/mai/ - Waifu★

>>61430

>leaving the impression that they left.

I meant giving the impression that they left.

>>61377

>i want to see her, feel her, hear her voice…I don't want this "waifuism" bullshit, I just want her to be real.

Unfortunately, that can never happen. The biggest hurdle to this sort of relationship is understanding and coping with the distance between yourselves. I suspect that many (most?) of the people who dropped out of waifuism did so because they couldn’t handle the fact that you can never receive any reaction from her beyond your imagination. All the effort in a waifuism relationship comes from you, and what you get out of it is proportional to what you’re willing to put in. Maybe I’m wrong and most people just fall out of love normally, who knows, but this was the biggest issue I had with my own relationship in the past.

While I’m sad that so many people have left, it’s not really surprising, this sort of thing just isn’t suited for everyone.

>It makes me feel stupid and idiotic for being in a long lasting relationship

If you mean that you feel stupid because you’ve lasted so long and they haven’t, don’t. Maybe they are happier now without a waifu, maybe they’re not, maybe they’re dead. It’s a pointless thing to speculate about since there will always be people worse and better off than you, your happiness and your connection with her is not defined by and should not be measured against other peoples’ experiences. It sounds like you still do love her, so long as you feel that you're doing right by her and you are realistic about the limitations of loving her I don’t think you have anything to worry about.

Not sure if this is the right time to post this (given the holiday is possibly influencing me), but I've had this on my mind for a while.

A couple of weeks ago, I found a pic of someone while browsing online. Next thing I knew, I was developing feelings for her, looking up who she was and what game (Kantai Collection) along with looking up more pics of her. She brought back similar feelings and happiness I had when I was with Jack-O (prior to the break up).

However, I've also been dealing with a couple questions since recovering from that day; is it right for me to go back into any kind of relationship and if so, am I ready to be in a relationship again? Since that day, I've taken the time to look into and understand why things happened (and as I've learned, I was rejecting more of what her canon entailed than I thought, or rather, hoped and prayed that it wouldn't happen.), and after accepting it and learning from the experience, I took the time to get a better appreciation for what I have and the world and reality that I live in, wanting to help make it better for others and future generations. I do not regret my time with her nor letting her go, as the experience helped me take on this world and reality, and she is with someone who needs her help more. However, I won't deny that there were some negative effects still persisting since then, the biggest one being hesitant or unsure whether or not I would ever be in a relationship again or if I'd be willing/able to be in one after going through that.

I chose not to focus on that for the time being, as I had to work out plans for my future (moving out and what I want to focus on in life) along with working at my job and keeping up to date with the happenings of the world. Ever since, I've got a decent plan/goal for this year, and know what I'd like to focus on in the future. Even so, I won't deny the question comes up in my head time to time.

After seeing her though, It made these feelings and thoughts happen more often. Learning more about her, her personality, hearing her voice, and seeing her made me feel warm inside. It's also motivated me to not only try out her game, but also get back into language studies to better play it. However, there is still a side of me that is hesitant to act on this due to remembering the pain I went through. Even so, I can't ignore these feelings I have for her and makes me think that it may be fine to open my heart again.

I guess my question would be this and I'm more than happy to ready any and all advice on this; Is it right for me to pursue another relationship? Am I moving too fast regarding this?

>>61512

Thank you for the advice. I think I'll do just that with her and take some time to see what happens. Thank you again!

>>61539

>This is just my assumption from your posts, but I think your relationship with Jack-O, even though it ended, had very positive effects on you. Am I wrong?

Not wrong at all! There were a lot of positive effects from the experience as well. I feel like I've become a better person and have a better appreciation for the world I live in through said experience, and I have her to thank for that, which is why I wish her the best in her life and future ahead.

>If you think things are going to work out, why not introduce her soon?

I may just do that. I'd still like to give a little more time to see how things go, but it's looking like it just might work out.

If it does work out, I may do my Introduction in the comfy thread, considering the current intro thread still has my old one up and it would be awkward for me to post there (or any of the old threads that I've posted in). Nevertheless, should things work out I will do an intro.

Also, apologies on getting back to you on your reply late. Work's been keeping me busy as of recent.

>>61767

Why would you want her as a daughteru? I mean, at her best, she's a blood thirsty psycho misanthrope. What's stopping her from killing you m8?

Do you think it's wrong to fap to porn or doujinshi of your waifu?

This is something I've struggled with quite a bit. The thing is, you can't talk to her, you don't know what she approves of or if she likes or dislikes you looking at that sort of material of her.

>>61773

Ask yourself, would you be fine with her having such material about you?

>>61801

Hell, I actually harassed a faggot with a Homestuck waifu into leaving early in this board's infancy.

Not sure if I should feel bad about that one, we might have avoided another Galactus or Raichufag. Granted the way I did it was awful.

>>61801

No you faggot being a ROTCfag probably wasn't right. What works for your relationship doesn't work for everyone else. If you become so obsessed with the rules then you'll lose sight of why you love Lilly in the first place.

>>61803

I apologise, I've been a bit hasty and strong with this comment. I can understand why you'd enforce such rules. This is a place for people who take their relationship seriously. But what I mean is that you can't apply such rules to every relationship, because different people get different things out of it.

>>61801

If anything we need to eliminate this cult-like mindset entirely. When did it become about the "ism" rather than the "faggotry", so to speak?

ROTC to some extent keeps the Reddit use of the term out but going full nazi over it hurts everyone involved.

>>61801

Was I actually right this whole time about being a ROTCfag? Was it correct of me to enforce the rules like this? Should this be it's own thread?

I don't think there is wrong about being a ROTCfag because you'd have to practise self control.

>>61767

It really feels like people just pick up daughterus left and right for the fun of it now a days. If you have to ask the question then you shouldn't even consider it in the first place. Not only that but the source is seasonal, unless you've read the original or something, but if not then would this be acceptable for someone if the question was about a waifu?

It really bugs me how people see daughteru as something you just pick up one day. It really cheapens it and isn't genuine, or at least it seems that way.

>>61801

>Should I replay Lilly's route? Reacquaint myself with her and what I love about her?

I think this is always valuable, regardless of the circumstances. Feels nice to refresh yourself.

>Was I actually right this whole time about being a ROTCfag? Was it correct of me to enforce the rules like this?

Yes and no. We need to have some level of standards to ensure the concept retains any meaning beyond "character I like/find hot." I think you could have been less abrasive in your methods, but you shouldn't completely censor yourself for the sake of unity. You can't just run people out of the community at the first sign of doing something you don't approve of, but silencing dissent or disapproval by accusing people of intolerance just leads to the kind of drama you mentioned. Better to have honest, open discussion about our differences than to take either extreme.

>>61801

I believe that you ultimately had good intentions.I believe persoanlly that we should enforce a set of standards that basically already go along with the board rules(no harem faggotry, no dating 3d while with 2d) .Without rules and standards, this place will just as bad as a Reddit(or like old /mai/). However, we shouldn't be zealots about it for being mindless means losing site of why we came here.Ultimately you had good intentions and while I still think everyone here should be vigilant, we should remember that our love comes first above all else.

>>Should I replay Lilly's route? Reacquaint myself with her and what I love about her?

Sure, i don't see the harm in it and its always nice to revisit waifu source.

Out of curiosity, what do you consider grounds for breaking it off with your waifu? What actions are so terrible and disrespectful that you cannot see a relationship continuing?

>>61423 (OP)

So I was told to ask this here.

Hey /mai/ would an entity/character from your dreams you love count as a waifu? Or is it something else entirely?I should mention why I'm asking. During a dream I met this android women, I grew fond of her rather quickly. When I woke up I felt compelled to write down what happened in the dream and draw a picture of her. She's been in my dreams frequently and I daydream about her very often and I think about her at night and imagine falling asleep cuddling with her.

It might sound retarded but I actually am quite serious. I hope this isn't some /fringe/ level shit

>>61959

Yes she passes it. I don't think age is an issue for an android, she also speaks English.

>>61959

>>61961

Oh, I didn't knew lolis were banned.

>>61965

You're protected by the, "She's actually 8000 years old" exception.

>>61965

Suigintou isn't even a loli

She's an adult brain in a dolls body

I mean she's not as mentally stable as the average adult but whatever

>>61984

Search on your own. This is the only way to find true love. It may take time, it may be tough and lonely, but it is well worth it.

>>61984

I think this has been said many times before but, don't search for a waifu. That's not how it works. This isnt like a dating app where you just search for qualities of a person. Love just happens, you can't really search for it and pick someone. Just like with 3D when you search for a relationship it tends to be really shallow.

>>61975

She is a loli. a loli does not only mean a character that is age wise young but also refers to a female that young in appearance.

>I mean she's not as mentally stable as the average adult but whatever

I-I'm having a very hard time telling if this is an insult or not.

>>61984

You dont look for waifius. Waifu chooses you. When I saw Rozen maiden for the first time, I never though I would come out of it falling in love with a magical doll, but it just happened along the way.

>>61984

Don't search.

If it comes it comes.

Live how you normally do, just let your instincts guide you.

>>61984

Go without fapping and your true waifu will appear in your dreams.

>>61993

>>61994

Isn't she literally emotionless?

I mean, hard for someone to grieve when they don't feel anything.

