/christian/ - Christian Discussion and Fellowship

Congratulations anon!

Why that image bro? Whoever the winnie the pooh did that shit to that cats face; as soon as they turn their back the cat is going to rip that shit out.

>>749080

You'll carry the wound until death, then remade in God's image, again, perfected, without such maladies afflicting you.

Until then, stay the course, run the race, fight, fight, fight … until the dying of the light

What else do you think Jesus meant by "take up your cross"?

>>749157

"Transitioning" is like abortion. If people actually knew what the surgery was and the constant upkeep needed to cope with the aftermath a lot less people would be in favor of it. It's like if someone has suicidal tendencies and then social media goes "It's who you are!".

I hate this world.

>https://boards.4chan.org/r9k/thread/50579384#bottom

>I am a filthy transsexual sinner. I have said that God and Jesus are dickgirls, projecting my sin onto the divine

>I was wrong. I don't know why I said what I said. I am arrogant, and thought I could interpret the Bible myself. I led myself into horrific sin. I am stupid. Do not be like me

I was told to come to this board. I'm still on HRT, but I've become completely disillusioned with liberalism/homosexuality. Masturbation over my own body has never brought me happiness, and I jerked off last year.

The thing is, I can't stop wanting to look like a woman. I can wear male clothes, act like a male, present myself as a male - but I hate how I look and want to look like a cute girl.

The Bible says God grants wishes;

>https://www.kingjamesbibleonline.org/John-Chapter-15/

>7 If ye abide in me, and my words abide in you, ye shall ask what ye will, and it shall be done unto you

>https://www.kingjamesbibleonline.org/Matthew-Chapter-18/

>19 Again I say unto you, That if two of you shall agree on earth as touching any thing that they shall ask, it shall be done for them of my Father which is in heaven

If I wear mens' clothing, can I take HRT and be a Christian and ask God for a beautiful female body when I get to Heaven? I also have long hair, is that OK;

>https://www.kingjamesbibleonline.org/1-Corinthians-Chapter-11/#14

>14 Doth not even nature itself teach you, that, if a man have long hair, it is a shame unto him?

>>760505

Almost everything about this post is infuriating. Good grief. What the actual f*ck is going on with your absolute ignorance of basic theology?

>>760505

>If there are so many different types of people, which one has the image of God?

"Image" of God does not refer to physical, biological things you absolute mong. God, properly speaking, is spirit, i.e., metaphysical. Do you seriously believe the entire universe was made by some space bloke?

>If God is male

God is not male in the sense that sexually dimorphic animals are male or female. God is masculine, but not in the creaturely sense of the term. God is spirit; He – technically – does not possess categories of gender in the sense that creatures do.

>I had a mystical experience which told me that my vocation was to be a monk.

Then why the f*ck aren't you in a monastery discerning your place? Why have you obviously not sought spiritual direction nor guidance? Why are you squandering a gift of God?

>my hatred of my body causes me to reject the entire world

So stop it you stupid bastard.

>I don't even get a cute body in Heaven

I want to kick your f*cking head in, kid, f*cking hell. Heaven is metaphysical; beyond time. There is no sensual bullsh*t there, only the unfathomable bliss of God's presence.

STOP BEING A RETARD! MAN THE F*CK UP! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

FIND A PRIEST

READ THE FATHERS

BEG GOD FOR FORGIVENESS

STOP BEING AN INSUFFERABLE, WHINING CHILD

>>760511

>because I think I'm ugly if I don't look a certain way

So what? Who gives a f*ck what you think?

>I'm like this, but with my entire body. I want God to give me blue eyes, red hair and a sexy body because I feel inferior without these traits.

This is blasphemy, rebellion against the will of God, and of the most petty, childish form. STOP IT.

>I 100% admit that there's a sexual aspect to this

STOP BEING A DEGENERATE.

>Also, I humbly ask if Corinthians and it's talk of the Heavenly Body compared to the Earthly Body is relevant? Aren't we supposed to be changed? Are you saying that the change does not include eye or hair color changes, nor does it include changes in body shape?

Why are you looking to the next world when you have so many f*cking problems to sort out before then? PRIORITISE. You can't run before you can walk! You are clearly so f*cking mangled that you need to start from the ground up. STOP WASTING TIME. YOU WILL DIE EVENTUALLY.

>A new body is literally all I want.

GOD IS BETTER THAN ANY KIND OF BODY YOU IDOLATROUS NONCE!

