>be me
>be underweight and unfortunately naturally feminine male
>Have friend
>friend is much bigger than me and brings up how he could kill me if he wanted to as a joke all the time
>go to party with said friend
>friend drugs your drink and rapes you in his car
>Don't sleep for two nights in a row because you cannot stop thinking about what he did
>stop eating and going outside
>stop showering for days on end
>one of your friends sends you a video of you getting brutally raped while you are half unconscious
>find out video has been spread to practically everyone you talk to
>everyone who has gotten the video was told I was consenting
>don't speak out and tell people what really happened because the rapist fuck knows how to get into your house (low income apartment issues kek) and knows your daily routine
>fear that rapist will just straight up kill you if people hear the truth
what is the best path for me to take?
Should I just kill him and then myself?