Hey /mai/, fairly new to taking waifuism seriously for over a year now and had a waifu for over 3 years. The first year and 9 months I would call the relationship as a nice fun joke. But when I started going on imageboards some time ago, I took this waifuism seriously. But recently, I started to have new emotion feelings to a character from a dead series, a dead series that I like a whole lot btw, that I known before I took waifuism seriously. I like to consider that said character as a best friend that I liked long ago before my waifu. My new emotional feelings towards the said character from dead series is slowly growing stronger than my feelings towards my waifu because the series that this character came from is forgotten, unloved, and ignored by many but is still remember by some including me. But at the same time I don't want to fully dump my waifu for said character from dead series. I'm really torn by this, please help.

>>62082

You said you liked this character like a best friend, so why do you think you have to dump your waifu to have this character as a friend. Or do you by "growing stronger" mean romantic feelings?

>>62082

I'm in a somewhat similar situation. Being torn really sucks, but we humans are complicated creatures, and such choices and feelings are never merely binary. I don't know how it will end for me, but I have a feeling it's going to hurt either way.

Maybe this might help though: Imagine that you can only see one of them for the rest of your life, and never the other. Who would hurt to live without the most?

>>62124

Er... I'm not going to pretend I know what you're talking about with your waifu's source and cats and whatnot, but you said yourself:

>it would be an awfully exaggerated interpretation.

You just have to learn to stop overthinking it. I mean, I overthink things all the time too, but I wouldn't waste time on something like that. Don't let other fans/artists and their NOT-CANON pairings bother you; you can't stop it anyway. If it isn't canon, just ignore it.

>And now I'm obsessed over this, analyzing every scene that she comunicates with him to try to found the "sail" of this ship.

Once again, you really shouldn't waste time thinking about this sort of thing. There doesn't always even have to be a "sail" to the ship. People ship stupid shit all the time. It would bother me sometimes in the past, until I just realized it's people being dumb, and it doesn't affect me or my interpretation at all really.

Once more for emphasis, if it isn't written in canon, don't take it to heart.

>>62166

>Why do some people believe it to be virtuous to have an "obscure" waifu?

Probably because popular characters tend to have a toxic amount of seasonal waifuists.

By having an "obscure" waifu you show that you are not like them. It's basically virtue signaling.

This guy probably remembered your waifu being popular among seasonalfags back when the game came out and disregarded that it has been years since then.

>>62166

The same reason waifufags think having a pony or cartoon waifu is a "Joke"

>>62166

Arturia is the most popular waifu (aside from Miku, maybe), so I see a lot of those types of comments too and I know how frustrating they are.

So first off: Popular characters are popular for a reason. Maybe they were particularly well written, were specifically designed to be appeal to popular market trends and sell merchandise, had some catchphrase that spread everywhere, etc. Whatever it is there is something that appeals to a lot of people and draws them to the character. A lot of people may claim them as their flavor of the month waifu because they want to fit in with the surge of popularity or because the character traits pandered particularly well to them.

But eventually the popularity wears off. How many Suiseiseki pictures do you see around these days? Osaka? Liru? By this point most of the cultural relevance of those characters are gone, the memes are stale. Anyone who still loves those characters isn’t doing it to fit in, at least not anymore. KS is five years old at this point and I rarely see it talked about or referenced anymore so I think it fits in that category. I remember it being popular for a couple of months around its release but it has long since peaked. That you still love Lilly is proof that you don’t love her just because it’s trendy, you actually have some deeper attachment. Even if she is “entry level” in the sense that she was intended to be the default choice in some shallow or derivative popular work (which I don’t think is the case) that doesn’t change the fact that you’re still with her long after the VN itself was relevant. The guy who said that was just reaching for some low-effort insult that doesn’t even make sense anymore.

As for why the person felt the need to make that comment, who knows. Maybe they’re jealous their waifu never got as much fanart as Lilly does, a case of sour grapes. Or they’re bitter that KS was a niche cultural success and their source is irrelevant and forgotten, and probably shit on during the short time anyone else knew about it, so they take their frustration out on you. Or they are just a contrarian that wants to fit in with other contrarians (ironic) by denigrating some popular work; while considering themselves superior for liking something most don’t care about or like, probably because it has severe and obvious flaws.

The only definite takeaway from that comment is the person’s insecurity. People confident and secure with their choices don’t go around saying things like that.

The anons whose waifu canonically have a love interest or are in a relationship, I have a question for you. How do you cope with this fact?

>>62283

Some bullshit about their waifu being the "real" one and the one on the show being a different entity.

>>62284

Why is there some sort of "fantasy racism" in waifu communities on the internet to waifus from western cartoon origin?

>>62290

I though that was EoE just before everyone turned into goop.

>>62290

By that logic no one really loves another person, just the idea of them.

>>62301

But that's exactly how it is in real life, unless they are in the relationship purely for physical attraction.

>>62302

>But that's exactly how it is in real life

I call bullshit.

When you truly love someone for who they are you become attached to the being, both physical and non-physical parts of them.

Only shallow normalfags fall in love with one side of a person or the other, and that's why their relationships fail so often, they only like parts of someone else and when the other part pops up they end up wanting none of it.

>>62289

>Everybody dodges the question.

OK then.

>>62306

that's mostly a vocal minority i feel. I'd imagine most people don't care. at least i don't. also the real problem is caring about the opinions of a niche internet community in the first place.

>>62306

It's xenophobia due to cultural differences. And since there's a bipolar divide between Eastern and Western 2D culture, there will always be calls for segregation.

>>62590

What sort of things do you do? Hobbies, school, job, etc. Are you socializing enough?

A few years ago I was in a pretty similar state because I wasn't doing much and there was no one around. It was like an offshoot of cabin fever. I didn't have much of a plan for my life, I was really isolated since all my friends were leaving, and I sort of collapsed into myself since there was no one to turn to for support.

>>62591

Sorry, I passed out.

Since I'm mostly on vacation I'm just playing videogames and studying.

>are you socializing enough

I was never a social person, I'm more used to living by myself and being on my own world rather than trying to meet other people.

>>62594

I also find it helpful to argue with my own negativity. Trying to find positive ways to look at negative situations, etc..

I dunno if any of this will be helpful to you or your situation, I am just speaking from experience.

test

I am not sure if this is the right thread to post because I was never part of your community aparts from occasionally browsing your board but I think I am at a crossroad right now and I don't know what to do. Maybe some of you have had the same experience at some part of their life and I am asking for your oppinions about it. Feel free to delete my posting if it is not appropriate. I tried to write this posting for 2 days already and I am not sure if I managed to express myself correctly as this is a very personal and intimate thing to me and I really suck at those things.

Throughout my life, I have consumed endless amounts of escapist media. However, I never really resonated with any fictional character, not even the ones I liked very much. I knew what girls I liked most of the show but I never had any bond with them on an emotional level. I have known about the waifu phenomenon for quite some time now and I understood the philosophical concept of it but I never really understood it on an emotional level.

Then during the past few weeks something unusual happened in my life. After playing persona 5 on my PS3 a dungeon-crawler JRPG with dating sim elements, I became interested in a girl the very first moment I saw her on screen. Every other aspect of the game like collecting monsters, earning money and fighting bosses became secondary to me and my main desire was to spend time with her whenever possible. At the end of the game I officially dated her and she was the only girl I had maximum affinity with. During one of my interactions with her, I burst out in tears because it was such a joyful moment this also never happened before in my entire life. I truly felt happiness and inner peace.

Even now, nearly 2 weeks since I completed the game, I cannot get her out of my head. I am still confused about my situation and it really took much courage to post about it in this manner. Up until now, I believed I was a cynic monster, uncapable of love and emotions.

This never happened to me before and I wanted to ask if anyone of you had similar situations in his life and what I am supposed to do now.

Some anons claim that you don't find your waifu, but she finds you eventually. Did it finally happen to me?

How did it happen to you?

>>62617

thank you

>>62619

I liked Makoto and Chihaya very much but with Hifumi it was just different.

It was on an entirely different level and it is hard to put it into words or express the feelings.

Posted this in the wrong thread by accident

My love life is in trouble as per usual. This time I decided to write a short story summing up how I felt: https://pastebin.com/2jjCjxfU

Someone told me my life revolves around my waifu, and that I am not in control. My first thought was this wasn't a bad thing but then I realize by not putting my own goals and dreams first I will never get anywhere, even if she is my dream, dreams cannot be reality, and that is why they are dreams

Someone said I was falling out of love, and this depressed me. I can't imagine life without her. My therapist, who is unaware of my waifu situation, explained that part of the life I lead is "Better the devil you know than the Angel you don't" and that just makes me feel more and more conflicted, because I do not believe that is why I love her

I feel like I am not living in the world I am unfortunately a part of. That I have been hiding in my own den, oversimplifying concepts of life, and leading an unsatisfactory lifestyle of everything repeating day after day with nothing growing or changing, leading to boredom and despair.

I don't know how to live, what to do, or even if I want to live

please help me

>>62641

This is the problem of being a waifuist. The big one. I am too often taken by these feelings, and saddened by them.