>>760461

>I can't be saved, because I'll never give up my desire to be a woman.

IF THAT IS YOUR HEART'S DESIRE, THE LORD, INFINITE IN MERCY AND KINDNESS, IS GOOD ENOUGH TO GIVE YOU WHAT YOU WANT. NOT BEING SAVED, THAT IS.

>>760410

>I'm still on HRT

STOP.=

>>760511

>"Image" of God does not refer to physical, biological things

You said;

>You must accept that you were made in the image of God

If God doesn't have a human body, and isn't any other biological, physical thing, than why use the metaphor 'image' when we clearly don't look like non-biological, non-physical things?

You seem to be implying that God is Sacred Geometry, or some other inhuman, non-concrete, conceptual object. If my soul is the only thing that is in the image of God, than how will my soul exist in Heaven? Is Heaven just a place of feelings, not time and place?

>you absolute mong

I'm thankful you have patience with me.

>God is not male in the sense that sexually dimorphic animals are male or female. God is masculine, but not in the creaturely sense of the term. God is spirit; He – technically – does not possess categories of gender in the sense that creatures do

If God doesn't care about bodies, why is a 1000 year reign on Earth promised, and why are we told that our corpses will transform into Heavenly bodies and rise from the grave?

If he's masculine, and incarnated as a human male - Jesus - how is it inaccurate to say that he chose the image of a male human to die on the cross with, and so human males are direct copies of the image of God?

God may have an immaterial form, but he clearly intends for humans to have a human-looking body after death, and for humans to dwell on Earth under Jesus for 1000 years.

>Then why the f*ck aren't you in a monastery discerning your place? Why have you obviously not sought spiritual direction nor guidance? Why are you squandering a gift of God?

I'm here for guidance. I feared that what you said was true, and the truth makes me not want to exist.

>I want to kick your f*cking head in, kid, f*cking hell. Heaven is metaphysical; beyond time. There is no sensual bullsh*t there, only the unfathomable bliss of God's presence

I'm sorry for making you angry. Thank you so much for your patience.

>STOP BEING AN INSUFFERABLE, WHINING CHILD

So I should just stop bothering people with this? Thank you so much for being honest with me. I can see how pathetic I am, but I have no dignity in matters of religion - I'm a child before God, asking for cosmetic surgery basically. I will not pretend for a moment that I need anything I want, or have a reason for wanting it.

I'm begging Daddy to give me what I want through other Christians;

>https://www.kingjamesbibleonline.org/Matthew-Chapter-18/

>19 Again I say unto you, That if two of you shall agree on earth as touching any thing that they shall ask, it shall be done for them of my Father which is in heaven

I just want one wish from God.

>>760515

>What you want changes all the time when you're a materialist. When you get it you'll want something different. Don't indulge in this behaviour

I've wanted this my whole life. The changes HRT causes to my body never get old, and I never stop wanting them.

>Seek only righteousness. You'll find you are getting exactly what makes you happy, because God made you that way. We are all happy when we receive grace

Knowing that God and beautiful women exist makes me happy. I live for the knowledge that people exactly like my ideal self exist. Some of these people are Christians, and I love them;

>https://www.kingjamesbibleonline.org/Isaiah-Chapter-56/#5

>3 Neither let the son of the stranger, that hath joined himself to the LORD, speak, saying, The LORD hath utterly separated me from his people: neither let the eunuch say, Behold, I am a dry tree

>4 For thus saith the LORD unto the eunuchs that keep my sabbaths, and choose the things that please me, and take hold of my covenant

>5 Even unto them will I give in mine house and within my walls a place and a name better than of sons and of daughters: I will give them an everlasting name, that shall not be cut off

I keep myself from these Christians, because they are better than me. They don't want me around. Beautiful Christian women should not be bothered by me. God denied me such a body. I will never go among them, because I can't accept myself, not because God and Christians won't accept me.

I've heard that Hell is being outside of God's presence. I've had tastes of this presence, but I won't pay the price for admission.

I can even admit I'm wrong. No other part of Christianity bothers me but this, and I've seen God. He can't be negotiated or bargained with. I don't want anyone to accept me because I whined enough - the slings and arrows of this thread tell me that I'm hearing the truth. The Christians in this thread are right, and I'm wrong.

>>760516

>So what? Who gives a f*ck what you think?

I love my Daddy, even if he won't give me what I want. It isn't a matter of what I think - I'm just begging my father for one single gift, which you say he will not give me.

