/cyoa/ - Choose Your Own Adventure

>>11141

You are now soul bound to a pair of Gemini Imps. These masterful assasins of the night are comepletely loyal to you and will carry out any plans you have with great joy. You may choose their gender and personality. The twins have average intellegence for demons.

>Special powers

Invisibility, Blink, Black Magic, Cast Sleep, and some simple healing spells

>>11141

Perk 4: Mental Defenses

With this perk nothing can damage your body! Though it's because your defensive ability was pooled entirely in your mental strength. Whenever an attack is done on you, punches, bullets, laser beams from gods, it will never leave a scratch on your body but instead wear down your mind's barriers. Death will occur if your mind completely wears away and you would enter any afterlife lobotomized, hope you've been good enough for rehabilitation.

In case your brain sucks your phsyical defensiveness counts for double translating to mental defenses, and that includes for any armor you have on at the time. You will also become sassy while under attack and well versed in attacking enemies psychologically as well.

(This thread is a really cool idea, I'm curious to see all the places it goes)

Your purveyors come to you with a two-sided coin.

>Umbric Puke<

You are the conveyor. All things from elsewhere flow through you. Upon opening your maw, you can choose to open the gates. To where? You know not. This could bring about truly apocalyptic invaders, or a large deluge of lye-rich pus-water from the bathtub of a scrubby-dubby horror- and anything in-between.

>Devouring Star<

Your mouth is also a gateway to the void. You can open the maw on your face to unreasonable dimensions, a maximum of fifty feet vertically, your lips gaping to upwards of thirty feet laterally. A vaccuum more ravenous and cold than space draws all into the void. This process also sustains you and staves off the process of aging. By taking lives or precious metal into the void, you may be granted unholy ability or the favor of ancient beings. Alternately, anything you have drawn into the black can be summoned if not offered up to the dark ones, to be used or incorporated into your body for a short time. Predictably, steel hardens you, jel-O makes you jiggly, physical attributes abound. Alternately, consuming a great warrior could gift you with martial prowess. Your kind has been known for making interesting mechanisms based on natural law- this manipulation of the universe is not possible for you, conduit. Eat a radio. Transmit gamma radiation into the nards of your foes.

We await your creativity, young and hungry patron.

Weapon: The Communist Brick

Using it to hit something always does the same amount of damage, no matter the immunities or protection one may have.

Side Effect: Causes severe Hunger in a 3 miles area.

>>11159

Happy adventuring

>>11159

Search for the Communist Brick and convert it to Capitalism.

>>11168

The Legendary Sword: Excalipur

Though it appears to be the legendary sword Excalibur, this is actually a cursed bootleg of the real thing. No matter how strong you are, or how much of a mastery you have over edged weapons, this weapon will never deal more than the absolute bare minimum possible. You would have better luck fighting your foes with a feather duster than this weapon.

Despite its uselessness in combat, it is surprisingly practical as an ornate symbol of power. It can be sold for a high price if you're willing to find someone who believes they could buy the right to own Excalibur, but be advised that this could be an easy way to make powerful enemies once they find out. On top of that, keeping it on your person makes you a top target for thieves and bandits.

If you carry it with you on your journey, you may eventually find a way to lift the curse and unlock its true, unhindered power. However, the power held within the weapon is far too great for its physical container, and it will shatter into dust upon striking a foe with it.

>>11168

I be how I do

Any penalties for doing something unfitting of your status or characteristics are lessened.

For example:

You may walk into people's houses with little issue so long as you don't act poorly.

You can wear ragged clothes or cross-dress and still interact normally.

Villages will be more tolerant of you if an outsider. Likewise, other sentient races/species may be more open only if they previously weren't hostile.

>>11168

From Down Under:

You are a cangaroo now.

You retain your mental capabilities, but you are a member of the Marsupial family now.

Your Boxing skills increase dramatically.

>>11168

Companion: Unholy Healer

This girl is an underworld worshiper who is very knowledgeable in the field of medicine and demonic healing magics. She uses first aid normally but anything more dire will have side effects. Any surgeries will leave you with demonic replacement parts that are more prone to damage from holy sources. Replacement limbs if you lose an arm or a leg will be obvious frakenstien style mismatch but functional.

She has horns and a little devil tail but those are hidden without much effort. She will always wear some demonic symbols at all times (or have tattoos of such symbols if fully nude) that she refuses to hide as she is proud of it, so may attract bad attention.

You may date her, and luckily she keeps her weird demon worship mostly in her work and her clothes so if you're not into freaky goth shit in the bedroom you don't have to deal with it. If you do want to deal with it though it won't take much to convince her.

Don't ask her where she gets the blood or medical supplies.

>>11189

As the dust in the air finally clears you open your eyes to find yourself in modern day Tokyo. By a twist of fate you have been summoned into the Holy Grail War as a servant to the young magus (and Tsundere) Tohsaka Rin.

The war is a battle royale in which 7 masters and their servants (magically summoned super powered entities which are usually historical figures of legend) duke it out for wish granting chalice dubbed "The Holy Grail". Each master typically has 1 servant and . The Grail will not materialise until 1 servant remains. You are bound to your master by 3 command seals which your master can expend to make you do one time impressively magical feats (or just boss you around).

Dispatch of the other 6 Masters and their Servants through fair means of foul and the Grail will be yours for the taking. If you should succeed, the Grail will grant you one wish for for your efforts and send you back to wherever you were before you got summoned here. Should you fall in battle, you will be damned to the eldritch tentacle pits of hell for all eternity.

Happy adventuring young kanga.

>>11196

SAD BIRD HORSE

You can be a supersonic pegasus. But it makes you sad, and only looking emo offers you any easement to your eternal torment. Which isn't really much succor, but you're not any more immortal than usual so that's probably okay.

>>11197

kys ponyfag

>>11196

Perk: Blessing of Kek

you are now able to grow and cultivate memes of your choosing. You may eat them to gain benefits. Their benefit is related to the content of the meme. The freshness and dankness of the meme crop defines how potent the effects are. In addition to your main quest (decided by 7th anon of course) this perk gives you a secondary quest to find the great prophet of Kek Pepe. If you do and bring your freshest and dankest memes he will recognize you as a true believer and help you on your journey and use meme magic to help you accomplish your goal.

>>11196

When the bullet gun's gun bullets aren't the right choice, your friend has cobbled together from unreasonably disparate parts, a long distance gun. It spits fire and thunder, but at the ranges he sets up for, the target still won't know what hit him.

Downside: he's slightly crazy, and thinks he's an actual dragon, so he configures all his decor to reflect his draconian lineage. Also he might pick the wrong target, or the wrong moment. By miles; he's that good, and bad.

>>11196

You can transform yourself into another humanoid, but your default form is Hitler and you can only stay transformed for 12 hours a day. You will gain a huge following online and a huge number of detractors.

>>11196

>Snek Fairy

You gain a lamia as your familiar. She lacks wings, is around 1 foot tall, can regenerate from any injury in under 2 hours, and is super stretchy. As your familiar can summon her to your location with a thought.

>Negatives

<She is a clingy tsundere who will constantly annoy you until you earn her respect.

<She is cold blooded and will die if she's not kept warm

<Starts with no skills but has an affinity for pyromancy

Amazon Guard you gain an army of Immortal amazons (they can be killed but they come back to life the next day) who will do your bidding. They expect that you have sex wit them 3 hours a day and for another 3 hours practice combat with them. if you do not perform your duties they will find a random nerd who will.

I am the adventurer

Here are some anime tiddies to please /cyoa/ into giving me cool shit

>One shot wand

This ancient wand has a max range of 200 feet and can cast a spell powerful enough to disintegrate a 2 story house! Just point in a general direction,focus a bit of your willpower into the wand's tip, and bam, one bright ball destruction will be fired. The technology for producing this weapon has been lost to time and judging from the large cracks the wand would break from one more use.

>>11265

Premature Ejaculation

You just can't keep it in. Fair maidens across the land mockingly refer to you as the Half-Minute Hero. It will seem like a curse, but your premature ejaculation will one day save you from death. How it does so, no one knows. We expect YOU to write us a 500 word story on how your premature ejaculation acts as a premature evacuation from danger, otherwise you WILL die.

Yes, this is a reference to you calling Adventurer before the last guy even finished his quest.

>>11267

>>11268

He got his perks, he got his quest, and it's been over 18 hours. I ain't waiting several days for him to finish a short story.