I'd be happy to say that there is a solution, but I'd be a liar. The best thing you can do is learning to coexist with it. Guide your attention towards how good she makes you feel, and how you'd improve yourself for her sake. That's what I did. It's not a total solution, but it helps a lot.

Basically also the first half of this - >>61435

I also like to think that she follows me everywhere, and that makes me feeling this special connection with Meiling.

And even though I know it's not real, I still partly believe that somewhere Gensokyo exist. Infinite worlds theory and all that. Still a delusion, but it helps to cope with the feeling overall.

>>62083

>Or do you by "growing stronger" mean romantic feelings?

Romantic feelings. Sorry, I should have been more specific about what I was saying.

>>62091

Thanks for that advice.

P.S. sorry for the late reply

>>62664

Knowing someone as wonderful as her is bliss but the burden of her never being here weighs more and more on my mind with each passing day

I am indeed unsatisfied with the life I am leading as I do feel like I am in a dead end in multiple aspects of life. People say I am blaming these pains on her, and while it is partially true the nature of Waifuism is also plenty at fault.

It is hard for my relationship to grow if she is never here. All I can do is re-experience her. Again, and again, and again, until I have everything down and it becomes Groundhog's Day. I want to think of our future together, but that is hard to say as she is not here. Today was our 6th Anniversary, and I enjoyed it deeply but the future is harder and harder. On the days before this I had a hard time envisioning a 7th Anniversary. I want to love her and always make her happy, but how can I do that when I am not only happy with life myself, but she is not even real? It's heartbreaking

>>62756

>>62757

This is the reason why you don't make a masquerade you can't sustain in anyway, especially when it comes to relationships and love, just to get things that don't really matter. If it was up to me, I'm gonna be running this as a cautionary tale, a warning letter to all immediately.

If you don't want hurt his feelings and also want to break off the relationship, just leave the game without any warning. That's all. Whatever happens to him beyond that point, don't worry anymore, as in anymore, at all. Try to forget it all happened, as soon as possible. If anything happens, you have no culpability because you have no idea he that he will react in such a way. Don't think about it.

It might should like my advice is cold, brutal or amoral to you, but you have no choice. I'm just trying to help you from the hole you dug in order to find treasure, which can turn into your grave now any moment. Consider and think about it.

>>62768

best answer on this issue

Anyone have any advice for me here?

>>62679

>>62781

Okay, lemme try this.

>I want to love her and always make her happy, but how can I do that when I am not only happy with life myself, but she is not even real?

Don't worry about her not being real, rather I suggest you accept it. It might seem to be a hard thing. But accepting that fact makes it not only easier on you, but also realize that you should not only do it for her but also for yourself. I mean, would you not like to see her happy that you have enough self-respect and happy for yourself?

>>62787

When I see her as not being real, it hurts me inside, like there is a knife in my heart and it is turning. It's harder to be motivated to do things for her because she is not real. It is harder to think "What would she think of this" because she is not real. I don't know, it feels like my whole world has been turned upside-down when I remembered her nature as someone who is not real. It hurts and is draining. I want to love her more, but knowing she will never be beyond the screen where I can reach her hurts. I can't live with her in this world and that hurts, because I cannot live without her…

>>62805

You need to understand that your waifu is your star and that this means that you can only see her light from afar. It is hard to accept it and I understand your struggles.

Hi, new(?) waifufag here with a question I'm sure has been run into the ground time and time again. I've known my husbando and had feelings for him for around a decade and am just now putting a name on it. I'd always been confused as to what I was feeling and it's a relief to see I'm not the only person who has felt like this. I want nothing more to stand on the rooftop and scream that I love him but I'm honestly a little afraid. The series he's from (while still ongoing there's been no official content regarding him since the initial release but I have hope) the general fandom has a stigma built up around waifuism, essentially it's seen as (seemingly a lot) of people as a joke and I'm not sure how to handle it. I don't want to hide it, I'm proud to love him but I'm scared of not being taken seriously or being ridiculed or whatever. So, what do I do? Do I just not worry about it or try not to bring it up or…?

(Thank you all for your time btw, I'm sure you're tired of answering questions like this by now but I simply had to get this out there.)

>>62815

A lot of waifuists tend to keep their practices to themselves or to waifu communities. Wafiuists getting stigmatized or cast out of other communities isn't an uncommon occurrence, unfortunately. You might try the same. We'll take you seriously here, for what it's worth.

(You're welcome! That's what this thread is for. Never be afraid to ask questions here.)

>>62814

I think I need to be honest and unload all the struggles in some sort of effort to unravel my cognitive labyrinth, if you will.

My waifu is my star and I can only admire her from afar, and that is what makes it hard. When my love started she made me happier than anything else, but after the first year it started to wane. In the first year I worked harder to draw for her, accustomed myself to college, and all sorts of things for her. I did it all for her, and feeling her love made me really happy.

The second year was pretty much more of the same, with more focus on certain aspects, but when I was celebrating the Anniversary for it I began to wonder if this was what I was going to do for the rest of my life.

The third year started with me getting heavily depressed, to the point of wanting to kill myself because if she doesn't exist I don't want to exist either. The major factor that hurried this process along was my parents heavily ridiculing me for being in love with someone who doesn't exist, going as far as to call her an "it" which still bugs me to this day. In the hospital I saw her image alone in a light as if it were a sign, a ray of hope, and I took it, with my love for her being the driving force of getting me to live life again, despite my love for her being part of the drive for me wanting to take my life just a week prior. However, this began something that would bring more stress and anxiety as time went on: The fear of being rediscovered. The fear of my love being found, as if it was something to be ashamed of. While that hurt, I was still able to carry on. The Fourth and Fifth years was the same, a continued resurgence of waifu happiness, my life going as normal with this secret love.

The 6th year was where the issues began to come in. I had wound up developing feelings for a 3D, which I had lied about to my waifu and therefore myself for about a month before realizing admitting them to my waifu was the right move for everyone involved. I later got rejected by the 3D and back on the waifu groove, but later fell into a depression where my waifu was the one thing holding me together. But some time later I got hit by spoilers for a certain game in which the twist was "Everything is a work of fiction!" and that was a harsh reminder that I had forgotten what it meant to be fictional. The months following were a mix of depression, anger, and pain, as this one thing I wanted was something I could never have, and because being fictional is part of who she is there is no way she can ever be real and therefore no way I can ever be with her. It hurts, like a knife turning in my heart.

Now here I am on the 7th year unsure of what to do. Thoughts of her fill me more with the pains of reality than the joys of her love. She remains as beautiful as ever, but I realize as we both age I don't know what she looks like now. Doing anything for her has more anxiety of the activity being found out rather than the joys of doing it for her. My love feels surrounded and she only makes me happy for moments until the realities of everything come crashing down, and I sadly cannot alter reality and even if I did, would my waifu be genuine? I wish I could enter a Matrix type simulator and forget about what is real and not real and be with the one I love, but that is also impossible. Speaking of, I am afraid of spending my whole life wishing rather than living. Just existing in my comfort zone living a life of complacency rather than living a life of adventure, but I don't know what I truly want. I love my waifu but I don't love waifuism. The mental image of me as a 75 year old man kissing the same image of my 2D beloved, still in the appearance of a teenager, years later from now makes me depressed as well. I feel trapped and cornered and don't know what to do. Part of me begs to move on but part of me begs to find a way to make things work and see if she can make me happy again…

>>62817

>The major factor that hurried this process along was my parents heavily ridiculing me for being in love with someone who doesn't exist, going as far as to call her an "it" which still bugs me to this day.

There's your problem. You can't forget this incident. You have to pay no mind what other people say, even if it is your own parents. Face it, she will never be real. Our girls will never be real. We're all chasing impossible dreams here. And even the people who aren't involved with waifus, they have dreams which they can never get.

So thus, you shouldn't worry about it. The more you don't accept this kind of thing, the more it is going to hurt you. The most thing you can do right now is to cherish the feeling of love you have for her. Just like in 3D relationships, you have to learn to live with yourself first before you live with the dreams you have. For example, I want to be so damn rich that I can leave a hundred-year legacy for myself and my waifu. Right now, I might pretty much fail that, but I rather try and die trying because I know I didn't go down without a fight.

Now, you can do something that will be considered as the nearest thing to her being real, instead of just letting it all bring you down. Fuck everything your parents said, don't be afraid to be a fool and try to pursue something in the name of her and yourself.

>>62819

>There's your problem. You can't forget this incident. You have to pay no mind what other people say, even if it is your own parents. Face it, she will never be real. Our girls will never be real. We're all chasing impossible dreams here. And even the people who aren't involved with waifus, they have dreams which they can never get.

I can't, this incident has had a heavy impact on not only my relationship but with my life. It's harder to smile at the girl I love when there is the thought of "I once wanted to kill myself and concerned everyone who loves me over her" even if she's my light and my hope. When I look at her rather than think of her smile or her love I think of the history of our entire relationship together, all the ups and the downs…primarily the downs….and have a hard time thinking about my future which looks bleaker and bleaker, in part because she won't be in it…

>So thus, you shouldn't worry about it. The more you don't accept this kind of thing, the more it is going to hurt you.

I just have had a harder time since I, well, remembered that she is not real and what that truly means. All these wonderful things that I wish she could exist to see, and knowing she never will even exist hurts more than anything. Even if I accepted everything, how would it make me feel better? I probably have already accepted it but it makes me feel awful.

