>>51471
Honestly, there may be many causes for this change in your emotional state. It could even be something as simple as a nutrient deficiency. Seriously, people underestimate how much their mood is influenced by what goes on in their body (food, sleep, hormones, etc). The lack of motivation and desire is a common symptom of low testosterone levels, for example. But age also plays a role: our goals and priorities often shift as we grow older.
For what it's worth, I share your dream of becoming immortal, though I've never performed a magic ritual. Were you an alchemist? I suggest that you search for Aubrey de Grey on Youtube, he's a scientist who's trying to make us all immortal (and there are others like him).