/ausneets/ - Aus NEETs

WESTERN AUSTRALIA BEST AUSTRALIA

I bet bin raiding neet has eaten Fancy Feast before

>>281939

Get fucked cunt no i haven't, are you new?

Tear and shares with spicy sambel sauce, you degenerate

GOON NIGHT

𓆏 𓂺𓆏 𓂺𓆏 𓂺𓆏 𓂺𓆏 𓂺𓆏 𓂺𓆏 𓂺𓆏 𓂺𓆏 𓂺𓆏 𓂺𓆏 𓂺𓆏 𓂺𓆏 𓂺𓆏 𓂺𓆏 𓂺𓆏 𓂺𓆏 𓂺

>>281926

have a steak wank

>>281938

Vile

FREE SETTLERS BEST SETTLERS

A wanked poo or a gooned wank?

Need an asian girlfriend lads

i want a mick gf

Have absolutely no idea what any of my neighbours names are

Such is life in modern society

A lonely as fuck existence

>>281960

Bake some anzac biscuits and offer them to your neighbours as a peace greeting.

Or you could throw a BBQ.

How long have you been living in that area for?

>>281961

That'd be weird as fuck

Theres this one bloke whos a bit of a sick cunt, I reckon hes on DSP or cenno, always says hi to me if im out smoking a durry, sometimes see him carrying a slab down to his flat, not a bad bloke, walks his dog and all that

The other neighbours I get real bad vibes from, it was a bit better when the misso was living with me but since then I've just become the neighborhood deadshit

>>281962

>That'd be weird as fuck

Depends where you live I guess.

That one bloke sounds alright.

I reckon I'll sleep now. Night Night NEETs.

Gonna go to mummybots i reckon and beg for help

Impeccable taste

May the wanklord bless you, cunnos

I love those thick Indian thighs, tummies and tittites

God they get my socks off

Its such a natural and sexy look, I don't know how to explain it

I fuckin love poojeetas they are so hot

Is this spam or have we acquired a "share your porn folder" autistic ?

Oh, it's monk

Fuck you nigger, you want to fall apart go right ahead, I've sure as fuck run out of sympathy

>>281996

Wtf weber?

I know you and no one else gives a fuck about me, at least let me share my porn ya fuckwit

I'm not hurting anyone except myself

>>281997

That wasn't me, brosef. I just got up.

Sorry for having a go at you last night.

>>281998

Wifey or whatever her name is, isn't bad. Tend to see her covered in sploodge a lot.

>>281998

Sorry for calling you a dhcp robot, we both know you do a lot more than that. Regardless AD objects just feel so gay, I reckon every enterprise should adopt G Suite anyway

Yeah wifey aint bad, she does some great facials.

You wake up at an admiral hour ya know

Morning neets, how are we on this fine morning

>>281997

I care about you

>>281995

Did you miss the council meeting

>>282001

Wishing an attention whoring fuckwit hadn't turned the thread into /b/

>>282004

Excuse me cunt?

>>281998

This is the kindness shinning through.

>>282004

This isn't /b/

Cruisey is a good cunt unlike disomnia

What do you have planned NEET

Let's all be happy

Today's Gunna be the day

>>282000

A G suite sounds like a bodysuit NK would wear so he can go around stealth raping

>>282011

I like that Dan posting is on the rise again

It was receeding and I was starting to miss that Irish Jew Merchant

>>282009

Hold in those wanks mate, you're Gunna need them for when NK rocks up in his G Suite

Also lol NK auto corrects to no, which means yes which means anal

>>282014

Very true…

>>282013

Sorry Dan you're too far and my car broke but I still buy golden oak from your sister BWS

Posting the irishman is a sign of the irish dependence in your life, like mine

>>282017

What does Craig posting imply

Morning birds are insanely loud and interrupting my wank

>>282020

Wank to them.

>>282021

You reminded me of a one of my old classmates, who watched birds fucking

The absolute fucker somehow ended up married without a kid before all of us, crazy since I thought he was gay

Wanking to italian rimjob videos

>>282023

This is a half lie, Craig will attempt to rape you a lot, more so than Dan but his cock is so small that it doesn't even reach in the bum

>>282024

Piccante!

