/girltalk/ - Girl Talk

Which one do you get most often?

>B but muh world is overpopulated.

>I could never do that.

>Do you know how it works yet?

>Are they all yours?

>Do you even have a tv?

>Do you think you'll have any more?

>Were they all planned?

>Here's a box of condoms.

>Any twins?

>1,2,3,4…

>>18730

>Which one do you get most often?

Probably the "I could never do that". We don't have children so we still basically live like we're teenagers, except for the bills. It works for us and people don't really question it anymore.

1. What's it like keeping friendships with other women, given your situation?

I'm just at the stage where acquaintances are starting to get divorces, and because I disagree with

<muh husband is abusive, so I get full custody and will smear him every chance I get

my beliefs divide me from these women and friends who agree with them.

2. Do you consider your relationship 'successful' and, if so, what do you attribute it to?

3. What is your advice for younger women?

How much does it improve after all those year?

>>18733

Hitting that wall, eh?

>>18735

>1. What's it like keeping friendships with other women, given your situation?

I have no tolerance for drama. Therefore I no longer keep in frequent contact with other women. I have friends that I love and would help if they needed it, but they are still stuck in lifestyles and ways of thinking that I just have zero tolerance for. Mainly regarding their relationships with men and other women.

>2. Do you consider your relationship 'successful' and, if so, what do you attribute it to?

Very much so. Successful in that we coexist, love and care for each other and have no desire to be apart. We have both stuck with each other through some serious shit.

>What is your advice for younger women?

Don't be a whore. Stop thinking you'll find someone perfect, "perfect" is based on tv, movie and teen cosmo drivel that was beaten into your heads from a young age. Don't be petty, stop starting fights. Most men are simple and easy to get along with sans histrionic garbage form you. It's not cute when you act psycho, it's just edgy bullshit that men will eventually get sick of. I could go on and on..

>>18739

>How much does it improve after all those year?

Right now things are really good, pretty great even. It's like after a certain age all the anxieties that hinder relationships when you're young start to melt away. There's almost some relief in being older now. It sounds weird but it's true.

We went through some tough years, especially when we were young. There's a lot of pressure from people to "get out there and sow your wild oats". All those people are miserable and hate their own situations or are alone now. There's always ups and downs but we live a drama free life, we argue briefly but never fight (you learn to pick your battles and it makes life a lot easier and enjoyable), sex has gotten really good (and different) in my 30's and we've found a comfy spot in our lives where we each get lots of breathing room, pursue our own interests and then come together for support and love when needed. I'm genuinely thankful I didn't fuck this up when I was young. I almost did a couple times.

>18740

>Hitting that wall, eh?

I'm 38 so yeah technically. But I'm loved and not living alone in a studio with 47 cats that will feed on my bloated, hot pocket stuffed corpse when I have a stroke and die in a craftmatic adjustable bed sooooo.. feels good man.

I like your story. What advice would you give to not drive him away? Or how to work through shit instead of bailing when things get tough.

Femanon, after hearing your story I can only hope that more couples can be as happy as you and your husband.

Why don't you have any child while you were young, though? Even just one seems fine.

When did you two meet, and how?

>>18752

>I never was able to bond with children or even like them for that matter.

That's heartbreaking. Somebody with her head on straight who will not influence the next generation. I'm happy for you, I'm just sad and enraged in equal measure about the future. It's not right, not fair, not just. All the best, lady.

>>18754

Now that I'm a bit older I can look back and say that I honestly feel robbed. I feel robbed of a close connection with my mother who should have taught me how to become a young woman. I had to figure it all out on my own and by then it was already late in the game. I had a nasty relationship with my mother until I was an adult and she got sick. She changed a lot but never really apologized for the abuse and lack of love and affection growing up, and then she died. I'm actually amazed that I found a man whom I could love and who loves me back because I know things don't usually turn out good for people like me, who usually search forever but never quite find the love they so desperately wanted as children. I think the fact that I met him so young is the only reason it worked out.

Maybe I could have reversed the cycle by having children and showering them with the love and life instruction I didn't get. I don't know, but I DO find some solace in knowing that I definitely won't be continuing that abusive cycle.

And thanks, all the best to you as well.

How has sex changed?

>>18759

If you could improve one thing in your relationship, what would it be?

The whole thread seems to assume that it’s always the woman’s fault that relationships fail. Even if a woman does everything right, the man can make mistakes too and fuck it all up.

What I mean is, even if you follow OP’s advice, you’re not guaranteed a perfect relationship.

>>18772

Alright, let me turn your whining into a question. OP, how do you react when he f's up?

How do you react when you f up? or he confronts you about something you've done wrong?

>>18772

Nobody is "guaranteed" anything. Ever. If this thread seems to assume that it's "always" the woman's fault (protip: it doesn't), it might be a result of the fact that, in recent years, the feminist push for female supremacy has caused ever-increasing numbers of selfish women to fuck up their romantic and interpersonal relationships because it's "empowering". But what do I know; I have a penis. Hitler had a penis, too. I'm literally Hitler.

