/ausneets/ - Aus NEETs

>>195184

Nice thread mate.

They won't learn though

>>195181

Yes there will be alcohol, so it wont be too bad but i will also be going to a night club and trying a last minute attempt at gf2018.

>>195192

You need more faith in the NEETs.

just post uncensored poos, it scares away even 8ch regulars.

>>195195

I often forget that this is 8 chan/

>>195184

Good thread.

>>195182

oh, shame to hear that, was it a particularly bad spergout?

>>195193

Good luck on your gf hunting, don't forget about us when you get one

>>195194

We have been here almost a year now. Those that haven't learned by now never will.

We have spent a solid portion of our entire existence on this site.

4chan is back up, but not fully operating, we may have to tolerate our new guests for a little while longer.

>>195199

Maybe.

>>195198

I've had worse

>>195203

What do you usually do during them?

>>195200

I love u 2

>>195201

A lot of that was me shit posting.

I work with a part Aboriginal lady, the other day we were doing leadership training and talking about leaders and I mentioned Bennelong, she didn't know who that was.

upsetting, all Australians should.

>>195207

I read that as I woke with at first

>>195207

Jeez

>>195207

The average person is exceptionally ignorant. They make even a lot of the duffers here look informed.

Where did gf2018 go? Only a week and a half left. Might have to ditch my pride and find a abo gf, still counts right?

>>195207

Fuck I'm a racist fuck and I know all the great aborigines, she has no excuse, she needs to learn her culture

>>195211

we need to have a NYE NEET up and convince some girls to be our gfs for a few hours

Downloading Far Cry 5 atm, arsehole is feeling a little stretched after the massive shit i took before.

>>195214

>Far Cry 5

why?

>>195215

I really like the whole series.

>>195214

Has anything else stretched it?

>that first sip of the day

always so good

especially when its spirits for a change instead of goon

>>195218

Have a wank

>>195216

Why?

>>195216

I liked Farcry primal.

Is the goon fairy real?

>>195222

Yes

I only like good games like Victoria 2 and Darkest Hour. therefore i am superior to you NEETs

>>195223

You just killed one.

>>195224

Go to bed nofun

>>195224

What a fucking pleb, the only good video game is NEET King Simulator 2: Rape in the Joondy Dumpster

>>195227

That's weber

>>195231

Worse than a nightmare.

>>195231

Beatiful!

>>195231

Hot

>>195235

Good night primal NEET.

>>195236

>primal

I have urges. I have needs.

>>195237

I have itches that I can't scratch on my own.

>>195188

surrounded by cheap knock offs in a world starved for authenticity

>>195239

You get your country flooded with chinese products to?

>>195240

flooded with the products

flooded with the people

flooded with ill-gotten money pricing locals out of property market

flooded with the newly bought mercedes' and BMWs driven by people whomst are bereft of driving skills

and our local industries are now incapable of manufacturing

>>195242

Goodnight oriental fancier.

>>195242

I'd like to unwrap her, if you know what I mean.

>>195231

We should do a 'best of ausneets memes' thread, and this should not be in it.

>>195245

Only the NEET thread is allowed, also you just reminded me of something I need to do

>>195235

What sort of doco's do you watch to help you fall asleep?

The Official /ausneet/ meme of the year vote

http://poal.me/v7kaaq

>>195248

Mr Murphy is a multitude of memes. Also you forgot the 'this is why possum doesn't post here anymore'

>>195249

Fuck I did but lets be honest that's a spinoff of "WHERE ARE YOU POSSUM"

And also Dan comes in as one nomination since he's defending his 2017 title http://poal.me/o3od9k

There have been reports of Dan memes showing up on other boards, including places as far away as 4chan. The neet council would like to remind all neets that Dan memes are considered not for export, and should not be taken out of /ausneets/ for any reason.

>>195253

This, UNNA is the designated signal to show you're from here when you're here, Dan is for /ausneets/

Evening NEETs.

>>195255

vote

night

>tfw cant sleep

>tfw cant die

>>195253

I heard they get posted on facebook

>>195260

This is a worrying development.

>>195261

Damn truganini was a total thottie i'd smash

>>195166

is she normie

is she gamer

whichever it is she is not likely one of us

tfw :(

>>195212

>>195207

tbf she isnt the same mob as him innit

i wouldnt expect all NEETs here to know any himasugi memes

>>195213

im thinking of going out on the town in shitbourne since i wake up at 5pm anyways. might get $50 from dadbot and hit up the clubs. reply to this post before the thread dies if ur got any ideas for it shitbourne NEET

all my fb friends who would be up for it left me years ago.