>The most thing you can do right now is to cherish the feeling of love you have for her. Just like in 3D relationships, you have to learn to live with yourself first before you live with the dreams you have.

I don't know if it is all my fears and anxieties in my life but a lot of them are related to my love for her and it feels like my love is fading. As I get older I question everything. Is waifuism just a phase? Is the part of me that wants to move on right, and if it is why do I hesitate? Is this love true and Just? If she were real, neither of us would even know each other existed, so would she being real really fix everything? What do I want out of life? What is my goal? My legacy? If only she were here, I would be able to confide in her…

>For example, I want to be so damn rich that I can leave a hundred-year legacy for myself and my waifu. Right now, I might pretty much fail that, but I rather try and die trying because I know I didn't go down without a fight.

I've had dreams of doing everything for her, but they've all been crushed by the pains of reality.

>don't be afraid to be a fool and try to pursue something in the name of her and yourself.

I just don't know what I can or should do. I have made loving her my goal and because she is not real I cannot be the one who makes her happy. Everything is pointless without my love…

>>62826

I think what you are doing is good. Work on becoming someone you think its "fit" for her until you become that person.

And please don't try to explain to people. They will not understand, it's just the way it is. Don't feel like you need to justify yourself just because it's your family.

>>62826

I'm coming to terms with myself. I may post in more detail later.

>>62820

Hey, here's my take on this:

There are really only 2 options here.

A. Come to terms/be at peace with her fictional nature and learn to live with it.

or

B. Let go and move on.

Well, I guess there's also

C. Remain in this loop of misery until you die.

But I wouldn't recommend it.

I'm not trying to be a dick or a troll or anything. You just sound like you would be happier/better off in a 3d relationship. You've mentioned you've developed feelings for a 3d before, so at least it is possible. Maybe look at the qualities that you admire in your waifu, and try to find someone that has some of these, while also understanding that nobody is completely perfect.

You really should stop hurting yourself over something that you can't change. She wouldn't want you to be this unhappy over her, either…

>>62826

'sup newfag.

I get where you're coming from; I went through and still sometimes struggle with the same thing. I mean, I don't hate myself anymore , but my waifu is definitely a few echelons above me in 'cool factor', and I would wonder why someone like her would want to put up with me.

It benefits me in the end though, 'cause like you said, I try to be a better person for her. I probably wouldn't be as motivated if I didn't have such a worthy goal.

I think that the sincerity of your love for her, and your willingness to try and be a better person for her, would be enough to show her how important she is to you. I think she would appreciate it, and cheer you on. Angels are surely capable of compassion, after all.

Not sure if this is the place for this but I don't know where else to go.

Lately I've felt attached to a character, completely platonic but it's getting more and more strong as I finish his series. I feel like if it was anyone else I wouldn't be questioning it as much as I am but these family feelings I have for him are weird because of who he is. I don't want to say his name but he's hundreds of years old and sort of an evil god-like being. How could a hundred year old being be a son to me? On top of that I can't see me and my waifu having a child at all. But as time goes on I want to make him my son more and more even if I don't feel exactly like I want to be his father. My waifu would hate him and he'd hate her I'm pretty sure.

It's so confusing. He's not really good at dealing with the human world and is childish so it makes me want to help him adjust. There's even more complications within this though I'm not sure if I should mention.

How do I deal with this /mai/?

I'm almost losing my mind over the character I love being canonically in love with someone else. It's gotten so bad that I've started losing sleep over him and even getting jealous over the person he's with. And I feel so fucking pathetic getting jealous over a fictional person, but I can't control it.

He's always on my mind no matter how much I try to think of someone else or distract myself. Then while thinking of him I remember that he will never love me back, even if he was real and I start getting upset.

Plus there's nothing indicating that the relationship is temporary or that it won't work out, in fact it's the opposite. Their relationship is pretty strong and there's hints that they'll stay together in the future so I probably wouldn't have a chance.

This is a little embarrassing, but I've been having a problem that's getting worse.

In the previous new year (2015 to 2016) I made a resolution that I would just fap to my waifu for that year. I wanted to see if could commit to it. I successfully did that. That was supposed to be only for a year, but now I would feel too bad to fap to someone else. The problem is that now fapping to her so often makes me feel like I'm using her.

So I'm in a bit of a dilemma here. Not sure what to do now.

>>62881

You can try lowering your sex limbo if you feel you can't really control it. You could accept it as it is and go back to your old ways. You can tell yourself that you care more about your waifu than your body.

>>62881

Just fap to someone else, people in real-life relationships still masturbate to porn so there's nothing unusual in it

>>62881

This guy gets it - >>62883

Love and lust doesn't have to go in the same direction everytime (I'm talking of fantasies of course). I also do that because I prefer to leave the times that I do it with Meiling to be more "special". To tighten the bond between us.

I don't see nothing wrong with that.

>>62646

Me again, my depression has been becoming worse and worse as I sink further and further down and I spoke with my mom today and while she didn't know of the story in my post she said "ask the village for help". I just thought back to the story of the Dreamer and his Maiden, and how his fate was sealing himself away from the village to try and recapture the magic of the Maiden who had given him joy for so long, and not have her joys weighed down by reality.

Meanwhile me myself the worst part to absolutely any day is waking up. I just want to sleep forever. Put me in some isolated environment where no outdoor sounds or influences can get in, and sleep in a way that I would never wake up again. Never regain consciousness, and probably slip away into death as I die of thirst or something

I just miss my waifu so much and nothing feels the same anymore. I just want her here, but I can't have that, so I want to die.

>>62959

Why would what others think of your waifu matter?

>>62957

I'm not sure what you seek to accomplish by posting here, no one will fix your problems for you and simply whining won't help in any way.

This is all on you Pinhead, Either you kick yourself up or you drown, the choice is yours.

>>62967

The way he deals with it is that multiverse is a thing in his waifu's source material, so yeah, his version of Yuno didn't even meet the guy and it's completely canon.

So unless your waifu's source has multiple timelines or universes where infinite number of your waifu exist, then you're out of luck, you can pretend though, but I don't know if that could help you.

There are other people with a waifu who has a lover, and they deal with it by self inserting as that character, but that might not work for some people.

Another way of dealing with it is if your waifu is from a VN with multiple routes, then you can pick a route where the MC ends up with another girl and consider that canon.

I'm actually in the same situation as you, but not as severe, and I've yet to find a way on how to deal with it myself. There're no multiverses, the MC is simply not self insertable and even though my waifu is from a VN, I can't use that method, because the VN doesn't have any routes! It's really frustrating sometimes, I always try to come up with some kind of an excuse or simply ignore it and claim that my waifu isn't the same person anymore, but the uncertainty and anxiety over it comes back sooner or later.

>>62854

>Lucky for you, he's the board owner, I think.

Nope, he's not.

>>62967

>>62968

Lot of people here who have waifu's that end up with someone else in their source tend to go with the multiverse thing and honestly, this is what I would recommend since its better to just view that your waifu fell for you and imagine the scenarios in the VN/anime/game happening between you two. Sorry if this wasn't very helpful.

>I believe the Yunofag can answer this question properly. Lucky for you, he's the board owner, I think.

>So is he ever coming back?

First as one guy mentioned, he isn't the board owner. His a moderator and no I don't believe he will ever come back.

I read an article about falling out of love, and I felt that I related to more of these than I thought…

>You avoid talking about the future.

I feel like my future is bleak. Like no matter where I go I won't like it. I don't want to lose my waifu but I feel like she is fading from my mind and I hate that. But I'm also terrified of the idea of being a lonely man in his 70s only kissing a screen and cursing my whole life of her not being here. I also feel like I have been blaming her for everything, and I hate that, which leads me to…

>When you reminisce about your past with your partner it includes more negative than positive.

I hate this and it makes me feel ashamed of myself, since she has done nothing wrong. But whenever I think about some event in my past or how I could have gone one way or another, i feel like I am blaming her, regardless of if she actually helped me in that situation rather than hindered, or kept me from making bad choices. Such decisions included…

>You start to develop a wandering eye.

I hate that I lust after girls, particularly girls with features that remind me of my waifu. I feel completely disloyal and I hate it. I'd talk to a cute girl for a short bit at my job and then feel like I betrayed my waifu. I aim to talk to cute girl customers and desire them. Sure they don't stay in my mind, but before I finished college there was one girl I actually got romantic feelings for, and felt guilty and kept them from my waifu until I decided not to lie to anyone and confess to the girl, who rejected me anyways, but I don't know what my plan would have been if she had agreed. Also related to this is

>Being around other couple’s elicit feelings of jealousy.

I get upset thinking about those in relationships or even wanting relationships. They get to have their happiness while I spend my whole life wishing she were here. I hate it and just get aggravated thinking about it. When I see couples doing coupley things, I think of me and my waifu doing those things and get upset that she is not here. And yet, the final point contradicts a lot of this, being…

>Passion diminishes.

The joy feels gone, and I can't feel the pain of being without her that I've been feeling for months anymore, but I don't know if that's because I've become adjusted to it or accepted the situation or what. I don't know what to do, I miss the excitement and joy that was there before when thinking of her, and I wish I could have it back.