OP here, ok sorry was away for so long, let me see what questions have popped up….

>>18767

I wish we were more active like when we were younger. He works hard so It's not easy to get him motivated to do stuff in his down time. I'm fine with it because I understand, I'd just like to get back to some of our old hobbies that made us happy. I also wish we had worked on saving more money when we were younger. That's more of a slight regret than something I'd change now though.

>>18772

Like I said (somewhere I think) the fact that we were so young when we met and became involved contributed heavily to our bond. I don't think the "perfect" relationship exists however. Movies and media have fucked relationships imo. Real life isn't anything like love in the movies but it seems a hell of a lot of people constantly compare their own relationships to this model. I guess it's human nature.

>>18773

So we are pretty good at talking shit out. We never outright scream at each other or get into fights that last hours or even days. I take bad moods out on him sometimes when I have PMS but I always apologize. He gets it and usually knows that's what it is so he just stays quiet until I cool off.

When he fucks up it's usually because he acted hastily and didn't think something through. He's pretty intelligent so we don't deal with any major fuck ups thankfully. He'll usually argue a bit or just concede that he should have been more patient.

If he confronts me about something I've done wrong and he's right I agree. That's me though, I'm pretty dedicated to admitting my own faults when they arise as part of my own growth. It's not always easy but it helps me be a better person in the end to process that garbage and dump it or transmute it into something better.

>>18775

I might have mentioned it before but I was constantly pressured in my early twenties to get out there and ride the cock carousel. I'm glad I didn't. And while I generally don't care what people do behind closed doors, I do see how this over the top female empowerment shit has doomed a lot of females in their later years to being lonely and bitter against men. Cocks don't equal empowerment. It's a lazy and base excuse for not actually working on oneself at a deeper more meaningful level. Which I honestly don't think most NPC's are capable of anyway.

You're not wrong, Hitler. I think the majority of people can't handle that lifestyle and it's potential negative consequences but they do it because it's "the thing everybody just does". Oh well.

Just stopping by to say this is a great thread! Good going, OP. If you ever regret not coaching kids, are board, and find a desire to bond with some without all of the cleanup, remember there are local summer camps/part time tutoring opportunities at libraries/etc. I do a decent amount of volunteer work and that helps fill the void of a social life I have - it sounds like you both can keep each other pretty well entertained, but just throwing it out there.

Do you talk to him about how you talk about your relationship with others? Thinking out loud - I wonder if he has felt especially appreciated anytime recently. Obviously, it's sometimes up to us to make a first move in reminding the other how special they are - maybe it'd be nice to get him a small plant or something!

>>18804

Thanks for the kind words. I've actually been thinking about doing some charity work around Christmas. Maybe a food bank. I'll have to see what's around without putting myself in sketchy situations.

We do talk about our relationship, yes. There's a lot of years to reflect on. This time of year especially since it's when we first met. Brings back a lot of memories. The good and cringey teenage ones alike.

Recently we had a good conversation about how all of our teen and adult memories involve each other and it's actually really nice to be able to relive them together. That's something not a lot of people have I'd imagine. So yeah, we do a fair amount of talking about these things when the opportunity arises. We are ultimately best friends first. It's always been that way.

>>18807

>It's always been that way.

I'm very happy for you, and very happy that you have the perspective you do.

For example, a long-running close girl friend of mine who has been in a long-term cohabitating/world traveling relationship is in a rough patch and has been wondering out loud to me if a relationship should be taken as a measure of personal success, because there's a bump in the road right now (definitely just a bump, not cheating or violence or w/e), and she's wondering for what reason it's worth attempting to overcome.

I told her a story about a coworker who recently announced he's broken up with a girl who he's known for 25 years (guy's 30) as she was one of his sister's best friends growing up. According to him, they basically looked at each other one day and asked, "Wait, why are we dating?" and broke up at the drop of a hat, just like that. Throwing something away just because it's an option. As if our power to destroy something good is only real if it's used. As always, modern society demands we be outwardly supportive of any and everything that anyone wants to do that increases their immediately perceived level of personal freedom, but I really do believe they made a grave mistake. It is not common to find someone who we can get along with for that long. I am glad some hold onto the opportunity when it arises.

>>18816

Those are sad stories. Maybe there's stuff there that contributed to the break ups that you don't know about, but if it's just because they've been together so long… I don't even know what to say. Isn't that the goal? To have someone with you through everything? To have someone by your side someday when you're on your deathbed? Where do they think they are going to get something better? Why do they think they deserve better? There's so many questions I'd ask them. I've seen similar situations and what inevitably happens is one of them comes begging at the oher's feet when all the freedom and excitement they thought they'd be able have now turns out to be a meme. And usually that person has moved on. <sigh> What can be done. People have to make their own mistakes and some may never recover from them.