I'm a brat, and I'm going to walk away from my Father's kingdom because he won't give me what I want. You are inside, trying to talk sense into me, and I'm having none of it.

I just wanted someone to talk to, and you have given me that. Thank you so much. I love you and our Father.

>This is blasphemy, rebellion against the will of God, and of the most petty, childish form. STOP IT

And I don't hide from your accusations. If God won't give me what I want, than I'll go away silently and without a stir.

>Why are you looking to the next world when you have so many f*cking problems to sort out before then?

Jesus said to give everyting you own to the poor, and live like a homeless bum. We're supposed to not care about this world, and live for the next.

I work to improve my situation, but I don't really care if I succeed on Earth. I live for Heaven, and if I'm not invited because I'm a spoiled child, than I'll just pout outside.

>IF THAT IS YOUR HEART'S DESIRE, THE LORD, INFINITE IN MERCY AND KINDNESS, IS GOOD ENOUGH TO GIVE YOU WHAT YOU WANT. NOT BEING SAVED, THAT IS.

I love you and God. You're telling me the truth. Thank you.

>>760525

>God does grant wishes, but not the way you want Him to. You won't wake up one morning as a cute anime school girl

Well, I thought Earth would be suffered through, *then* I wake up in Heaven as a cute anime school girl.

I'm not asking for anything on Earth. I don't want a mortal, Earthly life - Heaven is superior. I want to be on the side of good, and I will always stand with God. I will never lie about what he said, nor will I delude myself about God, Jesus and Heaven.

I'm a homeless sinful child, whining about his body. Nothing more. Even if God intends to let me damn myself, I will not speak ill of him or blame him.

>Why do you want to be a girl?

I think it was because my Dad was very, very distant and cruel in a non-violent, petty way. He'd threaten to hurt me and make me recoil in fear, yank me around by my hair, etc. He never really hurt me until I was an adult.

I never went to school, so I hung out with my Mom all day, every day. Since my Dad punished me for emulating him, I emulated my Mom - and my Mom and Dad never punished me for this.

So I was raised as a boy, but with a girl's social place with only women to emulate.

>Did something happen to you that makes you resent your appearance?

My parents insulted me for having greasy hair you could 'see through,' or just playing calling my (Short) hair ugly, and when I went through puberty my face became a giant zit and they insulted me over that too.

When your own parents insult you for being ugly, and you have no one else on Earth to get a second opinion from, it burns deep.

>Have you fallen into the mindset where you think being a girl in real life is like being a girl in an anime?

My issues are anatomical. Basically, I wish particular body parts were more feminine like an ugly girl with an inferiority complex. When I see my body compared to the bodies of women, I feel non-sexual envy and self-hatred.

I think I gained a female body image from my mother, and my adult mind finds it's internal image based on my Mom incongruous with my masculine body.

>Is it the attention you crave?

No. I used to have social phobia at work, but I'm over that now. But I still like to be alone. I think I fear that anyone at any time could call me ugly, so I just try to stay away from other people.

>Do you have a warped view of what masculinity is into something nasty and unpleasant?

Only for myself. Masculinity in other men is admirable to me.

>Is there something about your body itself that would need to be fixed?

I have a curved penis which makes masturbation unrewarding. I don't know how it would work in a vagina, because I'm a virgin.

>Stop looking for loopholes like a Jew

I'm not - I'm scanning the small print, desperate to find an authentic reason to believe I'll get what I want.

>HRT is poison, people should only be taking artificial hormones if their own hormone glands have been destroyed (e.g. by disease). That shit is not candy. If you take it you are destroying your body, which is supposed to be the Temple of the Holy Spirit, in an attempt to make it into a parody of something it is not

But does HRT make you unworthy of Heaven? If I use HRT, will I still go to Heaven?

One of the things that drove me to Christianity was the realization that I would never get the body I wanted on Earth. No surgery exists to do it. Unless God can give me this body, I will never get it.

If nothing can buy such a body, then I don't want to exist. It isn't God's fault, but I just want annihilation if I don't get a new body.

>>760535

>My only practical, concrete advice is to stop HRT. It will not give you what you want, and it's helping you to delude yourself

I am so desperate. I would never kill myself, but if HRT and God can't do this for me, than I just want to fade away. I can't stop HRT.

>I'm only going to say this: God knows what's right for you better than you do. He created you, He knows you better than you know yourself. There's a reason you're male, and there's also a reason you're struggling with this particular temptation

Yes. What you say is 100% true. Thats why I won't disengage with God.

