/abdl/ - Adult Baby - Diaper Lover

I guess I got into ABDL back as a little child, when I started bedwetting shortly before a vacation trip. It was expected to be stress-related, so I got put in bedwetting pants, and I guess I liked it back then already.

Years later diapers came back up to me, ordered some online and wore them, looked on the internet and somehow stumbled into the whole ABDL theme, which kinda hooked me.

>>93777

considering what I've heard of others, half of that isn't even impossible. Stop doubting everything if you can't imagine shit.

>>93783

key word "imagine"

take your larps to the fucking larp thread faggot.

>>93777

Agreed. Moving in to your own house when you're only 22 and having the cash or skills to build a nursery is unlikely as fuck.

>>93833

Renting at 22 on your own is pretty feasible depending on location and nursery I imagine its just a lot of stuffies and that sort of set up rather than a proper crip or changing table

>>93838

Renting an entire house on your own at 22 is still incredibly unlikely.

>>93763

Still remember the time my mom/dad was changing one of my younger siblings, and as a joke said "what, you wanna wear one?"

Cue the downward spiral.

>>93840

There is an easy way to settle this.

A time stamped diaper in the nursery

>>93840

I've known a couple of guys who did that before at that age or younger, one of them was renting out rooms to cover the cost and the other was dealing a lot of drugs. There are landlords out there who aren't too picky as long as you can pay your rent on time

>>93841

My downward spiral was kind of like this. Older sister was a bedwetter until like 13, she wears pullups to bed and I often saw her in one and teased her about it.

I was 8 when she stopped. Once reaching puberty, imagined girl classmates were in diapers.

I was born in 1977 times were a bit different, you could spank your kid in a store and NO ONE called abuse. Parents were left to raise their kids as they saw fit. I a lot of my childhood wouldn’t fly now, and even by my late childhood things had changed a lot. So on with the tale of how I became an AB!

I was born with a medical condition called detrusor sphincter dyssynergia, this was caused by a somewhat traumatic birth which injured my spinal cord. I'm the oldest of several siblings and as my mother did not want two kids in diapers when my sister came along I was the one to potty train. Do to my unknown medical condition this did not go as planned, as I still was fairly young (around 18 months) my mother was finally convinced that maybe I just wasn't ready yet. When my little brother was born (I was around three close to four years old) my mother had decided there was no way she was having three kids and diapers. So once again a very strong attempt was made to try to potty train me.

This failed spectacularly, my parents had a cycle every few months they would hang up the potty training chart with the idea that this month was going to be the month I was potty trained. At first the chart would be used to reward me for not having accidents, after a few weeks of little to no improvement, it would turn into a punishment chart for my accidents. Again after a few weeks of little to no improvement my mother in frustration with throw in the towel and just put me back in diapers. One again this did nothing so she resorted to humiliating me to try to get me to potty train. Inevitably I would hear the dreaded words "If you want to wet and mess yourself like a baby then you'll be treated like one".

For the next few days, weeks, sometimes month or so I would be treated just like I was a two year old. I would have to wear diapers full time and would have to use them for their full intended purpose (no toilet). I'd be dressed as a toddler in onesies, footies, rompers, pants with snap in the crotch for easy diaper changes, all in nursery prints, sown specially for me and my mother and my aunt. I would have to eat in a high chair, drink from bottles or sippy cups, and I was put to bed in a crib. My father was a carpenter and my highchair, crib and playpen were all made by him.

On a side note even when I wasn't on baby punishment I still had to sleep in the crib because of my bed wetting. I was diapered every night before bed but the mattress was a special plastic coated one. I didn't have to have the side up though, so that was OK I guess. Anyway baby humiliation and punishment would last a few days to a few months at the longest. I think they would just get sick of changing dirty diapers on an older kid and give up. I would go back to just wearing training pants in the day, or having plastic pants over my underwear, and at night I would be diapered before bed. Things would go this way until once again a month or so down the road, my parents would wake up with a wild hair up their ass and the whole thing started over again. Once again in new potty train chart would be hung on the fridge and the whole cycle would repeat its self.