>>11270

And now it's been 3 days, and the fucker still probably haven't even read his perks and quest.

Cough it up /cyoa/, give me my perks, make em good.

>>11265

The keyboard of the matrix. Attach this to a monitor, and it will let you see the matrix itself.

Technically it lets you edit it too, but it all goes by so fast … you'll have a hard time doing more than making your hair blue. But maybe in time…

>>11265

Though this man is a middle-aged loser, he is also a wizard of great and terrible power. Do not be fooled by his clothing as it holds many trinkets, treasures, and trophies. If you want to beat him, you need to make use of weaponry that can defeat his wizard powers, such as say a gun.

dream walking

You can enter the dream of any specific person you choose. You don't have to be physically near them, but need to know specifically where there are to within a few feet; their address isn't enough, you'll need to know which room they're asleep in.

Also, you count as awake during this time, and you just see the nonsense they're hallucinating, this power doesn't come with interpretation.

Having said that, if you teach yourself dream interpretation, you can learn the inner secrets of everyone on the planet, given enough time.

>>11265

>Corruption Patrick

When Squidward tried to summon demons to kill Spongebob and Patrick it fucked up and Patrick's an evil demon now. Patrick is a huge threat, but is still lazy and stupid. He will teach you the dark arts if you do bad deeds or do shit he's too lazy to do. Which is a ton. Spongebob is still around, but is shit at fighting so he will just make food and be good company. He will let you sell Krabby Patties only if you give 90% back to the Krusty Krab. Patrick also knows many hot demon bitches and they get bored in hell a lot. You will also have a way to get to the underworld.

Aight, give me my quest now

>>11348

The head of the Tyrell* corporation recently stepped down, and fell into a plot hole. You quickly covered it back up with a manhole cover and stepped into his place.

*(Yeah I didn't remember it either.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blade_Runner

replicants / adroids / hollow children, I think? )

To be successful, you must:

prevent societal collapse

not let the corporation fall into the red

achieve at least 80% containment on this replicant loose business. That includes bad press, pursuant to item two, above.

There's an anime, as an example, I was trying to think of, but absolutely can't, so have an angry sweetie-bot in the anime's place.

>>11357

Considering I don't know shit about Blade Runner, I will use my two most trusted advisors - Corruption Patrick and Middle-aged wizard to guide me. I think replicants don't get dreams the same as humans, so I'll use my powers as a head of a major corporation to survey where people sleep, and see who is human, and who is an android. Additionally, I will spend my free time tinkering with the Matrix, trying to see if I can change stuff from there.

I will try and get the wizard to repair the one shot wand, and keep it by my side to protect me.

And as I finish with one of the hot demon bitches, stepping away from the bed as she bitches at mel, a bullet rips through the window, mere centimeters from my head. If I had lasted a bit longer, I'd be a dead man. Quickly I take out my wand, and blast in the general direction of the shot, taking out a solid chunk of the building the assassin was in. Was it a replicant? Was it sent from another corporation? I guess I will know the moment they fall asleep.

What do you think you are doing you are doing you greedy layabouts? It is I, Dr Ivan Robotnik, who will be the next adventurer! I'll make an invention that will allow me to destroy that mettlesome hedgehog once and for all!

>>11385

Fat ugly old man powers

You now have all powers of a fat ugly old man, able to cuck Sonic to death.

The powers do not include being fast enough to catch up to his friends, and they are still tiny furries, so everyone will look at you weird at the next Evil Genius Mastermind convention.

>>11385

>Sub-Space Eggman-sary

Your mortal enemy is a part of that ridiculous Nintendo mashup mess, and this lets you benefit from that casual connection! You now get 3 Companions from the smash bros series of your choosing be it regular characters, assist trophy characters, or even listed as a regular trophy. Plus you can specify any variation of them from any of their games even if that variation isn't represented in smash bros itself. Just think of the possibilities to what major villains you can team up with to take down that stupid blue rodent.

Technically you can also just choose 3 of the smash girls for… reasons. But I'm sure you'll do what's best for tactical reasons.

>>11385

>Unstable molecule suit

You gain a form-fitting bodysuit made from unstable molecules, which is unable to be torn through conventional means and will protect you from all attacks, however your organs are still squishy and are effected by momentum, so if you're thrown into a wall any internal damage will be the same, but you won't be able to get cut by any blade. Energy and physical attacks have no effect on it, but magic attacks that break down materials at the atomic level can harm it (so a magic attack that just throws acid at you would have no effect, while a spell that dissolves materials would work on it). You're still effected by the force of energy blasts and the like, same as punches, so they won't harm you but they will push you around. In addition, it has razor-sharp claws and spikes on its forearms, they can't be dulled except through magic. It also has a cape that could be used to glide if you weren't quite as heavy. It will also adapt to any ability you have. Ex:

>if you have the ability to stretch your limbs it will stretch with them

>if you have the ability to change into an elemental form, such as turning into water or fire, it will do so along with you unless you don't want it to

>if you can change your appearance through shapeshifting, you can shapeshift the suit too.

Unfortunately due to your… impressive girth, it won't fit anyone else, so you can't give it to a soldier. Also remember that it isn't machine washable. We don't want it to shrink.

Chaos Energy can be used to teleport the suit or part of the suit away through chaos control, but on its own it's just another form of energy blast, which the suit is invulnerable to. Use this to your advantage if the one of those pesky rodents gets all seven of the Chaos Emeralds

I mostly just like the idea of eggman running around in a spider-man 2099 suit.

>>11385

An invention, eh?

You now hold the power of the Techpriests of Adeptus Mechanicus, able to create machines capable of ending worlds.

The catch is now ALL of your inventions, past present or future are haunted by Machine Spirits, that demand proper treatment and ceremonious usage, or they will turn on you. Hope you have enough incense and holy oils.

>>11385

Guardian god: Architect of Worlds.

You received the blessing of the Worldsmith, allowing you to build everything at far more speed. It will somehow work, but will not override other perks.

>>11385

Miles "Tails" Prower

Tails has gotten fucking tired of Sonic and his bullshit. Because of your fat old man body he has fallen in love with you and will murder Sonic for your love and devotion. He can obviously all the shit do in the games and other media. Like flying with his tails, being able to keep up with Sonic, having a form like Super Sonic. He can also be really badass with inventions when he has access to your stuff.

But if you use this perk you will somehow find a kitsune necklace that will make Tails a powerful kitsune forever. It will make him be able to do any of the stuff that kitsunes do like transform into giant monsters, make illusions, or possession. The catch is that will play a ton of pranks on you, but he will play pranks with you on other people. They are great pranks and will get turned on if you prank Sonic.

Also you will find a cheap Naruto cosplay headband that let's Tails whatever Naruto can do when wears it, but since kitsunes are magical as fuck he is stronger than Naruto. This has a catch too. He will become a giant weeb and Narutofag and will create a bunch of terrible fanfics, amvs, and fanart and will show everything to you. He will stop if you take of the headband.

>>11654

I do not think that is humanely possible, anon

>>11654

My dear friends, the time has come where I finally give you the tale you have all been waiting for; The tale of how I, Doctor Ivo Robotnik destroy that pesky blue hedgehog. It will be a tale of great drama and emotion, tension and action, of heroism! MY heroism! This will be the best story you will ever know in your puny lives, and I am only going to tell it ONCE, so listen closely:

One night, I suddenly obtain all the powers and allies I ever need. From the subsubverse of Nintendoo I conjure 3 fearsome warriors: The King of a foreign country, Harkinian, a famous plumber called Wario, and a stupid furry named Star Fox. With the help of my loyal allies, I force that stupid spider suit on that Fox and lock him into a closet, where he will fabricate Lamp Oil for all eternity! Fucking furries, I bet his crew helplessly crashed into an asteroid. Hahahahahaha

Also, there is Tails. I just let him do his own plots, he seems awfully trustworthy. Of course, I am going to dip him into Lava together with his hedgehog friend once I finally catch him. Harkinian, using his godly wisdom and leadership skills, replaces the incompetent leader of some no-name country with himself and installs a proper dictatorship through the power of impersonation and communism! Now, with an entire nation under my grasp.. I force them to mass-produce MY genius robot and weapon designs in cramped factories designed by own genius. I bet most of these people are furfags anyways, so they get what they deserve. Now, I leave it up to the plumber to study ancient chinese military tactics to become a great general! When he isn't doing that, he is trying to fix our country's waste problem, I think last time I checked he installed giant fans which blow all the pollution to the neighbouring country. Wait, what's this? I'm declared war upon and I haven't even started searching for that hedghog?! This is simply unacceptable! Fight, fight my robots! With the factories and the weapons and the forced- oh no! Just how is this possible? I am being defeated!

