There are super shortcuts, so I will go ahead and type up some tips if you really want to go that route. I'll include all the drug tips too (Steroids) since that seems to be what you want to know about.
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SUPER WEIGHT LOSS
(FAST / EASY / SAFE / PAINLESS)
First, drop all the fat. The easiest, quickest way to do that is to see a weight-loss doctor and get a prescription of hCG (the drops that go under your tongue). He will also give you a prescription for a hunger pill like phentermine. It will be super cheap.
Using that drug you can safely and painlessly lose 1-2 pounds of pure fat every single day for a month or two straight. You will have to eat a low calorie diet, and you will have to drink bubble water the whole time (like Perrier) to keep your stomach full, but you will feel fine with no hunger suffering. (Due to the drugs and the bubble water). You will also piss a lot which is good because otherwise your body will salvage the fat metabolites and reincorporate them back into your body again as fat. Better to piss them out.
DIET WHILE ON hCG:
You'll have an egg for breakfast (or 3 egg whites), an orange for lunch, some broccoli and chicken (or fish) for dinner, and one other fruit snack like some strawberries. You can't use oils of any kind except you can safely use a small amount of coconut oil to fry your egg and to flavor your broccoli/chicken/curry soup. Also, do a daily 20 min walk.
After you do this, your balls will be supercharged from the hCG and you will have dropped ALL the fat from your body.
Suggest buying some of those electric scales that can upload data to your phone about your daily progress in fat loss, muscle gain, bone density, water levels, etc.
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SOME SUPPLEMENTS
Make sure you take a few important supplements: A daily multivitamin like New Chapter, D3 (5000 IU), iodine (i-Throid), L-Cysteine and L-Tyrosine in the morning, a probiotic, and other stuff like vitamin A and vitamin B.
Once you come off the hCG diet, start taking fish oil and vitamin E as well.
Remember, vitamins are really important because weightlifting causes your body to use them up faster, and your body needs them for metabolic processes. Some people recommend doubling the dose of multivitamin for example.
Here are some supplements that will help you naturally boost testosterone: Tribilus, Tongkat Ali, Ashwaghanda, Maca, Paba, Stinging Nettle, and Horny Goat Weed. Some also say Saw Palmetto. Also Zinc is important for male function.
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THE GYM
From there, you can hit the gym and start building muscle.
For your workout routine, avoid isolating muscles (like don't bother doing your biceps). Instead focus on compound movements. Your body will look a lot better, trust me. And (at least at first) get a TRAINER so your technique is right, otherwise you will injure yourself as your weight goes up. Speaking of which, I recommend you purchase some "Band-It" forearm braces from Amazon and wear them when you lift, it will prevent a repetitive stress injury (golfer's elbow).
Here's a sample workout routine:
– Monday: Bench Press (centered over your nipples), Incline Press (use narrower grip than normal bench press for this one), Deadlifts, Lunges, Assisted narrow-grip pull-ups (using a rubber band or counterweight so you can do a full range of motion), Cross-body one-armed cable pulls, leg-lifts, and shoulder press (barbell or one-armed using a dumbbell).
Aim for 3 sets of 10 for each exercise. (But really you can do 2 sets of every exercise and do just fine). As you go to higher weight, aim for 6-8 reps per set.
– Tuesday: rest day.
– Wednesday: Decline Bench Press (use a slightly wider grip than normal bench press), Chest Flies (dumbbell or cable), wide-grip cable pull-downs, narrow-grip cable rows. Back squats (with weight), side squats (no weight), Cuban Press for shoulders, and sit-ups.
– Thursday: rest day.
– Friday: Narrow-grip Bench Press (centered over your lower chest), Straight-arm barbell lifts (for chest) using the Z-bar. Straight-arm cable pull-downs (for your "wings" on the sides of your back). Reverse flies. Overhead tricep cable extensions, Front squats, Leg extensions and leg curls (on the machine) as well as calf machine (high reps for calves). And front and side raises for shoulders.
