/ausneets/ - Aus NEETs

>>186101

It's UNNA supreme

Not bad OP.

>tfw no rich mummybot to give me a job working "customer services"

>>186107

Just remove a couple of teeth and you’re done.

>>186108

>tfw no rich mummybot to give me a job wanking "customer services"

>>186109

kek

>>186108

>tfw no rich daddybot to buy me an F1 team to race in

https://wwos.nine.com.au/motorsport/f1-2019-driver-grid-lance-stroll-force-india-under-billionaire-dad/1d1e63fb-da7b-485b-a112-f2d1539210cd

>>186107

Why would he have a pic of Dan on him?

Thank you for that bum rash post.

>>186115

You're very welcome.

>>186115

Which one?

>>186117

I tried to upset you with a preemptive bum rash post

>>186117

>>186118

Both posts are very important.

>>186114

It's the /ausneets/ team logo

>>186119

I appreciate all bum rash posts.

>>186120

Once I posted bum ‘’gash’’

>>186123

"gash" forbidden word

>>186123

Phucking iPhone. That was supposed to be italics.

>>186123

To me that indicates a development in the rash. More soothing creme is needed.

>>186126

A woman who has just given birth vaginally to a big babby has a bum gash

>>186127

It also means

>a long, deep cut or wound.

>>186128

You know they snip through the perrenium from the vag to the anus to make birth easier?

>>186129

Yeah, that's not bad. Can you make the shorts black and white like the bars?

Went to the front bar for an after dinner drink. Literally one scotch, one Irish, and seven bourbons. Bar girl is cute, but six feet tall in flats.

>>186129

I don't care.

>>186131

I can it's a bit fiddly and not sure if Port Magies had stripes on their shorts

>>186132

Big girl

>>186133

I feel like you don't understand the Dan logo is the team logo

>>186137

Plays rugby apparently.

>>186134

an*me is on its way out

>>186142

^

>>186134

You post utter shit, you front bum.

>>186134

Maybe you should threaten us that you are going to leave.

>>186130

I have heard it used in other contexts around injuries, what's the point?

>>186134

Are you muscleNEET?

>>186138

How is a team logo if there are multiple teams?

>>186141

I got two packages, despite the gate being locked. One fitted in the letterbox, but the other was either thrown onto the porch or the courier climbed the fence.

>>186141

I only want to see it if its a dragon dildo.

>>186136

Nah, but it'll look like there are shorts pulled up to his tits.

>>186146

Similie just like axe wound.

>>186140

You haven't even got the name of the board right. Dan's a fucking wanker.

>>186153

G O O N E D

>>186148

You fukn boong, there is 3 different Kits for the /ausneets/ team, the Dan Home Kit, the SA away kit and the Craig GK kit

While /unna/ has the Abo Flag Home Kit, the NK away kit and the Abo dot painting GK kit

>>186154

Dan's a fuckwit.

>>186155

Why are there three teams?

>>186157

there is 32 teams in the 8chan cup 4 happening in Janurary, of which 8 of these are going to be in a test cup on Sunday Morning

/ausneets/ and /unna/ are two of these teams

You're baiting me aren't ya matey

Am I wrong in thinking you can tell the disdain a hospitality worker has for you in how they give you your change? Worst case is putting it on the counter, but that’s followed by them turning away as they try and drop coins into your hand, etc. Conversley, cupping your hand shows a level of care.

>>186149

My parcel guy just jumps the fence from next door when he has a parcel for me (I would need a ladder to get over it)

ROFL a literal fucking helmet wearing dribbler showed up at the bar and got pulled a pint and told “this is your first and last drink, Simon” and he says “righto!”.

>>186162

kek, does Simon browse the gen

>>186163

It even has a chin strap

>>186150

>>186165

>>186164

Did you post the gym selfies?

>>186167

No.

>>186164

How big is your PO box?

Now there’s another one playing pool by himself in safety goggles and overalls

>>186168

:-(

>>186169

Have a wank in shower but be careful you don't get trapped in a wank cycle.

>>186169

I got my grandma to cut mine on last Friday.

>>186170

It's only a small one, I have to go in to pick up packages.

>>186164

Ur totes a fucktard

>>186169

Also, looking good. I am getting a haircut on the weekend.

>>186175Would you like some super hard prolapsing blood spilling pos anal?

>>186175

He's a special and kind NEET.

>>186177

Yes.

>>186178

Bajo had a hard life

>>186179

Ok , where do you live, how much money do you have, do you live alone?

>>186180

A hard life

>>186181

Ooohhh, should I expect a visitor tonight?

>>186174

Are you a little bogan girl?