>>18817

> Isn't that the goal?

If you are one of the people who, quote, "just want to have fun" as the famous pop song says, then no, it's sacrificing a comparatively solemn but beautiful future for a moment's bright and ignorant bliss.

> what inevitably happens is one of them comes begging at the oher's feet

This is also what I'm imagining will happen, but of course it will never go back to how it was before, even if they ended up together again. It's a real tragedy, but one that happens so slowly it's going unnoticed. I doubt a single other coworker has given it a second thought.

It makes me want to ask your opinion on something, if you have some time. I've got some things I want to sort out before I go through with really trying to pursue finding a relationship (like redecorating my new apartment, which is going well) but I had the idea of making an online dating profile that would be, intentionally, almost autistically abrasive, designed to dissuade more than entice. I have an income that's above the average (just over 100kUSD) but more of an issue - I imagine, here in Los Angeles - is just the number of gold-diggers around, so sorting through the noise might be important. I'm thinking of writing things in the public profile like, "I am writing this assertively, not to try and be every girl's partner or friend, but to be ONE girl's partner or friend." ,"If you've ever used or have seriously considered using Tinder, don't message me. I will hug on the first date if we're feeling fuzzy and that's about it."

Writing it all down for the first time, it really seems cringy and detached from reality, but then, so are my actual feelings towards the vast majority of women here in this city, who almost look for what is truly abusive behavior as a qualification for their partners. Like wanting the guys to make a ridiculously rushed first move - sex coming before love, etc. I feel like 99.999% of girls, even cute girls that I'd want to talk to just for fun, would read the profile and be immediately repulsed, and that's probably for good reason, but I duno, what do you think you'd make of it, if you read something like that? I'm average looks, 6 feet tall, 150lbs, so basically a noodle, but do physical work so I am fit and eat healthy. I'm just a little worried that I'm too obsessed with finding someone that really wants to explore themselves along with a person they trust, and likewise for me - that's as intimate and passionate as things get, for me. I am guessing I would almost never get messaged, and would hope at most for one legitimately curious party to come along after many many months, which might lead to some good conversations over messaging. Does it seem like a valid strategy?

>>18818

>Writing it all down for the first time, it really seems cringy and detached from reality

You're a romantic. There's nothing wrong with that; in fact I personally find it admirable; just realize that the era we live in shames and mocks romantics for believing what we do.

>>18827

Thank you for your input. I am "fine" with being mocked, and I'm often mocked half-playfully for what I like at work, which is where most of my socializing happens nowadays, but the good side is that I will not try to change those parts of myself, and so the few good-hearted co-workers that I care about who are usually the ones doing the mocking (all guys, none with older sisters…) all appreciate that I'm just being myself and so they continue to look out for me, as I do for them, at the same time. I guess I do the same thing to girls I like sometimes, too - the whole teasing thing. Maybe it's true, that some guys never really grow up. lol. fuck X_X

>>18841

>Sounds like a challenge tbh. "He only hugs on the first date?… well we'll see about that…" lol

Haha, that's a really funny way of thinking about it that I hadn't considered. Of course, until I've spoken honestly about something sort of feelings/respect/relationship-related around a given girl, any sort of advances are red flags for me. I remember once I had a crush on a girl I never talked to in a college Spanish class, and she actually approached me a couple months in, asked my name, then said, "Oh, okay, I'll call you 'Sexy Anon'" then I realized a couple weeks in of talking/texting (100% platonically) and being called that a few more times, it was probably because I rode a motorcycle and in my gear walked around looking like a "bad boy" and it sort of ruined how cute she was, for me, that she was drawn to that sort of appearance without wanting to know about me, personally, at all. I never returned her advances…we did hug goodbye a few times at school, I think. Definitely no fuzzy hugs with cooing/nuzzling…

You're right about being too abrasive, but I can be somewhat frank in person too, so maybe it'd be a little dishonest to tone it down too much. I guess I could fake it till I make it, that might be a better way to be, towards girls. Of course, when I'm speaking about feelings person to person, regardless of gender, I am extremely cautious as to not make assumptions or judgements, ask more abstract rhetorical questions than make leading/implying sorts of statements, etc. I'm fine with shit odds, it's the odds I figure I have IRL anyway, and it's still better than zero, right? I really appreciate that you'd want to give me more advice, but of course, if there were straight answers available, it would take the fun out of it. I was just wondering what you might think, and if you, the hay in the needlestack, were in the market for something serious, and it was 50/50 odds that you'd take the bait and send a "Hello", that's good enough for me.

What a pretty painting. I should hope the king would want to wed his daughter to a gentlema—GET YOUR FUCKING PEASANT SLIPPERS OFF THE RUG

bump because, great thread

>>18818

I just don't get the mindset of a golddigger. Growing up, my parents were often obsessed with the appearance of money, resulting in massive debt. It turned me off big money. The friends they tried to associate with always seemed shallow and insincere.

