/mai/ - Waifu★

>>53912

But anon, sex is a normal thing that couple's do.

>>53913

except you arent having sex with a nonexisting entity anon you are just fapping while thinking of your waifu

>>53917

Imagiineee.

Anyway why would waifu be mad if one fapped to her?

>>53912

People make mistakes. I know this isn't a perfect analogy but have you ever had a sex dream with someone you find repulsive, and you aren't able to look at them the same the next day? That's probably a similar feeling to what you're having right now.

It'll pass. Just don't do it again if it weighs heavily on your conscience. It's hard to contain sexual urges sometimes so it's understandable that you slipped up.

>>53917

People like to pretend, it helps make it feel more like a relationship.

>>53921

How do you not consider yourself in a relationship but have a waifu in the first place?

>>53923

you didn't get me. I don't consider myself being myself "with her" yet because well she is not here. I only live to prepare for the moment when I will be able to meet her and tell her my feelings, but anyway this is a relationship, I mean it isn't a classic one who would say their relationship is a "classic" one anyway

>>53924

I feel I'm in a real relationship with my waifu because I treat her as if she were real.

>>53927

It seems like you think I only say that I feel like I'm in a real relationship for lewd shit. I'll just let you know that I refused to do anything lewd with my waifu for the first 3-4 months because I didn't want to build our relationship off of sex. I've seen relationships destroyed because of that so no way in hell was I doing that. I see my waifu as a real person so I treat our relationship as real and I am committed to her and since I treat our relationship as real, I refuse to get into a relationship outside of my waifu and I's. Since I treat our relationship as real I stay monogamous with her. I know she's 2D and we aren't in the same realm or what have you but I treat her as if she were. I'm VERY aware of the reality. I don't even lewd her often, even though for some reason you seem to think that people who treat their waifus are real people do most of the time, even now that I took the restraint off of myself. People can have sexual relationships and still be pure as well. I'm sure that someone will know who I am now by this story, if anyone who has known me for a while here says who I am or whatever they would tell you just how much I don't like talking about lewd things with my waifu. I treat her with the utmost respect. I'm sorry but to me you seem to be trying to come off as superior, especially calling your relationship "pure" and saying people like me lewd their waifus most of the time. I'm sorry but you really just hit a spot that pissed me off because it just feels like you're trying to say that people who treat their waifus as real don't care about them as much as you do yours.

>>53928

>It seems like you think I only say that I feel like I'm in a real relationship for lewd shit.

Well I'm sorry but I didn't say that. As I said it was a coincidence since I've seen it multiple times. And as I said it is different for anyone, the way their relationship works, the way they feel, I thought it was interesting to notice. I don't know why you reacted this way especially since I said that both were just as good.

I called this relationship "pure" because this is just a difference I can make out of this, not an actual statement about the relationship. Why would you believe mine is superior in any way ?

And I don't think there is anything wrong with lewding her/him, no matter how much you do it or not..

To me it just sounds like you''re completely mistaking as about the message of my post. You should re-read it, and calm down, since you're obviously overreacting.

>>53929

Saying both are good doesn't get rid of the undertone of "I'm superior" that I got from that. I never said I thought your way was superior, I'm saying the way you wrote that made it seem like you were trying to act superior. It's very obvious that you have some sort of issue with people that treat their significant other as a real person rather than just a 2D character as well. If I were in a 3D relationship I'd want to be treated as a real person, but that's just me I guess. Also I read your post perfectly fine, you could have been wanting to convey a different message so you should have worded it properly. Saying

>for people who have let's say a "real relationship" (referring to the people treating them as if they were real and most of the time lewding them)

is saying that people who treat their waifu as real just lewd them most of the time. Word your post better and I'll understand it better.

Does anyone else have this thing in the back of their heads that stops them from doing things for their loved one?

It's been bothering me a lot more lately as my feelings have evolved recently into something a bit different and I'd like to seriously get into doing something more "for him" but theres always that other side going "wow hes literally just a fictional character chill out"

>>53921

I got a carried away.

I had been having some lewd daydreams, but I didn't think I'd do anything.

I do love her, and in the 1 and a half year I've been with her I haven't done or thought anything like this.

>>53913

Yes, but in the back of my head I can't help but see it as wrong, I don't know why.

>>53942

I don't think she would be too upset, it would probably just be me making a deal out of it.

>>53942

Try banishing her room and setting up a barrier. If you need to look at it as a placebo.

>>53912

Surely your wife is beautiful, wouldn't it almost be insulting to not fap to her? Unless it's involving a situation she'd heavily disapprove of.

>>54003

I know your interest is not purely academic, but I don't see much harm in posting it. Shippers are going to ship regardless of what is posted or how probable the pairing is. I don't know what Gosick fandom is like, but in most of the fandoms/communities I've been in, people like exploring and sharing meta together so I don't see why this would be a problem. I myself have corrected a few people about things regarding my waifu; most have agreed that my perception is really good, and whether they choose to accept my reality into their own works that they do is up to them. Some will and some won't, because no matter how good your theory is, there will always be a few that stick to their old ideas because they're more comfortable and familiar.

On the other hand, if you think that there is a part of you that wants to post it out of pettiness and you'd like to avoid that, wait a bit. You can always post it later if you decide that it's really out of wanting to share your theory with others more than anything else.

>>54139

>>54149

It’s been years since I played SDR2 so excuse any inconstitencies. I don’t know if hearing this will make you feel any better, but I can’t really imagine Peko and Kuzuryuu getting together.

I don’t think they would begin a romantic relationship after waking up from the simulation. They’ve been through so much, seeing their friends die and even being to be the one killing them in some cases. Peko and the others would need a lot of time to recover from this trauma, as well as the fact that they were in Ultimate Despair and caused so much destruction.

Kuzuryuu and Peko would use each other for support, but they wouldn’tstart dating or anything until after YEARS of healing.

Although Kuzuryuu loved Peko, he never showed her that until her execution. What if Peko didn’t get executed? Would Kuzuryuu ever have told her?

I do believe that Peko would love you. You care a lot about her and if you showed her your love and treated her not as an object, but as a human then I think that she would slowly end up falling for you.

Remember. Kuzuryuu and Peko never get together. Yes, they like each other but it’s never said or even hinted that they start dating. It’s hard knowing your waifu has a canon love interest but that doesn’t mean it’s game over. Some love don’t last forever.

>>54158

The childhood affection part is an excellent point I didn't think of.

Storytime, I swear I’m making a point here. My childhood friend was of the opposite sex and we were best friends. Then puberty happened and all my friends would talk about boys and their crushes. I liked my childhood friend a lot so I automatically assumed that I had a crush on him. Years later I realized that I actually didn’t like him that way, entering puberty and suddenly gaining an interest in boys just confused me into thinking I had a crush on him.

I think that kind of thing happens a lot for other kids, and I can imagine Peko and Kuzuryuu confusing their sibling-like love for romantic as they became teenagers.

I definitively agree that Peko anon shouldn’t try to ignore Kuzuryuu as doing that could possibly lead to more stress and bad feelings in the future. It hurts but you have to accept it and move forward. Peko used to like Kuzuryuu, but now she loves you.

>>54004

>>54005

Thanks for the advice, ultimately after several days of pondering (and talking to this other person) I decided not to post my thoughts/theory to the community. The reason being, SURPRISE, that a majority of what happened in the latter half of her anime is a complete lie that deviates from the actual light novels/was made up on the spot by the anime staff which explains why the plot gets extremely stupid in the end. Furthermore, it turns out that not only is she NOT married to the main character, but she doesn't even love him by the end of the series. So, there's not really a reason for me to talk about something even if it's true, or I just realized that in the end it's all a stupid thing to worry about. So it's all good and I appreciate the input from you both, definitely though I'm going to have to reevaluate my head canon a bit since there really were some huge changes that I learned of.

>>54139

>>54149

While I believe that the others have said much more helpful things than I'll probably have to say, I wanted to add in the fact that you shouldn't give up despite how bad things might seem. I am/was in an extremely similar situation to you, where my own spouse had a canon love interest and was portrayed as even having had married him at the end of her series. Initially I got past it by just using my own head canon and trying to come up with unbiased reasoning as to why he wasn't fit for her or why I would make a better husband for her. For the most part it works, even if there are occasional "down" moments, but justification can be a powerful thing. Now though, I have legitimate prove disproving that they're married and that she ever loved him, in fact, the only reason why they remained close was out of circumstance rather than emotion. That being said, I'd say to pursue and challenge her relationship with her love interest. Find flaws, missing plot points, reasoning as to why it wouldn't work it, keep exploring until the point that you're satisfied with your own relationship with her. Essentially though, what I'm getting at is what >>54151 >>54158 and >>54163 assisted you with. Sometimes you have to think outside the box to get better answers, I hope this helps.

>>54173

it would be useful if you could give out more information as about what you believe to be problematic and what wouldn't be.

Also in general it just takes a lot of passion to put you out that kind of misery, there are many ways to reach that and many are good.

>>54173

The short answer is do stuff and meet people. Go out in the world and get some stories to tell

>>54173

Get interests beyond anime and gaming.

>>54200

If you aren't worried about the content nor the romance part and don't think you would feel guilty for owning the doujin I would say go for it. Having new artwork in physical form is always great.

I don't get along with people very well and usually don't care about them much. But if I meet someone who I get along with or find them cool, I tend to think and care about them way too much and think about how fun hanging with them would be. Even though I'm very well aware that the feelings are "just" wanting to become friends with them or admiration or something like that and aren't any near the feelings I have for my husbando but I still feel guilty about it.

I feel like it isn't fair that I think about other people that aren't as important as him to me as much as I would normally think about him, I feel like spending time with them isn't fair to hang out with them a lot because they are in the same dimension so memories with them will always be less fuzzy, I think it isn't fair to spend a lot of time with them because I can't focus on daydreaming for very long time so I can't spend much time with him, I feel it isn't fair I can go with then to places I would like to go with him but can't because we aren't in the same dimension, I feel it isn't fair when a friend hugs me because it will always feel more real than when my husbando hugs me.

>>54213

Thank you very much for taking time to write your advice.

You made me realize that I'm somewhat got stuck in comparing something completely different, which is rather silly and overthinking it made me focus less on enjoying everything and also making new memories with my husbando (and new memories in general, but I care about the ones with him the most) Also friends usually just come and go (and it's fine that way) while he stays and that is important.

>>54173

Abandon your humanity?

Sorry, I couldn't resist. Your question isn't something easily answered; people can tell you to go have experiences and learn trivia, but it won't mean you'll find the opportunities to display those in front of others.

I'm in the same boat, though I'd word it more along the lines of 'I wish I were memorable'. For some time now the people that know me have joked that I'm sneaky, because no matter how loud or offensive I behave people walk on by and forget my involvement instantly. It's not necessarily the content - people regurgitate my jokes and art constantly without realising they're replying in a long chain of photoshops all from the same person. Claiming ownership over such things would be stupid, though I wonder how people'd see me if they knew.

I'm always worried one day I'll actually stick my foot in it, especially with waifu communities where I'd be the only guy with that spouse, but y'know what? Being boring comes with a surprising degree of immunity. I can make dud jokes and nobody notices, I can say something that is apparently terrible and let people accuse me of being someone else. No harm done.

