too long, sorry; thoughts?

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File: c5727ce383e6073⋯.jpg (59.64 KB, 523x800, 523:800, save_me.jpg)

too long, sorry; thoughts? anonymous912 05/10/19 (Fri) 00:02:50 No.19067

sorry for the disturbing image, i really don't have any pepes. i don't know why i'm typing this, i'm pretty satisfied after getting almost 100 replies to a thread about parents i made. anyway, here we go.

>turned 16 like 2 months ago

>born artificially inseminated to a dyke in fl

>at 5, relocate to philly where mom grew up, lots of blood family there say they'll help

>we get there

>no one helps

>mom stays with her aunt, we get kicked out after about a year and a half

>struggle

>woman my mom met when i was 2 moves out to philly with us, stays relatively unemployed

>struggle more

>eventually they move back to fl, where my "stepmom" has two late-20s daughters

>stay with oldest

>she's a bitch, bs ensues

>we move into an apt in same complex

>neither have a job, so we struggle

>about to get evicted

>mom sees job opportunity in orlando

>says fuck it, we dip, put all our shit in storage

>live on streets for like a week or two

>i'm numb

>manage to squeeze out plane tickets from shitty family crisis organization to CA, where my stepmom has sisters and a mom

>stay with step-aunt for a while

>we get our own place

>struggle, the two fucks are unemployed again

>get there at age of 11, spend last few months of 6th grade there, then 7th and 8th

>in each of these school years, everyone loved me, something that has never happened before

>8th gr is happiest school year of my life; i know everyone, they all think i'm funny, even get involved with a pentathlon

>go to church with my stepmom's relatives

>2017 summer my parents tell me they gotta move again

>ohfuck

>"we'll come back though"

>they were waiting on a lumpsum

>we get to florida, stay with oldest step-sister

>she's still a bitch, kicks us out this time

>we stay in a shelter

>mom gets a job

>stepmom gets a job

>lumpsum never comes

>i fall in love with filipina i've been texting from middle school

>we get our own place

>parents work up cashflow

>i'm hollow, losing interest in everything

>everything falls out of my hands, no matter how hard i grasp

>ask parents to just send me back, just for a bit, i'll even get my ged and shit

>they don't plan to

well, should i run away? what the fuck do i do? i'm so sick of the sights here. i can't stand it at all. i don't even know what i'm even really asking, or, if this isn't a question, trying to say.

____________________________

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Doomer 05/10/19 (Fri) 00:22:34 No.19069

Don't worry, it made my peepee feel funny.

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Doomer 05/10/19 (Fri) 00:25:38 No.19070

File: 5b7608bdc522916⋯.png (46.47 KB, 1890x840, 9:4, phoenix.png)

>sorry

Don't be. It's a cool picture and one look at the art thread should tell you that it fits right in.

>should I run away

Only if you feel like not running away is genuinely worse long-term. That is long-term as in atleast the next five years.

I honestly don't know what advice to give other than to fight the numbness and to get into meditation shit works wonders trust me

I feel for you anon. I'll ask Satan to look out for you.

Pic related. You might want to stare at it until it glows or you feel funny. Shit works even if you don't believe in it. It works even better if you do.

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Doomer 05/10/19 (Fri) 01:08:21 No.19073

>>19070

Do you visit /occult/? where do you get started on that stuff?

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Doomer 05/10/19 (Fri) 11:11:04 No.19090

>>19073

Depends on what I'm looking for. /x/ i good for general paranormal stuff. /occult/ is slow af but much more serious than /fringe/ and you find alot of good info on alchemy there. /fringe/ is the best imo apart from the megalomaniac who signs all his posts and shits on everything that isn't exactly how he does stuff. I got the sigil from a sigil creation thread on fringe. There's more and I found it to be really good stuff.

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Doomer 05/10/19 (Fri) 12:16:06 No.19091

>>19073

If you're serious, I'd recommend Modern Magick as a general primer (it's Golden Dawn, which I wouldn't trust, but it gets you speaking the same language as other western practitioners and the basics are good to get you started), followed/coinciding with Evola's Hermetic Tradition.