Are you religious? It's easier to spot seriously religious girls who get the purpose of dating/relationships if you are religious yourself- to the point of knowing the Bible thoroughly so that you can defend your principles based on passages you've pseudo-memorized. Then meet those girls in person in church instead of online.

>>18881

>parents

Growing up, my parents fought about money all the time, maybe yours did, too? I make good money but I still drive my grandma's old minivan she gave to me, save a big chunk out of every paycheck, don't buy the latest and greatest whatevers, etc. because, like you, I don't want to impress the types of people who are impressed by posessions or appearance, necessarily. Call it a pipe-dream, but I want to talk to a girl and have her think something like, "He's rough around the edges but will love me when I'm wrinkly and will care about my children."

I remember I was seeing a girl once whose parents may have been like yours - they lived in a penthouse apartment right on the waterfront of a marina/boat dock place. Their richness was intimidating at the time, but their first question to their daughter about me was, "What kind of car does he drive?" and the first thing they told me about when I visited their house first was, "Oh, we like to collect movie posters - look at this one, it's an original. It was very expensive." I really don't want to be a parent like that. My first question to my daughter would be, "Where does he live? Don't try to keep him safe from me." and my second question would be, "What's he like? Tell me about him." The girl was sweeter than I deserved. Probably one of the most genuine and good-hearted people I've ever met. I really regret hurting her with how caustic my baggage was….still is, I just have it in better check, now.

>religious

I was raised Christian, but don't attend Church anymore. Went through an Ow the Edge phase but now I realize the cultural and moral value of religion, and especially the value of Christianity on a global scale. The mechanisms and phenomena of faith and hope are extremely powerful - it is documented that people live happier, healthier, and longer when they are religiously devout, much like the improvements in health when with a partner vs. single - when we're single, if we're not the types to live only for ourselves, we don't have much to live for. That's where volunteering helps me…I would like to go to church for the music and atmosphere, but unfortunately it would be dishonest to present myself as a believer. I suppose I could go and say I'm not religious but am searching for meaning, which would be honest.

Is it bothersome that I write so much?

Question for OP relating to discussion with

>>18883

How did you find your relationship with your parents/family changed over the course of your relationship with your man? Was that a difficult hurdle?

>Go and say I'm religious but am searching for meaning which would be honest

Yes, honesty is key. Warning You may find a girl who takes that as a challenge to convert you and who may get deeply hurt if you don't.

>>18884

>Yes, honesty is key. Warning.

Honesty is the only thing that has a chance of being productive in the end. I hope I find someone like-minded soon - it would be nice to cuddle as the colder months approach. Unfortunately for me, part of how I care about someone is trying to look ahead for them, and if I honestly thought that who I was talking to was going to be harmed eventually by contact with me, I'd stop it early on, with an explanation as to why. I've regretted it, not doing so in the past. I despair at how lost we are as people - inflicting lasting pain on someone else for the thinnest most meaningless stimulation to cover up our own pain.

I have a secret wish that one day when I try to end something for the reason of looking out for the girl, she will be the one to tell me that it isn't my problem what she gets herself involved in, and that she likes that I try to care. I have too many little fantasies like that…

Here's a small fraction of the names the previously mentioned girl would call me when we would chat online. Of course I gave her similar names which we would use in public, etc. We both found the meta-humor pretty wonderful. I still do.

pooglysnoogyfluffermuffkins
snurglysnooglefluffs
snufflylafafufflyboobear
Gurglygooglyfooglycookiepie
pooklessnooklegooglybear
Fluffsnorglykins
googlyooglysnooflybear
snugglycuddlywuddlyfluffkins
googlyfloffyfluffykins
Snooflyflooflybear
fluffywufflycuddlykins
snooglyflufferkitten
Snooglygooglyfloogykins
Snurrglypuff
cuddlysnugglyooglybooglybear
Snufflywufflykins
Googlywooglypoo
Pookiewookiepuddlypie
googlywooglypoo
hugglypuff
foofygoofypooflypuddin
Snoodlyfoofycookins 

>>18884

>How did you find your relationship with your parents/family changed over the course of your relationship with your man? Was that a difficult hurdle?

We were quite young when we met so of course there was pushback for the first few years. At that age you spend literally every second you can together, so I'm sure it was harrowing for our parents who probably thought I'd end up a teen mother or something. Of course I heard it from everyone that I was young and should get out there and date other guys but, meh. We sort of did that when we were about 20 but it was due more to pressure than actually wanting it. I went on a few dates, the guys were ok but way too thirsty and it just put a sour taste in my mouth overall. It didn't last long and the whole time we were still basically together. It was dumb, but young people are dumb and are often given bad advice and they just don't know any better. We moved in together in our early twenties and all of that basically ended.

