I ALWAYS felt that porn and masturbation were wrong ever since I touched it around my 12-13 years old with anime hentai at first.
As soon as I became 16 years old, it was very evident to me that masturbation was harmful and that it weakens you, and I even formulate the hypothesis that masturbation and porn were used has a weapon of mass psychological warfare, to control people just like that Matrix in the first movie. Yet, nobody was agreeing with me in the internet at the time, so I thought that maybe I was just pushing it a little too further? But now by discovering EMJ, I know that I was very right from the very beginning about my instinct, that masturbation and porn were very harmful.
Anyway, more than 8-10 years later, I yet still fap at least weekly but usually 3 times per week, and I also watch porn from time to time and it makes me crazy…And know that Porn is extremely evil, and now I know that it's actually for a fact that it's a mass psychological weapon and I know the real people behind it (The Jews), and I know that they do it to degenerate the moral, to degenerate the people, to weaken the people, to make people blind and energyless…
And yet, I can't help myself…When the "time" comes, my brain simply shut off and I can't recall any of my morals and any of my values against masturbation, I just feel like an animal without any rationality. It makes me sick seriously, I facking hate it, I facking hate to masturbate, I know it's evil, I always sensed that and I always knew that something was wrong, especially with the whole promotion of sexuality by school and the promotion of sexual liberation and pornography (already between 8-10 years ago). And thanks to EMJ, I know that for an absolute fact now.
So why do I still struggle so much? I'm getting sick of it, not being able to free myself from this dark prison.