>>195214

>>195216

is it worth it? i only finished 3 and was waiting to buy a new GPU but now im thinking of getting a RTX for xmas if they work on windows 7 otherwise might wait awhile til i cbf installing linux and a w10 VM

>>195261

if i had no context outside of this board i would genuinely think it was a serious poster for celebrating this board

I hate ethnics.

I've been eating a lot of cabbage and beans over the past fortnight.

RECTAL

PROLAPSE

>>195272

self hate?

>>195273

I've been eating a lot of aboriginal vagina recently

self hating rectum

Just watching through the video some NEET posted last night, saw this and cracked up

https://youtu.be/e039ODdE_fs?t=1666

>>195277

>On sale now at IGA

Feeling kind of shitty. Night Night NEETs

I am awake.

I AM AWAKE

I AM AWAKE

>>195279

the whole thing is hilariously autistic

its like that facebook book group post. its not what hes saying its how hes saying it.

What does it mean when a house is advertised for sale at $249,000-$269,000 ?

Does that mean if you offer them $249,000 they will accept it? And if they wouldn't accept that then why the fuck would they put it in the advertisement?

https://iyashikei.moe/amagami-challenge/

>>195286

The best way to win that is not to play.

>>195284

Sounds like a price range for similar properties in the area. The real estate agent would take the offer to the client and if they needed the money bad they would buy it.

>>195285

(You)

Morning NEETs.

>>195290

Good morning.

Morning neetbros. 11 days to finish gf2018 - how's it looking?

>>195253

The best Dan meme (that webm with him talking) is from facebook or reddit.

Dan is a normie meme.

I've just had a brilliant idea - instead of the boring text only capture, 8ch should have the capture presented an adorable anime loli dressed up like a nazi demanding that you prove you're human.

>>195294

That is not a good idea.

>>195264

You do know your black fella history.

>tfw impressed.

>>195268

Fair call.

>himasugi

Is this a NoFun thing?

>>195296

Good morning my friend.

I went to let doggo out this morning but the neighbour's two dogs were there at the fence waiting for him. Just staring into my yard waiting for him to appear.

It was too early for me to allow all the noise that would have ensued so I took doggo out on the leash to the other side of the house again.

Now Doggo has an upset stomach and he didn't touch his breakfast.

This is all stressing me out.

>>195300

That would be too much for me, especially first thing in the morning.

>>195279

Leon's a fuckhead.

>>195290

>>195282

>>195291

>>195292

>>195299

Good morning. One more day after today. I am waking up later and later, it's like my body knows that it is almost time to give up.

>>195304

>it's like my body knows that it is almost time to give up.

iktf, do you have any time off over christmas and new year?

>>195306

I've still got another week off, relaxing but also boring.

>tfw conflicted mensch

>>195278 Powerful

I just ate the last of those garlic breads from Domino's. 2 minutes in the microwave it came up pretty good.

>>195307

>but also boring.

I'm expecting this to be the case too. I'm going to try and get some work done around the house.

>>195311

Karen knows both intimately.

>>195312

>they are easily as good as dominoes ones

No they aren't. they really aren't.

>>195314

I can't call that hot, I'm sorry.

>>195316

I have released my dove for distant shores.

>>195315

Yes they are, it all comes down to how you cook them.

>>195317

That's better. Hot.

>>195318

You keep pushing me into being the snob I don't like to be. You like so many things you shouldn't.

>>195300

I've had another brilliant idea to solve the world's problems - this time for doggo neet's doggo. What you need is a PA system for your doggo - and a microphone on his collar - that way he can out-bark the rival dogs, devastating them with 20 kw sonic bark attacks. Also an effects processor to make his barks sound deeper and scarier.

>>195320

I don't think liking anything in dominoes range would make you a snob.

>>195321

Phaser and a delay rebound.

>>195323

I have some plans for today, what about you guys?

>>195322

That's true.

>>195326

Have a good day mate. See you when you get home.

I hope you have a nice quiet calm day and there are no dramatic incidents.

>>195328

Good morning.

>>195301

Now with extra rape

>>195331

I guess you are going to have to be spanked!

>>195334

Good work NEET, having a healthy stool cycle is very important

>>195335

>tfw no bicycle made of stool.

