Just before Wu Flu, I was laying in bed. I don't know if I was dreaming or almost asleep, but in my mind I could see the far wall of my bedroom, and standing there was Yaldabaoth. I was baptised a few years ago now, and every day I try to improve and get sin out of my life. I fail, a lot, but ever since this happened I've begun drinking far more often , and I started looking at porn again.
I don't want to do these things, but it's like part of me is distracting me while I do these things. Then afterwards I just feel gross and horrible.
Yaldabaoth ever said that I was weak and would be broken. That I would be lost.
I don't know where else to talk about this, but I think about him/a lot too. Like I just keep saying the name in my head. I want it to stop. Can I get a prayer Bros? Also, any advice?