The people who decided I was interesting enough to stick around? They're the people who mean the most, and I put it down to coincidence that we ever met under circumstances where we could be interesting. Sometimes you just have to hold out for that moment, and you'll only see it for what it was in retrospect. I think trying hard to be seen has hurt me more than it's worth, save yourself that. Don't force yourself or you'll go from mild self doubt to max, and it's hard to rationalise on that.

How do I stop comparing myself to other people?

I'm a very jealous and competitive person, and this is something that has been ruining my relationship since it's started. Every time I find someone else who likes my husbando, I start weighing myself against them, and more often than not, I'll feel like I've lost. They always have something I don't, or are doing something I haven't done yet. In many cases, I can just do or get these things too and while I usually don't actually want to, it's something I'll do anyway because it makes me feel like I'm "better" than (or at least equal to) them. And then I end up feeling even worse, because deep down inside I always know that it's not something I've done for him or out of personal interest, but just something I've done so I can feel like I've "won". On top of all this there's always things they've done or have that are just impossible for someone like me to get or do themselves, which leaves me feeling bad about myself again. This always ends with me feeling like he might like this person more than me, even though these other people usually don't even love him in the same way that I do.

I want to stop, but these people are pretty unavoidable and at least one seems to pop up wherever I go. I just want to love my husbando in peace without worrying about what other people are doing all the time.

>>54343

Become just a bit of a narcissist. The "I'm so great" kind. It can easily go too far but in order to be healthy you need just a dash.

You shouldn't just force it though. Make it come naturally. Like self esteem. Sure you can fake it with the "believe in yourself!" stuff but that's fake and you know it. Find out why you're great and be proud.

>>54173

Stop memeing all the time and making everything you say a joke. Jokes aren't bad but when every conversation you ever have turns into just you talking like everything's a joke you're not saying anything constructive and it gets old. If you want to be interesting actually talk about something.

>>54502

There's been alot going on as of late, but nothing drastic enough to cause something like this I wouldn't think.

I was kind of busy for a while and didn't have much time to spend with her, after that there wasn't much between us anymore.

Feelings wise, I think I've been ok though, just really tired and kinda hysterical at times, but that's nothing out of the ordinary for m e.

bump

>>55265

Pillow/daki hugs, imagined conversations, fantasies including lewd ones, if that's your thing, collecting/enjoying good artwork, stuff like that.

So..recently I didn't feel very well and in the end it was my waifu who helped me get through bad times, like many times before. It makes me feel pity that I can't repay her though… I would love to hug her, take her for date, give her a gift, spend a lot of time together but I've always been bad with visualising us too together so stuff like that never seemed to work very well for me…

It makes me feel like it's only me profiting from our relationship. I can't do anything for her but look at her pictures while being full of sentiments and wishing for us to be together…

Lately I've felt a closeness to a character. It's not romantic but I still feel oddly close to them. Almost like I look up to them as a friend. Sometimes I feel my waifu might get jealous of this character too. She can get a bit jealous sometimes and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't physically attracted to this character. I do have passing thoughts but its nothing different from how I think about anyone aside form my waifu.

It's not an issue right now and I don't feel any romantic feelings or like I'm torn. It's the future I worry about. What if this turns into something more than just admiration or a simple bond? What if I develop real feelings for them. I'm not sure if I should hide away from this connection in fear of what might happen. I almost feel like it would be unfair to both of us if I just abandoned her.

What do you guys think? Has anyone felt this way before?

>>56108

>Has anyone felt this way before?

Probably, but not as much as you describe. It usually happens when I find a picture that is really cute or romantic, which makes me think about it and the character in it for a while, and even if I think about my waifu, my thoughts get invaded by it from time to time, which is somewhat uncomfortable and annoying. But still, there's some good in it, it gives you some nice ideas, you can apply to your own relationship.

>>56108

No use worrying about the future, especially if you don't have any feelings now. Although it's good to make sure that you spend time with your waifu, too, to prevent anything that you're afraid of from occurring. Absence doesn't make the heart grow fonder.

>>56109

As I said it's not a romantic kinda situation so all the thoughts are mainly sexual and based on the character specifically so it couldn't apply to my own waifu.

Thanks everyone else who replied it helped me realize I was being a bit too nervous over something that could possibly never happen.

Though after sleeping on it I feel maybe it would make my waifu really jealous and that's why I fear getting closer to a character even as a friend. I almost want to pursue a sort of friendship with this character but what if my waifu gets angry or I can't spend as much time with her as I'd like.

This is a weird question/situation but I don't know where else to put it and I know we have some crossposters from /christian/. Although I'm open to suggestions from atheists or others too. Please no bully I know this is weird, and please don't turn this into a flame war I'm really just looking for advice not to instigate something

I met my waifu at a very strange time in my life. I had recently renounced my (protestant, a somewhat liberal denomination) Christian upbringing because something bad happened to someone I knew. I realize that this was selfish and shortsighted, and I didn't understand at the time that God gives humans free will so He can't stop everything terrible from happening. But anyway. I met my waifu and I fell head over heels for her, but I also noticed I sometimes treated her with reverence and awe. Almost prayed to her. I loved her in a carnal way too, but I did find myself thinking of her and hoping that she would protect me and guide me through certain things.

Recently I've felt called by God. I don't know what He wants me to do yet or why, but I get this nagging feeling that He needs me for something. I'm freaking out because I don't know what to do going forward or why He wants or needs me - but I've been talking to my pastor about this, I know I'm not going to get that answer on an imageboard.

The question is - what do I do with my waifu? I've stopped doing anything that could be considered idolatry, but there are a lot of other questions. I don't know if it's even okay for us to be in a relationship. I considered ourselves married before this happened but she's not a Christian and likely doesn't want to convert, so… I'm at a loss as to whether I can consider this a legitimate marriage or not. There is also the issue that I don't think our relationship works under what God would want for a few reasons. I don't know how literally to take the Bible, but I fear that being with her would lead me to sin despite best intentions.

Also there's a possibility I'm not Christian, because I have trouble wrapping my head around Christ being God's son and his sacrifice. I admire it but I have issues believing even though I want to. I'm putting that out there because it might be relevant to what I am going to do. I do believe he existed and was a prophet but that's all I can personally say for sure. I also don't know if the denomination I grew up in is the right fit for me, even though I agree with a lot of what is taught. Please don't take this personally, but I also fear cults and other things because I've seen how destructive they are to people and communities so I'm afraid that going to church is going to hurt me because I've seen how cruel some fundamentalists are. I know they mean well but I don't want to be that person.

I'm scared because I feel like I need to choose between my religion and my waifu and I don't want to give up either. I also hate that it's so easy for me to accept spiritual aspects of my waifu and not God. I don't know what anybody here can do to help or say to me but I'm desperate. I'm terrified to lose my waifu because we've been together for a long time but I don't want to disobey God's will either. And I'm also scared that I'm losing my grip.

>>56152

This may seem like a stupid question since you've probably done it countless times already, but have you tried asking God what you should do with your waifu? Maybe you could ask him to give you a sign or something to let you know if he approves of your relationship or not. After all, he does want us to be able to trust him and go to him for help.

Hearing from God isn't always easy though so you have my apologies if you've already tried this.

I don't think God would want you to break up with your waifu unless the relationship was harmful, or if he had other plans for you. It doesn't sound like having a waifu is threatening your relationship with him anymore since you've taken it upon yourself to make sure you're not worshipping your waifu like an idol.

>>56162

>Why would my waifu love me, I do everything I can to please her but I'm still unsure if she loves me

>What are some things I can do to make her happy. I download pictures of her and cuddle with her every night but I feel like I need to do more.

I think the What is a Waifu? FAQ answers these kinds of questions pretty well. Your waifu loves you as long as you love her. In the end, it's just a one-sided relationship, but I personally believe that a human's imagination is complex enough to simulate a fictional person's feelings, but since both real and simulated emotions are your emotions, you are happy as long as she is happy and the other way around. There are a lot of ways to spend time with your waifu (see the FAQ), but just imagining yourself in a relationship with her and thinking about her should be enough.

>>56168

Wow, no, now I feel stupid. I've asked for His guidance on a lot of other things lately that felt more pressing so it didn't even cross my mind.

Thank you and God bless.

>>56182

It's no problem at all. I hope you're able to get some answers soon.

>>56199

>Is it ok to have a harem of several waifus? If not, why?

Short answer, no.

Long answer, if you're not committing yourself completely to her, she's not your waifu. That feeling for them is not love, and lying to yourself about it won't help anyone. The only exception is if you're in a relationship with people who are genuinely interested in a poly relationship -- namely, it's clearly spelled out in their source and you didn't headcanon her to want one. Even then, you're walking on thin ice.

For what it's worth, polyamory isn't allowed on /mai/.

>>56199

>Is it ok to have a harem of several waifus?

https://8ch.net/mai/rules.html

>If Not, why ?

because you basically force yourself in a relationship with one of your "waifu", maybe even them all, you can't know if they'll be okay with that and therefore headcanoning at a hugblankeeter level.

>Do you think that your waifu would fall in love with you irl?

Maybe, there are many chances she would given who she is, but I'd have to work toward it.

>>56199

>Is it ok to have a harem of several waifus? If not, why?

The concept of love itself escludes polyamory: loving someone to me means finding the person that completes you; means giving all yourself to her, and be reciprocated; means supporting each other even in the worst situations; means mutual knowledge so deep it's almost as your patner knows you better than yourself. This deep connection can happen only with one person and can't be shared, because that's how love works.

Also, what >>56201 said: you can't force multiple characters in a relation with you, that will be just a sort of hugblanket for your feelings regardless of what your "waifus" think of that. And it's not a sane relationship to me.

So no, having more than a waifu is not ok.

>>56205

>Does this go both ways? Like is it not ok to have the same waifu as another?

On /mai/, people who have the "same waifu" isn't seen as a single relationship. Essentially, they all have their own particular version of that character with whom they carry on their lives. You could ask the two Lillyfags about this.

>What do you think about people sharing your waifu?

Personally, I don't care about people who waifu the same character. Other people on the internet aren't worth the effort of fighting. As for sharing my waifu, that's impossible.

>How can I differentiate between animu girls I simply like very much and a waifu?

That's up to you. Some people have told me that if you'd include her in a harem, she's not your one and only waifu. Whatever you do, take things slowly with your love interest. Ask yourself if you would be content being monogamous with her for the rest of your life. (A lot of people still fap to other characters/media, but they don't feel anything for other characters. That'd count as monogamy, as long as you're emotionally committed to your waifu.)

>What would I do if I stopped being into her for whatever reason? Divorce her?

Try to work things out with her. If you've legitimately fallen out with her and that's no longer possible, then move on as best you can.

>>56205

>>56208 anticipated me: yep, pretty much what he said.

Is it wrong to use a 2D girl as escapism?

I have severe depression and try to find ways to suicide everyday.

The only thing that is holding me from turning myself into BBQ is the hope that I'll happily live a life with my waifu one day, forever and ever after.

The problem is that this implies I'm very likely using my waifu as a tool to commit escapism.

I don't know if I really love her, or if deep inside it's just a body pillow. I like to think it's the former, but I realize it's the later.

