/ausneets/ - Aus NEETs

>>314407

I got the chicken yiros early this morning and it was quite nice

POSSUM YOU BOONG

S

H

Goodnight all.

Keep slandering him.

>>314417

Good night

The yiros has been ordered

>>314417

Good night.

>>314419

I look forward to a picture of it.

horny

>>314422

Will you wank?

>>314423

perhaps

Monk failed to deliver again this evening.

>>314422

look at some bum rashes

>>314425

he shood be expelled from teh council

>>314427

replaced by Shitey

>>314427

It will only take a bulge pic for you wankwhores to allow him back

Coveted bumrash

CARMEN SANDIEGO

>>314431

thou shalt not covet thy fellow neetposter's bumrash

WHO FRAMED ROGER RABBIT?

LEN KABASINSKI

DEREK SAVAGE

LACTOSE INTOLERANCE

COELIAC DISEASE

CHICKEN STOCK

QUEEEEEEEEEEEENSLAND

>>314439

Huey?

>>314441

HUEY LEWIS

>>314441

>>314442

Probably more like Baby Huey.

>>314442

>>314443

If anyone watched Huey's Kitchen, he always used to go on about chicken stock. I guess I am the boomer now.

>>314444

I HONESTLY FORGOT THAT CUNT EXISTED. IS HE STILL WORKING?

>>314445

I do not know.

>>314444

I watched Huey's Kitchen and his other shows too. I remember him from the Healthy Wealthy and Wise days as well. And the Full Frontal parodies.

>>314445

He has a YouTube channel, Huey's dinners for one or something like that.

WHIRLYBIRD

JUSTINE SCHOFIELD

>>314444

Huey used to pour that chicken stock into everything because they sponsored the show. It was product placement.

CHICKEN STOCK IS THE BEST STOCK

use your inside voice, neet

>>314452

Most of them don't even use real chicken. If you look closely they usually say "chicken flavoured" stock. Some of them are suitable for vegetarians.

>>314454

THAT'S WHY I ONLY BUY CERTAIN BRANDS, THAT SHIT SHOULDN'T BE ALLOWED

>>314455

Are you angry?

>>314456

NO, WHY WOULD YOU THINK THAT?

MARK LATHAM

Tonight’s delivery driver is Srikanth

He’s taking forever to pick up the order

>>314459

I hope your bag is sealed tight.

>>314461

you're not the only man with wanking needs

SOMEONE NEEDS TO SLAP MY BALLS

MY SCROTUM IS TOO LARGE

SCROTUM REDUCTION THERAPY

>>314465

NICE MUSTACHE

GOOD NIGHT NEETS, I MIGHT WAKE UP AROUND 2 AM FOR MY WALK AND THEN SPAM ON THE BOARD WHILE EVERYONE ELSE IS ASLEEP

>>314469

good night loud neet

>>314469

Good night. Don't spam. Have a good hard look at the way you are behaving here.

>>314471

WHAT'S WRONG WITH MY BEHAVIOUR?

>>314474

Enjoy it mate.

SHREDDED THIRTEEN TIMES OUT OF ELEVEN

>>314475

Thanks

>>314474

Looks decedent.

>>314478

It would be scary if it was alive.

I AM OVERFLOW UNDERTOE SHOTS LICKED

>>314478

It was delicious and so was the donut. My executive cravings for food are returning. I might order some donuts from Daniel’s Donuts now

Ordered six fresh cream & jam donuts ETA 10:50

>>314482

Yum.

Mohd Firdaus B will be delivering my food this time

>>314481

>It was delicious and so was the donut.

I bet. Semi-rural living is a blessing and a curse. I think I would eat more junk food if I lived closer to the city.

>>314484

You should walk to the place you order food more often.

>comfy /nightwalk/ feels

>Exercise

>Won't be supporting Rajesh

>Direct customer service, develop relations with said business.

>>314487

Eat them all in one go. You must surpass executive status and become the Nurgle King.

>>314487

God fucking dammit Shitey. They look so fucking good

Might have to head over to the local bakery tomorrow.

>>314490

How much does ubereats charge for the service?