I won't let this be, those basket idiots will see when I colonise THE MOON! That's right, I immediately start constructing the most epic and handsome space rocket the world has yet to see, and use it to steer to the moon and expand my territory there with my best men and resources aboard. Using my excellent ability to foresee the future, I know exactly what to do and in what order when we arrive, and without any problem we have a functioning moon factory colony. They can't fire at me from the earth, I have taken the entire moon hstage! Heeheheh. Now then, whilst Harkinian is busy dealing with the country and the plumber with leading the military, I start constructing large defense systems against invading rocket ships they might send my way. But something's not right.. the lights seem to flicker, the machines refuse to turn on. But surely it can't be because of bad materials or my designs, I am a genius after all! Oh no, I remember now! I left that stupid Star Fox on Earth. Now I have no one left to make lamp oil for. This gets me upset, it is time for a change in structure: I give Harkinian the military rule and the Plumber the other mucky stuff. Immediately, I see results, whatever forces I had left on earth actually start having some victories, and the workers are making enough lamp oil to supply my entire moon base without slowing down their usual production! What a sgreat choice, what a smart man I am. I sit back and relax, teling my servants to fetch me orange juice as I watch Earth from here. Hey, this isn't too bad. All alone up here in my colony, ruling the first ever space nation, Maybe I should settle down. No! What am I thinking? That stupid blue globe reminds me of sonic's face! I throw my glass of orange juice on the floor, just as a fleet of space ships approach my base. How did they do that? How did they manage to get the technology for space ships this fast? How? HOW? HOW?

The comms open, and it is all clear to me now, Star Fox was behind it all! He dared to BETRAY me! How unforgivable. How absolutely disgustingly infuratble imbecile! But I have my space defenses, let's watch them in action! Ah, first casualities! But somehow, this isn't satisfying me, the casualties aren't going fast enough, they are soon reaching firing range! My defenses were designed to stop rockets, not space ships, surely that is the cause. But what will I do if they get close enough? For the first time during this campaign, I felt an intense fear, the upcoming dread that all dear to me would be exploded by a FILTHY FURRY BEAST! And already, a ship with the face of Star Fox painted on it is flying above one of my giant machine guns and blows it up with one bomb Suddenly however, space ships come from the opposite side- MY side! How can this be? I haven't designed any space ships since the rocket that launched me here. Was it the marvelous magnificence of Harkinian that caused a military revolution? Was it the cunning, brutal plumber who devised a genius emergency plan? The comms opened, it was Tails. "Hello Dr Robotnik, we should do something tonight." I didn't even want to know the implications of that. Yet, even if I was completely humilated, being rescued by a furry, I felt thankful to the gods, to whatever cosmic diety saved me in this pinch. Wait, what? Clearly this wall part of my subconcious second brain working! I shout "ANNIHILATE THAT BLASTED YELLOW SHIP!" through the comms, directed at the one who blew up my machine gun, the one with the Star Fox, the one which Star Fox piloted! The two sides clashed, surprised by the force of Ace Pilot Tails and his squadron, they get bad losses, and at last the yellow ship explodes. "YES, YES!", I shouted and cheered.. The enemies end up turning around and retreating. But my celebration was not to last, as the comms opened shortly, for Star Fox to smirkly reply "You missed me!". That cheeky bastard, tricking me into exploding the wrong ship! I'll get him back for this!

I get to the blueprint table, and draw out the most cunning, destructive, dangerous war machines soon to be known by furrykind! But a problem appears. The plumber is telling me that the work force can't keep up with my so-called "ridiculous demands". But if he says something like that ,perharps there is some truth to it. So I go to examine the factories, and see that most of the working has been replaced by machines whilst the meaty ones make candles and praying, as well as pouring orange juice into oil hatchets. What treachery! The plumber brings me to calm again, and I see the problem. It is not the fault of myself or any of my underlings, but nature itself! I can't wait several years for the next generation to grow up, without meaty workers my station won't be able to expand, and it need it to NOW. I scratch all my plans for awesome space ship robots and draw up something different, Something unbecoming of my usual style: a small, resourceful, stealthy 'craft designed to swoop into earth quickly and unnoticed and steal people. At first, it was hard to force myself to do this, and I spent many nights writhin in agony, unable to pick the proper choices. But alas it was finished, and it feels like my artistic horizons have broadened. Also the ship looks like a fat fucking CD, maybe if I paint the cover of a popular rock band or video game those idiots on earth will really believe that it is just a flying CD!

Now, I hae mass produced several of these, and am leaving them up to Harkinian to send out. Great minds think alike, they say, I am sure he would do the exact same decision as I would and first empty those desolate wastes like Africa or Siberia. Forwarding some time after I mucked about my underlings, held a national rant about that pesky blue bastard, results have started to show. I have gotten enough people to expand my space base, which when I think about it, is actually fairly small. Probably doesn't even cover the size of Luxembourg. Anyways, there is a problem. Harkinian sent his UFOs to darted Arctica, which turned out to be the secret launch base of Star Fox & the United Nations & Ice Nazis & co. Now all governments are on full alert to my brilliant, nefarious scheme and have started handing out anti-material rifles to people living in Siberia or Africa! How will I be able to grow my station now that they all know where I am getting my subjects from? In addition, that stupid idiot abducted polar bears and is keeping them in a breeding zoo under the surface of the moon! When I yelled at him, he mumbled something about dinner or warriors Oh, whatever should I do now? Design more space ships? Tell that plumber to hurry production up? Tails? I consult Tails, and after a short discussion, I eventually came to say "Oh why aren't there any creatures to do my bidding which could fully replicate in a week?",".. but there are." Tails suggested Bacteria. That was a fucking stupid idea, what a dumb beast. How could bacteria help produce space ships or light candles? But then, a genius idea sprung up within me. What if I weaponise the bacteria? After spending many sleepless days, and before you say anything more, the day/night cycle doesn't matter anymore when you're on the moon, I completed amost fabulous invention: The Bacteria Incrementing Ray! When its beam hits a surface, the bacteria will increase in size! With this, my world domination is within my grasps, the bacterias will just get rid of all those furries and stupids for me! So then I personally create and decorate a fast and large flagship to hold the ray, and attach some laser beams on the CDs as an escort. No wait, these CDs are too flimsy, I'll send Tails and his crew to handle the escort!

I hand the mission over to Harkinian, and salute the pilot myself. Seeing my hideously wicked face will surely boost their morale, and make them say "You are our world dominator, Robotnik!" with glee! Of course, the pilot and the crew are robots, but I am sure they feel teh same emotions as we humans do. I go back to my luxurious lounge and plop down on my couch made of polar bear skins, and switch on the TV with live footage of my small fleet. I handcrafted about 100 small drones solely for the purpose of sending me the most accurate highest quality footage several miles into space to me. Of course, Star Fox and his gangsters have been awfully quiet, and neither have any of the nations that declared war on me attacked me yet. Then it dawned: maybe they were waiting for me to strike first! As far as I know, Star Fox would be unable to produce htat many high quality space ships and gather enough crew for them by himself, it is only logical he allied with one of the super-powers- or perharps worse, all of them? This was tense, from the finale of a action movie it had turned to the build-up of a thriller. Accroding to my calculations, and my calculations are always correct, Earth should now have a fleet even bigger than mine! I contemplate telling Tails to haul his ass back here, but that defies my pride, my determination, my raw masculinity! And besides, maybe he'll end up actually exploding, that would be something. Indeed, it would. I observe. As I predicted, an enemy fleet approaches. This one has a different colour and design, so unless Earth has split up into different factions, these are improved, newer designs. They outmatch Tail's Squadron in both numbers and power. Tail's escort and the enemies engage. At first it seems they are evenly matched, it would make sense for these new ships to have completely newbie pilots, whilst Tails' are experienced, but it soon gets clear that numbers and power beat skill. One by one, my side's ships go down. I bury my face in my hands and now regret not putting any other weapons on my flagship. But then I look up, and see that Tails is floating in space breathing and making each of the enemy ships explode as he touches them one by one with his 2 + 7 new tails. What the flying hedgehog? How'd this happen? How did I miss the moment of this extreme transformation? Regardless, I watch in glee, the enemy has been defeated, and not soon after the Bacteria Incrementer Flagship reaches its destination: South East Asia Normally I would go for Africa, as they seem to have more diseases and a more fitting environment for bacteria to multiply than any other place has, but now that everyone there has anti-tank rifles and the entirety of it has fallen into anarchy with thousands of warlords and their own bands, I wouldn't dare touch it. Now comes the moment we've all been waiting for! The flagship gets into range, and fires its beam mear some humid forest village. Not much happens. What a bummer. I should have tested the ray before sending it out into action! But regardless, after half an hour, visible results showed. A mass of assumingly viscious bacteria had formed and repeatedly multiplied! Success! But then there come 10 attack helicopters, shooting down the ship and bombing the entire area, with Tails being nowehre in sight. The TV lost contact after that.