OK so here is a bit of a side-note but it will be a factor later on. I'm also very dyslexic, unfortunately I did a great job of hiding this as a young child. I'm incredibly intelligent and was able to memorize all the books my parents read to me page by page. Because of this I could easily recite the book back to them page by page and so they thought I was reading it. It wasn't until school (around third grade) that people start to suspect I couldn't read. Prior to this I was labeled as being lazy, people could tell I was highly intelligent but figured I just wasn't trying. This didn't help my situation at home with the bed and pants wetting. It was during these years of my life (6yo-9yo) my parents really stepped up the humiliation and baby punishment on the grounds of "well obviously he's just lazy, if he really wanted to he'd stop wetting and messing his bed and pants".

So going back to the above section oftentimes I was forced to take an afternoon nap. I remember distinctly the afternoon nap I discovered masturbation. I had one of those rocking horses as a kid with a metal frame and springs, I loved that thing, I always fancied myself a cowboy. Much of my play around that time revolve around me being a cowboy, once again like many other summer days I was being diaper punished (I was around 6yo at the time). My mother had just changed me and put me in the crib for an afternoon nap. I was never tired and always hated having to lay there for an hour or so till she'd come get me. But if I got out of the crib I would be given a good spanking. It was a particularly hot day so I was just wearing a t-shirt and diaper.

There are these keys made by little tike for teething. I'm sure you've seen them before I think every house in America that had kids had one, was a white or blue ring with keys of different colors.

Anyway some were on the floor near my crib, I knew there was no way could reach them, but dreamed up a great story about how I was a cowboy being kept in this cage. If I didn't get out my captors would burned me at the stake. I was reaching through the bars trying to grab the keys, again knowing full well there's no way I could reach them. Lying on my stomach with my arm outstretched through the bars I started pushing with my feet against the bottom wall of the crib. Rocking myself back and forth as I tried desperately to reach the keys to free myself before I was burned at the stake. I had a great imagination and was really bored!

Anyway rubbing the front of the diaper felt really good after a few minutes, then really REALLY good, then HOLY CRAP! At the time I didn't know I was masturbating but after the HOLY CRAP part I felt very relaxed and tired and quickly fell asleep. Whenever this thing was it felt really good and being tired and able to quickly falling asleep afterwards was a bonus! So I did it often to kill time while being forced to take a nap or having an early bedtime. It wasn't until I was about eight or so that I realized what I was doing was masturbating.

When they finally found out it was dyslexic, (around 9) they stopped buying a lot of the schools BS about me just being lazy. The last time I was diaper punished was 12 my parents had laid off punishing me a bit for the wetting. But I still had the occasional pooping accident, and EVERY TIME I did I knew I'd be back in full toddler mode for at least a week if not longer. This time it was at my dads parents, (my grandparents house). My grandma mentioned to my mom that since they had just found my dyslexia not too long ago. Maybe there was a medical reason for my wetting and messing. It was long after that I was diagnosed with detrusor sphincter dyssynergia or DSD. They also found my bowel was only about 60% of what it should be. In the hunt for possible causes the fact that I had a traumatic birth came up. It was decided that I may have suffered some spinal cord injuries during birth.

Anyway my parents (especially my mother) felt so bad about all the years of punishing and humiliating me over it. She still feels really guilty about it today, to the point she's block some of it out. SO my baby cloths all disappeared as did the crib, highchair and playpen and I got to sleep on the top of a new bunk bed. I was still in training pants in the day, and diapered at bed time. BUT mom was more understanding about it and by 13 I was diapering myself at night. Eventually I was sent to see a “pee-coach” and she helped me get the point I could FINALLY wear big kid under wear in the day and was just in trainers at night. As I hit puberty I quickly I realized when listening to classmates that the things I found sexual were not the things they found sexual. And that the things they found sexual didn't turn me on at all. I found the things I use to HATE (diaper punishing) to be strangely arousing, I thought I was some type of pervert, or worse a pedo.