>>186176

I was gonna get mine on the weekend but I'd be too hungover to do it

>>186179

what nationality and race are you? I only rape and kill white faggots who are 15 to 25 years old. But If you are willing to be tortured with controlled stabbing and bleeding, without reporting to police, the death part is negotiable. Prefer killing black dudes anyway.

>>186186

>tfw when over 25 years old

:-(

>>186139

quite hot

>>186176

Same, I wonder what has caused this great weekend NEETcut to all take place together, is it a sign?

>>186184

For the right price.

>>186191

Who are you quoting?

>>186188

She is. Lovely face. Proportionate figure.

>>186190

Why?

>>186190

Go 0.5 you fag

>>186192

hot

>>186193

What are you implying?

>>186195

Because I told her too.

>>186199

Did you give her a thank you.

Im pretty tired NEETs, how are you guys holding up?

>>186190

That hair looks Jewish

>>186200

Of course I did. I brought her some Asahi.

>>186202

It looks like hair dashing British spies have.

>>186201

good, beer number 7 and been awake since 2.30am

>>186201

Pretty tired too.

>>186204

That’s nothing cunt, I’m an imperial pint,bottle of red, and 8 shots of scotch in.

>>186187

Ok you are too old for sex, but if you hate yourself and want to die, I could meet you in a private chat?

>>186207

Checkout this edge lord

>>186208

gay

>>186208

Homosexual

>>186208

bendy

>>186211

>>186210

You are for not having hair like that.

>tfw wageing killed my appetite, sex drive and goon drive simultaneously

Apparently counting out $17.60 for a double scotch is being drunk and not assbergers, even though everybody else here is objectively worse on every level. What a cunt bohemeth bitch

>>186214

iktf, waging was a mistake.

>>186214

Who are you quoting?

>>186214

same here. I only needed a job to pay off my credit card debt, which only took me 2 weeks. I feel pointless going to work. I don't buy much. Maybe I should get into fumo's as well.

>>186218

>>186216

I remember Cruisey's (I think) post about how he was having tantrums about having to do it for the next 40 years and how he was always running out of time and never able to accomplish the big dreams he had for himself. I feel the exact same way, I often feel like a small child or toddler for slamming cupboards in the morning or swearing out loud if I miss my train and get home 20 minutes later.

I am a ragie wagie.

>>186220

Somebody ban this cuntpuss

>>186221

cunnypuss?

>>186219

I don't get angry, but I've fallen into a depressive state again, I feel like I have deliberately set myself up for failure, I don't know how long I can hold out waging.

>>186223

That's something hue would say, do you fancy grannybot

>>186222

Cunnyunna?

>>186225

No, hue would say

>go to my grannybots and post in her

>>186226

Cunnyunnagroolmogrification

>>186229

kek

Which one of you faggots wants to play? Seems to ring on deaf ears as the 8 ball tables are considered

>>186228

You are correct NoFun, there are a few things they are preventing me from quitting but I don't see the point of it in the long run.

>>186231

play what?

Splatoon 2?

If so I'm up

Why in the fuck is no one serious about being killed as part of necro - fetishes anymore? The neets ten years ago were so open to being raped and killed, but I was too young to cary it out successfully. But now at 20 everyone here is so effeminately gay that they cannot handle having a screwdriver stabbed into there anus with bleeding, or being forced to drink there own anus blood. Like WTF?

>>186231

I'll play Girls und Panzer Dream tank Match with you if you want.

>>186231

Ill play minecraft

8 ball you faggots

Or we could play Hearts of iron 4 or Touhou 15.5.

>>186239

>Hearts of iron 4

i only have 3 though

>>186240

You're an old man.

>>186241

Why?

>>186233

>>186235

>>186239

You should be ashamed of your tastes, NEETs.

>>186243

Do you want to play Squad or Post Scriptum?

Jewish aboriginal ejaculation

>>186244

Hearts of iron 3 is a good suggestion, and the project reality mod for bf2 is a thousand times better than squad.

As for post scriptum I never played that so I don't know.

>>186246

Ah i see it all makes sense now.

>>186248

Both have their own benefits, Squad will be better in the end though. It just takes far too long to update.

>>186249

It's pretty simple, few of the youth of today actually like their video games, they just want to shit talk with their internet friends while something simple and easy that's not completely uninteractive like a movie is displayed on their screen.

>>186247

>You gotta force it on them and put the effort in, life gets harder as you get older

Agreed, Maybe the consent bit in my earlier years was wrong. I agree the only way to for - fill my fetishes is by illegal means. Have been planning a few neco - rape - pos - sleeping with dead body hunts recently. Just blood is so hard to get off couches and bed sheets, the most fucking annoying shit ever.