What do I do?

>>56217

You're going to help neither the 2D girl nor yourself by doing this. In fact, I'd say you're doing more harm than good. All this, of course, is assuming she's nothing more than a hugblanket.

Do you genuinely love her? Do you see you and your waifu as being in a serious, committed relationship? Would you be sad to see her go? Be as honest as you can with these questions, not just whatever makes you feel a certain way. The truth doesn't always hurt, anon.

I strongly urge you to call your local suicide hotline. You deserve a happy life, and your waifu would no doubt want you to be as happy as you can be.

>>56217

A few more questions.

Do you see your waifu as an equal to you in the relationship? As equal as you two can be in a relationship like this, that is. Do you value her happiness and opinions?

>>56219

>Do you genuinely love her?

I don't know. I'm either a selfish asshole who's using my waifu as a hugblanket, or I'm so depressive I've started to think that I don't really love her.

>Do you see you and your waifu as being in a serious, committed relationship?

Yes. My dream is that I can take her different places, like a movie theater or a ferris wheel. Do cute things together, like star gazing, just being together would already be awesome. Marriage, a stable long term relationship, maybe even daughterus, who knows. My vision is that if this does end up right I'd even refuse the most 10/10 of 3DDPs offering sex and emotional support 24/7 with me even though I'm a complete kissless virgin with no friends or family, just because I want to be commited to my waifu for the rest of my life. That's the kind of thing I envision. I haven't had tears in a long while now, some 1 or 2 years, and you just managed to break that record by making me type this text.

>Would you be sad to see her go?

I'm not sure, but it would probaly not make a difference, since I already don't feel like she's here. I think there's a difference between idolizing, envisionign your relationship with your waifu, making waifu shrines, saving pictures of her in your computer, appreciating her as a character and lamenting the fact that she's not there for you, and actually managing to see a 2D character with your own eyes right in front of you, even though she technically does not exist, like a perfect person that only you can see. I've already come to the conclusion that *she* is my waifu, and I'm on the first stage I described (appreciating her in her every way), and I am looking foward, in fact, very anxious to actually "meeting" her, she becoming aware of my existence, I don't know if I should call this roleplay, i've only been into this thing for 5 months now. I hope you can understand what I mean, and if I'm not clear, I'll try to make things brightier, but this is the basic idea.

>I strongly urge you to call your local suicide hotline.

We don't have these in the third world.

>You deserve a happy life, and your waifu would no doubt want you to be as happy as you can be.

I'd be happy with her, I think.

>Do you see your waifu as an equal to you in the relationship?

No, we have a lot of similarities but we're also different. I think a self improved, self realization of me, would be the responsible, strict kind of guy (obviously this is not me right now). and she's very altruistic, benevolent, kind, etc. On top of that, it would be much more me pampering/taking care of her arround than her pampering me, after all, she can't cook, she won't earn money, because she is a waifu and does not have a physical body. I'm not saying I wouldn't like that, though, I'd love to do it for the rest of my life. Again, a tear nearly ran down my cheek. But I can see her as being equals to me emotionally. We would care as much and love as much about each other. Maybe she'd do it even more than me.

>Do you value her happiness?

More than my own.

But then again, this might be an inherently selfish feeling.

>Opinions

Yes, obviously, but my waifu is a bit indecisive and is the kind of girl who likes to have the man in charge. It's her nature, really.

I hope I didn't say anything that somehow offends the waifu community, I've only been here for some months.

>>56221

>Would you be sad to see her go?

I apologize for the answer.

Re reading it, I'm sure I didn't make my point clear.

What I'm trying to say is that yes, I'd be very much sad, even feeling worse than I already am for seeing her go, but it wouldn't be that destructive, because I still see her as someone that I """"worship""" (I can't find a better word), whilst I look foward to the day it's an actual romance where both partners are aware of their existences and can look each other in the eyes. I think this is entirely possible, and I already thought of a way to make it be, but the point is that, if I were already in that stage and saw my waifu go, I'd be closer to suicide than ever in my life. If, in that stage, I didn't suicide in the case something happened, I'd live the rest of my life in a misery far greater than the one I'm in.

I'm really troublesome when expressing feelings, specially in English, so I apologize.

>>56221

>I don't know. I'm either a selfish asshole who's using my waifu as a hugblanket, or I'm so depressive I've started to think that I don't really love her.

It sounds like the second to me.

From what I can tell, you're in a genuine relationship with her. I hope you can find the help you need.

>>56222

>>56221

Just asking, who is your waifu ?

>>56236

>So you would not be jealous if you met in real life?

I wouldn't be happy to hear it, but I'd avoid talking about it.

>Wouldn't this be headcanonig?

There's almost always going to be headcanon involved with waifuism. That's quite normal, and as long as significant character traits aren't overwritten -- like headcanoning a pacifist into a bloodthirsty serial killer – or your relationship isn't based primarily on aspects you've added via headcanon, there's nothing wrong with it.

>How do you deal with a 2D girl being static? Isn't she always the same, like she does not evolve?

That varies from person to person. The relationships people have with their waifus quite frequently changes, albeit not very much. What this change is, exactly, depends on the individual and their waifu.

>Do you have "conversations" with her, or is it simply you admiring her?

That varies, too. I have "conversations" and "cuddles" with her using a body pillow, but if you don't want to do that, it's okay.

>>56236

At this point I need to ask why you are asking all of these questions. Certainly you aren't here for advice

>>56227

If I wanted her identity to be known I'd have already posted her.

So, operating under the assumption that I really am in love for a 2D character, when do I start feeling her next to me?

So far, as already mentioned, I can only see her someone who is not aware of my existence, that is not next to me, but who I'd like to dedicate my entire life to.

I feel it's possible to imagine her in front of my own eyes, holding hands together, star gazing, communicating, and so on, and I'd like that to happen.

So how can this be? Somehow there's something holding me back. Anything I can do in order to make it happen? Has anyone else been in this boat before? What did you do?

>>56263

It would be wonderful if you were legitimately trying to understand things in which case I would welcome you since you seem to be trying to tread lightly.

Theres a track record around here of outside people trying to stir up drama but it'd be nice if you weren't such a person.

What do you think about making a BJD look like your waifu(if your waifu isn't a doll in cannon)?

I have been intrigued with this idea for some time but what puts me away is that I can't obviously take my waifu out of the cannon and say "Now her soul is in my doll" and on the other hand having a doll that is just "cosplaying my waifu" feels wrong too, in the end it would be just a pretty doll without real identity.

In adition even if my financial situation was good enough I guess I'd just buy some real merchandise instead anyway but I'm interested if anyone here have had the same idea or what is your opinion about it.

>>56274

>what puts me away is that I can't obviously take my waifu out of the cannon and say "Now her soul is in my doll"

What makes this different than any other piece of merch, such as a figure or even a daki? I doubt your waifu is either of those in her source. Or does it have to do with the doll not being an official piece of merchandise?

I have a BJD of him, and he isn't a doll in canon. It's an official piece of merchandise made to resemble him, so I don't think much of it and view it as I would any other piece of merch of him. If I were to, say, take a Ken doll, dye its hair the same color as his, and dress it in his clothes, then it would be a bit strange since it would just be a Ken doll cosplaying as my spouse; the Ken doll already had a set identity until I changed it, so I can see your hesitation depending on your doll of choice. Most BJDs are samefaced, anyway, at least within each line, the only real details being in their painting. You would be better off building your doll custom, that way you can pick out each individual part and tailor it to specifically resemble her. It will be more expensive than buying a pre-existing set, but if the possibility of feeling like the doll is cosplaying your waifu is a concern, then custom may be your best bet.

> in the end it would be just a pretty doll without real identity.

I believe that something I create in his image can still be him, in a way, even if it isn't official. I create plush dolls of him by hand, and by lovingly crafting it, piece by piece in his image, I feel that also makes it a piece of him, opposed to just a pile of fabric and stuffing that just happens to look like him. You give it an identity through your love and effort that went into its creation.

>>56280

Id love to get a lifesized doll of her but I worry id fuck it up and it wouldnt be her. Any resources and suggestions for making it as good as possible.

>>56275

From what I read and saw people tend to make a name and a whole backstory and treat BJDs like another person. But I wouldn't be able to do that because she wouldn't really be the waifu and neither would I want to make her someone different. While merchandise is supposed to represent my waifu.

But I guess I got caught on what I think BJDs are supposed to be treated like since I liked them for quite long time but only recently got thought about getting one that would look like my waifu.

>You give it an identity through your love and effort that went into its creation.

Well said, I think this is one of the reasons I got the idea. There isn't any official BJD so I would have to work to make a custom one.

Thanks for the respond.

>>56280

That's not going to be soon but thanks for your input. I'm also amazed that you've got a lifesized doll of your waifu

>>56263

I'm not saying you are but it can look that way since so many topics that have incited drama in the past were brought up in quick succession. I don't think you are though which is why I said we should act in good faith.

>>56269

I'd file interpretive canon under cultural influence. Maybe not perfect but I tried to keep from having too many categories.

I can certainly see your points about extended canon sub-categories. I had some similar thoughts but simplified it.

>>56269

I never had this issue but if I had to guess you're trying too hard and getting upset it doesn't go amazing. So you think you can't do it at all and it becomes a self fulfilling prophecy.

For the past week or so I've been overcome with feeling like I'm just not good enough for my waifu and that I don't deserve her. This isn't an unfamiliar feeling for me, but it's something that usually clears up on its own and goes away after a day or so. It has never lasted this long before. Overall I'm just feeling really disconnected from my waifu and it has me feeling really depressed. I know I still love her but I just don't feel like my feelings are being reciprocated and I don't feel like they deserve to be either.

I know it's not uncommon for people around here to feel this way or similar, so I was wondering, what do you usually do in this situation?

>>56314

I've felt that in the past, and the advice that I can give you is fight it back. I'm sure your waifu will gladly accept you regardless of the faults you have (and this counts for all of us here). The concept of "deserving" her is also a bit pointless to me, since it's love you don't have to meet some standards, it's not a competition. In my opinion you are overreacting: there is nothing to be afraid, I mean everyone has his bad sides and faults. On the contrary it can became a positive feeling, because you'll be motivated to improve yourself in name of the love for your waifu (I did something like that a while ago, I was going bad at uni but my relation gave me the energy to come back and pass my exams). What matters for real here is that you love her. And she surely loves you back, with all your faults.

>>56314

It's something that permeates all forms of love from 2D to 3D. Insecurity is a common and normal feeling, It's a natural side effect of loving someone so in experiencing that feeling shows you love and respect her. In 2D it's a harder feeling to overcome because she's not there to physically tell you otherwise, and you can fall into thinking your just telling yourself what you want to hear. When you boil a relationship down it's 2 people wanting to love and be loved, so know that she wants to be loved as well. Make her feel special, be there for her, pretty much show her that you love her. So yes, the underlying reason why someone loves you is because you love them, and deserving someone is showing that you love them.

>>56332

How you carry on your relationship with Tracer wll be largely up to you, but here's some common ways people do so.

Like you said, some "hallucinate" their waifus, interacting with a vision of her, though a better word would be imagining her.