>>195336

It would be one shitty bike thats for sure.

>>195336

>made in india

A dark unforgiving melancholy in the wage cage today

>>195339

You need to look on the bright side of life.

>>195339

>>195340

At least you're not in india assembling poo cycles

>>195340

Then what, just bee myself?

>>195342

God no, that's why i said to look on the bright side of life instead of being the depressed person you usually are.

>>195343

What do you do when the bright side of life is covered in poo ?

>>195335

The dexies help me poo in the morning

>>195344

Well shit happens from time to time, so you will have to get use to it.

>>195346

Yours is a far weaker philosophy than I shall ever masturbate to.

>>195347

>Yours is a far weaker philosophy than I shall ever masturbate to.

i understand what you mean. i don't really get how people can masturbate to the girl alone, i need to enjoy the film or picture etc on a level higher then just the girl being attractive to masturbate to it.

Just had a big shart scare on the job, was ready to walk out and never return. Thankfully I'm in the clear.

>>195349

kek

The day continues.

Found out I only have 3 days off next week.

>>195352

hahaha

i have sixteen days off

HE'S BACK

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lJu1uokdUvM&t=34s

>>195354

Another great video Leon!

>>195356

I'd give her a good vanning

20 degrees today in Shitbourne, have to mow the lawn outside.

>>195358

>1. Buy sheep

>2. Have sheep eat lawn

>3. Cook and eat sheep

>4. PROFIT

>>195359

>2a. Have sex with sheep

>>195359

Then I'd have to worry about having sheep shitting all over the yard

>>195360

NZNEET you boong

>>195360

New Zealanders must go

>>195362

I think the Welsh are well known sheep fuckers too

>tfw running out of money

>>195364

>IKTF

>>195364

Nevermind, my cenno just came through.

I had to help out my roomates regarding rent and it fucked me financially, wiped out my savings.

>>195366

Who are your room mates?

Wish I was a NEET.

>>195368

sorry m8 there's only so much neetbux to go around

Shit yeah cunny flogs

Early knock off and a free bottle of wine

>>195352

Stay strong mate.

>>195368

You do not it was boring.

>>195370

Nice

Still no change in that parcel's status.

>>195373

maybe it is getting checked by customs

>>195373

>>195374

Could be the time of year too, lots more parcels and shit to sort.

>>195374

>>195375

Maybe.

>>195378

Good luck, What made you interested in this field of study?

>>195378

Good luck.

>>195378

Good luck NEET.

>>195381

>>195380

>>195379

Cheers lads.

>What made you interested in this field of study?

I don't know how to answer that.

>>195377

> NEETs>jews>wagies

>>195382

>I don't know how to answer that.

Fair enough, it is a pretty hard question to answer but you should think about it. It will help you understand yourself.

Been asked to come in for a disciplinary meeting.

Merry Christmas.

>>195386

Why's that?

>>195386

I am sorry to hear that mate. Just keep your head level and listen to what they have to say. Don't try and fight them.

>>195388

I'm going to snap.

>>195389

Please don't.

>>195389

Have a wank

>>195386

Two sackings in the space of four weeks. Must be some kind of board record.

Mowed the lawn, might have some lunch, I'd love a beer but I have to drive mummybot to the doctors later so that's not an option

>>195393

Well done NEET, sounds like you are being productive today.

>>195392

He a NEET pretending to be a wagie thats the problem.

>>195395

Not true. The NEET life always caused him unease and he dreamed of more.

>>195398

>Welcome home neets.

When is my welcome goon package going to arrive?

WHY IS CENNOS SITE SO SLOW REEE

>>195404

You have to wait a few weeks if you get sacked, mate.

>>195405

I'm just making my application now, mygov is so slow and shit though

An Intense storm is coming shire you should probably batter down the hatches.

>>195409

> batter down the hatches

You batten down the hatches.

You batter the missus.

>>195409

The hatches are battered down.

>>195411

You batten down the hatches.

You spray baby batter down the missus.

>>195412

lel

>These thunderstorms are moving towards the east and likely to bring heavy rainfall, damaging yet locally destructive winds and large, possibly giant hailstones.

Oh great, I just love giant hailstones.

>>195415

Good night for a bike ride.

>>195415

>I just love giant hailstones.

>tfw battered

>>195416

Helmet will keep me safe.

>>195417

battered + flogged

Feeling worried for my boy Cruisey.