Who wants to play?

https://skribbl.io/?03RvspzFlq

>>186254

Goodnight oriental fancier.

>>186254

Would hit it

>>186254

That is pretty ugly even for a gook

>>186258

Those teeth are just begging to have the words "RUV U RONG TIEM" pass through them.

>>186255

What is it?

>>186260

pictionary

>>186258

some people have no taste

>>186262

dont have fun then

>>186258

Have you seen a real one before?

>>186264

I hear their pussy slits are sideways

>>186264

Gook or woman?

>>186160

You have discussed this before.

>>186160

In bars they will sometimes deliberately put change on the bench to test how drunk you are.

>>186266

Asian, that's a nip though.

>>186201

I have a migraine and cant see properly.

>>186214

Yes.

>>186219

>I am a ragie wagie.

I fear I am going to destroy all the relationships I currently have and I am too old to make any new ones. Sometimes I think that is what I want.

>>186234

>now at 20

>ten years ago

>>186273

Fuck off, this is wagie territory. You're lucky I put up with your fucking bullshit you overgrown child.

>>186252

Your head looks like a box.

>>186278

Only children would fucking notice that I'm swearing. It's just part of my language knobhead.

>>186280

You're the one that posts cartoons.

>>186281

Only boomers think cartoons are for children. Now everyone knows you're a boomer.

>>186277

That's my phone, my head was turned because I was wiping my ass while standing up

>>186283

Cartoons are specifically for kids.

>>186284

Any blood?

>>186287

No it was a nice, clean wipe

>>186285

They make you study that picture in rape school for face fucking classes

>>186288

>take a shit

>wipe

>paper is clean

Will science ever find an answer to this mystery?

>>186290

But poo is clean and holy

Jawmaxxing works, fellas: https://www.reddit.com/r/PlasticSurgery/comments/7z5u5m/i_got_silicone_chin_and_jaw_implants_2_weeks_post/

>>186290

>science

More like the forensics department.

>>186302

Are you saying there's a poo thief around?

feel bad

>>186299

i have 2 shirts with touhou waifus on the front made to look like rock albums

say hi if you're ever in shitbourne cbd. I'll probably post when i go tho. haven't been for weeks

>>186295

this is beautiful but your aret mistaken. NOW it is real neet hours

Night Night NEETs

Oh no neeties

https://www.smh.com.au/lifestyle/life-and-relationships/because-i-am-small-and-asian-i-am-fetishised-by-some-white-men-20181126-p50ifk.html

>>186296

Makes you look Jewish

Neets hand off snakey

oh no neets

i woke up to a turd in the toilet i apparently didn't wipe or flush

vomit on the toilet floor

vomit in the bath tub

vomit in the shower

vomit outside the shower

>>186303

>dreaded bren-gun could crack any kr*ut tank from five miles away.

the Ben was chambered in .303, and wasn't making 5 mile shots, let alone punching holes in tanks.

>>186313

How does the anus feel, I fear NK may of gotten in

>>186315

the angus is fine

>>186316

Good to see he hasn't eaten the tenderion but how is the arse

Good morning NEETs, today is my birthday.

>>186318

How old r ya

>>186319

32

>>186321

The gook taking you anywhere special shire?

>>186322

>>186323

Working, gf is coming over for dinner tonight.

>>186324

You better not be cooking.

>>186325

Hobbit food is high quality thank you very much

>>186325

Getting some pizzas from the fancy Italian place down the road.

>>186320

Nice birb

>>186327

Spaghetti rape

>>186326

You called me a hobbit yesterday too. What's going on, do you want to talk about it?

>>186327

Noice.

>>186328

Apparently it's a Bundaberg birb

>>186330

You're from Shire, hense the joke

>>186332

Birb out on the piss

Do you think corporations would save more money if no one worked Fridays? All those employees they wouldn't have to pay, and no one works to their fullest on Fridays anyway.

>>186333

Wrong NEET

>>186336

You're 32 and have a girlfriend, you're shire

>>186337

I'm 28.

>>186337

Nah it was someone else impersonating me.

>>186339

I wasn't impersonating you. He just can't tell NEETs apart.

>>186318

Happy Birthday m8

Don't do anything we wouldn't do

>>186338

NK you boong I was refering to shire when I made that post get better reading comprehension

I know cruisey you're not nk

>>186335

They would lose money from no labor, what the people who are calling for a 4 day work week want is to add an extra 2 hours of work onto the rest of the working week and have friday off.

>>186340

Ah

>>186339

I'm confused

>>186342

>you're not nk

You don't know that.

