/ausneets/ - Aus NEETs

Why couldn't Stevie Wonder see his friends? because he got married

Horrible pepe

>>163402

kek

2 hours of wageing to go

>>163407

Piss off Dan

>>163408

how rude

>>163410

You seem to be a bit angry. You need to learn to love your work.

>>163412

It's not like I'm having withdrawals or anything, but I am so bored and wish I had some drinks to help pass the time. Not even halfway through October.

What new hobbies have you NEETs developed recently?

>>163415

I've started collecting the lint I get from my bellybutton, I hope by winter next year I will have enough to make a quilt

>>163415

Refining my wanking style

Can NKs dexis be snorted?

>>163418

What about shelved?

>>163419

I would first prefer to know the answer to snorting.

>>163415

Hiding my burning anger at this outdated myob spinoff at work. Also I just broke my shitty stapler in a little Friday fit when no one was around

>>163421

What accounting software do you use?

>>163422

Exo Business

Good afternoon NEETs, another week of wagiedom completed.

>>163418

Yes, injected too.

>>163424

>Yes, injected too.

Thank you.

>>163423

I honestly hate using any other software besides xero so if it is a worst version of myob then it truly must suck.

>>163425

LOL, article goes on to say she was a boong.

https://www.news.com.au/technology/science/animals/female-ranger-taken-by-crocodile-in-northern-territory/news-story/1d1e5265fb0de3e562ddbc9a956d2268

>>163424

Good afternoon mate.

>>163428

Hope UNNA makes it back in time for NK.

Fuckin hate wageing wish I was a rich neet

>>163431

Buy a lotto ticket.

HURRY UP 5 OCLOCK IM SICK OF LOOKING AT THE CLOCK

REEEEE FUCK OFFICES

>>163433

>tfw 9 to 5 at an office

I did shit all an got paid so I am pretty happy.

Do you NEETs what to here of a naughty idea I've been thinking of?

>>163438

Yes.

Fucking hate being a NEET. Wish I was a RichWagie.

>>163440

Have a goon +/ wank +/ binge

>>163439

Basically it is buying an apartment next to a high school and buying good binoculars to perv on the high school girls. You can also do this near a beach an look out for topless sunbathers.

>>163441

Very predictable.

Have a spaz

>>163442

Wouldn't it lose it's gleam after a while. Renting would be a more viable option to be able to move around.

>>163443

Thank you

>>163442

Low behaviour. You should think about a future filled with things that will bring more meaning into your life. Don't let your sexual perversions consume you.

FUCKING RENTAL AGENT HASN'T ANSWERED MY CALLS FOR 2 DAYS

>>163446

>You should think about a future filled with things that will bring more meaning into your life

Should he start thinking about building a dungeon

>>163437

Please don't post disgusting pics unspoilered.

>>163450

That's the guy who creates the shit threads around here.

>>163451

Weber?

>>163452

Hurtful.

Waging is over

FUCK YEAH NEETS WEEKEND

AND MY RADIO WORKING AGAIN WOOOOO

>>163456

I don't know but they stopped making them in 2006.

23 degrees today in Shitbourne, thinking of going to the gym and then Dan's

>>163458

>going to the gym

Great idea

>and then Dan's

Terrible idea. Don't spoil your good work at the gym.

>>163459

>Terrible idea.

Only if he doesn't go to Dan's.

Fuck yeah NEETs got her up to 120km/h on the ragie wagie commute after some fuckwit almost cut me off as we're both turning right at an intersection

Feel a bit better now

>>163437

3XL, but 4XL tshirts are starting to feel pretty comfy now.

>>163462

Keep going and don't stop believing.

>>163461

I sit on that on the freeway most mornings. Traffic is pretty good at that time of morning. Nowhere for the police to perform a traffic stop safely either.

Such a nice Friday, would be great to crack a coldie

>>163467

Don't do it.

>>163467

> …do it.

>>163469

I hoep Cheezle is doing ok.

Off to get my corn shucked shortly

>>163473

I hope you are not paying someone to do it.

NEETs I am considering adding a janitor again to look after the board when I am unavailable. I would get Cheesy again if he was willing but I'm not sure he is in the right frame of mind right now.

So if anyone is interested in the position say so and I will give it some consideration.