>>195420

Cheers but it's not in your hands. I will be responsible for this fuck up.

>>195423

Did he ever have that wank I suggested?

What happened cruisy? We can be #sacked bruddas

Do we have a character in NEETlore that represents BWS? Just visited him. A bearded fellow

I'm confused now. Did Monk get sacked today? Who got the disciplinary meeting?

>>195426

Bullshit. It's fucking Dan creating the illusion of competition.

>>195429

Dan's one slippery merchant.

Huh the storm never really hit, how disappointing.

>>195430

A sippery merchant too.

>>195432

That's what it wants you to think.

>>195432

Yeah seems like it was a dud.

>>195427

No, my mid week weekend went unnoticed and undiscussed. I've even been put onto the early shift so I can knock off early or work longer. You cunts didn't believe me, but I know my way around casual employment slave masters like the back of my hand.

Sipping a long neck and waiting for my first uber eats pizza, life's good neets. Think my depressive bipolar phase is ending and I'm feeling back on the up. Woo cunnies

>>195436

>Think my depressive bipolar phase is ending and I'm feeling back on the up

That's good mate. Hopefully you stay stable for a while.

>>195436

is the gf happy?

>>195436

Good to hear mate.

Obviously Cruisey's wife's niggardly ways are starting to rub off on him.

>>195439

Was he caught stealing office supplies?

>>195440

Caught with over 9000 paper clips

>>195440

He started replying to everything the boss said with "OH NO YOU DID-INT!" and "MOMMA DID-INT RAISE NO FOOL!" and "DAAAAAAAAAAMN!"

I bought tickets in the Powerball tonight. $25 million jackpot.

This could be the NEET Commune we have been dreaming of.

>>195443

So did I, good luck m8

>>195444

And to you.

Alright I'm getting hail with this second storm

>>195446

>>195434

/ausneets/pol/ was right again

I am feeling quite hale.

>>195451

A fast-paced reply.

>>195452

sup fellow old neet

Attention NEETs

Make sure your mummybots are properly scrubbed for tomorrow nights mummybot swapping party.

We don't want a repeat of last months vomiting incidents.

A well scrubbed mummybot is a happy mummybot.

hailed and battered

I got phoned by the baseball store. The baseballs I ordered said they were in stock on the website but actually weren't. Instead she offered to send me a lower grade of baseball, but she would add one extra for the same price. I said yes. So I am getting 13 baseballs now, although they are one step down in terms of quality.

>>195456

>tfw life gives you low quality balls

>>195457

They are still good balls, just not quite as good as the other ones.

>>195456

You know you're just going to leave them at your backside anyway. If I hit any with the lawn mower, I'll tan your arse.

Is it flogging down?

>>195462

M8, it's raining nigs and nogs out there

WA is nice and fine actually

>>195461

You couldn't deliver her the load she required.

>>195464

Low quality batter.

>>195465

Well bantered.

If I could get a fat gf in the next 10 days

And then eat her

I could win gf2018 AND Nurgle2018 at once

>>195467

That's so crazy it just might work.

I wonder what the record for eating a whole fat girl is ?

>>195470

>you'll have a sweet body suit to.

Not if he makes crackling.

>>195472

>Not if he makes crackling.

You are on the pathway to Nurglehood

I'm going to do a poo.

Cruisey better have posted an updated by I am back.

>>195474

>Cruisey better have posted an updated by I am back

A terribly organised sentence.

IT IS THEM THAT WILL GET THE DISCIPLINARY MEETING, I WILL RAIN DOWN FUCKING FIRE ON THEM ALL. THEY WILL REGRET THIS. I WILL RATTLE OFF HOW THEY ARE ALL CUNTS AND FUCKING TRY TO RAZZ ONE UP TO FUCKING FIGHT ME THEN SMASH THEIR FUCKING JAWS IN

I hope I am still this livid tomorrow.

>>195474

I missed your question. Phone posting doesn't give me my fucking yous

>>195476

Give 'em a disciplinary meeting right up the arsehole mate !

>>195476

No no no. Mate please no.

CHEEK BONES CRUNCHING BEHIND MY FUCKING KNUCKLES, EYE SOCKETS FUCKING POPPED OUT, INOPERABLE FUCKING DAMAGE. EQUALITY FOR ALL, THE BITCHES CAN COP A HIDING IF THEY WANT TO STAND UP TOO

>>195476

What are they disciplining you for? What are you alleged to have done?

