/christian/ - Christian Discussion and Fellowship

Also before anyone goes into frenzy mode. No, I'm not a psychopath or whatever. I just have problems, big problems.

>>745238

You have to forgive the people who molested you and forgive your parents before you can make any progress.

This guy could help

https://www.youtube.com/user/tednottingham/videos

>>745240

Keeping in mind that judgement doesn't mean thinking your caretakers didn't do anything wrong, there is much to it. I believe https://www.catholic.com/magazine/print-edition/the-limits-of-forgiveness is correct in this matter.

Learn the prayer of the heart, brother.

God bless you.

>>745240

I can't do that, before I myself have to ask forgiveness to my cousin, and other friends, I'm just like my caretakers, a menace to society. Once I'm done. I'll close myself into a room, pray, fast and never leave.

>>745375

Suicide is one of the most “

(literally) mortal sins. Do not do this.

>>745375

You also need to forgive yourself.

>>745378

I won't commit suicide. Even if there isn't anything left for me. I can't form a relationship with a girl (never had). They will think I'm crazy, a degenerate of the worst kind if I tell any of this, they would be horrified and disgusted for the monster I am. I can't be a Priest because I'm already unfit for the job and I don't want anyone to fall out of the Lord's path because of me.

I just plan to pray and fast until I'm completely forgiven, and if I collapsed and died exhausted, then at least I'll die doing what the Lord would like me to do.

>>745393

What do you mean?

>>745406

You need to forgive yourself for sinning, too, just like you need to forgive others.

Pray for the three theological virtues of faith, hope and charity which give justification. Pray the rosary daily. Never despair, know that God can turn anyone into a saint. Go to confession if you haven't. Blessed advent.

Hi OP, I too struggle greatly with sadistic/violent sexual urges that I’ve had since youth. Not sure what caused them or why (tho suspect it’s confusion from being raised in a household matriarchy)

I strayed from Christianity for 10 years until a few years ago, and now my faith is the most important thing in my life. I go to church twice a week, read the bible every day, and attend theology classes.

I still struggle with the urges, but I’ve mostly (outside of lapses every few months) broken away from the pornography - a big step from viewing it every day.

It helped to sell my ps4 and stop playing violent video games and watching violent movies. But the real trick is to defeat the thoughts in your mind. When they come, immediately pray for Jesus to drive them away, prpfess that they’re not real. Read psalms out loud.

Train your subconscious to always think “I love Jesus.” For me, when I have melodies stuck on my head, I mentally sing “I love God, I love Jesus so much” along to them. Also read at least one chapter of the bible every day, preferably right when you wake up or go to bed.

Finally be patient, and thank God that he will complete this work in you on his timing. It takes a long time, you will fall at times, but as long as you pray and repent God will forgive you.

Hope this is helpful anon. I’ll pray for ya (pray for me too!)

>>745442

Thanks for the kind words.

Failed step number one, so I took a whip, hit myself and have a very open wound in my back. Can't call ambulance because I have a "family" reunion tomorrow. Merry Christmas.

>>745238

Well…

>Catholic/Orthodox perspective only

<youre not beating yourself hard enough

I really don't know anon but I hope you can find someone in your life that can show you love and soften your heart, it's through examples of human love that we can begin to understand God's love for us. There's only so much to say over the internet so I'd encourage you to start attending Mass/Liturgy regularly if you're not already and to not be afraid to talk this over with a priest or a trusted person. Priests aren't psychologists but since this is clearly impacting the spiritual they should be there for you. The worst thing you can be is alone, so if you get thoughts like those try to get yourself to a church. Most should be open all day and you can just sit with God and try to find some peace. You should try to see an actual doctor as well if you can.

>>745406

>I just plan to pray and fast until I'm completely forgiven, and if I collapsed and died exhausted, then at least I'll die doing what the Lord would like me to do.

You don't need to do anything to receive God's mercy other than repenting and asking for it. If you're confirmed and practicing go to confession, if not perform an act of contrition. State your sins, ask for God's forgiveness, and resolve to not repeat them again. If you stumble again, pick yourself up and try again. God would rather see you stumbling towards him than sitting in place.

First, understand that you are not alone. Original sin did a number on us. Humanity is capable of far worse than what you tempted with. Far more people deal with these urges than will admit it. I myself do. While I can only really speak from experience, i have a few methods.

First is moving meditation on the word. Select a scripture. Something from Psalms, Proverbs, or even Job or Habbakuk. Learn it in English, Latin, and Hebrew. Then find something physical to do, something mindless that leaves you free to think. Focus on the scripture, think of all interpretations you can and meditate on it. Do this whenever you can. It's an exercise in self-control.

