No.18631
Am i the only one who has a deep need to be vulnerable but has the feeling of getting crushed as soon as just showing a little bit of it because you see what society has turned into. I am dying on the inside but there is no way i can show that anywhere truly just in a twisted joking matter
____________________________
Disclaimer: this post and the subject matter and contents thereof - text, media, or otherwise - do not necessarily reflect the views of the 8kun administration.
No.18664
>>18631
Not quite sure I understand, anon. Elaborate, please?
Disclaimer: this post and the subject matter and contents thereof - text, media, or otherwise - do not necessarily reflect the views of the 8kun administration.
No.18713
Sounds like dependant personality disorder to me.
Disclaimer: this post and the subject matter and contents thereof - text, media, or otherwise - do not necessarily reflect the views of the 8kun administration.
No.18746
>>18631
Pretty much the entire plot of Pink Floyd's "The Wall"
Disclaimer: this post and the subject matter and contents thereof - text, media, or otherwise - do not necessarily reflect the views of the 8kun administration.
No.18751
>>18713
I feel sick so maybe your right
>>18746
Hey never thought of it like that
Disclaimer: this post and the subject matter and contents thereof - text, media, or otherwise - do not necessarily reflect the views of the 8kun administration.
No.18753
>>18664
I don't know i guess the way normal people communicate with echother is weird to me…
All this small talk people do seems just empty and meaningless to me…
I really would like to share my inner workings but at the same time i know that showing just an inch is just a bit of attackabel surface
Disclaimer: this post and the subject matter and contents thereof - text, media, or otherwise - do not necessarily reflect the views of the 8kun administration.
No.18758
I don't understand, do you mean that you can't show vulnerability because in society you can't afford being vulnerable?
Disclaimer: this post and the subject matter and contents thereof - text, media, or otherwise - do not necessarily reflect the views of the 8kun administration.
No.18760
>>18631
get a woman
this world is not kind to those with soft exteriors and weak constitutions
Disclaimer: this post and the subject matter and contents thereof - text, media, or otherwise - do not necessarily reflect the views of the 8kun administration.
No.18761
>>18760
>this world is not kind
Is all you had to type. Injustice is the ruling flaw.
Disclaimer: this post and the subject matter and contents thereof - text, media, or otherwise - do not necessarily reflect the views of the 8kun administration.
No.18762
I feel a kind of need like that; wanting to express sentiments I'd otherwise bottle up as humor, but lately I can't even spin it into jokes most of the time. There's usually a solid wall of fog in between myself and everything I feel. At this point, I hardly express anything. I can't find the desire to.
Disclaimer: this post and the subject matter and contents thereof - text, media, or otherwise - do not necessarily reflect the views of the 8kun administration.
No.18763
>>18753
I know that feel. Online I feel that the rules are a bit different, but in measpace I really struggle with sharing the truth about myself because every bit of truth given has been twisted to make me look horrible. There's some really messed up people out there with more influence than most can hope for, and I mean this on every level. It's really obnoxious to deal with gaslighting attempts when I've outgrown this type of attack; at this point the only damage it causes is making me lose allies but I never needed them. I don't operate in herds well to begin with. It all feels a bit surreal.
My scorpio moon supposedly makes me a very secretive person by nature, but honestly any degree of stinginess with information I have now is due to pavlovian conditioning not to share about myself. The less I say the more people are drawn to me, but at this point I've had to start pushing people away to break the cycle of bullshit.
Disclaimer: this post and the subject matter and contents thereof - text, media, or otherwise - do not necessarily reflect the views of the 8kun administration.
No.18794
>>18631
>vulnerable
If there is one thing I try to avoid then it must be feeling vulnerable.
>I am dying on the inside but there is no way i can show that anywhere truly just in a twisted joking matter
You need a "channel" where you can talk about it a bit more, whether it's some close person or some website. You can always keep on trying to find some person you can talk to but don't feel so bad if people disagree or make jokes about your views. You never know which person might actually share your views until you talk to them more openly and in private. Many people carry a lot of serious shit in them and pretend they are happy because of same reason, scared of being vulnerable, scared of talking about problems.