– Saturday and Sunday: rest days.
Notice there is always 1 or 2 recovery days between every workout. The recovery days are when the actual muscle growth occur.
Remember also that you don't want to skip your legs because they are large muscles and they stimulate a lot of natural testosterone production.
You can probably even get away without cardio, but it's really better to do 30 minutes of cardio in the morning on an empty stomach. Take a Serrapeptase on an empty stomach with a glass of water, do the cardio, then have your first protein drink and prepare your breakfast.
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NORMAL DIET WHILE LIFTING
First, eat normal 3 meals a day. In addition, drink 2 or 3 protein drinks throughout the day, especially right after a workout.
PROTEIN
The best protein trick is cartons of egg whites. They are pasteurized, flavorless and odorless, and you can get 40 grams of protein from 3/4 cup of egg whites. They are also cheap and probably the best quality protein that exists.
What I do is, I buy Core Powers (kind of like Muscle milk) and I drink ONE HALF of a core power, but I pour in some egg whites. I save the rest in the fridge for next time. This way my protein drinks are delicious chocolate, last twice as long, and include multiple types of high-quality protein.
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MEALS
As soon as morning cardio is done (on an empty stomach) I'll have a protein drink as my very first meal. Then I make breakfast maybe half an hour later.
For BREAKFAST, Eggs and Oatmeal are fine in the morning. Oatmeal is a good carb. You want to eat an egg yolk but maybe not 3 or 4 yolks because they are high in fat. (But they ARE good for you).
TIP: for sugar-free oatmeal and iced tea, get some Stevia. Not the shitty kind they sell in the store. I mean the good stuff from Bolivia. Search for "Ecologica-Natu-Diet End Stevia". It's a game changer. You will never need sugar for anything again.
I'll have a protein drink 3 hours after breakfast. I always do that between meals. This is also a good time to eat an orange or other (variety) of fruit.
For lunch and dinner, you want a CARB, a VEGETABLE, and a LEAN MEAT with each meal.
– CARBS: a baked potato with some coconut oil and salt is delicious. The other "good carb" is brown rice. Don't forget Quinoa. Lentils are also excellent, filling, and high in protein.
– LEAN MEAT: Tenderloin steak, 90% lean hamburger meat (tastes good mixed with rice), Fish (preferably smaller fish with a lower lifespan, since they have less mercury. Tilapia for example). And chicken of course.
– VEGETABLES: Broccoli, Cauliflower, Spinach, Kale, Mixed Veggies, olives, etc. A variety of colors is important here. This should be the biggest portion on your plate.
Have a protein drink immediately after lifting, then eat dinner an hour later, then wait another hour or two and have another protein drink.
This advice on diet is critical, You will not gain without the food. The protein drinks are important for being able to cram down all the protein that you would otherwise never be able to chew if you tried to do it with only dietary meat.
The rule of thumb is that you want to drink a gram of protein every day for each pound of body weight. So if you weight 200 pounds, that's 5 meals of 40 grams protein each. Per day.
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FOODS AND DRINKS TO AVOID
– Avoid dairy. If you need milk, use it sparingly and drink fat-free milk. If you need creamer, use whole milk instead of half-and-half or cream. Endeavor to completely eliminate all CHEESE from your diet. (Once you do this, you can still enjoy a piece of cheese every now and then).
– No soft drinks or juices. Instead, drink WATER and ICED TEA. Green tea is also really good for you, and in combination with Zinc it will protect you from coronavirus. The tea can still be sweet and delicious if you use the above-described Stevia.
– Do not ever drink alcohol. Gram for gram it has TWICE the calories as carbs. It's extremely fattening, it will dull your perception, make you a bore, and make you fat with bitch tits. Also, don't smoke, it will only drag you down. And don't smoke pot, it will lower your testosterone, your masculinity, your ambition, and give you bitch tits. (Again though, once you eliminate pot from your life, you can still occasionally enjoy it safely).