I was at my uncle's house during the Connie Mack world series, I was 15 and board because I didn't like baseball. Left alone I decided to go out to my uncle's storage room and rummaged through it. He had been involved in the severe car accident and had to relearn everything. I knew he had some diapers out there, so I figured I'd go find them. While going through boxes I ran into several boxes full of his porn mag collection. Hustler, Playboy, Penthouse mostly but a few miscellaneous others. I wasn't much into that sort of porn, I'd rather nurse on a pair of tits then motorboat them. Anyway I was just give them a quick thumb through when the front page of one called "HUMAN DIGEST" had a story that caught my eye. It was from January 1982 and it said "DIAPER FETISH" on it. I stopped and quickly gave it a look. Inside I found an article by Janet Fitzgerald called BABY ME! Confessions of a Diaper Fetishist. I read the whole article, then decided to rip out the pages and save them. I also tore off the magazine cover and kept it too. Over the next few days I when though about 800 porn mags getting every story they had about this diaper fetish thing. Side note I saved and eventually scanned all the articles and covers so I would have them.

I learned I wasn't a freak that others like diapers and being babied, and that there where places like The Diaper Pail Fraternity, and N.K. Products which had all kinds of stuff for AB's. I decided to reach out to the DPF and get their roster, I schemed up a great plan, had it shipped to my uncle's house a year later and got it then. So this is where I go into all the older AB's I meet how we hangout, and how I got to know all of the older AB's and DL's. BUT as this is getting REALLY long I should end it. There are a LOT of diaper punishment and humiliation stories I could tell, events that happened, and embarrassing side tales of diaper adventures I had as a kid and teen. BUT I was not out to make fap material so I will just give the basics here. The long and short of it is that how I became and AB!

On a side-note at 22 I was on the way home from work at 4am. At this point in life I was wearing diapers to bed and light training pants in the day as I was still wetting the bed about once a week, and about once a month I’d have a day time accident. ANYWAY I was on the way home when a 16 year old fell asleep behind the wheel of her parents car and rear ended me at a red light going 85-95 MPH. She hit my car 3 time (but I only remember 2) I woke up in the back seat of a VERY crushed car. I was raced to the hospital were it was found I’d a suffered sever back and spine injury. I lost feeling in my left leg, part of my right, parts of my back and have movement problems with my left arm and hand. The crash put an end to what little bladder control I had, it also greatly reduced my bowl control. SO I’m now in diapers full time, BUT again tales for another time!

Anyways, not until I was 22 or so did I have a roommate at college into diapers and he had some cheap depends for me to wear. Funny bit here: I'm not much of a channer but this fag has been one for like 20 years since the early days and he still lurks and sometimes posts, and he's the reason I poke here every now and then.

We still find it funny how unlikely it was. Though there were "long story" details skewing the odds in our favor, it's still unlikely and the sort of crap you expect to find in diaperfics, not IRL.

But this guy is way more bold than me in general and actually started ordering disposable diapers and other ABDL stuff and so now I've gotten the nerve to order diapers as well. So here I am. Conflicted as ever but more worldly wise and experienced at least. I got into wetting the diapers, too, but not beyond footie PJs and a paci for the AB side. I guess the plushes count but those were kinda there own unrelated thing before I got diapers.

Very little touching on my life outside of itself. And I hope it stays that way. Unless the way it touches on my life is finding a wife through it but fat chance of that.

Tl;dr: always loved my padding, even when I was in it. Just didn't have the nerve to stay in it. Later figured out how to get adult diapers when I moved out to college, though. I love diapers but kinda hate that I love them because it's just ugly af to see myself in them and it's not an interest that exactly garners respect.

Then again, what fetish does? But it's definitely pretty damn low on the dignity and public understanding totem pole. And I sure as heck hate seeing myself in one in the mirror it's so disgraceful even with a decent body. But I love the feeling of wearing and wetting them too darn much, or looking down and seeing it and touching it.

Though it's kinda ironic the most sadistic fetishists are probably the most powerful people in the world, getting off on dominating cultures and nations and power in general.

>>93763

That tape job tho. That diaper is almost on sideways.

