader bar keeping her legs apart
> put her wrists in cuffs attached to the bar
> cap her stinger and tie it to the collar, forcing it into an uncomfortable arch
> once she's secure you start peeling off the spider silk
> and her clothes
> stop before you get to her gag
> she looks really pissed off
> pull up a chair and admire your handiwork
> she tries to stare you down but you just sit quietly for a long time
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de5276 No.381356
>>381354
> her glare is starting to waver when you finally break the silence
> "Whatever happened to my friend Lemonade?"
> glaring intensifies
> "She was such a nice girl. Friendly, kind, considerate."
> if looks could kill
> "I was always secretly a little sweet on her. I always wished she'd say she liked me too."
> "But she never did."
> she tries to keep up her angry front but can't meet your eyes and looks away
> you gently hold her chin as you remove her gag, "Do you know why my friend Lemonade went away, Bzz'kzzt'k?"
> she still refuses to look you in the eye but you think you can see the beginnings of tears glistening in her eyes
> anger and sadness war in her voice
< "Maybe she didn't want to be a pathetic loser like her Mom. Maybe she wanted to be a REAL yellow jacket!"
> "Is a woman who married a wonderful man and created a loving home a loser?"
< "She's a weak, retiring, nonentity! She might as well be a bee! She fucked enough of them!"
> "Lemonade…"
< "She's used goods and a failure! A true hornet is strong and fierce! Everyone should be afraid of us! We're supposed to be in charge!"
> "I see."
> you stand up and retrieve something out of her restricted field of vision
> "I don't think that getting teased by bees who she attacked makes your Mom used goods, but I'm not going to argue the point."
> she struggles frantically as you walk up behind her and pause to look at her quivering and surprisingly dry sex
> "You do seem to find yourself in the same position though."
> you set two items down in front of her
> "Unlike your Mom, however, you're going to get a choice."
> you sit down again and point to the key
> "Say the word and I'll let you loose."
> she tries to say something but you cut her off
> "If you choose that then I never want to see you again. I don't like strident and aggressive girls. Plenty of guys do. Find one of them."
> you point to the jar, "This is high grade Alraune Nectar, courtesy of a papillon."
> her eyes widen in genuine terror
> given what happened to her mother and how she feels about it you might as well be threatening her with a jar of acid
> "If you choose to stay I'm going to keep you tied up and use this on you. I'll spend the night drowning you in pleasure and trying to fuck the bitch out of you."
> there's a pregnant pause before she responds
< "Are you trying to change me?!"
> "I'm asking you to choose who you want to be."
< "Fuck you! You don't get to tell me who to be!"
> "I'm only telling you I will never love a girl who thinks bullying my little sister makes her tough. If that's who you want to be then fine, you're free to go. You just can't be my girlfriend. It's not like I'm the only guy in the world."
> you try not to get your hopes up when you see the indecision in her face
> you stand and head to the door, "I'll give you some time to think it over."
> after a sandwich and a few rounds of playing "Monster Mania" you go back to your room
> to your shock the hornet girl is crying
> you rush to her side thinking that maybe the bondage is hurting her but she starts blubbering
< "I'm sorry! I'm so sorry! I just feel so angry all the time! I keep being so mean to everybody and I can't stop myself! Even Mommy and Daddy! Even the other hornet girls tell me to chill out but I can't!"
< "I was an outcast for so long. All the other hornets looked down on me because I was so meek. 'Takes after her mother' they said."
< "I don't know when I started overcompensating, but before I knew it I could only interact with people by being tough and mean. I finally had some respect! But I pushed so many people away… I don't think I have a single friend anymore. Just people who are intimidated by me…"
> she pleads with her eyes and implores you
< "Please punish me Anon. Please keep me tied up and fuck me until your friend Lemonade comes back."
> you and Lemonade are having a late breakfast when your family comes home
> Lemonade shifts awkwardly in your oversized t-shirt and self consciously fingers her collar as your parents take in the scene
> Dad just waggles his eyebrows and gives you another thumbs up
> Mom scuttles forward to give Lemonade a big hug and starts talking about meeting with Lemonade's parents to plan the official wedding ceremony
> little Inxena rolls her eyes and groans, "Geez big bro, you really couldn't do better than a jumped up fly?"
> "Hey! Be nice to your new sister-in-law!"
> Lemonade blushes as you reach across the table to squeeze her hand
> "You'll need to set a good example for your nieces and nephews."
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34f08c No.381384
>>381356
That was really good. I’m not usually one for insect girls but that was really good
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df607c No.381386
>Enjoying my day plowing the fields.
>Hear about nearby villages were destroyed.
>Pay it no mind, could be rumours that have gotten out of hand.
>Find stranger, a woman, collapsed in forest.
>Constantly calls out to her father.
>Feed her and house her
>Next morning she wakes up as I'm in the field.
>She's a dragon girl.