I stand before Harkinian and Plumber Man. My two right-hand men. We have made great progress the past month; the space base almost doubled in size and our armada has finally gotten the upgrades it deserved, now sporting a formidable size and ships and weapons of great caliber. We toasted our Wine mugs and drank our dinner, watching as the fleet, now deserving of its name, marched outside our window. You might be wondering how we made it this far so suddenly. Firstly, Harkinian completed his secret Polar Bear Traiining Program. As it turns out, Polar Bears are very smart, and very good at meditating and praying. Even better than most of my ordinary subjects! Now, with a hierarchy where the subjects at the bottom making candles for the bears above them to pray with, the machine efficency and capacity has greatly improved, allowed our base size and defenses to flourish. There is still the problem of getting new subjects, but for now, this will suffice.

The fleet is heading straight to Earth, to raze it. Within the past month, many small skirmishes happened, enough to make some experienced pilots. But nothing as major as this. The UN Fleet, Star Fox's personal gang and African Space Warlords all united versus Harkinian's Roster, Tail's squadron and old cd ships reworked as Suicide Bombers.

The UN Fleet consits of a good amount of UN Fighters, medium speed witht hard hitting projectiles. They have fast laser Cruisers, designed to shoot down fighters, as well as Torpedo Destroyers for slow targets.

Star Fox's Gang has the most elite fighter ships and the most experienced pilots.

African Warlords somehow managed to build their own space ships. They are very badly made junk heaps, equipped with machineguns or bombs, whilst crappy, they can take some beating.

Harkinian's Roster is his pick of ships he thinks suited for this battle, which is fast Fighters with lasers, slow cruisers with autocannons and large battleships equipped with both rockets and machineguns.

Tail's Squadron mirrors Star Fox's at first, being the most Elite fighters with veteran pilots, but when you looked closer, Tail's are somewhat flimsier but more agile.

My experimental cd Suicide Bomers consist of two types: Explosive, and Impact.

The batlte starts off with fighters of both sides clashing. Robotniik Fighters avoid the slower UN fighters and their projectile weapons by keeping distance, and pick them off with their lasers, outmaneouvering them. This starts with heavy losses on UN Fighters, and Star Fox is hesitant to move in, the combined threat of R. Fighters and Tails keeping him away. However, the UN's laser cruisers quickly ram the battle and mop up the R. Fighters with their lasers, making them scramble back for cover. Being out in the front, R. Cruisers and Batlteships fire at them with their combined auto cannons and machine guns, some more effective than the other. With great speed, the cruisers recover, but not without taking some damage.Now the Torpedo ships let some loose, but the distance is still to great, and most shots end up missing or being dodged. Some rockets are being exchanged as well, but nothing that hits. Then, to break this distance, the African Ships sotmr recklessly into the front, guns blazing. Some R. Cruisers go down, but before more damage can be done, they are halted by the barrage of missiles and machine guns. Of course, this does little to the ships, and they push on- until suddenly the CD Exploders arrive, crashing into them and causing lots of casualities. By now, UN Fighters and Torpedoers had closed the gap firing at the R forces, and fire being returned. During this havoc, the Star Force troops move out across the field to destroy the remaining R. Cruisers. But after having done some damage, Tail's Squad intercepts them, and they are engaged in a furious Dogfight. As it happens, the last of the UN fighters go down, but they still pack a lot of Laser Cruisers and Torpedo Destroyers, whilst Robotnik only has some fighters, suiciders, but most of the battleships remaining. Tails Squad turns out to not have been able to use their greater maneuverability to their use, and take some losses due to their weak chasis. But suddenly, the R. Fighters come to assist, and the tide quickly turns as Star Fox and his crew take casualities. The battleships concentrate fire on the Laser Cruisers, blocking them from helping Star Fox, and blows them all up. There are just Torpedoers left, but a lot of them, and the battleships are down to only two. Star Fox destroyed the R. Fighters, and now he and Tails are evenly matched. In a gamble, the Battleships goes full guns blazing towards the Torpedoers. They take a few with them, but not a lot, and explode. However, through their debris cut the CD Rammers, finally getting enough range to zone in on the Torpedo ships. They crash into them at great speeds, taking them all with them. Now, Tails and Star Fox and down to only 1 man: themselves. They fight and dodge and move in an epic dogfight, but eventually, Tail's ship blows up. But Tails didn't die, of course. He bragged to Star Fox how he was invulnerable, but Star Fox opened the hatchet, and jumped out, flying and breathing just like Tails could. It must have been the power of the spider suit, finally accomadated and symbiosed with Star Fox! An epic fight continued between the two, but Tails shooting magic bullshit and attacks whilst Star Fox just soaked them up, firing from his gun and swingin. Tails seemed to run out stamina and lose, Star Fox's suit was simply too powerful. But then, he had an idea. He continued to fight further, and lured Star Fox near his own ship. With a large blinding blast, Star Fox is forced to cover his eyes, and when he opens them again he is greeted by his own ship ramming into him, propeled on the other side by Tails with his tails and magic powers. Unable to struggle himself free from the force of the pushing vehicle, he could only wait and hope that his fate wouldn't be as he thought it would be. Tails flied off along with Star Fox into the Sun, neither of them to be ever seen again.

"Now, Gentlemen, it is time to field the reserves." The remainder of my precious fleet, laying in wait until the conclusion of this battle, bursted out. Ready to bombard earth and raze it until that blasted hedgehog surrenders himself once and for all! And so, the three of us went over to the TV room, and watched as the ships approached Earth through the camera drones."Hoho, Robotnik, my liege.", Harkinian suddenly said in a strange tone. "Don't you think you have grown.. a little fat?" Immediately I saw what was going on, and pulled out my vintage Remington Shotgun from my pocket dimension pocket, and shot Harkinian's face before he could pull his gun. I turned to the Plumber, clearly in it too, but all I could see was his foot as he escaped. Polar bears were gathered outside, pouring in. I shot at them, keeping them at bay, but they advanced faster than I could reload. I flipped my shotgun around, and whacked one on the head so hard, it broke the gun in two. Then I had no choice but to resort to kung fu, beating the living crap out of those vile beasts with my superior strength and stature. Soon, it room was cleared, and filled with dead polar bears. I ran out into the hallways to see what hte plumber was up to, when the alarms suddenly sounded: "Self-destruction button pressed. Exploding in 20 minutes." Oh darn it be! I completely forgot the self-destruct button I installed when I initially landed here. There is no way to turn it off. But I did have a plan; in my private lounge, I kept a secret vault stashed with money. I would take it, and flee with a ship before the base exploded! The lounge wasn't too wide from the TV room, the question would just be how long it took me to get there. I pulled out my katana, hearing the sounds of metal clanking ahead of me. I furiously charged forth, beheading and slicing all the robot soldiers which dared recognize the plumber as their master- but not me! I kicekd in the doors of my lounge, spotting some worker bots about to lay mines. I teleport behind them, and kick them in the back of their knees, disabled them. I uncover my carpet, pulling out some wood boards to reach my vault. I open it, and stash everything I can into my clothes. "Self Destruction in 10 Minutes!", the speakers blared. At this rate, I couldn't take all of htem oney with me, so I just ran. Ran to the hangar, away from the pain. Tears of fury drenched my moustache, as I cut down and beat up all the opponents blocking my way to the hangar. There it was, my personal space ship. Only I had the keys to it. I entered and closed the door behind me, jumping into the driver's seat and crashing through the protective glass ahead. All of my work and progress, ruined! Just because of some small, greedy fat plumber hobo! I headed for Earth, but would I ever get another chance like it? I closed my eyes, and remembered.. my objective was not complete yet! I must create the best sonic 3d game ever!