I was a bedwetter til I was 13. When I was 12, after years of being warned by my mom she finally bought some Goodnites pullups for me to wear. I always had a longing to be made to wear diapers. Im not sure where it came from. My earliest memories come from watching Looney Tunes cartoons where the machine forces them into diapers. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uq_yu0WNedc I guess I liked the idea. So when my mom showed me the Goodnites, I had to pretend I didnt want them but deep down I was ecstatic, so I reluctantly agreed. That was a fun summer. But eventually she stopped buying them and I stopped bedwetting. I got desperate and one day I found a vibrator in my parents room and used it on my private parts hoping that it would make me pee myself? It made sense at the time but that's how I discovered masturbation. Then when I was 14 I found a pampers diaper on a baby doll in my sisters room and tried to put it on. But it was so small that I had to pull it tight to fit which made me accidently orgasm. I felt shame and disgust so I didnt think about diapers for years until I stumbled upon some diaper porn. This led to me ordering free diaper samples so it's less of a commitment. I just order them when I get a strong urge like once a year. It's kind of a love hate thing.

I remember wearing pull-ups when I was young, like 3 or 4, at night, because I have this vague memory of my dad helping me put one on.

I was maybe 8 or 9 and I had a friend who was a bedwetter and he was sleeping over at my house. I remember talking him into throwing his used pull-up away at my house instead of taking it home and throwing it away. He did, and I remember trying it on. I also remember trying to hide it to wear later by putting it in the corner of my closet in this area that was covered by some shelving. That didn't work, obviously.

After that, I was maybe 10 or 11 and my parents and I were camping and I wet the bed. I remember my dad taking me away from the group and telling me that if I wet again he would make me wear diapers. Obviously I wet again, because bedwetting. So I wore goodnites for a year or something until it stopped.

12/13/14 I spent a lot of time reading diaper stories on deeker and other sites and stuff.

So, yea, that's what I got. *shrugs*

>>95594

So you're incontinent on both ends? How did that happen?

>I just think my chances dating are better among people who think it's cute

If you want a serious relationship, I don't suggest starting it through a fetish, because the feeling won't last. Soon or later the novelty wears off and nothing else will hold both of you together.

>>95625

I didn't notice until you say it, now I'm reeeeing. Damn diaper noobies.

>>95628

>But it was so small that I had to pull it tight to fit which made me accidently orgasm.

What? How?

I am not even remotely sober, so this is probably a fucking mess: I'm not incontinent, but my entire life, accidents (of both kinds) have been really common. Most of the trouble comes in knowing when I have to go, making it to the bathroom. I have a pretty weak bladder, which makes it a little difficult, but it's not like my bladder doesn't work. Also selectively mute, so asking for the bathroom in school was difficult if not impossible as well. But as a result I was in and out of diapers and absorbent briefs or whatever regularly until late into my freshman year of high school. The first time I intentionally used a pull up instead of the toilet was probably at age 3. Nap time at daycare and I didn't feel like getting up. I remember the incident pretty vividly, and I remember enjoying the feeling a lot. From kindergarten on through elementary I made very good friends with other kids who enjoyed wetting and messing themselves, one or two were just incontinent but the rest of them just liked it. Sometimes I wonder if it was just some unreal streak of luck (there's like 5 of these people at least, 2 I stay in contact with), but I was also in the autism class so maybe not (not retard class, autism class - high functioning only). Some very vivid memories from this period I can identify as influential; watching my friend mess a pair of jeans and wait hours to go to the nurse and get a change of clothes on multiple occasions. He was super bold about it, he'd declare loudly to anyone who asked or he felt like telling he'd pooped himself, he'd sit in it and rub it around after shitting himself in front of me, etc. He's one of the two I'm still in contact with. Another friend of mine squatting in the corner during gym and pooping in a pair of shorts, sitting in it for a couple of minutes, telling me it felt good, and that I should do it with him - he's the other I'm still in contact with. After that, nothing really new developed aside from me starting to get off on diapers more consciously, only very recently have I accepted both regression and the fetish as healthy. I'm both AB/DL, not always at the same time. I was into wetting/messing before infantilism or even diapers, but I happened to wear diapers at the time.

>>95633

Just born that way. It took me ages to potty train the first time, and I never had good control. After a while, it just made more sense to go back to wearing diapers. Less of a waste of time.

And yes, you're right, but… Well, I have no luck outside the fetish for sure.

>>95639

a class for high functioning autism

This would have been really nice honestly. I have never heard of such a thing though, but it makes sense, if the population pool is large enough. Did some of the kids actually wear diapers in school, or did they just go in their underwear? How often of an occurence was it? Also how would the one kid get away with pooping himself and not changing for hours at school?

