>>6463
On "topping from the bottom": What does that actually mean in the contect of a SSC power exchange relationship? Does it really exist? If so, how does it work, exactly? I say it certainly does not really exist and is a RP term all to often used to describe the antics of an unruly sub that the so-called 'dom' can't figure out how to manage well, or to express frustration due to both parties poorly negotiating and updating the basic parameters. It may also describe the convolution where neither one can really tell who is the dom and who is the sub in spite of it being clear who is wielding the 'riding crop'.
In the world of pro BD/sm and D/s players, the line is even blurrier: Who is actually in charge? Who is the top? Who is the bottom? Is the 'bottom' the one tied helplessly to the X-frame getting flogged…but who paid for it? Or is it the so-called 'domme' who is actually doing his bidding and being paid to do so? In real life scenarios, one can be the 'top' without being the one who is actually in charge: the Domme who tied him up is the 'top' but he actually called the shots and is paying her so she works for him and he's the 'boss'; therefore, he is 'in-charge'! The term "topping from the bottom" is very arbitrary (and to me, silly) term with no universal definition. Much like the term "disrespecful": to some Dommes a sub may show disrespect if he does not bow each time he is in her presence. To me that's a bit fluffy, but I do consider my husband not immediately answering "Yes, Ma'am" to me when I give an order as being disrespectful. The term has no concise meaning other than when I say a subbie is trying to 'top from the bottom', then he is…period! And he will be punished for it…I will soundly belt him just because I can. But then, wait… that may be just exactly what he wants! So is he in charge, or am I? If I pick up on subtile clues that he is giving and I modify my approach, is he topping? Am I, by changing my approach to bend to his clues, bottoming? The bottom in any SCC scene often has the ultimate power in the form of the Safe Word and can totally end the scene. So who is really in charge anyway? Getting the picture? In reality, and outside of pure fapping fantasies of absolute slavery, the dom and the sub are involved in a "Power Exchange". Read and learn what that actually means and it will be both enlightening and enriching; the term "topping from the bottom" can then take on it's proper definition and that is simply the meaning you and your sub ascribe to it in your negotiations. By the way, in my over 45 years of experience in D/s and BD/sm relationships and scenes, most book on the subject are "shit books" and cater more to male fapping than to fulfilling real-life Power Exchange relationships.