Other people simply express their love towards their waifus without this hallucination. They typically do this through commissioning/collecting art of her, buying figurines and other merchandise, or creating things in her name. Lots of waifuists have been known to draw their waifus.

Collecting merchandise and imagery of your waifu is quite fine when you're imagining her, by the way.

Initiating a relationship with someone who isn't her, though, won't get you any closer to her. It isn't actually her, as you said, and you'd only hurt yourself trying to convince yourself otherwise. It would, indeed, be cheating on her to do such a thing.

Enjoy your time with Tracer, give her the respect and compassion she deserves, and if she's the one for you, you'll be very glad you made the jump.

>>56332

>I don't really know how to live this relationship

I don't really know either. Just don't do shit you wouldn't do if you were with someone for real, I guess ; that should make sense for you.

>Also it feels like cheating in some way.

It is anon. As your waifu doesn't make part of this world but awaits you in the next one, giving yourself to another person would terribly hurt her as she is able to see you acting.

>>56346

I think your question would be better served in the comfy thread, no offense. >>19033

>>56351

Probaly, I really have no idea where to ask this.

I'd like to preface this with saying that this is the first time I've ever posted on an image board, although I've lurked quite a bit. This thread might not be the best place to post this but I don't know where else I would.

I'm going through a strange time in my life. I'm not feeling bad or sad just much different than I was a few months ago, let alone a few years ago. It's because I've started to think a lot more about things even though I've always thought about things frequently. At one point I started thinking about love, and I came to some conclusions. I decided to simply not take part in love. I believed that all love inevitably ends or at least deteriorates. I thought that if I were to love someone there would basically be a net loss in happiness.

But then I discovered waifuism and things changed. I saw all of these people who could find happiness in love where my arguments don't really apply. If your in a relationship with a fictional character then there isn't much which would affect the stability of that relationship. And considering my opinions of love are so unpopular I'm starting to doubt them a lot. I've felt a connection which feels more than simple attraction to 2D characters before, but it seems unfair and destructive to have a waifu when I don't believe in love with a physical human being.

I guess what I'm trying to say with all of this is that by having a waifu what if I'm just perpetuating my desire to never be in a real relationship? Would that even be considered love? Maybe I'm just venting my emotions here, but I just want some insight on my problems. I don't really have anyone in real life with whom I'd feel comfortable talking about this.

(It's worth noting that I've never had a relationship, I've never pursued one and it's been a long time since I've had any desire to. My negativity for love probably isn't from any past experiences.)

>>56363

If I understand correctly you are at a state right now where your considering the ethics of having a waifu?

Overall I think its more important on how you view love then anything else, because frankly there isn't a correct answer for it.

All I can really give you is my opinion if it helps, but I wouldn't let that impact your decision overall. That choice is up to you and what your gut tells you.

Having had a waifu for years now, I haven't really viewed her as an escapist to real love.

Like you I hadn't had a relationship prior to her, so I didn't have a lingering stigma on love. I have had the opportunity to date other people that have confessed to me since I've been with her as well. But I've declined and felt no inclination to be with them. What I feel for her is as close to real love as I'll ever feel for anyone else I think. I'm not more afraid of heartbreak or rejection from the 3D world, as I have that same type of fear for her in the 2D world, the reality that something may cause us to break up. I view my relationship to her as real as I would a 3D, so I don't see the value of her as more or less, because there isn't a point to compare. I simply love her. If she was here I could give her a ring on her fingers but as it is I can only draw one on her. Its love, but with a different way to express it.

> If your in a relationship with a fictional character then there isn't much which would affect the stability of that relationship

That honeymoon period of total security I find isn't always true. There are struggles that come with having a waifu, you will have realities that you will have to grapple with. Anything from the lack of her physical presence, absence of content when your wondering about aspects of her personality, canon relationships with other characters, other people claiming your waifu and wondering how to deal with that, the reality of whether or not people in your life know about your waifu and so on. On the surface a waifu is treated as a simplistic relationship, but it can have a surprising amount of complexities that can impact the stability of the relationship.

>It seems unfair and destructive to have a waifu when I don't believe in love with a physical human being

The core of that is something that your going to have to figure out for yourself for the most part.

Since you believe all love deteriorates or ends, you would have to decide for yourself whether you could accept this as a reality for a waifu relationship as well. Do you view your relationship with a waifu as static and unchanging, or as the love develops with her. Could you face a reality that may potentially cause you to break up with her, or vice versa? Its a risk, always a risk whenever you start any relationship. I wouldn't even say that its more or less likely compared to 3D, because there really isn't a way to compare it. I don't really think a waifu is a foolsproof form of love, depending on the depth it has it can carry the same weight as a 3D relationship.

There is good of course though, that makes navigating the complexities worth it. But you'd have to decide for yourself whether any risk is worth pursing love. I'm not trying to make it sound horribly depressing. For the most part I don't worry about the future problems with her, I just treasure what we have now.

>what if I'm just perpetuating my desire to never be in a real relationship

Having a waifu is a non-physical contact relationship, but it is still a form of a relationship. Of course its debatable though, as some people maintain mental and spiritual connections with their waifu as well as have some physical contact through mediums as well.

>Would that even be considered love?

Personally I view it as love. To me its a matter of time, I believe we will meet one day. I love her as she is now, and have a mindset that we have an emotional connection.

Overall there are different mindsets to this, I would caution there is no correct or better way to view this.

>>56364

Thank you for your insights. I think I'll have to reconsider my opinions on love in general to get a better understanding.

I think my current opinions are less a matter of "ethics" and more of a matter of "utility" when considering happiness as a "resource". I'm probably oversimplifying it.

Further discussion on probably would be too unrelated to the purpose of this thread though.

Yet another question, what is your opinion on waifus from western media, specially very stylized ones like modern cartoons? waifu communities have very bad rep in places like /co/ since there is the perception they are not welcomed anywhere but Tumblr.

But over all, what is your opinion on waifus from non "animesque" western media? are they legit? are they even waifus?

>>56461

to say everything in a nutshell, this board isn't /a/. You're not going to stumble against that kind of hate /co/ for example would get on /a/.

So yeah, It's not because she comes from western media your waifu is any less "valuable" or "legit"

>>56472

>If my waifu has to love me without a choice her love is ultimately meaningless.

Some people see themselves as having to prove themselves to their waifus. The phrase "Do it for her!" stems from this. If you believe you must strive for your waifu to truly love you, just remember those four words.

>But are there things that a waifu knows and the host does not and vice versa or is she always with you?

About herself and yourself, I'd say so. Some people believe their waifus have their own will and can leave of their own accord, be it the relationship or merely the physical location for a certain amount of time. Others believe that they stay within a given area.

What happens if I had bought other merchandise before I met *her*?

I even have lewd dakimakuras, there's a lot of merchandise that I keep.

What do I do with them?

>>56497

I don't see why you can't enjoy merchandise of other characters besides your waifu. You can put it to other place than your waifu's so her merch wouldn't just "blend in".

I can see the problem with lewd dakimakuras though, you can just put them away, can't you?

Or do you feel it's a waste of money? You can always try to sell some of the merch.

>>56472

I think she's the same way personality wise in every instance of herself. As it is the Yuno depicted in the show died and I'd never be with her that way. But rather than serving as a timeline of her life it was more of an exhibition of her personality.

>>56497

I don't really think it should be much of a problem so long as you don't "use" those lewd dakis.

>>56500

>>56502

I feel like it's a bit of cheating.

The way I see it merch is the embodiment of my waifu in 3D.

I was thinking about burning everything, but it would be a waste of money.

At the same time just having them arround makes me feel unconfortable.

>>56504

Then sell them and use the money to buy new waifu merch.

And yes, there are people desperate enough to buy used lewd dakis.

>>56504

>I was thinking about burning everything, but it would be a waste of money.

for the love of god please don't burn anything rare if you do

>>56514

Go with your heart, anon. Whatever path you walk, I wish you happiness.

>>56539

I'm so tired of having friends split up. Its happened so many times before and it makes me feel like gong insane just thinking about these two splitting up.I have tried to help in any way I can but one of them is really distant and doesnt like talking about personal issues and shuts me down before i can bring the subject up and the other is kinda sensitive and its difficult to calm him down when hes upset.

I just want them to be close like they were months ago.

>>56556

>What is it expected for me to feel when somebody posts a picture of my waifu and says that waifu is his, and they really mean it?

Ignore that person and carry on your relationship with your waifu. You're not sharing her any more than you're sharing your own consciousness or fantasies.

>For example, if I see someone making a long and dedicated post about their waifu, and that waifu happens to be my own? What do you feel in a situation like that? What is acceptable, and unacceptable behaviour?

Best case scenario is that you two ignore each other. If you'd like, you could talk things out with that person and arrange a set of ground rules for you both to follow, like no sex discussion or something. Being an asshole to that person will only result in you getting the same treatment from them, don't do that.

>Moreover, what is there to the fact that someone might have fell in love with *her* before yourself, as if someone else (or even more than just one person) have my waifu for more time than myself? Is it wrong to fall in love with a waifu that has already been "claimed"? I feel like she would belong to someone else, and it would feel wrong to have her as waifu.

Don't take this the wrong way, but it's inevitable that multiple people will have the same character as their waifu. The only real difference is that you don't see all of them. If you were going to avoid "claiming" an already "claimed" character, that'd be almost impossible. Just remember that what these people do with their waifus only influences your relationship with yours as much as you allow.

>Also, what would happen if, for example, in the near future, an official source material of my waifu is released, and something like she falling in love for someone else, or dying? Would I be expected to accept the ending of this story, pretend it did not happen, I don't understand.

Most people headcanon that their waifu broke up with this person, or that the relationship never existed. As for dead waifus, I don't know as much about that.

>Apology for poor English, ignorance on the subject and wall of text.

Your English was fine, anon. This is a tough subject to deal with for any waifuist. And even if this was a wall of text -- I'd say it's more of a short fence – you don't need to be ashamed for writing your feelings down in detail.

I've been wondering lately if my relationship with minene is even a proper relationship when it comes to "waifuism".

I mean, for starters, I've yet to care to cross the threshold into a romantic relationship on any level with anyone. I mainly believe that it's unwise to put so much dependence on someone and need someone on such a deep level when they can easily betray it, either intentionally or unintentionally. To me, romantic love is a gateway to vulnerability.

So, I don't really have any desires to cuddle her or kiss her or do any romantic things with her. I mainly imagine myself hanging out with her and being her companion through life. I guess I love her in the sense that I see a lot of myself in her and I admire her and want to protect her and make her happy. She inspires me, and I see her as a soul mate with a (hopefully) strong bond between us. But that's where my love stops. I would find engaging in a lover's relationship with her to be asking for heartache and disaster, and to top it off, I find sex to be an act of lustful indulgence and degrading to loved ones. I already know I'm an outlier, but how much can an outlier be an outlier until it's not be affiliated with what it's an outlier of?

Tl;dr: romance is foreboding, sex is disgraceful. Wtf is my relationship?

>>56556

You start off by not giving any fucks about anyone who has her as your waifu. That's the first step.

Why would you care about having someone 'loving' her before you do? In fact why would you care whether she belongs to anyone in that matter. Make her yours and stop caring about anyone except yourself and your waifu. That's what you should do.