>Find out because she tries to kill me.
>We fight.
>I have a hoe, trying to fend off his ho.
>Hoe breaks.
>She hesitates in killing me.
>Eventually breaks down crying.
>Apparently my hero dad killed her dad.
>Invite for some tea inside.
Now we have seven children, or as she calls them, our seven treasures. I don't know… it just kind of happened.
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01a764 No.381387
>>381386
>>Apparently my hero dad killed her dad.
thats what's called a murder not a hero, m8
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89084f No.381389
>>381387
It's even worse than that in a monster girl world her dad would be a human dude not even a actual monster a hero would slay. His dad just murdered abother human and the order would call him a hero.
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3fecfd No.381405
written in like 5 minutes pls no bulli
>be a pilot
>flying back from a charter run to your base airfield
>the whole flight out ATC has been reporting traffic near you, but you've never gotten eyes on it
>supposedly it's the same radar return every time
>inb4 stalker gremlin with a stealth plane
>you shudder involuntarily
>the last leg of the flight is in uncontrolled airspace
>you keep your head on a swivel, looking for the mystery aircraft
>suddenly the plane lurches sideways
>wind fills your ears as you fight to keep the damn thing flying
>just as suddenly as it started, the wind dies down
>you turn to the right and see a lot of blue feathers
>wut
>in the copilot's seat sits a harpy, wearing nothing but an aviator's cap
>that would be the traffic ATC's been talking about then
>she must've opened the door from outside, somehow fighting the 80-knot relative wind
>this brings a whole new meaning to the term "birdstrike"
>the birb draws your attention to the altimeter
>it reads 5,500 feet
<"We're about to join the Mile High Club."
>she reaches over and activates the autopilot
>and then she grabs your control stick
>about an hour later the autopilot has directed you across the Canadian border
>intercepting leaf fighter jets arrive to see a blue birb practicing her stick-and-rudder skills on you
>you manage to tell them you've been hijacked
>more like she's hijacked your little airman
>the jets guide your airborne honeymoon to the nearest airstrip
>you somehow land the plane while getting road head (air head?)
>and then both of you get arrested
>luckily the judge is a hopeless romantic and she lets you both go
>and that's why your kids have dual citizenship
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66ed54 No.381406
>>381405
i guess this gives a second meaning to squawk 7500
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3fecfd No.381407
>>381406
I wanted to fit that joke in there but I didn't want to get too technical
>squawk 7500
<"Oh, one of us'll be squawking soon"
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198edd No.381410
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40083e No.381789
Could some writefag make a story about monstergirl speed dating?
Like, a guy answers an ad for speed dating monstergirls after giving up on human women, goes down to the restaurant where it's being held, and spends an hour with each girl, falling in love with the last one, and walking out of the place with her (to take her home with him).
Comedy, happy end.
Also every guy there winds up with the monfu of his dreams, and every monfu gets the guy she likes the best (the the whole thing is being run by an enterprising tanooki and her husband, who keeps her in check).
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71f289 No.381822
>>381789
>speed dating
That trash is for degenerate normalfags.
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91ce69 No.381826
>>381353
>>381353
That was great man, thanks for running with my offhanded comment.
Doom Queens Rule!
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a103d5 No.381843
>>381822 (Checked)
But anon, this is monster girl speed dating, which means it's actually speed happy and lifelong marriage commitment.
>>381789
I'll think about it.
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40083e No.381860
>>381822
I'm thinking of it as more of a scenario to quickly showcase a variety of different monstergirls in a scenario where they are forced into a traditional dating setting for lols and loves.
Remember when this board was all about those?
So put your /pol/ shit aside and just go with it.
Besides, it could be worse, and speed dating is a hell of a lot better than the most popular "dating" methods around today.
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00a356 No.382014
>>381389
He committed a mortal sin by willingly putting his dick in a monster.
The order had no choice but ti slay him.
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40083e No.383299
let's bump this thread up, because date threads are cute
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27c928 No.384186
So, is it okay to hold hands on the first date or should I wait for second?
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868cfc No.384195
>>384186
Only if you really care about her.
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4d7519 No.384334
>>384195
>implying you would date someone you don't care for
Degeneracy.
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e30330 No.384336
>>384334
On a first fucking date? You don't have to be head-over-heels for someone to ask them out on a first date, just somewhat interested. The point is to see if feelings are worth nurturing.
Which is why I say limit physical contact until you're sure you have feelings for her. Especially if she's a MG. (The restraint will likely be driving her utterly nuts)
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4de63d No.384349
>>384186
That's if she doesn't do it first. Can't trust those monsters after all, so watch out just in case she tries to do it in public.
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4d7519 No.384374
>>384336
>just somewhat interested
Dating random people in the hopes of developing feelings is pick-up culture. Hence
>Degeneracy
Don't date people you don't know well enough to have formed a connection.