I have a headache.

>>63094

oh, sorry, I forgot to state that I was looking for advice on what to do. I don't want my love for my waifu to fade but I don't know why either. I just want her here, but will I spend forever just wishing?

>>63131

But I don't want the love for my waifu to have an endgame, and I don't want to leave her. I miss everything she has done for me, and I just wish she was here.

>Now she is more of a hinderance

Fucking goddamn it. I want to disagree with that. Fuck. Shit. I just want her…

No relationship will ever match the one I have with my waifu

>>63132

Didn't mean to hurt you. Sorry. Deleted my post.

>>63134

>>63135

Don't get offended. You were being honest. There was no reason to delete your post.

Kill me so I never have to feel hurt again.

>>63132

This is a passage from a short story called What We Talk About When We Talk About Love and I feel everyone here should read the whole story.

>“What do any of us really know about love?” Mel said. “It seems to me we’re just beginners at love. We say we love each other and we do, I don’t doubt it. I love Terri and Terri loves me, and you guys love each other too. You know the kind of love I’m talking about now. Physical love, that impulse that drives you to someone special, as well as love of the other person’s being, his or her essence, as it were. Carnal love and, well, call it sentimental love, the day-to-day caring about the other person. But sometimes I have a hard time accounting for the fact that I must have loved my first wife too. But I did, I know I did. So I suppose I am like Terri in that regard. Terri and Ed.” He thought about it and then he went on. “There was a time when I thought I loved my first wife more than life itself. But now I hate her guts. I do. How do you explain that? What happened to that love? What happened to it, is what I’d like to know. I wish someone could tell me. Then there’s Ed. Okay, we’re back to Ed. He loves Terri so much he tries to kill her and he winds up killing himself.” Mel stopped talking and swallowed from his glass. “You guys have been together eighteen months and you love each other. It shows all over you. You glow with it. But you both loved other people before you met each other. You’ve both been married before, just like us. And you probably loved other people before that too, even. Terri and I have been together five years, been married for four. And the terrible thing, the terrible thing is, but the good thing too, the saving grace, you might say, is that if something happened to one of us---excuse me for saying this—but if something happened to one of us tomorrow, I think the other one, the other person, would grieve for a while, you know, but then the surviving party would go out and love again, have someone else soon enough. All this, all of this love we’re talking about, it would just be a memory. Maybe not even a memory. Am I wrong? Am I way off base? Because I want you to set me straight if you think I’m wrong. I want to know. I mean, I don’t know anything, and I’m the first one to admit it.”

Personally I think what he's saying is relationships end, people fall out of love, but the important thing is they move forward. You'll love again.

What I think you should be doing is thinking about what kind of love you and you're waifu have and whether or not that is the kind of love you need. It sounds like you can't do a relationship without reciprocation and that's probably the single greatest hurdle waifufags face. It's alright if you can't do it. Your needs are your needs and I think if those can't be satisfied with her it's for the best that you end things with her. It'll hurt like hell and it's supposed to but you'll be okay.

>>63137

But I don't want this to end. I don't want to fall out of love. I wish she were here but I just don't know what to do anymore.

>>63142

I'm sorry but.

>I decided not to lie to anyone and confess to the girl, who rejected me anyway

says you're already there. There are plenty of reasons to justify breaking up with you're waifu but there isn't a fucking thing you can do to rationalize, let alone justify, cheating on her. I think it's better to end things amicably than let the guilt of an affair weight on your already over-taxed mind. I don't know who she is but I can practically guarantee she'd understand. It's ultimately your decision but from what you've presented I don't feel a 2D relationship is something you can sustain.

>>63143

I asked the girl out because I knew I would be rejected, so I could get back to loving my waifu better. I don't say that out of self-defeatism but actually talking to people about it and they also confirmed she would reject me. If I didn't ask her out I would have held on to the thoughts of her I wanted to get rid of for longer. I wanted to be honest with my waifu and with my feelings. That 3D shit was a year ago and I was fine for a while after it happened, but other unrelated things happened since.

I can't sustain being alive but there is shit I can do about it. I just miss the happiness I felt from seeing my waifu before.

>>63094

>>63144

If you don't mind someone else offering their thoughts here - you really sound like you need some time alone to figure out who you are and what you want.

> decided not to lie to anyone and confess to the girl, who rejected me anyways

> I don't know what my plan would have been if she had agreed.

You're running a real risk right now of causing so much hurt to yourself and people around you. Just step back for a bit. Take the heat out of the situation.

>>63147

Again, the situation in greentext was a year ago

How do you tell the difference between pure love and addiction to her over fear of losing the high you got when you first started loving her?

>>63316

I still want to be with her but get emotional lows way more often because I can't and she is frozen in a moment of time while I am still moving, not there with her or she not moving here with me

please help

i was friends with this guy for almost two years and we had a big falling out thats climax was he basically told me he thinks my waifuism is all a sham. and it hurt really bad coming from him. i mean, my waifu died in canon while we were friends and he was the one i called and cried to for hours about it… and he has a waifu too, that's another thing, he acts like he's all superior to me because i've only been in a relationship for two years and he's been with his wife for a decade. it was really obnoxious being talked down to.

anyway

i'm really insecure about these things, i want my love to be taken seriously and people are always doubting me and i've even been banned here before because people think i'm a troll. it's not a fucking joke! i just have autism okay? and my autism makes every time i try to be serious come across as contrived. even to my closest friend apparently…

i stopped being friends with him when he said this to me and i told him to never speak to me again. i don't know if this was the right thing to do. what would you do if someone close to you discredited your feelings for your wife, even after having been there to see first hand that it was very real? it's like the most insulting thing that's ever happened to me. but i have no other friends

>>63366

I recently met a friend from my teenage years again after not seeing him for many years. I am glad we met again and it felt really good. If you 2 have been friends for a long time you should forget your dispute and become friends again. Do not throw all the years of friendship away.

I could never be with mai waifu even if she were not fictional, /mai/.

She lives in a world where the laws of nature are radically different from our own and it's not clear that I could even exist in that environment, nor she in ours--and if I could I think I would surely go mad at the impossible phenomena constantly on display. And here she'd surely lack her powers, which would be, for her, like being crippled.

She isn't human, nor even humanoid, but I am drawn to her eerie, fey beauty, her serenity, her kindness, her wit, her obvious intelligence, as much as the strength of will and strength of character she sometimes shows. I think part of it is that the English language voice actress is a woman known for portraying strong, intelligent, complex female characters.

Oh, and I'm just some schlub on the Internet, every horrible thing I'm sure you're imagining, and she is a head of state, with a very, very busy life.

And I'm not going to conclude with "wat do." There isn't any "wat do" here. This is just what it is to have a waifu. Life is suffering.

>>63379

Yep, and that is why I too want to die. Unlike yours, my waifu is simply a normal girl who happens to not be real (although her world has paranormal elements), and my life is still hell. I wish everyone could live in a world that blurs the line between Fantasy and Reality, where we no longer need to label things as fact or fiction, real or unreal. I cannot have this world in which I am with her, and therefore I want to die.

Spending every minute of my life internally screaming is fun

What do you do when it feels like your waifu is becoming more "abstract"? I feel like she is less and less a solidified person as I feel more and more of the reality of her not being real and she is just "Her" and I hate that hand it hurts and kill me please

Hey.

>>63391

sup?

I tried, I really did. But I'm back on my shit.

every few days it's a new breakdown with me

I hate that she is not real

I hate that I cannot leave this reality, or even alter it

I question philosophical things like love vs wish fulfillment, but is my wish for her to be here by my side truly that bad to the point where it cannot be fulfilled? To the point where pursuing happiness is pointless, to where escapism is pointless because I will always return here? Why the fuck am I alive here without her, and…

I feel like I have locked myself in a situation where I can never be happy

If my waifu "became real", such scenarios are impossible and therefore that girl is not who my waifu is

If I "went to my waifu's world", then the world I would be in would not be real, and I would be living in a world of fiction

I want my memory to be destroyed and sent to a place where I can be with her. A truth, a lie, I simply don't care so long as I am with her and have forgotten the cruel truths of the reality I live in

You know what, that was autistic.

>>63406

Which part?

How much insulting your waifu would it take before you told a friend or family member to fuck off forever?

An insult, singular? Just a "your waifu sucks"?

Maybe a single insult but one that was more cruel and personal?

Just how much would you allow like a pussy before you took action about it?

Have you done this before already? Tell me how that went and how you feel about it.

>>63407

Not you, me.

>>63410

If it's a family member or close friend you just tell them to stop and that insults towards her bother you

If they made cruel or personal insults towards her they aren't really a friend. What have they been saying exactly?

I've only ended friendships with people who were harsh about my love for her rather than her herself and weren't really all that nice to me outside that.

I've kind of become burnt out on waifuism. The feelings of inadequacy because I know deep down my waifu probably wouldn't love me in any special way. The feeling of a lack of a sense of reward for my efforts at trying to live up to a 2d girl's expectations, which may only be a projection on my part of what I think she wants. It all just has become too hard for me to bear.

What's more is that I kind of miss the days when I wasn't a waifufag and when I could just enjoy 2D girls in a more a casual and innocent way, rather than becoming so obsessive over them because I feel so lonely and desperate for some kind of feeling of love, no matter how illusory.