>>282022

>who watched birds fucking

>>282026

>>282027

I wonder how smoking about is doing right now

I miss Tony

They're gonna disconnect my electricity on the 21st

>>282033

Ask Weber for money

>>282022

Did I say without a kid, lol I meant to say with a kid

>>282034

There are no bail outs in a

W A N K R U P T C Y

>>282035

He'll probably teach his child to learn to love birds to.

Get to the medical centre 30 minutes before opening and there are already half a dozen cunts lined up.

>>282033

Can’t disconnect it if they can’t open the box…

>>282037

>Hey son it's time I tell you about the birds and the bees

>And how it's hip to fuck them

>>282038

Gimme a racial breakdown

How many boongs are there

>>282041

None yet. Just poor white people.

>>282038

Why do you need to see Dr Pajeet so early?

>>282036

Spare him a wank or two cuz

>>282039

They'll probably just get a lock smith around after giving you a notice to unlock it then charge double their rate in administrative fees

>>282043

I was wanking very hard last night and my dick fell off

>>282043

Because the wog I picked up from that bus trip has spread to my chest and I’m an asthmatic. Also by getting a sick certificate for the last couple of days I can get some annual leave refunded

>>282045

Fucking locksmiths, I locked myself out once and then got set back 300 fucking dollars

>>282047

>Also by getting a sick certificate for the last couple of days I can get some annual leave refunded

You're going to have to be pretty tough on Dr Pajeet. A lot of doctors wont go more than 1 day back from the current day for medical certificates in my experience unless you have seen them before the current appointment while sick.

>>282049

Oh ok. The usual Dr Cutie Poojeeta is fairly kind to me, so we’ll see what happens.

>>282050

>It's monk having a fake sickie again episode

>>282048

If you want it done pretty urgently they will do that. It is best to say it is not urgent and for them to come when they can to avoid them stacking on the fees. They will still charge you through the nose though

>>282050

That's a bit different. Good luck.

>>282053

I was locked outside with a hangover with no carkeys it needed to be urgent

>>282052

I vote we lay off Monk this weekend. I was pretty mean to him last night.

>>282055

I vote that he should move in with Weber and learn tough love

Weber will whip that bumhole into shape

>>282056

Next minute Weber is eating tear n shares and telling work to get rooted

>>282057

And showing Dr Cutie Poojeeta his new rash

>>282058

>Hey poojetta check out this bum gash

<Very impressive, take my curry funny now

>tfw no mummybot gf

>>282059

Nothing funny about curry cunny

If they cut my power off I'm genuinely gonna walk into AGL headquarters and rape the closest Asian milf

>>282062

I think they call this premeditated

>>282063

I thought that's when you take 200mg of Seroquel before the rape

>>282062

Why didn't you pay it ya boong

>>282065

I was gonna put it on a plan like usual

I've got like 220 bucks to my name though so I'm bringing it down to the wire

>>282066

How much can the bank of mum and dad loan out

>>282066

have you contacted them and told them your having trouble paying your bill? you should at the very least get an extension on the due date

>>282068

It sounds like the cut off date is part an extension. Paid it by or lose it.

>>281960

Say hello to them.

Been listening to the same song for 16 hours

>>282072

Drop, Too Fast, Drop, Too Furious, I'm Too FAST FO YAAA@LL

>>282071

yes i saw girl gods

>>281905

>tfw NK can access customer addresses

>>282075

Close enough to what I saw.

>>282076

Hasn't this always been the case?

Ah, what the fuck.

Horny NEETs last night could work out how to spoiler.

>>281984

I see monk got into the NK's Big Boong Magic RAPE Pills UNNAes again

>>282080

Oath cunt

Check out the delicious cellulite on those hips and titties

Isnt she a wonder

>>281995

Pretty sure it's just monk being a mong cunt.

Might've got back on the meth.

>>282082

>>282055

IS WEBER THE CUNT THAT DOES THE DOUBLE QUOTES

WOW

There have been hate crimes committed against our elder NEETs.

