I'm so indescribably angry with the world. Noone knows or cares what's going on. I go on youtube and every channel I'd watch is just white guys like me except they're so deep into escapism they're acting in little skits based upon a new chapter coming out for a manga or something, and their whole room is filled with merch and garbage, or they're speedrunners, and you can just tell they have done absolutely nothing for the past 7 plus years but waste their life. I go on twitter and I see females who would be women 50 years ago, walk the SSRI and abortion filled path to psychopathy, advertising their onlyfans account in one all lowercase tweet and joking about their white male father's death in another, and I know they number in the millions. I see some bitter looking black women with corny ass hair go on CNN and tell the straight faced anchor lady all white people should die, etc, etc, I then remember my sense of right and wrong is so raped that I just scroll right past it. These things are happening, no doubt about it. They don't want you dead… want you gored, raped, and eaten alive. Imagine all the anger of the world, every liveleak video you were sent in a group chat and watched halfway through, every falling out with every friend, remember this when I propose there isn't enough anger and hatred in the world to direct to what is happening. I feel no man can in a hundred lifetimes describe the evil that we just have to live with. I know I am wrong in thinking there's anything to be gained in dwelling upon this, and that those who thirst for justice must be grateful to have Him to trust in, and mercy for themselves, also. But this is what I struggle with. By nature of modernity, it seems like the impossibility of impossibilities to even attempt to bring into words the hatefulness and anger this world wards. Am I weak, or immature for welling up at the thought of how many children right now are just watching MK ULTRA kids shows full of bdsm fart balloon fetish antics? How in all of media they're hard at work to try and cut off the very root of love in human beings and gore the family unit? Will this world last another 30 years, should it? How many people are out here going about their lives without an ounce of love, trudging through pure death but numbed enough with vice never to know it? It's enough to drive a man insane. I have to do something. Whether it's [in minecraft] or not, I understand why people do that. I know that's also only one part of it. Even if I fulfill my purpose according to God's will, and I cooperate in every way, I don't know if there's going to be anything in the future. It's all so uncertain, which is a negative variable in and of itself, but this uncertainty is also codependent on a hundred other potentially world ending scenarios. I know I sound vague but I don't want to hear the words trans rights from the people I love, and I don't want to just be forced through situational circumstances and etiquette to just sigh and move on as if that isn't a small murder in and of itself. That's a nightmare come true, I'd rather get my arm cut off. This world is coming to an end, and we are the ones who have been bestowed mercifully with what to do, but even so, what do I do? This is intolerable. How do I see these things and justify just strolling past it and watching a movie, calmly write something up, anything? It's as if the extreme nature of modernity itself has thrown a wrench in the workings of my conceptualization of the world. Things are not alright. How do you cope?