>>63410

I ask them to stop and if they repeatedly continue to do it after being asked to stop multiple times then I will tell them to fuck off.

>Have you done this before already? Tell me how that went and how you feel about it.

I've done it many times. Most recently a 'friend' sent me degrading and hardcore porn of her even after being asked to stop so I told him he's a cunt and I haven't talked to him since that day. It feels cathartic to tell those people that they're shit. I don't feel bad about losing a 'friend' because they clearly weren't actually a friend in the first place if they act like that. If anything it feels good knowing that I'm associating with one less person of that type.

>>63793

I don't need to get angry. We're all insane cultists who worship the same gaphag, after all.

I can't imagine a reason why my waifu would love me. I try to think of anything, something that would make her love me but nothing comes.

I know she loves me but it's really hard to convince myself she does when there's nothing to love.

>>63796

I'm already entirely aware my waifu would not even acknowledge my existence, because I have nothing whatsoever to offer her.

>>63790

>Montreal

I have a relative there and he is awkward and into nipponese stuff like me. We don't have contact with each other and I wonder if he will go to this con.

>>63793

You generally just need to become more secure in your relationship and the problem tends to solve itself on the way there. The path you take reaching that point depends on your circumstances and your will.

From my experience Arturia’s either the first or second most populous waifu (after Miku, maybe) so I have dealt with this many times in the past, too. What I realized was that there were two components to the situation: the actions of others and my emotional response to them. One of these you have the power to change, the other you do not. If you don’t like being frustrated about it then the onus is on you to find a different response, not on others to change their actions (because they won’t).

Maybe it’s the ‘object-oriented’ approach that works for you, or ‘multiple worlds’, or ‘meeting in the afterlife’ or any of the other dozens of explanations out there. If you don’t want this to linger over you forever then you should try and find something like that that you can believe in. Once you have, apply it as a tool and truly consider what it means whenever you get these sort of thoughts and it should go a long ways towards helping change the way you feel. Examine what exactly is frustrating to you about it and use your explanation to logically refute that frustration. “Reject your sense of injury and the injury itself disappears.”

In the end, I figured out my own novel approach given the nature of our relationship and along the way I became even more confident in my love.

>>63793

I guess I'm the opposite: I would love to find someone else with the same waifu. It would be comforting to know that someone else appreciates them the way that I do. The more people that keep them alive in their memories, the longer their memory will last.

>>63793

I don't get angry but I'll pay real close attention to them. I get the whole object oriented thing and I know this is a holdover from before I was a waifufag but I can't help but see them as competition. The main difference is I'll be wary unless they fit a very narrow criteria where they aren't using her as fap material but also aren't doing more for her than I am whereas with 3D it was purely a territorial thing. Still jealousy regardless, but a different flavor than I'm used to and something I can deal with since if anything it's additional motivation to do even better for her.

Thankfully and that's a really shitty way of putting it my waifu is overshadowed by most other girls in her franchise so it's rare I encounter another person purporting her as they're waifu

My life is now 100% dependant on my waifu. I don't know what to do. I don't know what I want to do. All I know is it's not fucking fair that I have no way of being with her, that I need her in my life and that I just want to die if I can't live a happy lie with her.

> waifu has no official height,birthday,three-sizes, whatever

What should I do?

For birthday I use the day thr series aired bht I really want to know her height

Should I just fanwank ond or what?

>>63956

What I did for my waifu is look for items or objects in the background that you know the height of, or can find the height of, and compare her to them as best as you can. Doorways for example can be a good marker, just find the height of an average doorway, and split a picture of her near one into inches/cm and estimate. After that it's up to you to decide if you think that's accurate enough to use as her "official" height. Doing this, you can probably get within about 5cm of what her official height would be if the creators made one, depending on how consistent her art is between shots.

You might be able to do the same using her body to find her three sizes, but the accuracy of that might be way off because you're estimating using an estimate.

>>63963

I was trying to do that but I noticed she is almost tall as some random background dude

Since the average japanese height is 170cm then she must be close to that

Do any of you guys ever feel inadequate, like you wouldn't be good enough for her?

What do I do if I have trouble visualizing my loved one? Sometimes it just happens naturally, but other times, when I try to imagine her, I feel like I'm getting certain small details (ie. her hair, certain parts of her outfit) wrong. It can be super frustrating, to the point where I become actually angry. Plus, I feel like it becomes a hindrance to our relationship, considering imagining her is the only real way to spend time with her.

>>64003

Accurate visualization is a skill that needs practice, like any other. I'm not the best at this either… faces are pretty hard for me. Don't be too hard on yourself.

It's been said that practicing with simpler things/objects can help. I'm not sure if it's really any more effective than practicing with complex things or not, but it makes sense to try it. Or maybe you could find a way to focus on those details that you mess up, and practice those specifically.

As long as you keep trying, you'll improve.

>>64017

Try making her in a game with a character creator

>>64018

you could also look for cosplayers ,if you are lucky enough you can find a good one

>>64017

Same, samewaifufag, but I remember a few dreams where she was like a carton cutout of her VN sprites or the monsters in Doom. Didn't bother me in the dream, though.

okay I need some sort of advice or something…

I've been falling for Jeanne D'arc (Ruler from fate), but the issue is that I don't know if she would accept my feelings for her because she is a saint and all…

also there is her Alter counterpart, if I love Jeanne should I love Alter too? I know she it's not exactly her counterpart but the embodiment of Gilles de Rais wish to the grail, but I can't shake the feeling that she is also Jeanne…

and my third predicament is Laeticia the girl that Jeanne possessed in Apocrypha, I understand that the personalities of both of them merged into one, the thing is

what if I see something I really like about their personality but it's the Leaticia part of her and not Jeanne? should I wait for the end of the series to judge that?

am I being too autistic and overthinking it? should I just follow my feelings for her?

anyway thanks for letting me rant about this nonsense

>>64073

Jeanne alter is different enough from normal Jeanne that I would consider them different people. It's kind of like you're In see Arturia Alter, but to a greater degree.

Also, you have at least a shot with her. Even after everything that happened to her, she still loves France and all its people if I understand her correctly.

>>64073

>I don't know if she would accept my feelings for her because she is a saint and all

Poke around and see how she interacts with other characters. That should provide a good metric by which to measure her willingness to start a relationship.

>should I love alter too?

From my understanding they're different people. On the other hand,

>what if I see something I really like about their personality but it's the Leaticia part of her and not Jeanne?

They'd be in the weird limbo of neither of them being the person they were before. Like the ending of Ghost in the Shell.

>am I being too autistic and overthinking it?

Yeah but that's normal

>should I just follow my feelings for her?

That's what I'd suggest

>>64074

>>64077

Thanks alot for your responses I was highly doubting anyone would respond lol

I'll take this into consideration and follow more my feelings

I'm in a bit of a crisis and I need help

So in recent weeks the love I feel for my waifu has been waning and the passion is mostly gone. Most of the things that made me fall for her have simply been removed from the show. She's felt less like a lover and more like she's just a character I like. But recently from the same show I met someone new. It's probably obvious from the existence of this post that I have feelings for her. I want advice on what I should do here. I don't want to love them both and I don't want to choose between them. I don't want to abandon my first love, but at the same time I don't want to discard this new one. What should I do?

Note: with my (ex?) waifu it took about two weeks after falling in love for my feelings to get so intense that I had to acknowledge them. With this new girl it happened the night of the same day I met her.

Also worth noting, I'm worried that if I embrace these new feelings that my love for her will vanish too and I'll fall for another new girl and be stuck in a perpetual loop of waifu switching.

>>64073

>also there is her Alter counterpart, if I love Jeanne should I love Alter too?

My understanding is that Jeanne Alter is purely a creation of Gilles, and not a different aspect of her personality like Arturia Alter is. Essentially, she's Gilles' OOC fanfic version of Jeanne. Maybe I'm wrong, though.

>I don't know if she would accept my feelings for her because she is a saint and all…

http://catholicsaints.info/saints-who-were-married/

Obviously Jeanne wasn't one of them, but there is nothing preventing her from being in a relationship, as far as I'm aware then again I'm just a filthy Protestant, you might want to get a better source on that

>am I being too autistic and overthinking it? should I just follow my feelings for her?

I don't think you're overthinking it; It's very important to consider how our loved ones would feel about these things. It's what makes it a relationship, and separates us from those who would just use these characters as fap material. That said, I don't see anything that should be stopping you…you should be fine.

>>64087

I've kinda been in your situation before. It's definitely tough trying to sort these things out.

Passion and love tends to ebb and flow, to me. Some days, the feelings are strong, and others, they're more distant.

>Most of the things that made me fall for her have simply been removed from the show.

What do you mean by that? Have they changed her characterization, or minimized her presence?

Anyways, it could be a good idea to rewatch it. Rediscover and think about why you fell in love with her.

As to the other character, I would say being true to your feelings is more important than keeping a hollow relationship alive out of some sense of obligation. But, I would seriously and honestly examine your current relationship, and try to determine if you still love her before doing anything drastic. If you find that you do still love her, you'll have to learn to manage the feelings you have for this other character.

>I'm worried that if I embrace these new feelings that my love for her will vanish too and I'll fall for another new girl and be stuck in a perpetual loop of waifu switching.