>>163474

I'm not really. Just the gun club.

>>163475

Yeah mate no worries, sign me up.

t. Monk

>>163477

You'll have plenty of time at work.

>>163475

Monk or NK since he now has the power to be active 24/7

>>163480

He would be predictably bad.

>>163481

He would ban sober/narky NEETs for the time it takes them to get to their local Dan's, buy a goon and return home.

>>163483

Fuckin bullshit aldis coronas are way cheaper than that jew cunt

I found this

This isn't fake btw, this is actually Yoko Ono

>>163485

Actually Aldis goon is the same price but is 11% unlike Dan's 9%, that said Aldis goon tastes like fucking shit

>>163475

I'm up

My email is neetking@rape.lol I'm not actually NK btw

Seriously feel like getting gooned tonight.

Got nothing planned all weekend, only think stopping me is my accountability to myself

>>163486

It actually sounds a little better sped up…

>>163490

Don't do it. You don't like the type of person you turn into when on the booze.

>>163332

>hear his thoughts.

Too late, you've already lost it.

>>163333

Get

>>163475

You already have my email.

>>163492

Kek, well I put it at 2x and and just sounds like a chinkey yelling at me

>>163497

It's like she struggling to speak English when she's singing, speeding it up is the only way to make it more palatable.

>>163493

>You don't like the type of person you turn into when on the booze.

Hey Don't bully Cruisey, I like him

>>163496

but do i?

>>163416

I wear cotton undershirts and get some everyday. Soon there will be no shirt, just bellybutton lint.

>>163344

Was it worth 20 mins to come back at him?

He made sexual innuendos about his grandmother and is openly peado

Also,

Maybe your tastes in food, music and movies are just better than everyone elses. I mean, you used to like Woody.

>>163346

That little NEETking got his own blue astra

That little NEETking's a rape extraordinaire

>>163498

yeah, though that said at regular speed you actually get the best out of it as it becomes an almost Sam Hydeque Satire, where the ridiculousness of it almost acts as a deterrent to communistic delusions

>>163500

A case of miscommunication.

I guess not.

>>163504

I am not the BO…

>>163505

>Not Executive R.A.P.E.NEET

The miscommunication is going levels deep now.

>>163508

sup Shire

>>163464

Stevie wonder is pretty good.

I am not the BO…

I am the BO

>>163469

The last we heard was a NEET getting taken to bed by another after burning cardboard on his oven.

I am Spartacus.

>>163347

I had pizza made by kids in one of our cooking classes, was a bit burnt but was still ok.

>>163351

You are nice.

>>163354

I had the hardest day at work.

The girl who usually does rosters wasn't in, my boss wasn't in and my coworkers let me take lead. It was strange to order people around.

I had appointments and contacted like 50 people about different shit. People kept coming in and asking me if I was ok and I'd just give them shit to do.

>>163516

Well done for stepping up and getting it done mate.

Was the absent boss the one you were planning on yelling at?

>>163489

>is 11% unlike Dan's 9%,

>taste

C'mon Dan..

>>163496

Do you want to do it?

Are you going to take the opportunity to go into the archives and spend hours trying to ferret out all the NEETlore secrets?

>>163517

Nah, that cunt was there but avoided me like a bad smell. He knows he fucked up.. I think. That's good enough, hope he learns from it. Although maybe he meant someone in particular but if he did, he should take it up with whoever he thinks is like that.

The receptionist made a joke that he heard, we were redoing our contracts a few days ago and she said do I get a pay rise. Maybe that is what he meant.

Then again he was overly nice today.

>>163519

That is not how NEETlore works. You should know that.

maybe

>>163490

> my accountability to myself

God is watching.

>>163497

Did you have a wank?

>>163498

She shouldn't, she's been speaking english for at least 40 years.

>>163520

>Then again he was overly nice today.

That is how it works. People have their ups and downs it is best not to hold grudges, if you do you end up with awkward silent treatment and having to avoid people and that creates a toxic environment permanently.

>>163518

Mate even if you ignore taste the fact is that the Sonata Estate Casks at 9.5 are $8.50 while Aldi's casks are $9,

>>163523

nah though I;m honestly feeling

>tfw stressed

about shit

>>163522

no such thing as god

>>163525

Yeah, I smiled and laughed at his jokes. Let bygones be bygones. He didn't come down yesterday after he made her cry and did avoid all of us today so I think he feels some guilt.