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0f4e3c No.384375
>dating
>not telling everyone to sod off while you stay in your bunker
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b44e6a No.384378
>>384374
You can develop feelings that might not actually be very deep, anon. The purpose of dating in the first place is to determine how strong those feelings and that connection may be. Sometimes it isn’t as strong as you initially think. Stop being autistic.
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4f6b5b No.384381
>>384378
>dating
>not degenerate
Pick one. Also,
>not being an autist
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035a21 No.384383
Would you rather have her rape you?
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5884fd No.384386
>>384383
I'm a traditionalist if she's not your childhood friend a monster should stalk and rape her future husband.
Remember sex=marriage
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b44e6a No.384416
>>384381
>He doesn’t want to take his waifu on dates
Are you a faggot?
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cf81b1 No.384418
>>384381
>courting is degenerate because normalkikes use it for booty calls
anon pls
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40083e No.384516
Dating is a-ok, so long as sex (including all sex acts) only occurs after marriage, dates are for kissing, hugging, handholding, headpats, etc.
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40083e No.384517
>>384516
also, there is nothing degenerate about dating, it's how we determine compatibility as a couple, suitability for marriage, and become familiar with each other.
it also increases the bond between the two before marriage.
Having a mate be your girlfriend before a wife, is one of the most romantic, natural, and pure transitions ever.
What modern degenerates do is not dating, it's casual sex they rebranded with the dating name to make it seem less degenerate then it actually is to the people participating in it.
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2996e9 No.384524
>>380654
stop larping you homo
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222b6f No.384526
>>384524
What's he larping about?
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40083e No.384928
Here's a LARP for you:
I recently moved to a new place for my job
This is after the dimensions merged and the monsters began living among us, or us among them, depending upon the perspective
After a day of being sexually harassed all day by my new tanooki boss eager to promote me into being her "personal assistant" in exchange for a "secret project" (putting my privileged dick in her) I decide to cool off by looking for a gaming group online, as I was still big into tabletop.
It was a simple ting, monsters were monsters and were evil and ugly, and I had to slay them for a reward of cash, I decided on the classics- DnD.
I finally found one group that seemed completely serious and showed up early at the meeting, only to find that they had beaten me there.
it was at a restaurant and they had already ordered their food, they were all women, all monstergirls, there was a pair of groups, and they were playing against each other, to present the same story "from both sides", each size had it's dark and light equivalents, and here they are, in order of size:
a pixie and a sprite (sprite is basically a greenskin pixie, which is the stereotypical faerie, except these faeries are a lot bigger than typically depicted, still they are capable of flight)
a Hobbit and a Goblin
a Dwarf and an Orc (keep in mind that the name "dwarf" was given my the elves, and they had yet to meet humans at that time, so they are not that much shorter than humans)
A Lizardgirl and Dragongirl (one being more human, the other being more draconic, both carnivorous, cold-blooded, and scale-skinned females, but the lizardgirl was crocodilian, though more towards a gatorgirl, she was amphibious and heralding from the swamps, the other was the fire-breathing flying type that lives in mountainous caves coiled around a pile of treasure, the dragongirl had no legs, only a snakes tail, and had her scaly-yet-batlike wings for her arms, basically wyvern meets lamia, and closer to the original depiction of western dragons then to tolkein's smaug)
a Wood elf and a Blood elf (adopted because of their crimson hair and other reasons totally not related to WoW)
a High elf and a Night elf ("night elf" being a re-branding of "drow" that is completely original and not because they are also addicted to WoW)
and a Giant and a Troll (here trolls are basically a greenskin giant, which themselves are just larger humans, but not nearly as large as typically depicted, it would be better to describe them as mini-giants or amazons)
all of them were extremely attractive, and when I walked in i could tell that the feeling was mutual, they were all lusting over me the whole game, and I was to be the "prize" of their game.
I wanted out, but they decided to buy me food and drinks and generally fawn over me, what's more, they were all fun to hang with, and I had nothing else to do, or any food left at home, and because I didn't play along with miss nooki I wouldn't get paid till the end of the week, I just hoped I wouldn't be getting raped that night.
they played a campaign of a great war of the fae, between the lighter fae and the darker ones, they all played themselves, and chose their classes accordingly (the wood elf was a ranger, the high elf a mage, the hobbit a rogue, the dwarf a warrior, etc.)
I played the dungeon master, and I had a great time with the girls, despite the obvious flirting attempts that showed me what a lone female in a gaming group of horny men must feel like, but I enjoyed the free food and drinks (i kept my distance from alcohol, however, even though I now trusted them, as I had work the next day)
later, the orcess later offered to drive me home, it was raining out, and I took the bus, nothing happened, until the tires gave out, and that was how I wound up at her place and in her bed, while she slept on the couch, that was technically my first date with what would later become my wife.
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fdce12 No.395505
>>380623
>Number 65 or 63
god I wish that was me
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7b4b06 No.395568
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