I think I was sort of born this way. Whatever caused it, it has been there for a looooong time. I dont know if it was inevitable for it to become sexual, but there has been some fascination with diapers for as long as I can remember. Or at least an inclination towards that. I remember being really young, maybe 4-5 and playing what I called "the baby game" with my mom. Basically I would just play with something and she would periodically pretend to change my diaper (I wasnt wearing them for real at this point). I would make different sounds that would indicate that I was "peeing" or "pooping". I was still wetting the bed at that point too.

Our neighbor and good friend ran a small daycare in her house for several years, and I always remember I got excited when we went over there to visit because diapers were involved over there. Once, she had her whole kitchen remodeled, and so it wasnt really safe for a bunch of infants and toddlers to be running around in there, so my mom agreed to allow them to sort of occupy a few rooms in our house for part of the day. (I dont remember the details of the arrangement, if it was more than one room or not, how long each day, etc) I do remember that a plastic bag was used to hold wet diapers and it just hung from a cabinet handle next to the changing table, and I always really liked the smell of it. Not like old, rancid piss smell, but "fresh" pee (from a few hours before or less) mixed with huggies/pampers/luvs scent. One time I even put one on, then showed my mom for some reason. She asked if it was one of the clean ones, and I said no, it was from the bag. All things considered, she wasnt too put off by this, although she obviously did object but I didnt understand the big deal, saying something along the lines of "its just pee" (as opposed to poop). I dont remember what she said in response, but I think the outcome was she didnt freak out but I was just told not to do that again or something, or that if I wanted to play with a diaper that I shouldnt use one that had already been peed in. I also remember that we had a few diapers that I would play with (stuffed animals, pretending to wear, etc) when I was really little. My mom would let me put water in them to see how they absorbed water/pee, and I had the idea to put dry cat food in it to simulate poop. (my guess is because it was nearby and was sort of brown). Another one of our neighbors would periodically have these big bonfires where a bunch of friends from around the neighborhood would gather for hot dogs and smores and the like. The adults would stand around the bon fire and talk, drink a few beers, etc, and the kids would all play games and play in the creek that ran through their back yard. (it was really a drainage ditch, but it was a creek to us, as it had little clam things, crayfish, some minnows here and there, and we would throw sticks in to see which ones moved faster, etc) and I remember during one of these gatherings that I had been wearing a diaper earlier in the day just for fun/playing. (I was fully potty trained by this point) I remember at one point I suddenly realized that I was wearing a diaper around all these other kids, and I sort of panicked, thinking "what if they notice! they'll think Im not potty trained yet!" and I ran back across the street to our house to take it off an put underwear back on.

In the time after I was potty trained, I remember several times after I had an accident sitting in the bathroom with my mom (who was upset about the accident) and she would ask "do we need to put you back in diapers?" and I always said no, because I knew that was what I was supposed to say and I was a little afraid that she would get mad if I said yes, but I always remember wanting to say yes.

Fast forward to around 5th grade, and i was 10-11 years old. My brother (who incidentally is also into diapers) shows me what he says are "hilarious" ads in a bunch of old "Parents" magazines for pullups/training pants. Things like "When your stuck in a traffic jam with a 2* year old with a six pack of juice boxes, you'll be glad you brought them" or something along those lines. *(might have been 3)

>>95732

2/2

At this point I hadn't thought about diapers for a long time, but now it was like something in my brain had been reactivated after laying dormant for years. I had stopped wetting the bed when I was probably between 5-7 years old, so it had been a while since I had any exposure to diapers or anything. (although I did wet the bed a few times around this same time when I was 11. I think it was mostly stress related, we had just moved to a new house in the same area but different neighborhood so I had switched schools in the past year or so, plus my mom was really really sick due to an autoimmune disease that had flared up, and I was afraid she was going to die because I had heard that it had damaged her brain stem, and I knew that the brain stem regulated all of your bodies autonomic systems like heart beat, kidneys, liver, and breathing (whenever you dont manually override it at least), so I was worried that it was going to kill her. Fortunately, it turns out that it doesnt work like that, but I didnt realize that at the time. Anyway, I was super stressed out at the time, and I wet the bed one night, which of course stressed me out even more, and I was super spazzed out and embarrassed by it, and then it happened again a few nights later, and I think it even happened a third time a bit after that, but I woke up in the middle while I was still going (I remember not really registering what was happening for a few seconds, but being aware of the sensation of peeing, then suddenly freaking out because I was wetting myself, and frantically struggling to stop for a few seconds before I finally was able to) I told myself that if it happened again I would tell my mom and ask if I could wear pullups or something until it stopped (in retrospect Im sure my mom and dad already knew) but it didnt happen again.)