Fuck NEETs I've been angry all day. I didn't even realise it because I was so angry at everything.

Just asked the gf if she thinks I'm an angry person and she gave me a polite but concerning spiel about how I'm an angry person by nature and what not.

My defeatist depression seems to have changed into a deep rage at how slow my progress in life is, I still feel like I need to go zero to hero as fast as possible.

>>163529

Sorry Dan, you are the one true God

>>163531

I have been calling you an angry cunt consistently all the time you have been here.

>>163531

Don't push it, focus on the positives and slowly alter the things that need changing.

Rome wasn't built in a day.

>>163531

Shire?

Mate I know those feels, I get fucking pissed off at my self all the fucking time, I fuck up shit at Work, get angry, get upset Think about my repressed memories get more upset, it's a cycle and if you need help to work through it I'm unironically here for you

>>163534

A lot of my posting style is quite hyperbolic.

>>163535

I have been, but it seems I've gotten ahead of myself. Time to re-evaluate and get back on track.

>>163532

A colossal waste of time

>>163538

Life.

Be in it.

>>163541

He looks sad in this image

>>163537

> Time to re-evaluate and get back on track.

Man, you are doing great. You have a decent job and a gf and that's all been this year.

I just ate half a bag of Nobby's nuts. Very salty.

>>163549

You are only supposed to nibble them.

>>163550

or lick the salt off them

>>163550

I get too enthusiastic sometimes. I become lost in the moment.

>>163547

Jesus is Dan

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dionysus#Parallels_with_Christianity

>>163551

and put them back

>>163554

I don't think nobby would like that.

>>163555

>Dan shall judge his people as one of the tribes of Israel

DAN MURPHEY HERE, YOU NEETS ARE LIKE THE KIKES TO ME AND I LOVE THEIR MONEY

>>163556

What Nobby doesn't know won't hurt Nobby

>>163558

Dan why can't you spell your own name correctly?

>>163559

Nobby might notice you putting his nuts in.

>>163560

Im goooned

>>163563

Good work m8

>>163562

What if I throw them behind the bar?

>>163565

I'm sure he'd let you toss them behind the bar.

>>163566

did it work?

>>163567

You will find that going to church is very therapeutic unlike visiting Craig's brothel.

>>163567

You have been drinking all week you boong.

>>163568

Good, good

>>163571

That's why he needs Dan.

>>163571

And ill drink some more

>>163574

But what about those tablets are you going to mix them together tonight?

>>163575

If he does the booze by mouth and puts the tablets up his bum then they won't meet and therefore it will be okay.

>>163576

Interesting theory

>>163575

Yeah gonna take a full pill to keep me up tonight, not gonna do anymore thou

>>163579

That's a reasonable plan. What did you get at Dan's?

>>163579

Why do you want to stay up tonight? Sleep is better for your mental health than pills.

>>163580

A rape

>>163581

He has a midnight goon filled aboriginal orgie to attend to.

>>163582

Just a carton of Emus?

>>163577

Misso didn't like it, I was headbanging.

>>163586

Cruisey?

>>163576

That would be disastrous.

The pills must be taken orally while alcohol is inserted into the bum.

>>163577

Don't think they'd unserstand

>>163585

He got a carton of Pabsts too to sate his American side of rape

>>163589

>Joondalup Dans not understanding how much of a tyrant NK is

>>163585

Fucking Dan was charging $48 for a block of export so I paid the extra $2 and got a block of VB

>>163588

>alcohol is inserted into the bum

He can use the same hose he uses to siphon sniff out of petrol tanks.

>>163587

She said it reminded her of this, but the GLEE version.

>>163592

>VB

as a Victorian you have shit taste

>>163595

MB is leagues ahead,

>>163595

It's Vaginal Backwash m8

It made me think of this when I first heard the guitar

>>163593

You don't even need a hose, one can simply stick the bottle's neck into the anus, clench tight and then do a hand-stand.

>>163599

That gets harder the more you drink that way.

>>163599

Do you have experience in this technique?

>>163596

>Melbourne

No gays allowed

>>163597

This

>>163600

>tfw unrepressed memories

>>163605

Cute

Sober on a friday night.

