ah crap

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ah crap † 06/15/20 (Mon) 20:47:50 c03afb No.837699

Anyone else feeling.. odd for the past few weeks? Feels like I have been tested thoroughly. I am left feeling like a fudgeing husk. Just sitting here sapped of all energy, drive, motivation, strength.

I just sit here in an endless fudgeing loop praying to God for mercy and strength. I feel like I was given some wisdom a few weeks ago, like the holy spirit itself entered me. I was writing and thinking things that were.. profound. And now I feel fudgeing drained.

I want no more wisdom, I am fudged up. I remember praying for it for a long time, but I want no more wisdom, I can't fudgeing handle it. Like a human brain was hooked up to a super-computer. I feel utterly zapped, like a different person now. Everything seems new, and I am fudgeing stuck here just empty feeling. No history of mental illness. I feel fudged up right now. Just wanted to see if anyone else felt this. I can hardly think straight right now. It has been a hell of a fudgeing ride. I prayed for wisdom on how to help the world, now I am thinking maybe God showed me why I cant. I only trust him now, only wisdom I need. oh my fudge im a mess.

Fudge.

____________________________

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† 06/15/20 (Mon) 20:51:38 c03afb No.837700

It feels like time is non-existent before now. My memories are all like they are from a different life.

I am not crazy, I am a normal dude. I prayed endlessly for years, then prayed intensely for how to help people in a way that actually leaves the world in a better place. then I had a streak of some days where I was thinking the most profound thoughts, like a sage 500 year old monk who had seen the world many times over.

Now I am fudged.

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† 06/15/20 (Mon) 20:57:22 c03afb No.837701

I feel like I was shown the literal reason why "bad things happen to good people" and "why bad things exist" and "why you should trust God"

and it was fudging.. surreal. I want off the ride, I have sought wisdom for decades. and I just want to sniff flowers now. I am done.

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† 06/15/20 (Mon) 21:43:50 44a033 No.837708

YouTube embed. Click thumbnail to play.

>>837700

>how to help people in a way that actually leaves the world in a better place

There is no need for it, what matters is the will of the Father who cares for us. Look at the flowers of the field. They bloom regardless of their impending destruction, caring not for their inevitable withering away.

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† 06/16/20 (Tue) 15:01:11 22bf16 No.837857

Unless you can provide concrete examples of some of the profound things you claim wrote down I have reason to believe that it was all an delusion and you were never as smart as you thought.

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† 06/16/20 (Tue) 17:58:31 5fab32 No.837873

>>837699

same, i think might be drinking to much caffiene gonna try cut down,

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