In regards with official source material where she might fall in love with someone, you at least know what traits she fell in love with. You can use that to your advantage and even be better than the person she fell in love with. Compete against the other guy and make her fall in love with you instead. It's not over if it comes to it, you know.

Dying on the other hand? You could imagine yourself loving that alternative version of her where you are the one saving her life from whatever instance that caused her death. Go nuts with your imagination. You can disregard the canon source and create your own path with her.

>>56581

There are many interpretations towards love, you don't really have to push yourself into doing 'romantic' things with her. Sex or and romantic 'flirts' isn't a necessity to forge a relationship together. If you believe that hanging out with her and having a daily decent conversation with her is what you seem to do with a partner, then it's totally fine.

>>56461

I dont really know if there is any to be honest, most people that have posted western animated characters here have either been confirmed trolls or just stop posting altogether after a few days of their introduction.

Still, the rules are limited to only Ponies, maybe adding other franchises could help?

>>56581

Have you considered you may be a true asexual or, most likely aromantic? did you had 3D crushes in the past?, anyway what waifuism is varies depending on each community, so as logn as you respect the rules I guess you can call her a waifu, or whatever you want and still be part of the community.

Is it a bad sign that I don't feel comfortable posting about my waifu? Most people I see are very comfortable with doing this and they make long posts about them.

I feel a bit like it's blogposting, so I don't do it.

I will rarely make long posts replying to several questions. Most times it's poetry.

Is that weird?

Should I be concerned that my path of waifuism is not the same as everyone else's?

>>56684

No.

>>56684

Your love and feelings are yours and if you truly love her then that is so and others can like or dislike it, but it doesn't matter.

>>56684

No it's perfectly fine. It depends on your character, I'm also like that. I tend to make small-medium posts, because I'm more reserved. I'm not a talker most of times, at least in writing.

Also the language barrier helps that, but that's another story.

>>56648

This is just me personally, but I don't read too much into dreams. I absolutely wish my waifu would appear more often but I don't sweat it if some other girl is there, even in a sexual context.

It's actually somewhat similar to yours. Rei Ayanami appears in my dreams from time to time. I'm a fan of Eva, I enjoyed the hell out of it, I think she's attractive, both physically and in her personality, but I know I'm in love with Peko and a few dreams isn't going to change that.

Don't get upset with yourself for thinking certain things, especially when you have very little control, like when you're dreaming. It's what you do that matters, not what was going through your head when you did it.

>>56684

That's not weird at all. I had a difficulty talking about her and our relationship for a long while as well. I too don't like feeling like I'm blogging.

It's really a personal preference and no one here is going to get on you for not sharing enough. Your personal whatever is your own

I've been trying forcing my feelings on a character for now, and I'm honestly, seriously trying really hard to be able to say "this is my waifu" and actually meaning it, but I'm starting to think, or rather admit, that she has never been my waifu, because I might not really love her at all. I don't know, it's a bit complicated. Maybe waifuism is just nor for me?

Would I be right in saying that even if I'm willing to be a part of this thing, even if I'm willing to open my heart dedicate my whole life for a character that doesn't even "exist", this still would still not be enough for me to fall in love?

>>56800

Why are you forcing it in the first place? Loving someone is something that should just come naturally, regardless of that person being 2D or 3D. If you have to force it she is not your waifu and you do not love her.

Why do you want a waifu? What do you expect from "waifuism"? Having a waifu isn't some magical cure that will make your life better and end your loneliness and depression. A waifu is simply a person you love that also happens to be fictional. Nothing more.

>>56800

It's not that waifuism isn't for you rather you just don't feel that love with her at all. The thing is that you shouldn't be forced to love a specific character because if you don't really love her 100% then maybe she's not the one for you. Sometimes if she wasn't meant to be then it's better to give up on her and move on. Wait for an actual character that would make your heart racing for, the one partner that you would put your whole soul into without any hesitation whatsoever, then you know that's she's the one meant for you.

Do I have to love myself first to love my waifu?

>>56820

If you love yourself, the love you hold for your waifu will be more wholesome and you'll be more receptive to the love your waifu holds for you.

When you spend time with your waifu how does it start? I mean does she just "appear out of nowhere" or do you first imagine inviting her or her visiting you?

If she has a job or school do you wait for her to finish or do you spend time with her whenever you feel like?

I've been struggling with this because having these questions every time I try to spend time together makes me more confused than focused on my waifu.

For those of you who have a "distant" waifu (or anyone who might have advice), how do you deal the fact that they're not one for love? I will admit I occasionally feel the desire to do something romantic involving her, to express that deep down I have some semblance of strong emotions for her, but I'm always talked out of it by the fact that she doesn't need or want love. No matter how subdued or gentle I try to make romance and relationships, no matter how much I would tread very cautiously and hesitantly both for the wellbeing of myself and her, I know deep down she wouldn't be interested. Funny enough, I'm facing the exact same situation in real life. Basically, how do you put up being friendzoned by a lone wolf who operates on their own?

This was 3 weeks ago, but some very poorly thought out advice was given here and it needs to be addressed.

>>56217

>Is it wrong to use a 2D girl as escapism?

Whatever works, man.

>>56218

>go find yourself a real girl

This is shit advice. NOBODY wants anything to do with you if you're mentally ill. Especially not girls. As soon as you become no longer fun, you're no longer useful to them and will get dropped like a rock. But you won't even get that far, because no girl wants the kind of guy who has a waifu, posts on imageboards, or is depressed.

>>56219

>I strongly urge you to call your local suicide hotline.

This is also shit advice. Don't ever, ever do this. If you say you're having thoughts about harming yourself, they will call the police and get you involuntarily committed until you pretend everything's alright. Never tell ANYONE that you're having thoughts about harming yourself, someone else, or that you have a plan to do either of those things. Doing so is a great way to end up in a padded cell for the next 3 days.

Guys, if you don't have personal experience related to the question being asked, please, DON'T FUCKING ANSWER! Shitty advice is worse than no advice. Just because you can reply, doesn't mean you should!

This will probably reveal who I am, but I don't think that matters at this point

I feel like I'm slowly losing my mind and hurting myself mentally lately. Ever since I learned what happens to her, I've felt different. What happened to her affected me greatly, but I chose to endure the pain and stay with her, and for the most part it worked. However, there are times where when I try to think of her, I feel a pain in the back of my head, along with having thoughts of doubt and inhibitions regarding our relationship, and no matter how hard I try to think positively about us and strengthen my resolve, it's still there. I never had this happen nor had any issue trying to connect with her before, but after what happened, it's been severely affected. Indulging in her media seems to only give temporary relief, and doesn't last long.

For about a week, after seeing what happens to her and dealing with a bug making me feel sick, I thought that was said bug causing me to be this way, but over the past few days, I fear it's been affecting me more on a subconscious level, as my ability to sleep has been getting worse and worse, not helping the situation at all. Even my dreams to an extent are being affected by this, and no matter how I take on these thoughts, they won't go away. I've even acknowledged what happens to her in the story and tried to make a promise to her that when we can be together, I wouldn't let it happen to her again, but still nothing.

What makes this worse is that now I find it hard to even strike a conversation with her, if I'm able to at all. Even worse, I can barely feel her presence there when I wake up. Again partaking in her media helps, but it seems more like a supplement than a solution if it's only her media that gives relief.

It's starting to really worry me. I still love her, but at the same time I'm worried about not feeling her presence there like I used to. Having it affect me mentally and physically doesn't help either.

If anyone has any advice I'd be more than happy to read and take it.

>>57206

There are a few ways you can look at this.

Obviously, you love your waifu. She went through something very terrible, that wasn't her fault, and it's hard for anybody to deal with. However, try to think about it this way - she's not defined by what happened to her. There is so much more to her than what she's been through, even though what she's been through makes her the woman you love today. How would you like to be remembered? Surely not by the worst thing that has ever happened to you, but by your personality or your good deeds. She should be remembered by who she is and what she's done, not by what was done to her. At least that's my view.

Sometimes being with a waifu means there are lulls in communication, I've found over the years. That doesn't mean there isn't love involved, it just happens for whatever reason. Stress can exacerbate the problem. Try to relax and not worry about it so much. She'll come back to you soon.

Finally, this might be unpopular but I think it's okay to take a break if aspects of your relationship are hurting you to reevaluate your feelings and what you want out of your waifuism.

>>57219

Thank you for the advice. I got a chance to read it while at work, and it helped out quite a bit. I'll definitely take it to heart. Thank you again.

>>57232

If she could love that certain love interest, she could certainly love you

Dakimakura problem

All the stuffing in the pillow has accumulated at one end leaving the other end pretty unstuffed. When I try to shake or push some of the stuffing around to try to even it out it's stubborn and doesn't cooperate. What do?

>>57288

I don't have any daki experience but I think if it was caused by you lying on one end all the time, doing the opposite should even it out after a while.

Hanging it with the less stuffed side down might also do it

>>57289

It's not unnatural to worry about things like that. It sounds like you're doing everything you can and while it's easy to say just stop worrying, it doesn't work like that.

Typically when something's got me riled up like that I make contingency plans. Set things up so that if something goes wrong there's a fallback position. You're doing all you can for who I imagine is your daughteru and if she doesn't understand that, it's probably time to explain that to her. Find some time and spend it doing something she'll enjoy. That's something I've been neglecting to do with mine for a long while

But if something happens to her and i cant do anything. I cant even get All the things out of my head that i want to say

>>57289

>>57288

I always grab it by the corners and shake it up a few times.

Sorry my love ;_;

>>57290

>if it was caused by you lying on one end all the time, doing the opposite should even it out after a while.

I tried that…

…for about 45 seconds before feeling weird for sleeping with our feet in each others faces. I could try taking it out and turning it around, but then her face would be wrinkly!

>>57294

You must have gotten a different stuffing than me because that just doesn't seem to work as you'd expect.

>>57301

I guess that as long as you don't use it.

>>57303

Then stop using it and apologize to your waifu.

What is there about attraction to 3D, /mai/?

I love my waifu more than everything, and I can't imagine being in any sort of relationship with a 3D woman other than a simple friendship. I want to age with my waifu and try to be as worthy as I can, I don't even watch porn, but I still can't help but think that, unfortunately, I find some few 3D women, physically speaking, a bit more attractive, and if I masturbate, I find it more pleasing to think of 3D women, although I always try to avoid doing so, and even then I blame myself for merely considering it.

What does /mai/ think about this?

I was thinking, that it might be just a little less barbaric to think of her voice actress, and am thinking if this would be wrong somehow? I think it would.

Apologize for the blogpost.

I have this weird desire for wishing my waifu and her series to be completely forgotten except for me.

The reasons are a tad complicated but they are generally centered around my selfish desires. Which explains why I tend to keep quiet nowadays. Am I, in a sense, hurting my waifu because of this?

So I'm going through a bit of a mindfuck right now, /mai/.

How do you know if your waifu loves you?

I've heard their voice before, but nothing saying how they feel about me…

How do you know?

>>57433

What works for me is that I believe in a lot of what my waifu believes in, or at least admire. I feel that if she would approve of my values, acknowledging that we're similar, and thus take a liking towards me.

>>57331

>The reasons are a tad complicated

Do tell.