Its still a weird feeling NEETs, I feel like I need to splurge on some greasy food or something, and stay up late having 'fun' on the internet.

But that just seems so stupid and pointless. Hmm. I think I'll go to kmart and buy some new forks.

>>163607

A good practical fork purchase will be much better for your wellbeing than a nasty drunken binge.

>>163609

fork the neets

>>163607

Have a goon fork the NEETs

Was just about to leave to Kmart but felt embarrassed about my old dirty 'inside clothes' so I decided to change into something acceptable. Never have I cared about that.

>>163613

Would a missing tooth add or subtract from the blow job?

>>163612

You are evolving mate. You are making it.

>>163607

I remember years ago, when I would go out and buy some forks, and if feeling a bit naughty I would grab some spoons as well, those days were the best of my life, now all I have to look forward to is buying some saucers from the $2 shop on a sunday afternoon, life is hard.

>>163613

ur a boong

>>163614

There is only one way to find out.

Fucking Dan closed wtf, I will have to go to BWS for my beers

>>163619

Stay home and do some vigorous dancing instead.

>>163621

Nah went to the doctors today and it was shit, need to wash it away

>>163618

UNNA booked out for the next three hours

This one's for you Cruisey.

>>163619

Where do you live for Dan to be closed at this hour?

>>163622

You would do better to work on some coping strategies that don't involve intoxication.

>>163626

You need to be more pro-Dan.

>>163625

Melbourne, my local Dan's closes at 8 it turns out, I thought it was 9 or 10 since it's a Friday and all the normies would be getting their booze

>>163626

I do have one already, I believe most NEETs refer to it as "wanking"

>>163627

Indeed, there are far too many anti-dan posters lately.

>>163628

If you live at Kew, that's only a 20 minute drive to Monk.

>>163630

Sorry that was suburb that came up when I was looking for the opening hours of Dan Murphy's in Melbourne, but it seems to be for a lot of stores in Melbourne closing at 8.

Dan's disciples have become stale and predictable.

>>163632

StaleNEET your memes are stale

Another one for Cruisey.

Get clapping NEETs.

>>163635

I don't think a 3DPD boong smacking herself will make anybody happy. Give him weaboo music.

Feelin alive my friends

>>163637

Good to hear mate.

>>163636

Cruisey will like it, since he has a nigger misso

Another good one.

>>163639

Maybe she's a nigger that pretends to be white

>>163641

Apparently she's very religious so no she's not pretending to be white

>>163642

Oh lawdy

>>163642

Religion is popular in Africa because colonizers wanted the Africans to pretend to be more white

>>163644

not many whites are religioius these days

>>163645

The fedoras always win in the end

>>163633

Have a spoon

How many have (You) smashed tonight?

>>163648

I'm smashing a nice coffee right now

>>163649

Nice.

>>163645

Always been the case.

Most people don't have any religious devoutness, but don't really care either way, and would rather perform the rituals they don't 100% believe in "just in case".

This can be seen in historical figures like Napoleon, who was known for not practicing religion, and being declared the antichrist by the russian orthodox church, but who asked a priest to send him off on his death bed.

>>163650

It is. Nonalcoholic, too (for now)

>>163649

>tfw raped coffee

Bought a carlton zero after getting a few kitchen things at kmart. It's not bad I gotta say, felt quite alien to be in a bottleo too. Almost fell into Craigs spell

>>163654

I keep a lock on my pantry so NK can't get to it

>>163655

Does it taste like normal Carlton beer?

>>163657

There is something off about it, its yeasty but sweeter and not as bitter as real beer. It smells the same though.

>>163656

Is it very satisfying to lock the pantry?

>>163655

>Almost fell into Craigs spell

Good job avoiding it mate. You've done really well.

>>163660

Thanks NEET

>>163662

Begone foul beast

>>163665

>pic 4

unrealisitic for us all

>>163665

Being in a regular shaving rhythm and not deciding "it'll be right" for a day or two extra has improved my mood a bit. Might tick off purchasing a house negress next

>>163666

Join a group. Go to church. Make some phone calls.

>>163668

>Join a group.

In one, they don't do these things

>go to church

I'm Atheist

>Make some phone calls

to Hitler?