I crashed not long off to the coast of Japan,and immediately went to the closest stock exchange market to buy up ALL of Sega's stock. Unfortunately, two problems presented themsleves: the first is that I don't speak fucking ching chong, the second is that I can't buy up all of the stock in one go. But I couldn't wait until they released new, so I just bribed the majority share holders with my copious amounts of money and now had 80% power over Sega, altough bankrupt. I drove on my bicycle to Sega headquarters, to make my position as new CEO clear. I entered the building, and drove the elevator to the very top floor, and there he was, as old and rotten as always. "I'm proud you finally got yourself straight, son. It's time for me to retire, and I leave Sega up to you." It was a very emotional moment I don't wish to elaborate on.

Conclusion: Many countries and people had been devastated by the raiding space ships. But eventually, militiares managed to knock them down with anti air rockets and fighter jets. These events left a mark on humanity forever, and caused a great depression in most of western countries. Africa had stabilized itself again now that the Warlords ran out of money, and Russia and China seemed trigger itchy to decide who would rule over this new era. Surprisingly though, both Russia and China collapsed due to internal instability, and split up into some different countries. Eventually, everyone rebuilt themselves, republics were forged, some countries merged. Space travel wouldn't be far off, and the new had gotten a new, big crater. Overall, it was a calm period, where no one warred, and everyone worked hard for a brigther future. Perharps my deeds had doen more good or bad, serving to reunite people and seperate everyone into the groups they should belong to. In the end, I wasn't able to make a single good sonic game, and had to file bankruptcy. Sometimes I still wonder, if that hedgehog is still alive, what he is doing today.

Nice stOOOry, Doctor! I rEEALLY enjoyed rEEading it! B-CAWWWW

>>11141

I am the adventurer

>>11745

>Kemonomimi Squad

You found a group of about 6 kemonomimi (people like catgirls) to join you. They can be girls, guys or both. They are stronger, faster, and tougher than normal humans and of course can do things that their animal can. They are excellent with firearms and related modern warfare. Even stuff that's not combat related. They also know hand to hand and can use melee weapons a little, but much prefer to gun people down. They are very kind and affectionate. Maybe too affectionate. It can be embarrassing. They're not the best at reading people ethier. They still love you though.

They can also turn you into a kemonomimi and train you in modern warfare.

>>11745

The Right to Gas:

You own a gas chamber and are legally allowed to genocide a group of your own choosing in it.

If you attempt to gas someone not in that group, however, the chamber will not work and you will be arrested by the local police force.

Don't go over start and don't get 2000$

>>11745

You have learned to fully speak and talk all languages of the world, but whatever you hear is 'translated' like by a retarded middle-school chinese with a scanner. The same applies when you talk in one of those languages. The effect is even worse when reading things, making it often completely unintelligable messes. Also all of the Kemonomimi speak vietnamese, so good luck.

>>11745

>Weird edgy teens

You get to actually look like one of the fictional characters of your choosing IRL. No powers, just looks. You are limited to chose from Homestuck, Invader Zim, Night in the Woods and Undertale.

Now everyone who likes likes those things is weirdly attracted to you, and everyone who dislikes them will be compelled to punch you. Those who don't know about it or don't care just think you look weird.

>>11745

Statute Army

You can comand statutes and statue like stuff like action figures if you are 50 ft of them. The statutes can be made (or mostly made) of any unnatural material. You can see through them, see with their eyes, and can feel what they feel if you want. If they have weapons, wings, or anything like that they can use them. If they have standard powers they will have them, but weaker. They are very highly resilient too. They will always teleport back, unharmed, after you use them. Any people in them will be teleported to limbo for a day.

stats

time

>huge

10 mins. with 3 day cooldown. One at a time.

>large

4 hours.

>medilum

12 hours.

>small

2 days.

mana

>huge

Half.

>large

Moderade.

>medilum

Small.

>small

Almost none.

You will also be a given large hidden workshop and masterclass skills in anything related to this power. It will also have a home for you and all your allies with free cable and internet.

>>11745

Companion: Landorus-Therian

Landorus-T proves itself to be one of the OU metagame's premier bulky Ground-types due to its great typing, access to U-turn, and Intimidate support. It functions as a pivot, thus providing momentum and controlling the tempo of the match, while also functioning as an all-around blanket check to many physical threats in the tier such as Mega Lopunny, Excadrill, Mega Charizard X, and Tyranitar. It can set up Stealth Rock pretty comfortably, as its high Attack stat prevents many threats from coming in freely regardless of how defensive the set you run may be. Its wide movepool consisting of great options such as Swords Dance, Explosion, Knock Off, and Rock Polish also makes it a threat in many different ways; for example, it's a great Choice Scarf user filling the role of revenge killer and can also work as setup sweeper. However, Landorus-T faces competition from Hippowdon and Garchomp as a Ground-type, with the former being able to utilize Sand Stream along with its superior bulk and defensive typing and the latter being able to spread passive chip damage through Rough Skin + Rocky Helmet. Its lack of reliable recovery outside of Leftovers also leaves it relatively low on HP to manage various threats on the opponent's team, especially if you don't play cautiously. Lastly, Landorus-T packs weaknesses to Ice- and Water-type moves, meaning it cannot set up Stealth Rock without inviting the likes of Kyurem-B, Manaphy, and Keldeo in.

>>11891

My Grand Quest - Become King/Queen of the weebs

>>11891

Notes - Genocide and world domination seems like a tall order with the perks given, but I'll go for it since the challenge is part of the appeal in letting other people choose your own adventure. If anything it's the fact that some aspects of the perks/quest seem to try to dictate other aspects, like how the language one is trying to dictate that my companions speak a specific language, and the quest one tries to limit the gas perk to a race even though the gas perk already specifies 'a group of your choosing' which already seems like a similar but more flexible limitation. I"ll also endure this stuff, even though it's arguably BS to tack on extra things like this none of it particularly breaks my plans too bad. Here we go.

Plan - Firstly I'm not sure if weird edgy teens is a one use perk or if it's a shape shifting perk, the second would be much cooler but the lack of clarification I'll lean towards the more limited version just to be fair. I turn into Nepeta, alien cat-girl waifu of the homestuck fandom. One of the Kemonomimi turns me into a kemonomimi version of that to make me a more proper alien cat-girl.

The kemonomimi will consist of Four girls and Two guys. Two feline girls, One canine girl, One mouse girl, One feline guy and One canine guy. For those of you curious.

>Phase 1

will be the first build up phase as the perks while helpful and some fun, are not great for an immediate assault. I'll get one of the kemonomimi to attempt to teach me their language proper. I'm hoping that I can 'for real learn' languages outside of the translation perk so I can get better words across than shitty translations. Since nothing in the perk prohibits this outright I'll assume for the rest of the strategy that I can in fact do this. And if I am prohibited then I'll just try my best to communicate regardless.

The home from the statue perk will be my main base, being hidden is very helpful. I'll begin an online business of figurine crafting and videos of the figurines moving and playing out action scenes and other stuff using my command ability. It will seem like the best stop motion style animated series online, and fans will wonder how 3D animation is made to look so much like real figures since no way you can do actual stop motion fast enough to pump out episodes as fast as I will, even computer generated would be a stretch. With merchandise and DVD sales and even duplicate figurines from the show's characters I'll have more than enough money to pay for food and all the other stuff that I want. Plus with cable and internet always covered I'm sure I'll be making enough to cover for my future plans.

The anime fighting style figures will also double for security in case someone for any godly reason tries to attack, but it's both hidden base and I won't show my face online so no homestuck haters will have any reason to want to punch my face. Well, hopefully that effect is triggered by sight anyway… if not we're still in a hidden base. I'll also have built a few larger size statues for backup security as well, and Landorus-Therian will be there as good protection even before I start building. That and my kemonomimi friends will be packing heat just in case as well.

>Phase 2

I'll start expanding my business to help publish and fund other people's works. Using one of the catgirls to search specifically for homestuck fans who are also artists to focus as the first one I reach out to for deals, as with my perk it'll just make things much easier to deal with as many homestuck fans as possible. The doggirl will be put in charge of more mundane business details and keeping an eye on legal matters, she'll be more of the CEO and manager of the company while I act as head creative lead for internal projects as well as co-owner of the company and leading the general plans for where to take the company next. To assert my holding as the Weeb Queen the projects choosen will also have a prefrence for eastern-styled projects and anything anime-esk.