I had a pretty dysfunctional and abusive childhood. He had great parents who are , for all intents and purposes, my parents. We do holidays with them and used to go camping every year with them. They are good people. I'm disconnected from my family but not because of my boyfriend. Although he has had some conflict with them over their treatment of me and even had words a few times. Which is stunning because he's quite reserved and shy. I've always sort of been the most stable and willing to go out of my way for the people in my family. I don't do that anymore. I was taken advantage of since I was a little girl and the couple times I asked for genuine help I was made to feel guilty. Only took me 30 something years to end that shit once and for all.. good riddance.

So yeah, It's not a perfect life by any means. But my stability and strength are with him and while I'd always be there for family if they showed up at my doorstep in need, I really don't worry about what any of them are doing with their lives. I don't look at their social medias, I don't have any more mutual friends and I have virtually no social media presence myself. We will move away at some point and I might never even see them again. Such is life.

>>18885

Honesty is good but there's no need to tell her something that will hurt her if it would never effect her otherwise. You don't need to tell your partner EVERYTHING. No need to create drama where there isn't any. Telling someone you can't be with them because you're just going to hurt them is some edgy after school special shit, man. It's not like you turn into a wolfman at the full moon and will eat her. Just roll with it and actually try not to hurt her and hope she reciprocates. Why play hard mode if you're having trouble playing to begin with?

>>18886

>Telling someone you can't be with them because you're just going to hurt them is some edgy after school special shit, man.

Well, the word used was pushed, and I guess I took that as a pretty strong meaning…Even in that case, I was thinking more along the lines of, "I'm getting the feeling that me being religious is important to you, but it would have to come at my own pace if it's gonna happen. If that's going to be a dealbreaker for you in the long term, then this might not be worth your time." If she's the one pushing, then she would be the one creating the drama out of nowhere…right? It doesn't need to be a monologue at sunset or anything, just a couple sentences.

>Why play hard mode if you're having trouble playing to begin with?

Can't argue with that…

>family is just a name/home is where the heart is

I am really grateful you found your husband. It is so nice to see when people "make it."

As a teenager, my family was my support group (Ala-teen which is Al-Anon for the kids of alcoholic/drug addict parents.) It's so surprising how much in common we can have with complete strangers, and I think that escapes many people who didn't need to literally or figuratively run away from their homes because their families were supportive in the first place. Anyway, I feel like I'm hogging the thread, so thank you very much for sharing your ideas and experience.

>deeply religious

I brought this up, because I am religious. To my core. As in, my big decisions all revolve around this and our family reads the Bible everyday together. It was easy for me to see mr right because I could see that he would be able to lead me to correct conclusions on topics of life based on biblical principles.

>>18887

>it would have to come at my own pace

For sure. It's the only way you'd be respected. A guy once told me

>I'll convert to whatever you want me to convert to, because my dad did that for my mom.

<Instant loss of respect

Or another one

>I'll go to church to keep you company, but I won't actually believe

<This wasn't enough for me to initiate a relationship, but had he been open to going and open to understanding what I believed, I would have pursued a friendship at a minimum, with hopes of there being more, but ultimately, if after having those discussions he still didn't believe, I would have felt compelled to end it

>>18888

>almost went to theological school and he's atheist

I find your point of view interesting, because it is so different from my beliefs. It would have been a deal breaker for me.

What convictions would you say unite the two of you, if religion isn't one of them?

>>18891

>For sure. It's the only way you'd be respected.

Yes and - of course, you already understand this - it's not just about being outwardly respected, it's equally or maybe even more about showing respect for my partner, enough to be completely honest with them. That's what love is, to me - no-one can love me if they don't know some of who I am, just as I can't love them if I don't know some of who they are, and honesty is the only way to getting to that kind of understanding…I think I sound a little extreme because it's been so many years since I've been in a relationship that these ideas have just bounced back and forth for too long. I need to stop playing hard mode…I really like talking about this sort of thing, though. I don't get to talk to enough girls about feelings and stuff.

>I'll convert to whatever

That's a horrible thing to say. I get that he was probably thinking he was saying the right thing in his book, but it's clear he gave 0 thought to how much your faith meant to you. That devalues his word, which is all you can give to your partners, platonic or otherwise. If his intention was true, the only correct thing to say (and mean it) would have been, "I will begin to think about the faith."

>going to church to keep you company

That's also belittling, as if you need the company, and as if you aren't inviting him to church out of altruistic love for him and a desire to share something that you love with him. I am glad you found Mr Right, who presumably understands these things and appreciates your generosity in wanting to share.

In the hypothetical about a partner who is "pushing" faith - there is a subtle but important difference between being repeatedly invited to church out of love, and being pushed to church out of a desire for control, which is generally what I would consider pushing to be.

>>18891

>What convictions would you say unite the two of you, if religion isn't one of them?