>>282084

>>282021

>>282086

https://efukt.com/22834_Why_Is_This_Even_A_Thing.html

>>281914

>buy mummybot a potted plant for her birthday

you're a good boy.

>>281926

Nicely done. Now that you've touched it with those hands, no one would want it back.

I got some of that jerky the other day, not bad.

>>282083

Next week we should put monaro and hobo in the pit.

I SEE YOU DRIVIN ROUND TOWN WITH THE GIRL I LOVE AND IM LIKE

WELL FUCK YOU

>>281993

I like some of them but they all have a bit of a chubby belly. It's ok but. I dunno, not my thing.

Its a bit past 9 and I'm shit faced

Unique feel

>>281997

I care about you.

I mean it in the sincerest and kindest way possible, get your fucking shit together.

>>282093

Unique means it is a first.

This isn't a first.

>>282004

wew

>>282007

Naw.

>>282022

Wanking to birds is not gay.

>>282073

Good morning beautiful.

>>282100

Good morning.

Please say something similar to our other beautiful NEETs.

Need an asian woman to come over and eat my ass

Put some bait out in the bumbleverse, see if we get any bites

>>282103

I've already visited you

I need a real woman now

Free Gin tasting at P.A.L.S. today Webby.

P.A.L.S. destroys the Irish cunt and the meth boong.

>>282102

I'll stick something up your bumbleverse.

>>282105

Pauls IGA also does tastings today

>>282101

Go shit in your hat.

>>282104

>I need a real woman now

https://efukt.com/21931_Gender_Bending_Torso_Attempts_Coitus.html

>>282105

>Free Gin

Isn't that worse a red goon hang over?

>>282109

Her maneuverability is kinda hot

https://www.news.com.au/finance/economy/world-economy/queen-could-be-asked-to-suspend-uk-parliament-as-theresa-may-steps-down-and-brexit-mayhem-kicks-in/news-story/afc08598bb8321d8b3db0c3ac95f3506

You guys see this shit, looks like I'm pro monarchy now

>>282111

¡Un poco caliente!

>>282112

They were saying this a while back as well. Somehow the crisis was adverted for a while.

>>282115

It's honestly the only way to fix Brexit at this point

>>282114

Looks like it is sold out from everywhere except their website. For $100 it seems a bit pricey.

>>282117

It is a very strange situation, I am looking forward to the boomers complaining about a lack of medicine and high price of goods when it does go forward.

>>282079

It's hard to do the * with one hand

>>282116

heh

>>282121

I'd investigate that.

>>282118

It was on the radio that there's a bunch of funny ones like safron and smokey apple and shit.

need to tidy the neet lair today

>>282121

who cares what nurofen thinks about it, you have become one of his orbitors

>>282126

I bet nurofen wouldn't like this post

>>282105

I remember when gin was a term for an aboriginal woman

Dr Cutie Poojeeta gave me the required certificate, plus time off this coming week.

I have bronchitis.

Got a bit mad in the chemist. Walked around for 20 minutes waiting for my script to be filled only to be told they didn't have the antibiotic. Silly woman says "we're getting some more on Wednesday". Then her offsider says "would you like me to check with another chemist?" and I said yes, and then she says "which one?" and I'm like oh I don't know maybe one in Tasmania.

Done the washing, sprayed the weeds, started weeding the garden bed, about to go shopping. Misso got huffy about me saying I need a shower. She goes, I could do the dishes but, then farts.

NEETlyfe is contagious.

>>282128

Grab a gin, cut her hair, break her in.

>>282126

REBECCA GROUPIE

>>282128

Lubra is another word

>>282130

vile

morning neetos extremely hung over but chatted up a girl last night for a few hours and got her number

>>282126

>>282127

i couldn't give a fuck about the AFP or ABC to be honest they are pozzed organisations

>>282135

You awight cuz

Surprised Possum didn't have some kind of aneurysm this morning with all the naked ladies.

7 minutes until I can order more vodka

>>282138

Wind the clock forward.

>>282137

It took me a significant amount of effort to post all them hoes

I hope he appreciates it

>>282140

why did you post all the ugly ones?