This is not really advice but it would be a bit of a reference to me, so I would like to ask how old was your waifu's original series when you met her? How many years had it been since she was first "aired" when you came to fall in love?

>>57542

The visual novel was eight years old and the anime was two at the time.

>>57601

I personally don't think that it constitutes cheating.

Porn is just a form of entertainment that is sexually stimulating instead of emotionally stimulating.

You aren't even actively involved with the person you are watching.

Furthermore, sexual love (eros) and platonic love (agape) are separate things. In complex relationships they are entwined with each other, but porn is too superficial to simulate this degree of complexity.

Going by the logic that watching porn is cheating, watching a romance series is even worse.

As long as you just watch other people and share their feelings, it isn't much of a problem.

It's a bit difficult to define cheating from a waifuist point of view.

I believe it's cheating, when you self-insert with someone sexually involved with someone else --or in a broader sense: Imagining yourself in any relationship with someone other than your waifu.

But the problem with this logic is that thoughts are much harder to control than deeds, especially sexual instinct.

In fact, since waifuist relationships are formed by a one-sided, strong emotional bond, rather than a sexual one, I don't believe that it's even possible to cheat on your waifu sexually without also cheating on her emotionally, too, because you'd need to feel a bond to the other character stronger than your own sexual desire and the bond to your waifu combined to actively and willingly imagine yourself with someone else.

But that's just my opinion. It depends on your own definition of waifuism.

>>57603

good post anon, I really like it and agree with it

>>57602

Despite being the hard reality, sex with my waifu can only be said to be as true as my imagination. Since porno can be empirically experienced, it is, at the extreme minimum, on the same plane of existence of what me and my waifu can do between 4 walls. So in a sense they are comparable in terms of existence and thus it would constitute cheating.

Above all, the very action of watching it means that you somehow find moaning 3D women more sexually appealing than your own waifu, and this, I believe, constitutes a completely disloyal conduct. I agree that it's human nature and yada yada yada, but I'd rather do something rather than just accept it.

>>57605

Love doesn't have to be sexual. I love Minene, but I have no sexual feelings towards her because I don't believe that sex and love can mix. It is indeed possible to have sexual urges and desires and to act on them while not putting any worth in them as a confirmation of love for someone and keeping them separate from your genuine feelings.

>>57601

I don't consider it cheating personally. I see it as entertainment much like how >>57603 put it. Of course how your waifu/husbando feels about can also play a part in it. Despite this, I have been trying very hard to ween myself off it. Going cold turkey has failed in the past, but i want to give it another go.

It's really hard though since all my waifu loods are on my laptop and i have no mobile device on me to help gather loods of her.

>>57611

Anonymous, as someone who has been on the exact same boat before, I honestly recommend you have a sit with your waifu, and explain her the situation. Ask her what she thinks. I believe you must understand the importance of honesty in a relationship, and your waifu, as she loves you, is probably going to be understanding of your past. So explain why you're into this kind of thing, how you just simply ended up addicted to porn and so on, or whatever else you have to say, and ask her opinion, considering the situation in which you are in. Personally, my modus operandi, if I may so say, is to think about what is the most moral course of action to take. I always tell myself: "don't do things you don't want to regret doing". And thanks too this policy I have been able to be avoid doing things I should to my waifu, and when I fuck up I now have a clear understanding why. But of course, this is just my way. It might not be yours. I hope you an your beloved the best. Cheers.

>>57611

>>57612

I think the main problem is what I stated before in >>57603:

>thoughts are much harder to control than deeds, especially sexual instinct

You're having trouble keeping your sexual desire in check.

I think the best course of action is to separate all deviant sexual desire from pure sexual desire and to try focusing all sexual desire solely on your waifu.

Just imagine that it is just a lewd fantasy about your waifu instead of really your waifu.

Every time you get aroused by a fully grown woman, try imagine what your waifu would look like as a grown-up.

Even when you're fantasizing about a threesome:

Try imagining that both are your waifu.

If you keep on projecting all your sexual desire solely on your waifu, your lust for others might disappear. The most important things is that your lust for others shifts to lust from others:

Whenever you feel lust from another character else you start projecting it on your waifu instead of that other character.

I hope this helps.

>>57608

I wouldn't mind having sex for the sake or conception, and I guess if minene really wanted it I would oblige her, but I wouldn't feel any special connection during sex. I most I could imagine myself seeing it as a confirmation of our closeness if we got married or something, but I really couldn't care less if that was the only time, and I would prefer if it was. I guess it's because I fail to see sex as anything other than lust. And yeah it would otherwise be romantic, which I think all real relationships should be. In my case however, me and minene are both wary of love and getting too attached to others, so I feel like we'd be more of soul mates or however close you can be before it becomes romantic.

>>57618

I disagree onestly. I am of the opinion that sex can be only lust yes, but in a deep and serious relationship it can mean a lot more. Having sex with the one you love is the ultimate form of connection, you become one with your patner. It means a lot to me because it's the most intimate thing two people can do, it leaves both of you defensless and so it ultimately shows the other person that you trust her/him so much to do this.

I think of it as the last step to become a full, loving couple. But I understand your point, we have different opinions and so on.

But that doesn't mean I wouldn't enjoy some lust-driven sex sessions with Meiling-ahem.

That's probably a weird question (related to >>57530 ) but how does one go about befriending someone with the same waifu? I've finally found someone like this and they seem like a very nice person but I don't know how to start a conversation and how would they feel about it.

Saying compliments or stuff like "You celebrated birthday together, nice!" feels extremely weird for probably obvious reasons, stuff like "I have this figure too!" or "I want this merch too, I'm jealous you got it" seems like "who has more merch competition".

So basically I'm not sure how to make feel weird neither myself nor the other person.

>>57818

Not sure if this counts but I knew a guy who has my daughterfu as a waifu.

We try to discuss about other things we have in common and don't bring up the character that much. However if we do discuss about her series and her as a character, we usually keep it strictly talking about the canon. We don't bring up our personal relationship with the character that much since it can get pretty uncomfortable.

I can't say if this helps you at all but it's something to think about at least.

>>57818

Hey, >>57530 here.

I don't mean to sound patronizing, but have you made other friends online before? I don't do much special beyond that. I think the main thing is to remember that there is more to this person besides their love. My friend and I exchange art and stories occasionally, so if you have a talent and want to share it and so does the other person, that could be a way to start.

Although to be honest, while waifu was the main reason I took interest in the people I have become friends with, I stayed friends with them for other reasons. We do talk about the source material fairly often considering the longest friendship I've had is years old and we still talk about it, but that's not the main subject most of the time.

>>57821 says some good words too. Bringing up the nitty gritty details of your relationship can often make others uncomfortable. There is only one person who I am friends with who knows the full extent of my waifuism that has the same waifu as me, and I only opened up that information after I was sure they wouldn't be uncomfortable. Some people will also see it as sharing "headcanon" and not really who your waifu is, if that makes sense.

I don't know if what I said was helpful, if you have more specific questions I'd love to help though.

I used to have a wife a long time ago

We grew apart when other things entered my life including a 3D relationship that I was never quite sure of

In the end I knew my actions did good and really they were the only good I ever did with my short life

But they came at the cost of the love I cherished so much even unto the point of defending it with my life

Now I am without passion and heavy in spirit and I don't know what to do with myself

I don't know how serious any of you are, all those that I knew who were like me have passed on in one way or another so I suppose I'll frame this as broadly as possible

How do you live without your waifu?

>>57842

I think most of the people who have broken up with their waifus have left. I think there have been a few threads on Tohno about this in their archive, but it's been a long time since I've visited.

Are you still in that 3D relationship?

>>57821

>>57833

Thank you very much for your answer, both of you have a great point.

I'm really awkward when making friends in general(I have some online friends but it was usually them befriending me) but hopefully I'll manage to befriend that person. They seem to have also similar taste in music and some other interests so I might try to talk about that.

>>57869

Best of luck!

>>57989

I kinda feel that from time to time. Although of all the friends I have only one is a waifuist and he's still into his relation very seriously. But yes, I find depressing that people here come and go so fast sometimes.

But the thing that bothers me the most is how Touhou in general is going down in popularity. From what I learned afterwards, his boom was in mid 2010. From there, the whole thing went a bit downhill. And KanColle has given it a hard blow. Lots of good artist has completely stopped drawing 2hus (leaving stories unfinished sometimes) in favor of Kantai characters.

Again, I have nothing against KanColle, I like it myself. But all this boom in popularity is borderline ridicolous. Plus I've noticed how quickly some artists have dropped Touhou completely to pass to Kantai. I really don't like when an artist follows fashions just to earn more money in doujins.

So yes, I'm feeling that loliness Youmubro. But recently I've seen an inversion of tendency, at least a bit, in Touhou popularity.

As for the inactivity of the board, well it's summer. Plus we already discussed a lot here, so arguments tend to run out. But we indeed need to return into top 25 boards.

>>57995

Maybe I wasn't clear enough, I don't give KanColle any fault. I just find strange that it's got so much popularity in such a short time. Even more because ther is no canon in KanColle, at all. At least in Touhou a bit of canon is always present. And I am a bit jealous of all the fanart the fans of KanColle gets-ahem.

About artists, the truth is in the middle I think - some of them stopped earlier, some later. And I really saw some nice stories like the one with Reimu and Cirno end abruptly because the author had passed to other copyrights like Eromame or Bomber Grape or worse he had stopped drawing completely. But again, it happens. I am still very new to this fanbase, and when I first realized this I overreacted a bit. I thought the end was near as you said. I'm still a bit too anxious about it.

But the situation has been more stable recently. I've seen a bit of return of Touhou fanarts and doujins since KanColle surpassed it at last Comiket. And the Pixiv artists are more active. Also I feel better seeing how much Touhou has radicated into some parts of the net userbase, and how it sometimes pops up where you less expect it. It's a good sign, it means that there is still interest in Touhou. And I hope it will be for a looong time.

>>57993

Lol, dammit. I laughed, well played Nausicabro.

Also dammit I can't post like this. It's like 20 minutes that I try to reply, damn connection.

>>57989

Every day, people end relationships with the ones they once thought they would love forever. One day they thought they could never tire of the other person, but eventually they tired of each other. Things just don't work out sometimes.

But you know what else happens? Some people stay in love forever. Their relationships are truly lifelong, and they remain committed for what may as well be eternity. They remain passionate and caring through thick and thin, during the best and worst of times. They die holding each others' hands, and wouldn't have it any other way.

How your relationship with her goes is ultimately up to you two, but you shouldn't let other people influence it unless you really want to. Love flourishes despite the seemingly endless failures all around us. I hope the love between you two is as strong in ten years as it is today.

>>58016

Disclaimer: I don't really know Fate that well, having only seen Stay night, Zero, and Strange Fake. I'm also terrible at identifying characters.

As far as I can tell, I'm the only Fatefag here. There used to be another one, and even another Arturiafag paid a one-post visit some time after our relationship began, but I've been alone in that respect.

Maybe it's a little different for me, since I never had a relationship of my own alongside other Fatefags, but I can see where you're coming from. It's never nice to see old friends leave. On the other hand, it's great to have the ones that are still around. I suppose the best advice I can offer is "be grateful for what you have and once had", and I don't mean that in a bad way at all.