The other kemonomimis will have various jobs in the company as well, such as the mouse girl being in charge of customer relations, and etc. They will also obviously all be my lovers. We'll try to balance out the fun/work/evil plot stuff as well as we can. I mean you can call it a harem if you want, but I'll be trying to treat them all as well as possible and probably going for a little bit more than just that for what they mean to me.

I will also always be accompanied by at least one of them but preferably 2-3 of them at any time. No exceptions, I will bathe with them and they will always be with me even in the bathroom. Being combat trained and also loving me they will probably not want to risk me getting hurt if they can prevent it, so they will be happy to spend time with me as well as keep guard and fight if it is nessicary.

At this phase I'll also attempt to learn Japanese properly so I can interact with anime and manga without subtles or translations, a very helpful thing for a Weeb Queen. I'll use this ability to help connect japanese indie artists with local translation writers and get them both under my employ. Slowly but surely I'll build up a business filled with anime and weeb artists, perferablly the majority of which would be entranced by my looks because they are fellow homestuck trash.

>Phase 3

Next is to push plans further past just building up my own business empire, which to be fair could already be nearly enough to conquer the world financially as it was. We'll want to secure that victory though. First I will use skinpaint/hats to pass for a normal enough looking person (or if weird edgy teens is a flexible perk I just turn off the Nepeta look for this visit which is even better) to try to avoid the punching effect and have a decent enough disguise to minimize suspciousness as I visit some disney parks. I"ll pass by most of the merchandise stores but never enter one to avoid further suspcioun, as who would assume someone would have the magical power to command toys, instead of making robots or something? I'll constantly activate action figures and the likes within 50ft of me, but only focus on the small ones since they have a 2 Day limit. Once I'm done visiting the park, getting on a few rides and doing other fun stuff to look like just another vistor, I'll head back home and during noon the next day, since they'd still probably have half a day-ish left under my influnce would command them all to wreck as much havoc as possible.

This will be a PR disaster the likes of which Disney will be surely wounded. Almost the entire park's worth of toys and miniture statues will be destroying their own property and attacking civilians seems like either a big breach of security or an intentional attempt to attack their own customers. The toys will be ordered to try to avoid deaths and major injuries for the most part just in case I want to enslave those people later, or any of my employees just happen to be vacationing there. The chaos will be enough to hurt their reputation. Not to mention the property damage, and a handful of more powerful action figures (like buzz lightyears with lazers) will be sent to systematically cause damage, forcing high repair costs as well assuming they don't abandon the park entirely.

I will vacation to several disney parks all over after this event, but for each time I pull this off I"ll spend 3-5 visits without triggering this event so I'll look less related to the toy attacks. Hopefully It'll take very few of these to force Disney's profits low enough to buy out their company, and few enough that no one will even think I was involved since I"d be another face in the crowd. As the new owner of one of the previous largest media companies and the most dangerous enemy in terms of businesses, I would announce that I would crack down on whatever was resposible for these attacks to try to prevent them and bring Disney back to it's previous glory. Of course, at this point I would no longer set up the attacks, and try hard not to use disney related statues for my plans unless in a dire situation and needing protection.

>Phase 4

Once I am owner of my own company and Disney as well, I will agressively buy out a large amount of anime based businesses. I will leave a good number of businesses on their own though, enough that I won't seem too monopolizing. I'll even attempt to stay on friendly terms with the other companies I have not bought out, and focus on building up the ones that I have along with building disney's brand back up. Lucky for me one of the companies to buy out will be VIS Media, as they have access to Homestuck but are also mainly an anime company, so I will have access to the thing that I appeal to the fans of. To complete the weeb/homestuck connection to my full benefit, I will begin projects to create manga and anime versions of homestuck's story.

With Homestuck now having a spot in the Weeb side of geekiness, I can fully claim Weeb Queen Status. As soon as I conquer the world of course, but I feel like this is an important step themeatically. The Homestucks will love me and I will make sure there will always be more of it. (Just as much for myself as them).

I will also have part of the company work on advanced computer driven toys and figures, after a certain amount of time has passed since the disney parks disasters and ensure we are keeping a close eye to make sure there is not a repeat of such problems. I'll make sure it's closely monitored too becaues I don't want anyone other than me messing with things in that sort of way.

>Phase 5

Once my business empire is secured, I'll focus on adjusting the rest of the world to my favor. I'll use a combination of my translation to listen in to foriegn news, as well as international news stations and a few translators to make sure any foriegn news is not too terribly misinterepeted to keep an eye out for conflicts I can take advantage of. Whenever there's a war or gunfight or anything that goes down, I'll make a decision to either stay out of it or send out some more statues of mine. These statues will be mostly medium and sometimes large size (It doesn't specify what is small/medium/large so I don't know which is human size). They will be hidden in certain places out of sight in my business places, and I will take a liking to using characters like Martian Manhunter or Danny Phantom that can be deployed invisiblly so there would be almost no tracking their origin being from me, and a few speedsters like the Flash for their speed should be similar to that even if their abilities are weakened. I'll make care to try to avoid using characters of my own company's ownership so people won't think it's another Disney toy attack from my own company or something.

The statues will pretend to be heroic but their actions will help spread the bloodshed. As much as I dislike unnesicary bloodshed my goal does include genocide, which sucks entirely. People that are already warring with each other or acting violently in such ways will probably not be great for integrating in my final kingdom's design so it is an acceptable loss. The statues will also create as much collateral damage as possible to help cripple both sides and other countries in general in case I am forced into direct conflict with them before I wish to engage in the endgame, or to help with the endgame if things go well. I will also rotate which statues I use for this purpose and rotinely melt down the original statues used every 2-6 weeks of service to destroy evidence connecting it back to me.

If possible I will send the ghost-style statues to quietly and secretly dismantle all nuke weapons with their invisibility and intangibility though this will probably be attempted only after I use them to check for where all the nukes are hidden and for any extra ones no one is admiting to, and then done all in one mission to try to get them all dismantled in 12 hours so that I need not to fear of a random nuclear countermeasure. After this is done I will reguarlly send out invisible/intangable danny phantoms or simialr statues to double chcek that these weapons are not being rebuilt or to interupt any attemps to do so.

If any asians are involved in these conflicts, the statue warriors will fight for their side and try to minimize asain death and damage to asain property. If asians are fighting asians then they will act as heroically and non-violently as possible to stop the bloodshed.

>Phase 6

With nuclear weapons hopefully taken out of the game at this point, as well as probably using the cover of war and interfering super people statues to help stat the genocide efforts I can plot out the end game more specifically. Anyone that can be confirmed to be a homestuck is weirdly attracted to me and so will be automatically listed down as high-tier slaves for the future kingdom, and this list will be kept off any internect connected devices to prevent anyone discovering the plans. Anyone that is not a fan and is also not a hater, but is a fan of other cartoons and anime and products from my companies will be considered highly for mid and lower tier slavery.

Anyone that seems to have legitmate and consistant hate for homestuck will be automatically violent towards me due to the perk, and so are prime targets for killing. As competent as my kemonomimi lovers are in combat, I prefer to have them by my side to keep me and themselves protected just in case. If they ever get trigger happy I can always set up some target practice for them, maybe a few moving statues in a room for a real challenge. That sounds fun and I could write a lot on ideas for that alone but back to the real goal. So I'll rely, as usual, on my statue ability, which is fucking amazing btw.

I'll probably use a combination of ghost type statues as well as occasionally activating smaller toys from toy stores when I check through malls or if I'm being driven through a town. Both strategies from before but for the smaller toys it'd be less of total chaos like before and more a small soliders assassination situation. They will target the assassination targets, mostly homestuck haters as said before, though some will focus on attacking military bases in secret, sabotaging weaponry and supplies in a similar fashion to how I did the nukes, so I can weaken armies. Gundam models and similar mech/sci-fi figurine would be perfect for this. Basically Gundam Build Fighters but with more evil toy story rules. The small toys will be dispatched in smaller numbers as well to help with stealth as much as possible.

>Phase 6.1

Now the vast majority of people on earth should probably know about homestuck since I'd be pumping the anime through Disney channels and online, the manga and original comic through every store I can get it in, and advertising the everyloving shit out of it. If my goals were slightly different I probably wouldn't be nearly this agressive and just let the fandom enjoy it, but since we're talking world domination here I need to be sure what EVERYONE feels about it. I'll even push charity efforts to make sure everyone is able to get access to the internet to make sure I have access to them. I will become akin to the batterwitch herself.