Second, confess. I cannot tell you how much this helps me. The original meaning of temperance is egkrateia. Inner mastery. You must understand that you are your own enemy. You cannot succeed alone. You always lose against an enemy that can read your mind. You need a judge who does not have anything to gain by giving in.

Finally. Accept that you will fail. If you do not, that failure will destroy you. Instead, when you stumble, get back up. When you fall, say, "you win this round" and prepare for the next. Not because you want to, but because your Lord has commanded you.

I will pray for you, and hopefully others will too.

>>745766

They're the only valid religions.

No sane and rational person wants to be a loud and obnoxious Charistmatic, a grass eating Adventist, a conspiracist theorist Evangelical, a close minded Puritan or a convulsing Pentecostal.

I want to be a man of God, not a loon.

>>745776

This is exactly my problem. Thanks.

>>745779

You too.

>>745238

#1 Read the Bible.

#2 Read Aldous Huxley's Perennial Philosophy, but disregard the pagan parts

#3 Do NOT, I repeat, DO NOT fall for any of the self help books/personalities on youtube (JBP 4example).

#4 Find yourself a good priest.

#5 Find yourself a good therapist (very hard to do, because most of them are left leaning and literally thing morality is subjective and relative)

#6 Get into a christian community and participate. This can be a class that you are all attending, you can do charity, etc. Make contact and befriend people. Very important. All of the above points are worthless without this!!!

#7 Pray, and find reasons to give thanks to Jesus. Look at your life and find all the things you are grateful for and get into that feeling of pure, gratitude and surrender yourself to Jesus. Whenever you see something nice, give thanks to Jesus. Get into the habit of being grateful.

And now further questions to you:

Are you gay?

Did you ever have a gay experience? Did you like it?

How much do you masturbate? Do you watch porn? If yes what genres? After satisfying your adistic urges do you feel satisfaction or do you feel bad?

>>745825

I once had gay thoughts. But I've never watched or practiced homosexuality. I first started masturbating as young as 5 (not in the way you think, I had phimosis (fixed) so I had other methods to do it).

I tried seducing my cousin when she was 5 and I was 9 but didn't act on it. I did it again at age 17 but she was deeply uncomfortable and embarrassed, I also snapped out of it and felt ashamed, since then I never talked to her in any family reunion (which I have to go tomorrow, she is 16 now). I felt like I don't deserve to feel happy again and need to be locked away.

>>745825

Also my sex drive is innactive since I was 13.

>>745825

Also forgot to answer, yes I feel satisfied, not sexually but because I believe I deserve it. My genres used to be rape, voyeur, public sex, ss, lesbian hardcore, misogyny, abuse, brother/sister and gore.

I also enjoyed animal abuse (non-sexual and did not masterb8).

>>745816

Your forgot the most important one from your list

>no sane person wants mindless legalism while performing physical rituals and expecting spiritual changes all while looking down the nose at those who realize most of it is man made and does nothing

<Then thank God I dont follow those "religions", I follow the living God and his word

>>745825

I'm calling you out for blatently grooming op.

Youre not a priest, you can't absolve sins, and yet you are asking for his entire sexual history, asking whether he gets pleasure from sexual deviancy, asking what genres of porn he watches.

You're getting off on this shit and you're not even being subtle about it. Also suggesting the "The Perennial Philosophy"? Are you serious, where do you think you are?

>>745841

>>745842

>>745845

Thanks for your answers OP.

Given that you are not an actual homosexual, there is much hope for you. The incestous instincts are worrysome, but thankfully you didn't end up acting them out, which is a good thing.

What you have to do now, is to slowly fix yourself up.

Get a job if you don't have one and hold it, participate in a chrisitan community, and practice forgiveness and charity. You should slowly learn disinterested charity and love, meaning that you practice them without expecting anything in return.

Another important part on this journey is to cut back on your ego. I'm not saying this to you because you seem especially egocentric(you don't), I'm saying this to everyone.

Another important thing to learn is to practice morality for it's own sake or for the glory of Jesus. If you practice morality to put yourself above other people, you will end up being a pharisee. This is very hard to do, because we have a habit of using morality to shield ourselves from the filth of sinners, even though we ourselves will have filth as well.

>>745984

>Youre not a priest, you can't absolve sins

But I can ask questions and he is free to answer.

>You're getting off on this shit and you're not even being subtle about it

Baseless accusations, nothing more. It's probably you who would get off on this and you're projecting.

>Also suggesting the "The Perennial Philosophy"? Are you serious,

Yes I'm serious, it's a great book. So is Harry Potter. I also told him to take it with a grain of salt.

>where do you think you are?

On a public discussion forum.