Later on when I was like 13 or 14 I snagged a pullup from a friend or family member with a young kid, discovered abdl on the internet, and the rest is history.

>>95677

some used diapers, not many though

and it was like, decently often ig? maybe once every 1-2 weeks, of course, there were kids who had daily or near daily accidents. The kid who stayed in it without getting changed did it like once a month, the other guy I'm still in contact with did it near daily.

I had genuine accidents maybe 3-5 times a week, only intentionally very rarely at school, maybe 4-5 a year

My daycare on the other hand, I intentionally wet or messed maybe twice a month, as I was left alone or with other weird fuckin kids who did it too until I got picked up

and that one kid just wouldn't tell anyone and they didn't notice, i guess. He did mostly do it during 4th period I think, which was directly before lunch and recess, and nobody typically noticed when we came back from lunch or from outside (if my memory is correct, it alternated by day which was first, who knows why)

And yeah, the class, you'd think it'd be nice but those teachers were vile fuckin people, didn't really give a shit about the kids there, some were abusive, unfortunately

Was around 5 when my sister was still in pullups. For some reason I had a weird thing with enjoying the feeling of bulk between my legs and mush on my butt. Every now and then I would sneak a pullup from my sister's room or get my dad's underwear and stuff a blanket inside. Eventually got the courage to start messing myself when I was maybe 7 or 8 and slept in some messy underwear. Ever since then I was hooked. Eventually I started getting creative making makeshift diapers with towels and trash bags. My parents didn't quite know about this yet so I had a little bit of room to be creative and eventually got to the point I would just be messing myself around the house during a homeschool program I did for a year. Eventually my parents caught on though and they werent happy, though I was able to sneak most stuff by them. I had a friend who also kinda liked diapers and his sister wet the bed so he would sneak a case of goodnites out for us every now and then, but she stopped shortly after that. Didn't get a chance to wear real diapers again until I was 16 and had a car to drive. I would go out and buy like 2 or 3 bunches of bananas and goodnites and stay up all night fake messing myself. Didn't get to wear a real real diaper though until I was 18 and got some actual depends (no clue why I waited this long) and I enjoyed those. Come to around 19 and I got a friend in town who was an ABDL living with his husband. Would buy abdl diapers from him every now and then because still living with parents and they check mail. Now that my mom moved out and my dad doesn't care too much because hes away most of the time I just order diapers in the mail and wait for night to use them.

>>95820

Wow, that's relatively similar to me. I would wear all my pairs of underwear at once when I was 5-6 to stimulate the feeling of bulk. Found it both very arousing (even though I didn't know what sexual arousal was) but also psychologically calming etc. Brave of you to sleep in messy underwear age 7-8! My parents wouldn't have allowed that. Was this ABDL friend someone you knew in real life? Given it's such a rare fetish it'd be very interesting if you both just happened to have it, maybe one of you gave it to the other so to speak

>>95847 the guy I bought diapers off of didnt know me until he DMd me on discord that he lived near me. The other two guys (I dont think I mentioned the other one) that I met that were into diapers were already like that as well, but not exactly into it and dropped the whole thing after a little while. As for sleeping messy, i got a little lucky on that one. It was solid and my room was next to the bathroom where the cat's litter box was next to for a short time. My mom noticed the smell but thought it was that. Haven't slept messy after that except for a few times with a bunch if bananas or the gel I'm diapers that I would sometimes hydrate and rip out of cheaper diapers to simulate a sort of hyper messy feeling

>>93763

When my parents "potty trained" me around 3, they took away the diapers I enjoyed without explanation, then put me in underoos, and when I did one or two, they'd hit me with a belt and chase me around the house and scream SHAME at me, it scarred me for life and they take no responsibility for how they fucked me in the head either, the fucking narcissists. They wonder why I never call them.