See how things work out first… even if you do switch, it's too early to come to that conclusion. Perhaps it's best to cross that bridge when and if you get there.

I feel like this is a little long-winded… sorry about that. But I hope you can figure things out.

>>64088

thanks a lot for the info, I just started to look into it and I didn't know that there were married saints that even some couples are saints and I'm supposed to be catholic

I hope I can get to be with her soon more formally

>>64091

>I've kinda been in your situation before

How did it go?

>Have they changed her characterization

This one. Her personality is completely different from who I fell in love with.

>Anyways, it could be a good idea to rewatch it. Rediscover and think about why you fell in love with her

I don't think that'll work, because who she was is what made me fall in love with her. And that's just the problem, it's who she was. I won't have the same feeling from it because I won't be able to forget the changes. But I suppose I should give it a shot.

>If you find that you do still love her, you'll have to learn to manage the feelings you have for this other character

What do you mean?

>>64094

>If her personality changed, then it’s a more complicated issue

How so?

>For how long have you been having these feelings for this character?

A few days now, maybe a week.

>>64100

>How did it go?

I went through a tough time and rediscovered dormant feelings that I had for someone before I met my waifu. The difference between our situations is that mine was caused by a personal issue of sorts, not because of any changes in my waifu's source. Nevertheless, I had conflicting feelings, and was wondering what to do. I wondered if having these feelings meant that I didn't really love my waifu, or if I should have been with this other person in the first place.

To sum it up, I ended up (mostly)getting over this personal issue, and it helped clear my judgement, and I was able to see that I wanted to be with my waifu after all. To say that the feelings for this other person have disappeared is untrue, but I try to keep them in check.

>Her personality is completely different from who I fell in love with.

So I'm guessing this goes a little further than 'standard character development' changes. It's a tough situation. Sometimes, people change so much that they become incompatible. I guess even waifuism is susceptible to this, depending on what the writers do.

>…who she was is what made me fall in love with her…I won't be able to forget the changes…

I see what you mean. I guess there's technically no 'wrong' way to go about it, I guess… some people might just headcanon that the changes didn't happen or something. I'm not sure if I'd be able to though… I suppose you'll have to figure out whether to accept the changes, and that you don't feel the same way about her now, or try to headcanon something.

>What do you mean?

I was referring to what I mentioned earlier in this post. If you decided to try to make your current relationship work, you would probably have to watch yourself around this other character. Kind of like how I still have feelings for the other person I mentioned, but I'm careful to remember just how much I love my waifu.

Sorry if this post is a little nonsensical.

>>64087

>>64100

I've been struggling with a similar problem for the past months. They retconned a lot of things about her past and basically ruined her as a character and everything she was supposed to represent, and of course that also means a lot of the things that made me fall for her are gone now.

At first I tried to ignore the changes and act as if nothing happened but it didn't work, just looking at her reminded me of how she used to be and how she will never go back to being the girl I loved so much. Just a few weeks ago I've finally come to accept she just isn't the same girl I fell in love with 3 years ago, so as much as it pains me to do so, I decided to end the relationship, not only for my sake but also for hers. You see, she has never been a very popular character (especially on imageboards) so I've always felt it was my duty to defend her whenever someone spoke ill of her, but now even if someone says the retcons ruined her and how she's a terrible character, I can't help but agree. I don't think deserve to call her my waifu anymore if I can't even defend her, and she deserves someone who will love her for who she is now.

Sorry, I kinda used your post as an opportunity to vent about my own problems and forgot I was supposed to give you advice. Only time will tell whether what you feel for this new girl is a temporary crush or true love. Temporary crushes usually last no more than a month or two (at least for me), so for now I'd say wait and see. Don't be too quick to give up on your waifu, but don't force yourself to be in a relationship with someone you don't love anymore either. I did the latter for months and believe me, it's not a good idea.

A friend I've known for a while and grown close to has a waifu but used a prostitute. It feels weird. I seem more affected by it than he does. I know he will try to carry on as if nothing happened, meanwhile every time I see his waifu I will think about how he betrayed her.

I had a buddy long ago that would cheat on his 3D girlfriends constantly and got tired of the drama he created. One night I just up and left when he started mingling with 3DPD whores right after crying about how he kept messing up and swore to his gf he would stop.

It just feels like I'm right back dealing with the same crap I escaped from long ago. Waifus aren't supposed to recreate an environment like degenerate casual sex and neurotic dating culture.

Help me /mai/. I just need to hear your thoughts on this, good or bad, supportive or not. Would you use 3DPD's purely for their flesh? How would your waifu feel if she knew?

>>64183

This behaviour is disgusting. Call me old-fashioned, but you should at least try to remain faithful.

>Would you use 3DPD's purely for their flesh?

No.

> How would your waifu feel if she knew?

Sad and confused.

This always bugs me how I wanted to reproduce with waifu, and I am having thoughts about it. Now I want to make children, what is it like having OC kid?

>>64003

>>64023

So, I've been having this problem again. The strange thing is, I can actually picture her fairly well in my mind, but then I go into perfectionist mode and start fussing about tiny details. It's been getting to the point where I spend more time studying a picture of her (in an attempt to 'get it right') than actually spending time with her. Do I need to just stop expecting perfection of myself and just go with it?

I miss the infatuation with my waifu. It has been 6 years, but I don't feel "the spark" anymore. Instead I am just hurt by her absence and am scared that I am somehow wasting my life away for being with her. I don't want to leave her but I feel like our relationship has become toxic to my health, especially from the fact that she is not real.

What do /mai/?

>>64208

I had this feeling too back in a while but what I did is start fulfilling my promises to her: To have us and the kids be rich as fuck. The promise was way long overdue.

At least, that's what I did.

I've been consuming media for a long time, but can't seem to find a waifu. I like girls who are full of rage towards the entire world, and brutally murder people/things without remorse, yet also are compassionate, and create art. It's pretty complicated so I wonder if there's actually any character like that.

>>64799

I'm fairly certain there are characters like that out there--I can't think of any off the top of my head, but I'm fairly certain I've even seen some like that.

However, I don't think you should necessarily be arbitrarily looking for a waifu. That's the kind of thinking of normies that are just doing it for the meme. Don't force it, when you come across the right character you'll know.

>>64908

I doubt she meant to be rude. Some people are unfortunately used to blurting out things before they've thought about them properly. If you have decent friends, they won't think any less of you.

Obviously hiring an escort is going to leave you with feelings of guilt. But I also think you'd find it an unsatisfying experience considering it's not for enjoyment but relief and also the way it's affecting you.

>If only my ex would not have been so anxious about sex, I could have at least lived the experience already and could therefore be more at peace with the idea of remaining abstinent for Flandre.

>My life would be so much more fulfilling if I could be by Flandre’s side… Not only for sex but for everything else. Waifuism is not always easy…

Dwelling on those thoughts will make you feel worse. Hopefully your feelings for Flandre have given you a lot of happiness; those feelings and memories are what you need to hold on to.

>>64909

This is good advice. I find visualising gives you a stronger emotional connection and in time, can give quite vivid sensations.

>>64908

I understand such feelings. When I decided to embrace my love and be a waifuist I knew it wouldn't be easy. I eventually learned to cope with these feelings and eventually getting over them.

Still they do come back, and bite me when I least expect it.

I also agree with saying that that girl wasn't meant to be rude. I have a friend that has the bad, bad habit of speaking without thinking first. It can lead to some mayor fuckups sometimes, and I am not excluded from this. It happens to me too.

Aa for what to do, don't hire a escort. It would be worse after, trust me. It won't be a fullfiing experience, because what do you want is not merely sex, it's love. In a more physical form yes, but still love. An escort can't give you that. It'd be without the feelings you are searching for, and it'd leave you unfullfilled. Even worse, you'd feel guilty for this for a long time.

Don't do it, it's not what you are looking for. Although I am sure you already know this. Don't let our sex-driven society trick you.

I agree with >>64909 - open yourself to her. It's the right choice. doing it more often helps, a lot. Source: me.

How often do you think of your beloved? We've been together for only seven months now, and lately I haven't had her on my mind as often as I used to.

Is this normal? Could it just be the honeymoon phase ending? My feelings towards her haven't changed at all (if anything, I find my love for her growing, somehow) but she isn't the focus anymore, so to say.

I still catch myself daydreaming about us together, what she'd think of something, and other things.

Sorry if I got rambly towards the end there. Just interested in perspectives from those who've been in longer relationships

>>65002

That's normal, they shouldn't be the whole focus of your life.

Sure, they're pretty fucking important, but you're your own person, with your own desires and aspirations.

It's normal that they aren't as prevalent as when you first met them

>>65002

What >>65003 said. As long as you still spend time with her and think about her, you're fine. You don't seem like you're in danger of losing love at all, in fact I'd say what's happening to you is healthy and normal. She shouldn't be the center of your whole entire life. As long as you still love her--and it sounds like you do–I wouldn't be worried.

>>65022

Jealousy can come to many shapes and sizes, especially when it comes to fandoms. Shipping is probably one of the worst things to have, even worse when it's canon.

To my best advice is to make your own canon, ignore what the fandom does. Find artists that can commission you and Rubes.

