No.16238
I met this guy online by coincidence, he started off talking to me to troll me but we ended up in a gay relationship and for some reason I still loved him when he randomly sent me gore and called me a retard all the time. I loved him so much I forgave him every time. But I was too clingy, I spam messaged him all the time and I couldn't handle an hour alone. He said he wanted to marry me and have kids with me one day so I thought he was being honest and I got super into the idea. He told me was into stabbing and cutting people sexually and I loved him so much I told him I was willing to let him stab me and I absolutely meant it because I loved him so much. He tried to kill himself recently and I spammed him begging him not to. I love him so much. He left me today because I sent a 3,777 character message about how much I loved him, wanted to marry him, would let him stab me, wanted to do anything for him, etc and he freaked out about it. I thought he'd like it. I cut myself a few days ago cuz I made him sad and I felt bad about it. I've sent him money for his medicine and I don't regret it no matter how many slurs he calls me and no matter if he never loves me back. I loved him so deeply. I never wanted to hurt him or make him uncomfortable. I just wanted him to be all mine and now he's all gone an I don't know what to do. I have his name written on my bedroom wall but I'll paint over it. I tried to overdose like last night with old pills from surgery but it sadly didn't work and he cared enough to tell me to vomit it up and I lied and said I did but I didn't but I ended up still alive this morning somehow. I miss him so fucking much. I wish he loved me back the way I loved him. I literally chased after him so fucking much and spent so many messages and emails chasing after him and whole new social media accounts to message him and a whole new email and fuck I even used my college email for a school I applied to and got a college email account with and I'm probably not gonna go to that college now cuz if they see that shit I'm screwed. I am so sad. I wanna fucking die.
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No.16242
I'm the original poster I swear to God, and I literally only knew this man for like about a week idk why I love him so much wtf. Idk I'm such a retard. I had to add this on cuz this shit is important to know.
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No.16243
I am also the original poster and I have to add on I literally also have done the same thing with women too and it's just as bad. I'm such a fucking weirdo towards everyone. >>16242
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