A proxy company would be started, a super villainous medium size statue would be the 'head' and work in underdealings. I would start activating him semi-reguarlly, not as often as the ghosts that keep the nukes and major military firepower down but often enough to puppeteer him during free time to interact with the gangs and criminal underground. Since the teleport back to their origin unharmed, all I have to do is make sure they don't locate his origin point (hidden somewhere off of my own company's property obviously.) and he'll be an unstoppable gang leader, a voice box to communcate and enough weapons on him to deal with any action movie situation. Other gangs would either join willingly and add to my second secret company's wealth and power, or be destroied for refusing, further getting rid of those that would only incite violence on my path to world domination.

I would start with the western world's mafia and work my way through until at last I take over the asian mafias, preferablly by partnership and merging. Now the entire world's underground would be under my puppet's control and I can basically use my puppet to send hits out on a significantly larger number of people without worrying about it being visibly connected back to me.

>Phase 6.2

Have the gangs start producing counterfit versions of sci-fi figurines and other crap like that. Why shouldn't the gangs take advantage of the money making powers of merch, especially when official merch supply often doesn't meet demand? No one would think anything of a world hopping creative who just happens to pass by shipments of mafia owned merch that ends up going off and attacking people. They'd just think the mafia somehow found out how to rig toys as weapons, some sort of drone and robot force in miniature.

They must be getting bold too, sending hordes of these little robots after all military bases that aren't being constantly harrased by 'ghosts'. Knock off super villains with guns and blasters and swords, tiny mechs shooting missles and cutting through metal with lasers, plushies distracting the hell out of people so the others can get through. Governments will become more and more desperate as all their security and fighting forces die out. There already was major losses from previous wars having super heros show up and mysterous assassinations all around and there's constant direct assault from the gangs.

Figures smuggled on specific trains and planes and trucks that happen to pass me perfect for spreading them far and wide closer to their targets. While the world grows bleaker I keep up the chairty act and helping out with whatever I can from a major media company. While the world is going to hell I am a shinging light of hope.

>Phase 6.3

The darkest of times has begun. With the world drastically weakend by war, mysterious killings, and out of control mafia, a new source of evil rears it's heat. The Batterwitch. Drones for her imperial army start swarming out into the world, capturing some and culling others. Politicans and government, as well as any remaining military are targeted heavily and civilians along the way are not spared. While they wouldn't realize it at first the majority of those spared and captured for their usefulness as slaves are those who are fans of homestuck. Non-fans are also chosen for this but those who fight back too much out of this secondary group are made examples out of, and those that hate it (however few survived the constant assassinations) are culled without hesitation. Military and government, especially higher rankings are culled regardless of this primary rating system programed in their circuit boards.

The drones are obviously not really from the troll witch, but built in a secret underground factory which was originally built by other controlled statues to minimize the number of those who could possibly know about it, with supplies for the drone's construction slowly leaked in over this entire multi-point plan by other statue minions. With the gang's extra un-connected figures, Some of the bigger ones found themselves helpping bring in even more to the factory to ensure enough drones could be built before starting this phase. These drone human size figures would be kept in large long storage rooms along side the factory where we would hide and I would ride a golf cart past the lines of them to activate them to send them on their way.

Me and my kemonomimi are no where to be seen, the puppet mafia master has gone dark, and even the gang members are being targeted by drones.

>Phase 6.4

As most of the world is devistated by the alien robots, the last area not nearly as attacked is asia. There was initial attacks at the same time as the rest of the world, and the militaries and governments were taken over too. It had seemed though that most of the devistation was focused on other countries first. It would hardly take but a matter of hours for the drones to slaughter most of those they intended to. Even if it prolonged beyond that no military would be in the shape after the gangs and drones to figure out where the source of them were and they'd just be sent right back out again.

Then even the eastern countires get attacked. Not nearly as much, but enough to make sure everyone will think the entire world is under attack. The whole world is bleeding out. Homestucks may start fighting back but the drones would as non-lethally as possible try to rough them up to get them back in line. All seems lost, but then a hero emerges.

>Phase 7

A cool sci-fi super suit that I have crafted will be the statue I use to 'combat' these drones. Controlling the drones to seemingly fight my suit but fail and be defeated by my hands, finally there is hope. I will play the part of the hero. Claiming to have found some troll army super suit with which to even the fight a little. I'll blow through the armies of my own creation and eventually a puppeteered version of the Batterwitch will show up for the final fight.

It'll be an epic struggle, a long lasting battle. It will go one way then another multiple times. Ultimately I will slay her, fushia blood (which will be easy to put some fushia colored liquid in the figure of the Batterwitch) spilling all over and Nepeta standing victorious. The drones would flee without their mistress and I would have liberated the world from Alternia's menace. Kemonomimi in battle suits would have kept in range to use snipers and such to take out any tagets that got in range of this battle, with one filming this live to any broadcasts still playing.

With all other leaders dead and militaries gone, I would offer up to lead the world in this new time. Taking back the resources of my company and using it to help manage the new empire. Those that disagreed or sought control of the new world themselves would be hunted down by the puppet mafia's reapperance after all that alien non-sense or taken down by my kemonomimi guard squad harem if they managed to get that close. My new world as defined by the goals would have me, the kemonomimi's, my friends, and other asians at the benefit of a hiarchy, and other races on other teirs. I would claim to make the Beforus to the outside invasion's Alternia. The peaceful to their violent.

Holy shit was that a lot….

I am the adventurer

>>11909

That was awesome!

>>11938

Wonderful Camel:

In your past, a cracy camel merchant called Hassan sold you a barely used camel for cheap.

It is a pretty good camel.

You have the amazing ability to determine wether someone is plasted or not. You can also sniff drugs and bombs like some sort of police dog.

>>11938

>Robo-Girl

You are now a robotic girl with all the advantages and disadvantages that comes with. You will default to a elementary school child sized robot, with a handful of basic weapons and other tools. You can interface directly with computers both wirelessly (within 10 Miles) or by a direct plug in connection (yes it will feel naughty.)

Any other transformative or shapeshifting perks will not fully cancel out the robotic womanhood. Becoming 'organic' in any way will make you an android, becoming a 'male' in any way will make you a dick girl, becoming other types of non-humans will make you a robot/android version of that, but age/size changes are fully allowed.

>>11938

>Lamaj and Erioioire

Two grizzled detectives, supporting you from the sidelines. They won't often directly come to your aid, but you can call them any time you need assistance.

Lamaj has a thin frame. Quick and quick-witted, he's often the first to find clues and evidence, and the first to put two and two together. In dire straits, you could even call on him if you need someone offed. Just don't expect him to be much use in a firefight.

Erioioire is the brawns, but by no means is he dumb muscle. Lamaj specializes in quick thinking, but Erioioire is the one to call if you need something planned out or researched in depth. Give him 24 hours and he could solve almost any problem you throw at him. Everything he does takes a while, but there's never been a situation that he hasn't brought back results from. If you need a bodyguard, he's your man. Just don't expect him to be able to sneak around much.

You're only able to call upon one of them for assistance at a time, and at a limit of once per day.

>>11938

> The Rule of Toon

In dire or sinister situations, you have the special passive ability to ward off danger through cartoon logic and gags. Distract or outsmart villains (when they normally wouldn't be), survive deadly attacks by being plucky (or so stupid it's funny). Bend reality to cater to your jokes.

Gain a stronger sense of humor.

Does not make you invincible, nor does it protect you 100%. Time your jokes and save the best for last, or else risk being unfunny and thus unprotected.

Here is your adventure, adventurer:

The self-proclaimed "Greatest Wizard to have ever lived" I.M. Meen has kidnapped your two robot friends in an underground dungeon in one of his libraries after seeing them study and being goody-goodies. Unfortunately, you don't know where your friends and I.M. Meen are located. It is a race against time as your friends' batteries will run out in three months time and cause them to lose all their memories, autumn has just started. He will periodically send you and your detectives letters taunting you with horrible english grammar and often threats and complaints as you make progress.

Time to give my quest everyone!

>>12052

Thanks for letting me know.

>>12060

Just kidding, it was your quest.

Here is your sixth perk:

You have been transported back in time to when anime protagonists were still manly and had distinct appearances. You happen to have 8 rare, highly valuable VHS tapes of subtitled anime never released outside of japan. Everyone who you show them to will recognise their value, and you might be able barter for them, but they mean even much more to you. Should you manage to complete the quest, you will be able to watch them with your friends.

>>12066

>You have been transported back in time to when anime protagonists were still manly

When was that again?