To be a bit clearer, I don't follow a religion. I have been what he might call "obsessed" with religious ideas and movements since I was a pre-teen and read voraciously about it to this day. I don't use a label on myself, but if I had to, I'd say I'm closest to a religious syncretist.

Him and I both grew up Catholic. The same church actually, although we didn't meet until our teen years. I began questioning things at a young age, around 11. He was a gud church boy and generally believed in the floaty cloud God as he was raised to do. We clashed a bit in the beginning as I was in the full throes of rejecting the Catholic Church when we met, but he followed suit eventually. I dived into religious mysticism for over a decade and he sort of went the other way. By the end of our twenties we were basically polar opposites. But we never defined our relationship by religious terms to begin with so it didn't effect much. I was surprised to know he no longer believed in anything "divine", but we still agree on there being a mysterious architecture or pattern to creation which is a thing some people call God and that occultists, scientists and religious men alike have long sought to understand, manipulate and control it. I just don't feel the need to have him validate all of my beliefs I guess. I've always kept mine close to the chest anyway. No one knows about what I actually believe besides me and I've never known a person in my life whom I can express it to and have them understand, including him. So I simply don't and just chug along that road alone.

So as far as convictions go, there aren't many outside of our faith in each other. We lean on and depend on each other for support and care and religious beliefs just don't play a part in that. Of course growing up in the church gave us both the same foundation of morals and that undoubtedly plays a part in defining how we conduct ourselves despite our rejection of the dogmatic teachings. We take on a generally humanistic view of life but without all of the modern poz. Treat people as you want to be treated (which is kindly), but try and hurt me and I'll blow your fucking head off with a shotgun in justifiable self defense. That sort of thing ;) It works for us just fine.

>>18892

I'm not in agreement that these things are necessarily belittling or or horrible. If someone has never known or practiced some type of religious or spiritual devotion, they can't fathom it's importance to someone who has. To them it's as if you were to ask them if they are willing to try your favorite dish - one that they generally don't like - but they are willing to give it another go because they want to please you, and who knows, maybe they'll like it this time. Either way it makes the person they care about happy.

I'm also not so sure about the being invited to church out of love vs. control. If you repeatedly invite someone who doesn't want to participate, it's control, even if you "love" them. You either accept they aren't interested or you don't. I really don't want to start a religious debate here so I'll just leave it at that.

>>18894

Anon, you remind me of someone I once knew. He could read me like a book, and could instantly decipher my mood and feelings, especially when I tried to hide them. (Most people tell me they have a hard time telling what I'm thinking or feeling.) You're much more in tune with your feelings than most men. That can be a great thing when interacting with women. It can help you connect with them on a level they may not have felt before. Look at it as a positive that way, rather than as a negative that you need therapy for. It's a common trait for women to

>inflate small gestures into carrying large implications.

>>18895

>someone I once knew

<…an implication of a decided parting of ways, maybe?

I hope knowing him broadened your perspective on people as a whole, as that's all I can hope for the women who's lives I'm no longer involved in. Someone paying close attention to your feelings is a very special sort of continous compliment, and I hope that it made you feel that way. I love that I love girls so warmly and thoroughly, it's just tough sometimes because I think I'm so alien to many of them in that way, that they might not recognize what I'm expressing to them, and it's been so long since I've been able to express that part of me.

Like flirting with strangers, for instance - I just can't do it because it "inflates" to me that the girl I'd be flirting with is receptive to that sort of thing, meaning they're comfortable being around people who don't know them, and yet want something from them. I wouldn't want my daughter around people like that! Of course if the girl wanted something from the guy then the transaction is "equal", but equal does not mean good, healthy, or loving…I know not everyone is after love, but…I feel like I would want a girl that doesn't want the kind of guy who would hit on them! If that makes sense…it's tough being like this as a guy, sometimes. Other guys only poke fun at it. One craftsperson youtuber I like watching put it best when he was talking about a moral choice he had to make (in a lighthearted setting), "I could but…I mean, I'm raising a daughter." That's as clear and simple as it gets…

>>18896

Of course, flirting can be fun and that's fine. I guess I mean it more in like the now-common sort of "serious" one-night stand type of way. Guys get butthurt if they're rejected, etc. just all so backwards. I don't see how people could pass on the pursuit of a warm cuddle, but yeah, one cosmopolitan heavy-makeup tight-clothes clubbing sort of girl at my job said out loud, "Ugh. I hate cuddling, it's just…blech." Like, of course it's practically gross and sweaty - the point is that you love the person enough to endure discomfort to get your heart as close to theirs as you physically can.

>>18896

>parting of ways

I suppose you could say that. We were just friends, but good friends. I sometimes wondered whether he thought of me as more than that, but as if he could read my mind, he made it clear that we were just friends. We both dated other people during our friendship, but when I met mr right, I felt it was unwise to continue a friendship with him as it could lead to distrust. I know a lot of girls who have 'guy friends', but I feel it would be morally wrong. Disagree with me if you like, but I believe a woman's man should be her only man, and vice versa.