>>18762
>wanting to express sentiments I'd otherwise bottle up as humor, but lately I can't even spin it into jokes most of the time…
Pretty much this but the result is also that I'm talking less than before. I can't talk in a way I can make it simple enough so I don't even bother most of the time. Also, I don't really need to talk anymore to gain some different views. In a lot of issues I already reached conclusion and if there is nothing to live for, why I should tell people for what will I die and why.
>>18763
>The less I say the more people are drawn to me, but at this point I've had to start pushing people away to break the cycle of bullshit.
I wrote about this fairly recently, people get drawn to you but they will never stand behind you. That's my sad experience.
Disclaimer: this post and the subject matter and contents thereof - text, media, or otherwise - do not necessarily reflect the views of the 8kun administration.
No.18800
>>18763
No one has to twist the truth to make you look horrible, fuck stick. You're a walking disaster and you can't resist jacking off to cartoons for even 5 minutes
Disclaimer: this post and the subject matter and contents thereof - text, media, or otherwise - do not necessarily reflect the views of the 8kun administration.
No.18898
>>18763
I don't know about this scorpio stuff but the rest hits deep i had many of the same experiences…
>>18800
Thats exactly the shit i am talking about like you don't know shit about this person but you try to undercut him for worthless asumbtions. Meanwhile people who harm on purpose and spew nothing but vile shit are hailed i don't this shit
Disclaimer: this post and the subject matter and contents thereof - text, media, or otherwise - do not necessarily reflect the views of the 8kun administration.
No.18899
>>18794
Doesn't it feel kinda unauthentic to you to always be in this defensive agresiv mode?
Like i tried really hard to get rid of all this emphatic stuff in me (watching gore, making jokes about voilent stuff, only listening to voilent stuff) but it kinda just makes me sad.
i just wonder
Disclaimer: this post and the subject matter and contents thereof - text, media, or otherwise - do not necessarily reflect the views of the 8kun administration.
No.18900
>>18898
*i don't get this shit
Disclaimer: this post and the subject matter and contents thereof - text, media, or otherwise - do not necessarily reflect the views of the 8kun administration.
No.18901
Disclaimer: this post and the subject matter and contents thereof - text, media, or otherwise - do not necessarily reflect the views of the 8kun administration.
No.18953
>>18753
>I don't know i guess the way normal people communicate with echother is weird to me… >All this small talk people do seems just empty and meaningless to me…
Used to baffle me endlessly before I got a job and trained myself to wear and uphold the mask of the normalcattle to pay my bills. Hard to explain but "meaningless" small-talk is the primary and initial means to connect to other humans you're not yet acquainted with. A kind of "social glue/lubricant" if you will. The more you do it and the more skillful (for lack of a better term) you are at it, the closer you can acquaintance yourself with "the pack" and its constituent individuals. Then at that point you can try to open up and send out little pings and probes to try and ascertain, to learn who might be more-or-less "your people" with whom can THEN try to "be real", "drop the mask", and otherwise try to be "trve friends" with. The process of small-talking to acquaint yourself with others could be likened to dogs getting past the "butt-sniffing phase" and being nice and friendly and playful with one-another before… whatever constitutes deeper connections dogs forge with one-another, if they even do.
Disclaimer: this post and the subject matter and contents thereof - text, media, or otherwise - do not necessarily reflect the views of the 8kun administration.
No.18955
>>18953
>you can try to open up
Forgot to add:
<while still mostly hiding your power level
And furthermore, the following spoilered for much unwarranted blogging:
Instead of seemingly instinctually doing stuff like this in my early childhood like most people [ie those without moderate to severe mental handicaps] seem to, I had to fumble and stumble along, figure out, and [mostly] self-teach the basics of socialization similarly to how most of us learn to drive – except no formal instructor, instead trial-and-error with emphasis on error and I'm still fucking up more often than not when I'm not LARPing the stoic but sometimes moody "quiet loner who keeps to himself" type when I'm not feeling up to practice and "skill-grind" the arts and sciences of non-written communication & non-Internet social networking.
Disclaimer: this post and the subject matter and contents thereof - text, media, or otherwise - do not necessarily reflect the views of the 8kun administration.
No.18992
>>18953
This actually makes alot of sense. Especially the dog part.
Thanks alot for this.
Disclaimer: this post and the subject matter and contents thereof - text, media, or otherwise - do not necessarily reflect the views of the 8kun administration.