>>314487

you gluttonous boong

>>314490

Lewd

>>314487

CREAME FILLED BOONGHOLE

Rather slow night on the gen for a friday.

>>314495

most neets go to bed at a respectable hour these days

>>314491

Depends on the distance, usually between 3 to six dollars

The wage begins at 6am tomorrow and ends at 2pm

>>314498

I'll need to do some maths to work out if that's cheaper if I ever order delivery again. I don't plan to though since I'm trying to eat healthy now.

>>314497

Welcome back

Also me and shitey still live in Melbourne

Deflowering story coming this weekend, just had round 2

>>314410

I hope this hasn't cured the rash.

>>314437

>>314438

Complex poos.

>>314457

>>314458

>>314460

Fucking sick of what Bourgeoisie do UNNA

>>314472

>>314471

>>314464

>>314490

>>314487

Good Lord above those look good.

>>314497

Welcome home.

>Finally caught up with all the posts I've missed

Excellent work.

Doggo woke me early. Crying and then barking to be let out to do a vile/evil liquid poo. We were quiet but the dog next door sensed us in the dark and started its barking. 3:30am very loud barking not good at all. That guy next door really needs to do something.

No NK Dans post last night.

>Slandered Edition

Come the fuck on, your insincerity knows no bounds.

I had a big food and just awoke from my food coma

>tfw refreshed

Having a cup of tea.

>>314369

Holy fuck. That's a hell of a lot of power.

Dad took me to see those a few times as a kid.

>>314401

Hmm.

Asking the real questions.

>>314512

Your guilty conscience probably woke you up.

>>314514

>>314515

>>314516

Yum.

>>314425

I know. As expected.

>>314518

The pursed lips penetrating my mind.

>>314519

When done right it's very nice.

>>314374

heh

>>314428

He has the bigger bulge anyhow.

>>314378

Awesome. All the hot coal coming out's a bit dangerous. It's heaps bigger than an average tractor.

>>314512

>had a big food

What did you have?

>>314443

Peculiar reference.

>>314526

Eggplant masala, mattar mushroom and beef do piaza, a couple naan and a roti and some papadums.

I like to have only a little curry and a lot of rice, then crush a pupadum over the top.

I had a big plate full and misso didn't really like hers so I had most of that plate too. There's still one naan, half the roti and most of the curries left, enough for a few more meals.

>>314381

iktf

>>314528

Sounds nice.

>I like to have only a little curry and a lot of rice

Yes that is how I like to do it too. Rice can be very satisfying in the right circumstances.

>>314474

That is not karage but looks nice.

>>314530

The flavour is strong in curries so it can go a long way, you can use only a couple spoonfuls of curry with a plate of rice. A lot of the time knowing that it would be cheaper to make at home spoils the experience and I don't feel that way if I have it with lots of rice. If I had it in one sitting, it would be $40+ for one meal but spread out it's that for 3-4 meals.

>>314479

lol

>>314482

>fresh

At 10:30 at night?

Who is baking at this time of day?

>>314534

That store is open 24/7.

>>314487

Oh.. OHH

OHHHHHHHHHHHHH

>>314535

I don't think we have anything like that.

There might be an on the run but I doubt they'd be fresh. Although, maybe in an hour's time.

>>314537

There is the pancake kitchen.

>>314490

Oh my God.

>>314538

I bet that would be a depressing scene at the moment.

Drunk teenagers and greasy looking drug dealers

>>314497

Good to have you back mate.

>>314499

That's the best hours, before peak hour while driving and you get some day time after the wage. Webbyworkhours.

>>314540

Maybe Cafe De Vili's would be a more wholesome scene. I have never been to either of them.

>>314501

>Deflowering story coming this weekend

Bullshit, I don't want to hear it now.

>>314543

>Cafe De Vili's

Hmm. They might be open. That would be a more wholesome experience. There would just be night shift wagies coming home.

>>314544

Yes you do.

>>314509

>That guy next door really needs to do something.

You are the other guy next door.

Sorry whippo is still crook.

>>314546

You do.

>>314547

>You are the other guy next door.