>Trust God. Accept that you will not always understand His plan, but know that He does have a plan

I love God, and will never curse him or blame him for the problems I'm making for myself. But I beg God to spoil this whining child - to grant me one wish, after a life of abuse and homelessness.

I hope God is just putting me through tests, so when I finally get my desired body, I have a pure soul to go with it. Maybe he demands perfect behavior.

Regardless, I am wrong and God is right. If he won't give me a cute female body, than that is final. I can't bargain with God.

>>760588

>In the same way, your desire to be a cute anime school girl will look so laughable in hindsight

I'm 30 now, so… when do I stop wanting this?

>I mean things like building a birdhouse, together, maintenance repairs around the home, taking apart and putting together machines, playing sports, that stuff

Yeah, that's *exactly* what he didn't do with me. On top of ignoring me and abusing me in petty ways.

>Then get a haircut. My mom only needed to tell me once that my hair was a greasy mess for me to get the message

She's told me before I go to work before that it looks nice. Her opinion of me is arbitrary, and she says those things to hurt me, not because they're true.

>Unless it's an illness it can usually be fixed by getting your life in order. Cut out any processed foods for starters, especially sugar, especially the hidden ones

I grew up eating pork loin, chicken breasts, broccoli, carrots and potatos.

>That's exactly what Jews do

Fine.

>Only God Himself decides who is worthy of Heaven

So, God might still accept me?

>Taking hormones to pretend you are something you are not is like re-decorating a church to be more like a disco, or something like that

I look at it like modifying a car. I also bleach my hair, but I don't pretend to be a real redhead - I'm not trying to be something I'm not. I am what I am - a man on female hormones and anti-androgens.

I don't care about being a woman as such - I care about looking like a woman;

>https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aromatase_excess_syndrome

>The symptoms of AEXS, in males, include heterosexual precocity (precocious puberty with phenotypically-inappropriate secondary sexual characteristics; i.e., a fully or mostly feminized appearance), severe prepubertal or peripubertal gynecomastia (development of breasts in males before or around puberty), high-pitched voice, sparse facial hair, hypogonadism (dysfunctional gonads), oligozoospermia (low sperm count), small testes, micropenis (an unusually small penis), advanced bone maturation, an earlier peak height velocity (an accelerated rate of growth in regards to height),[8] and short final stature due to early epiphyseal closure. The incidence of gynecomastia appears to be 100%, with 20 of 30 male cases opting for mastectomy according to a review

>Fertility, though usually affected to one degree or another—especially in males—is not always impaired significantly enough to prevent sexual reproduction, as evidenced by vertical transmission of the condition by both sexes

God saw fit to make these men like women. They were made in God's image. I only want what God has given to his other sons - this is why I compare my desire for a female body to the desire for blue eyes and red hair.

>>760610

>I should be clear: I don't think your hope contradicts anything in scripture. I hope for the same thing in the resurrection

I hope to be there with you and Jesus. I've imagined appearing in Heaven, and Jesus tells me to look in the mirror, and I see my blue eyes and red hair and embrace him.

>What God wants is for you to trust Him

I trust him in so far as I know he is my only salvation. No one else can save me. Unless I get into Heaven, I will suffer for all eternity.

I also know I can't demand anything of him, so if I don't want what he's offering I have ro leave.

>To know that if you don't get this, it's because it was never really what you needed to be whole and that either way your suffering will be over and you will find the greatest joy you have ever known in God's presence

I've done drugs to the point of scaring myself away from them. Not heroin - psychedellics and weed. I saw God and his followers in Heaven, and it was incredible. A giant mall/parking garage/apartment complex, filled with Saints.

I saw women there. Beautiful women. I want to be there in Heaven, worshipping God with them. They were doing work like on Earth - serving drinks, cleaning floors, keeping books, tending gardens, decorating houses, etc.

>I will pray for you as I pray for myself and for all others like us

Used to ask God for this, but I no longer do. God can see my heart, and he knows what I want. I pray for work, food, Heaven, and I ask God to bless everyone I know.

Thank you. I'll pray that the righteous Christians in this thread receive salvation. You're all good people with patience and concern.

Congratulations, OP! You are a brave person for choosing life over death.

Jesus loves you and will heal you.

>>760685

>No, not really. I've half-heartedly prayed about it, but I haven't seriously forgiven him.