I posted a lot about this in the childhood memories thread so I won't blather a lot about it here, but I have some birth defects that basically left me incontinent all throughout my childhood (still have some bladder issues to this day). Wore diapers and was changed like a baby until I was 7 or 8 (along with lots of other bad hospital-related stuff), then was switched to totally inadequate pads and plastic pants after that (lots of leaks, public accidents, etc). Parents meant well but they were pretty stupid and neglectful about it. Even as a little kid, as embarrassed as I was, I longed for the security of diapers and wanted to be back in them again. I'd steal them from aunts' diaper bags, put them on in secret, hate myself, etc. This is before the proliferation of the internet so I had no idea what was going on with my brain. I had wet/messy accidents literally every day for years, bowels gradually got better and were mostly normal by 12 or 13, but bladder-incontinence continued for many years until I eventually grew up and sought out medical treatment on my own.

FAQ: yes, I wore diapers to school and was regularly changed by the principal or the nurse until 7 or so; yes, other kids knew or suspected I was incontinent (they'd see my diapers and/or plastic pants sticking out of my jeans at recess, though I always denied it); I wore pads in middle school and high school and still had accidents, but I was good at hiding it (i.e. hiding in the bathroom stall until my pants dried, then claiming I was sick so I could go home). This was a different school from when I was younger/diapered so somehow, nobody knew.

Oops, I blathered a bit more than I meant to. Sorry!

>>95961

Damn, man. I'm sorry. My parents neglected me (left me in wet/messy diapers/pants for hours, didn't keep my incontinence a secret, etc) but at least they didn't hit or yell at me about it. Sorry that happened.

>>93763

One of my earliest sexual memories, pre discovery of masturbation, was wrapping a soft bath towel around myself and being aroused by the feeling of tightness and softness all at once.

It's taken me most of my life so far to accept the curiosity and finally try diapers. And thankfully I finally had a mommy who would love me no matter what, who embraced that side of me and discovered a side of herself so we both have been loving it and have been able to explore way more than either of us thought we'd be able to.

I'm locked in chastity right now, and the only reason I'm not being a good lil crinklebutt for mommy right now is I gotta go to the store and be a grown up first!

Everything crystallized when I was around 12.

Background: I am the oldest sibling and I was potty-trained very early so that my parents didn’t have to deal with two kids in diapers at the same time. I think this early rush to grow up had the opposite effect; I was that kid that held on to childish stuff way past when my peers or even my younger siblings did (believing in Santa, stuffed animals, etc.). I got teased a lot in school, by both guys and girls, and because I’ve always been a sensitive guy, I internalized a lot of it.

When I was 12, a bunch of stuff happened at the same time. First, I realized I was bisexual while sharing a bedroom with my friend at a sleepover. I remember wanting him to see me in my underwear so badly that I took off my pjs and got into bed with just my underroos on. My friend had moved on to boxers at this time like most guys and teased me for my immature taste in underwear, which got me so excited, I could hardly stand it.

Second, I ended up getting a serious crush on this girl who teased me mercilessly. She had had a couple boyfriends while I had never even kissed anyone. The gulf between me and my more experienced peers grew, but with her the humiliation was different

Thirdly, it was the year that I had gotten up the nerve to finally steal a pack of pullups from the drugstore. I hid them in my backpack and rollerbladed home. When I was finally alone that night, I put a pair on in front of the mirror, and that was that. I felt so ashamed and excited, like it was where I belonged.

I love being a big diaper boy. I don’t even think about regular sex anymore. Clearly, it’s for real adults, not big baby freaks me. I always felt different without knowing why. When I found diapers, it was all so obvious. I was destined to make all my cummies into a diaper. It even goes beyond the sexual. Diapers make me feel happy and safe. They’re all I need.

I wonder how common it is for this to result from being sexually abused. Like I know it's not the case for everyone, obviously, and most ABDLs object to the suggestion, but I feel like there's such a clear line from one to the other for me.