After that, you're good to go with any of the medieval grimoires. I recommend Sacred Texts for free ones (albeit usually written archaically) until you've found some that you like to work with.

Once you're more confident, I can also recommend Betz's Greek Magical Papyri or, if you can get your hand on it, Cecchetelli's Book of Abrasax for a much, much smaller selection of Egyptian magic albeit not in fragments like with Betz.

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Doomer 05/10/19 (Fri) 15:21:23 No.19097

>>19091

>If you're serious

I don't know, at least I don't expect for any of this to be flashy magic, I've read enough to tell it's supposed to be mostly enlightenment, meditation and rituals for ambiguous goals.

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Doomer 05/11/19 (Sat) 02:47:55 No.19138

I noticed you don't have any males present in your life. do you even have a male friend? dafuq?

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Doomer 05/11/19 (Sat) 02:48:38 No.19139

>>19090

I tried figuring out my chart but I never got answers on it.

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Doomer 05/12/19 (Sun) 05:51:34 No.19248

How old are you? Have you even fucked anyone?

Don't run away, thats like quitting your job while bankrupt. The best revenge is your success. You love this girl, then you need to achieve financial independance so that you can be with her. Get your GED, then go to a trade school - elevator tech/electrician/plumber are all fantastic and well paid careers and you could even start your own company.

Use your folks to get a GED at the minimum. Hope is not lost, your hormones are getting fuckey and giving you depression. Be sure to get a lot of aerobic exercise and lift heavy weights so that you can be attractive and masculine for your love.

Keep it up OP, you got this.

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Doomer 05/14/19 (Tue) 18:53:12 No.19539

>>19067

that was hell of a story anon.

thank you for posting

>well, should i run away?

yes, get the fuck away from those dykes

they are ruining your life and they don't even seem to care

they probably only had you because they needed something to post on instagram about or brag to other people about. or to show that dykes can be mothers too. they don't love you nor ar they interested in you becoming a functionnning adult.

but the good thing here is, you are only 16 and you already understood the root of your problems. Those people are making your life hell and they are drawing you into their misery with them. If you stay with them you will only drift further into the abyss. You can do it boyyo. I wish I had your knowledge at age 16. I was 26 when I finally understood that my mother was fucking up me and my 2 sisters and my father didn't care about it. For me it was too late already but the youngest might have a chance at a normal life.

>what the fuck do i do?

go to the girl you love. She is in that town you felt good at, right? Get with her again, enroll back to school. Find a way to stay there where your friends are. Ask friends to stay a few weeks at their house until you find a solution for housing. Get a job as soon as possible and become independent. If your gf is really angellic, she will let you stay at her house even.

Honestly anon, when I read your story I felt so bad. Because you had a second spring in life. Things started to go up again and your egoistic dyke mother just chose to destroy your future over some shitty money. Please anon do us a favor and make it. I want to see you succeed and never come back here. Or come back and tell us that you are happy and you found your place in society. I really hope for a happy end in your story.

GOOD LUCK

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Doomer 05/14/19 (Tue) 18:57:29 No.19540

In any case you need to find a job or some source of income. But I am sure you will succeed because you have the love to this girl and this will be your strongest motivation to overcome all your problems. Another thing you could do is find out if there is some type of shelter for children without parents in the region. Or some charity organisation. Don't be too prideful to take their help. You can let them help today and one day when you are strong and independent man you can come back and help them.

Or start your own charity that will help young people who are in the same situation as you are

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Doomer 05/15/19 (Wed) 01:43:53 No.19591

>>19539

>they are ruining your life and they don't even seem to care. they probably only had you because they needed something to post on instagram about or brag to other people about.

That's what all parents do, anon. At least the dykes are honest about it. Honestly, this world would be so much better if people were just HONEST, y'know? Like, who cares, it's not like anyone will do anything about it. So just come clean.

>>19540

>Another thing you could do is find out if there is some type of shelter for children without parents in the region.

Those shelters are doomer central - I volunteered at one once, and it was like fuck, all these future doomers gave me the feels, because many of them were either lost causes or about to be….

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