What am I meant to do?

Just before I went to sleep a coworker texted me about shift fuck ups that will happen today. I planned on calling her back after tea but fell asleep.

It wasn't her fault and she probably ended up crying, there was a 10 hour shift that was thrown on her for tomorrow and no one wants to work it because we have paid training tomorrow. The other coworker knew about it at least a few days ago and didn't put it in the roster. The EAP called her the dragon in the building, she has refused to speak with the EAP. The boss apparently told the shrink that the coworker calls the shots, even with him.

Unhealthy work practices.

>>314549

What's the other guy meant to do?

>>314550

We all know about your NEET elbow collection and what you use them for.

>>314551

Such a high stress job.

Unfair representation of dumbdumbs

>>314554

It has it's moments.

>>314557

Good morning Shitey. Have a good day.

>>314555

That is how I imagine several of the NEETs.

>>314557

Good morning Chad. Have a pleasant day.

>>314561

Have a big porridge.

>>314563

Good morning.

The world is not all bad.

>>314562

I got no money and no food except protein powder and skim milk. I am trying to get down to 3XL again after my binge blow out.

>>314563

Good morning. Bleak sentiments. Try to find the joyful things in life where you can.

I always enjoyed a milky coffee and a hot bowl of weet-bix for breakfast on a winter morn.

>>314565

Jeez, how'd that happen?

How long until payday?

>>314567

How did what happen? I restrict myself deliberately to try and lose weight. I don't keep abusable foods in the house to tempt me and I keep my money in a bank account I can't access without giving 31 days notice.

>How long until payday?

5 days.

>>314568

That seems a bit over the top/

>>314569

The alternative is being morbidly obese. I have a binge eating disorder.

>>314563

>despair, hopelessness and bleakness

Neets are taking this far too seriously. Maybe all the wageslaving has robbed you of your flippancy. Anyway, I'm going to make a bunch of savory and sweet pancakes for breakfast.

>>314571

There had better be photos of these pancakes.

>>314570

You should probably focus more on control, and set a strict regime of 3 modest meals a day. I don't think the skim milk and protein powder diet is gonna work out.

>>314573

>control, and set a strict regime

I have tried. I always fail. I know the protein powder diet is no good either, but nothing else works. I am fucked. The cravings are so powerful. I can't control my appetite.

>>314570

>>314572

We may need to restrict all food pictures. For your own good.

>>314575

I will find them on my own. Cooking videos on YouTube. Browsing /ck/. I am driven to these behaviours.

>>314574

How long can you go without eating for?

>>314577

That question is a bit vague. It depends on the circumstances.

Second cup of coffee down the hatch. I am going to wait until it is light and then take Doggo for his walk. And then once we are home and he is fed I am going to go back to bed.

I am going to take Doggo for his walk now. He is impatient. Maybe another evil poo to do.

I think I'll try and go to bed again too.

>>314578

Like if you're wanking non-stop around the clock.

>>314510

Very depressing.

>>314576

>driven

*Driving

>>314557

>>314558

>>314560

>>314563

>>314566

Goon morning.

>>314585

Good morning.

>>314565

Wouldn't this diet cause you to balloon back the higher weight even faster?

>>314545

and nightclub kids

>>314588

He was an angry, failure of a man.

>>314557

>>314558

>>314560

>>314563

>>314564

>>314566

>>314585

>>314586

Good morning all.

Shitey I hope you are doing regular exercise (besides wanking and sexing). As your weight increases your Chad powers will decrease.

It might also be worth adding up how much you are spending on delivered food.

>>314577

I did a week once. I wouldn't recommend it, and neither would doctors.

>>314591

Good morning.

I've been getting stomach pains in the morning for the past few days. It feels like when your stomach is about to rumble but stronger.

It's a bit concerning.

>>314594

Is it a big poo incoming warning?

>>314595

I don't think so. I'm having a couple pies now and feel a bit better but I'm normally fine to just have one meal a day and pretty much never have breakfast.

Doggo and I are back. He did an evil poo right in the middle of the driveway on our way out and then another one in the middle of the road on our way home. Pure evil liquid.