>cuddling

I always thought that was a ploy by imageboards to get more women in… and that's all I have to say about that

>>18898

>Disagree with me if you like, but I believe a woman's man should be her only man, and vice versa.

100,000% in agreement. IMO the ideal is to become a team of two, and only two. I think parting ways was very wise of you, from many angles.

>cuddling

Mmm, I think it's just what we think of as the opposite of lonliness, here on IBs. For most, I'm sure it would be a ploy IRL, too.

Blog time: I remember the last girl I liked; she came over and we were watching Sheep in the Big City fully clothed sitting on my bed, and she dozed off because we had just eaten. I turned down the lights and tucked her in under the blanket, then napped on top of it next to her, not touching, facing away from her so I didn't scare her if she woke up. I felt so happy laying next to her, like how hamsters will pile up on each other to sleep and it looks really satisfying - it felt like that.

Anyway, thanks for the feedback, everyone. I think you're a great bunch of people and I'm very glad that you have things going that work for you. The world needs as many functional relationships as it can get, so thank you, and good job!

>>18752

>My mother clearly didn't want me

I feel like you're that female anon that one time at /pol/ who I replied to on that thread of having kids.

>>18977

Hmm I don't remember. I don't post often anymore and I don't think I've ever said I was female there. But I do check in for happenings and such each day despite the board being a total shitshow the last few weeks. inb4 it's always been a shitshow I've been rather blackpilled on politics as of late anyway so whatev.

>>18981

Please don't be down. In times like this, you have to endure.

>>18987

It's not really a matter of being down tbh. It's just that I see clearly how orchestrated everything is.

>>18728

In the 24 years you've been in a relationship, what's the number 1 tip you can give for conflict resolution with your partner?

>>18988

That doesn't matter. They are not titans above you, but animals fearing those below them. You need to endure, and they will only fear you more.

OP are you still destined to be a cat lady?

What good is a good relationship if you end up being a genetic dead end?

>>19004

>What good is a good relationship if you end up being a genetic dead end?

>Muh seeds. Muh progeny.

Your lazy authority worshiping male ass is part of why the species is on its way out.

What good is companionship you ask. Degeneracy.

>>18773

How is that "whining"? It was honestly something I was thinking as well, it's a valid point to make.

i want to be your boyfriend so fucking bad

>>19014

And your lazy, entitled, lesbian ass is never going to pass on its jeans. I have hope for humanity.

>>18744

>Don't be a whore. Stop thinking you'll find someone perfect, "perfect" is based on tv, movie and teen cosmo drivel that was beaten into your heads from a young age. Don't be petty, stop starting fights. Most men are simple and easy to get along with sans histrionic garbage form you. It's not cute when you act psycho, it's just edgy bullshit that men will eventually get sick of. I could go on and on..

Please do. The details can be important and enlightening. A lot of general advice fails because the people who need that sort of advice don't by themselves understand the specifics of how to apply it.

Appreciate that there is a woman like you to be public about being in a long term relationship between a man and a woman. I am married 24 years. You are right, have to check your emotions so they don't rule and he not selfish and tantrums are unproductive. Dynamics and life changes and you roll with it. No one except J.C.is perfect, don't expect it from him or yourself. Don't be in the relationship to change him!

>>19044

Not gonna lie, this is what I thought too XD

>>18896

I think your idea of flirting is interesting, I definitely see your points. But as a man who sucks at flirting, I look at is a fun, playful way to say "hello". And it's also risk and excitement as well as being on the edge of your seat waiting for what's her next move which can be reciprocal. Just have fun and don't assume all girls are just sluts mentality. You have to have fun first and foremost during the chase.

>>18728

How many other men besides your main man have you sucked and fucked behind his back?

I'm up to seven and I have been with my guy for over 17 years now. I love him and everything is great between us, but the dick from other guys just makes me wet. I have involuntary orgasms thinking about screwing other men. Then I have to do it if my guy isn't around.

It started about 10 years ago when a co-worker kept hounding me to take a ride after work. I worked part time in the evenings. I was attracted to him and flirted a little but I didn't think he really wanted me.

Before my current man, I was married for 12 years. We had two kids. We met young and I never dated or messed with anyone before I got married. He was my first. I couldn't screw around living in a small town of less than 400 people. It would have gotten back to my parents and I would have been hung by their church.

I'm 47, not very attractive, gray hair, 287lbs naked, long saggy C boobs, and 4'11". I don't see why so many guys want to fuck me. I don't have a round but. I look flat chested because my belly is so fat. I have had thyroid problems all my life.

The right guys always get a yes. I just don't like overly fat guys. I'm only into white guys too. The youngest guy was 19 and happened a month after my 46th. The oldest was when I was 39 and he was 64. Dick size don't matter as long as they aren't big guys. They hurt and I don't stretch open much. Having kids nearly killed me. I lost a lot of blood from the ripping while giving birth. My vagina just doesn't open up much. Anyway, TMI and that's gross to talk about.