>>282141

Just what I was feeling in my momentary horniess

>>282140

"Vile!" he repeats to himself, a piece of garlic bread

in one hand, his hideously empurpled member in the other. "Absolutely vile!"

>>282137

the guy who keeps leaving forevor hasnt come back again to see them

>>282143

pottery

>2x the amount of tax compared to super

It's as if I'm working for NEETs.

>>282133

I haven't heard that in a very long time, I think it is an unna word.

>>282146

thank you for your service

The alcohol delivery man was almost laughing at me receiving my vodka before midday in my trackies with a hardon

40mg of ritalin and 10mg of dexamphetamine down the hatch

>>282150

were they cum stained?

>>282129

>maybe one in Tasmania.

Could medicine be abused in the commune?

>>282150

>trackies with a hardon

hot

Third wank…

Worked today for 5 hours

Time for a volunteer

>>282159

Then time for a wank ?

Having a pornographic image exchange with a nice girl

>tfw left out from pornographic image exchange

Having a tidy up

>>282155

idktf

>>282161

She seems like a wholesome sweetheart.

>>282156

rude

Having a guilty lazy cup noodles session

>>282163

What's that?

>>282169

Butternut pumpkin.

It's got olive oil and salt on it and I'm roasting it, then I'll make it into a soup.

Then I'll cook some gnocci and put the soup over it and then bake it. When it's about done, I'll put some cheese on top.

>>282170

Ah should be good, I thought it was rockmelon or something

>>282171

The camera made it look lighted than it is. It should be ok. I have some cumin seeds I'm going to put in it too.

I got my car back. The timing belt is all done.

Shire, the mechanic says my rocker cover gaskets are leaking and he wants to replace them for $690. He also says my front lower rear control arm bushes are split and he wants to replace them for $495. Does this sound legit?

>>282173

Good to hear you got it back, I think an extra grand isn't worth it.

>>282170

>Butternut pumpkin.

I was going with that or sweet potato but that would have been a lot of sweet potato.

>>282175

I was planning on putting some regular potato in to make up space because I didn't think one was enough pumpkin, I think I'll have too much pumpkin now.

What is a rego light on a car?

>be me 30yo semi-NEET boomer

>be no porn and no fap for 3 weeks feeling confident

>go to Dan Murphy's

>Indian girl is there for the first time in 7 weeks

>she doesn't see me as I walk in so I play it cool and pretend not to see her as I go to the whiskey aisle

>line up at her register behind 2 other people

>we lock eyes

>nothing, stares right through me

>she calls for register assistance

>I go back into my head and panic

>"fuck she hates me doesn't she, fuck I'm retarded"

>bitch out and go to another register

see you in another 7 weeks my poojeeta princess, she's even put on some weight and is right in my thicc zone. I'm the worst.

>>282177

The light above your licence plate, I think/

>>282179

That would make sense.

>>282178

When a NEET is lonesome it is easy for your imagination to run wild and mistake courtesy from female workers as something more than it is.

Remember the fate of the NEET who asked the KFC girl out after he misinterpreted her giving him extra pieces of chicken as romantic interest.

>>282173

That doesn't sound right for the rocker cover gasket, literally like a $20 part and not at all difficult to replace, the suspension components seem a little pricey too.

>>282178

m8 you should have stayed inline and then when she served you you should have given a nice smile and said Hi haven't seen you for awhile how have you been, try next week

>>282183

that was the plan but I anxiety'd out and imagined my jumper smelled like vomit (I haven't thrown up in years)

>>282182

That is concerning to hear.

>be 23yo qt patootie poojeeta

>devout Sikh upbringing

>need moneys to pay for grandma's surgery

>get job in Irish Jew's sin den

>morals bending

>tattooed office wagie gives me dirty looks

>sweat.jpg

>tfw gushing gasmic feel

>ask to be moved to different store to resist temptation

>can't help myself, only last 2 months

>he comes in the first day I'm back

>oh my

>he walks past, maybe he didn't see me

>gets some fancy pants whiskey with his big wagie bux

>comes to my register

>shit fuck, knees buckling

>our eyes meet

>bite lip as stuttering for assistance

>sperg out

>he goes to a different register

see you again my darling ladida wagie, If I can hack it. I'm the worst.