– Do not eat processed foods. They are the worst for you. The more processed, the worse they are. Better to cook from scratch and to prep your meals.
– Do not eat fast food. Period.
– Avoid bread. You can have some, especially around breakfast time, but in general bread is a bad carb. Though if you grind the wheat yourself and bake the bread yourself, it can be a lot better for you.
– Avoid pasta. Avoid pizza except maybe once per week on your cheat day. Same with burgers.
– Check ingredient lists, and don't eat anything with Soy. The only exception I'd allow is some Edamame when you're having sushi. All things in moderation. Soy will give you bitch tits.
– Similarly, avoid plastic tupperware – prefer glass. Avoid non-stick pans and non-stick coatings on take-out foot. They will give you bitch tits. For the same reason, don't touch receipts. When they try to hand you the receipt at the grocery store, ask them to put it in the bag.
– Avoid eating carbs, especially bad carbs, in combination with fats. The COMBINATION is really bad for weight gain. That's why if you must use fat on your rice, use a small amount of coconut oil so your body can't absorb it. Same for your oatmeal.
– No ice creams or candies or cakes, etc. Just period, cut them out.
Trust me, you will already be eating so much that you are not going to have problems with hunger or temptation. Also, keep the bad foods out of your house entirely so you aren't constantly having to reject them.
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STEROIDS
You need to be careful here because there's lots of bad "bro science" out there and you can permanently fuck up your ability to get erections, to produce testosterone, and to produce sperm. There are other health risks as well. But if you want quick results and you do it right, it's very effective.
I'm not a doctor and I'm not advising anyone to do this, but I will give you the knowledge.
First, see a doctor and get your liver enzymes tested. You don't want to do steroids if you have liver damage. Steroids, used improperly, can also cause liver damage, so test your enzymes regularly.
Second, make sure you research and acquire ALL your drugs for your ENTIRE CYCLE, before you start actually taking the steroids. This includes the drugs you will need for the post-cycle therapy after your main steroid cycle is over (to bring your body back to normal testosterone production again). Do not start the drugs until you have purchased the entire supply that you will need in your possession.
Third, a cycle can be 1, 2, or 3 months long. If should not be any longer!! You are more likely to cause permanent damage if you exceed those timeframes.
Fourth, once your cycle is over, you will have another few months of post cycle therapy, and then you don't want to do another cycle for at least 6-12 months. Don't do cycles back to back.
Here's an example of a safe, easy, effective cycle:
Make a calendar so you can track your drugs used every day. For this example I will do a 3 month cycle, plus post-cycle therapy.
INJECTABLES
– Nandrolone. Aka Deca-Durabolin. For your first dose, take 250 milligrams. So for example, if the bottle says it contains 250 milligrams per ml, then you would inject 1 ml. Then wait a couple days, and on the 3rd day lower the dose to, say, 175 mg. Then on the 4th day after that, another 175 mg. Then 3 days later another 175 mg, then 4 days later another 175 mg, then 3 days later, etc until you have been using the nandrolone for 2 months. Then STOP taking it, since it has a long half-life and it will still be in your body for the final 3rd month before it eventually wears off.
– Nandrolone will immediately drop your body's natural testosterone production to zero. Therefore you also have to stack it with Testosterone. Use one with a long-lasting ester like Test Cypionate or Test Enanthate. It's easiest to pull the testosterone into the same syringe as the nandrolone, so you can just inject it all at once in a single injection. On the first day, front-load it with 500 mg. Thereafter use 250 mg for all the rest of your injections. And again, mix it with the nandrolone so you can inject both at the same time.
– Order syringes online, and get 2 different size needles: like 18 gauge and 25 gauge. The thicker needles are for quickly drawing the drugs from the bottle, and the thinner needles are for the actual injection into your body.
– Stop using the Testosterone Cypionate about a week after you stop using the Nandrolone. It's a long-lasting ester so you have to stop it early to give it time to leave your body. For the last few weeks of your cycle, take Testosterone Propionate instead. It's much shorter lasting, so you will have to inject it every day for a few weeks until your cycle is done.