>>19644

Don't you feel guilty?

Don't you think your main man deserves to at least be aware of it or is the indiscretion part of what makes it hot for you?

>>19645

I thought I would feel guilty but no. I don't get it. I love the guy I'm with but I don't think I've ever been in love with anyone. Maybe that's it.

Before all this started, I had been working 16 hour shifts five and six hours a day for just over a year. I found out he was screwing a girl he worked with. When I found out about them I switched jobs to the part time job I mentioned above.

I thought I would be really hurt and angry. I wasn't. I was a bit jealous at first and felt like a fool. After we talked, he was sexually deprived. We had only had sex eight times in roughly the 15 months I was working those long hours. It was the first time we had both been able to count and remember every time we had sex. Sometimes I would fall asleep during. That's gotta be hard on a guy that was 27-28 (he is younger than me by six years) and went from sex every day to every two months or there about.

After I talked to his FWB, I got it. It was just a thing for both of them. It wasn't serious. He wasn't looking to leave me and she wasn't wanting him to leave me. She was using him to get back at her ex-hubs. They don't know that I know they are still friends. They no longer screw each other. She got remarried.

After all of that, I just didn't care what he did. I knew he wasn't going to leave me. If he screws anyone, I don't care. I just don't want it being rubbed in my face. I don't want him to compare me to other girls. My little bit of self esteem couldn't handle what I may possibly hear.

There are a lot of things he got used to having before he met me. I can't do a lot of that fetish stuff he was used to. If he can get it from someone else, I don't care. I don't want the pressure of feeling like I can't preform to his liking. He is the only guy I have ever gone down on, but I can't finish. I like his taste but the one time I tried to swallow, I almost puked on him. I felt so bad afterward I almost cried. I'm very sexually reserved for the lack of a better term. I can't get into all those crazy positions and do all those things he wants. I like sex simple.

The guys I screw on the side get it quick with them on top or doggy sometimes. I can orgasm in just a couple minutes with my man and have multiples with him. With the other guys, I just want to orgasm quick and get away from them. No kissing, no oral on them or me. No fingering me. I can't stand that. My man is the only one that's been able to finger me without turning me off instantly. Just a quickie and go. I got fixed after my man and I had our son. So no worries about pregnancy.

>>19644

>>19648

There a reason you chose this thread in particular to talk about being a disgusting pig? There are plenty of others like the girlboners thread where you could have talked about what gets your nasty gash wet all you like. Or start your own thread. Instead you chose this thread about a femanon and her loving long term relationship with related advice, rudely implied she cheats by asking how many guys she "sucks and fucks" on the side as if it's a just a given, an then blabber on about some shit no one here even wants to know. No wonder she thinks it's bait. You're just here to turn something inspiring and good into something degenerate and base, like you, right? I'll assume it's jealousy.

>>19651

I made the posts you're referring to. I've never met a female that didn't cheat. A lot of them say, oh it was just a kiss. It's not cheating. Oh it was just a BJ, it's not cheating. Oh, I jerked him off. It's not cheating. Oh, I was drunk. It's not cheating. Oh, it happened in Vegas so it's not cheating. I hear stuff like this from friends and even women that are just acquaintances. I hear the excuse, oh it just happened or I don't know how it happened, all of the time. I've never met a female that didn't cheat but said she didn't because she made up some BS idea in her head that washes the guilt away in her mind. The worst ones are the ones that claim to be straight women and yet have sexual encounters with women, sometimes even with their best friends, behind their man's back. It's like women turn off their logical mind and go with what feels good in the moment and be damned the consequences. I did weight the outcome before committing to my life as a slut pig. If men knew how women really are, they would never marry or have kids with one.

I know I'm a disgusting pig. I need to figure myself out and get help.

Did you ever feel like ""missing out""? I had a not too wild dating history and my current bf that I plan to marry because I'm that certain was a virgin before me. I voiced this worry already with him but he just said that he would never want to and just loves me. However, I find it hard to believe somehow. So OP did any of you ever had this sort of wish to feel the disappointment of incompatible partners before?

>>19653

Maybe the people you surround yourself with are just trash? I don't have much of a social life so I have only 2 friends to go off of, but neither of us have ever cheated. No kissing, not even just flirting with others.

>>19655

>your stuff sounds like generic incel meme-tier propaganda on women

This. I don't believe a single word said by 888cde, sounds like complete bullshit.

Whats it like to have been duped into that marriage shit? You didnt come up with the idea, so its best to abandon it.

You say a lot for simply stickin around.

>>19725

>Whats it like to have been duped into that marriage shit?

Who are you even talking to? If it's me, I'm not married and have said as much in this thread already. I'd be happy to comment on your other 2 sentences but I don't even know what they mean or are trying to say so I suppose I'll wait for clarification.