It was very cold out there. Can't wait for this awful winter to be over.

Maybe I have worms.

>>314581

Rest well.

>>314599

I am still up, I think I am past the point of being able to go back to sleep.

>>314585

Good morning.

rat dog squirts

>>314587

I don't know. Maybe. But I was ballooning at maximum rate anyway.

>>314591

Good morning.

>>314600

I am going to have to wait an hour or so to go back to bed because the walk invigorated me and I will not be able to sleep right away.

>>314602

>rat dog

I hope that was not a sincere remark.

>>314605

In an hour it will be well and truly day time.

Might get a haircut this morning.

>>314608

Get braids.

>>314608

Get a fade

Finally figured out the American, i think she does like me but isn't in the right head space for fucking and relationships. She went through a rough patch of depression and also got cheated on, now shes trying to live healthy and do outdoors stuff. Told her i never had a GF there was an awkward 10 second silence afterwards. Finally broke my two week no wank streak, blew the biggest load ever and still had a wet dream in the morning.

>>314611

hot

>>314611

>i think she does like me

>Told her i never had a GF there was an awkward 10 second silence afterwards

you probably changed her mind right there

>>314607

NEET Life.

>>314613

I dont see why.

>>314609

I think we should make pigtails the new official neet haircut style.

Wonder how he explained the sticky sleeping bag?

>>314616

Handlebars.

>>314613

>Told her i never had a GF

I don't think that's a very good thing to tell women. Fake it til you make it.

>>314619

They are friends though, it's not just a bin orgy.

>>314617

Very nearly had a sticky bag with the explosive wank i had.

>>314558

>>314560

>>314563

>>314564

>>314585

>>314586

>>314591

>>314593

>>314601

>>314604

Good morning

>>314591

I walked to work today and spent about $50 on delivered food last night

>>314623

>spent about $50 on delivered food last night

That's not sustainable mate.

>>314621

She didn't notice? What do you use as a rag?

>>314622

Good morning again.

>>314625

I came in her hair, just told her it was shampoo

>>314627

There's your mistake. You need to start jizzing into her shampoo bottle instead.

>>314598

Stick a finger up there and find out.

>>314597

What is he eating that is bad? Lizards and bugs?

I recently stopped going to a butcher as they were selling old meat that resulted in very evil poos. They were trying to save a few bucks by selling it on instead of throwing it out.

>>314629

Or just take a picture and post it here, where our highly trained team of neet doctors will diagnose you. Be sure to stretch the orifice fully so we can get a clear view.

>>314628

Real NEET knowledge here.

>>314631

It will be a bulk billed as a Telehealth appointment.

>tfw wondering if those pillows have changed colour yet

>>314634

My pillows have gotten a bit yellow

>>314624

The executive lifestyle was never intended to be sustainable

>>314637

An honourable death.

>>314639

…nice, haven't seen animated gif dan before

Are cats literally the neets of the backyard, living off the hard work of canines?

you know the thing i like most about weekends as a wagie? having to spend at least two thirds of one of those days doing chores

>>314640

You'll learn the way of Dan soon.

>>314642

Wanking is a very long chore.

>>314642

There there, in less than 40 hours you get to go back to Mr Shekelstein's slave pits.

Hiding in her bedroom from her house mates

Got breakfast in bed.

Listening to Michael Buble now

>>314647

Are you having a beautiful day?

>>314648

Kek

Yes, perfect

I had a sleep, now I feel like shit.

>>314650

It's time to eat.

>>314651

Hmm. You may be right.

>>314654

morning

>>314654

The usage of deepfake technology is growing more and more disturbing.

>>314654

Good morning

>>314656

That was just a Nuro selfie

>>314655

very hungover cant remember shit… loooks like i got home with all my possessions intact

>>314656

hasnt got shit on a motivated anon with NK's Big Boong Magic RAPE Pills UNNAes and photoshop

>>314659

i feel like the word filter is akin to assault… its very jarring on the mind

>>314658

Nuro has accidentally posted a pic of his face before, it was in a reflection.

>>314661

bound to happen eventually with all my drunk OC

>>314661

This is intriguing.