>>163665

>>163668

Sickening.

>>163669

You can just pretend to be religous

>>163671

Don't end up like this poor lost soul.

>>163672

I'm autistic though, nobody beleives my lies

>>163671

Sounds like a good plan

>>163671

Noice

>>163675

You can't find an easier group to fool than religious boomers

We seriously need a November NEET challenge to do together mates.

I suggest waking up early as our goal.

>>163680

I'd appreciate a not waking up early challenge tbqh

>>163678

>Noice

Are you being sarcastic? That photo is like a giant cry for help, a scream of misery and despair. Just look.

>>163682

Why do homos thing NK is a wayward bad boy that needs to be guided on to the right track?

He's beautiful just the way he is

>>163683

Goonbags or old bags?

>>163684

>Not Temple OS

>>163685

this

>>163682

I see a lad whose in need of a drink after a hard days work.

>>163674

Your just jelouse of my superior lifestyle

Really need to get myself some kind of mini fridge so I don't need to walk so far for each beer

>>163685

>He's beautiful just the way he is

He is miserable.

Everyone just stay calm, we're all gonna be ok, for now

>>163692

Your right, walking 3 meters to the fridge could cause you to lose weight

>>163693

I'm miserable without beer

>>163695

Very rude but also true

>>163692

I'll trade you mine for an actual fridge

>>163607

Show us a picture of the forks.

>>163700

>inb4 NK posts that picture of the knived dick

You guys posted a lot while I was out. Mostly shit.

>>163702

that artist doesn't seem to understand blowjobs or penises

>>163680

I like this idea, more than Soctober. I want a drink.

>>163706

You're almost half way there mate

Having some very well done toast with butter as my pre-bed snack. Delicious.

>>163708

That's how I like my toast too.

>>163708

Sounds very nice

>>163708

And onto a night of farting you go.

>>163711

Nice choice. Which shops did you go to?

>>163631

move to Canberra with 9pm Dans

>>163714

I live in WA and my Dans closes at 9 every day except Sunday

>>163713

Woolworths and BWS

>>163712

Your presence is becoming less and less tolerable.

>>163717

I miss argie neet

>>163715

But nobody wants to risk going to JoondyDans

>>163719

NK has already had a confirmed visit tonight and is currently getting sloshed. It's the safest chance you'll get all week

>>163720

no NEET, nows the worst time, hes behind the dumpster now

>>163721

cats are evil

>>163724

Indeed

>>163725

Coopers is the thinking man's choice

>>163725

>tfw no normal export cans

>>163722

Nah Dan made me go home, dumpsters getting emptied and cleaned tomorrow morning. Too many corpses kicking up a stink

>>163728

This sounds like bait

ded

>>163728

lies

>>163730

goon overdose?

>>163733

I have it on good authority that the reporting system at dans consists of getting beaten with an iron bar and told to keep quiet

>>163732

On his way to Danhalla.

>>163735

aye cuz

sleepy neets

>>163738

HARDCORE RAPE NEETS

>new house

>new internet plan

>unlimited data

>currently got 3 mb/s on my uplay download

Is this what life is like in those first world countries?

>>163740

Peak hour? Get on to those niggers and if they don't fix it go to the ombudsman

>>163741

isn't 3mb/s fucking fast though

goon

>>163742

No

>>163743

rape

>>163744

Really?

back at my parents they had 125kb/s

>>163745

neet

>>163746

Back in the early 2000's my 52kb modem would do 42 kbps at best, when I first got broadband in 2005 I was getting an average of 4-5 mbps

I got cable internet now and score about 20mbps

>>163748

my family was on rural broadband in a area with a monopoly

unna

>tfw out of goon and dans isn't open for another 7 hours

hold me bros

>>163752

You got any petrol in your car unna?

HArdcore neet rape

>tfw no gf

Time for another coopers i guess neets

M

O

R

N

I

N

G

A

L

L

Fuck me stayed up too long as it's now 6am. Night Night NEETs

>>163759

You could keep your goon in there

Morning neets. Have decided I'll shop like a normie and buy food for the entire week at once, rather than going to the shops everyday like I normally do - that just allows to many opportunities for executive treats.

Good morning NEETs.

>>163761

Good morning