===> All of the above injections will need to be intramuscular, and you need to rotate injection sides. Side of right ass, side of left ass, side of right thigh, side of left thigh, right shoulder, left shoulder, then repeat ad infinitum.
ORALS
– You also want to take oral steroids at the beginning and end of your cycle, to kickstart things. For example, take oral Primobolan, or oral Dianabol, or oral Turinabol for the first 3 or 4 weeks of your cycle. Don't take it longer than that because it can be hard on your liver.
– Similarly towards the end of your cycle, take oral Anavar or Winstrol for a few weeks. These help build some good, lean muscle and are good to stack with the other stuff I've described.
For orals, a good dose is 1 pill per day. A max dose would include an additional pill at dinner as well.
ADDITIONAL DRUGS DURING THIS TIME:
– Cytomel.
– Clenbuterol.
These are effective fat burners in pill form. Ideal way to take them is, 2 weeks clen, then 2 weeks cytomel, then 2 weeks clen, etc until you have finished the 3 months of the steroid cycle.
HGH
– If you can afford it, you should also get Human Growth Hormone. It's really really good. You can use the world's smallest insulin needle, completely painless, and inject an IU per day, preferably when you wake up on an empty stomach before your morning cardio. Just pinch your belly fat and plop the needle in like a dart (quickly) and you won't feel it at all. HGH increases energy levels, increases youth, burns fat, builds muscle, increases recovery and healing time, and reduces the number of hours you will need for sleep. You will feel really good while on this amazing drug. And as long as you keep the dose low (replenishing the amount you naturally had in your 20s) you won't have any of the side effects that happen to bodybuilders who overdose the stuff.
– Note that you can stay on HGH forever, unlike the other drugs I've described. But it's expensive.
BITCH TITS
Testosterone naturally metabolizes into ESTROGEN. So guys who take a large amount of Testosterone are at danger of growing bitch tits. To fix this, you want to have some estrogen-blockers on hand. If your tits start getting sensitive, take some arimidex or better yet, Exemstane. Every other day until symptoms subside. You don't want to block your estrogen too much since it's important for sex drive and brain function. So just use this only as needed.
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TESTICLE PROTECTION
– Every day while you are on your steroid cycle, take 100 mcg of hCG. This will keep your testicles from atrophying and cause them to continue producing sperm. You can combine this with your HGH injection (which is subcutaneous) so there's only a single painless injection each morning.
– A week before you cease taking Testosterone, you need to also cease the hCG injections in order to prepare for your post-cycle therapy.
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POST CYCLE THERAPY
Once you finish your steroid cycle, you need to do post-cycle therapy or you will suffer side effects, muscle loss, depression, etc lots of bad stuff. Make sure you have all these PCT drugs lined up in advance and you will have a pleasant recovery.
Continue to hit the gym through this entire period as normal!! Same with the diet and vitamins.
For PCT:
– First you want a supply of CLOMID. 100 mg per day for 3 months. Take weekends off. (Cycle off on the weekends). You might also take a 5 day break each month.
– Second, you want to take Exemstane (or at least Arimidex) during PCT. Exemstane is by far the better one. Take 25 mg per day for the first two weeks, and then reduce it to 12.5 per day for another week or two, then stop taking it.
– Third, you want to take some Nolvadex during PCT. Take 40 mg per day for the first week, and then 20 mg per day for 3 more weeks. Then stop taking it.
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Okay there ya go – the knowledge, the tricks. If you do this properly you can get drastic easy results in a very short period of time, while preserving and recovering your normal sperm and testosterone production AND maintaining your muscle mass after the cycle is over.
Make sure you read these instructions very careful, do your research online, and find a doctor who can keep an eye on all your levels while you are doing this. If you find the right doctor he will even prescribe this stuff, or some of it, so you don't have to get it on the black market.
This info is PURELY FOR EDUCATIONAL REASONS ONLY and I am not recommending that anyone break the law.