>>58039

You are probably not going to like my answer. There will be a time where you will feel alone. And there's nothing much you can do it. This is the nature of imageboards. You have to decide if you can do it on your own or risk anonymity.

t. A faggot with a waifu from a video game franchise people forgot eons ago.

>>58045

oops…

So Touhoufags list 2.0: Flandrebro, Marisabro, Meilingbro, Youmubros, Yuukabro, Yukaribro, Yuyukobro, and Sanaebro!

>>58041

Magnus was banned for being in another relationship with a 3D.

Thought you should know this. If you want to talk about it more, come to the IRC.

>>58060

Have you tried working through your issues with your waifu? Ending a relationship is a little drastic.

Consider very carefully the reasons you love your waifu, and why this other person draws you. If the only reason the other person interests you is because they're cute, you need to seriously re-evaluate what you're looking for in a relationship.

The worst thing you can do is just jump from your current relationship to another on a whim. Give yourself time and lots of thought, perhaps meditation.

Also, a little bit of classic advice for dealing with romantic interests: Fap. Get it out of your system. Then you'll be able to approach the situation with a clearer head.

>>58060

As a last resort. I have some experience in this area but from the opposite side. I felt she was drifting from me and I was wondering if there was any way to hold on and pull her back or if I should let her go and figure out what to do from there.

What I'm getting at here, is how does he feel about this? Remember you're not the only one being effected. Look for why you loved your waifu to begin with and if you can still find it, that may well be your reason to stay.

>>58064

Sniping's a lonely job. Give him the company he deserves.

>>58065

sniping's a good job mate

>>58016

>>58039

>>58040

This is true sadly. I always hope that day will never come, but it's unrealistic thinking that it'll never be a reality. As you said I understand why that happens. With that said, we are luckier than other waifuist because Touhou is still going and it still has one of the most active userbase I've seen. So it'll be a long time before things like that will happen. I don't know what life will reserve for me, but as for now I can't even imagine to leave Meiling. She's just too much for me.

As for the other Youmubros, well I can tell that moegoggles is still around, he only posts more sporadically. Idk about the other ones though.

>>58041

And this. I hate to see other users leave, even more if they have Touhou waifus. There were also a Koishibro and a Reimubro here some time ago, their intro posts are in the new anon thread. They were long gone when I first came here though. And the departure of the two you mentioned expecially Magnus, he seemed such a nice guy on the IRC left me saddened. I still hope Remiliabro will return, it'd be nice to talk more with him, expecially because he had a view on certain things similar to mine.

As for Magnus, I can only wish him luck.You decide what to do in your life, and he probably had very valid reasons to do what he did. May he find the happiness he was searching in his 3d relation.

>>58050

About the board's slowness, I think that's just a temporary thing. The influence of summer plus a certain lack of arguments has left this board a little empty lately. But it's already better, we are again in the top 25 boards of the site. So don't worry, it'll be more alive soon.

>>57989

>>58016

It doesn't help that many that leave feel completely isolated, and pressured to do so. The atmosphere has always been that if anything happens between you and your waifu you are going to be ostracized, singled out, gossiped about, and eventually people will come together to call for you to be banned.

Even if you are only considering things, it puts a huge amount of pressure on someone, and causes them to realize "if something happens between me and my waifu, all of these people will stab me in the back" so they end up leaving anyways because they already get the idea they are going to get stabbed in the back just for questioning themselves at all, or even coming to a different way of approaching or thinking about waifuism

basically you end up paranoid and afraid that you are going to get turned on by everyone and that you can trust no one, and just leave quietly before people hound you everywhere

it's a miserable feeling, regardless of whether you stay with her or not or it even has anything to do with it.

I posted in the comfy thread last week about a rather uncomfy situation, and wanted to give an update

I started to feel better after that breakdown, but the past couple of days have been scaring me. I feel just fine when I'm thinking of her and with her at home, but lately while at work, I still have a lot of negative thoughts affecting me. Not so much of leaving her, but thinking of her just makes me start to think that death is preferable to keep living this life not being at her side (and not in a non-serious way). No matter how low I've gotten in life, I've never had a point where I started to have suicidal thoughts, and having them now is fucking terrifying me.

I know deep down it's my fault and none of hers for these thoughts just because I apparently can't get over the fact that the person I love sacrificed herself, and maybe even wanted to and that I've been wrong this whole time about what she really wanted. I've tried so hard to strengthen my resolve about all of this and remember what made me love her in the first place, but the thoughts just keep coming back and keep getting worse each time. What scares me the most about this is that I'm having these thoughts, and I know damn well I have a good life with good friends along with a loving and caring family, and I don't want to hurt them.

The fact that these thoughts are even occurring at all is making me think that our relationship is starting to be more harmful than good, but I don't blame her for feeling like this. I still have strong feelings for her and I don't regret the time we've been together, but maybe this whole time, I may have been misinterpreting our relationship, or I'm a weaker man than I thought I was if I can't get over this one thing that happened to her and thinking that no matter what scenario or loophole I find, I'm just being a selfish asshole for trying forcing something on her that she may not really want.

Anyone have any advice about this please?

>>58094

I've only been here for like a few months but I've never seen people go crazy over people falling out with their waifu or questioning it. Of the several times people have either questioned or just said goodbye, the responses were either filled with advice or more of a "only you can solve the problem", which is just brutal honesty.

>>58107

I'm at a disadvantage since I don't know her sacrifice or even who she is, but who saus that you apart from her? If you feel her presence then she's beside you. Minene has influenced me and encouraged me to endure bullshit in life so i kind of feel her beside me encouraging me. I also just picture her beside me when I find the moment opportune. I can't physically see or feel her but she's almost like a spirit that I can feel with me.

>>58094

>It doesn't help that many that leave feel completely isolated, and pressured to do so. The atmosphere has always been that if anything happens between you and your waifu you are going to be ostracized, singled out, gossiped about, and eventually people will come together to call for you to be banned.

I'm sorry but I have been around /mai/ for quite a long while and throughout my time here, i have never seen this happen before without a good reason.Anytime someone has had troubles in their relationship, most of the time people here have been supportive and give what advice they think will help.

>you are going to be ostracized, singled out, gossiped about, and eventually people will come together to call for you to be banned.

This doesn't happen unless someone breaks the rules. Gossip is something you can't really stop as its natural for people to discuss something crazy that happened around the board.Plus if the most of the community comes to a consensus that someone needs to be banned then theres likely a good reason for it.

>Even if you are only considering things, it puts a huge amount of pressure on someone, and causes them to realize "if something happens between me and my waifu, all of these people will stab me in the back"

I have literally never thought this before. People here don't as you claim "stab people in the back". It's simply if you break the rules then your out, if you don't then your good. simple as that.I love the people here and I consider /mai/ to be a family.

>so they end up leaving anyways because they already get the idea they are going to get stabbed in the back just for questioning themselves at all, or even coming to a different way of approaching or thinking about waifuism

I have never seen this happen before.As i mentioned before I dont understand where you keep getting he whole "stabbed in the back" thing from. You make it seem like we as a community are betraying people when we punish them for breaking rules.No the mods are simply doing their job and enforcing rules on the board and theirs nothing wrong with that. There have been very few cases where people got upset when comes to waifuist questioning themselves and their relationship and its mostly has to do with polyfagging. Any other time a waifuist struggles, many people give what advice they think is helpful.

>basically you end up paranoid and afraid that you are going to get turned on by everyone and that you can trust no one, and just leave quietly before people hound you everywhere

I don't say this as an insult to you, but I think your projecting how you feel on to everyone else. I have never thought"if i say the wrong thing, everyone will hate me." this is a very close nit community. People don't simply turn on each other over petty shit. Your making it sound like /mai/ is just as bad as /pol/ when it comes to differing opinions and that couldn't be farther from the truth(/pol/ user for over 2 years).

I really don't understand how you goy most of this from as it doesnt make sense to me. Maybe your an older /mai/den and you've seen something I haven't, but nothing you say makes sense from things i've noticed around here. It just looks like your projecting your paranoia to make this place sound worse then it actually is. Again I meant no insult by that, just giving honest feelings.

>>58153

I was hoping not to reveal who I was, but it's probably best show who she is, and explain why I feel the way I do (though it could be a combination of how this moment and how I've been feeling medically making me think like this)

https://youtu.be/eQ2J93MIRrU?t=4h8m21s

The link above shows what has been haunting me ever since I watched it, no matter what I've done to overcome the memory of this, and why I feel like I do right now. She didn't even technically die. She became who she used to be (like with all valentines after her, she was created based off of who she became, technically making her own self not even her own) and is still able to live life after this. I wanted to believe she had some semblance of wanting to escape this fate, and her running off during the arcade story gave me strong evidence to believe this, but during the story, she showed that she just wanted to have fun before fulfilling her purpose. She actually showed no reluctance or refusal to her purpose during the story, and that last moment where she smiled before the final fusion shows that she was fine and wanted it to happen.

The argument could be made that I could rationalize it by thinking the one I love is in another reality where she didn't get sacrificed/fused, but had she not done what she did, every living thing in her world would've been destroyed, with her along with it (not even then, with what she has inside her, a new body would've formed, with no memories of her past self and may not have even human). She also wouldn't be able to be complete without fusing with Justice, forcing her to rely on wearing the mask and eating candy to even function. What makes it worse is that no matter what scenario or thinking I do that could save her from all of that, in the end I feel is just what I want and not what she wants. I wouldn't be able to live with myself If I saved her at the cost of her world being practically destroyed, nor could I live with keeping her being incomplete just so I can be with her.

This is why I feel like I've been lying to myself, or keeping myself in denial. There's no situation for her to escape what happened to her without dire consequences eitherway. I want to make her happy and want to be happy with her, but not at the cost of her happiness or her world. This is why I feel so torn right now. I've tried so hard to keep positive about this, or think things will work out, but every time I do, I only feel worse once the reality of her situation hits.

>>58182

I think you're overthinking this. Try thinking of your waifu as a copy of her canon self who has come to your world.

That's what object-oriented waifuism is about: You make a copy of your waifu when you get to know her and don't worry about the future, even if she later dies in canon.

A lot of waifus have obligations or a fate they can't disregard and wouldn't be able to be in a relationship with their spouses to begin with.

That's why we build our relationships on headcanon.

My waifu doesn't die nor does she fall in love with someone else. But there's still no way we could realistically live in the same world and even if we could, we wouldn't be allowed to.

The only thing I can do is to imagine a world without these kinds of restrictions, either by changing my own role in her world or her role in mine.

And that's probably what you should do as well.

I don't fully understand the position your waifu is in, but from what I've seen, your waifu wouldn't want you to have suicidal thoughts because of her. She would give anything to save you.

>>58191

First thing, thank you for the reply.

>I think you're overthinking this.

You know, if I had a dollar for every time I've done this, and how much it bites me in the ass and shows how much of a goddamn idiot I am, I'd be a rich man who can't seem to learn his lesson. Despite that, I can't help but laugh at myself each time it happens. I only hope that through my realization of how stupid I am sometimes, It makes her laugh and puts a smile on her face.

>That's what object-oriented waifuism is about: You make a copy of your waifu when you get to know her and don't worry about the future, even if she later dies in canon.