>>186342

Well if he's NK,cruisey and shire then who am I ?

>>186346

Never heard of you

>>186346

You am I when I get hungry for fancy wine.

>>186345

You boong

>>186347

I am offended

>>186348

This is entirely possible, hello me

?

>that cookie monster scream at the end

https://www.abc.net.au/news/2018-11-28/paedophile-vivian-deboo-mobbed-by-victims-and-protesters/10561568

NK you cruisey shire boong

>>186352

Never heard of you Monaro

>>186353

That's alright gookNEET

>>186351

kek

>>186352

Together we are a giant faggot.

>>186354

All good Hitler

There's some good shit on abc this morning.

Tranny shit burns down 47000 acres in some hippy demonstration and get ordered to pay back $8m

https://www.abc.net.au/news/2018-11-28/video-shows-us-gender-reveal-party-ignites-47,000-acre-wildfire/10563934

>>186358

not exactly it was for the baby that they are having apparently

>The party took place last year on April 23 and was meant to reveal the gender of the host couple's soon-to-arrive baby

>>186358

Had nothing to do with trannies, they were revealing the gender of their unborn baby, cunts here do it with burnouts in cars, blue smoke = boy, pink smoke = girl.

>>186362

>>186360

That makes even less sense.

>>186365

SO I stuck my finger in the woodpeckers hole

And the woodpecker said God bless my soul

Take it out ! Take it out !

Remove it

https://metro.co.uk/2018/11/28/poo-found-on-every-mcdonalds-touchscreen-tested-8178486/

Anyone got anything exciting on today?

>>186367

>enlgand

there is shit every where in england. this isnt surprising at all.

>>186369

That's what you get when you invite pajeet in

>>186370

They have been like that forever, even before pajeet.

No way to delay that trouble comin' every day.

to wage

>>186375

>Lets give it back.

I give it back to the hot boong chicks every weekend

Ifyaknowwhatimsaying

Terrifying job interview soon

3 people will be interviewing me.

First thought was to bail, second was to try and numb myself somehow

attempted to clean up vomit. started heaving again. it's just going to have to stay.

>>186378

You'll be right. One probably wont say anything, one will lead you through most of the questions, and the other will ask a random question here or there.

>>186378

Take a couple of dexies and interview them.

>>186379 foul aboriginal barf

>>186382

im so ashamed right now

im also giving up drinking for a while

dan will probably go bankrupt

>>186384

Good morning Karen-chan. When did you start wearing grey stockings?

vomit has been cleaned up

i still need to run the mop and some creme cleanser over the place, but the worst of it is done.

>>186164

post muscles

>>186385

Have a (you)

LOL https://www.news.com.au/lifestyle/parenting/school-life/teenage-boy-forced-into-police-protection-after-waterboarding-syrian-refugee/news-story/cfaadd4ed781d8235e14270df141ce4d

So what do people here have planned for lunch?

>>186392

i think i have some custard in the fridge

>>186393

Oh yeah nice, i might go up to the shops later an get myself something.

17 degrees today in Shitbourne, mummybot was complaining about how "I do nothing towards getting a job" a showed her my account on seek with dozens upon dozens of applications and told her about the stores I've gone into visit, but she still was unhappy. Guess there's no pleasing some people.

>>186385

Kek

>>186395

Mummybots generally seem to like being unhappy

>>186378

Just get the interview experience, don't worry because fear begets failure.

>>186385

I have no clue about big bang theory, never watched it. Nice OC tho.

>>186392

had a chili pie

>>186397

It certainly seems to be so, yesterday she asked me to do the vacuuming while I was at work, I did the whole house, but when she came back, she started yelling at me for missing a spot next to the stairs that was maybe 10cm wide and 30cm across

>>186391

Dangit bobby, don't copy what you see on the tv.

>>186400

Clearly that small spot was very imoportant

>>186391

Now that I read this story I am loling even harder. The kid made a gofundme and has over 100k euros, and the other kid had to move out of his house. Who is really the child here? I remember when I got detention for calling a kid a jew even though he called me a faggot and all kinds of shit. I didn't even think jews were that bad at the time but it is like that /pol/ saying "call him a jew". People apply politics to kids who don't even understand that shit, we used to draw swastikas all over without even getting what it was about. Nowadays people would screech and say all the kids are nazis.

>>186404

There are many people whose expectations I can't live up to, don't think you are special.

>>186403

it was the right choice. i asked my sister who is at the shop to buy me some food she said she will but i dont trust her, only time will tell.