>>195482

He molested the down syndrome lunch lady in the toilets

>>195482

I don't even fucking know. They came into my room and said 'you are not getting fired, just breathe'.

Death to the infidels.

>>195481

You can't beat up gays and women mate.

>>195481

Calm down please.

>>195475

Look, mate, an accidental d on the end of update ruined the whole sentence. Don’t start with me or you will regret it.

>>195485

You can actually. That’s called equality.

>>195483

hot

>>195484

If you are not getting fired then you should not get all fired up. Just listen to what they have to say respectfully and put your case respectfully too.

>>195481

Have that wank

>>195491

Save that for the meeting. Spider-Man those bitches.

>>195481

Have a hate wank

Well I got an eviction notice out of fucking nowhere, what do

>>195490

Your post made me twitch then shudder. They are putting me in the room with them.

>>195494

Find a new place to live mate.

Why were you evicted?

>>195490

Then when that doesn't work, call em a bunch of useless cunts

>>195484

Call Weber and go all tag-team WWF on them.

>>195495

I can't tell what is serious and what is a joke. I am worried.

Jesus Christ it's like NEET armagedon all of a sudden.

NEETs getting fired,getting warnings, getting evicted

Did we piss off Boong Wizard or something ?

>>195496

No fucking clue, I got a notice in the mail telling me that I have to fuck off by the 24th of Jan

>>195501

Sounds fair to me.

>>195500

You stole his digits

>>195500

You remember that time Weber stole his quints? Yeah. Actions have consequences.

>>195504

AHA, but I AM Boong Wizard

>>195503

No it's fucking not, I like this place, why are they making me move, I fucking can't afford anywhere else

>>195499

It is a joke. I am the joke.

The earrings are out.

>>195507

That is just one of the pitfalls of renting mate.

>>195507

Set fire to it.

>>195508

I still don't know. The earrings are out, but is the chook suit on?

>>195510

Set fire to everything.

And here's the real dick move, they put out this notice FUCKING RIGHT AS THEY GO TO HOLIDAYS SO I CAN'T RING UP AND ASK WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK

>>195511

The chook suit is not on.

>>195513

Once upon a time you could like people up in the phone book and confront them at home and threaten their kids.

>>195513

They're shifty cunts like that, leave a big poo in the hallway when you leave.

http://poal.me/v7kaaq

Lets get more votes in

>>195514

That's good I think.

>>195515

*look

>>195513

CUnts the world is full of fucking cunts.

Set fire to the w fucking worklds

>>195513

That timing is fucked up.

This time of year it gives you fuck all to find another

>>195517

FUXCK off you dickhesad

>>195513

typical real estate agent cunts

>>195523

I wouldn't piss on the cunts

unless they were attractive women

>>195520

>>195522

Are you on the goon?

>>195525

I'm binge eating biscuits and air fried fish.

>>195527

Well at least you haven't lost your appetite.

What sort of biscuits?

>>195527

big, big poo.

>>195528

Biscuits of HATE and ANGER

I'm fucking freaking out

>>195530

Jam Fancies?

So when is this fucking meeting? It's after 6pm.

>>195530

Exactly. The mint creme ones.

>>195534

I'm just going to watch and throw fish at you all. Not in the fucking mood.

>>195536

>throw fish at you all

I will wear my walrus suit.

This is a very stressful time. The Council meeting is going to be fucked tonight.

>>195537

Walrus suits are banned at council meetings since the "bucket of fish" incident.

>>195539

I kept the funnel as a souvenir.

>>195538

It's alright, Craig gave me some meth for us all to smoke before the meeting.

That should calm us right down.

>>195537

John was the walrus.

>>195540

How the hell did you get it out of the …

No, I don't wanna know.

>>195542

Coo coo cachew

>>195542

You are just looking for a fight.

>>195539

I kind of feel bad for that poor initiate who had to clean it up.

>>195542

Possum was the eggman

>>195548

baseballman

>>195550

You need to get better and fresher memes.

>>195544

Craig is a top bloke really

He looks out for the common NEET

Big domestic dispute going on with the crazy woman next door. She keeps calling someone a cunt and telling her to "get out of my house". "this is my house, I will drink wherever I want in my own house, you're a cunt". She is screaming it.

POSSUM's GOING TO MAKE IT

>>195553

Probably this guy >>195494