>>282185

Yeah sounds like he might be taking you for a ride, i'd take it to another mechanic and see what they say.

>>282186

kek needed that laugh thanks boong

>>282187

I think I will. This mechanic had good Google reviews but so many of the reviewers don't know anything about cars and wouldn't know if they had been ripped off or not. They just make their review based on the customer service they receive.

Unless he meant head gasket which would justify the price, but it's highly unlikely you have a leaky head gasket, you'd know about it when you drive the car.

>>282189

Yeah, just get a 2nd opinion and go from there, but no way in hell does it cost 600 odd bux to replace a rocker cover gasket.

>be 53yo Sikh daddybot

>raise children in accordance to tradition

>my hair is 7foot long

>god/thing I worship loves me

>mother gets lymphodema

>this is how vishnu or whoever repays my service

>family all must chip in

>daughter must get job

>gets job in white devil alcohol plaza

>shop is bigger than my whole village back in Ramalamadingdong

>daughter starts wearing make up

>find strange internet places in her internet history I only bought for prayer time notifications

>try to line her up with proud uber eats taxi operator

>she has no interest

>concern growing

>black work pants covered in cunnygrool

>CONCERN INTENSIFIES

>creepshots of homeless looking boong in trackpants under matress

>literally hundreds of them

If I ever see you NEET, I'll ring your flaming neck by golly. Should've let Grandma cark it. I'm the worst.

I'd literally replace a rocker cover gasket for a 6 pack of Asahi you supply the gasket though

>>282191

Thanks for your help Shire. I will get a second opinion before getting anything done.

>>282193

If you were in Adelaide I would take you up on that.

Really tempted to move abroad or even interstate and try to find a job, tired of this cycle, how much money would I need to do this?

>>282194

No worries.

>>282196

Probably a couple of grand

Yah. Its raining and i need to do a goon run…

i need my goon it must be done….

>>282200

Goon luck and Goon speed

>>282201

>goon speed

nice one

>>282199

Shire is a very good NEET.

>>282204

Why do chips need a gluten free label and a vegetarian label?

>>282205

To cater for potential customers with special needs.

>>282205

Sales pitch.

>>282206

Maybe /ausneets/ needs that label.

Misso had a missed call from my fucking mother. m

>>282019

I WANT IT I NEED IT

>>282186

I'm considering this cannon in the pajeet chronicles.

>>282192

>>282211

Possum:

BUM BUM

back from goon run…. hopped on the mountain bike for and the bars were 10 degrees to the right…… only then did i remember i had a massive crash last night riding home maggot @3am last night …. lol

im amazed how i switch to autopilot and and just ride 10km and cant remember any of it…. it happens a fair bit XD

>>282210

D A N ' S G R I P

>>282199

he doesnt share gf tips

I tried the new Cadbury's hedgehog block. Not bad compared to the other Cadbury's flavours.

>>282218

what's in it?

Shaved my head, when I had it done I took off the #4 thing and was doing touch ups around my ears and then in a dumbdumb stupor, went to go over my forehead again. It's not that noticeable.

>>282222

#4 is half an inch. Hardly head shaving.

16 degrees today in Shitbourne, wish I had a gf.

>>282223

That's as far as I will go.

Had to plung the shower drain beacuse its was getting cloged up with my cum.

>>282222

> It's not that noticeable.

i saw a guy at the shops who obviously just shaved his own head… the back was totaly patchwork horrorshow i almost burst out laughing it was that bad

>>282220

Almond,roast coconut and biscuit bits

>>282214

you're going to die if you keep that up lol

>>282226

Shower traps are 40-50mm in diameter. That's quite a lot of cum.

>>282222

Start going to a proper barber please

>>282231

Possum got sick for weeks after visiting one of those.

>>282230

Quite an impressive feet

>>282219

Webby, but it would have to be mad cunt.