>>12070

The 90s obviously

>>12014

>>12066

This plain is going to take a little bit so this what I got so far. I haven't watched YTPs in a while so keep that in mind. I hope you guys like it! You can go on without me. Who is the next adventurer?

Also used this and the robot has a few other none combat stuff. >>11849

>electric anatomy with free taser

>sensors

>hidden arsenal, but only starts with the arm blade and emp arm cannon

>personal computer

>translator

>hacking tools, but weaker

Some wizard bastard stole my friends after a internet battle with him and his friends about either Pokemon or Yu-Gi-Oh being better. He sent me a letter with pre-school level grammar telling me that he kidnaped my friends and if I don’t find them in three months it will prove that Yu-Gi-Oh is in fact better and I have to give him the inner dimensional anime tapes.

Backstory time! Me and my buddies were kidnaped by a time traveler otaku and he turned us into robo girls. He said something about us not being born yet so no one would look for us. After dealing with his pervert games, embarrassing private concerts, pit fighting against much stronger robots because he was too lazy to to upgrade us, and general batshit insanity for years we found a way out, but not after destroying is house and raiding is shit. This fat fuck had literally everything so we had too! We stole about 60 tapes of his. 8 are our holy grails. Not only did our weeb took us back to the 90’s; we went into another timeline. These tapes don’t exist here! I promised my friends that we will watch them when had the time before we upload them. I’m very busy with my detective job so we couldn’t watch them yet.

Back to our wizard friend! He also said that his friends are going to help him defeat me because it very fair to do that to a child. At least he gave me a general location, kind of. There was some blacklight ink on the letter I was taught to notice by my detective friends. I turned on my blacklight vision I got my first clue.

“The chaos that reach the sky am i Made be of what be below you once if you lived in the tree in g and around then like me”

Well then! This is easy! After searching online for “tree in g” I found him. Gaithersburg, Maryland. I believe he’s in a tower as well. Not because The Tower represents chaos in tarot card reading, but because of course he is. I can’t find him though the internet because the shithead put up some spell to prevent that and I don’t have tech to get thorough.

Time to make him regret his existence, everybody!

>>12167

I’m going need a few updates if am going to take him on. I have a few things sure, but it’s mostly just tools. I’m going put my loli robo looks to good use raise money for my first upgrade. I’m going to hack a major concert organization’s computers and push out some faggot for myself. Hey it’s for my friends! The time traveler uploaded about 3,000 songs into me to sing so I’m going to search online for the songs that don’t exist here and use them. He also uploaded dance moves too, btw. I’m going tell the musician’s to pretend to play their instruments and hack everything I can for the stage show.

Now you may ask “how the fuck are you going to fill seats?” Easy! There’s high tech scalping sites like StubHub that will buy the first wave of tickets, I hack their sites to put me up top, and then the audience will buy the tickets.

For extra cash I’ll search the backstreets for drug dealers and “ask” them to sell their merchandise at the concert and give me a piece of the pie. I will start a drug cartel afterwards.

After my concert I will go into a Dibella building buy the cheaper Athena-U1 upgrade to get a more advanced Matrix uploading module. I can’t give anyone else the Matrix treatment and I cannot upload that much into my brain, but fuck it it’s enough!

I will connect myself to the internet to torrent a program to learn how to hack without leaving a trace of myself. I uploaded a few other skills, but that’s for later. The next step is to go to a very rich district to long distance hack their PayPal apps to obtain millions of dollars. Then I go back buy more stuff at Dibella

Now then, the upgrades! >>11976

>temporal accelerator

>bullet proof

>plasma cannon

>upgraded hand taser

>spatial folder

>propulsion system

>enhanced body

>the other weapons some the myroid cyoa

I still had cash left over so I did two things. I made two teleporters and one checkpoint teleporter. One for myself and one for the detectives to share. Then I made my pet camel I was forced to buy at the park years ago into a wonderful camel. I uploaded the genetic engineering and camel skills so I gave my camel bulletproof skin, skinless wings that are shaped like blades that can’t fly and only kill people, made the milk like acid attached special cannons to the camel’s sides so it can launch acid milk, and I made the back more comfortable to sit on. With the tele-link I can also talk with the camel.

Finding the tower was very easy because I pinpointed the location. It’s been a month to this shit better pay off.

>>12168

When I went into the tower someone named Gnorris said he was going help me with my quest. Thanks bro! He said to "Find the scrolls and save the children. Okay, seems easy. He then gave me a crystal orb so I can talk to him later. After punching up spiders I ran into a fucking fire wand and the first scroll. What! This is a nice dungeon! Gnick told me that fixing his grammar and spelling will fuck with Meen's magic. Did that and fixed his first letter too! After I did that I door opened a young girl came out. Huh? I should had known Meen would kidnap more kids. After killing trolls with their own clubs, fixing more grammar, and finding some exploding fruit I found someone. Some young boy beating up monsters with his fists! His name is Scott and he told me the wizard kidnaped his entire school because hates learning and children. Scott also told me that the scrolls said the wizard was librarian and he thinks Meen is weird. No kidding!

We found the key and are on our way to the next floor. After we got there there we were confronted with a Spongebob with a bowl cut and an entire legion of Chinese soldiers. All this for one person! "Who in the fuck are you guys!?" I shouted. "I am a good friend of I. M. Meen, Chinese SpongeBob and this is just a spec of The Chinese People's Liberation Army. We are here to correct your ways of preferring Pokemon over Yu-Gi-Oh and your insipid and vile love of Japan." ChinaBob said. "Who cares if I like Japan you nosey cunt! Just let me though! You're just jealous they are better than you!" They said nothing. They only stared. "Fine, I guess I won." I walked through, but they started to get closer to us. Then I heard a sound. Heavy breathing from ChinaBob. "You really think you can deny us!?" "Absolutely I can! When I start my drug cartel I will make China my base just to piss off your ghosts! I will get the entire country hooked on opium and once again China will fall the Western powers as they should be!" ChinaBob then grew and twisted his body into a dragon. "Die you imperialist running dogs!"

I grabbed Scott and my camel and ran as fast could. I unleashed the blade arm to slice the soldiers. It worked, but then a bubble(?) captured our asses and we went to the ceiling. The blade can't pop it, the guns can't, the lasers can't. "Fire!" "WTF is thi-AAAAHHH!" But their guns can. "Is this thing a like a magic mirror!?" "It sure is. The Chinese invented this special bubble soap." "Sure you did!" The nanoflex can hold out but the camel can't. I need to get out now. I placed my hands on the top. "Scott throw all the bomb at them when the camel's cannons are fired, okay?" I tele-link told the camel what to do. "Watch me destroy your bubble!" I flew up beyond fast, rubbing the top. And then… "The robot vibrated though!" Screamed a soldier. Plasma cannon out. "The bubble popped!" Said the same dude. Before they landed the camel fired the cannon milk and the kid bombed them. I used the gatlings. Everyone died a painful burning death.

>>12170

Continuing through the dungeon we started to hear some bone chattering. Skeletons.

*chatter* *chatter* *chatter* *chatter*

The skeleton was in the corner. *swipe* Upset it wasn't a skeleton, it was death! "AHHH! Oh fucking God! How did this happen!" I almost shot it with my railgun, but Scott punched him and he disintegrated. "WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK!?" Scott then called me a "little bitch" and we kept going.

Me and the crew walked up to the next door and then Gnorris called us. "Be very, very careful in there! The next boss is the VeggieTales Mafia. Talking vegetables that hate humanity for eating them. If they turn you guys into vegetables and they will feed to the trolls. They are very mad that you killed all those humans back there because they wanted to enslave them." One hit and I'm dead huh? I'm going to need to think this one through. I hit my checkpoint teleporter in a rug. "Guys we need to come back." Later that night a got my idea. The next day I went through with it.

I went to a nearby music festival and gathered up everyone that was high or drunk and stuffed them into my spatial folder. After we teleported back to the door and told the degenerates the one that eats the most vegetables will give them a mountain of smack to sit on. I opened the door, threw about 20 bags of vegetables inside and they ran in. The chaos was magical. A talking tomato was zapping the junkies, a cucumber was trying to save a normal tomato, some junkies tried to eat humans, some thought they were still at the festival and danced, someone thought he was a dj, the tomato shot them, but they were too high to feel pain, and a broccoli was running away from someone that wanted to "get revenge for the Rhubarb Pie Dynasty". After they killed over some troll came and I shot him.

To be continued