That is a shame. Most people report moving on heals them.

>A week or so ago

Wait what.

>but I don't want to do the same to him or put him in jail

Why not? Time away form him would help. Also he has broken the law.

>>749080

your answers in this thread show a disarming level of honesty that I am quite sure God is pleased to see in you. I have an exceeding confidence that if you persevere and continue to cling to God, eventually He will grant you the grace to turn your inordinate desires into holy desires. These holy desires, when fulfilled, will give God great pleasure in calling you His son, and will give you a joy even greater than you have been searching for all these years. This I know, because God does not give us desires that He does not wish to fulfill, and the inordinate desires you have right now are exactly that, wrongly directed. There is a true joy that you are looking for in the wrong place. Trust God to guide you to the true form of that joy.

my advice:

1. try to completely forget yourself. Take a day, or an hour, or even 15 mins where you dont think about what you want or what you prefer. Instead, think about what God wants, about what the person who you are buying your food from wants, about what the lady on the sidewalk whos walking in your direction wants. (the answer is always being meek and humble of heart)

2. I think in your current situation (and in any situation) you will benefit greatly from cultivating a devotion to Our Lady. Her motherly love will no doubt guide you safely and lovingly to Our Lord Jesus. She also is excellent at building good men, I can personally attest to this.

3. Keep praying, keep trying, keep being unabashedly honest especially in your weakness (as you have so wonderfully demonstrated in this thread). It was your honesty that made me completely look over your excessive degeneracy and childishness, it was your honesty that made me completely overlook all of it and instantly fall in love you. Truly I can say without any false sweetness that you have made me love you with your honesty. Thank you for showing me and all us anons your heart, God bless you and the peace of Jesus be with you.

>>760727

>That is a shame. Most people report moving on heals them

I'm stuck with him.

>Wait what.

>Why not? Time away form him would help. Also he has broken the law

1: I don't want to hurt him back, because on the occasions I've hit him I didn't feel any better and he hurt me for hitting him,

2: I work with/for him, and many of the fights start because I mention Christianity, or because I made a lot of money and he thinks I need to be taken down a peg,

3: I'm homeless because of a combination of neglect (They didn't send me to school or homeschool me) from my parents (Liberals and explicit Communists) and my own laziness, and need his help.

God didn't make my life this nightmare without intending something great when I got to Heaven. My job is to persevere in the face of influences to make me attack other people, masturbate, commit homosexuality (I used to be a homosexual, but I've asked for forgiveness and gotten over it,) etc.

It's not just being the wrong sex and having the wrong hair and eye colors that feels like a ripoff - my entire life has been a disaster. I turned to Christianity after a bout of alcohol and drug abuse lost me my only laptop and a home. I lost my memes, my porn, my art, my stories - everything. My tiny corner of the world was destroyed, and all I had was my psychotic religious mania.

>>760742

>Anon, I know you're not exactly a normie, but surely you know that what you just said was Winnie the Poohed up, right?

Yes. I've actually had psychotic breaks before, and that's why I don't do drugs anymore. I've seen God speak through the wind in the leaves and the cracks in the walls. How good and evil flow between people during conflicts, like vapors. How punches function to transfer energy which controls.

>That dude should be in prison. Because you deserve it, because the people around you deserve it, because he deserves it, and because justice demands it

And what happens then? My father would hate me. He's been violent with others - how much pain would he inflict in prison? He'd be in a context where he would be forced to act worse than he ever had before.

I won't feel better afterwards. I'll feel nauseous because I'm spiteful like him. I want to be the nice, loving person I was born as - not the vicious monster he has tried to turn me into. When I was a kid, one of my cousins broke a truck of mine - I didn't notice or care. Jesus says to be like little children;

>https://www.kingjamesbibleonline.org/Matthew-Chapter-18/

>1 At the same time came the disciples unto Jesus, saying, Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?

>2 And Jesus called a little child unto him, and set him in the midst of them,

>3 And said, Verily I say unto you, Except ye be converted, and become as little children, ye shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven.

>4 Whosoever therefore shall humble himself as this little child, the same is greatest in the kingdom of heaven.

If anything proves at least I have a mind to forgive him.

>If you must avoid that, at least remove yourself from that situation

I can't, see >>760777

>Also, stop all the other crazy stuff you're doing like wtf get help bro

I'm here for Christian fellowship. When I went to get help, I got hormones. But I wanted them, so it's not like they pushed them on me.