When I was a kid, I was always kept to a high standard. But having a broken family fucked me up permanently. Instead of thinking about having fun, hanging out with friends and talk to girls, I spent my time thinking about how shitty my family was and how I wish I were in any other family but mine.
Living with a single mother and an older sister left me sexually crippled as I was ridiculed and scorned for every single hint of sexuality. My sister also used to beat me and we didn't get along so I didn't talk to girls at all.
In highschool I was troubled by existential thoughts. Nothing made sense to me, I felt like I was trapped in this reality. I found out about Nietzsche and read all his books which made me a little less existentially troubled. Then I started drinking and doing a lot of drugs.
Nowdays I'm a wreck. I'm studying mathematics, my best friend is an art student who smokes 50$ of weed per day and drinks like hell, my mind is broken from drug use and I can barely get up in the morning without chugging large amounts of caffeine. I don't have anything to life for, I hate my family but don't have money to move out.
I had a girlfriend once I loved very much. She was my world, my motivation for living. She started using opiates and cheated with her dope dealer. I have never been that broken in my awesome life and I haven't been the same since.
I've tried to do something creative a few times, learned to play guitar and piano, had a few bands, started producing electronic music but I was never good enough at anything. I was always mediocre.
That's about it.
I hate my fucking life.