>>186405

It reminds me of that case in Wisconsin where the kids did a Roman salute for one of their group photos at a formal or something and now leftists are agitating for those kids to be doxxed even though they're 16 or 17 as well as making sure that these kids find it difficult to apply for jobs or uni courses. It seems that leftists these days will stop at nothing to have their enemies entire lives are ruined for daring to disagree with them, and the bulk of the rightwingers will gladly offer as little resistance as possible to these people's insane demands.

>>186093

databoos

>>186413

The Canberra Jews won't let me buy one.

>>186414

Then just make some slam fire shotguns and paint them pink.

I have a younger sister too and I have no clue what to get her either tbh

>>186415

kek

I'm giving my sisters nothing

>>186417

Of what?

>>186417

Of my vast hoarded NEET wealth

>>186419

who are you leaving it to then?

>>186420

>It is a condition of reading, posting or using memes from /ausneets/ that you leave all your worldly goods an centrelink payments towards The Neetcompound Foundation.

I Agree.

I spend all this time thinking and I could not come up with anything, I don't care I am getting my self another fumo.

>>186422

so you are creatively bankrupt?

>>186423

Yes, all I could think of was frilly dresses but I don't like my sisters any more so they should not be allowed to wear them.

I'm getting my sister cash because I know that is what she really wants.

I gotta tell myself to get outside more, its really great. But it also sucks too because I'm reminded of how much my room really stinks when I come inside from fresh air

>>186424

Listen m8, you are suffering from delusions. A 16-23 year old girl is not going to wear anything with frills you pick out. Not any of us. This is what gift cards are for.

> I don't like my sisters any more

Don't worry they will find bfs and maybe say hi to you once a year if they haven't already.

>>186426

its good when you don't have to interact with people too much, but at some point i always think enough is enough.

>>186427

Gift cards are pointless, you may as well give them money.

Good afternoon NEEToes.

>>186424

Perhaps you want frilly dresses for yourself?

>>186432

>It's funny, people say girls go for guys like their dad.

That's kind of freaky but explains a lot of things.

>>186433

I can't wear frilly dresses, I'm a man…

>>186436

T-thanks

Dunno how th interview went. I was tense and forcefully professional like always, kind of awkward. They seemed interested I suppose, spoke to me about Flexi hours and working from home. Mentioned the possibility for a project management kind of gig, dunno why they mentioned that. Thankfully they expressed how this new contract they got had them needing someone new because their main guy was getting kinda bogged down.

He was there too interviewing me. I sucked here at the technical questions, I had a basic understanding of all of it but no firm answer of any. They had me try to write a python script on a whiteboard like some /g/ meme, I had to do it in pseudo code but even then gave up and just said "basically youd just have a loop do this then that", it was embarrassing.

Oh well, I'm hoping my answers to their behaviour questions were alright, the girl seemed a bit impressed.

If that wasn't enough my fucking battery died while I was in there somehow so I had to sign up to RACV and wait for someone to come out.

I'm a lot more relaxed now though. Might get some beers and chill out with some video games before calling up the old employment agency and finding myself a manual labour job. I've got less than a grand to my name, kinda worrying.

>got uni results

>one pass, two fail

>need to stay enrolled for cenno

>don't want to face the music socially of having failed

>can't do internal transfer

Just fuck my shit up.

>>186439

Who is the stupid person you are quoting?

>>186439

Is it possible to do the failed subjects via summer school or something?

>>186440

Not now mate, I can't take it.

>>186438

Did the job ad ask for Python specifically?

>>186444

don't be a cunt

>>186444

A mean spirited post.

>>186447

While this may be true, there is no need to rub it in.

>>186438

>Mentioned the possibility for a project management

Because that is what shit inevitably comes to, you either die a drone or live long enough to see yourself become the bitching PM.

> I sucked here at the technical questions, I had a basic understanding of all of it but no firm answer of any.

Doesn't sound good…

>behaviour questions

Kek

>the girl seemed a bit impressed.

Well if HR says you're good then everyone elses opinion doesn't matter.

>>186439

Don't worry m8. Worrying is the worst.

>>186449

(You)r autism is worse than hue.

>>186443

Python or bash

I told em I was rusty but they are probably unimpressed

>>186439

Just keep making appeals to cenno. I managed to stretch out my tertiary education for nearly a decade. I'm with enough whining and begging, you could keep collecting unibux and failing subjects until you're old enough to qualify for an old age pension.

>>186451

What are you not rusty at, PomNEET?

>>186453

Kek, I did tertiary education at TAFE (NEETdaycare), apparently one of the students had been there for 13 years.

>>186453

My taxes at work.

>>186458

one good thing about not having an income..no taxes

>>186435

>NEETcam