>>314662

It is like reading a book, then going to see the movie knowing full well one of the main characters will look completely different than anticipated.

>>314588

looks like the Smash Mouth guy

>>314642

that's why you live like a boong

>>314665

I do not. This thread is for slandering Possum, not me.

Got my hairbut, some groceries, and a small quantity of alcohol.

>>314667

No I meant that is why you should live like a boong

Boongs aren't weighed down by chores

>>314668

i too got a a haircut and groceries and small quantity of alchol yesterday

good boy

>>314674

How would you describe it?

>>314674

>2L

>>314675

Hangover Proof

>>314676

all 4l goon is trash and you know it

>>314678

all goon is good goon after the first litre has entered you

>>314679

until the next day… i got some hardys 3l sav blanc the other week and felt like i hot by a truck…

>>314662

>>314664

>looks like the Smash Mouth guy

Is this true??? I didn't see that coming

>>314682

no im more a christain slater type

>>314683

I always knew you were a secret Chad

>>314683

you're like that dirty gay pirate guy

johnny derpp or whatever his name is

>>314686

Is he in Happy Porter?

>>314688

It's actually against NEET law to point out reflections now

>>314689

yep that fall under doxxing regulations i beleive

>>314683

he plays a smelly slob in Mr Robot

>>314689

you also cant put knives and forks in your penis

>>314668

>hairbut

>>314692

You can put it into power points

https://efukt.com/196_The_Love_Plug.html

>>314692

i bet there is a wikihow for that

>>314692

they won't let us have any fun

>>314694

worryingly simple

>>314697

Yaaaaaahhhhhhh

Thoughts on 'peach ice tea' IPA?

local brewer just brought out one. Might go try it.

>>314697

apart from the whole wrapping your dick in alfoil and then shaping two prongs that line up exactly with the outlet bit

>>314699

There's only one way to find out. Try one before buying a six pack or whatever.

>>314700

excellent choices

>>314630

He eats grass and plants. I hope that is what is responsible.

>>314638

Wouldn't look too honourable when they have to knock down a wall of your house to bring you out by forklift.

>>314647

>Michael Buble

Reasonable choice.

>>314650

Same.

>>314654

Good morning Nuro.

>>314706

They would simply rename the hole in the wall to "Executive Exit"

>>314700

Yum.

>>314005

This is our boy Nuro here. It is probably an older photo before his fingers became quite so well-fed.

>>314712

what a wicked cool dude

I am an idiot.

1 hour and 25 minutes left

>>314704

>>314716

Fuck off. I'm not sharing.

>>314713

I bet he could hang out with the local teenagers.

>>314662

I deleted it.

>>314714

what did you do?

>>314700

All for free.

>>314706

>>314710

And he would get NDIS funding to install a ramp for that entrance.

Gay NEET are you going to see that escort this weekend?

Went to pick up a cabinet for misso. Stressful bullshit. Had to go get money and didn't know if the mirror could come off. Went through a traincrossing and got pinged.. I think.

The seller was a born again christian, she said praise the lord multiple times and about how she used to be on heroin and ice.

Nice enough chick but what the fuck.

>>314723

Looks like we can conclude he has a long rectangular head

>>314720

I was going to jack up my car and check the bolts had stayed tight after last week's muffler replacement.

I started jacking it and once it got close to height I pushed one of the jack stands up against the skirt of the car to see how much more it needed to go up.

Then I noticed one of the wheels on the hydraulic jack had lifted off the ground.

So without thinking I relesased the hydraulic jack, forgetting the jack stand was by the skirt.

The jackstand has basically punched a hole on the left skirt when the car dropped onto it.

>>314727

I am sorry to hear that has happened to you Weber. Is it something that you will need to have professionally fixed?

>>314725

And now she's cut down to just meth and goon?

>>314724

No, putting that on hold for now. Not feeling well after catching a cold and after the last of the escort who stop communicating with me with me was a bit jarring. Ironically the profile on their website says they are available right now, but I have had too many wanks today and not feeling in the right shape of mind.

