>>117369
toppest kek
>your name: Jan Hopper
>your quest: to rescue the signed football from the Nose Pickers before they can revive Boss Tweed
>your inventory: a 175-sheet tissue box, a calculus homework, a 2 GB flash drive, three chewing gum, two beer salads, and $52.36.
>your location: New York City
>your stats: 20 hp, 5 sp, 7 atk, 4 def, 8 spd