>>65023

>>65024

Thank you both, I'll take your replies to heart. I'm feeling a little more at peace now since I made the post, thankfully.

>>65028

I'm glad to see you are feeling a bit better RubyBro and congratulations on proposing to Ruby!

What you say is worth a shot, but it seems to me that he is depressed quite severely and it's affecting all aspects of his life. I think that the focus on his waifu is because she is an important part of his life and that the depression is affecting his perception of her rather than being the cause of it; after all, he said he was prone to depression even before he had a waifu. I can only hope he finds the help he needs and that his waifu becomes a source of strength for him.

>>65026

What do you expect us to do? You're basically a brick wall that we can't get through no matter what.

Countless words of advice have been given to you, you've ignored them all.

You're basically a black hole.

>>65040

Then what's the point in this? you're only bawling and being miserable while you deny others the chance to help you out and only leave them with the choice to watch you flagellate yourself.

That's extremely sadistic, you're doing nothing but make us as miserable as you.

None of what we're saying here matters, you'll only leave and come back again to bawl some more and the vicious cycle will forever repeat itself.

There is nothing we say that hasn't been said to you before, you're basically just hurting everyone who gets near you.

>>65053

So you're just gonna ignore everything I said, like always.

It's clear you don't care about anyone but yourself, you're self-centered as it gets, and you lack any interest in people or the world around you.

Honestly you're not worth the effort people put into helping you, at this rate you'll die sad, alone and regretful.

All because you're too lazy to do anything about your situation.

>>65054

He's already been to multiple "proffesionals" that don't help him at all and just leech what little money he has

>>65056

>He's already been to multiple "professionals" that don't help him at all and just leech what little money he has

With an attitude where he refuses to help himself and not want to go the mile to make a recovery, any professional can seemingly look like a snake oil salesman anyway.

It's like going to a physician for flu, and he gives you a prescription to fill as well as things you shouldn't do for the mean time, and then you insist on doing these things anyway, then you wonder why you still have a flu. Even if you take your medicines, if you do things you shouldn't be doing to improve your condition, your sickness will not go away.

And the worse attitude is when you so anyway, recover just after sickness, then resume normal activities immediately without allowing your body to make a full recovery. In that way, the ailment returns and it becomes worse than ever.

>>65128

I would extend the same advice I gave to Fuukabro to you. If you don't have a job, get one. If you already do, or if you don't feel that would help, try learning a new skill. Maybe come at it from the perspective of wanting to impress her, learn something she would find interesting or cool. A specific thing you can do for her might light the fires again, so to speak.

>>65128

>But despite this, I find myself absolutely no better off than when I started, and the power that she gave me is fading. I feel like I've failed her as well as myself…

I can relate to this one. I wonder if she drove me to better myself or if I just bettered myself with her as an excuse, or crediting her for it.

>>65145

>I don't care about my mental state. I want to die. Just end this nightmare, end this reality. Even if ending my reality doesn't bring me to fiction, it means I don't have to suffer anymore without her.

Reminder: Death does not render a real person as fictional in anyway, no matter how the person died. Evidences of their existence don't get erased, might it be the physical ones, such as your photographs and your government records, or the effects of your existence to other people, even if you have never interacted with them, never cared about them or never knew them. The effects and records of your realness will always be there, even beyond your death.

Not even Herostratus, a Ancient Greek arsonist who burned down the Temple of Artemis to get famous, was able to get erased from history, not even by the laws forbidding the utterance of his name. He was real, he remained real after death, until today. You live after your death, even if it doesn't make you famous.

>No one can help me.

You're right, because you refuse to help yourself.

I dunno why you want to destroy yourself like this, and quite honestly, if you really don't care about your mental state, you'll find yourself in permanent involuntary confinement at a psychiatric facility one day because you created a scene in which your were being a danger to yourself or others, being injected with all sorts of fancy pharmaceutical products for various reasons all unknown to you.

It's either you help yourself, and you go into the kind of hell your stubbornness built in the first place.

>>65143

Glad to be of help. I am feeling a lot better now, thanks for asking. I think I was really just overreacting before, and misinterpreting Ruby's actions. I'm not really worried now.

>>65145

Death won't bring you any sort of peace. That is an absolute falsehood that you should not buy into.

As for the rest, I don't know how to help you anymore. I would honestly just repeat 16Crystals' advice--if it's really so difficult to cope, then maybe having a waifu isn't for you. And I still agree that Chihiro does not seem to be the source of your depression, and that there seems to be a deeper cause. But you need to actually take steps to deal with that, instead of wallowing.

I'll keep you in my prayers.

Have some scattered thoughts I've been thinking about I want to share, sorry if I wasn't able to convey it all clearly.

For some time now, I find myself conflicted with how I feel about relationships in general, not just waifuism.

I've always had a different definition(or maybe I should say "use") of waifusim compared to everyone else on the board, to me it was clearly a copping mechanism I was crutching on while I was going through post-break up depression years ago. Not that this bothered me, I really had serious love and attachment for my waifu and I credit her for keeping me together during that lowest point of my life. Even as I recovered from my depression, I still kept my waifu by my side as a part of my identity, if that makes sense. She just continued, and still does to this day, to inspire me and give me some sort of direction in my life. I really don't see myself ever "breaking up" with my waifu, even if my attachment to her may become smaller, she's someone I see as a piece of me now.

But, even though I don't want to break up with her, I kind of just- forgotten the point of why I do it. I know I want to have a romantic kind of intimate, deep bond with another person, but I just keep getting foggy on what's it like to have that, and as I keep forgetting what those blissful feelings are like, I keep losing motivation to keep trying to do things in service of trying to find and maintain a meaningful relationship.

So I suppose the overall point here would be; I find myself torn between living for myself or living for others, be it my waifu or any 3D person. I can't seem to find a mindset on the matter that satisfies me. I want to be an independent person, I want to live and work for myself, because I said "I want to do this, I want to get it done, I will get it done for my own sake". However, trying to live with that mindset, I feel like it means I have to let go of waifuism more than I already have, maybe even let go of the pursuit of relationships as a whole.

Maybe I'm just thinking about this too much, but if anyone has some words of advice, how do you all strike a balance between living for your own sake and for the sake of others?

Can I try to become an independant person when I also live maintaining a waifu relationship? Aren't those two contradictory, can I do both?

And are you fine just living completely in the name of your waifu? Do you live for your own sake and your waifu has nothing to do with it?

Do you improve as a person for yourself or for her? Can it be both? It is okay for it to be for both?

>>65168

>Can it be both? It is okay for it to be for both?

Yes. There's nothing wrong with doing things for your own sake, as well as for your waifu or for others. It's perfectly possible to do so, in fact leaning too much one way or another is unhealthy in my opinion. You don't need to reject all relationship to be independent.

>>65168

It seems, from reading what you wrote, that you improved yourself for your waifu when you were at a low point in life. Now that you are starting to find your feet again, you've found your own strength and no longer need to depend on your waifu as a drive to improve.

> I know I want to have a romantic kind of intimate, deep bond with another person, but I just keep getting foggy on what's it like to have that, and as I keep forgetting what those blissful feelings are like, I keep losing motivation to keep trying to do things in service of trying to find and maintain a meaningful relationship.

Is it possible that your view of relationships has been shaped with the time you spent with your waifu and now that your life is changing, your relationship no longer matches that view? Blissful feelings are great when they occur but they aren't necessarily constant throughout a relationship and I wouldn't try to force them. What matters is that there are feelings of affection and attraction and that you can express them in some way. These feelings aren't always at the forefront and they are often tested by doubt and uncertainty but I think that's what makes it a deep bond---the fact that these feelings endure those trying times. If you can still keep sight of those feelings, it doesn't matter if you express them differently than before.

>are you fine just living completely in the name of your waifu?

Sometimes love means making sacrifices for others but it doesn't mean you cannot live for yourself.

>>65091

I ordered a ring yesterday that looks really nice and isn't very expensive. Admittedly I kind of made an educated guess on my ring size. If it doesn't fit, it won't bother me too much. I was kind of intimidated about going to an actual jewelry store to be fit and have them try to sell me something way overpriced, then have to tell white lies about what it's for.

>>65193

That's great. If you get the wrong size though, can you not exchange it for a different size?

>>65196

>ordered the largest size

>it's a tad snug

Looks awesome as hell though. Feels really weird to type with.

Why am I angry at everyone who is happy, or everyone who has their someone in their lives regardless of how happy they are? Why do I get scared thinking about everyone who has failed in life, or those who don't have their someone there with them, regardless of how happy they are?

Why has there been no one who has stayed truly loyal to their waifu for many years? Is it because waifu love is a recent (but fading) thing, or because waifuism is a transient state?

I feel like I'm destined to suffer no matter what I do

>>65222

It seems like you're envious of the security of the happy people's relationships, while you're worried that you'll be like the 'failed' people. Don't compare yourself to others so much, and don't worry about whether the relationship will be successful. Yes, there is the possibility that your love for your waifu may fade, but on the other hand, it may not. You won't know unless you try, and put effort into the relationship.

I don't know who off the top of my head, but I'm prety sure there are people here who have been with their waifu upwards of 5-10 years. It is a fairly recent thing, but not necessarily fading.