>>314728

Yes, I'll have to see a panel beater. There was a small dent on the other side on the wheel arch where somebody had run a shopping trolley into it, so I'll get everything fixed.

I was going to sell it soon, so these repairs will cut into whatever money I was going to get for it.

>>314725

>Nice enough chick but what the fuck.

It gives her a purpose and as long as it keeps her straight, good luck to her.

>>314724

Please don't use the Gen for monetary gain.

>>314731

What are you thinking of buying to replace it once its sold?

>>314731

What are you looking to buy next?

>>314727

Give me a look at your muffler so I can hydraulic jack your hole under your skirt.

>>314732

I agree. Very negative remarks from Cruisey earlier.

Have finished all my tasks at work and am now sitting around doing nothing

1 hour and 5 minutes

>>314737

It would be confronting for most people, it would probably leave an impact on me tbh

>>314739

>>314738

Are you seeing Ho Chi Minh today?

>>314741

Yes I am

>>314734

>>314735

I don't know yet. Something nice that says maybe I am not the loser I look like I am.

>>314742

Is she going to cook for you?

>>314737

Mother fucker.

I deal the slander, I don't receive it.

>>314742

Did you get her off last time?

>>314743

Oh mate, you will just look like a loser who is trying to pretend he isn't one. I don't mean to be rude but that is how it works.

Hot Chick Minhge

>>314745

You slandered yourself with your negativity.

>>314748

impressive

I'm off to face the day, hope your day starts running a bit better Westerino.

>>314743

>maybe I am not the loser I look like I am.

I am going to have to now have a long think about my >tfw post tonight.

Websterino*

>>314750

Yeah, I know. I'm pretty good.

>>314751

…

>>314744

>>314746

Yes

>>314756

That's basically what I did. Packed everything away and came inside and started drinking.

>>314757

Good boy.

>>314757

Are you going to take some intimate photos for us this time?

Shire I need to book the car in for a 6 monthly service at the stealership and my car has a urgent recall notice out on it. Can they do both at the same time, am I asking too much?

>>314761

I am not Shire, but you would probably be better off phoning and asking the dealership than someone on the internet.

>>314761

Is it the airbag?

>>314764

Just six double JD and dry cans. If I still feel bad then I have a few bottles of scotch and a bottle of port.

>>314762

I rang them, a man answered and told me to ring up on Monday to book it.

>>314763

A software issue related to the airbag.

>>314736

smooth

I'm meant to visit my grandmother today but I have a case of the shits. I'm hoping I can get it all out before I have to leave.

>>314767

>tfw I have a long journey to become a smooth operator

>>314769

Bring a towel, a spare set of clothes and a garbage bag.

>>314771

Hot. What a night you'd have.

Andre the giant once had to take a shit on a plane and couldn't fit inside the toilet cubicle so a stewardess had to hold a garbage bag for him to shit into.

>>314774

I've got 150ml of sniff right here, I'll take her and her 18 sisters.

>>314775

weber in another 5-10kg

>>314775

>>314773

>>314775

>>314636

>>314777

What is webby at the moment?

>>314777

Cruel and unnecessary. Absolute slander.

Do we have a boong happy merchant?

>>314782

>>289851

>>314785

>150 mls?

That's for a quick 15 minute session, oral only.

>>314786

Those big fat chips look good.

they dont drink the sniff you dumb dumbs

I think I have cleared the shit out but I'm not sure. I'm thinking of calling my grandmother and letting her know I won't be visiting. I need to get it over with so I may as well go I guess.

I'm going to have a shave and get ready, I'll see how I feel and decide then.

>>314789

they sniff the sniff you dumb dumb

I can now deadlift 120kg for five reps. I'm going to try to squat 110kg tonight. Still on a linear progression. We will see how it goes. Hope I don't get the shits at the gym.

>>314791

>>314789

It's also a good mouth wash

>>314792

Well done mate. You are doing good. Take some shirtless photos for gay neet.

>>314794

I've gotten a little pudgy due to the bulking. It is mostly in my legs/back too, my arms are lagging a bit.

>>314768

embracing transexuality may be our only hope of having some white women in our communal pool

>>314786