>>96154

bro I'm literally just into piss and this is an easier cleanup and feels way better, the fuck are you talking about

>>96353

[second part]

Things started to accelerate as I've had a really uninteresting relationship with a girl I didn't like when I was 18-19yo. With a lot of miscomfort though, as I really realised how difficult my fetish would make it for me. But independantly from that, this first experience had been extremely deceptive for me, to a point I maybe even don't completely realize to this day. And around the same time, "from nowhere", the idea that I might also be into dudes crossed my mind. It went really progressively, and I've had a few years considering myself bisexual even if my mild interest in girls was slowly decreasing and my interest into guys was increasing, collecting gay porn, trying to cuddle with male friends, etc. But the thing is that my ABDL side was, and still is, extremely pegged to my heterosexual side. When it comes to gay porn, ABDL stuff just make things feel unattractive and indifferent for me. On the other hand, I can say for sure now how much my self-image and self-confidence that I've developped from 18yo to 24yo revolves around being into dudes. I was still wanking mostly to ABDL stuff, but weirdly felt more attracted to dudes nonetheless. And, more and more often, I would start wanking with ABDL and finish myself on gay porn (this has become the regular for me now).

At the same time (starting when I was around 17yo), my auto-sexual ABDL part, locked in bathrooms etc, felt more and more unsatisfying and I've totally ceased to do it at some point. Tried again like one year and half ago, and it just felt like crap. From this, my interest in making it real pretty much died. And third-person ABDL scenarios, with absolutely no guys implied, were the only ones to remain. Only girls in these recurring scenarios, and exclusively auto-sexual girls, weirdly. Psychologically distanced from myself, obviously, and thinking about it a few times, I've come to the conclusion that I don't want this to happen in real life to me either. Just not interested about it irl. It stayed like this for a few years and it still is how it works for me, along with my gay interests. The thing is that, through stages, coming back-and-forth, and hesitations, even these interests started to wither for me. Like, at least partly through boredom and loss of interest. I plan to actually start to have irl gay relationships as I feel confident enough now, and maybe that plays a role. In fact, as I don't have (as much) repressive and just generally unpleasant feelings about my gay side, it just feels much better and I've never had such powerful orgasms than some really good wankings I've had with gay porn. And that also probably plays a role. To make it clearer about my gay interests, it partly mimics the feelings I was seeking in ABDL stuff, even if it's partly different, and not ABDL at all (simply soft humiliation, and mainly "wrong thing at the wrong time" types of fetishes, which was what got me into ABDL in the first place). That was at first intentional, a strategy. I really wanted an alternative.

>>96354

[third part]

To summarize it, I've went from "that's what sex means for me" in my teens, to "I can have it like this but also differently" in the past years, to "maybe I can even do without it in my life". From my early perspective that really early had to do with miscomfort about it (rather than simply repression), I feel like maybe I was from the beginning, fundamentally different than most of you guys. I don't know, reading stuff here and there I feel like I've never been as deep as many people in the fetish even though it was basically my only sexual interest. I've always had some boundaries, more or less. Paradoxically, all throughout this process, ABDL stuff was becomming more and more mundane in my mind, as I read some quite down-to-earth analysis about itfrom some of you guys, that unveiled the really mundane BDSM fundamental aspects it has (but also probably because I was more and more tired of repressing). Like, now I feel like, people do that, whatever (if I forget about the few weird creeps that exist in this community). I've still found myself wanking to ABDL in the past few days, but my feelings about it have never been this blurry. Two days ago I was at a peak of indifference about it, having even difficulties at keeping an erection. I've also realised that none of my self-image has to do anything about it, it's almost outside of my identity as I get it. So, I don't know what to expect now, will it die ? Will it stay at a stage of low interest ?

I hope I haven't bored the few people who would have put enough dedication to read this entire thing, if there is there any. I just had to find a place to say that. And I just feel like that's probably odd, and that I couldn't be the only one. At least, to have seen their interest for ABDL decrease to some degree throughout their life experience. If I put it sincerily, I feel happy about it. I feel like it would have been sad if all my sex experiences from my teens to the grave would have revolved around that.

…Dang. That's the first time I ever talk about anything related to this to actual people (at least without hiding the actual matter). I swear.

>>96355

I wouldnt worry too much about it, I think having your sexual tastes change with time is pretty normal. also good for you for getting it all out there