>>282226

kek

>>282229

i drank two sacks for goon, 300mg of codeine, 10mg valium a spliff and rode 10km and got home safely witchout a scratch on my body….. (this is a standard friday nothing special)

what happened was those stupid yellow curved slow down barriers on the bike track… there is a nasty one in this poorly lit section before a tunnnel underneath the train tracks… my grips are this thick foam rubber and if it catches in the slightest it turns your bars and throws you off your bike…, i ate total shit and me and my bike were seperated by at least 3 meters… no scratches or bruises… iphone tottally ok, BT headphones ok … no clothing torn or ripped

its true what they say about blind drunk people hurting them self less… they roll and dont tense up like sober people in an accident

>>282230

>tfw impressed

>>282236

>i drank two sacks for goon, 300mg of codeine, 10mg valium a spliff and rode 10km

you're probably going to die before I do.

>>282236

>i drank two sacks for goon, 300mg of codeine, 10mg valium a spliff and rode 10km

>>282237

>>282238

So >>282237 ?

>>282236

You're a mad man

>>282232

I think that was posso telling me to.

>>282233

You should see his elbows.

>>282242

Is he trying to make other NEETs ill?

>>282238

ill be fine as long as i avoid a crippling garlic bread addiction… many such cases. SAD

>>282241

nothing special just standard operating proceedure… some NEETs embrace the Hunter S Thompson lifestyle…. i just wish it wasnt so god damn illegal

>>282244

We've shared worse diseases here before.

>>282245

It's the wicked wings that will get him.

>>282246

If it wasn't illegal would it really be as fun?

>>282248

im still not even sure KFC can actually full fill the quantity of wicked wings he ordered … he possibly pre-ordered and fasted before that reckless date with "The Colonial"

>>282249

Yes. It would more fun without the paranoia to be honest… Its only illegal because if NPCs indulged like i do society would stop functioning and there would be a total collapse

>>282251

hmmmmmm your gonna need alot of soy sauce to save that dish Gordon Ramsey

>>282246

In your honest moments you have admitted that your brain is fried and the drugs bring you little pleasure and your life is miserable.

Do not try to glamourise your lifestyle.

>>282251

Do you really have a Michelin Star?

I like a smooth nape to nuzzle.

>>282257

How much oil did you use?

>>282257

Needs some red and green. Maybe chilli and a capsicum.

>>282256

An unkempt nape is what all the other marsupials go rabid for.

>>282254

moments of sleep deprived weakness from suffering from a prolonged infected tooth

im golden mate… however this world is not

>>282260

He is a marsupial of refined taste.

>>282259

Already spicy, cabbage, garlic and mince is a tasty combo

>>282258

Only a little bit to brown the mince

>>282172

Cumin seeds in your mouth

>>282259

my thoughts exactly but he probably doesnt have any … a fried Chicken Period chopped up would be a good adition too

Noodle have been consumed, now being digested for eventual disposal as wanked poo.

thats its im having a party and im playing dance music from the late 90''s …. god damn i need to go back….

>>282267

>>282268

>>282266

StomaNEET?

>>282270

Who is stoma?

>>282271

A NEET once proclaimed he would never share a picture of his Stoma and I want to see a picture of it.

Volunteered today for 4 hours

>>282273

Vile

>>282274

We will be here for you when you burn out and have your inevitable breakdown.

Enjoying some garlic bread.

>>282276

I'll declare the wankruptcy

>>282277

vile

I used to be able to enjoy garlic bread. Now it is the garlic bread which enjoys me.

>>282275

Why didn't my video I posted earlier today get a Vile?

>>282281

kek

>>282281

hot

Need a wank

>>282285

>>282160

>>282282

He probably assumed you-know-who posted it.

Garlic bread and pizza have been consumed.

Would have been nicer if I could actually taste anything.

>>282288

do you just inhale it like air ?

>>282287

Who what why

>>282289

That is how I eat.

> they too know what i know

> they too hunger for the beast below

>>282293

oh wo wo wo wo

*stupiud bass hook*

>>282291

>t. potential winner of the Nurgle 2019

>>282296

No. As winner of Nurgle 2018, I retire.

>>282297

>I retire

That's because you're the judge of the Nurgle 2019.

>>282298

I can't in good conscience encourage Nurgling.