everything is cope. it dont matter if you succeed or fail at something, there will be always that feeling of hollowness waiting for you in every thing you do and it is inevitable. whether it be laughing with a loved one thinking life is worth experiencing, or crying alone in your room while misery and doubt stomps your head, in the end everything its the same. the void waits until you stop lifting your weights, jerk off and jizz, read that book, smoke that joint and finish your drink, go for a walk in a sunny day. the sensation can be brief but very powerful, more than any other meditation, as it is the pure awareness of existing as a consciouss being and the weight that it carries to be that. self improvement is ok and i try to practice it, but not a lot of people seem to be talking about it as something that grows from trouble, and such trouble will remain on your memory no matter how hard you try to cover it with good action. and so it is that everyone wants to feel as a champion, saying how much that problem that they had resulted in triumph and prosperity, while patting themselves on the shoulder and feeling like they are at the top, the bottom and at both sides of the universe while death laughs at them in the distance, lying in wait to next take them to the non-other side, that same black void that we feel while being alive
no, i dont feel ok