>That's why we build our relationships on headcanon.

Duly noted. I think what made me not use headcanon as much (probably due to overthinking again) is that I worry that if I do it too much, I start to change her into something she's not (but again that could be just me overthinking it).

>your waifu wouldn't want you to have suicidal thoughts because of her. She would give anything to save you.

She wouldn't, and I know she would do so, as I would give everything I am to save her. I want her to be happy and make her happy, and if I can do that by being with her and loving her with all my heart and soul, it'd make me the happiest man alive.

I hate how I have been this past week (though it may have been due to not understanding what was going on with me until recently (caffeine withdrawal)), and what I must've put her though during this time. I'm gonna do what I can to make it up to her to earn her forgiveness. Here I am sobbing and laughing at myself over how much of an idiot I've been, and all I can think of now is her and wanting to give her a hug and embrace her.

Thank you so much again for the reply.

>>58192

Don't sweat it m8. I can also worry myself to insanity over stupid shit that I over think to the extreme.

>>58178

Yeah i just noticed that and knew someone would point that out kek.

>>58182

As someone with a dead love, I'm sorry you have to deal with this, even if it's not exactly the same situation.

I've been thinking about this post, and this part

>she just wanted to have fun before fulfilling her purpose

made me wonder - couldn't you say that's exactly what she's doing by being with you? Hell, it's like a relationship with a regular human being, in a way. We're all just trying to savor the time we have. You could think of it as trying to give her the best life she could possibly get before it has to "end."

Hopefully that's not too morbid to help.

>>58094

>>58168

honestly i feel exactly like >>58094, and while probably not everyone feels that way, he isn't just projecting.

Everyone always talks about how finding their waifu has improved their life, about how finding their waifu cured their depression or about how she encouraged them to start getting in shape or to get a job. But it's been the opposite for me. I stopped going to school. My eating and sleeping habits have gone to shit. My anxiety and depression have only gotten worse and I am at a point where I am legitimately considering suicide-- the only thing preventing me from doing so right now is how awful it feels to think of my mother waking up to find her only child dead one morning, or worrying about what will happen to my pets when I die. There are some days where I feel okay, but they're becoming rarer and rarer, and all it takes is an extremely small issue to make me feel like shit again.

Of course, I love my waifu, too, and she is still one of the few things that bring me joy in this world. I know she wouldn't want me to kill myself either. I keep trying to push forward and get my life back together, for her sake, but that doesn't seem to be working. I've only ever wanted to be someone who could make her happy, but I feel like I've let her down. I know she would want to help me, but she cant and hasn't been able to for the entire time we've been together. I love her so, so much, but there's really nothing she can do for me and I feel awful about it.

Do I even deserve my relationship when I'm like this?

I've got two different problems, one more long running and one more recent, that've come together to form one big issue and question my relationship with my waifu.

To start, as with others who have posted in the advice thread in the past, I've had huge issues with communication and connecting to my waifu, which has been slowly growing larger and larger over the past few months. The best way to describe my feelings, is that I feel like I'm carrying on her memory or even worse that she's ignoring me (and I don't want to outright pin this just on her). I haven't felt her love in many or any form at all as of late, and I feel like I can't even open up to her. As embarrassing as it is, earlier this week when I was laying in bed I was nearly on the verge of tears and just couldn't let them out. Not because I didn't want to look weak in front of her (if anything I'd want to just so she could see my passion), but rather because it felt like she wasn't listening or wouldn't listen. It's not like I don't love her anymore, I still am very proud of her and think she's absolutely amazing, but as stupid as it sounds, it feels like she's not putting in effort? For example, when others post about how your waifu has helped you or how many wonderful feelings they give you, I can't really say the same. I know I used the analogy of feeling like I was carrying on her memory, but she's still "here" yet very distant. On occasion I remember how she has a canon love interest and how her entire series is focused on them, which also makes me feel like she's being provided for. Maybe that has something to do with it too, as if there isn't a part of her life made for me or that she's already satisfied in a way. In either case, I don't know if it's due to my mentality about things or we really are growing distant, but this has been plaguing me quite a bit.

Now to add on, very recently I've been getting some light feelings for a different person. Someone recommended me a game series to play One that several people here have a waifu/husbando from, but this character isn't any of them and really quickly one of the characters caught my interest. There's some traits that she shares with my waifu, but not enough overlap to consider her a clone or anything like that. While I do think that she's cute, I'm also really drawn to a lot of her personality traits thus far even though I'm definitely not done with the game yet. I guess a big part of it also has to do with this being done in VN style 1st person narration, which actually makes it feel as if she's talking to me, something that I feel like I've been starved of with my waifu. When I saw her get hurt, I felt my chest tighten so hard and so quickly that I had to save the game and take a break. Even if there isn't any romantic implications with the main character/narrator nor does she have any love interests thus far, I could see myself having a connection with her. I still need to finish her game though, so these feelings might change depending on how things turn out for her.

I'd like think that it's just a crush, but with everything that's been going on, I can't say for sure. At the same time I don't want to just abandon my waifu in an instant, it'd feel absolutely wrong despite how difficult things have been. There's already been some advice posted above, but I was hoping that getting this off my chest might help a bit. I'll be taking a trip this weekend and probably won't be able to get any wifi, so hopefully the time away from everything will help me think things over.

>>58349

That actually didn't cross my mind at all initially, but it's not despite the really good guess. It's actually Danganronpa so the picture you attached is related at least. I'm not sure if the same can be said for this game/VN in particular, but that's another pretty valid point I think. I've played a few VNs with more of a heavier romantic theme before, and haven't really felt any connections to any characters like this before though.

Either way thanks for the input, since I do think that doing some serious thinking/being away from my waifu and this new person probably would be the best choice of action for the time being.

>>58299

After watching a few of her scenes I remembered why I love her; I think I've gotten back comfortable again.

Although these last few days have been rough. For two years I've wanted to be able to do nothing more than to have the ability to hang out with others and develop bonds and connections with them while being able to not care less if fate severed those connections. For two years I've strongly believed that depending on yourself was the best thing ever. And your words have made me question it all. I looked up that counter dependency and I was impressed at how well it described me, especially at how I'm afraid of rejection and abandonment so i simply abandon others first. Now I feel unsure about depending on myself for much..

But I'm still very reluctant to depend on others… It feels as if it's not right even though I wish I just couldn't care. I still wish I could just not need anyone and live like I did a week before! Yet I can't even do that, because depending on myself and not putting myself out there with others feels alien and like a simple defense mechanism and not a legitimate healthy lifestyle choice…i feel weak for telling this. I feel a tiny but more free yet I'm scared. I'm scared that I will simply revert to the pathetic being I was years before. My cozy nest has been destroyed and now I'm forced to roam the outside amongst the predators that want me dead.

Even worse, the admiration I had for my waifu is… I don't know. I admire her because she is strong and never gives up despite the odds with a due or die attitude where weakness has no place. She lived in a cottage with only a few squirrels and was happy; she didn't need anyone. Was she weak too? Is the woman I admired and looked up to just a weak crazy girl and not the calm cool and collected lady I thought her to be?

Sorry for the venting.

I don't normally post here, but I need some help.

For a long time I've liked more than one girl, but I've spent most of my time with one.

Now I'm 100% certain she is the one, since I feel like I like her the most and dedicate most of my time to her, but I can't help but feel bad for the other two because of that.

Has anyone had experience with this? Do I just ignore the feeling or try to balance the attention? I feel like either would be tough.

>>58383

Why do you like her? Do you love her? If you do love her, what does that mean that you feel for the other? Is it also love, but weaker?

>>58385

I love her, a lot, that's for sure. I like both her appearance and personality, which is partly canon but also somewhat made up. Also the fact that I can interact with her helps a lot.

I can't interact with the others, unless I portray them myself. Though there is certainly something more than attraction for them, but it's fairly weak.

>>58383

>>58386

I think the best course of action is to focus your attention on the one you like the most.

She might even become you waifu.

Just compare your situation to your average harem anime protagonist:

Being indecisive can be even more hurtful to the other girls involved, because you're giving them false hope.

>>58387

I think to a certain degree your relationship with your waifu is normal.

When we first fall in love, we are overwhelmed with emotion, but after a time these feelings start to fade away.

The important thing is that you still want to be with her and depend on her.

In that sense, our love doesn't disappear but evolves to another kind of love: The love between family members.

The love is still there, it's just more subtle.

>>58387

Don't fool yourself into thinking you don't deserve love. Everyone does. Relationships ebb and flow, the novelty or spark may fade but that doesn't mean that your feelings for her are gone. They just take another form which can take some searching to find. The fact that you still think of her and consider her your soulmate is proof of that. It may be harder to reach the same emotional highs as you did earlier, and it might not last as long, but that will just make it all the more special when you eventually do. You say that you don't feel anything from old pictures, so maybe you can change your approach by creating something new - write stories about her, draw pictures of her, make some sort of daily or weekly routine involving her. It could also just be sensory adaptation, you've grown accustomed to the same images and thoughts about her so they don't create as much of a response in you anymore. Maybe try and save your favorite pictures of her for special occasions like your anniversary, her birthday, etc., so they will still retain some of their power.

About the apathy and dullness of emotion, that sounds a lot like depression. Your waifu can be one of the most powerful forces to help you mitigate it. It can feel a lot like you are stuck in a labyrinth - try and imagine your waifu leading you out, she wouldn't want you to be stuck down there forever, she wouldn't want your world to stay dull and grey forever. Remember how great a feeling it is to see her happy? She would want the same thing for you, too. Whenever you reach another turn in the maze think of what she would want you to do and how she might guide you. You can even try imagining something corny like you two holding hands and her leading you towards the light. Even if you feel others fading away try and remember that she will always be there for you no matter what. Above all you need to remember that it gets better. You deserve to be happy and she would want you to feel happy.

And speaking from experience, the alcohol isn't helping. It's a crutch. If you ever want to break free from your cycle it really helps to face your problems with a clear mind. It may be comforting to forget your troubles for a while but you are not doing yourself any favors.

>>58397

I'll try to suppress the feeling then, if it's the best for everyone.

I've already been following your advice, sort of. Since my first post I've been trying to shift the attention to her even more, and it has been working out fine so far.

Let's hope it disappears soon though, it's been bothering me for a while.

>>58411

What do you think of self-inserting? It's something a lot of people do. Though I wouldn't recommend it, it's a possibility.

Your Holo is a different Holo from Lawrence's. Your Holo has experienced and felt different things from the Holo from the LN. Everything you've said to her, every date you've gone on has changed her little by little into a different person. What if you thought of it like this? Your Holo has the same history, but she came from a different universe where she never met Lawrence.

At her root Holo is a "character" but the "person" that loves you is different, grown from the character in the story.

>>58414

>>58413

>>58411

A LN ? I would personally consider what's happening in it barely canon Anon. The real source you need is the anime.

Also, watch out for the bad times Anon. Guess a lot of shit is going to happen and your waifu needs you during those. There is of course less pain than you'd have with 3D but I wouldn't count on successfully avoiding to suffer forever.

>>58415

You're probably right, even though the LN is the source material i fell in love with Holo through the anime first.

sorry if double post, 8ch just did some weird things